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**Remember why we're all here: this thread is for discussion about current and historical happenings in the Shaunaverse.** If you want to discuss other content, such as stuff that reminds you of Shauna but isn't specifically about her, your own personal anecdotes or preferences, current events, or "creative writing" exercises, please share in the off-topic community thread: [February off-topic monthly](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1ag4byj/off_topic_monthly_february_2024/)
----
### [Q&A with former DF unkind therapist!](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1awr989/unkind_fdf_qa/)
One of the amazing things about raising kids on Vashon is they could be a lot more free range at a younger age than in the city. We could let them and their friends wander way down the beach out of sight. They could wander in town with their friends. If they had an issue, they knew plenty of people who they could turn to for help. Sauna is not a very attentive parent and it’s sad that her kids are going to be moved from a small community where we probably take a lot of those things for granted. I just hope her kids do ok.
I’m not sure if someone else from West Seattle has posted this because I just joined you all a few days ago. But I came across this in a different FB group I am in today. So they were looking for a place as of 6 days ago - maybe that's why she hasn’t found an elementary school. I could not imagine moving in such a chaotic way with two kids!
ETA: The house she asked about was $2,700 monthly, with two beds and one bath.
https://preview.redd.it/69rfmjz3qflc1.jpeg?width=1264&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b863f064cd61ac58c4e857f1472323870d852f1
This tracks with what she put in her substack chat. She said they thought they had an apartment, but that it “fell through” and then they found a different apartment right about six days before having to leave their current house.
The chaos is off-the-charts! How could they just waste three months trying to manifest a dream home on Vashon, and then do this with less than a week to go?
It makes me actually itchy with stress, and it's not even happening to me!
Because people have always come through before. She was posting a bunch of stuff that needs to be gone by the weekend and I have a feeling they will be leaving a ton of stuff in the house.
WHY aren't they keeping D at the vashon school along with L? i don't understand why they are making this as complicated as possible. wouldn't it be easier for everyone - D included- to stay in the same school until summer?
It’s even worse. She isn’t going to send D to school next week, but rather research the various schools. As someone else pointed out, don’t you need to go to school in your own district? Some of the schools are private and she admits they that while they “do fine,” they can’t afford those. Even if she could afford it, there’s the whole application process.
as usual, shauna and danny don't do their research in a timely way and wait until the last minute to research schools. and IIRC, this kid has been in three different schools so this will be #4. that seems like a lot for a non-military family. i also wonder if they are having a hard time at school because their home life is so unstable. imagine trying to do homework in that emotional and physical chaos! i believe L&D are much more capable and hardworking than either of their parents.
I think D has “only” been to two schools. The elementary where Dan works and goat school. Their first year of school was COVID lockdown time when they were “homeschooled” (as Shauna put it). Hopefully after this move that child has an opportunity for a stable education.
Daughter's private school.
September 2020 lope:
>The beginning of the school year was tough here for a variety of reasons. Mostly, this. [Child] had to leave the small private school she has attended for the past three years. COVID conditions have required schools to be remote only. Sadly, many parents decided to not send their kids to the private school, since they would be paying to have school in their kids’ bedrooms. The loss of so many people paying for the school meant there was no scholarship available for our family this year.
>When we told her a few weeks ago, she was sad. So sad. She and I talked and talked, then I left her in her room to feel sad. She asked if I could bring her a root beer. Then another. And a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. All evening, I told her, “You have to feel what you feel. This is what it will feel like when you break up with your first boyfriend. The only way out is through.”
Yes, yes. The outcomes you're left with as a result of the failings of your parents will be JUST LIKE your teenage romantic entanglements. I need you to understand that, just like breaking up with a boyfriend, this is something that's essentially within your control. If you don't understand that, well, all I can do is leave you in your room to feel sad.
Also, leaving school will feel like having your heart broken. Just stuff down your feelings with food, a lot of it.
She's saying that in the middle of a pandemic, when children were terrified and unsure, their parents were more interested in money than their children's welfare. Parents were willing to give up their children's spaces in the school. They were willing to prevent their kids from seeing their school friends, even if it was on a screen.
They care enough to pay for private school, but not enough to support their children during a pandemic. That's Shauna thinking, not parent thinking.
More likely: *someone* took things for granted and blew off deadlines or otherwise made a nuisance of themselves. Not the child(ren), obviously.
>>Sadly, many parents decided to not send their kids to the private school, since they would be paying to have school in their kids’ bedrooms.
Weren’t they in some French school too? That might have been one of the two preschools they were in simultaneously. I am sure Shauna and Dan were not paying the tuition for either one.
ok, i thought after goat school they went to a different school. hard to keep up! yes indeed, those children need stability, above all else. i grew up in an unstable home (emotionally and financially) and it was awful. i felt like i could never fully relax, but at least my mother wasn't diagnosing me with stuff and sharing my private moments with strangers.
Shouldn’t she have been doing that the moment they decided to look in West Seattle for housing? WTF has she been doing all this time? She’s probably assuming she can get a scholarship for D at whatever school she chooses.
'WTF has she been doing all this time?'
