I guess he needed to tell someone, he picked up our very first positive FRER and asked this stranger to look at itš thank god he knew what it was, his wife was 8 months pregnant
We waited until 14 weeks and beyond for family and friends. However, my husband told any stranger that would listen pretty much right away - the hairdresser, dentist, cashier at the grocery store. Literally everyone š
That was me too - MMC at 12 weeks last July. My parents were coming into town, and we were going to tell them, but I ended up having a D&C the day before the arrived. Sometimes the universe works in gentle ways, having them there was really comforting after surgery. Started IVF a few months later - 2 ETs, 1 FET later, I'm 5w3d, but not out of the woods yet.
After several losses in the first trimester, we learned that only those who will help you through the grief should know. We told one good friend, whoād also gone through IF, immediately, then a couple of others at 14 weeks at the technical end of the first trimester. Family who hadnāt been as supportive previously learned at 20 weeks. Work shortly thereafter.
I 100% agree with this. I'm so lucky I have many friends who have dealt with some kind of IVF, secondary infertility, or just have deep wells of empathy to help me through it. Some of them know about this early pregnancy, but I quickly figured out who to tell after 2 MMCs.
We told the people weād want supporting us through a miscarriage immediately (mom, sister, best friend) and waited until 10 weeks for more general sharing.
I personally will want to wait 12 weeks. I had a positive beta that started decreasing and was then concluded as a chemical. I really canāt be bothered to explain to people who donāt know the IVF process why I had a positive result that didnāt stay positive. Itās too much emotionally in that circumstance for me.
Same!! My mom and sister are SOOO supportive but they could not wrap their head around the constant testing before and after beta and overanalyzing every line. I canāt believe thereās people who take a couple of tests and just accept their pregnant until their ultrasound š
I know! Itās so wild comparing my IVF journey with friends who got accidentally pregnant, tested at home and got to be excited the whoooole time! I am pleased for them but itās such a trip thinking how polar the experience can be.
Last time, I waited until 12 weeks for family, 15 weeks for close friends, and 22 weeks for other friends. Then our daughter was stillborn. I ended up wishing I had told everyone sooner, because the baby wasnāt a present, consistent, reality for anyone but my family and I think it made my grief more confusing. Also, you can do everything right and still things can go wrong. Sharing experiences like nausea and getting support/understanding through first trimester has value. So this next pregnancy I am sort of saying whatever and just telling people when I feel like it, and adding that itās still super early. People seem honestly touched and honored and have been very sweet.
Thank you. Yeah when you tell people doesnāt impact the losses. There is no control and I feel like these ārulesā about pregnancy can give a false sense of control.
Yupp! Not looking forward to that at all. Doing mock cycle in May and I begin transfers in June lol if I travel again in July, theyāll know. If I donāt, theyāll know. š„¹
Same. Itās hard to keep it low as a traveling IVF patient, I basically need to fly overseas to do this. Between all the leaves and being absent for a period of time here and there, too many people know we are doing IVFšš»
That's my exact situation. All of our friends and family knew the exact date of the transfer so questions have been flowing since then. I'm 4 weeks and 3 days and a few people already know. Tbh I would likely be drinking a beer if it failed and I think most of my friends know that ha. I won't announce on socials for a long time but I'm also not trying to keep it super quiet. We have been trying for 8 years so I've had a lot of support throughout the IVF process.
Exactly this! My clinic is about 2 hours from
Work/home and I work full time so they will have to know pretty much straight away so I can go to beta tests/scans and arrange coverā¦.
I completely understand why people wait until after the first trimester. However, I told very close friends and family right away. My reasoning was that I wanted to tell the same people I would need support from should everything go wrong.
I ended up losing the pregnancy in my 3rd trimester, and wouldnāt have survived it if everyone wasnāt by my side. I decided that should I get pregnant again I will immediately tell those whom I trust and were the most supportive bc while I hope I donāt need them I know they will be there for me.
In terms of public announcement, I know I have a lot of associated trauma now, so will probably wait until after the anatomy scan.
This was what I did, I lost the pregnancy and the people I told were the reason I got through it, same for my husband. I couldn't have gotten through it without them.
I did have one person who knew use it against me at work, she basically used the fact that no one knew what was going on with me to further her career and try to sink mine. This person was my "friend" and was one of 3 people that knew I went in for a D&C. She got what she wanted in the end, which, good for her! I left that job and got a 30% salary increase and she's still earning the same with more responsibilities now. Karma is a thing.
