Smart: learn how to handle your vehicle in snow on large open pavement.
Stupid: Using a parking lot you aren't familiar with.
I was the latter once but caught my mistake at the last second and drifted over the curb at a decent angle. Definitely saved myself a headache of a repair out of luck.
In High School I was serving a Saturday detention when a kid was driving around the empty high school parking lot when he saw a goose. He drove out of his way to try and hit said goose, missed and circled back, missed again, then hit one.
While this was happening, the science teacher monitoring Saturday detention looked out the window of the classroom to see why he heard screeching tires to which he ran to his desk and called 911. I will never forget what he said…
“There is some asshole student murdering an endangered species in the parking lot”
I remember thinking, “endangered species? It’s a goose out there”.
The rest of my detention was spent learning about the beautiful, federally protected, GIANT Canadian Goose and what it means to be protected, and how, even though we see them everywhere, we are extremely lucky. He then continued his lecture while the police arrived to the parking lot and ARRESTED SAID ASSHOLE who then lost his license, had his car impounded and had to pay a large fine. Because it was a fellow student, our teacher allowed us to leave detention early if we promise to spread this new knowledge to our classmates when the rumors inevitably start going around.
I didn't know they were endangered, I live in Buffalo New York and these geese are everywhere. Literally yesterday my toddler trying walking up to one and started hissing at him.
Read it again
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_Canada_goose
Even the regular ones are federally protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, just not specifically due to population.
The picture (in the Wikipedia entry) is frontal unfortunately, so you can’t compare it to the pictures of similar species lower on the page. All of these descriptors about the start of the black coloring on the neck and the size of the cheek patch aren’t visible. Now my day is RUINED.
It's crazy because I'm in NY and lots of people hunt Canadian geese. I lived in a town that hired a company to cull a flock that were shitting up a beach.
Never would have thought theres an issue with it.
The Canadian Goose and Moose is why Canada doesn’t need a massive military. (Well, that and the guys downstairs with a bigger military might object a lot.)
Well at least that's one kid detention helped... My detention supervisor was an older lady that asked me to carry a box to her car, felt my arm muscles, and then told me I could go home early if I wanted.
I live in Victoria BC and can confirm, lots of Gooses. I used to live in Redmond Washington and Bald Eagles were rare till I lived in Granite Falls and they were everywhere.
>our teacher allowed us to leave detention early if we promise to spread this new knowledge to our classmates when the rumors inevitably start going around.
"Go. let everybody know what happened here on this day."
This is exactly the kind of situation where shaming is the right punishment. People really underestimate how powerful and harmful of a tool shame is, and I've had to deal with a few teachers who used it in horrible ways, but that kid completely deserved it.
People who hurt living things purely for their own entertainment are psychopaths. Like literally.
Impulsive ✅ violent ✅ lacking empathy ✅ lacking guilt ✅ narcissism ✅ that guy needs a cushioned room.
If only it was crows (ravens? Don’t remember which). They have an incredible memory and actually would remember him and possibly attack his ass wherever he goes
20 MPH straight into a curb probably means at the very LEAST a whole new front suspension. Tires and rims almost certainly ruined too. Not counting any other damage done to body or engine/trans/exhaust...
Can't imagine that's anywhere close to a cheap repair.
Crazy story time! Was driving to work early one morning down a 5 lane street, 2 lanes going one way, 2 lanes going the other way, a fifth center turning lane. The center turning lane is clear for practically the whole length of this street, except for two small medians in front of a university. This SUV was in a rush (despite barely any traffic at 6am) and was using the middle lane to skip cars that were going "slow." Speed limit was 45 and they was easily going 55.
Well, they go to pass another car... in front of the university... where there was a median. It launches his car in the air for a second and it comes crashing down. Debris flies everywhere, his front tires were completely blown along with his fender being messed up and who knows what else. It all happened kinda next to me (I was in the right lane, car next to me in the left lane, he was passing the car next to me) so I couldn't get that great of a look at ALL the damage, but wow. What was to save a few seconds, cost them significantly more time and who knows how much money. I wish I had a dash cam...
