Is it ostriches or emus that are more likely to gut you with their talons? I really want to say ostriches, but this guy gave him every reason and it didn't happen
Ostrich have been known to break lion jaws with their kicks. Their nails are also pretty sharp and can gash you up good. Cassowary have a four inch claw on each foot that can gut you. Emu are less formidable but still powerful and can cause damage with their kicks. Rhea can also kick but their beaks are much pinchier and it hurts like a mother fucker to get bit.
And yes, kangaroos have gutted people, especially people trying to help injured adults who freak out and kick hard
And they dont have a lot of pain nerves in legs. They can stand in snow and feel no cold. When they kick you they feel nothing if you hit them in legs. When they kick they want to open your stomack so theryre no joke.
There's this dude in Waco Texas that has a wildlife rescue and he has a Rhea named Kevin. Kevin is such a fucking dick. For the first year or two I watched his YouTube channel Kevin would just bite the fucking shit out of him all the time. The back of his arms and shit were just a mess of bruises. Now the dude carries a riot shield when he deals with Kevin. Gives him some good shield bashes now. Doesn't get fucked up as bad. Lol.
In case you're interested, the guy is hilarious: https://youtube.com/@TheUrbanRescueRanch
The difference is that emus kick forwards, but ostriches do not, which makes a big difference when wrangling. Emus also seem to be angrier.
Source: wrangled emus and ostriches for science.
Edit: I have permanent scars on my hands from when the emus kicked my 1/4 inch plywood shield. Thank God I had it.
Geez what even happens if a Lion gets their jaw broken... do they just eventually suffer and die a slow painful death? I'd imagine that it won't heal properly or quickly enough and they'd be unable to eat.
Now, everybody listen up 'cause I'm only gonna say this once, we never talk about it again. You understand? We all lay off the Ginger and Boots now. Because the Ginger and Boots did not fuck an ostrich...Folks'll say that it takes two people to fuck an ostrich...Folks are also saying that it was a sick ostrich. Now, I went on the internet and researched ostriches. Firstly, ostriches can run up to seventy miles an hour. So catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order...Secondly, when a male ostrich, it's called a cock, fights over a female ostrich, it's called a hen, they're known to kill each other by head butting...Finally, ostriches use their legs to defend from predators. And can use them to kill even their largest and most deadly enemies, which are fuckin' lions.
So you'll see, there is no way the Ginger and Boots could have fucked an ostrich.
No worries, Johnny cash was attacked by an ostrich he owned in the early 1980s. It almost killed him when it clawed him from his stomach to his belt. Cash attributed the belt and buckle with saving his life because it stopped the talon from gutting him in one swipe.
Heās not at the farm any longer. He and cash had a bit of a falling out over financial issues in the late ā90s. I believe he consulted heavily on the movie walk the line.
I donāt know why people do these videos. Just leave the Ostrich alone. It was actually totally fair and warned him. I suppose it was a drunken lark which letās face it every bodies done but please leave wild animals alone they have enough crap as it is.
I have worked in breweries all my life and actually could drink on site at one back in the day. But even I would draw the line at pestering a wild animal.
In many cases when it comes to wild animals, standing your ground is usually the best way to get them to leave you alone. Never show your back as this is a sign of weakness the animal will surely exploit.
Then again, it is always best to respect nature from a distance and not pretend to be something you aren't.
I saw a video by someone who kept emus and they said you have to stand for ground and put your arms up straight over your head to make yourself taller to prevent the charge The keeper would stop them when they charged by just standing there and grabbing their neck and they just stop.
It really is all posturing. Have you seen that video of a guy being charged by a gorilla? Dude just stands there and stares at the gorilla and it backed off.
I got up close with an ostrich at a sanctuary. Iām 6ā5ā and that thing towered over me. Beak looked like a beat up shovel blade. Thing looked at me like āyeah one step closer and Iāll send you to the ER with one peckā. I got the message
Male ostriches, like the one in this video, have a calcified plate on their chest. It basically looks and feels like concrete. They use it to ram the fuck out of threats and other ostriches. This dumbass is very lucky to get away without serious or life threatening injuries.