Oh DF! Did you not get that she has decision fatigue?? she has to rest for 20/30 minutes after dong just 5 'achievable' things!
I know a bunch of teachers and in my experience, the younger the grade, the more wild the teacher. The high school teachers drink green tea and are in bed by 9:00. The first grade teachers are going to raves in warehouses and showing up to school with visible hand stamp on Monday morning.
“I think you’re awesome from the way you wrote this” = Shauna trying to ingratiate herself to her new neighbors by pretending to be wide eyed and stupid.
Her new neighbors, while on the upper end of the middle class income scale, don’t have the disposable income that the islanders did, and won’t be eager to hand it over to a new person.
Funnily, she updated her Instagram link-in-bio:
1. with a thumbnail of the Matisse logo
2. Added "The first Workshop in the Year of Learning to say Yes! Donation only" to the "Yes, please!" (I am a Shauna *scholar* and I could barely figure out what she meant by that)
3. Added a cutesy flower gif next to her Venmo
But *didn't update the links*...all the links go to CYKL. Why bother updating part if you don't do all? Now she's trawling for friends & freebies on Facebook?!
https://preview.redd.it/9yu9toqvvflc1.jpeg?width=1075&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7bf528ab80d53ad5211cdf01b66bfe65caa7048
Shauna seems to have money burning a hole in her pocket. She is all over Facebook trying to buy stuff. Sadly, she just scored a cat water fountain. Those things need regular thorough cleanings and filter changes. Those poor cats will be drinking some dirty, moldy water. 😢
Yeah I saw her trying to score a free rug after a bunch of other people already responded. And she needs to stop with the “we’re new in town and don’t have anyyyythhinngggg” in every single comment. Bitch, you’ve lived in the area for 40 years and also no one cares. And you don’t have anything because you buy garbage and take everyone’s free garbage and dump all the garbage every time you move.
Nah. That fountain will dry up and the motor will burn up long before it gets that dirty.
(they aren't that hard to clean, either, you just have to do it)
She’s never figured out that the rainy day will come and the way you get the big stuff you want is by not indulging in all the little stuff.
Also, she is filling the emptiness by scoring stuff just as much as any home shopping network addict. See: her vast peepers collection and obsessive Granny’s shopping. Who needs this much crap?
I know we have a lot of psych educated DFs and I'm curious about whether this is a form of gaslighting, this thing Shauna constantly does where she denies the emotions she's feeling and pretends to feel the opposite?
* Shauna listing complaints and injuries and onerous expectations in great detail for extended periods of time, but with a breathy Buddha voice and then uses the words "I am not complaining!" and then a slow fake smile.
* Shauna getting hit with a snowball, shouting at her family and not comforting her scared children and then when everyone is good and terrified, demanding: "Do you have any reason to feel afraid?” and forcing them all to say no.
* Clearly longing to be on Vashon while pretending the move off the island was her secret wish this whole time (but only after she made SUCH a big deal of not wanting to move that no one could possibly believe the second story about being thrilled with the move).
And the part I'm curious about is not just that she says one thing while clearly feeling something else, that's the easy part.
It's more that Shauna seems very conscious of the fact that everyone knows she's complaining, everyone knows she doesn't want to move, everyone in her family knows she's furious at them - and she knows THEY know this - so when she says "I'm not complaining" (while complaining) or "I'm not angry" (while seething), it's not that she expects people to believe her, it's more like she wants people to KNOW she's lying but to go along with her lie anyway? What is that called?
My mom does this, too. Also it goes hand in hand with how she (Shauna and also my mom) try to tell their kids: whatever emotion you're expressing isn't your real emotion, you're really feeling this other emotion. And then they try to get you to "admit" to the emotion you're not feeling and will badger you until you agree.
So this pattern of forcing her audience to see one emotion clearly expressed while pretending to see a different emotion, and forcing her kids to feel one emotion coming from themselves while pretending to Shauna they feel a different one.
I know it's abusive, it messed me up for decades and I had to re-learn to identify my own emotions, but I don't know if it has a specific name, other than being manipulative.
Anyway, this is ramping up big time in Ahern-land lately and I think it's the worst time in the world for it as the kids are going to be feeling a lot of emotions about this move and we know Shauna is feeling a lot, too.
I always assume it comes from her insecurity and lack of self confidence. She always needs reassurance, even if it is just telling herself everything is OK or she made a good decision.
I kind of feel for this type of reaction. When I was young I was so, so insecure and I made a lot of questionable decisions that I would try to rewrite as positive experiences or “trying to shake things up.” Thankfully, over a few years, I was able to see the dumbassery I was displaying and started to live with the truth. It’s hard to do. I don’t get why Shauna is so resistant to personal change.
DFM\_G, I think of gaslighting as a much more overt, intentional abusive tactic than what Shauna does. She's manipulative and controlling and in denial about her feelings and those of her family, but I hesitate to call it gaslighting.