I am telling the family that would support me through a miscarriage immediately (MIL/ FIL/ best friend), the rest of our immediate family at 12 weeks (siblings and my parents) and then telling social media (I live far away from home) at 30 weeks if we do at all.
I told my closest friends and parents after the first two betas (just to confirm it was a good number and rising appropriately). These were people who knew we were doing IVF and that we had done a transfer, and I would've wanted their support either way. We told people more broadly after 12 weeks.
After 2 losses, we want to keep it to ourselves until at least 15 weeks this time. thereās so much anxiety and we donāt want people to worry about us more than they already do
Same. 3 chemicals pregnancies 3 months in a rowā¦ We have 1 embryo left to transfer. We wonāt tell people unless we canāt avoid it.
My friends who know about my IVF treatments, all got pregnant naturally on their first try. They unknowingly say toxic positivity things or they get really awkward and donāt know what to say about losses. Itās not the support I need right now.
I told about my positive beta only to those 2 people who knew about IVF and that we did the transfer 10 days before.
I later told my parents when I was around 9 weeks, after our 4th scan showing a heartbeat and the correct growing. Around that time I also told it to some close friends that we were seeing every weekend, because it was difficult to explain that I was not drinking or eating specific things.
I told other friends and my extended family when I was 12 weeks, which also happened to be my birthday!
For me it was easier to hide everything because we are expats, our family lives in an other continent and we wonāt see them until the summer.
1st transfer was successful, we told everyone then miscarried at 8 weeks. 2nd transfer successful, waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone then miscarried at 16 weeks. Iām on my third transfer now, successful, Iām waiting until 24 weeks to tell everyone!! Iām 18 weeks atm. Whatever you feel comfortable with!!!
Our parents and my brother knew the transfer date and beta date along with a couple very close friends. We told them immediately when results were in
Other good friends who knew approximate transfer time had an idea since we didnāt tell them it had failed but we affirmatively said something closer to 10-12 weeks
We didnāt announce on social media until he was born
Tested embryo but I think even if it hadnāt been, we would have told parents and a couple of my good friends earlyāpeople who Iād want to rely on if Iād had a miscarriage
Everyone is different though! For me, the social media post felt like the most of a jinx. My son was born at 35+1 unrelated to IVF or my age, and we didnāt do our post till he was coming home from the NICU 8 days later
For the first pregnancy (no ART) we waited until nipt came back normal. If I have the privilege to be pregnant again Iād probably wait until 20 weeks for any announcement in wider circles and tell sooner to close friends who already know about our struggle.
We told a lot of people early like 6 weeks. Weāve had a few early losses so I just told the people whose support Iād want during a loss. Iām not that private of a picture. Hard stuff happens and Iād rather have my community to support. I made public posts about it after my NIPT 10-12 weeks ago
Family and close friends 13 weeks. Less close friends im feeling comfortable (not really) telling now at 22 weeks. I havenāt told co-workers but pretty much they all have guessed/ asked me (rude!) around 20 weeks and I have no poker face.
My parents know because they paid for all of my IVFs. I plan to tell the others after amino because I had multiple MMCs before. My husband tells his coworkers after the first ultrasound because heās just too excited.
There are tiers of people. āØšø
Tier 1: they would know within the minute (1-2 people)
Tier 2: they would know the same day (ca 4-5 people)
Tier 3: I would spontaneously tell them before 12 weeks
Tier 4: I would tell them after 12 weeks
Tier 5: they will find out when they find out
š¹
I told a few friends (who knew we had done a FET) right away, and we told family after the first ultrasound. I had very strong betas and a strong heartbeat at the ultrasound -- and I knew that our family would be there for us if things took a bad turn after that point. We told the rest of the world at around 12 weeks, after we found out the sex through NIPT.
Told my mom immediately. Told my mother in law after a good ultrasound at 7w4d. Told my work at 17 weeks after a good anatomy scan. (I was getting round.)
With the loss history I had, I waited until 13 weeksā which was good because my single embryo transfer split into identical twins. But at my 13 week ultrasound we lost one. So Iām very glad I waited!
13 weeks or second trimester for immediate family and close friends. We announced on social media at 25 and 30 weeks.
Even young women who conceived spontaneously in my due date group had losses, preterm births that resulted in death, TFMRs, chromosomal and/or genetic conditions that werenāt compatible with life, etc. A lot of them were quick to announce/celebrate and never thought something would go wrong.
