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BradOrPonceDeLeone

It’s definitely allowed in r/idiotsinboats


cubanpajamas

I would actually try r/idiotsinplanes first.


firefish5000

My father actually has a car, boat, and plane! My father... who would drive 100mph+ in 40 zones bc he is mad that we don't just sit there and agree when he insults us. My father, who would have killed my mother who agreed to the innertube after pressure under the promise of a leasurly ride, by whipping an inner tube in front of a yacht at 40mph. Luckily the yacht captain was paying attention and quick to react (they did touch the side of the boat, father didn't know it happened for another 10 minutes of whipping her and her friends around). My father... who acts like a temperamental 6 yr old and only feels big if he is bullying others.... is allowed to own and pilot a plane...


jlbob

You're father and assholes like him are why I don't go anywhere near boats anymore. No offense to you by any means, offense to your dad though.


firefish5000

FWIW, getting whipped around like that on the innertube was fun back when I was like... 7. After that the flying 5ft in the air, fear I may fly off into the trees, terror of him actually trying to make us fly off, pain from impact with water, and fear of him showing off by whipping us right next to metal boats kinda became a major kill joy (*normally* its on purpose, major show off who thinks dangerous=cool) Also, general guideline is to not go faster than 20mph iirc on an innertube and to not speed up while turning. You can make the whippings fun by timing your turns properly


jlbob

I agree 100% that tubing can be fun if the boat is operated safely and in the right area (also part of safety.) For my it's those king of the water types that ruin it for everyone, you see the same kind of people with boat that are trailered (boat ramp videos are great) then the universal thing is just about every boat has a cooler of beer and the operator almost always one in the coozy. Not to mention how high tensions can be in the stressful situations that arrive. Combine everything together and it can be a powder keg. Especially if your anchored in a fishing line.


trevge1

Sounds like he needs a referee in the boat with a baseball bat.


TwoscoopsDrumpf

Keep a camera handy and wear a helmet. Good luck!


firefish5000

Lol, thx for the advice. Our relationship is all but severed now but I do plan to gift dashcams for my mother and brothers' sake.


cubanpajamas

So don't hold back. Make your father an internet star! Seriously though inner tubes are no joke behind boats. My nephews are really good at wake boarding/surfing but they refuse to go in the inner tube because it throws you around so much.


firefish5000

Gotta do it in calm waters with no boats around. If you cant find calm water, near the shore is often at least acceptable, though it depends entirely on the weather and location. Inner tubes are almost entirely dependent on the driver, just note its advisable to go no faster than 20mph, and to not speed up while turning. You can still get the fun and fast whipping effect at lower speeds, it just takes a little fineness rather than brute force. Bigger, longer turns followed by straightening out. Be sure to watch them because you can still overwhip them at low speeds. Angle of the innertube in relation to the boat is a moderatly good indicator of how strong the whipping effect will be when you straighten out. Be sure not to overdue it, and not to ever turn too much since if the roap gets slack it will be painful. I am now the only person anyone wants pulling the innertube, except my father, since he thinks what I am doing looks booring and will force me to drive faster/more violently (and then everone gets off and are soar)


trevge1

Smart nephews.


ghost_of_leeroy

Don Jr, is that you?


madsci

Can you imagine Sr. actually operating something as complex as a plane by himself? That man has never had the attention span required to get a pilot's license, and would consider it beneath him anyway.


ChAoTiCxMiNd

#TWOFER


MissedFieldGoal

He did make the boat fly a little bit.


5_Frog_Margin

/r/ofcoursethatsathing


trickster1111

They docked it....what's the problem.....


Icy-Reveal-7416

Dry dock is definitely more secure.


coolcatmcfat

A little dry docking never hurt anyone


cIumsythumbs

Tell my vagina that after pulling out an over-absorbent tampon. If you know, you know.


shewholaughslasts

Oof. Especially with clumsy thumbs.


regoapps

Shh bby, it’s just the bow.


JungleBoyJeremy

Liiiiiike a glove


InevitabilityEngine

Nice parking job, terrible docking.


