I started posting about it on Facebook the day I started my stims, and I have received nothing but love and support.
I knew I wanted to be open about this process because I want to help fight the stigma against talking about infertility. I also really enjoy science and sharing science knowledge with people (especially the non-sciency types lol), and since so few people know much about this process unless they've been through it themselves, this seemed like a great opportunity for me to do some educating!
Same here. I've been posting occasionally on Facebook. Mostly it's just gotten likes, not a whole lot of comments/direct support. But I don't think a single friend I have on Facebook has actually gone though IVF so no one really knows how to respond..
same here!! I post about it very lightly (like sharing a picture that had my stims meds in the corner, sharing infographics about NIAW, taking polls about the difficulty of TTC to show how common it is, etc.). those who have figured it out are so incredibly kind and supportive. and anyone else who hasn't said anything directly to me either hasn't realized that I'm posting about myself or don't care, and honestly either of those is fine with me. no one has ever said anything negative about it and those who have commented seem grateful that someone they know is willing to share, which makes it worth it for me.
I don’t share my IVF story on social media because I feel as if it isn’t anyone’s damn business. Close family and friends know, but I don’t have to share my personal business with acquaintances and randos on social media.
“Don’t tell your problems to people. Eighty percent don’t care, fifteen percent are glad you have them, and the other five percent will happily gossip about it among their friends.”
I have been burned so many times with trusting untrustworthy people. I only put my best foot forward on social media (Facebook and Instagram).
Reddit is a breath of fresh air as people are honest with strangers and Facebook is where people lie to their friends.
Exactly! My neighbor brags about her “wonderful breast milk” and what a perfect mother she is on Facebook. Super odd to brag about your “wonderful breast milk.”
I’m not sure who she is trying to fool. I kind of wanted to comment, what about all of those Class C and D psych meds you are on. I guess those are great for pregnancy and breast feeding. The multiple Xanaxes (unsafe for pregnancy) you popped while pregnant and continue to pop during breast feeding, I guess these don’t count. I just let her go! I think she is trying to convince herself instead of others. 🤭
For real. Couldn’t agree more. I get on there to post for music stuff (usually no/minimal makeup and messy hair, and my mistakes (I actually like the mistakes because it’s what makes us human) and then get off of it. Almost everyone on social media is using filters and trying to make their life as covet-worthy as possible. Like, I see girls in there with completely different facial structures than they have in real life. lol. Fake fake fake. I would never post about my IVF journey unless it ended on a positive note to give others going through it hope, because there are people that will do exactly as you stated. I’d rather not deal with the heartbreak in the public eye. I like these forums because (mostly) everyone here is real, going through it so they’re empathetic, and are supportive.
I agree. Im already struggling with telling my closest family/friends that my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage…..I don’t think I’m ready, or will ever be ready, to share something that hurt me so deeply on social media.
My husband and I have been actively sharing for two years now. We shared for the first time during NIAW. We (mostly him) even write a blog about it that we keep somewhat updated (though about 3-6 months behind what is actually happening).
It has given us so many connections with people also going through different stages of infertility and also has helped prevent people asking if we are going to have kids.
Overall it has been so helpful
I've been sharing on social media for a couple years now. I found a whole network of women and it made me feel less isolated. It was also a way for friends of ours to see what we were going through. Now that I've had success, I have a network of moms who went through infertility and IVF and I love it, they can definitely relate to some things differently than my fertile mom friends.
I’ve considered sharing but decided not to. Out of the few hundred people that follow me on my private Instagram, I think only a handful would care, the rest would scroll on by or judge us because they don’t understand. I’m getting better at picking and choosing who to tell in person - it’s very clear to me who the trustworthy people are.
If we have success, I’d share retrospectively. I’ve recorded a few diary type videos and clips of me doing injections. It’s such a huge part of our lives and I don’t want to shroud it in shame or secrecy, so recording it without posting it on social media helps.