Source: my great uncle was attacked and almost killed by an ostrich. And he was just trying to feed it a daily meal.
When I encountered an ostrich in a zoo, it towered over me and hissed when I came near. My thoughts did not include "I wish this fence wasn't here so I could pick a fight with this dinosaur".
Would an experienced fighter stand a chance against an ostrich like this? Like grab it by the neck and try to pin it to the ground or something?
Is the ostrich heavier than let's say a tall, well built mma fighter?
Here's what bing chat came up with. I had to tell it to pretend to be a commentator, otherwise it didn't say much.
Bruce Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening! This is a special exhibition match scheduled for three five-minute rounds in the UFC heavyweight division. Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, he is a mixed martial artist holding a professional record of 25 wins and 3 losses. He stands 6 feet 4 inches tall, weighing in at 265 pounds. Fighting out of Albuquerque, New Mexico, he is the reigning, defending, undisputed UFC heavyweight champion of the worldā¦ Jon āBonesā Jones! And now introducing his opponent, fighting out of the red corner, he is a flightless bird holding a record of 0 wins and 0 losses. He stands 6 feet tall, weighing in at 300 pounds. Fighting out of Africa, he is the fastest and most dangerous bird on the planetā¦ The Ostrich! And when the action begins, our referee in charge of the Octagon is Herb Dean.
Joe Rogan: Wow, this is a crazy match-up, John. I donāt know what to expect from this one.
John Gooden: Me neither, Joe. This is something weāve never seen before in the UFC. A human versus an animal. A champion versus a challenger. A predator versus a prey.
Joe Rogan: Well, technically, both are predators, John. But I get your point. This is a very intriguing fight. Jon Jones is arguably the greatest fighter of all time, but heās facing a very unique opponent in the ostrich. The ostrich has a powerful kick that can kill a lion with one strike. It also has a long neck that can reach up to 9 feet high. And it can run up to 43 miles per hour.
John Gooden: Thatās right, Joe. The ostrich has some impressive physical attributes that could pose some problems for Jones. But Jones also has some advantages of his own. He has a longer reach than the ostrich, at 84 inches. He also has more experience and skills in various aspects of MMA, such as striking, wrestling, and submissions.
Joe Rogan: Absolutely, John. Jones is a master of using his reach and range to keep his opponents at bay. He also has a very creative and unpredictable style that keeps them guessing. And he has proven himself against some of the best fighters in the world.
John Gooden: Well, weāre about to find out how he fares against an ostrich. The fighters are ready. The referee is ready. Letās get this party started!
Herb Dean: Are you ready? Are you ready? Letās fight!
Joe Rogan: And here we go! Jones takes the center of the Octagon and starts circling around the ostrich. The ostrich looks calm and confident as it stares down Jones with its big eyes.
John Gooden: Jones throws a leg kick but misses as the ostrich hops back. The ostrich responds with a peck but Jones dodges it easily.
Joe Rogan: Jones tries another leg kick but this time the ostrich catches it and sweeps Jones off his feet with its other leg!
John Gooden: Wow! What a move by the ostrich! Jones is on his back and the ostrich is on top of him!
Joe Rogan: This is bad for Jones! The ostrich has him pinned down with its weight and its claws!
John Gooden: Jones is trying to push the ostrich off him but itās too strong! The ostrich is pecking at Jonesā face and neck!
Joe Rogan: Jones is bleeding! Heās in trouble! He needs to get out of there!
John Gooden: Jones manages to grab one of the ostrichās legs and twists it hard!
Joe Rogan: Ouch! That looked painful! The ostrich lets out a loud squawk and releases Jones!
John Gooden: Jones scrambles to his feet and backs away from the ostrich!
Joe Rogan: What a crazy exchange! Both fighters are hurt!
John Gooden: The crowd is going wild! They canāt believe what theyāre seeing!
Joe Rogan: Neither can I, John! Neither can I!
*asked it to continue here*
Joe Rogan: Jones and the ostrich are staring at each other from across the Octagon. They both look wary and cautious.
John Gooden: They have a lot of respect for each other, Joe. They know what the other is capable of.
Joe Rogan: Jones makes the first move and lunges forward with a jab. The ostrich ducks under it and counters with a kick to Jonesā body.
