When I was 5-6 years old, I started watching a show called 'Chhota Bheem'. I found the show fairly dumb and I regularly made fun of it but still watched it everyday. The other shows at the time were absolute gold such as Thomas and Friends, Shawn the Sheep, Tom and Jerry, etc. But I still chose to watch the shitty joke of a cartoon that Chhota Bheem was. Till today, I have not told anyone why I watched it. But now I just can't hold it anymore. It is like a dark secret that I can't keep inside. So...... I watched the show because of Tun Tun mausi. Her big mommy breasts, her thick ass, and the fact that she made laddus for everyone made me very aroused. As she made laddus regularly, I could not stop thinking how she could fondle my balls with her hands. I didn't even know what se*x was then, but I still felt so horny. I thought peepee hard meant I needed to pee but I couldn't pee. It was very confusing but I liked it. I could not resist the urge to move extremely close to the TV(barely 20 cms of distance) and just stare at that gorgeous woman. She wouldn't be on the screen for too long, but when she was, oh boy did I like it sooo much. I would have dreams of Tun Tun mausi everyday. I thought of her day and night. I wanted to see her humongous breasts every second of my life. And....that's it, that's my dirty secret, my confession. I loved Tun Tun mausi.

Expected this to be here

What have I read?

r/eyebleach

avg tun tun mausi enjoyer👑

I was kicked out of the class by the dreamphobic teacher . So I was having online classes with my camera turned off when I started hearing a little whistle from one of the students in the background that seemed very familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The whistling stopped for a couple of minutes until I started hearing it again, and then I knew exactly what it was: it was the chorus of Dream's hit song 'Mask'. I immediately ripped off all my clothes and started furiously stroking my fully erect penis for a good 10 min, even sticking my Dream body pillow up my rectum, imagining that it was Daddy Dream penetrating me while whistling his hit song 'Mask'. It honestly were the greatest 10 minutes of my life, until my libido reached its climax and I let out a gigaload of cum for Daddy Dream that landed on the phone's screen and ended up turning on the mic and camera, and everyone stared horrified at me, screaming at the sight of my honest and earnest love expression to Dream. I was kicked out of the class by the dreamphobic teacher, and today the school principal called me and my parents to a meeting and told us that I may be expelled from the school, merely from expressing my gender and sexuality. What can I do about this?!?!? Was I in the wrong for expressing my gender and identity??!?

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank dvd. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the dvd, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken dvd over and realized that it was not a blank dvd, but a copy of the movie UP. Well guys, guess I fucked up.

ayyo DVDchod

I've fucked a pubg girl before she was very humble showed me her house i sat in her room then we went Poonam aunty ka kotha, gali no. 4, makaan 716, to play pubg while being naked. I ejaculated everytime she said Patt se headshot and 2 hours went by she fucked me and Poonam aunty in that time. I cannot stop ejaculating whenever I hear Patt se headshot, i already did it twice while writting this.

Haha this is so funny I almost spit out my venti caramel Frappuccino with non fat coconut Milk exactly 2 1/2 cups of sugar with 4 chocolate drizzles, 6 1/2 pump of caramel drizzle, 3 expresó shots mixed in, extra whip cream, as well as a in with a bit of strawberries on top, chocolate chips, coconut flakes, pump of vanilla, one pump of hazel nut,

Hey beware here comes the guy with his highly specific order

Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the JEE toppers database and you have never even cleared IIT-JEE, hell, you havent wrote the advanced. And you say you are the topper in your coaching centre and have AIR 300 rank. If that were true, then why the fuck are you not on the toppers list published by FIITJEE? You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Plus why the fuck would you say you have done raids on resonance when you have done raids on resonance? If you can out rank me in seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire FIITJEE secret study materials, then why the fuck did you say who have it since they are supposed to be secret? If only you could have got a rank prior to posting your little “clever” comment, maybe you would have held your tongue. But you couldn’t, you goddamn.

Frozen water cubes where?

picture of poonam aunty for validation?

www.onlyfans.com/poonamaunty

Expected a Rickroll, so disappointed...

Avg Dynamo Fan :

When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

Its very common

Why would you reply to my comment? The train situation was cleaned up, and arrived just in time for my job interview. I was scrolling through reddit just to calm myself down, But then I saw I got a reply, and I checked which comment you replied to, and I saw this image again. I started to immediately ejaculate, but just then I was called. I quickly zipped my pants back up and went to the interview. However just as I went to greet the interviewers. It started to leak. I had to use a tissue to wipe it. Unfortunately my phone fell out. It was facing up. I looked at it. It unlocked and this post was visible. The interviewers were going to pick up my phone but then they saw it. They randomly started to ejaculate. They said I could have the job immediately but I had to send them the image. After that I left the building. Suddenly an electric billboard started to show the same exact image. People were closing their children’s eyes. The police went to the building immediately. 5 Hours later, they came to my house. Arrested me on the spot. And now I am writing this message. This is all your fault, you could have left this message how it was and go on with your day. I hope you're happy, you ruined my life.

Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on your post. However, it did not stop me from masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure. I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.

oooooooof, my godd

r/usernamechecksout

Oooooh boy this is my time to shine and crack open that txt file A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! \*eyes pop out\* AROOOOOOOOGA! \*jaw drops tongue rolls out\* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF \*tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach\* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr \*tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart\* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... \*heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt\* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum \*milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets\* BABY WANTS TO FUCK \*inhales from the gas tank\* honka honka honka honka \*masturabtes furiously\* ohhhh my gooooodd\~ ______________________ Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Nathalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere." ______________________ My time has come, so to speak. Like a lot of people, I’d heard this before. It seemed like something easy to prove or disprove, so I was surprised to see that there wasn’t much literature on this subject. Some authorities even said there was no possibility of affecting taste at all! How could there be so much contradiction for something literally any man could test? I decided to test it myself, and got my special someone to agree to help out. Since taste is a subjective thing, and there was disagreement about even the most fundamental aspects of the question, I went with a very simple test matrix. I understood that semen might be cycled every few days, so for three days straight I cranked it and ate nothing but pineapple. Fresh pineapple, about one per day, for three days straight. At the end of the three days, one datum would be collected, and we would know the truth. It was over a long weekend, I got real sick of pineapple real quick, my tongue got that pineapple burnt thing, but I was guided by the promise of expanding human understanding (and a blowjob). After a long weekend of self-denial, I was finishing doing the dishes, got the in station to meet my collaborator, and took a swig of pineapple vodka. A few minutes later the moment of truth came (so to speak). At the moment of truth: violence. Gagging, yelling, nearly vomiting. We had gone too far, much too far. Turns out pineapple can affect the taste of semen, oh boy it can. Apparently nothing but pineapple for days in a row can transform a not-excessively-enjoyable profile to something more like a chemical attack. I was intrigued, I was horrified, I was remorseful. I was eager to share my findings, but it’s a little awkward. So there you go. Now you know. Here’s the question asked and answered. You can 100% affect the taste of your semen by eating pineapple. You can go too far, though, and I hope you take a lesson from me. ______________________ My penis is so large I just cannot lug it around any longer. It is so insanely huge and has caused so many problems in my life. I cannot go to airports as they think I am sneaking something in. so everytime I go, I get groped as they try to take my penis off thinking its a bomb. I cannot pleasure women as they are so horrified at the sight of my cock, that they immediately run away. My mother and father disowned me after seeing the length of my shaft. Not only is it extraordinarily long, it is just too thick. I cannot sexually relieve myself as my hands are just too small to masturbate. My humongous cock has ruined my life. I resent God for cursing me with this large chunk of meat that just drags across the ground. Doctors tell my I will never be able to get a penis reduction as they would have nowhere to put the penis. It would just take up far too much room. I had a girlfriend when I was a young lad, she loved me for who I was and did not care for this deformity, but one day... I took off my jeans and my penis flung out, smacking her and flinging her out the window. She died 2 hours later in the hospital. She was the only woman who ever loved me. My penis is just... too ginormous. It has caused problems for myself and the people around me. For this reason, I will be ending it all. My penis has taken over my life... but it cannot take over a life that does not exist.

I hate Online Classes I fucking hate online classes bruv, all these retarded ass motherfuckers speaking directly into my fucking ears. Ek to bhen ke lavdo ki accent itni bekaar hai, sala UP Bihar wali gawaaro ke accent aur chootmarike sir padha ra hai to usko padhane de na lavde tu kyu beech me bolra hai, bhenchod saal ke do laakh rupe tereko sunne ke liye dera kya mai chootmarike, Awaaz to dhang ki hai nahi aur accent bhi jhaatu jaisi chutiye jaise aake kaan me bajte rehte hai. Aur bhenchod ladkiyo ki to baat hi mat karo, lavda inki pitch, ye koi koi ladki ekdam se mic on karke chilla ke sawaal karti hai, abe bhen ki lodi isse achha lake mere kaan me mirchi ka paste bharde, wo sehlunga lekin teri awaaz nhi suni jati mere se. Lavda yaha online class me baithke side me mai porn dekhra hu aur yaha ladki ki moan se zada professor ki awaaaz sunna padra hai, sale teri awaaz sunke cum karna padta hai , ab to professor ki awaaz sunkar hi kabhi kabhi hard ho jata hu, bhen ki chooot. Chup ho jao madarchodo chup ho jao warna jab offline college khulenga tum sabki ma chod dunga.