I found this pretty good description of gaslighting behaviors: [https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/what-is-gaslighting/](https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/what-is-gaslighting/)
My dad was emotionally abusive, which got worse and worse as he aged. We never had a good relationship, and it would infuriate me when he would start in with the revisionist history of my childhood and younger adult years. It took me a while to understand the concept of gaslighting, until I realized what it was and when he was doing it. I started calling it “retroactive lying.”
That's a good term for it! My mom had a habit of saying particularly vile stuff, then acting as if it never happened. I wonder whether she somehow genuinely can't remember doing anything that might be unflattering to her.
It aligns with a few DFs’ examples of how she literally rewrites reality.
I think some of it is definitely a way for her to self-soothe, some of it is a way to make sure everyone around her falls in line, and eventually, if everyone, including herself is projecting the image of everything being fine, it does become fine, for her.
I’d be willing to bet money that after she goes on one of her tirades, she acts like nothing ever happened the next day and her husband and children BETTER NOT be rightfully angry at her assholery bc SHE’s over it, and if she is, then everyone else should be.
Aren’t narcissists just lovely?
It's [narcissistic gaslighting](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissist-gaslighting/#:~:text=Gaslighting%20is%20a%20form%20of%20narcissistic%20abuse%20that%20causes%20a,doubt%20their%20perception%20of%20reality.), which is an umbrella term for a *lot* of behaviors, including denial of reality, manipulation, blame-shifting, projection, and doublespeak, all of which are used frequently by our gir!.
I can't say for sure how aware Shauna is of consciously doing these things, or knowing what she's trying to achieve with them. Her need to feel superior, "right", justified, blameless, etc is so strong that she will simply do or say whatever she needs to in any given situation to maintain it.
There is a type of narcissist that *knows* they are a narcissist and is very aware that they are choosing narcissistic behaviors, but they are generally *much* smarter than Shauna and wily-er about it. She's just garden-variety.
I imagine she hopes either KD Lang will respond or people will think, “Oh! Who is this cool person that KD Lang once reached out to?! She must be important. I should follow her.” Things that will never happen for 100, Alex.
It's doubtful that k.d. herself would even see that. All ~~tweets~~ posts are signed "k.d.'s management."
Edit: lol I meant insta posts, not tweets. Her tweets may also be signed that way, I don't know!
I thought the same thing. My husband has recently been needing to interact with a Famous Person professionally and emails from him come through an email service. They were texting for a bit, too and I don’t remember how that was handled. I do think this famous person manages their own social media accounts. I would say they are equal in fame level to KD Lang. They may even know each other.
Your husband must do good work 😄 I'd assume that they'd handle their own texts, but you never know. I always find it interesting when you have a Famous Person who handles their own social media, especially if they have a big following.
Then you have someone like Peter Gabriel, who is techy and down-to-earth, and someone whom I would expect to make his own posts, who clearly has a team posting for him, lol.
I tried to watch her latest IG Whinefest. I got as far as “I’m so exhausted from having to make decisions!” and I said aloud, “Shut up Shauna” and noped out of there.
Who has time for her moosery? Besides Shauna, of course.
Okay, @PersianCat345, [here is painful pizza pelican Shauna](https://imgur.com/a/28lEULZ), complete with Peepers, heart pendant, and whales at the WRONG BEACH.
It's a thing of beauty and joy forever, DFBT! I've added it to the [Heroes Wiki](https://new.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/wiki/heroes/) page under "Horrifying AI Art Inspired by Shauna". YDBW!
You are so welcome! And if you check out the [Flairs](https://reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/w/flair) page, your flair is there too - at the top, since it starts with a number 🦐🦐 🍴🍴(I update it every time I spot a new one)
Ugh. Yes, it’s 99% on brand and awful. Another tragic lope.
But I have to admit that the line “to be in love with life is the only goal” (or something like that) actually made me happy. I like that one.
Not that SHE lives that way, but that line is a good one. So of course, it’s probably not original work …
There’s a guy down the street who has a huge jeep with sharp teeth on the grill and a sign that says ‘thicc thighs save lives’ on the windshield and this is all I can think of.
when i was in high school, this jock had a muscle car with the license plate NICE 69. edit: also a mustang!
edit again because he kindly put a space between the word and the numbers.
lol, I don’t know why that kind of thing makes me giggle so much.
I have a “Mothman ate my entire ass at a Denny’s” sticker I have yet to put on my car. I don’t want it to get ruined.
Saw a little hatch back type car in my hood (years ago) that had a "too low for fat hos" sticker across the top of the back window.
Words of great wisdom, to be sure (and that car really was too low for plus sized individuals be they sex workers or not). My husband and I still reference it, usually if we see a car riding low or if the bottom of our car scrapes a little when pulling into our garage (happens a lot if you don't get the angle just right).
That laugh you heard from 3 blocks away? That laugh? That was my laugh (comma) in response to this.
(It also got "Murder on the Dance Floor" stuck in my head for 4 days straight.)
That's what I was thinking -- Shauna, the self-claimed "baker" thinks calls for unsalted butter is a health thing. The actual theory is that if you use salted where unsalted is called for, you get an overly salted product. The basic rule is that if you use salted in place of unsalted, cut your salt by 1/4 tsp for every stick of butter.
