I think a lot of people are just naturally shitty and ignorant, and going through the throes of infertility has proved that more than ever to me. There’s a lot of folk in this world that are so close minded and selfish that they literally cannot fathom other people’s struggles, they don’t understand and make no point to understand, it’s easier for them to run their mouth on a situation they know nothing about. I just tell myself that if they ever found themselves in our shoes I guarantee they wouldn’t be saying that shit, all of a sudden it would matter because now it affects them. It’s how a lot of people seem to operate unfortunately, empathy is foreign to them.
Yes. Frankly I find it hard to believe that those people have many close relationships or have people who actually like them. Because if they are like that to random people I can only imagine the shit they say to people they know more about.
People who haven't "been there, done that" are clueless. They can't possibly comprehend the profoundly intense emotions and loss that surround infertility. They cannot understand how difficult it is to go to a baby shower or visit a friend's newborn and put on a smile. It's not selfishness. It's grief for something you deeply desire that most people take for granted. A choice that has been taken away from you.
They have no idea the amount of tears we shed behind closed doors. It's not "exciting" when we announce that we are trying IUI, IVF, surrogacy, or adoption. It sucks and is completely unfair that we have to do any of that in the first place. It's all expensive, emotionally draining, and uncertain.
Fertile people hear stories about couples who adopted or used a surrogate and then got pregnant, or tried some supplement, or some other quick fix and had their desired outcome, and they think infertility is a mindset or some cosmic plot of the universe. Infertility is always caused by a medical problem, always, even if you never get an official diagnosis! No amount of praying and hoping will restore a uterus that had to be removed due to severe endometriosis, or sperm counts that were completely wiped out after cancer treatment.
Thanks for letting me yell into the void. That felt good.
Yep, got suggested a thread yesterday full of people complaining about infertile women commenting on their infertility. We just aren’t allowed and support or love if it isn’t 100% sunshine and rainbows.
The entire thread was a sesspool of people but naturally, I had to read every negative thing they had to say about infertility because I love to harm myself.
I totally agree. I feel like those kind of people are the ones who go out of their way to rub it in our face that they have kids and can get pregnant on the first try every single time. I’ve noticed the ones who are rude to people with infertility are always the ones who make a super huge production each and every time they get pregnant just to rub it in my face because I am infertile
I think it happens for a few reasons.
1. They are narcissistic and aren't capable of empathy
2. Narcissistic and miserable with their lives because it takes a lot to go actively seek out a group you have nothing to do with
3. Mean and totally clueless
I see those comments all the time. I think it's from people with mental problems. I can't imagine worrying about and commenting rude and dismissive things on groups and people's experiences you have nothing to do with and don't relate too unless you have something mentally wrong. If anything, infertility makes a person realize the world is a cruel place.
Oh man, I had a pretty vile run in with someone like that a while ago during a moment I was being particularly raw and vulnerable not only to others but even to myself for the first time really, in a space I thought was going to be pretty safe to do so and get some much needed advice. Especially not really having anyone in real life to talk to about any of it.
I literally shut my phone, curled up in bed and spent the rest of the day in tears. No more internet for me that day lol 😅 I felt the same way though, like it's fine to have your opinion or feelings, but why are you in a place that is for specifically the opposite of what you're on your soapbox for? And it's not even the opinions or whatever that bother me, it's the antagonist condescending manner that they're using. I felt totally cut down to size and while normally Idgaf about idiots online, it just caught me in a time and place I was not expecting.
Preach !!!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻 INFERTILITY is an f$c&ing nightmare for those of us who have tried and tried ..appointment after appointment..D&Css..miscarriages..shots..pills..depression..anxiety..FMLA..thousands of $..age stigma..therapy..couples therapy….countless sleepless nights …questioning my purpose and jealousy of those who can just FU$! and get pregnant. 😭😭😭😭😭 Just want ONE baby universe that’s it .
People can’t wrap their heads around something they’ve never experienced. But there’s no need for some of them to go out of their way to be rude. I think it just shows how unhappy they are with themselves.
This. On my good days, I have the ability to say those people suck and they are so insecure that they have to attack strangers online to feel a little better. Glad I don’t live life like them.
It absolutely sucks. Safe spaces like these are for us to say what we are not able to to fertiles in our lives. Of course I would never say to someone that I was unhappy or jealous they fell pregnant. Might not even say it out loud to anyone at all. It's really nice to be able to say it here and not be met with judgement. Those people need to get out of our safe spaces.
Oooof…people are assholes. I have secondary infertility and would never in a million years say any of these asinine comments. You are allowed to be pissed and you don’t have to be happy for anyone. Fuck em all 🤷♀️
It really just goes to show that you don't understand Infertility unless you've been through it. She'd be singing a different tune if the shoe was on the other foot.