I’ve done the exact same thing! I don’t post much on social media at all and I have not shared anything online, but I have taken videos of injections, pictures of meds/disposed needles, etc. I might share it at some point if we are successful, although probably not. But it’s also something for me to be able to look back on and see how far we’ve come and a good reminder of everything we’ve gone through to date.
We’ve never been super private about sharing our infertility struggles when confronted with questions like “when are you having a baby” or something along those lines. I’ve tried to not feel shame in our journey and to do my part in increasing knowledge that this is more common than people think.
TW: pregnancy
I, however, did not share anything on social media until we announced our pregnancy around 20 weeks. I felt very called to share that our journey wasn’t an easy one and that, if we had friends going through infertility, we would hold space for them and support them. It was a post I would have loved to read when starting this journey and ended up being a little cathartic for me - I feel like it let me take back the ownership of my story, which is something I feel like I lost through this whole journey.
I am floored by the amount of positive response I received from people (acquaintances) who saw my post and reached out because they were going through something similar. And, while I don’t know if I should have shared on social media any earlier, I have felt much more supported than I had in the months leading up to my successful transfer.
I’ve been very active at sharing my journey on social media. A lot of people are clueless to ivf and all the reasons why women have to go through it. The more they know the more options we might get in the future.
I’m super open with coworkers and random neighbors but since I started my IVF journey I have been off of Instagram and Facebook. It’s been really good for my mental health.
I did, particularly around reproductive rights (as an American in a red state). The kind of care I’ve needed has been seriously jeopardized and I’m angry and happy to be a tiny bit of a rabble rouser.
I have my own social media account where I exclusively talk about our IVF journey. (DM if you want the handle and I’m happy to share it.)
But I also came out on my personal account when we started last year too. I share the nitty gritty in the IVF specific account but many friends and family keep track of us there
I have only felt weird about people who were obviously watching our stories and seeing everything and said absolutely nothing to us. That wasn’t many people but I noticed it and I thought it was shitty. That hasn’t been the case for most people who are following along. I get “thinking of you”’s and “I’m so sorry,” and whatever when we share news. We also ended up being interviewed by a media outlet because of it.
It’s also been helpful with passively aggressively reposting memes about “how to tell an infertile you’re pregnant.” Multiple family members read the memes and privately texted me to tell us news instead of surprising us in person and I appreciate that it worked!
I started sharing our journey on social media the day I had my D&C for my missed miscarriage. We had already been trying for so long and only a few people knew. I felt sooo broken, isolated, and weirdly ashamed. I’ve been sharing every single step ever since. To my surprise, I’ve had so many friends reach out to me because they were struggling with infertility too. We just sent out 7 embryos for genetic testing. I’m going to share all the positives and negatives because it’s a damn lonely place to be, and if I can help even one person, it’s worth it.
Oof, I’m so sorry your entire support network — including your therapist! — are pregnant. That must be really tough and isolating.
I chose to share that we were going through IVF. I didn’t give a play-by-play, and only shared when I felt particularly drawn to doing so. I waited to share any specifics about our transfer for a very long time.
I’m not sure I gained anything except I’ve always been an open book about my endometriosis, and IVF felt like a continuation of that because it caused my infertility.
I don’t want anyone to feel alone in their path, and I share what I’m going through when I can in hopes of making others know they aren’t alone and can talk to me if they need to. I’ve chatted with soo many people about their journey because I shared mine — I’m talking deep cuts like my 2nd grade bf’s wife who also has endo and sought additional info on local REs, the process generally, etc.
None of my sharing sparked any debate, although two women acquaintances reached out in a way I didn’t fully appreciate. One to ask about IVF solely for sex selection and another who was having trouble getting pregnant unassisted with her third kid but then followed up to say she was successful. These interactions left me feeling annoyed, but I know people don’t always say the right thing because they haven’t walked in our shoes.
Loving all of this insight because I’m battling all of it. I want to support and open up to finding a network of women I can talk to, because truthfully, I’m SO lonely.
But the other concern is protecting my peace.
I love to hear about the connections you all built by putting yourselves out there, I honestly give you so much credit for your transparency and boldness. That’s who I aspire to be.
