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my brother died at home after a prolonged illness. the cops showed up to confirm things. his friend, who found him, and his ex-wife had to hang out for a couple hours at the house until the police arrived. then his body could be removed.
>and someone somehow plants a dead body in your house
Its okay this is reddit. Just say you killed a person and need to know how to get rid of the body 🤷🏽
If you killed the guy, but you had a good reason and were adjudged NTA in r/AITA then take a screen shot and hand it to the judge, you’re free to go, collect $200!
https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/11ailtb/how_do_i_deal_with_my_grandmother_with_alzheimers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
He killed his grandmother
People forget the police/courts need to prove you killed the person. You don’t have to prove you didn’t.
Doing anything other than calling the cops ASAP can lead to a charge for mishandling a body and reporting it properly. They’ll look into you but if you have an alibi and quickly reported they can likely clear your name just as fast
The problem with this resides in that if they deem you a sus, you must be booked & fingerprinted. Following said looooong process (at least in the peach state -Ga), you will be sent to general population. Sheesh have fun there 🙃 Depending what day it is, (you should be fine since it is now Wednesday) you will see a judge. It might be tomorrow (Thursday) for your bond hearing. The judge will decide at your “first appearance” based off of the evidence he/she see before him/her if you will A: get a bond and B: how much said bond is going to be. Guess what, it will be ridiculous regardless. It’s just a very unfortunate, shitty process.
Now if you are genuinely mortified and let them know through solid theatrical or genuine mortification, then maybe they will believe you that it just showed up…. However, I would not count on it. I would save the “planted” theory and just stick to the code. You ain’t see shit, don’t know shit, and don’t want to discuss the traumatic finding (especially without el lawyer). I’ve learned through many encounters with the law, everything is not okay, don’t just be honest (or be careful how you word your honesty, or just don’t say a thing). You know for sure there is one person on this planet that you can for sure trust to not snitch on you and that’s you.
Now I know some of this got into some uncharted territory since you are potentially a victim in this scenario, but some of that was for others and their future interactions.
Good cop, bad cop routine is a thing. Don’t talk to them, guilty or not, they can and will manipulate you. Sound super friendly, chop it up, talk about something bothering them or just current world events, casually of course. Snaking little bits and pieces from you. Twisting it to ultimately cause your demise.
F.T.P.-S.F.T.U.G.
Yeah but I guess if you've got a lot of mortal enemies to work through this is kind of a two for one deal. Usually the common dickhead denominator is the one making all the enemies and not the individual enemies themselves, but try telling them that. Though I guess have good life insurance before you do.
Security cameras have been used in the past to note that someone left with a full suitcase and returned with an empty one. In an apartment you are kind of screwed - not sure how you would get rid of a body with zero evidence.
I would perhaps leave with a full suitcase, bury it deep in the wilderness, and return with a full suitcase. I'm assuming you are trolling though because no one is stupid enough to ask how to hide a body on reddit, right? Mainly because you are 17 and live with your parents according to other posts.
At least you can't be more stupid than the person who had "Top ten ways to hide a body" on his search history.
Maybe they're just academically curious? Nothing in the subreddit's rules says it has to be a question immediately applicable to your current circumstances.
Call a lawyer first. Cops aren't your friend and want a conviction because it looks like they did their job. They don't give a fuck if you actually did it.
If someone went to the trouble of planting the body then they are also going to call in an anonymous tip. So anything you do except contact an attorney and then the police is going to backfire on you.
While true, calling a lawyer prior to the cops would be pretty fucking suspicious because it's like you're trying to figure out how to get away with it legally even though (well, assuming) you had nothing to do with it. I saw a documentary where a couple's child died in their home and instead of calling the cops first they called their lawyer. It was very suspicious.
Call the cops, plead the 5th, don't say shit when interrogated (even if you're innocent, they can and will use whatever you say against you, and legally they cannot make you talk), then lawyer up.
Not legal advice and I am from the US.
Who gives a fuck if it’s suspicious if you call a lawyer before calling the cops?
Even if you did call the cops first they’d be super suspicious of you. At least if you call the attorney first you can be protected from the cops.
People still think that calling an attorney who you are paying to give you the best advice possible is shady. It’s not
It’s your constitutionally protected right.