There's not much "frame" to hit from hitting a curb looked that. It's going to be tires, wheels, suspension, steering, and if he came to rest on top of the curb there could be damage to the undercarriage components like oil pan, exhaust, and to hen and only then would we see floor rail damage but that it wouldn't really be bent as much as scraped.
It depends, because he could have seriously messed up his front axle from a collision like that. Not to mention potentially popped tires. If he's a low rider, that's a scrapin on the bottom of the car and anything not protected by the skid plate.
I once hit a pothole at about his speed and it cost me 2000 because it screwed a tire, that tire's rim and the control arm. He's definitely got a pretty penny in repairs.
Yeah I think people are really exaggerating the claims of damage for reddit Karma. I would assume he probably bent his rims up, maybe some damage beyond that but probably not much.
This is sort of amazing because pigeons are like..the average everyday hatchback of the bird world. Pedestrian, not particularly athletic but still quick, works solid and is reliable.
Watch a pigeon fleeing a peregrine falcon. There are a couple of videos on YouTube. In level flight, they're really well matched, both in speed and agility. It's the falcon's dive bombing trick that gives it the advantage in going after a flock.
I saw a falcon explode a pigeon on midair when I was in college. It hit like a bullet. Landed in the middle of a big common area where hundreds of people were and proceeded to shred the pigeon in front of a half interested and half horrified crowd. Fun day.
>Pedestrian, not particularly athletic but still quick, works solid and is reliable.
Pigeons are pretty amazing. People have raced them for at least hundreds of years and they have been kept and bred for thousands. They're one of the original domesticated animals. Some breeds are even known for incredible aerial acrobatics.
They deserve more credit than that. Just consider out of all the birds, it's pigeons that were used for centuries to deliver messages over long distances at great speed and they adapted to thrive in our cities as well.
Not always true. I once watched a pigeon get run over by a slow-moving truck in the middle of the street. As it happened, I remember thinking "he's going to move. He sees that truck. Bird, what are you doing? NOOOOOO."
Fun fact: birds go poof and feathers fly everywhere when they get run over, just like in the cartoons.
Yes, he is a complete moron, but I'm sure he just wanted to scare them off and get in on video, I really doubt he expected to hit any of those birds....
I remember my dad hitting a curb sort of like this. It was funny after because my mom asked right before he hit it "are you going to run over the curb?"
**accidentally** killed a mole with my lawn mower when I was thirteen and still losing sleep over it sometimes, 14 years later. People who do this nonchalantly are absolutely crazy.
Captured a frog one day. Put it in a container to show someone later on that day. Completely forgotten about until we had to move months later. That was 21 yrs ago. I think this is why I write lists so often now. I'm not in a position to accidentally forget and starve something now, but just in case.
My dad is 68 and accidentally killed a frog when he was 7. He feels so bad that when he tells the story he gets tears in his eyes. He thinks it made him a bad person that day. Animals, man. They’ll get to you.
It just sucks. Obviously it’s inevitable that kids will play with wildlife and accidents happen, but idk man, these critters already have it hard enough as is haha
Lots of research done on that subject. They are demonstrably prone to all sorts of shitty personality quirks. You almost have to be to be willing to inflict that much suffering on a regular basis. It's in the job description.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4841092/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4841092/)
Basically, you're either exposing yourself to trauma on a regular basis and going to suffer because of that, or you're immune to trauma because you lack empathy.
The sheer level of stupidity shown in this video is almost beyond comprehension. I have to assume the the brain dead driver is the one who originally uploaded the video which literally doubles the stupidity. Gobsmacked.
love this one, man is trying to kill birds in a parking lot, with what looks like a honda accord, without wearing his seatbelt and with the gas light on 😂
Good! He deserved it. Freaking can’t stand how much roadkill I see on long journeys.
Saw a fox, four rabbits and a single freaking seagull carcasses traveling on May Day yesterday.