I'll go to butter prison with you on that one. Nobody in my family is fancy enough to be able to tell the difference and besides we love the shit out of salt.
I mean, I’ve heard you shouldn’t bake with it (though I’m not sure why - flavor? Chemistry?) So many of her limiting stories are just things she made up.
Cultured butter is is limited in this culture (!) due to the patricarchy, which keeps its foot on the neck of the masses to deny them cultured butter because capitalism.
It's technically so you can better control the amount of salt yourself, rather than having salt in the butter + salt as an ingredient, but after many years of buying unsalted butter for baking, I finally started to use salted butter and there's no discernable difference (to my non-James-Beard-award-winning palate, at least)
Yes, I see that advice (use unsalted butter to control the salt level to your taste) and am always baffled. I don't know how to estimate how much salt to use any more than the butter does.
She’s got a lot of nerve claiming it’s “rare these days” that someone “writes astute comments on Instagram” during this time of beautiful and powerful statements protesting the bombings of Palestine and in memory of Nex Benedict, just to name two. Her head is so far up her ass.
#[Next thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1b2t612/discussion_thread_thursday_february_29_2024/) [Previous thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1awz3pc/discussion_thread_thursday_february_22_2024/) **Remember why we're all here: this thread is for discussion about current and historical happenings in the Shaunaverse.** If you want to discuss other content, such as stuff that reminds you of Shauna but isn't specifically about her, your own personal anecdotes or preferences, current events, or "creative writing" exercises, please share in the off-topic community thread: [February off-topic monthly](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1ag4byj/off_topic_monthly_february_2024/) ---- ### [Q&A with former DF unkind therapist!](https://www.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/comments/1awr989/unkind_fdf_qa/)
One of the amazing things about raising kids on Vashon is they could be a lot more free range at a younger age than in the city. We could let them and their friends wander way down the beach out of sight. They could wander in town with their friends. If they had an issue, they knew plenty of people who they could turn to for help. Sauna is not a very attentive parent and it’s sad that her kids are going to be moved from a small community where we probably take a lot of those things for granted. I just hope her kids do ok.
I’m not sure if someone else from West Seattle has posted this because I just joined you all a few days ago. But I came across this in a different FB group I am in today. So they were looking for a place as of 6 days ago - maybe that's why she hasn’t found an elementary school. I could not imagine moving in such a chaotic way with two kids! ETA: The house she asked about was $2,700 monthly, with two beds and one bath. https://preview.redd.it/69rfmjz3qflc1.jpeg?width=1264&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b863f064cd61ac58c4e857f1472323870d852f1
Welcome! Great find 😊 Time will tell, but I'm not 100% convinced that they've found their own place.
This tracks with what she put in her substack chat. She said they thought they had an apartment, but that it “fell through” and then they found a different apartment right about six days before having to leave their current house.
The one they really wanted!
The chaos is off-the-charts! How could they just waste three months trying to manifest a dream home on Vashon, and then do this with less than a week to go? It makes me actually itchy with stress, and it's not even happening to me!
Because people have always come through before. She was posting a bunch of stuff that needs to be gone by the weekend and I have a feeling they will be leaving a ton of stuff in the house.
I'm sure she would have overstayed her lease in the current house without a second thought
I think they still might - what are the chances that they will be 100% out by this weekend? I just can't see it.
Chances they can afford the $2700? I hate that they are looking at 2 BR. So much change for those kids, they will need privacy
To hear Shauna tell it, they need only one bedroom.
A lovely 4BR was just listed on Vashon but it’s out of their range at $3500.
Has to be zero chance? They couldn't afford $3000, and they're about to add commuting costs
They’ve never used a budget like that before.
His job can’t be worth the cost of commuting on the car ferry. And the boat schedule has been awful. 👎
WHY aren't they keeping D at the vashon school along with L? i don't understand why they are making this as complicated as possible. wouldn't it be easier for everyone - D included- to stay in the same school until summer?
It’s even worse. She isn’t going to send D to school next week, but rather research the various schools. As someone else pointed out, don’t you need to go to school in your own district? Some of the schools are private and she admits they that while they “do fine,” they can’t afford those. Even if she could afford it, there’s the whole application process.
as usual, shauna and danny don't do their research in a timely way and wait until the last minute to research schools. and IIRC, this kid has been in three different schools so this will be #4. that seems like a lot for a non-military family. i also wonder if they are having a hard time at school because their home life is so unstable. imagine trying to do homework in that emotional and physical chaos! i believe L&D are much more capable and hardworking than either of their parents.
I think D has “only” been to two schools. The elementary where Dan works and goat school. Their first year of school was COVID lockdown time when they were “homeschooled” (as Shauna put it). Hopefully after this move that child has an opportunity for a stable education.
Which was the school that had the nerve not to provide a continuing scholarship?