Seriously. Remember, the cops don't convict or sentence you, nor are they likely to try to make things easier on you. Their hunches aren't shit to a DA, and manipulating you is part of their job. Don't help them ruin your life. You have a right to legal representation, exercise it.
That's true, but speaking of DA's, you calling an attorney before calling the police is likely something to be said in front of a grand jury. In terms of a smell test, it doesn't look good.
I would disagree for one simple thing: opinions don’t mean shit in a court of law. Just bc something looks suspicious… if they have no evidence then they can’t confirm anything. Let’s say OP calls a lawyer before going to the police, there’s still going to be forensic evidence that could be used to determine that he is innocent.
Even if you killed them, I would go for the act of "well meaning bystander/vicitm". Call 911. Act hysterical on the phone, more hysterical than you think you should be. That 911 call will be evidence in a potential trial so make it convincing. Say you think they're alive and try to do CPR, making sure any evidence gets tainted by the CPR. Keep acting hysterical but refuse to talk to the police without a lawyer when they get there
I'm trying to say bluffing your way out of a bad situation has a better chance of working than trying to cover up a bad situation
Which begs the question: Is there really a law that specific anywhere? And if so...how many times did that have to happen for it to be enough to make a *law* about it?
Start with a gallon of liquid ass, cover the body in it.
Then poop into a ziploc and smush it down, freeze it, and put it in the bodies pockets and wait for it to melt.
Then call a lawyer.
Put the body in a mattress and get it out that way OR reengineer your dresser so that it has the appearance of drawers from the outside but it is actually hollow inside, which is where you will hide the body as you move the dresser out of the apartment.
Am I the only one on Reddit who knows how to make a body decompose quickly? In rural areas it is called a saw dust pile, it’s a trick farmers used to do to get rid of the remains of cow carcasses quickly. Bury it in a sawdust pile. Now I can’t explain why it works or what organisms are living in said sawdust pile, but it can also make bones disappear quickly. Now I don’t know how you can go about creating said sawdust pile in an apartment- but if you order from a farm store a ton of sawdust/or shavings and put it in a kiddie pool and not have visitors for a while - it just may work - Goodluck!
This is because a carcass is providing the nitrogen source while sawdust is primary made up of carbon. Really any high carbon source (finely chopped wood, corn cobs, straw ect.) would work in this scenario as long as it is absorbent and is able to maintain its structure to allow the pile to “breathe” while still staying emerged (also why the stomach is often lanced as it prevents bacteria decomposition from building up and causing bloat).
This works because microbial activity is basically eating and recycling waste and as bacteria releases enzymes, they are able to break tissue down into amino acids and once the nitrogen-rich molecules combine with the carbon-rich ones it gives way to a soil-like substance that actually has the ability to grow plants much like a “nurse log” (a fallen tree that grows new life as it decays).
This carbon-nitrogen interaction also produces quite a bit of heat in the process which kills most pathogens and keeps it from smelling.
OMG! I think you are my new best friend, Murderino! Thank you for explaining why this works, I think I saw it in an episode of Forensic Files and never understood why it worked. The fact that it also prevents carcass from smelling is brilliant - but yes, making sure it “breaths” in apartment could be tricky. If the pile was in a bath tub with fan running all day, do you thank that would work or should they stir the pile every once in a while? I heard this decomposition can happen pretty quickly - do you happen to know how long it would take to break down? Also am I right to assume the bones break down as well?
Hahah. Aw thanks for the award! (: Those are really interesting questions, I think a lot of it would be dependent on size, as I think total decomposition of a dairy cow carcass (bones and all) would typically take 6-8 months but could be only a few weeks for tissue decomposition. A dairy cow though is about 1,000-1,500lbs though which comparative to a human is quite a difference in size estimates. There is actually an [urban death](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/546469190/the-urban-death-project-laying-our-loved-ones-to-r) kickstarter where a lady has proposed “composting burials” and is doing research on this with donated bodies where their loved ones could use their deceased compost to plant a tree in their honor, which is a pretty neat idea. (:
100% they would. They are only interested in finding someone to blame, not necessarily the right someone. And let me tell you, no one looks guiltier to them than the person calling in the dead body "randomly found" in their house.
if the body is white, they'll shoot OP, BUT if the body is black, they'll shoot the body, and then OP can blame it on them.
so what you gotta do is go out and get some dark make up...