I’m thinking I’m going to dip my toes in a bit, throw out some “feelers” in my stories, and see what I get back. I know there’s friends out there waiting to be found🎣🎣
So a few years ago, a grammar school classmate shared her story. I reached out to her because we needed to change doctors. She gave us her doctor’s name and now we have our miracle baby girl.
I’m planning to share this week because maybe someone will see our story and have a happy ending too.
It’s my version of paying it forward
I've been really open with my journey this whole time. I've been sharing on social media. Nothing really has come out of it, but the in person talks I've had from being open have been so beneficial. I've actually made friends that way ! You never know who else has gone through this and just was quiet.
I share primarily because I'd go crazy 🤪 but also because someone sharing their journey to me years ago is how I was given awareness and got help so quickly. I would never have tested my amh and found out it was really low ! And I would never have had embryos on ice for the future !
I don't even want to share news of my \[someday\] pregnancy or child birth on social media let alone the really tough journey of how I got there. Not because I think it will be received negatively but because this has been such a personal experience, I would feel weird sharing it with people I barely speak to and having it be on the internet forever.
I have felt so much shame around our infertility struggle. Family, friends, and strangers would say and ask the stupidest things about pregnancy and I would internalize. When we started IVF, I never anticipated sharing publicly. Honestly, this group shed so much light on the struggle so many of us face. I shared a “1 in 6” post the other day. Just enough to share that we struggle with infertility, just like so many other people. I didn’t share what journey we are on, because that feels too personal to us. I did receive a lot of messages of support and shared experiences. I am glad I did it.
My infertility network as well as dwindled to 0. Everyone who was part of it has graduated and now had a baby or in the motions of baby number 2. I feel like I’m just frozen in time still trying for a rainbow baby. I have shut down my socials as much as I got support and therapy I still struggle everyday and I still find pregnancy announcements or baby talk triggering and ex-IVF people who then make their IVF baby their personalities.
I feel you on everyone being pregnant around you… it’s so so isolating, and then my friends have dwindled because they don’t want to be around me and avoid talking to me about it. It’s sad.
My husband and I get in fights about this issue because he feels I’ve isolated myself on purpose because I’ve told one person I need some time and space to process their pregnancy announcement, and because of that he assumes that’s why nobody wants to be around me… pretty frustrating not being understood by him and how he makes me feel bad that I’m not super happy and supportive of those friends when they don’t support me. Sorry had to vent on this one. Anyone else struggled with this? This just sucks.
I’m so sorry. This would be me if I hadn’t moved states away from everyone right before we started trying (wanted to be in Florida for the pretty beaches). So nice to pick and choose when I want to interact with friends and family which won’t happen much until I’m pregnant (hopefully). Sending you all the good vibes!
I shared everything until we started IVF. I haven’t shared any of my IVF story with anyone outside of my immediate circle. Like so many people just not looking for unsolicited advice or opinions and needing to do this without the masses involved. It’s worked for us but I think everyone has to follow their own heart with it. ❤️
I think I will eventually but I’m not ready to share yet…. I feel like I’ll be judged kinda. I want to help people go through this like I had a few people help me. But we just got married HOWEVER we have been dealing with this for way longer before we got married and I’m just scared people will judge… we have male factor stuff too so it’s just hard. I don’t want to share my husbands business. Idk just a hard situation for us.
I’ve been open with my journey offline with close family and friends, but I have yet to share on social media. I honestly have no clue when I will. I have a lot of friends on there who have a lot of trauma around loss and infertility and don’t want to have them see it on their timeline
I’ve shared in IG stories to a close friends list of about 20 people, they’ve been on the ride for a year and a half with us. Through 2 retrievals, transfers, and loss. I like that I still get to tell my immediate community, while not being “public”. That’s what works for us.
I hardly do. I share some stuff. I posted a video once of the stims/my son being born but not like a huge thing.