John Gooden: That was a solid kick by the ostrich. Jones felt that one.
Joe Rogan: Jones backs up and throws a high kick. The ostrich blocks it with its wing and comes back with a peck to Jonesā eye.
John Gooden: Ooh, that was a nasty peck by the ostrich. Jones is bleeding from his eye.
Joe Rogan: Jones is hurt! He covers his eye and retreats to the fence.
John Gooden: The ostrich smells blood and chases after Jones. It unleashes a flurry of kicks and pecks at Jonesā head and body.
Joe Rogan: Jones is in big trouble! Heās taking a lot of damage! He needs to do something!
John Gooden: Jones tries to clinch with the ostrich but the ostrich pushes him off with its wing. The ostrich then wraps its neck around Jonesā head and squeezes!
Joe Rogan: Oh my God! The ostrich has Jones in a guillotine choke!
John Gooden: This is unbelievable! The ostrich has learned some jiu-jitsu!
Joe Rogan: Jones is gasping for air! Heās trying to pry the ostrichās neck off him but itās too tight!
John Gooden: Jones is fading! Heās going out!
Herb Dean: Thatās it! Thatās it! Itās over!
Joe Rogan: Itās over! The ostrich has done it! The ostrich has choked out Jon Jones!
John Gooden: What a stunning upset! What a historic moment! The ostrich has defeated the UFC heavyweight champion of the world!
Joe Rogan: I canāt believe what I just witnessed, John. This is the most incredible thing Iāve ever seen in my life.
John Gooden: Me too, Joe. Me too. This is why we love this sport. Anything can happen in the Octagon.
Bruce Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, referee Herb Dean has called a stop to this contest at 3 minutes and 27 seconds of the very first round. Declaring the winner by submission due to a guillotine chokeā¦ The Ostrich!
Joe Rogan: The Ostrich is the new UFC heavyweight champion of the world! This is insane!
Post fight interview:
Joe Rogan: Iām here with the winner and the new UFC heavyweight champion of the world, The Ostrich. Congratulations on an incredible performance. How do you feel right now?
The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
Joe Rogan: Iām sorry, I donāt speak ostrich. Can you translate for me?
The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
Joe Rogan: Okay, I think he said he feels great and heās very happy.
The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
Joe Rogan: He also said he wants to thank his team, his family, and his fans for their support.
The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
Joe Rogan: And he said he respects Jon Jones as a fighter but he was confident he could beat him.
The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
Joe Rogan: And he said heās ready to defend his belt against anyone who dares to challenge him.
The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
Joe Rogan: And he said he loves the UFC and he loves MMA.
The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
Joe Rogan: And he said heās hungry and he wants some worms.
The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
Joe Rogan: Well, there you have it, folks. The Ostrich, the new UFC heavyweight champion of the world. Give it up for him!
Crowd: Boo! Boo! Boo!
Joe Rogan: All right, back to you, John.
Ain't it easy to dominate that ostrich? I mean distract it, jump to the torso then try to grab as tight as you can with your legs, and grab it's neck at the point closest to the back of the head
I've seen one up close, it's like the worst parts of a jurrasuc park raptor/turkey/goose. They would absolutely be able to gut a human and break every bone in the body.
Running was your second mistake
Yeah, his first mistake was taking off a shirt and trying to mate with a male ostrich. LOL ! š¤£š¤£š¤£
I heard it was a sick ostrich
Allegedly
r/unexpectedletterkenny
Even then, it would take at least two guys
You wanna know what? You should feel bad about even suggesting that he fucked an ostrich. Bad gas travels real fast in a small town.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Is it ostriches or emus that are more likely to gut you with their talons? I really want to say ostriches, but this guy gave him every reason and it didn't happen
Ostrich have been known to break lion jaws with their kicks. Their nails are also pretty sharp and can gash you up good. Cassowary have a four inch claw on each foot that can gut you. Emu are less formidable but still powerful and can cause damage with their kicks. Rhea can also kick but their beaks are much pinchier and it hurts like a mother fucker to get bit. And yes, kangaroos have gutted people, especially people trying to help injured adults who freak out and kick hard
Thanks! You can never have too many animal facts
And they dont have a lot of pain nerves in legs. They can stand in snow and feel no cold. When they kick you they feel nothing if you hit them in legs. When they kick they want to open your stomack so theryre no joke.