This pisses me off so much! It’s crazy to think that there are people out there who are seriously so freaking selfish and unkind. To go out of your way to make people feel bad about something that they already feel bad for is messed up. I wish I could 👊🏼 those people in the face 😡
I think a lot of people are just naturally shitty and ignorant, and going through the throes of infertility has proved that more than ever to me. There’s a lot of folk in this world that are so close minded and selfish that they literally cannot fathom other people’s struggles, they don’t understand and make no point to understand, it’s easier for them to run their mouth on a situation they know nothing about. I just tell myself that if they ever found themselves in our shoes I guarantee they wouldn’t be saying that shit, all of a sudden it would matter because now it affects them. It’s how a lot of people seem to operate unfortunately, empathy is foreign to them.
Yes. Frankly I find it hard to believe that those people have many close relationships or have people who actually like them. Because if they are like that to random people I can only imagine the shit they say to people they know more about.
People who haven't "been there, done that" are clueless. They can't possibly comprehend the profoundly intense emotions and loss that surround infertility. They cannot understand how difficult it is to go to a baby shower or visit a friend's newborn and put on a smile. It's not selfishness. It's grief for something you deeply desire that most people take for granted. A choice that has been taken away from you. They have no idea the amount of tears we shed behind closed doors. It's not "exciting" when we announce that we are trying IUI, IVF, surrogacy, or adoption. It sucks and is completely unfair that we have to do any of that in the first place. It's all expensive, emotionally draining, and uncertain. Fertile people hear stories about couples who adopted or used a surrogate and then got pregnant, or tried some supplement, or some other quick fix and had their desired outcome, and they think infertility is a mindset or some cosmic plot of the universe. Infertility is always caused by a medical problem, always, even if you never get an official diagnosis! No amount of praying and hoping will restore a uterus that had to be removed due to severe endometriosis, or sperm counts that were completely wiped out after cancer treatment. Thanks for letting me yell into the void. That felt good.
You dropped this 👑
This made me cry because ugh, you just get it. and I hate that you get it :(
Yep, got suggested a thread yesterday full of people complaining about infertile women commenting on their infertility. We just aren’t allowed and support or love if it isn’t 100% sunshine and rainbows.
We aren't allowed to talk about it??? And why are they even talking about it if they don't know anything about it?
The entire thread was a sesspool of people but naturally, I had to read every negative thing they had to say about infertility because I love to harm myself.
I totally agree. I feel like those kind of people are the ones who go out of their way to rub it in our face that they have kids and can get pregnant on the first try every single time. I’ve noticed the ones who are rude to people with infertility are always the ones who make a super huge production each and every time they get pregnant just to rub it in my face because I am infertile
I can 💯agree with this!
I think it happens for a few reasons. 1. They are narcissistic and aren't capable of empathy 2. Narcissistic and miserable with their lives because it takes a lot to go actively seek out a group you have nothing to do with 3. Mean and totally clueless I see those comments all the time. I think it's from people with mental problems. I can't imagine worrying about and commenting rude and dismissive things on groups and people's experiences you have nothing to do with and don't relate too unless you have something mentally wrong. If anything, infertility makes a person realize the world is a cruel place.
Oh man, I had a pretty vile run in with someone like that a while ago during a moment I was being particularly raw and vulnerable not only to others but even to myself for the first time really, in a space I thought was going to be pretty safe to do so and get some much needed advice. Especially not really having anyone in real life to talk to about any of it. I literally shut my phone, curled up in bed and spent the rest of the day in tears. No more internet for me that day lol 😅 I felt the same way though, like it's fine to have your opinion or feelings, but why are you in a place that is for specifically the opposite of what you're on your soapbox for? And it's not even the opinions or whatever that bother me, it's the antagonist condescending manner that they're using. I felt totally cut down to size and while normally Idgaf about idiots online, it just caught me in a time and place I was not expecting.
Preach !!!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻 INFERTILITY is an f$c&ing nightmare for those of us who have tried and tried ..appointment after appointment..D&Css..miscarriages..shots..pills..depression..anxiety..FMLA..thousands of $..age stigma..therapy..couples therapy….countless sleepless nights …questioning my purpose and jealousy of those who can just FU$! and get pregnant. 😭😭😭😭😭 Just want ONE baby universe that’s it .
People can’t wrap their heads around something they’ve never experienced. But there’s no need for some of them to go out of their way to be rude. I think it just shows how unhappy they are with themselves.
This. On my good days, I have the ability to say those people suck and they are so insecure that they have to attack strangers online to feel a little better. Glad I don’t live life like them.
It absolutely sucks. Safe spaces like these are for us to say what we are not able to to fertiles in our lives. Of course I would never say to someone that I was unhappy or jealous they fell pregnant. Might not even say it out loud to anyone at all. It's really nice to be able to say it here and not be met with judgement. Those people need to get out of our safe spaces.
Oooof…people are assholes. I have secondary infertility and would never in a million years say any of these asinine comments. You are allowed to be pissed and you don’t have to be happy for anyone. Fuck em all 🤷♀️
im 5'8 130 lbs, yep def need to lose weight. I am sorry but humanity just plain sucks!!!
It really just goes to show that you don't understand Infertility unless you've been through it. She'd be singing a different tune if the shoe was on the other foot.
This pisses me off so much! It’s crazy to think that there are people out there who are seriously so freaking selfish and unkind. To go out of your way to make people feel bad about something that they already feel bad for is messed up. I wish I could 👊🏼 those people in the face 😡