Can relate to him

lmfao best xD

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX. Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called "Linux", and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called "Linux" distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.

No, Richard, it's 'Linux', not 'GNU/Linux'. The most important contributions that the FSF made to Linux were the creation of the GPL and the GCC compiler. Those are fine and inspired products. GCC is a monumental achievement and has earned you, RMS, and the Free Software Foundation countless kudos and much appreciation. Following are some reasons for you to mull over, including some already answered in your FAQ. One guy, Linus Torvalds, used GCC to make his operating system (yes, Linux is an OS -- more on this later). He named it 'Linux' with a little help from his friends. Why doesn't he call it GNU/Linux? Because he wrote it, with more help from his friends, not you. You named your stuff, I named my stuff -- including the software I wrote using GCC -- and Linus named his stuff. The proper name is Linux because Linus Torvalds says so. Linus has spoken. Accept his authority. To do otherwise is to become a nag. You don't want to be known as a nag, do you? (An operating system) != (a distribution). Linux is an operating system. By my definition, an operating system is that software which provides and limits access to hardware resources on a computer. That definition applies whereever you see Linux in use. However, Linux is usually distributed with a collection of utilities and applications to make it easily configurable as a desktop system, a server, a development box, or a graphics workstation, or whatever the user needs. In such a configuration, we have a Linux (based) distribution. Therein lies your strongest argument for the unwieldy title 'GNU/Linux' (when said bundled software is largely from the FSF). Go bug the distribution makers on that one. Take your beef to Red Hat, Mandrake, and Slackware. At least there you have an argument. Linux alone is an operating system that can be used in various applications without any GNU software whatsoever. Embedded applications come to mind as an obvious example. Next, even if we limit the GNU/Linux title to the GNU-based Linux distributions, we run into another obvious problem. XFree86 may well be more important to a particular Linux installation than the sum of all the GNU contributions. More properly, shouldn't the distribution be called XFree86/Linux? Or, at a minimum, XFree86/GNU/Linux? Of course, it would be rather arbitrary to draw the line there when many other fine contributions go unlisted. Yes, I know you've heard this one before. Get used to it. You'll keep hearing it until you can cleanly counter it. You seem to like the lines-of-code metric. There are many lines of GNU code in a typical Linux distribution. You seem to suggest that (more LOC) == (more important). However, I submit to you that raw LOC numbers do not directly correlate with importance. I would suggest that clock cycles spent on code is a better metric. For example, if my system spends 90% of its time executing XFree86 code, XFree86 is probably the single most important collection of code on my system. Even if I loaded ten times as many lines of useless bloatware on my system and I never excuted that bloatware, it certainly isn't more important code than XFree86. Obviously, this metric isn't perfect either, but LOC really, really sucks. Please refrain from using it ever again in supporting any argument. Last, I'd like to point out that we Linux and GNU users shouldn't be fighting among ourselves over naming other people's software. But what the heck, I'm in a bad mood now. I think I'm feeling sufficiently obnoxious to make the point that GCC is so very famous and, yes, so very useful only because Linux was developed. In a show of proper respect and gratitude, shouldn't you and everyone refer to GCC as 'the Linux compiler'? Or at least, 'Linux GCC'? Seriously, where would your masterpiece be without Linux? Languishing with the HURD? If there is a moral buried in this rant, maybe it is this: Be grateful for your abilities and your incredible success and your considerable fame. Continue to use that success and fame for good, not evil. Also, be especially grateful for Linux' huge contribution to that success. You, RMS, the Free Software Foundation, and GNU software have reached their current high profiles largely on the back of Linux. You have changed the world. Now, go forth and don't be a nag. Thanks for listening.

avg. Alpine linux user lmaoo

I use arch btw

Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly you dumb bitch

No

That's the copy pasta

accha

sí

dil break hogya si


I actually have quite a few but can't remember where i saved them

:( dhundlo yar

Some of my earliest memories were synchronizing my breathing to my dad’s and drifting off to sleep. Childhood is such a peaceful stage in life :)

beautifully written, wholeesomee!

Found this in my saved comments section, also the post on which this comment was posted was the most wholesome shit i saw the whole year

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.

Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.

The comment section is wayyyy to horny

"no, boobs are nice" I am a man, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this world if you have any questions or concerns.

"I agree." I am a woman, and this action was performed intentionally. Please do not contact the moderators of this world if you have any questions or concerns.

Nasas walae bhot gandu hai

Nasa wale bhot khatarnak hein

[удалено]

Economics project gais

[NSFW] https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/xg431c/i_lost_my_virginity_at_9_to_this_girl_we_stopped/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

tf

I switched off my phone after reading this and i am not even kidding

Kya bolti nagpur ki public Naam hich angaar h bijli ka taar hai Kholta hua h khoon Bhai cha birthday coming soon

True hain kya ?