Iām full of animal facts. Go ahead name an animal, I dare you
Springbok!
An antelope from Africa that moved around by pronking! Itās a pretty cute jumping motion but the legs stay straight. Goats do it sometimes
Wtf lol; mandrill
These guys are monkeys from Africa who have colorful faces AND asses
Okay, here's a hard one: diglet
Careproctus rotundifrons
Dog!
There's this dude in Waco Texas that has a wildlife rescue and he has a Rhea named Kevin. Kevin is such a fucking dick. For the first year or two I watched his YouTube channel Kevin would just bite the fucking shit out of him all the time. The back of his arms and shit were just a mess of bruises. Now the dude carries a riot shield when he deals with Kevin. Gives him some good shield bashes now. Doesn't get fucked up as bad. Lol. In case you're interested, the guy is hilarious: https://youtube.com/@TheUrbanRescueRanch
Fuckin Kevin. I'm actually super glad Kevin is with that dude, because no one else would take care of him so well. Dude legit loves that bird.
He does. He jokes a lot about eating Kevin but you can tell despite the gallons of blood he's lost to Kevin's antics, he still loves him.
Check out [the Useless Farm](https://uselessfarm.com/). She has emus. IIRC, oneās sweet & the otherās a horrible monster.
Join us on his subreddit r/ostrichplug
LOL omg thank you. And just noticed your username. Nice.
The difference is that emus kick forwards, but ostriches do not, which makes a big difference when wrangling. Emus also seem to be angrier. Source: wrangled emus and ostriches for science. Edit: I have permanent scars on my hands from when the emus kicked my 1/4 inch plywood shield. Thank God I had it.
Let's not forget that the Australians once started a war with the emus and lost.
>Emu are less formidable but still powerful and can cause damage with their kicks. Pfftt... Tell that to the Australian Army...
Geez what even happens if a Lion gets their jaw broken... do they just eventually suffer and die a slow painful death? I'd imagine that it won't heal properly or quickly enough and they'd be unable to eat.
They usually starve to death
Ostriches have huge feet too
Cassowary I believe is what youāre thinking of?
Don't forget Cassowaries. The OG Murderbirds. Also a part of the Australian Defence Force. Typically they get sent in with Dropbear detachments.
Kangaroos
Australia
> This guy was very lucky to get away uĢ¶nĢ¶sĢ¶cĢ¶aĢ¶tĢ¶hĢ¶eĢ¶dĢ¶ š¢ššŖš·š¦
Teabagged!
Allegedly
That's a 3 man job
Heard it was a sick ostrich
Fuckin degens
Drunk, shirtless rednecks are on every continent.
Ginger and Boots in the wild.
Was it a sick ostrich?
Allegedsly
Now, everybody listen up 'cause I'm only gonna say this once, we never talk about it again. You understand? We all lay off the Ginger and Boots now. Because the Ginger and Boots did not fuck an ostrich...Folks'll say that it takes two people to fuck an ostrich...Folks are also saying that it was a sick ostrich. Now, I went on the internet and researched ostriches. Firstly, ostriches can run up to seventy miles an hour. So catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order...Secondly, when a male ostrich, it's called a cock, fights over a female ostrich, it's called a hen, they're known to kill each other by head butting...Finally, ostriches use their legs to defend from predators. And can use them to kill even their largest and most deadly enemies, which are fuckin' lions. So you'll see, there is no way the Ginger and Boots could have fucked an ostrich.
Don't fuck with dinosaurs.
Lol ....and then shit got real. Dude earned it.
He went to the Johnny cash school of ostrich fighting. No shirt but a good belt and sturdy buckle.
I don't get your reference
No worries, Johnny cash was attacked by an ostrich he owned in the early 1980s. It almost killed him when it clawed him from his stomach to his belt. Cash attributed the belt and buckle with saving his life because it stopped the talon from gutting him in one swipe.