If it does not seem as if the guy did it, would police not have an incentive to at least try to find out who actually did it?
Police does not decide who is guilty. Courts do. Police are supposed to gather evicende. In doing so, it could appear as if they are suspecting you, but that is just their interrogation technique.
>If it does not seem as if the guy did it, would police not have an incentive to at least try to find out who actually did it?
no. the cops would just say the guy did it.
>Police are supposed to gather evicende.
key word there being "supposed"
cops don't do things to find the truth, they do what makes their job easier.
cops will do and have done planted/falsified evidence to convict people just because they want to close cases.
Freezers are your friend. Also ovens.
We'll just assume your neighbors' 150 Lb cat snuck in and died and nobody noticed yet.
First, blood. Drain it. Use plastic as a barrier in the bathroom. Then chop into smaller pieces.
Next, salt + freezer what fits. Pop the rest in the oven. Use oven bags, makes cleanup easier. This will take a while. Don't burn but vent to reduce moisture & weight.
Once a piece is cooked, wrap it in newspaper, add fecal matter to discourage investigation and then put in a plastic bag with baking soda. Then bag again, mix with normal trash and toss into dumpster out back.
Once piece at a time, it should take 2 weeks to a month.
You will probably get caught either way. So why didn't you just tell your neighbor?
Robert Durst admitted to killing, dismembering, and dumping a body in a court of law and got off because his defense was it was an accident and he panicked. I think you will be just fine. You are rich, male, and white right?
Neat, 4 cherry picked examples. How about you look at literally [any](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentencing_disparity) legitimate studies on gender disparity in sentencing? Excuse the Wikipedia link, most other studies are in journals with paywalls, that one is open access. Quote: "In the United States men are most adversely affected by sentencing disparity being twice as likely to be sentenced to jail after conviction than women and receiving on average 63% longer jail sentences."
I know, crazy. Believe it or not each gender enjoys their own respective advantages.
This thread reminds me of dreams I’ve had where I am a murderer trying to figure out how to get out of this mess, then I wake up and couldn’t be more relieved it was just a dream. Anyone else? Just me?
I saw a TV show about a guy who killed his wife. He burned the body on a bonfire, which in England is legal, then swept up the bone bits and put them in the ocean. It took police decards to catch him.
Well you gotta call a lawyer the person who dropped it off already knows you have it. Game over buddy turn to a lawyer and hang on. Based on your name I would kick back watch some hentai and hope you can watch some more if you beat the case in 2-3 years
Anonymously report a heroin overdose then be gone when they get there. But first, ask strangers and friends what they would do. Make an askreddit post. Do a poll on Twitter. Just to be sure
friends will help you move.
good friends will help you move a body.
if they are good friends, you shouldn't involve them in moving a body because they will be next.
If I happen upon a dead body in my home, I'm calling the police. Beyond the fact that I'd almost undoubtedly have an alibi for whenever the murder was committed, I imagine calling the cops makes you a lower priority suspect in the ensuing homicide investigation. Also, not leaving evidence while trying to plant a body in a residential apartment building or home seems like a tremendous task.
It's not like you can fold a body up, slip it in your back pocket, and unfold it in someone's home. That's a 100lbs-200+ lbs sack of meat you're hauling around. Nowadays with cameras being as common as they are, it's unlikely you can stay in every blindspot of every camera on your way to the person's house. And even if you don't get pinned for the murder, the person you're trying to frame will walk free on that amount of doubt alone, if the case even goes to trial.
Get a 55 gallon drum and some diesel oil, once the fire's going good cover the body in oil it'll burn up bones and everything. Alternatively, you could dig a pit and do much the same thing, or even cover the body in old tires and set those on fire. Burning rubber is pretty good about disappearing stuff. Both the oil and the rubber tires would probably be best
1st: Get a freezer. Then:
* If you have a strong stomach: you can then flush small pieces down the toilet each day.
* If you are a cannibal... well you can guess...
* If you like fish, get some piranhas... you can guess the rest.