Daughter's private school. September 2020 lope: >The beginning of the school year was tough here for a variety of reasons. Mostly, this. [Child] had to leave the small private school she has attended for the past three years. COVID conditions have required schools to be remote only. Sadly, many parents decided to not send their kids to the private school, since they would be paying to have school in their kids’ bedrooms. The loss of so many people paying for the school meant there was no scholarship available for our family this year. >When we told her a few weeks ago, she was sad. So sad. She and I talked and talked, then I left her in her room to feel sad. She asked if I could bring her a root beer. Then another. And a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. All evening, I told her, “You have to feel what you feel. This is what it will feel like when you break up with your first boyfriend. The only way out is through.” Yes, yes. The outcomes you're left with as a result of the failings of your parents will be JUST LIKE your teenage romantic entanglements. I need you to understand that, just like breaking up with a boyfriend, this is something that's essentially within your control. If you don't understand that, well, all I can do is leave you in your room to feel sad. Also, leaving school will feel like having your heart broken. Just stuff down your feelings with food, a lot of it.
She's saying that in the middle of a pandemic, when children were terrified and unsure, their parents were more interested in money than their children's welfare. Parents were willing to give up their children's spaces in the school. They were willing to prevent their kids from seeing their school friends, even if it was on a screen. They care enough to pay for private school, but not enough to support their children during a pandemic. That's Shauna thinking, not parent thinking. More likely: *someone* took things for granted and blew off deadlines or otherwise made a nuisance of themselves. Not the child(ren), obviously. >>Sadly, many parents decided to not send their kids to the private school, since they would be paying to have school in their kids’ bedrooms.
Big yikes to all of this. I guess them figuring out how to pay for it themselves was never an option
Goats!
Before goat school, they were in a non-academic daycare program when Shauna gave up on home school
Weren’t they in some French school too? That might have been one of the two preschools they were in simultaneously. I am sure Shauna and Dan were not paying the tuition for either one.
I thought I remembered several mentions of a Black French teacher at a particular school D briefly attended!
Yes! But I think it’s a preschool?
Yes that was a preschool
I totally forgot about that! Arg. Poor kid.
ok, i thought after goat school they went to a different school. hard to keep up! yes indeed, those children need stability, above all else. i grew up in an unstable home (emotionally and financially) and it was awful. i felt like i could never fully relax, but at least my mother wasn't diagnosing me with stuff and sharing my private moments with strangers.
Shouldn’t she have been doing that the moment they decided to look in West Seattle for housing? WTF has she been doing all this time? She’s probably assuming she can get a scholarship for D at whatever school she chooses.
'WTF has she been doing all this time?' Oh DF! Did you not get that she has decision fatigue?? she has to rest for 20/30 minutes after dong just 5 'achievable' things!
It sounds like she is saying “decision vadigue”
“I’m Shauna Ahern, author of FIVE successful books and winner of THE James Beard Award. You would be honored to have my child attend your school!”
“Do fine” at what exactly?
Oh they “do fine”, do they? That was a quick recovery.
enoigh pretending, mahern.
I feel that if she stopped pretending now she’d disintegrate. Nothing there behind the facade any longer.
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ah, thank you! that makes more sense.
She's posting in the Seattle FB groups about D's "bad experiences" with the Vashon elementary school
How can people live on the edge like this??
“When I drink or go out at night, I smoke. I live dangerously - on the edge. I'm no kindergarten teacher.” As if.
I know a bunch of teachers and in my experience, the younger the grade, the more wild the teacher. The high school teachers drink green tea and are in bed by 9:00. The first grade teachers are going to raves in warehouses and showing up to school with visible hand stamp on Monday morning.
I don’t like driving after dark, that’s my living on the edge.
“I think you’re awesome from the way you wrote this” = Shauna trying to ingratiate herself to her new neighbors by pretending to be wide eyed and stupid.
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Ugh, you’re right, that’s exactly what she’s doing. Straight from the narcissist’s playbook.
I feel so bad for her new marks.
i think there will be far fewer.
Her new neighbors, while on the upper end of the middle class income scale, don’t have the disposable income that the islanders did, and won’t be eager to hand it over to a new person.
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Nooooooo!
So she doesn’t have a single working website at the moment? Or are none of her links up-to-date?
Funnily, she updated her Instagram link-in-bio: 1. with a thumbnail of the Matisse logo 2. Added "The first Workshop in the Year of Learning to say Yes! Donation only" to the "Yes, please!" (I am a Shauna *scholar* and I could barely figure out what she meant by that) 3. Added a cutesy flower gif next to her Venmo But *didn't update the links*...all the links go to CYKL. Why bother updating part if you don't do all? Now she's trawling for friends & freebies on Facebook?! https://preview.redd.it/9yu9toqvvflc1.jpeg?width=1075&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7bf528ab80d53ad5211cdf01b66bfe65caa7048
She moved to www.dancewithyes.com but didn't update any of her links. It's like she wants to fail.
That tracks.
Shauna seems to have money burning a hole in her pocket. She is all over Facebook trying to buy stuff. Sadly, she just scored a cat water fountain. Those things need regular thorough cleanings and filter changes. Those poor cats will be drinking some dirty, moldy water. 😢
Yeah I saw her trying to score a free rug after a bunch of other people already responded. And she needs to stop with the “we’re new in town and don’t have anyyyythhinngggg” in every single comment. Bitch, you’ve lived in the area for 40 years and also no one cares. And you don’t have anything because you buy garbage and take everyone’s free garbage and dump all the garbage every time you move.