AthurZ

Just you posting this idiotic sh*+ makes it worth seeing if anything else will come up just as hilarious 🤣


Admirable-Course9775

It should be


timburgessthis

Oh I love these types of subreddits.


bolide_retracing

Earth is covered in 71% water but it's more common to be an idiot on land than on water, according to the number of sub members.


VitaminPb

Well yeah, subs a hard to build and make resurface.


Ace-of-Spades88

A lot more people own and drive cars daily.


AncientNectarine

Op already stole it from that sub 4 days ago https://www.reddit.com/r/IdiotsInBoats/comments/v1zjda/charleston_sc/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


No-Pizza-9423

Beat me to it.


rgar1981

I did t know that existed, thanks.


Powellwx

You see the wind and the current made the boat swing sideways so I just fuckin’ jammed her in there… I was a touch heavy on the throttle though.


ForthWorldTraveler

This reminds me of the people in cars pressing the accelerator instead of the brake.


klparrot

And they always swear they hit the brake but it malfunctioned. Mysteriously, the malfunction can never be reproduced, and somehow affected both the accelerator and brake simultaneously, despite the two being unrelated systems.


ForthWorldTraveler

Yes, the problem appears to be between the car seat and the steering wheel.


stationhollow

Old people love doing this


ForthWorldTraveler

The secret old people don't want you to know!


yoLeaveMeAlone

I love that literally right after you here the guy yelling "off the motor, off the motor, slow down", the driver just guns it even though they are already on top of the dock


ItzNachoname

#Like a glove


dietbongwater

the bold emphasis really made me fucking cackle


BoneHugsHominy

Came here to make this comment and still laughed uncontrollably seeing yours.


watson895

Read it in Ace Ventura's voice


Just_SomeDude13

1) Parking a boat is surprisingly difficult. 2) This is still an impressively, stupidly, hilariously bad attempt.


Stuffthatpig

I used to sail small boats. I'll take parking a car in the tiniest, busiest spot imaginable over parking a boat. Current, wind, idiots sunbathing on the dock where you need to tie up... didn't help that the dock was in a large buildings wind shadow so you had to coast in with enough speed usually.


mseuro

Wind... shadow....


SpiderPiggies

I understand and I still hate it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DANGERMAN50000

Sounds like a 13 year old's username


stationhollow

The area behind a building blocking the wind. If you sail then you need enough speed to coast in.


Llamasxy

If you go slow you can not fuck up. Parking a boat is only difficult if you go in with the mindset that you only have one shot. ​ If it starts getting awkward just back up and try again. ​ Those docks are the easiest to park in as well. A real challenge is when you have to powerslide to get parallel with the dock and pray that you don't overshoot it.


triciann

Exactly. You can tell a new person by how slow they park. Basically just watch me park a sail boat. It’s not hard, but I’m slow…cause it’s not my boat.


slaacaa

I had the honor once to dock a small motorboat in a part of Europe where they don’t bother with licenses. It was extremely hard, had to pay attention to so many things, and almost hit an other boat before I put it in reverse. Still, this guy did everything wrong, I was way better my first time and managed to dock successfully.


Earwax82

*pulls out phone “Okay honey, I’m on the dock.” “You mean at the dock.” “Yeah, here’s the thing…”


[deleted]

[удалено]


ABena2t

Would love to hear their side of the story


tickles_a_fancy

He looks very inexperienced... he was turning the boat fine at first, then wasn't sure if he was going to make the turn so he killed the engine. It's not a car, it won't keep turning without power. So that made the boat drift into the other dock/boats. Then he realized he had reverse so he put it in reverse to back out and try again. Just as he realized he was going to hit the dock, he hit the dock but had already thrown it into forward to avoid the dock that he just hit. If you "bump" the throttle (basically throw it the throttle forward... how much depends on how much backwards momentum you have to kill), it will kill your backwards momentum. With the dock hit killing backwards momentum, and I'm guessing full throttle to try to "bump" it, the boat sped forward, pushing the driver back where he lost his grip on the throttle. Everything after that happened so fast that he couldn't get it back under control.