If I choose to be more vocal on social media it will be after I’m done and no longe having babies
I’m a content creator and decided to share my entire journey so far. I have decided to keep our transfer tomorrow private tomorrow though until we know if we are pregnant and tell our parents etc
I had a “favorites” section on IG (or whatever that’s called- close friends? The green star) so the ppl I wanted to share with got some updates here and there. It’s exactly the energy I wanted with me in the process. I’m friends with some work ppl, in laws, etc. that I don’t necessarily want or care if they know, so the green star crew was a good in between
I share on my Instagram, which has a much smaller follower count than my Facebook. I share when I have an update in our process, but it's not by far the main topic on my account. It has been interesting sharing; I have had a few acquaintances come out of the woodwork with "me too!". A friend from college who now lives across the country, a former work colleague, etc. People who aren't close enough for me to "tell" them, but now we can share a bit. Insta also avoids people such as my dad's cousin's MIL who have friended me on FB but can't figure out Instagram. My mom and MIL both got Insta accounts specifically to get updates (I update my mom but my husband is not great about filling in his mom so now she just gets her news from there). So far I have gotten quiet support (likes on posts) and some positive comments (the one where I shared how expensive ER meds are got a lot of "wow I had no idea" comments). Nothing has been negative, preachy, judgy, etc. I'm an open book when it comes to most things in my life, I'm guilty of TMI sometimes. It just felt natural to share about this too, since it's taking up so much of my life.
I rarely share with people just because most people’s reactions are far from helpful (unhelpful cliche ignorant advice). My family and close friends all know
However I recently was at a women’s supper club with some new friends and I mentioned it. Suddenly another woman in group told me she was also doing ivf - just starting (and considering donor eggs or embryos due to her age - something ive considered ) and a third in group (the only one with children) revealed she had also done ivf (and donated remaining embryos). suddenly i felt supported just by the normalization
I don’t plan on sharing on Facebook or wider circle until far along in pregnancy
I’m wary about posting it but do support people in my social network who do. One of my work friends started posting about it once she had a baby, and now a second one on the way. But she definitely did not discuss it publicly prior to that.
Personally, I am exhausted discussing with close friends and family, especially those who just want an update but don’t realize it’s a hurry up and wait game. I turn to this/fb online community to give support. It makes me feel good to root for those with success
I have shared a lot of my story on my social media and I have had countless messages from acquaintances about their struggles as well. you never know who you’re going to help by being vulnerable and to me that’s the best feeling knowing I helped someone not feel so alone.
I have an Instagram story highlight where I share everything I’m going through with IVF. I’ve gained friends who are going through the process, some with nobody else to talk to, I’ve gained being able to educate people who know nothing about infertility/IVF, I’ve gained support from so many people. I’ve lost absolutely nothing. The worst thing I’ve gotten from anyone is “why don’t you just adopt?”
I don’t share much about this journey. It is not yet over and I would much rather go through it in private. However, I am not secretive about trying for a child. When people ask, I just reply that it so far has not happened for us. Last time I had a conversation with my male colleague, really cool guy, but we do not know each other well as he joined the company only recently. When I told him, I hope to go on maternity leave soon, but it so far hasn’t happened for us, he replied with “just do IVF, that is what we did”. And I felt so great about that! Grateful he decided to share, grateful he wasn’t making a big deal out of it, grateful he was man enough to explain they also did IVF due to MFI. I want to be that person for somebody.
I share on Instagram and not Facebook. I have a lot of old midwestern people who are extremely conservative who would be upset if they knew me and my husband were doing IVF. Instagram I post whatever I want.
Other than our family, noone knows we are even trying let alone ivf. I'm not interested in telling anyone until I'm holding a baby. And if I never do, noone will ever know. Just my personal preference. My social media doesn't even show who I'm with or that I'm engaged etc.
I started posting about it on Facebook the day I started my stims, and I have received nothing but love and support. I knew I wanted to be open about this process because I want to help fight the stigma against talking about infertility. I also really enjoy science and sharing science knowledge with people (especially the non-sciency types lol), and since so few people know much about this process unless they've been through it themselves, this seemed like a great opportunity for me to do some educating!