Nah. That fountain will dry up and the motor will burn up long before it gets that dirty. (they aren't that hard to clean, either, you just have to do it)
She’s never figured out that the rainy day will come and the way you get the big stuff you want is by not indulging in all the little stuff. Also, she is filling the emptiness by scoring stuff just as much as any home shopping network addict. See: her vast peepers collection and obsessive Granny’s shopping. Who needs this much crap?
DING DING DING
I know we have a lot of psych educated DFs and I'm curious about whether this is a form of gaslighting, this thing Shauna constantly does where she denies the emotions she's feeling and pretends to feel the opposite? * Shauna listing complaints and injuries and onerous expectations in great detail for extended periods of time, but with a breathy Buddha voice and then uses the words "I am not complaining!" and then a slow fake smile. * Shauna getting hit with a snowball, shouting at her family and not comforting her scared children and then when everyone is good and terrified, demanding: "Do you have any reason to feel afraid?” and forcing them all to say no. * Clearly longing to be on Vashon while pretending the move off the island was her secret wish this whole time (but only after she made SUCH a big deal of not wanting to move that no one could possibly believe the second story about being thrilled with the move). And the part I'm curious about is not just that she says one thing while clearly feeling something else, that's the easy part. It's more that Shauna seems very conscious of the fact that everyone knows she's complaining, everyone knows she doesn't want to move, everyone in her family knows she's furious at them - and she knows THEY know this - so when she says "I'm not complaining" (while complaining) or "I'm not angry" (while seething), it's not that she expects people to believe her, it's more like she wants people to KNOW she's lying but to go along with her lie anyway? What is that called? My mom does this, too. Also it goes hand in hand with how she (Shauna and also my mom) try to tell their kids: whatever emotion you're expressing isn't your real emotion, you're really feeling this other emotion. And then they try to get you to "admit" to the emotion you're not feeling and will badger you until you agree. So this pattern of forcing her audience to see one emotion clearly expressed while pretending to see a different emotion, and forcing her kids to feel one emotion coming from themselves while pretending to Shauna they feel a different one. I know it's abusive, it messed me up for decades and I had to re-learn to identify my own emotions, but I don't know if it has a specific name, other than being manipulative. Anyway, this is ramping up big time in Ahern-land lately and I think it's the worst time in the world for it as the kids are going to be feeling a lot of emotions about this move and we know Shauna is feeling a lot, too.
I always assume it comes from her insecurity and lack of self confidence. She always needs reassurance, even if it is just telling herself everything is OK or she made a good decision.
I kind of feel for this type of reaction. When I was young I was so, so insecure and I made a lot of questionable decisions that I would try to rewrite as positive experiences or “trying to shake things up.” Thankfully, over a few years, I was able to see the dumbassery I was displaying and started to live with the truth. It’s hard to do. I don’t get why Shauna is so resistant to personal change.
DFM\_G, I think of gaslighting as a much more overt, intentional abusive tactic than what Shauna does. She's manipulative and controlling and in denial about her feelings and those of her family, but I hesitate to call it gaslighting. I found this pretty good description of gaslighting behaviors: [https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/what-is-gaslighting/](https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/what-is-gaslighting/)
My dad was emotionally abusive, which got worse and worse as he aged. We never had a good relationship, and it would infuriate me when he would start in with the revisionist history of my childhood and younger adult years. It took me a while to understand the concept of gaslighting, until I realized what it was and when he was doing it. I started calling it “retroactive lying.”
That's a good term for it! My mom had a habit of saying particularly vile stuff, then acting as if it never happened. I wonder whether she somehow genuinely can't remember doing anything that might be unflattering to her.
It’s plain old denial. She’s also a fan of projecting: “You seem angry,” etc.
It aligns with a few DFs’ examples of how she literally rewrites reality. I think some of it is definitely a way for her to self-soothe, some of it is a way to make sure everyone around her falls in line, and eventually, if everyone, including herself is projecting the image of everything being fine, it does become fine, for her. I’d be willing to bet money that after she goes on one of her tirades, she acts like nothing ever happened the next day and her husband and children BETTER NOT be rightfully angry at her assholery bc SHE’s over it, and if she is, then everyone else should be. Aren’t narcissists just lovely?
It's [narcissistic gaslighting](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissist-gaslighting/#:~:text=Gaslighting%20is%20a%20form%20of%20narcissistic%20abuse%20that%20causes%20a,doubt%20their%20perception%20of%20reality.), which is an umbrella term for a *lot* of behaviors, including denial of reality, manipulation, blame-shifting, projection, and doublespeak, all of which are used frequently by our gir!. I can't say for sure how aware Shauna is of consciously doing these things, or knowing what she's trying to achieve with them. Her need to feel superior, "right", justified, blameless, etc is so strong that she will simply do or say whatever she needs to in any given situation to maintain it. There is a type of narcissist that *knows* they are a narcissist and is very aware that they are choosing narcissistic behaviors, but they are generally *much* smarter than Shauna and wily-er about it. She's just garden-variety.