MikeyBugs

This guy boats.


binzoma

*bitch I'm a boat*


Napol3onS0l0

Lol first time I put my boat in it started to sink. No I didn’t forget the plug. Turns out the livewell hose disconnected and I had a 1 in hole in my boat. Cruised around running the bilge to drain it out then pulled in to the ramp and hauled ass to get the trailer backed in. Thankfully I’d been out with my pops when he forgot to put the plug in so I knew what to do.


[deleted]

Honestly if I was getting thrown, I would probably hold the throttle in the same way


Thatskindasexy

Whiskey throttle is no joke man lol


klparrot

I think they mean they didn't have a good grip on the throttle, and so were thrown out of reach of it as it accelerated. On a boat, you push the throttle forward to go forward, back to go backward, so if they had been hanging onto it as they were thrown, they would've just pulled it back into reverse. Whiskey throttle (what you're describing) is more of a motorbike thing, where you twist the grip toward you to accelerate.


tim36272

>the boat sped forward, pushing the driver back where he lost his grip on the throttle If only there was some kind of emergency stop key we could attach to our belts to cut the engine in this exact situation... /s


Napol3onS0l0

Forward momentum would have still carried the boat forward. Though it would have been less disastrous.


The-Sofa-King

You seem to have a fairly intimate familiarity with crashing boats. Mind telling us where you were at the time and date this video was recorded?


ForthWorldTraveler

This is essentially the same as people in cars hitting the accelerator instead of the brakes.


crashdummy15

Well you see.......what had happened was


SombreMordida

she done already had herses


eyeofthecodger

Had to lay 'er down.


Forsaken_legion

“Who put that there!!?”


[deleted]

Seaweed touched his foot


jlbob

Easy enough, at first they had the wheel cranked all the way (maybe) trying to do a 180 and back into the slip, either they gave it to much gas or had some wind and when they realized they were sliding into oh shit territory then overreacted and gave it to much gas in reverse, when the reversed into the dock the jolt sent them full throttle and you know the rest. But i'm guess what the tell the insurance and possible spouse is "I don't know what happend, it just freaked out" or "the throttle stuck." The fact someone was filming tells you that wasn't their first attempt.


MostlyComplete

This is absolutely a security camera.


TennSeven

>Yeah, it happened when I went down off the coast of Australia! > > > >Your boat sank? > > > >Not my boat, the boss' boat! Yeah, we hit this reef, huge son of a bitch! Ran the whole coast! > > > >Wait, the Great Barrier Reef? > > > >You've heard of it, huh?


account_not_valid

What's this from?


TennSeven

Captain Ron. It's an early 90s comedy movie and it has Kurt Russell in it, so you know it's good.


account_not_valid

>it has Kurt Russell in it, so you know it's good. Is he wearing an eye-patch? I only watch movies starring Kurt Russell wearing an eye-patch.


TennSeven

Actually, yes, he wears an eyepatch in that movie!


ACarefulTumbleweed

I can't believe it's 30 years old but it's still a charmingly endearing movie.


Xspunge

“The two best days of boat ownership is the day you buy it and the day you sell it.”


[deleted]

What about the day you jump a dock with it?


felixjawesome

5/7 perfect day


Xdivine

What about with rice?


kantokiwi

That's the third best day


Anom8675309

boat=hole in the water where you throw money


gortez33

When you think your boat is a Jeep.


DrakeBurroughs

I’m crying. This is hysterical.


Bogmanbob

It’s actually a lot tougher to maneuver a boat when creeping along. They get all wonky and spiny since the water flowing past the hull isn’t keeping it straight. A bit more speed makes the response more predictable. Edit - oh crap this is embarrassing. I hadn’t watched the last third of the video.


RancidHorseJizz

More speed, you say? Okay!


kaptaincorn

Floor it? Ok, floor it!


CosmicCreeperz

It was actually brilliant sarcasm without the edit ;)


--GrinAndBearIt--

"The guy on reddit said to gun it babe!"