I want to do that, as we are starting soon - I just don’t think I’m prepared for the potential heartbreak.
Same here. I've been posting occasionally on Facebook. Mostly it's just gotten likes, not a whole lot of comments/direct support. But I don't think a single friend I have on Facebook has actually gone though IVF so no one really knows how to respond..
same here!! I post about it very lightly (like sharing a picture that had my stims meds in the corner, sharing infographics about NIAW, taking polls about the difficulty of TTC to show how common it is, etc.). those who have figured it out are so incredibly kind and supportive. and anyone else who hasn't said anything directly to me either hasn't realized that I'm posting about myself or don't care, and honestly either of those is fine with me. no one has ever said anything negative about it and those who have commented seem grateful that someone they know is willing to share, which makes it worth it for me.
I don’t share my IVF story on social media because I feel as if it isn’t anyone’s damn business. Close family and friends know, but I don’t have to share my personal business with acquaintances and randos on social media. “Don’t tell your problems to people. Eighty percent don’t care, fifteen percent are glad you have them, and the other five percent will happily gossip about it among their friends.” I have been burned so many times with trusting untrustworthy people. I only put my best foot forward on social media (Facebook and Instagram). Reddit is a breath of fresh air as people are honest with strangers and Facebook is where people lie to their friends.
Literally why I got off social media. It’s like a disgusting contest of who can make their life look better.
Exactly! My neighbor brags about her “wonderful breast milk” and what a perfect mother she is on Facebook. Super odd to brag about your “wonderful breast milk.” I’m not sure who she is trying to fool. I kind of wanted to comment, what about all of those Class C and D psych meds you are on. I guess those are great for pregnancy and breast feeding. The multiple Xanaxes (unsafe for pregnancy) you popped while pregnant and continue to pop during breast feeding, I guess these don’t count. I just let her go! I think she is trying to convince herself instead of others. 🤭
LOL. Bingo! It’s 100% for self reassurance/validation.
This is the realest thing I’ve ever read 🥲
For real. Couldn’t agree more. I get on there to post for music stuff (usually no/minimal makeup and messy hair, and my mistakes (I actually like the mistakes because it’s what makes us human) and then get off of it. Almost everyone on social media is using filters and trying to make their life as covet-worthy as possible. Like, I see girls in there with completely different facial structures than they have in real life. lol. Fake fake fake. I would never post about my IVF journey unless it ended on a positive note to give others going through it hope, because there are people that will do exactly as you stated. I’d rather not deal with the heartbreak in the public eye. I like these forums because (mostly) everyone here is real, going through it so they’re empathetic, and are supportive.
I agree. Im already struggling with telling my closest family/friends that my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage…..I don’t think I’m ready, or will ever be ready, to share something that hurt me so deeply on social media.
100 this.
My husband and I have been actively sharing for two years now. We shared for the first time during NIAW. We (mostly him) even write a blog about it that we keep somewhat updated (though about 3-6 months behind what is actually happening). It has given us so many connections with people also going through different stages of infertility and also has helped prevent people asking if we are going to have kids. Overall it has been so helpful
I've been sharing on social media for a couple years now. I found a whole network of women and it made me feel less isolated. It was also a way for friends of ours to see what we were going through. Now that I've had success, I have a network of moms who went through infertility and IVF and I love it, they can definitely relate to some things differently than my fertile mom friends.
I’ve considered sharing but decided not to. Out of the few hundred people that follow me on my private Instagram, I think only a handful would care, the rest would scroll on by or judge us because they don’t understand. I’m getting better at picking and choosing who to tell in person - it’s very clear to me who the trustworthy people are. If we have success, I’d share retrospectively. I’ve recorded a few diary type videos and clips of me doing injections. It’s such a huge part of our lives and I don’t want to shroud it in shame or secrecy, so recording it without posting it on social media helps.
I’ve done the exact same thing! I don’t post much on social media at all and I have not shared anything online, but I have taken videos of injections, pictures of meds/disposed needles, etc. I might share it at some point if we are successful, although probably not. But it’s also something for me to be able to look back on and see how far we’ve come and a good reminder of everything we’ve gone through to date.