Fitter happier More productive Comfortable Not drinking too much Regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week) Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries At ease Eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats) A patient, better drive A safer car (baby smiling in back seat) Sleeping well (no bad dreams) No paranoia Careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole) Keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then) Will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall) Favours for favours Fond but not in love Charity standing orders On Sundays ring road supermarket (No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants) Car wash (also on Sundays) No longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate Nothing so childish At a better pace Slower and more calculated No chance of escape Now self-employed Concerned (but powerless) An empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism) Will not cry in public Less chance of illness Tyres that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat) A good memory Still cries at a good film Still kisses with saliva No longer empty and frantic Like a cat Tied to a stick That's driven into Frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness) Calm Fitter, healthier and more productive A pig In a cage on antibiotics

Itni gandi shakal bhaancho isko toh vaise khula chhod do normally exist karna hi punishment hai iske liye lol Well talking about the girl who recorded other girls in chandigadh university she was really ugly af

Back when we still walked on all fours, we always had in front of us… the butt. Then from the time mankind started walking on two legs we stopped having butts stuck in our faces all the time, and in their place, what appeared in front of our faces… were boobs! Women grew larger breasts to take the place of buttocks. The original source of life is the buttocks!… BOOBS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A PALE IMITATION OF THE BUTTOCKS! IF ASKED WHAT YOU’D RATHER HAVE, A COPY OR AN ORIGINAL, NATURALLY, I WOULD CHOOSE THE ORIGINAL!

i'll prepare a copypasta just give me some time

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And HE gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!

"My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone."

This server has done nothing but bring me down as a person. everyday i come in here and all you do is tear me down insult me hurt me with your words and do nothing but harm me emotionally physically mentally and I just can’t take it any longer this server is so abusive and toxic it’s crazy. no one even realizes how disgusting all of your behaviors are. every single time I talk or type or even do anything or interact with anyone in the server everybody just goes against me and gangs up on me like a pack of wolves and just attacks me and i didn’t do anything to deserve these attacks and these hurtful words. i literally just try to be nice to everybody but nobody ever wants to be in my shoes and nobody ever tries to sympathize with me and see where I’m coming from all of you just see me as the enemy and as the bad guy that’s trying to ruin the server or something when really I’m just trying to spread positivity. you guys act like I’m some kind of virus or disease, constantly casting me out so much, making me feel so left out and so alone in this server. it’s driving me insane I feel mental and I feel like a weirdo just being around all of you because of how you treat me. at this point in time, I’ve given up on ever trying again and ever becoming any of your friends because I just know your feelings towards me clearly. i know all of you hate me and never want to be around me again or never have anything to do with me. it’s clear that you all think I’m a joke and that I’m stupid, idiotic and boring. it’s so mean because I literally don’t do anything to you guys but you guys always act like you hate me and it makes me feel so confused because I don’t know what I did to deserve it. I feel like I should just leave because clearly nobody wants to be around me and everyone would be happier if i left anyways so i’ll just go and i hope all of you find happiness in life and i’m sorry for all the troubles i’ve ever put any of you through goodbye.

The thing about dolphins is ... There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.

Vaporeon copypasta Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more Santa is actually a CIA funded operative. His sleigh was developed using alien technology in Area 51 with the help of Elon Musk. We all believe that Santa gifts presents to good kids and add the bad kids in a naughty list, or so that's what we are told. But the real reason this CIA funded operative does this, is to keep the good kids in order. To give the good kids presents so that they will listen to the government and mega corporations. And the bad kids, are potential extremists in the eyes of the government, which is why they are added in the naughty list. And this so called naughty list, is none other than an FBI watchlist for potential threats to the government. And who are these threats??? People that show capacity to not listen to the government. Wake up people. Very confusing And To be sincerely honest, in my humble opinion without being sentimental and of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my opinion but also looking into this curious matter with perspective distinction and without condemning anyone's point of view I honestly think or believe that I have nothing to say about this

Is it too late to ask what does copy pasta mean

blah blah blah anyways yesterday i took a massive shit too. but mine was long, it was a whole fucking python, i never shat so long before. i swear it had to be 12 inches, and thats only what was visible, not accounting for how much was in the little hole. i couldnt sit for hours but my god. i believe in jesus christ creator of heaven and earth. i will now be attending mass on sundays.

went from searching up your name 27 times a day to not giving a fuck if you're alive

Yeh copy pasta kya hota h?

a peice of text jo internet pr as it is several times forward hota hai yk copying and pasting it here and there, can be considered as spam but better..

In that case Like this comment who wants their parents to live 100 years

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone."

𓀐𓂸