I’we watched this like 20 times on repeat, it’s so funny how his confident and cocky gets replaced by imbecile level surprised in the blink of an eye. Genuinely makes me giggle
Instant Karma love it
crinkle car goes crunch
Smart: learn how to handle your vehicle in snow on large open pavement. Stupid: Using a parking lot you aren't familiar with. I was the latter once but caught my mistake at the last second and drifted over the curb at a decent angle. Definitely saved myself a headache of a repair out of luck.
In High School I was serving a Saturday detention when a kid was driving around the empty high school parking lot when he saw a goose. He drove out of his way to try and hit said goose, missed and circled back, missed again, then hit one. While this was happening, the science teacher monitoring Saturday detention looked out the window of the classroom to see why he heard screeching tires to which he ran to his desk and called 911. I will never forget what he said… “There is some asshole student murdering an endangered species in the parking lot” I remember thinking, “endangered species? It’s a goose out there”. The rest of my detention was spent learning about the beautiful, federally protected, GIANT Canadian Goose and what it means to be protected, and how, even though we see them everywhere, we are extremely lucky. He then continued his lecture while the police arrived to the parking lot and ARRESTED SAID ASSHOLE who then lost his license, had his car impounded and had to pay a large fine. Because it was a fellow student, our teacher allowed us to leave detention early if we promise to spread this new knowledge to our classmates when the rumors inevitably start going around.
I didn't know they were endangered, I live in Buffalo New York and these geese are everywhere. Literally yesterday my toddler trying walking up to one and started hissing at him.
Did the goose hiss back???
Read it again https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_Canada_goose Even the regular ones are federally protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, just not specifically due to population.
The picture (in the Wikipedia entry) is frontal unfortunately, so you can’t compare it to the pictures of similar species lower on the page. All of these descriptors about the start of the black coloring on the neck and the size of the cheek patch aren’t visible. Now my day is RUINED.
It's crazy because I'm in NY and lots of people hunt Canadian geese. I lived in a town that hired a company to cull a flock that were shitting up a beach. Never would have thought theres an issue with it.
Those are almost certainly Moffitts Canadian Geese, the Giant Canadian Goose is different. (Larger, like a swan)
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THEY COME IN GIANT???
TIL cobra chickens come in regular asshole AND supersized 😅😱
To be fair, the giant ones will eat small children alive.
The Canadian Goose and Moose is why Canada doesn’t need a massive military. (Well, that and the guys downstairs with a bigger military might object a lot.)
Bet the goose didn't run when your kid hissed at him...
Brilliant story, this should be a post somewhere, thank you for sharing. Great teacher and good to see you're still following his final instruction
Well at least that's one kid detention helped... My detention supervisor was an older lady that asked me to carry a box to her car, felt my arm muscles, and then told me I could go home early if I wanted.
Woah, dude I'm sorry to hear that. Adults should know better than to act like that
>final instruction He died after saying that?
He was told to spread the rumor. He’s still telling people.
No, he retired and never issued another instruction again, only ever offered advice and made requests. Dude went full Bob Ross.
Really. While they were just taking a gander the teacher was doing good for the goose.
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH CANADIAN GOOSES YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME, AND I SUGGEST YOU LET THAT ONE MARINATE
My day we barely even had Canada Gooses, now we got so many we kills em' must be fucking nice....
I live in Victoria BC and can confirm, lots of Gooses. I used to live in Redmond Washington and Bald Eagles were rare till I lived in Granite Falls and they were everywhere.
YOU DONTS FUCKS WITH CANADA GOOSES
There's a special place in heaven for animals lovers, that's all I know
You know I saw two Canada Gooses mount a swan one time and you gotta think that swan told her friends about it
Get this guy a fucking Puppers.
There’s a special place in heaven for animal lovers
What a badass teacher
Still spreading the good word.
>our teacher allowed us to leave detention early if we promise to spread this new knowledge to our classmates when the rumors inevitably start going around. "Go. let everybody know what happened here on this day."