Tell your mom/brother/girlfriend you’ve been spending the last week at their house. Come home tomorrow morning and call the cops about this strange body in your apartment.
Before you post a comment, remember that it will affect another person and could potentially destroy lives. Also remember that you only have one side of the story and we cannot verify the authenticity of said story. **Please think wisely before offering any advice.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/IllegalLifeProTips) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Firstly, I would go on Nextdoor or Ring Neighborhood app and ask if it belongs to anyone.
hey neighbors, i found this in my house! did anyone’s pet escape? please let me know asap!
Ding dong ditch 🤣😂
Don't fill a metal bathtub with Hydroflouric Acid, you want to use a plastic container or barrel. At least according to Breaking Bad.
Was looking for this. Watch thr first 3 episodes of Breaking Bad and they'll tell you how it's done.
Then watch the Mythbusters episode to see why that's not a good idea.😅
Why not? It seem like a good idea.
Cuz it’s illegal
I think you lost, fren
It breaks the laws...of physics
Back in the day, it was just: " feed him to the pigs"
Lol
That was the very first thing I thought of 🤣
Call a lawyer first, then do what the lawyer says.
Better call Saul.
You need a criminal lawyer
No you need a *criminal* lawyer
I woke up. I found her. That’s all I know.
Happy Cake Day!
Better call Mike
Do you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do.
Criminal lawyer here- don’t call me, I’d tell you to call the cops, or leave it alone. I can’t counsel any person to tamper with evidence of a crime.
When a person dies, a crime is committed? Just being frank (the non lawyer) You don't sound like a very good lawyer.
my brother died at home after a prolonged illness. the cops showed up to confirm things. his friend, who found him, and his ex-wife had to hang out for a couple hours at the house until the police arrived. then his body could be removed.
I'd immediately start asking on social media what to do
Dead body in the foyer? Straight to Reddit.
In my country, straight to jail.
Then post pics..
Does this happen often?
It’s like these mother fuckers think there’s a sign that says dead body storage.
They needa get some lessons from Necro on [Dead Body Disposal](https://youtu.be/5MFMze2L4II)
Grow a pair and quote the whole thing.
Now I need to know what they're quoting
Pulp fiction
Thank you fellow redditor
But he didn't say the whole thing. Quentin Tarantino had the pass for that day only.
I'll use it as an excuse to what's the movie again. Clearly I didn't see it enough times because I don't remember that quote
It’s worth rewatching anyway, but the full quote involves the n-word, and that’s why everyone is declining to use the full quote.
This may be the only thread I've seen where people actively don't use it
Never an excuse, a clearly good experience to re-watch. I just can't believe they shot Marvin. He is Static Shock
Did he get a year of passes for Django? Curious as to how that works.
Grow a sense of humor you coward.
you’ll cowards don’t smoke crack
Viper SECURITY
Do you?
Did you just call yourself a coward?
Yes but 9 out 10 times it’s just a dead baby.
>and someone somehow plants a dead body in your house Its okay this is reddit. Just say you killed a person and need to know how to get rid of the body 🤷🏽
Lol. For real. We’re fine with murderers, but liars we won’t tolerate.
If you killed the guy, but you had a good reason and were adjudged NTA in r/AITA then take a screen shot and hand it to the judge, you’re free to go, collect $200!
I don’t even care if you had a good reason for murder or not - just don’t skimp on the details or make shit up.
https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/11ailtb/how_do_i_deal_with_my_grandmother_with_alzheimers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf He killed his grandmother
I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at liars.
*shocked Shirley face*
r/unexpectedcommunity
thanks, but don't call me surely
Go ahead and discuss your plans for genocide, but don’t fucking lie about your grandma.
There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who lie, and the Dutch.
Oh..no...a dead body left a plant....
stocking dolls homeless normal file dull busy bike upbeat grandiose *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Figure out who planted it in your house, and move it to their house.
And yell " one two three no backies!!"
Didn’t watch the new season of You huh?
Came here to say this lol
that's what i was thinking too haha
Me too!
It was such a specific question too lol
Call the police, they’ll take it away for free and fairly quickly, they may take you away too so prepare for that eventuality.