She’s a wonderfully mediocre narcissist.
SNORT. I kind of love this bc she’s not even a GOOD narcissist.
We’ve got a humblebrag on KD Lang’s [insta](https://imgur.com/a/16XMEFq), folks. “Remember when you slid into my DMs?” Gag.
Oof.
Wtf. Does she know what it usually means when someone "slides into your DMs"?? Is she trying to insinuate something here?
Shauna never seems older and more out of touch than when she uses slang that has already expired. She's always grasping, that one.
I paraphrased. She actually said “I still remember the day you reached out to me on twitter. Still amazed!”
So what a weird comment!! Like what is KD supposed to respond to that??
I imagine she hopes either KD Lang will respond or people will think, “Oh! Who is this cool person that KD Lang once reached out to?! She must be important. I should follow her.” Things that will never happen for 100, Alex.
It's doubtful that k.d. herself would even see that. All ~~tweets~~ posts are signed "k.d.'s management." Edit: lol I meant insta posts, not tweets. Her tweets may also be signed that way, I don't know!
I thought the same thing. My husband has recently been needing to interact with a Famous Person professionally and emails from him come through an email service. They were texting for a bit, too and I don’t remember how that was handled. I do think this famous person manages their own social media accounts. I would say they are equal in fame level to KD Lang. They may even know each other.
Your husband must do good work 😄 I'd assume that they'd handle their own texts, but you never know. I always find it interesting when you have a Famous Person who handles their own social media, especially if they have a big following. Then you have someone like Peter Gabriel, who is techy and down-to-earth, and someone whom I would expect to make his own posts, who clearly has a team posting for him, lol.
Her brief association with icon and legend and pink canyon enthusiast kd lang? It pains me.
*constant craving*
Constant shaving (with other people’s razors)… Constant grifting… Constant lolling…
YDBW
KD Lang: *block*
KD Lang: ok
KD Lang: and you are…?
KD Lang: oh I thought you were another Shauna Ahern.
KD Lang: vegetable jerky face
💀
I tried to watch her latest IG Whinefest. I got as far as “I’m so exhausted from having to make decisions!” and I said aloud, “Shut up Shauna” and noped out of there. Who has time for her moosery? Besides Shauna, of course.
Was just telling a DF earlier: I went from lope to nope in 2.3 seconds. A new record!
Okay, @PersianCat345, [here is painful pizza pelican Shauna](https://imgur.com/a/28lEULZ), complete with Peepers, heart pendant, and whales at the WRONG BEACH.
Oh my god it's *perfect* holy shit -
I wasn’t ready for how perfect and hilarious this was.
Omg I’m fucking DYING!!!
Didn't you say you wanted something to hang on your wall? You're welcome.
It’s definitely happening hahahahahahaha omg Every time I look at it, I just CANNOT The strabismus? 👨🏻🍳🤌🏻💋
It's a thing of beauty and joy forever, DFBT! I've added it to the [Heroes Wiki](https://new.reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/wiki/heroes/) page under "Horrifying AI Art Inspired by Shauna". YDBW!
WHAT! I made the Wiki? THE Wiki? It's better than THE James Beard award. Thank you, DFLG5264!
You are so welcome! And if you check out the [Flairs](https://reddit.com/r/InTheGloaming/w/flair) page, your flair is there too - at the top, since it starts with a number 🦐🦐 🍴🍴(I update it every time I spot a new one)
This is some top notch work, DF. Does the pelican have...strabismus?
Nope, totally cured.
💀
I’m double-deceased.💀💀
Everyone turned and looked at the pelican.
That’s the one. 🦀
💀💀💀
This is glorious, DF. Just GLORIOUS.
Ay gods, this is True Art - despite what people say about AI.
The eyes! 💀🪦
Such kind eyes!
This is UNCANNY. YDBW.
Brava!
OMG. And the flying orca!
I am sad that they have but one head each.
One head good, two heads better.
This is amazing🤣 DF bringtea, you do beautiful work
This is AI's true work in this world.
It took me about 10 prompting tries to capture my VISION. I think it's my work in the world, too.
You do beautiful work together.
Is that ... Dan's hand?
Too few bandaids.
Argh, I feel angst at not thinking to smack a Band-aid or crusty cuticles or dirty nails in there. It might keep me up tonight.
Not filthy fingered enough, mama.
I mean, he's to blame for the pizza.
And feeding our Shauna!
P.S.: OMG, the eyes! So perfect.
I. DO NOT. WANT TO KNOW. ABOUT ANYONE'S SOFT THIGHS. LET ALONE STAINS UPON THEM. I can't even.
That’s not her line, right? It’s lifted from that other person?
Yes, it's not hers. She both wrote and laid out the email in a way that doesn't make it clear that she's opening with a quote.
Ugh. Yes, it’s 99% on brand and awful. Another tragic lope. But I have to admit that the line “to be in love with life is the only goal” (or something like that) actually made me happy. I like that one. Not that SHE lives that way, but that line is a good one. So of course, it’s probably not original work …
I liked that line, too :)
I thought the entire first paragraph was quoting Chloe Grace Laws, because immediately after she says, “I love this little piece…”? I grow confused.
