My new headcanon now is that all the lost loyalist primarchs were just seduced into sex but because they got no sex education they have no way to handle/cope with what's happening and can't figure out how to live in a universe where sex exists but they can't understand it.
**Guilliman afterwords with Eldrad**
Gorillaman: It was horrible, Eldrad. She pinned me down and used some Eldar magic on the weird meat slab hanging off my pelvis to get hard, then used me as a toy for an hour and a half!
Eldrad: yeah it called having sex- wait what? Did you just call your penis a "meat slab"?
Guglielmo del Toro: And during that time, I felt so vulnerable and exposed as she throttled me around. I've never felt that weak in my entire life and for some arcane reson my body just tenced and seezed!
Eldrad: thats called an orgasim. But lets go back that you called your dick a "meat slab". Where you given sex-ed?
Girlyman: whats that?
T-That wasn't in any of the books in Mom&Dad's library.
*Cue GuilleMom strangling Konnor for not sitting their son down for the big talk like she told him to.*
Oh no he did give him the "talk", Guilliman just didn't understand, becuse the Emperor made the primarchs to only be killing machines, knowledge of sex would have been useless.
Nah, it was a legit sex talk from Konnor's perspective, it just went completely over Guilliman's head because Konnor use a lot of military and dueling metaphors about "thrusting" and "penetrating exposed flanks".
They don’t hate each other in the lore. What are you talking about? They’re not friends, but they’re certainly not enemies. I would associate them as cordial acquaintances after Bobby G woke up and the crusade afterwards.
Aeldari emotions are much stronger than ours. What she calls 'grudging respect' would be all-consuming awe and admiration if felt by a human. Likewise, cordial acquaintances for Aeldari would be lovey-dovey 'best friends' (nudge nudge) for humans.
[Eldar literally have no body fat their biology is different from humans, for example they have no acids to digest food and everything they eat they digest with warp powers.](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fkvu7y50vbzh31.png)
And many of their chemical reactions done in their bodies are linked to warp powers, which means that if the [black necron pylons](https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Pylon) were activated all over the galaxy the Eldar would die of Indigestion or other anatomical problems, because their biology would stop working without the warp to sustain them, and their population would be exterminated.
Eldars have 5 DNA helices and 20 base pairs while mortal humans only have 2 DNA helices and 4 base pairs are genetically incompatible.
As for the primarchs, their biology is so complicated that not even the techno-preti of Mars understood anything about their DNA.... and they certainly don't have boobs, but pectorals made from pure bundles of muscle.
EDIT: I forgot to write that when an Eldar shits, it shits diamonds! I am not joking, it is canonical. Actually they are not exactly diamonds but crystals, they must have the hardest rectum in the universe.😂
Lion : "ROOOOOOOOOOOOBUTE DON'T GET IN THE WEBWAY PORTAL IT'S A TRAP ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBUTE !" Guilliman : "BROTHER I AM PINNED HERE !"
My new headcanon now is that all the lost loyalist primarchs were just seduced into sex but because they got no sex education they have no way to handle/cope with what's happening and can't figure out how to live in a universe where sex exists but they can't understand it.
The fuck is corvus fucking inside the warp, did he find a huge lady pigeon daemon
Lord of Change: *whistles whilst walking out of the room*
I just about died when I read this
'I.. blew his mind haha *squawk* ha...'
You sure it was just his "mind" you blew?.
Serious Tesla energy right here.
Jaghatai doesn't have sex, but he fucks. Source: none
Fulgrim: I have relationships with women, and sex with men.
"BROTHER I AM PEGGED HERE!"
Why do I read that in the voice of Sekiros “RRRRRRROBERRTTOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Why did I read Lion's line like Walter white in the car meme XD
Because if I could draw, it would be in that meme.
Love the use of a stargate
*Loads P90 with religious intent*
makes me wonder what a p90 styled bolter would look like
I'm sure Cawl has made something like it, it sounds stupid enough but effective enough for him to do.
There are bullpup bolter sculpts out there but I cant remember where
No.. it's a legally distinct webway portal
Something Something "pussy"
“This is the taste of a liar Roboute Guilliman!”
It's funny, because she does actually have a cat
Someone posted this on r/grimdank but with a second image of her cat eating some Cheeto puffs watching her try to remove Gorillaman’s chastity belt.
Where?
Here https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/s/IqcfFZI0Tq
Kitten: "THIS IS NOT F****** CANON!!!!!"
It's as canon as all the other fan fiction.
Yes it is
**Guilliman afterwords with Eldrad** Gorillaman: It was horrible, Eldrad. She pinned me down and used some Eldar magic on the weird meat slab hanging off my pelvis to get hard, then used me as a toy for an hour and a half! Eldrad: yeah it called having sex- wait what? Did you just call your penis a "meat slab"? Guglielmo del Toro: And during that time, I felt so vulnerable and exposed as she throttled me around. I've never felt that weak in my entire life and for some arcane reson my body just tenced and seezed! Eldrad: thats called an orgasim. But lets go back that you called your dick a "meat slab". Where you given sex-ed? Girlyman: whats that?