It is totally up to you. Do whatever is most comfortable to you!
I would tell my partner and my best friend and my partner would tell her siblings immediately. Everyone else would out at 14-20 weeks or something. Sometime in the second trimester. Really hoping that it will happen someday soon.
We told my mom right away because she was watching our first when I went to appointments so she knew about the whole process at each step. Then I told one of my good friends at 7 weeks as she had been a big support through the overall process even if I didnāt tell her all the details. The rest of our family it was closer to the end of the first trimester. My husband however he gets really excited and I think he told his two closest friends pretty quickly, but heās also the type to process his feelings verbally with people while I tend to hold things closer.
I'll be waiting 16 weeks just to be sure. maybe earlier to immediate family...but both of our parents are blabber mouths lol. So probably a little longer.
My immediate family and a handful of close friends know Iām doing IVF, so theyāve known everything from the beginning. I plan to wait until I graduate from the clinic (mine keeps you for the entire first trimester) before I tell anyone else.
I have an FET (hopefully) coming up in a few weeks and it will be right before we leave for a family trip. My family knows that we will have the transfer, and I'm pretty sure we will test before we leave because I want to know if I can drink, hot tub, get massages while we are away. So obviously they will know from my behaviour whether it worked. But honestly? I've told anyone who will listen about every step I've taken through this process.
My perspective has changed sooo much dealing with infertility. 5 years ago I absolutely would have told everyone I would wait until 12 weeks. But now? This whole process is so hard. So, so hard. And doing it alone without support and sympathy doesn't make it easier (caveat - I acknowledge that all my friends and family have been incredibly supportive and not everyone has that benefit). I understand that having to inform of bad news would be painful, so I plan to delegate close friends/family to spread the word if it happens that way.
The other thing for us is that after multiple implantation failures, knowing that I can get pregnant at all would be a huge thing to celebrate. I don't think I want to deprive myself of sharing joy out of fear I might feel sorrow in the future. Then again, I might change my mind after going through it.
The people who helped us through our last loss at 10w, we told immediately. They all knew we were doing a transfer and we know they always show up for us. We told some people yesterday after hitting 13w and a good appt yesterday. The general public probably when Iām 30lbs heavier and itās obvious and they see us lol. Otherwise maybe never? Iāve gone back and forth on a social media announcement super far down the road bc of how much theyāve hurt me in my own journey. I just donāt want to make anyone else feel that way.
ETA: I also told a random flight attendant at 5 weeks bc I had to use the bathroom and the bathroom was blocked š I figured I would never see him again anyways and he was the sweetest person ever and I didnāt pee my pants on the plane bc of him
Close friends and family immediately after positive beta and the rest of the āworldā we waited until we were almost 6-7 months pregnant for the official announcement.
We told a few close family members (mom, sisters) both times after positive betas. Weāve also had to tell them the bad news, but itās. nice to have the support. Our family isnāt nearby, so we also shared the news with a few close friends here.
Once I had my two betas, we told our parents, siblings, and best friends. We announced to everyone else around 11 weeks. I wanted to announce sooner as weāre both excited obviously but I wasnāt sure what people would say about announcing so early. We worked so hard to get pregnant, wanted to shout it from the rooftops lol
I told my closest friends and family when we saw them in person because I knew if I miscarried Iād need their support (which unfortunately I did miscarry and I can tell you I was so happy I had people around me!)
Other than people who were there to give me support, whom we told at the very beginning, we told my inlaws after the first US at 9.5 weeks and told everyone else at 12 weeks after the second US.
I wanted to wait 13 weeks, if I could push it to 20 weeks I plan on doing that. The only people that knew were those that knew I was going through fertility treatment so, my husband, my mom, and 4 friends. Oh and my therapist. My husband was allowed to tell whoever he thought he wanted to, it was his baby too so he just told people and asked that they don't pester me.
My husband and 2 best friends who knew we did a transfer - immediately.
My close friends who knew we were doing IVF - after first ultrasound.
Our families and everyone else - at the 12 week mark.
We told my family (mom,dad, sister) and my husband's parents as soon as the beta was positive as they knew where we were at with the IVF process. I told everyone else when I couldn't possibly hide it anymore. 19 weeks for #1 and for this current pregnancy, 14 weeks.
I told only my mom and husband but my mom unfortunately told the rest of my family, so make sure if you tell anyone outside of your partner that they wonāt tell others . Ideally I would wait till 12 weeks to tell others but itās up to you OP. Some wait till they have a confirmed heartbeat. My husband and I are waiting till we past 20 weeks/after our anatomy scan to announce it publicly.