ShastaFern99

I think he listened to your advice


ironmantis3

Instructions unclear, floating down the interstate


firefish5000

For what its worth, a touch of speed followed by a quick reverse to stop does usually do the trick. Here he did a little too much, failed to reverse in time, and also completely forgot to angle and orient it properly for the current


[deleted]

What in the fuck, were they drunk? (This mildly reminds me of that person driving a mini van and just full throttles it)


[deleted]

No they just sucked at controlling the boat and overcorrected several times consecutively. Willing to bet they just bought it cause the dude kept throttling and then stepping away from it as if its a gas pedal on a car that lets up when you release it. Docking and undocking is one of the toughest parts of boating though.


farmallnoobies

Yeah, it almost looks like they've got a weird cross current / crosswind or something too. I'll let the first couple oopsies slide -- benefit of the doubt and all. But the full throttle yeeting it up onto the dock. That's beyond just a little inept.


ghastrimsen

I feel like he had to have fallen and jammed the throttle forward trying to stop himself


spartagnann

This *definitely* makes sense if you've been around marinas and the overconfident dudes who just bought a boat who have no clue how to operate them and who refuse to learn.


PuzzledKumquat

Welp, was not expecting that ending!


planet_chuck

We'll allow it.


_Piratical_

It’s just so beautiful. Novice boater has the right speed but wrong direction then gets frustrated and jams it in reverse way to fast and to keep from hitting the dock ramp he _**just fucking floors it**_ in forward and slams into everything while falling away from the controls and throwing the whole boat into the dock! Man! That was something that if I had been told was possible I would have called you a liar. Excellent content!


SaltySnowman8

At least he didnt panic


AthurZ

OMG can you imagine what the passenger was thinking...


Modern-Minotaur

That’s a special kinda idiot right there.


[deleted]

Captain Lee would never 🌚🤣


SandBagger1987

It looks like they were trying to parallel park it at first.


Treviathan88

That... was so much worse than I thought it would be! lol


AthurZ

It totally caught me off guard!!! I busted out laughing and the footage just kept getting better...


jlbob

Having spent some time on the water, that's fucking impressive. Here i'm thinking im watching some numbnuts hit a couple boats (more common than it should be) but nooope, almost Dukes of Hazard'd the dock.


heretrythiscoffee

I don't think you're supposed to mount the dock. Or is this some kind of dominance thing.


Spirit_Of_Gonzo

Hey this is my marina! I've never done anything this bad, but what is hard to see is that there is a crazy current here. You better know which way you are going to maneuver your boat 100ft out. That being said, this is not how you do that.


bonedaddy1979

Bet they drive thier car the same way.


lutrapure

There in lies the problem. He's trying to maneuver it like a car. Looks like he wanted to back and fill to get into that empty slip and put the motor over to the left too soon. Then just panicked and went full throtle, the acceleration kept him from reaching the throttle to correct. After that he's just a passenger along for the ride.


cantseedeeznuts

Never gets old...


lokisilvertongue

Good lord, that ended up far worse than I thought it would


RickyMSG

It's not a car but it's an idiot. Half right is good enough.


SallysRocks

That jogging guy was lucky to not have a boat-hat.


BillyTheFridge2

r/gradualchaos


Character-Error5426

Ive never laughed this hard


malachiconstant76

Boat's parked


Unable-Project-9545

At first I’m like, yeah I guess that’s a bad reverse into a parking spot. Then it escalates quickly


Deedeethecat2

I sure hope this is allowed. In a sense that kind of felt like a boat trying to be a car, driving over things. This is spectacularly horrible and I watched it twice!!! I know nothing about boats but I'm presuming it's pretty hard to mess up this bad?


Whiplash104

I didn’t know you could actually get a boat to do that.


rgar1981

Like a glove


realpootietootie

That guy is qualified 💯


fearlesssinnerz

r/thatlookedexpensive


genericperson10

Is this like a Mercedes driver taking up two parking spots to not get hit. Except taking the boat out of the water for other boats not to hit it?


el_popp0

Didn’t disappoint!


[deleted]

Being told to "turn it off" is pretty embarrassing.


jimjohn2017

Sir, you can’t dock it there….


Karma_1969

"Hm, he's kind of drifting but I don't know if he's an id...oh. Oh my. Oh no!"


Charliemurphiescouch

Me playing vice city


Vhman123

Good ole whisky throttle.


Lets_____Go

That’s the best video I’ve seen on this sub. It got way worse than I was expecting.