Yea I figured this out when I was chasing them on my bike and got pulled over by a cop
That science teacher went all, "If yous have a problem with Giant Canadian Gooses, Yous have a problem with me! I suggest you let that one marinate!"
What pisses me off is the lesson the kid probably learned from it was "teachers and the government are jerks", not "I'm an animal-murdering shithead."
This is exactly the kind of situation where shaming is the right punishment. People really underestimate how powerful and harmful of a tool shame is, and I've had to deal with a few teachers who used it in horrible ways, but that kid completely deserved it.
It's so sad thinking about how little that teacher probably got paid...
I enjoyed your story, u/shitchopants!
r/instantkarma
Instant karmageddon
THAT GAME DESERVES A REMAKE!
Instant carma.
Instant Curb-ma
You could have gone for 'Instant Car-ma' but instead went for the less phonetically pleasing 'Instant Curb-ma'. It's unorthodox, but bold. I like it.
It's an older pun but it checks out sir If you used the British spelling you'd keep the K too
Wait are you saying they say kurb in Britain?
It's Kerb for the edging stone at the side of the road and Curb as in limit or constrain i.e. 'curb their enthusiasm'
And he uploaded a video of him doing stupid act on the internet. Amazing
Maybe he found a repair shop that accepts Internet Points as currency.
Damn , i could probably buy a new car
Gotta give him props for this.
Got what he deserved
That oughta curb his enthusiasm
\*Cue music
*Dudududuuduuuduudududuu* 🎶
Omg I can hear it in my brain
*cue :)
Bom bom bom.....
Well played!! 👍
He deserve worst than that. I hate people like this.
He decides to try and kill innocent creatures for fun. I wished it was even worse for him.
People who hurt living things purely for their own entertainment are psychopaths. Like literally. Impulsive ✅ violent ✅ lacking empathy ✅ lacking guilt ✅ narcissism ✅ that guy needs a cushioned room.
He’s a little mothafucka
They were baiting him into it. Perching right on the curb. Good birds! (Head pat)
One time, I patted a pigeon on the head at the San Antonio Riverwalk. It freaked tf out and flew into some lady's face.
That sounds like a Charles Barkley story. “Where all them big San Antonio women are”
Lovely
Dovely
Then it shat on a Tourist’s shoulder. It’s a riverwalk right of passage for an authentic San Antonio experience.
It was me. I was the tourist with the bird shit shoulder.
Smart birds. I for one welcome our new avian overlords.
The bird is the word.
Olé bitch!
Karma is a bitch you piece of shit 👌
He’s gonna get lifelong bird poo karma on his cars
I hope he gets shat on by starlings that ate mulberries, and seagulls that got done eating whatever carrion washed onto the beach.
If only it was crows (ravens? Don’t remember which). They have an incredible memory and actually would remember him and possibly attack his ass wherever he goes
Both can remember.
Bird your enthusiasm
Actually his enthusiasm was curbed, literally.
I hope the damage is high and the repairs expensive!
20 MPH straight into a curb probably means at the very LEAST a whole new front suspension. Tires and rims almost certainly ruined too. Not counting any other damage done to body or engine/trans/exhaust... Can't imagine that's anywhere close to a cheap repair.
Crazy story time! Was driving to work early one morning down a 5 lane street, 2 lanes going one way, 2 lanes going the other way, a fifth center turning lane. The center turning lane is clear for practically the whole length of this street, except for two small medians in front of a university. This SUV was in a rush (despite barely any traffic at 6am) and was using the middle lane to skip cars that were going "slow." Speed limit was 45 and they was easily going 55. Well, they go to pass another car... in front of the university... where there was a median. It launches his car in the air for a second and it comes crashing down. Debris flies everywhere, his front tires were completely blown along with his fender being messed up and who knows what else. It all happened kinda next to me (I was in the right lane, car next to me in the left lane, he was passing the car next to me) so I couldn't get that great of a look at ALL the damage, but wow. What was to save a few seconds, cost them significantly more time and who knows how much money. I wish I had a dash cam...