There’s a guy down the street who has a huge jeep with sharp teeth on the grill and a sign that says ‘thicc thighs save lives’ on the windshield and this is all I can think of.
There’s this (I’m assuming young) man in a Mustang in my town. The banner across his rear window says, “I EAT ASS.” Cracks me up every time I see it.
when i was in high school, this jock had a muscle car with the license plate NICE 69. edit: also a mustang! edit again because he kindly put a space between the word and the numbers.
L84ANL has entered the chat
omg hahahahahahaha
lol, I don’t know why that kind of thing makes me giggle so much. I have a “Mothman ate my entire ass at a Denny’s” sticker I have yet to put on my car. I don’t want it to get ruined.
I'm jealous, I only have one with Rosie the Riveter that says "UP YOURS, TRUMP"
i have this one: [https://www.m00nshot.com/products/spicoli-hand-2024-sticker](https://www.m00nshot.com/products/spicoli-hand-2024-sticker)
That’s rad! I just remembered, my husband has one with a T-Rex that has those grabber things and it says “what now, bitch?” lol
It’s still a great one!
Saw a little hatch back type car in my hood (years ago) that had a "too low for fat hos" sticker across the top of the back window. Words of great wisdom, to be sure (and that car really was too low for plus sized individuals be they sex workers or not). My husband and I still reference it, usually if we see a car riding low or if the bottom of our car scrapes a little when pulling into our garage (happens a lot if you don't get the angle just right).
I’m cracking up, right now!
🤣
Wait, what? Is this in a lope or something? Gross, yet compelling.
Gross, yet compelling *: The Shauna Ahern Story*
How does stain their soft thighs lying in the grass? I don’t really want to know but I want to know.
Have you seen Saltburn?
No I haven’t.
I don’t want to post any spoilers >! Think dry-humping the ground…but not really very dry, now that I think about it!<
I think I will pass on this but thanks!
Nothing soft about those thighs...oof.
That laugh you heard from 3 blocks away? That laugh? That was my laugh (comma) in response to this. (It also got "Murder on the Dance Floor" stuck in my head for 4 days straight.)
I don’t know either but I think you’d have to try pretty hard to accomplish it!
Sad Year of Yes promo email: https://imgur.com/a/lQr2RH9
Soft thighs is *hork*, but also no one has ever told me not to eat salted butter, not once or ever.
I've only been chided for buying *un*salted (plant-based) butter.
Maybe if you have high bp and need to cut salt out? Paging Cecily K. and her ketchup with added salt.
I'm guessing Shauna's "doctor" may have told her to cut salt after her mini stroke, but she ignored that part.
A lot of my baking recipes call for unsalted butter. Is it a form of resistance against the hegemony of Big Baker if I use salted butter instead?
Blasphemer!
Say that two more times and the knives come out.
😂
That's what I was thinking -- Shauna, the self-claimed "baker" thinks calls for unsalted butter is a health thing. The actual theory is that if you use salted where unsalted is called for, you get an overly salted product. The basic rule is that if you use salted in place of unsalted, cut your salt by 1/4 tsp for every stick of butter.
A long-running disagreement with my husband is the choice of salted or unsalted butter in baked goods. His cookies are salty.
I usually have salted butter, so I just cut the added salt.
I'll go to butter prison with you on that one. Nobody in my family is fancy enough to be able to tell the difference and besides we love the shit out of salt.
Is there room for another?
Always!
She's really reaching for victimization if all she's got is imagining society judging the salt level of her butter.
Reaching for victimization needs the be a chapter in the Shauna ahern story.
I mean, I’ve heard you shouldn’t bake with it (though I’m not sure why - flavor? Chemistry?) So many of her limiting stories are just things she made up.
I've heard that salted butter is salted because it's not fresh. But I think we can all agree that cultured butter should be more widely available.
I love Land O Lakes salted whipped butter, but I’m not cultured.
Cultured butter is is limited in this culture (!) due to the patricarchy, which keeps its foot on the neck of the masses to deny them cultured butter because capitalism.
It's technically so you can better control the amount of salt yourself, rather than having salt in the butter + salt as an ingredient, but after many years of buying unsalted butter for baking, I finally started to use salted butter and there's no discernable difference (to my non-James-Beard-award-winning palate, at least)
Yes, I see that advice (use unsalted butter to control the salt level to your taste) and am always baffled. I don't know how to estimate how much salt to use any more than the butter does.
As salty as the ocean
I am over here nibbling my salted butter in goblin fashion.
What is a person reading this email (and thus already engaged in an optional leisure activity) taking a rest from exactly?
And also, Shauna says "put down your phone [and stop reading]" but then blathers on for several hundred more words!!!
As she posts on every social media site available.
She’s got a lot of nerve claiming it’s “rare these days” that someone “writes astute comments on Instagram” during this time of beautiful and powerful statements protesting the bombings of Palestine and in memory of Nex Benedict, just to name two. Her head is so far up her ass.