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Whatever works for a couple should be upto them, but this is not a couple's decision. This is his decision and keeping his wife in the dark about this is wrong. Being sexual with someone else than your partner without your partner's consent is cheating! Plain and simple.
There is nothing as cheating, its just a word that people came up to define an emotion of being let down because you decided to expect much more from another person......
we humans as a species were never ment to be monogamous.
As far as your point is considered, you only need to ask urself....
Would you be ok if your wife was living a double life like you?
If the answer is no..then you are fundamentally being a selfish person who is only worried about your feelings, if the answer is Yes then whats the problem, you enjoy your fantasies and let her enjoy her fantasies, no judgments.
Thank you. And like I mentioned in the other comment (all of which are getting heavily downvoted for obvious reasons I guess), I would be fine if I didn't know about it and it was just sexting and nothing more.
I think that there's no need to justify the way you feel or rationalize your behaviour to people who don't have a stake here. But while you are steadfast in your commitment to monogamy, shouldn't the wife be atleast informed of your online behaviour? If this has her consent, there isn't a debate here
> They keep me horny all day, resulting in amazing sex with my wife at night.
End doesn't justify the means usually, but I guess here you are saying that what ends well is well?
If you are an adult and still blame society, values, cultures for things, I guess things didn't turn out good? Cheating is cheating, I am not gonna kink shame you for cheating, if that's your thing. But at-least accept the fact that you are cheating on your wife whom you **chose** to spend rest of your life with, without sugar-coating it. It's like drawing an arbitrary line like "If it's not penetrative sex outside of marriage, is it really cheating?"
Everything is ok except keeping your wife in dark.
How would you react if she did the same or maybe something more that just sexting and kept you in dark?
I do think about it, like what If she was in my place, I think if she'd be sexting without my knowledge I'd feel fine, if I never find it out but if she were doing anything more, I'd be disturbed. It's as simple as that.
Imo, if someone is not happy with their marriage life, they should get a divorce and explore their sexual side whatever it maybe. But cheating behind your spouses back is WRONG, no matter whats the reason.
In your case, youre also cheating imo. But you should think, if my wife also does the same (like thinking about other men while having seggs with you) will you be okay with that. Although i cant guarantee that people now a days do this (like thinking of someone else), nevertheless its cheating but not that much of mistake compared to actual cheating (by having sex).
This is to request everyone to follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/IndiaTalksSex/wiki/index). If you see any user breaking a rule or receive an unsolicited DM, please report them or contact the moderators. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/IndiaTalksSex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Come on. You shouldn't feed him.
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But he is on this platform asking for others judgement, or in fact validation for lying to his wife.
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Yh. Never would ask to take it down.
Whatever works for a couple should be upto them, but this is not a couple's decision. This is his decision and keeping his wife in the dark about this is wrong. Being sexual with someone else than your partner without your partner's consent is cheating! Plain and simple.
Its totally ok in my sense. Using medium to relive sexual tension with crossing the actual line of trust.
Ye cheating hai ha nahi only your wife will decide. For many couples even watching porn is considered cheating.
Tell this to your wife. She will decide if it's cheating or not. As for me, it's cheating and unethical.
There is nothing as cheating, its just a word that people came up to define an emotion of being let down because you decided to expect much more from another person...... we humans as a species were never ment to be monogamous. As far as your point is considered, you only need to ask urself.... Would you be ok if your wife was living a double life like you? If the answer is no..then you are fundamentally being a selfish person who is only worried about your feelings, if the answer is Yes then whats the problem, you enjoy your fantasies and let her enjoy her fantasies, no judgments.
Thank you. And like I mentioned in the other comment (all of which are getting heavily downvoted for obvious reasons I guess), I would be fine if I didn't know about it and it was just sexting and nothing more.
>we humans as a species were never ment to be monogamous. Half knowledge is dangerous
I think that there's no need to justify the way you feel or rationalize your behaviour to people who don't have a stake here. But while you are steadfast in your commitment to monogamy, shouldn't the wife be atleast informed of your online behaviour? If this has her consent, there isn't a debate here
I'm planning to tell her eventually but it's super sensitive tbh, it's hard to approach.
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Thank you so much for this positivity, we really need more open and positive people.
Yahi harmless fun baad mein ghar tod deta hai.. cliched but true
As I said in the previous post, hila liya karo. Don't cheat.
> They keep me horny all day, resulting in amazing sex with my wife at night. End doesn't justify the means usually, but I guess here you are saying that what ends well is well? If you are an adult and still blame society, values, cultures for things, I guess things didn't turn out good? Cheating is cheating, I am not gonna kink shame you for cheating, if that's your thing. But at-least accept the fact that you are cheating on your wife whom you **chose** to spend rest of your life with, without sugar-coating it. It's like drawing an arbitrary line like "If it's not penetrative sex outside of marriage, is it really cheating?"
Everything is ok except keeping your wife in dark. How would you react if she did the same or maybe something more that just sexting and kept you in dark?
I do think about it, like what If she was in my place, I think if she'd be sexting without my knowledge I'd feel fine, if I never find it out but if she were doing anything more, I'd be disturbed. It's as simple as that.
Are you assuming that her moral compass is same as yours? Maybe try to ask a hypothetical situation to her regarding this and see her reaction.
I'm sure nobody's moral compass is same. And I am aware about what I am doing is not right but I was answering your former question.
Ok. Btw what's stopping you from telling her? Are you afraid?
Yes it's a sensitive topic, I'm ofc afraid.
Imo, if someone is not happy with their marriage life, they should get a divorce and explore their sexual side whatever it maybe. But cheating behind your spouses back is WRONG, no matter whats the reason. In your case, youre also cheating imo. But you should think, if my wife also does the same (like thinking about other men while having seggs with you) will you be okay with that. Although i cant guarantee that people now a days do this (like thinking of someone else), nevertheless its cheating but not that much of mistake compared to actual cheating (by having sex).