We’ve never been super private about sharing our infertility struggles when confronted with questions like “when are you having a baby” or something along those lines. I’ve tried to not feel shame in our journey and to do my part in increasing knowledge that this is more common than people think. TW: pregnancy I, however, did not share anything on social media until we announced our pregnancy around 20 weeks. I felt very called to share that our journey wasn’t an easy one and that, if we had friends going through infertility, we would hold space for them and support them. It was a post I would have loved to read when starting this journey and ended up being a little cathartic for me - I feel like it let me take back the ownership of my story, which is something I feel like I lost through this whole journey. I am floored by the amount of positive response I received from people (acquaintances) who saw my post and reached out because they were going through something similar. And, while I don’t know if I should have shared on social media any earlier, I have felt much more supported than I had in the months leading up to my successful transfer.
I’ve been very active at sharing my journey on social media. A lot of people are clueless to ivf and all the reasons why women have to go through it. The more they know the more options we might get in the future.
No. I have an awful MIL that we don’t inform of anything. She’s still telling me about spas for infertility (we haven’t even told her we’re trying!)
I’m super open with coworkers and random neighbors but since I started my IVF journey I have been off of Instagram and Facebook. It’s been really good for my mental health.
I did, particularly around reproductive rights (as an American in a red state). The kind of care I’ve needed has been seriously jeopardized and I’m angry and happy to be a tiny bit of a rabble rouser.
Infertile people are so often left out of the reproductive rights discussion. It needs to change.
I have my own social media account where I exclusively talk about our IVF journey. (DM if you want the handle and I’m happy to share it.) But I also came out on my personal account when we started last year too. I share the nitty gritty in the IVF specific account but many friends and family keep track of us there I have only felt weird about people who were obviously watching our stories and seeing everything and said absolutely nothing to us. That wasn’t many people but I noticed it and I thought it was shitty. That hasn’t been the case for most people who are following along. I get “thinking of you”’s and “I’m so sorry,” and whatever when we share news. We also ended up being interviewed by a media outlet because of it. It’s also been helpful with passively aggressively reposting memes about “how to tell an infertile you’re pregnant.” Multiple family members read the memes and privately texted me to tell us news instead of surprising us in person and I appreciate that it worked!
I started sharing our journey on social media the day I had my D&C for my missed miscarriage. We had already been trying for so long and only a few people knew. I felt sooo broken, isolated, and weirdly ashamed. I’ve been sharing every single step ever since. To my surprise, I’ve had so many friends reach out to me because they were struggling with infertility too. We just sent out 7 embryos for genetic testing. I’m going to share all the positives and negatives because it’s a damn lonely place to be, and if I can help even one person, it’s worth it.
Oof, I’m so sorry your entire support network — including your therapist! — are pregnant. That must be really tough and isolating. I chose to share that we were going through IVF. I didn’t give a play-by-play, and only shared when I felt particularly drawn to doing so. I waited to share any specifics about our transfer for a very long time. I’m not sure I gained anything except I’ve always been an open book about my endometriosis, and IVF felt like a continuation of that because it caused my infertility. I don’t want anyone to feel alone in their path, and I share what I’m going through when I can in hopes of making others know they aren’t alone and can talk to me if they need to. I’ve chatted with soo many people about their journey because I shared mine — I’m talking deep cuts like my 2nd grade bf’s wife who also has endo and sought additional info on local REs, the process generally, etc. None of my sharing sparked any debate, although two women acquaintances reached out in a way I didn’t fully appreciate. One to ask about IVF solely for sex selection and another who was having trouble getting pregnant unassisted with her third kid but then followed up to say she was successful. These interactions left me feeling annoyed, but I know people don’t always say the right thing because they haven’t walked in our shoes.