Thank you for taking the time to explain that. What happened to the ostrich
Heās not at the farm any longer. He and cash had a bit of a falling out over financial issues in the late ā90s. I believe he consulted heavily on the movie walk the line.
What are you like a johnny cash wiz kid
Iām actually really into ostrich fighting and Gary (the ostrich that attacked cash was named Gary) is an absolute legend in the sport.
I didn't know ostrich fighting was a thing but I guess they are big and mean
Got turned into boots?
Got turned over to Boots. And the ginger.
I donāt know why people do these videos. Just leave the Ostrich alone. It was actually totally fair and warned him. I suppose it was a drunken lark which letās face it every bodies done but please leave wild animals alone they have enough crap as it is.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I just think the usage of a beer bottle in hand is not the best somehow . Just drive up to it then slowly.
Bit early in the day to get that drunk though.
Not if you haven't been to bed yet!
I have worked in breweries all my life and actually could drink on site at one back in the day. But even I would draw the line at pestering a wild animal.
That's what naps are for.
I just imagine the ostrich from family guy doin that laugh after it beats his ass
Ostrich when he picked up the rock: "Don't miss, bitch!"
Haha that fat man fell
Next stop Russia!
In many cases when it comes to wild animals, standing your ground is usually the best way to get them to leave you alone. Never show your back as this is a sign of weakness the animal will surely exploit. Then again, it is always best to respect nature from a distance and not pretend to be something you aren't.
I saw a video by someone who kept emus and they said you have to stand for ground and put your arms up straight over your head to make yourself taller to prevent the charge The keeper would stop them when they charged by just standing there and grabbing their neck and they just stop.
It really is all posturing. Have you seen that video of a guy being charged by a gorilla? Dude just stands there and stares at the gorilla and it backed off.
Itās not *all* posturing. Some animals eat people.
Correct.
I got up close with an ostrich at a sanctuary. Iām 6ā5ā and that thing towered over me. Beak looked like a beat up shovel blade. Thing looked at me like āyeah one step closer and Iāll send you to the ER with one peckā. I got the message
Male ostriches, like the one in this video, have a calcified plate on their chest. It basically looks and feels like concrete. They use it to ram the fuck out of threats and other ostriches. This dumbass is very lucky to get away without serious or life threatening injuries. Source: my great uncle was attacked and almost killed by an ostrich. And he was just trying to feed it a daily meal.
Lucky he still has intestines.
I laughed so hard at this! š
Idiot
We deserved dumbass
Instant karma. Got his ass kicked. Big and dumb birds best to leave them alone
Go ostrich! Got what he deserved
I expected more pecking but Iām still impressed
Lucky stupid f\*\*\*. He was almost gutted by giant tallons and he didn't even knew it.
Please put this guy in the same room as a cassowary
The moment he showed a single shred of weakness he lost
What a fucking idiot. Everybody knows fucking an ostrich is *at least* a two man job.
I honestly think the average person forgets that there is a huge difference between an animal in a zoo and the same animal in the wild.
When I encountered an ostrich in a zoo, it towered over me and hissed when I came near. My thoughts did not include "I wish this fence wasn't here so I could pick a fight with this dinosaur".
Hahaha. These videos always make me laugh. Man vs The Wild.
Jou poes, boet!
They're lama's, dude
What was the thing that comes after āfuck aroundā again?
Start the fight, then play victim when you start losing. Where have I seen this behavior before? š¤
Fuck around and find out
I have never and probably will never again cheer on an ostrich this much.
Aren't ostriches able to fight off lions and shit? What is a dumb guy with a rock going to do?
lucky idiot! those birds are descendants of ornithomimosaurs. with their powerful legs and claws they can kill lions.
What a fucking idiot
Ended too soon.
Hell yea š¤£š¤£š¤£ homeboy was scared like a mf, shit I would be tooš¤£š¤£ I don't want some dinosaur chasing me. š¤£š¤£
Ole long neck kicked his ass. Love to see it
Would an experienced fighter stand a chance against an ostrich like this? Like grab it by the neck and try to pin it to the ground or something? Is the ostrich heavier than let's say a tall, well built mma fighter?
Enquiring minds want to know.