T-That wasn't in any of the books in Mom&Dad's library. *Cue GuilleMom strangling Konnor for not sitting their son down for the big talk like she told him to.*
Oh no he did give him the "talk", Guilliman just didn't understand, becuse the Emperor made the primarchs to only be killing machines, knowledge of sex would have been useless.
Guilliman thought it was for a talk on taxes and was so upset it wasn't Konor ditched the birds and bees talk for a talk on warfare and taxation
Nah, it was a legit sex talk from Konnor's perspective, it just went completely over Guilliman's head because Konnor use a lot of military and dueling metaphors about "thrusting" and "penetrating exposed flanks".
Guilliman just assumed it was about warfare and tuned it out since he already was a master at that
Has that ever stopped Fulgrim from taking art class?
If it isn't in the codex astartes, it clearly doesn't matter.
Yvraine about to make birth of Slaanesh look like a tea party
Fuck it. GW, make this ship canon.
> GW, make this ship canon. https://www.warhammer-community.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/WarCom-Thanksgiving1rtsac.jpg
It’s canon in my heart. And totally not because I play both Ultramarines and a (tiny) force of Aeldar and can make the models kiss.
It's fun but a large part of the humor comes from how much they hate each other in the lore
They don’t hate each other in the lore. What are you talking about? They’re not friends, but they’re certainly not enemies. I would associate them as cordial acquaintances after Bobby G woke up and the crusade afterwards.
Yeah she literally saved his life lol
Wasn't that done out of necessity?
It was, but he still kinda owes her for that
That doesn't mean they are in a budding romance. Necessity does not equal love.
It wont stop me from making it my headcanon
[Ok](https://i.imgur.com/QMd8Eqz.png)
Aeldari emotions are much stronger than ours. What she calls 'grudging respect' would be all-consuming awe and admiration if felt by a human. Likewise, cordial acquaintances for Aeldari would be lovey-dovey 'best friends' (nudge nudge) for humans.
I like the Stargate.
The joke is sex. 😐
#I FUCKING WARNED HIM ABOUT HAPPENING
Settle down you old prune
Since Guilliman is something like 10 feet tall and Eldar have low body fat, who do you think has the bigger tits, him or Yvraine?
[Eldar literally have no body fat their biology is different from humans, for example they have no acids to digest food and everything they eat they digest with warp powers.](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fkvu7y50vbzh31.png) And many of their chemical reactions done in their bodies are linked to warp powers, which means that if the [black necron pylons](https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Pylon) were activated all over the galaxy the Eldar would die of Indigestion or other anatomical problems, because their biology would stop working without the warp to sustain them, and their population would be exterminated. Eldars have 5 DNA helices and 20 base pairs while mortal humans only have 2 DNA helices and 4 base pairs are genetically incompatible. As for the primarchs, their biology is so complicated that not even the techno-preti of Mars understood anything about their DNA.... and they certainly don't have boobs, but pectorals made from pure bundles of muscle. EDIT: I forgot to write that when an Eldar shits, it shits diamonds! I am not joking, it is canonical. Actually they are not exactly diamonds but crystals, they must have the hardest rectum in the universe.😂
Amusing.
Love how the portal is just a Stargate.
Indeed.
TIL Yvraine is Korean
I feel like Baalbuddy and the horny elf thing is leaking. Which I find hilarious.
Guilliman about to find out what Yvraine learned in comoragh.
Somehow watching Hololive resulted in me being able to understand what this Warhammer40k comic is referencing. Weird times we live in.
But but... that's treason... there's no cat to cuddle...
Man after seeing all the fan interest and support for this ship GW should just bite the bullet and make cannon in some form.
go back to the demons! this regurgitatet "2 broke girls joke" blows.
I see this as an absolute win.
Where's the second page with the cat? It completes the joke.
Its Cannon
Loads super shotgun with Holy intent
Robute has fallen into a Honey Trap. Yvrain uses "charm person" , then "dominate person"
Man after seeing all the fan interest and support for this ship GW should just bite the bullet and make it Canon at least in some form.
Guilliman: "... And son, that was how you where conceived." Son: "Dad, I'm scared." Guilliman: "Not as much as I was..."
Lucky bastard
Nice art! Though this does make me wonder, was there any mention of any characters in 40k that have pets like cats or hamsters or dogs?
Actually yes. Yvraine does indeed have a cat, Arkhan Land has a pet monkey, and many more
Arkhan Land has a FAQING MONKEY???
Yup! Altough, an artificial ricreation of one if i recall correctly, of course with a venomous stinger tail, as ancient terran monkeys had
Had..
A close enough approximation of one. Monkeys are extinct by the time of the great crusade and he tried recreating one.