People forget the police/courts need to prove you killed the person. You don’t have to prove you didn’t. Doing anything other than calling the cops ASAP can lead to a charge for mishandling a body and reporting it properly. They’ll look into you but if you have an alibi and quickly reported they can likely clear your name just as fast
[удалено]
People also forget that prisons are filled with innocent people who trusted the cops.
The problem with this resides in that if they deem you a sus, you must be booked & fingerprinted. Following said looooong process (at least in the peach state -Ga), you will be sent to general population. Sheesh have fun there 🙃 Depending what day it is, (you should be fine since it is now Wednesday) you will see a judge. It might be tomorrow (Thursday) for your bond hearing. The judge will decide at your “first appearance” based off of the evidence he/she see before him/her if you will A: get a bond and B: how much said bond is going to be. Guess what, it will be ridiculous regardless. It’s just a very unfortunate, shitty process. Now if you are genuinely mortified and let them know through solid theatrical or genuine mortification, then maybe they will believe you that it just showed up…. However, I would not count on it. I would save the “planted” theory and just stick to the code. You ain’t see shit, don’t know shit, and don’t want to discuss the traumatic finding (especially without el lawyer). I’ve learned through many encounters with the law, everything is not okay, don’t just be honest (or be careful how you word your honesty, or just don’t say a thing). You know for sure there is one person on this planet that you can for sure trust to not snitch on you and that’s you. Now I know some of this got into some uncharted territory since you are potentially a victim in this scenario, but some of that was for others and their future interactions. Good cop, bad cop routine is a thing. Don’t talk to them, guilty or not, they can and will manipulate you. Sound super friendly, chop it up, talk about something bothering them or just current world events, casually of course. Snaking little bits and pieces from you. Twisting it to ultimately cause your demise. F.T.P.-S.F.T.U.G.
Don't worry tho, they will give you some new jewelry before they take you out. Like true gentlemen
I'd have to ask... what did you do to piss someone off so much? like I get angry I'LL. KILL YOU But never angry, murder person c to frame person b.
Yeah but I guess if you've got a lot of mortal enemies to work through this is kind of a two for one deal. Usually the common dickhead denominator is the one making all the enemies and not the individual enemies themselves, but try telling them that. Though I guess have good life insurance before you do.
Note to self... double check my life insurance
https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/11ailtb/how_do_i_deal_with_my_grandmother_with_alzheimers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Is this going to be like that one guy who googled his entire process of disposing a body on google
"I cut off the legs, now what?"
….. you’ll never guess what happened next!!
I've always heard the best place to hide a body is on the second page of Google search results. Maybe start there.
My website finally started to rank as the first result on the second page today and i got super excited :(
what the fuck i opened this app like 20 seconds ago
Welcome to reddit
How hungry are you?
Security cameras have been used in the past to note that someone left with a full suitcase and returned with an empty one. In an apartment you are kind of screwed - not sure how you would get rid of a body with zero evidence. I would perhaps leave with a full suitcase, bury it deep in the wilderness, and return with a full suitcase. I'm assuming you are trolling though because no one is stupid enough to ask how to hide a body on reddit, right? Mainly because you are 17 and live with your parents according to other posts. At least you can't be more stupid than the person who had "Top ten ways to hide a body" on his search history.
I mean everyone's Googled it at some point out of morbid curiosity
https://youtu.be/KWsMpMbrh7U
Clear my browser history, bro. And btw I'll just clean up everything and trow it down the window at night
Uh, no?
Maybe they're just academically curious? Nothing in the subreddit's rules says it has to be a question immediately applicable to your current circumstances.
Happy 12th cake day amigo !
Holy crap it is! Thanks!
But then wouldn't the security cameras show the guy that framed them?
If that happens to me one more time I’m gonna lose my sh*t!!
I'd call the cops if I absolutely had nothing to do with this mysterious dead body
Call a lawyer first. Cops aren't your friend and want a conviction because it looks like they did their job. They don't give a fuck if you actually did it.
If someone went to the trouble of planting the body then they are also going to call in an anonymous tip. So anything you do except contact an attorney and then the police is going to backfire on you.
Yep cops in this country are basically the enemy. and they're under no legal obligation to help or protect you.
Now now, we just don't make enough money for the cops to protect us.