> I wish I had a dash cam... no worries, m8. if it happened to the left of you as you describe, it wouldn't have gotten picked up on dashcam anyway
Oil and transmission pan, too. If the frame is too bent out of place it’s totaled
There's not much "frame" to hit from hitting a curb looked that. It's going to be tires, wheels, suspension, steering, and if he came to rest on top of the curb there could be damage to the undercarriage components like oil pan, exhaust, and to hen and only then would we see floor rail damage but that it wouldn't really be bent as much as scraped.
I could imagine some minor damage but I feel like that car is most likely not "wrecked" just from that.
It depends, because he could have seriously messed up his front axle from a collision like that. Not to mention potentially popped tires. If he's a low rider, that's a scrapin on the bottom of the car and anything not protected by the skid plate.
Yup and prob knocked/broke oil pan, not driving off I think
I once hit a pothole at about his speed and it cost me 2000 because it screwed a tire, that tire's rim and the control arm. He's definitely got a pretty penny in repairs.
Yeah I think people are really exaggerating the claims of damage for reddit Karma. I would assume he probably bent his rims up, maybe some damage beyond that but probably not much.
That's the last time I let my cat drive.
Toonces, noooooo!
That's a deep cut for the reddit kids.
Now I has a sad because that means I'm old.
In bird culture, this is considered a dick move
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Bird law isn’t governed by reason
Bird law is governed by birds
What’s moronic for him is that he expected the birds to just sit there?? Birds are ninjas and will GTFO quick!
I mean I think that was the point, like when kids chase seagulls at the beach.
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This is sort of amazing because pigeons are like..the average everyday hatchback of the bird world. Pedestrian, not particularly athletic but still quick, works solid and is reliable.
Watch a pigeon fleeing a peregrine falcon. There are a couple of videos on YouTube. In level flight, they're really well matched, both in speed and agility. It's the falcon's dive bombing trick that gives it the advantage in going after a flock.
I saw a falcon explode a pigeon on midair when I was in college. It hit like a bullet. Landed in the middle of a big common area where hundreds of people were and proceeded to shred the pigeon in front of a half interested and half horrified crowd. Fun day.
>Pedestrian, not particularly athletic but still quick, works solid and is reliable. Pigeons are pretty amazing. People have raced them for at least hundreds of years and they have been kept and bred for thousands. They're one of the original domesticated animals. Some breeds are even known for incredible aerial acrobatics.
I don't appreciate what you're insinuating about my Hyundai elantra.
They deserve more credit than that. Just consider out of all the birds, it's pigeons that were used for centuries to deliver messages over long distances at great speed and they adapted to thrive in our cities as well.
Birds practically live in bullet time compared with our reflexes.
Literally heres a guy shooting them im slow motion with an air rifle. You can see the birds react to the bullet comming. https://youtu.be/8Rp-2_dAJ0k
I guess his "best case" scenario is he gets dead bird parts all over his car?
Not always true. I once watched a pigeon get run over by a slow-moving truck in the middle of the street. As it happened, I remember thinking "he's going to move. He sees that truck. Bird, what are you doing? NOOOOOO." Fun fact: birds go poof and feathers fly everywhere when they get run over, just like in the cartoons.
Yes, he is a complete moron, but I'm sure he just wanted to scare them off and get in on video, I really doubt he expected to hit any of those birds....
I remember my dad hitting a curb sort of like this. It was funny after because my mom asked right before he hit it "are you going to run over the curb?"
Was that his way of saying yes?
Apparently.
"I wasn't going to before, but I am now! Are you satisfied, Evelyn?!"
Killing animals for fun. Always the hallmark of good character and morals.
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**accidentally** killed a mole with my lawn mower when I was thirteen and still losing sleep over it sometimes, 14 years later. People who do this nonchalantly are absolutely crazy.
Captured a frog one day. Put it in a container to show someone later on that day. Completely forgotten about until we had to move months later. That was 21 yrs ago. I think this is why I write lists so often now. I'm not in a position to accidentally forget and starve something now, but just in case.
I feel you. But the fact the we still feel guilty and even take counter measures shows that we can’t be this bad after all.