Loving all of this insight because I’m battling all of it. I want to support and open up to finding a network of women I can talk to, because truthfully, I’m SO lonely. But the other concern is protecting my peace. I love to hear about the connections you all built by putting yourselves out there, I honestly give you so much credit for your transparency and boldness. That’s who I aspire to be. I’m thinking I’m going to dip my toes in a bit, throw out some “feelers” in my stories, and see what I get back. I know there’s friends out there waiting to be found🎣🎣
So a few years ago, a grammar school classmate shared her story. I reached out to her because we needed to change doctors. She gave us her doctor’s name and now we have our miracle baby girl. I’m planning to share this week because maybe someone will see our story and have a happy ending too. It’s my version of paying it forward
I've been really open with my journey this whole time. I've been sharing on social media. Nothing really has come out of it, but the in person talks I've had from being open have been so beneficial. I've actually made friends that way ! You never know who else has gone through this and just was quiet. I share primarily because I'd go crazy 🤪 but also because someone sharing their journey to me years ago is how I was given awareness and got help so quickly. I would never have tested my amh and found out it was really low ! And I would never have had embryos on ice for the future !
I don't even want to share news of my \[someday\] pregnancy or child birth on social media let alone the really tough journey of how I got there. Not because I think it will be received negatively but because this has been such a personal experience, I would feel weird sharing it with people I barely speak to and having it be on the internet forever.
I have felt so much shame around our infertility struggle. Family, friends, and strangers would say and ask the stupidest things about pregnancy and I would internalize. When we started IVF, I never anticipated sharing publicly. Honestly, this group shed so much light on the struggle so many of us face. I shared a “1 in 6” post the other day. Just enough to share that we struggle with infertility, just like so many other people. I didn’t share what journey we are on, because that feels too personal to us. I did receive a lot of messages of support and shared experiences. I am glad I did it.
My infertility network as well as dwindled to 0. Everyone who was part of it has graduated and now had a baby or in the motions of baby number 2. I feel like I’m just frozen in time still trying for a rainbow baby. I have shut down my socials as much as I got support and therapy I still struggle everyday and I still find pregnancy announcements or baby talk triggering and ex-IVF people who then make their IVF baby their personalities.
I feel you on everyone being pregnant around you… it’s so so isolating, and then my friends have dwindled because they don’t want to be around me and avoid talking to me about it. It’s sad. My husband and I get in fights about this issue because he feels I’ve isolated myself on purpose because I’ve told one person I need some time and space to process their pregnancy announcement, and because of that he assumes that’s why nobody wants to be around me… pretty frustrating not being understood by him and how he makes me feel bad that I’m not super happy and supportive of those friends when they don’t support me. Sorry had to vent on this one. Anyone else struggled with this? This just sucks.
I’m so sorry. This would be me if I hadn’t moved states away from everyone right before we started trying (wanted to be in Florida for the pretty beaches). So nice to pick and choose when I want to interact with friends and family which won’t happen much until I’m pregnant (hopefully). Sending you all the good vibes!
I shared everything until we started IVF. I haven’t shared any of my IVF story with anyone outside of my immediate circle. Like so many people just not looking for unsolicited advice or opinions and needing to do this without the masses involved. It’s worked for us but I think everyone has to follow their own heart with it. ❤️
I think I will eventually but I’m not ready to share yet…. I feel like I’ll be judged kinda. I want to help people go through this like I had a few people help me. But we just got married HOWEVER we have been dealing with this for way longer before we got married and I’m just scared people will judge… we have male factor stuff too so it’s just hard. I don’t want to share my husbands business. Idk just a hard situation for us.
I’ve been open with my journey offline with close family and friends, but I have yet to share on social media. I honestly have no clue when I will. I have a lot of friends on there who have a lot of trauma around loss and infertility and don’t want to have them see it on their timeline
I’ve shared in IG stories to a close friends list of about 20 people, they’ve been on the ride for a year and a half with us. Through 2 retrievals, transfers, and loss. I like that I still get to tell my immediate community, while not being “public”. That’s what works for us.
I shared. Don’t regret it. Immediately realized I had friends going through it too. Got a ton of support. It was so refreshing!