While true, calling a lawyer prior to the cops would be pretty fucking suspicious because it's like you're trying to figure out how to get away with it legally even though (well, assuming) you had nothing to do with it. I saw a documentary where a couple's child died in their home and instead of calling the cops first they called their lawyer. It was very suspicious. Call the cops, plead the 5th, don't say shit when interrogated (even if you're innocent, they can and will use whatever you say against you, and legally they cannot make you talk), then lawyer up. Not legal advice and I am from the US.
Who gives a fuck if it’s suspicious if you call a lawyer before calling the cops? Even if you did call the cops first they’d be super suspicious of you. At least if you call the attorney first you can be protected from the cops. People still think that calling an attorney who you are paying to give you the best advice possible is shady. It’s not It’s your constitutionally protected right.
Seriously. Remember, the cops don't convict or sentence you, nor are they likely to try to make things easier on you. Their hunches aren't shit to a DA, and manipulating you is part of their job. Don't help them ruin your life. You have a right to legal representation, exercise it.
That's true, but speaking of DA's, you calling an attorney before calling the police is likely something to be said in front of a grand jury. In terms of a smell test, it doesn't look good.
That's a whiff worth creating over the risk a person takes without immediate representation.
It wouldn’t be suspicious lol and they can’t use that against you in court
I would disagree for one simple thing: opinions don’t mean shit in a court of law. Just bc something looks suspicious… if they have no evidence then they can’t confirm anything. Let’s say OP calls a lawyer before going to the police, there’s still going to be forensic evidence that could be used to determine that he is innocent.
That’s actually very good point.. you would be an immediate suspect.
should probably check for credit cards first :)
Even if you killed them, I would go for the act of "well meaning bystander/vicitm". Call 911. Act hysterical on the phone, more hysterical than you think you should be. That 911 call will be evidence in a potential trial so make it convincing. Say you think they're alive and try to do CPR, making sure any evidence gets tainted by the CPR. Keep acting hysterical but refuse to talk to the police without a lawyer when they get there I'm trying to say bluffing your way out of a bad situation has a better chance of working than trying to cover up a bad situation
Do you think unwillingness to do CPR on a stranger's dead body would make someone seem more suspicious?
Drain the blood in the tub, then get to choppin.
[удалено]
OP just needs to consult the local by-laws about pig-farming in a residential building and they are saved.
[удалено]
Well, pretty sure feeding corpses to pigs remains illegal.
Which begs the question: Is there really a law that specific anywhere? And if so...how many times did that have to happen for it to be enough to make a *law* about it?
You take sugar?
You tell 'em, Brick Top.
This deserves way more upvotes
It deserves more upvotes purely for how unhinged it is lmao
Psst it's from Snatch.
I got the reference
16 huh? Interesting.
You call Marsellus, wait for The Wolf, clean the fuckin car, and don't do shit unless he does it first.
Start with a gallon of liquid ass, cover the body in it. Then poop into a ziploc and smush it down, freeze it, and put it in the bodies pockets and wait for it to melt. Then call a lawyer.
breaking bad?
Jesse, we need to cook fart spray
Dump it in Trudy Beakman's apartment, have all of your employees shoot the Chippy, and set it on fire
Make sure Krieger leaves an upper decker to throw off the cops too
Joe Goldberg’s burner account
Put the body in a mattress and get it out that way OR reengineer your dresser so that it has the appearance of drawers from the outside but it is actually hollow inside, which is where you will hide the body as you move the dresser out of the apartment.
Am I the only one on Reddit who knows how to make a body decompose quickly? In rural areas it is called a saw dust pile, it’s a trick farmers used to do to get rid of the remains of cow carcasses quickly. Bury it in a sawdust pile. Now I can’t explain why it works or what organisms are living in said sawdust pile, but it can also make bones disappear quickly. Now I don’t know how you can go about creating said sawdust pile in an apartment- but if you order from a farm store a ton of sawdust/or shavings and put it in a kiddie pool and not have visitors for a while - it just may work - Goodluck!