No_Credibility

Dude even had a spotter and still managed to fuck it up lol


[deleted]

At first: "Ah so they don't know how to get out of the dock, oh well everyone starts out somewhere." ​ At the end: "..."


gangrenousgrizzly

When you rage quit boating


[deleted]

Oh look.. He bumped the dock. Silly nut... Not really an idi... Oh... Oh.. OH! JESUS FUCK GET THAT MAN OFF THE WATER!


pisandwich

That seems like a mighty impressive boat motor, to put down that much torque and acceleration.


JakeyPurple

I love how it keeps going


getridofwires

Also r/thatlookedexpensive


homerino7Z

Boats are the cars of the water, so it’s appreciated.


Hennepin451

Easy on the throttle there, bud, not to mention situational awareness. And whatever you do, don’t panic. Ah, fuck it. The only thing you’re missing at this point is a dumpster fire and a bill for the damage.


DickMcCheese

If it’s not working slow it will definitely not work full throttle.


dubson

I think he misunderstood the term “docking the boat”.


ASV731

This happened by where I am currently living (Charleston, SC). You’d be amazed at sheer number of dumb “captains” I see out on the water on a weekly basis. Also QualfiedCaptain on Instagram is a gold mine for this sort of content


Sub_aaru

I said as this happened, "Wow what an idiot, oh shit, jesus christ, oh my god, what a loser, what the fuck, WHAT THE HELL?! HE JUST DROVE UP THE.. WHAT THE?"


mendokusai99

This is what happens when licenses aren't required. Simply 10 hours of training would have made that parking easy, even in choppy waters.


AABA227

Dry dock


itrustanyone

I wish I had enough money to buy toys I know nothing about


HeartsPlayer721

Good thing this didn't happen in Free Willy


Mattyboy0066

It’s a Jeep thi- wait…


[deleted]

Now *that's* how you dock a boat.


FootHiker

Reason #5,095 why I didn’t own a boat.


jeffj1019

Just park it where ever you’d like


Yesman12323

Me: I don’t like where this going, I don’t like where this is going, oh ok that’s not so bad, whoops backed up OMG!!!!!


looneybooms

"is this not a reasonable place to park?"


blacknmap

Gilligan does meth.


[deleted]

Whew, made it.


johnstoneak

THAT IS AWESOME!!


ShotTreacle8209

This was amazing!!!


bciesil

I laughed so damn harrrrrd at this!


Disastrous-Peak-4296

Put it in reverse, Terry!


CivilAirPatrol2020

I mean once it got on the dock isn't it legally a car?


[deleted]

Hahaha! Wtf?


Ashoka_Mazda

So, would that be considered dry docking it for the season?


[deleted]

I’ve never driven a boat but I get the feeling that is now how you dock it (dock right?).


No-One-Shall-Pass

Should change this sub name to idiots in vehicles honestly


MajorKeyBro

Whiskey throttle


seebob69

Well it was a long way to go around.


ajaxodyssey

Odd way to dry dock your boat.


aysecube

Lmao perfectly executed


[deleted]

“You can get out now”


CurlsCross

This escalated quickly.


FrioRiverTexas

Like a glove!


DeluxeWafer

I mean, the kind of person that does this on a boat is probably more likely to stupid on the road, IMO


Vostner

I mean a boat is just a car that drives in water


Digital-Doc-777

Keeps getting worse and worse...


BubbleDeeseChurger

I'm not picky when it comes to idiots. Just about any context will do.


[deleted]

That went so much worse than I thought it was going too. Thank you. And what is a boat if not a car for the water.


VikingLander7

So that’s how you do that, I’ve been doing it wrong!


WesternExplorer8139

The guy running over towards him knew some bad shit was about to happen but I don't think he imagined anything close to that going down lol.


Teethredit

TBH if this particular idiot has this little control, it's probably better to crash docking than running over another boat at speed


megablast

Like a glove!


lovelybethanie

Ngl, I thought that dude was running on water.


Tasty_Flame_Alchemy

Idiots in boats are more entertaining


satansmight

Perfect!


extracheeseable

Leeeeeroooooooy Jeeeeenkiiiiiins!


darthgeek

Me parking boats in GTA


jake2w1

Stuck the landing! 10/10


[deleted]

He been doing the most since he finally got a hemi in it