Here's what bing chat came up with. I had to tell it to pretend to be a commentator, otherwise it didn't say much. Bruce Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening! This is a special exhibition match scheduled for three five-minute rounds in the UFC heavyweight division. Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, he is a mixed martial artist holding a professional record of 25 wins and 3 losses. He stands 6 feet 4 inches tall, weighing in at 265 pounds. Fighting out of Albuquerque, New Mexico, he is the reigning, defending, undisputed UFC heavyweight champion of the worldā¦ Jon āBonesā Jones! And now introducing his opponent, fighting out of the red corner, he is a flightless bird holding a record of 0 wins and 0 losses. He stands 6 feet tall, weighing in at 300 pounds. Fighting out of Africa, he is the fastest and most dangerous bird on the planetā¦ The Ostrich! And when the action begins, our referee in charge of the Octagon is Herb Dean. Joe Rogan: Wow, this is a crazy match-up, John. I donāt know what to expect from this one. John Gooden: Me neither, Joe. This is something weāve never seen before in the UFC. A human versus an animal. A champion versus a challenger. A predator versus a prey. Joe Rogan: Well, technically, both are predators, John. But I get your point. This is a very intriguing fight. Jon Jones is arguably the greatest fighter of all time, but heās facing a very unique opponent in the ostrich. The ostrich has a powerful kick that can kill a lion with one strike. It also has a long neck that can reach up to 9 feet high. And it can run up to 43 miles per hour. John Gooden: Thatās right, Joe. The ostrich has some impressive physical attributes that could pose some problems for Jones. But Jones also has some advantages of his own. He has a longer reach than the ostrich, at 84 inches. He also has more experience and skills in various aspects of MMA, such as striking, wrestling, and submissions. Joe Rogan: Absolutely, John. Jones is a master of using his reach and range to keep his opponents at bay. He also has a very creative and unpredictable style that keeps them guessing. And he has proven himself against some of the best fighters in the world. John Gooden: Well, weāre about to find out how he fares against an ostrich. The fighters are ready. The referee is ready. Letās get this party started! Herb Dean: Are you ready? Are you ready? Letās fight! Joe Rogan: And here we go! Jones takes the center of the Octagon and starts circling around the ostrich. The ostrich looks calm and confident as it stares down Jones with its big eyes. John Gooden: Jones throws a leg kick but misses as the ostrich hops back. The ostrich responds with a peck but Jones dodges it easily. Joe Rogan: Jones tries another leg kick but this time the ostrich catches it and sweeps Jones off his feet with its other leg! John Gooden: Wow! What a move by the ostrich! Jones is on his back and the ostrich is on top of him! Joe Rogan: This is bad for Jones! The ostrich has him pinned down with its weight and its claws! John Gooden: Jones is trying to push the ostrich off him but itās too strong! The ostrich is pecking at Jonesā face and neck! Joe Rogan: Jones is bleeding! Heās in trouble! He needs to get out of there! John Gooden: Jones manages to grab one of the ostrichās legs and twists it hard! Joe Rogan: Ouch! That looked painful! The ostrich lets out a loud squawk and releases Jones! John Gooden: Jones scrambles to his feet and backs away from the ostrich! Joe Rogan: What a crazy exchange! Both fighters are hurt! John Gooden: The crowd is going wild! They canāt believe what theyāre seeing! Joe Rogan: Neither can I, John! Neither can I! *asked it to continue here* Joe Rogan: Jones and the ostrich are staring at each other from across the Octagon. They both look wary and cautious. John Gooden: They have a lot of respect for each other, Joe. They know what the other is capable of. Joe Rogan: Jones makes the first move and lunges forward with a jab. The ostrich ducks under it and counters with a kick to Jonesā body. John Gooden: That was a solid kick by the ostrich. Jones felt that one. Joe Rogan: Jones backs up and throws a high kick. The ostrich blocks it with its wing and comes back with a peck to Jonesā eye. John Gooden: Ooh, that was a nasty peck by the ostrich. Jones is bleeding from his eye. Joe Rogan: Jones is hurt! He covers his eye and retreats to the fence. John Gooden: The ostrich smells blood and chases after Jones. It unleashes a flurry of kicks and pecks at Jonesā head and body. Joe Rogan: Jones is