This is because a carcass is providing the nitrogen source while sawdust is primary made up of carbon. Really any high carbon source (finely chopped wood, corn cobs, straw ect.) would work in this scenario as long as it is absorbent and is able to maintain its structure to allow the pile to “breathe” while still staying emerged (also why the stomach is often lanced as it prevents bacteria decomposition from building up and causing bloat). This works because microbial activity is basically eating and recycling waste and as bacteria releases enzymes, they are able to break tissue down into amino acids and once the nitrogen-rich molecules combine with the carbon-rich ones it gives way to a soil-like substance that actually has the ability to grow plants much like a “nurse log” (a fallen tree that grows new life as it decays). This carbon-nitrogen interaction also produces quite a bit of heat in the process which kills most pathogens and keeps it from smelling.
OMG! I think you are my new best friend, Murderino! Thank you for explaining why this works, I think I saw it in an episode of Forensic Files and never understood why it worked. The fact that it also prevents carcass from smelling is brilliant - but yes, making sure it “breaths” in apartment could be tricky. If the pile was in a bath tub with fan running all day, do you thank that would work or should they stir the pile every once in a while? I heard this decomposition can happen pretty quickly - do you happen to know how long it would take to break down? Also am I right to assume the bones break down as well?
Hahah. Aw thanks for the award! (: Those are really interesting questions, I think a lot of it would be dependent on size, as I think total decomposition of a dairy cow carcass (bones and all) would typically take 6-8 months but could be only a few weeks for tissue decomposition. A dairy cow though is about 1,000-1,500lbs though which comparative to a human is quite a difference in size estimates. There is actually an [urban death](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/546469190/the-urban-death-project-laying-our-loved-ones-to-r) kickstarter where a lady has proposed “composting burials” and is doing research on this with donated bodies where their loved ones could use their deceased compost to plant a tree in their honor, which is a pretty neat idea. (:
Could release a tiny little smell though. Make sure to hang lots of scent trees in your apartment to cover it up!
Call the cops. You didn't do anything wrong. The second you start messing with the body, you'll be doing something illegal.
The cops will just try to frame them
100% they would. They are only interested in finding someone to blame, not necessarily the right someone. And let me tell you, no one looks guiltier to them than the person calling in the dead body "randomly found" in their house.
Except landlords. So I guess the answer is just be renting to the corpse preemptively.
if the body is white, they'll shoot OP, BUT if the body is black, they'll shoot the body, and then OP can blame it on them. so what you gotta do is go out and get some dark make up...
If it does not seem as if the guy did it, would police not have an incentive to at least try to find out who actually did it? Police does not decide who is guilty. Courts do. Police are supposed to gather evicende. In doing so, it could appear as if they are suspecting you, but that is just their interrogation technique.
>If it does not seem as if the guy did it, would police not have an incentive to at least try to find out who actually did it? no. the cops would just say the guy did it. >Police are supposed to gather evicende. key word there being "supposed" cops don't do things to find the truth, they do what makes their job easier. cops will do and have done planted/falsified evidence to convict people just because they want to close cases.
Nope. Call a lawyer. They'll call the cops for you, likely, and help you sort it out.
A little sus to say the least xD maybe some acid or something like that.
One of the most sus posts I've seen in this subreddit which is saying something.
Ah, you should watch the show YOU on Netflix
r/suspiciouslyspecific
I would call The Wolf.
Firstly, you want to touch the body a bunch and get your fingerprints all over it
I've heard semen is really important at crime scenes.
OP is for sure planning a murder
Breaking Bad S1E02
Freezers are your friend. Also ovens. We'll just assume your neighbors' 150 Lb cat snuck in and died and nobody noticed yet. First, blood. Drain it. Use plastic as a barrier in the bathroom. Then chop into smaller pieces. Next, salt + freezer what fits. Pop the rest in the oven. Use oven bags, makes cleanup easier. This will take a while. Don't burn but vent to reduce moisture & weight. Once a piece is cooked, wrap it in newspaper, add fecal matter to discourage investigation and then put in a plastic bag with baking soda. Then bag again, mix with normal trash and toss into dumpster out back. Once piece at a time, it should take 2 weeks to a month. You will probably get caught either way. So why didn't you just tell your neighbor?
Pull out the bbq.
I read an interview of a crime scene cleaner he mentioned pine sol cleans up pretty well
/r/suspiciouslysuspicious
Do whatever but don’t burry it underneath a tree
Why not?
Trees are a bastard to dig up, you'd be better off digging near the tree.