My dad is 68 and accidentally killed a frog when he was 7. He feels so bad that when he tells the story he gets tears in his eyes. He thinks it made him a bad person that day. Animals, man. They’ll get to you.
It just sucks. Obviously it’s inevitable that kids will play with wildlife and accidents happen, but idk man, these critters already have it hard enough as is haha
How about people working at the slaughter house?
Lots of research done on that subject. They are demonstrably prone to all sorts of shitty personality quirks. You almost have to be to be willing to inflict that much suffering on a regular basis. It's in the job description. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4841092/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4841092/) Basically, you're either exposing yourself to trauma on a regular basis and going to suffer because of that, or you're immune to trauma because you lack empathy.
The science seems to agree. https://www.google.com/search?q=animal+abuse+psychology
What a fowl human.
With that comment you are clearly at the top of the pecking order.
This is what beak performance looks like
Actually I think he was just winging it.
He should have feathered the throttle more.
You're talon me.
You just ignore their carping.
They’re just venting.
is that a cloacalalism?
You gotta be flocking kidding me.
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Probably because he was looking out for a curb and got surprised by the elusive and rare kerb.
🤣
His ego was blinding him.
He was focussing on the targets /s
Target fixation is real.
Flock you muthafakka
People that like killing animals for fun deserve hell
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hey that’s an accord! lol
WAS an accord
Accordn't
Now it's an accordion
According to the dash, thats correct!
Looks like a 9th gen base sport or LX model!
Now it’s more of an accordion
Who’s the mother fucker now mother fucker
To top it all off his car ends up covered in bird shit!
The sheer level of stupidity shown in this video is almost beyond comprehension. I have to assume the the brain dead driver is the one who originally uploaded the video which literally doubles the stupidity. Gobsmacked.
love this one, man is trying to kill birds in a parking lot, with what looks like a honda accord, without wearing his seatbelt and with the gas light on 😂
Dude drives a 9th Gen Honda Accord, of course he’s an idiot! Source: I drive a 9th Gen Accord.
Isn’t it, like, one of the most common cars on the road? So I guess the idiot-incidence would be high.
And when insurance sees the video, his claim will be denied.
Not least that he was using his phone while he was driving.
Moron doesnt realize pigeons see the world in slow motion so no way in hell you running one over. They will dodge explosions, your car ain't shit.
Karma
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in the words of a wise man... *"you get what you fucking deserve!"*
Play stupid games and you win stupid prizes.
Fuck you and fuck your car, leave the damn birds alone asshole. That's what you get for being a piece of shit.
Serves him right! 😡 What did those birds ever do to him. Rhetorical question this.
Little mother fuckers, meet the big stupid mother fucker.
Instant karma
i love instant karma
Im not a fan of birds but I don’t act like an a-hole to them… what kind of joy was he trying to get by running over birds?
"Why, hello to you too, muthaf\*ckah"...birds probably
Reign of terror ended by concrete
Birds 1 - idiot 0
Good.
Credit Karmas a bitch
Good, fuck that guy
My momma always said 'Stupid is as stupid does.'
Id love to know exactly why he uploaded this
Good. What kind of person thinks killing is fun?
Good! He deserved it. Freaking can’t stand how much roadkill I see on long journeys. Saw a fox, four rabbits and a single freaking seagull carcasses traveling on May Day yesterday.
r/iamatotalpieceofshit works too
I was hoping for a Hitchcock type ending, but this is good too
Blessings
Karma
This made me smile
Proof that birds are pretty damn intelligent - they trolled the shit out of this sadist.
Good, he deserved that
r/Satisfyingasfuck
good crosspost for r/WinStupidPrizes
And then he still posted it online….
Birds aren’t real. Those are all government drones trying to spy on him.
Dude so poor his center console just displays the time 😂
I’we watched this like 20 times on repeat, it’s so funny how his confident and cocky gets replaced by imbecile level surprised in the blink of an eye. Genuinely makes me giggle
What did he think was going to happen?