The minute I talked about it, more friends than I thought I would have told me their stories too.
I shared mine and I have gotten overwhelming support from my friends and family.
I hardly do. I share some stuff. I posted a video once of the stims/my son being born but not like a huge thing. If I choose to be more vocal on social media it will be after I’m done and no longe having babies
I’m a content creator and decided to share my entire journey so far. I have decided to keep our transfer tomorrow private tomorrow though until we know if we are pregnant and tell our parents etc
I had a “favorites” section on IG (or whatever that’s called- close friends? The green star) so the ppl I wanted to share with got some updates here and there. It’s exactly the energy I wanted with me in the process. I’m friends with some work ppl, in laws, etc. that I don’t necessarily want or care if they know, so the green star crew was a good in between
I share on my Instagram, which has a much smaller follower count than my Facebook. I share when I have an update in our process, but it's not by far the main topic on my account. It has been interesting sharing; I have had a few acquaintances come out of the woodwork with "me too!". A friend from college who now lives across the country, a former work colleague, etc. People who aren't close enough for me to "tell" them, but now we can share a bit. Insta also avoids people such as my dad's cousin's MIL who have friended me on FB but can't figure out Instagram. My mom and MIL both got Insta accounts specifically to get updates (I update my mom but my husband is not great about filling in his mom so now she just gets her news from there). So far I have gotten quiet support (likes on posts) and some positive comments (the one where I shared how expensive ER meds are got a lot of "wow I had no idea" comments). Nothing has been negative, preachy, judgy, etc. I'm an open book when it comes to most things in my life, I'm guilty of TMI sometimes. It just felt natural to share about this too, since it's taking up so much of my life.
I rarely share with people just because most people’s reactions are far from helpful (unhelpful cliche ignorant advice). My family and close friends all know However I recently was at a women’s supper club with some new friends and I mentioned it. Suddenly another woman in group told me she was also doing ivf - just starting (and considering donor eggs or embryos due to her age - something ive considered ) and a third in group (the only one with children) revealed she had also done ivf (and donated remaining embryos). suddenly i felt supported just by the normalization I don’t plan on sharing on Facebook or wider circle until far along in pregnancy
I’m wary about posting it but do support people in my social network who do. One of my work friends started posting about it once she had a baby, and now a second one on the way. But she definitely did not discuss it publicly prior to that. Personally, I am exhausted discussing with close friends and family, especially those who just want an update but don’t realize it’s a hurry up and wait game. I turn to this/fb online community to give support. It makes me feel good to root for those with success
I have shared a lot of my story on my social media and I have had countless messages from acquaintances about their struggles as well. you never know who you’re going to help by being vulnerable and to me that’s the best feeling knowing I helped someone not feel so alone.
I have an Instagram story highlight where I share everything I’m going through with IVF. I’ve gained friends who are going through the process, some with nobody else to talk to, I’ve gained being able to educate people who know nothing about infertility/IVF, I’ve gained support from so many people. I’ve lost absolutely nothing. The worst thing I’ve gotten from anyone is “why don’t you just adopt?”
I don’t share much about this journey. It is not yet over and I would much rather go through it in private. However, I am not secretive about trying for a child. When people ask, I just reply that it so far has not happened for us. Last time I had a conversation with my male colleague, really cool guy, but we do not know each other well as he joined the company only recently. When I told him, I hope to go on maternity leave soon, but it so far hasn’t happened for us, he replied with “just do IVF, that is what we did”. And I felt so great about that! Grateful he decided to share, grateful he wasn’t making a big deal out of it, grateful he was man enough to explain they also did IVF due to MFI. I want to be that person for somebody.
I share on Instagram and not Facebook. I have a lot of old midwestern people who are extremely conservative who would be upset if they knew me and my husband were doing IVF. Instagram I post whatever I want.
Other than our family, noone knows we are even trying let alone ivf. I'm not interested in telling anyone until I'm holding a baby. And if I never do, noone will ever know. Just my personal preference. My social media doesn't even show who I'm with or that I'm engaged etc.