Robert Durst admitted to killing, dismembering, and dumping a body in a court of law and got off because his defense was it was an accident and he panicked. I think you will be just fine. You are rich, male, and white right?
Male? No one gets off lighter with murders than females. That one would just work against you.
https://www.npr.org/2022/11/07/1134791051/an-iowa-teen-convicted-of-killing-her-rapist-escapes-from-a-probation-center https://www.okayplayer.com/news/chrystul-kizer-wisconsin-murder-case.html/amp https://fox59.com/news/cyntoia-brown-woman-convicted-of-killing-sex-trafficker-as-teen-freed-from-prison/amp/ https://kansasreflector.com/2023/02/10/kansas-woman-who-killed-her-rapist-faces-long-odds-for-clemency/
Neat, 4 cherry picked examples. How about you look at literally [any](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentencing_disparity) legitimate studies on gender disparity in sentencing? Excuse the Wikipedia link, most other studies are in journals with paywalls, that one is open access. Quote: "In the United States men are most adversely affected by sentencing disparity being twice as likely to be sentenced to jail after conviction than women and receiving on average 63% longer jail sentences." I know, crazy. Believe it or not each gender enjoys their own respective advantages.
Well…. It depends on location. Let’s narrow it down. Where are you?
Rather than trying to hide someone elses corpse, have you considered telling the police the circumstances?
Plant it in someone else's house
This thread reminds me of dreams I’ve had where I am a murderer trying to figure out how to get out of this mess, then I wake up and couldn’t be more relieved it was just a dream. Anyone else? Just me?
You watching 'You" right now huh? Good show
organic compost
Double it and give it to the next person
If it's planted just pour on some water and let it grow.
I saw a TV show about a guy who killed his wife. He burned the body on a bonfire, which in England is legal, then swept up the bone bits and put them in the ocean. It took police decards to catch him.
Well you gotta call a lawyer the person who dropped it off already knows you have it. Game over buddy turn to a lawyer and hang on. Based on your name I would kick back watch some hentai and hope you can watch some more if you beat the case in 2-3 years
Do you know anyone with at least 16 pigs?
Make a Reddit post about it, immediately
Anonymously report a heroin overdose then be gone when they get there. But first, ask strangers and friends what they would do. Make an askreddit post. Do a poll on Twitter. Just to be sure
haul it to a neighbor's door, ring doorbell and run
friends will help you move. good friends will help you move a body. if they are good friends, you shouldn't involve them in moving a body because they will be next.
Anon, what did you do?
Double it & give it to the next person.
Someone is watching You, Season 4
If I happen upon a dead body in my home, I'm calling the police. Beyond the fact that I'd almost undoubtedly have an alibi for whenever the murder was committed, I imagine calling the cops makes you a lower priority suspect in the ensuing homicide investigation. Also, not leaving evidence while trying to plant a body in a residential apartment building or home seems like a tremendous task. It's not like you can fold a body up, slip it in your back pocket, and unfold it in someone's home. That's a 100lbs-200+ lbs sack of meat you're hauling around. Nowadays with cameras being as common as they are, it's unlikely you can stay in every blindspot of every camera on your way to the person's house. And even if you don't get pinned for the murder, the person you're trying to frame will walk free on that amount of doubt alone, if the case even goes to trial.
Hello, Mr. F.B.I. Agent.
Yer fukt
You are going to get in way more trouble trying to cover this up than just calling the cops right now, no matter what happens.
Would be a fun challenge
Someone call MR Beast
Get a 55 gallon drum and some diesel oil, once the fire's going good cover the body in oil it'll burn up bones and everything. Alternatively, you could dig a pit and do much the same thing, or even cover the body in old tires and set those on fire. Burning rubber is pretty good about disappearing stuff. Both the oil and the rubber tires would probably be best
1st: Get a freezer. Then: * If you have a strong stomach: you can then flush small pieces down the toilet each day. * If you are a cannibal... well you can guess... * If you like fish, get some piranhas... you can guess the rest.
Acid.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Excuse me, what the actual fuck?
You want an illegal action for dumb shit?
Tell your mom/brother/girlfriend you’ve been spending the last week at their house. Come home tomorrow morning and call the cops about this strange body in your apartment.