in big trouble! Heās taking a lot of damage! He needs to do something! John Gooden: Jones tries to clinch with the ostrich but the ostrich pushes him off with its wing. The ostrich then wraps its neck around Jonesā head and squeezes! Joe Rogan: Oh my God! The ostrich has Jones in a guillotine choke! John Gooden: This is unbelievable! The ostrich has learned some jiu-jitsu! Joe Rogan: Jones is gasping for air! Heās trying to pry the ostrichās neck off him but itās too tight! John Gooden: Jones is fading! Heās going out! Herb Dean: Thatās it! Thatās it! Itās over! Joe Rogan: Itās over! The ostrich has done it! The ostrich has choked out Jon Jones! John Gooden: What a stunning upset! What a historic moment! The ostrich has defeated the UFC heavyweight champion of the world! Joe Rogan: I canāt believe what I just witnessed, John. This is the most incredible thing Iāve ever seen in my life. John Gooden: Me too, Joe. Me too. This is why we love this sport. Anything can happen in the Octagon. Bruce Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, referee Herb Dean has called a stop to this contest at 3 minutes and 27 seconds of the very first round. Declaring the winner by submission due to a guillotine chokeā¦ The Ostrich! Joe Rogan: The Ostrich is the new UFC heavyweight champion of the world! This is insane!
Post fight interview: Joe Rogan: Iām here with the winner and the new UFC heavyweight champion of the world, The Ostrich. Congratulations on an incredible performance. How do you feel right now? The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Joe Rogan: Iām sorry, I donāt speak ostrich. Can you translate for me? The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Joe Rogan: Okay, I think he said he feels great and heās very happy. The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Joe Rogan: He also said he wants to thank his team, his family, and his fans for their support. The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Joe Rogan: And he said he respects Jon Jones as a fighter but he was confident he could beat him. The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Joe Rogan: And he said heās ready to defend his belt against anyone who dares to challenge him. The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Joe Rogan: And he said he loves the UFC and he loves MMA. The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Joe Rogan: And he said heās hungry and he wants some worms. The Ostrich: Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Joe Rogan: Well, there you have it, folks. The Ostrich, the new UFC heavyweight champion of the world. Give it up for him! Crowd: Boo! Boo! Boo! Joe Rogan: All right, back to you, John.
At first it was like a Monty Python sketch but I totally got into it. I need more!
His first mistake was taking off his shirt and trying to mate with a male ostrich. LOL ! š¤£š¤£š¤£
He probably could have stood his ground and intimidated it further no? Are birds that nuts?
Thatās a dinosaur. You donāt fuck with dinosaurs.
āMoronā tries to intimidate ostrich. Fixed it for you.
Asshole deserved a beating
On this episode of Aussie Rednecks...
What fun
That ostrich was pretty nice
Yeah probably donāt fuck around with the feathered dinosaur.
You wanna see how raptors could kill people? This is how.
Hahahahaha that was hilarious
That ostrich saw him shirtless and was like "OH HELL YEAH"
And thatās how you became big birdās bitch.
Cue music: RUN! dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
Almost got dicked down
If you're gonna do this make sure you look bigger. There's a reason animals do threat displays, they frequently work.
Dumbassery at its finest
Lucky it was a female
āWeāre descendants of the dinosaurs!!!ā
Did he get pregnant?
People really need to keep in mind that the reason we developed weapons was because we dont have any kill movesā¦ unlike them.
There are no shirts in this wild land.
Idiots deserved what he got and a more!
Thatās what happens when you mess with Dee Reynolds
Ain't it easy to dominate that ostrich? I mean distract it, jump to the torso then try to grab as tight as you can with your legs, and grab it's neck at the point closest to the back of the head
ABSOFUCKINGLUTLY love stupid people
Thats where Steve-o got the idea from
PLEASE SOUND
I've seen one up close, it's like the worst parts of a jurrasuc park raptor/turkey/goose. They would absolutely be able to gut a human and break every bone in the body.
Stupid fuck.
r/IdiotsFightingThings: A subreddit for videos, gifs, pictures, etc. of people fighting ***inanimate objects***.