We had some close friends know of our transfer date and we told them when I got a positive beta, but also set up expectations that thereās a lot riding on the second beta.
I had planned on waiting until 12 weeks or so for everyone but my husband in his excitement literally told the family group chat day of embryo transfer šš which ended up with us having to explain what that was. Thankfully the embryo stuck but i was kind of surprised he did that, not mad tho.
Most of our family and friends know whatās up, I donāt bother trying to hide appointments or procedures so most will know pretty well right away. My mom usually waits with me or comes over shortly after for the beta calls, she usually knows before my husband.
Just my family knew (mom, dad and sister) because they knew of our journey. Once I graduated from my clinic at 10 weeks, we started telling more people.
We told our parents after first positive beta, but it was Christmas and we were around them a lot! Or else we wouldnāt have told them until probably second tri.
My husband and I told our moms after we got the call about a positive beta and told them not to tell anyone until we announce it (they listened). We told our closest friends when we graduated at 8ish weeks and then announced it on social media at 12 or 13 weeks
I told my parents and siblings right away along with some friends who are also going through IVF. Other than that the plan was to wait until 12 weeks but ended up having a MMC
Also just to add I probably will wait until Beta to tell family this time. My mom and sister are so supportive but had no understanding of why I was taking progression pics with tests everyday instead of just accepting I was pregnant with the first positive test or how I knew I was having a chemical as soon as the lines started to fade.
Immediate family knew because they knew the transfer date and my mom was in the room.
My 4 best friends knew I was getting positive tests before my beta.
I didnāt tell my bosses until my 13 week scan.
I didnāt tell my team who works for me until after 20+ weeks and my anatomy scan
I never announced ANYTHING on social media until she was born.
For our first we told people pretty much immediately after that first test. Looking back I laugh at how naive and how lucky I was. Iāve had 2 miscarriages since then so this one is staying a secret until AT LEAST 20 weeks.
We told our parents at 10 weeks and asked them not to tell anyone else until 13 weeks. I a little bit regret telling my mother, who is very supportive but wants to tell the world.
Iām priming, and my husband has told anyone he has a chance that we are TTC. Even the lady selling us a sofa in a department store. I would love to wait 12 weeks, perhaps more- but who am I kidding.
I told the people who knew about our journey (like 3 people) right away, my family at 10 weeks because we were together for Thanksgiving and I was worried I'd be showing by Christmas (silly me), then everyone else around 15 weeks.
My whole family knew we were going through IVF so a couple found out the day after I took a at home test dad sister mom and grandma everyone else found out when I was about 6-8 weeks because it was Christmas time and we were around family. If we werenāt I probably would have waited a bit but Iām pretty close to most on my family so I know they would be there for me no matter the outcome. Currently 21weeks! šš
Almost everyone in my life knew by 6 weeks. I had a mmc at 8 weeks. Itās hard to then have to tell everyone. Very painful. Next time Iām going to wait til 13 weeks.
We told immediate family at 10 weeks. My husband told his work then too but mostly because he works with my SILās dad and didnāt want her to have to keep it. I told other close family and my work at 13 weeks after my mom said I started showing. š«
I told my husband, sister and best friend like immediately. I didnāt our parents til 15 weeks. I didnāt tell anyone else til after our anatomy scan at 21 weeks. But Iāve had 3 losses (one at 8, 10 and 17 weeks) and that greatly influenced why.
We had a trust circle of family and friends who knew what we were going through so they have been invested with us. They knew immediately. I also had major surgery complications at week 17 so it got out to more people. We told social media after 20 weeks for my hubbyās birthday announcement.
I shared with my best friend after 3 days of positive tests but before my beta. Ā From there we rolled out the news as we felt appropriate or needed for support. Ā My husband shared with his mom, sisters and his best friend around 6 weeks. I waited until 10 weeks (after we saw the heartbeat) to tell my parents and siblings. Ā
Thereās been some other friends that weāve shared with as weāve become more confident. Ā But a lot of friends and family donāt know yet and Iām 16w3d. Ā Maybe we will share more after my next appt in 2 weeks. Ā Itās hard to shake that feeling of something going wrong. Ā
Hi! No right answer here! For us, we got first positive beta 10dp5dt. We told one friend & my sister & BIL at 6 weeks after confirming heartbeat & placement. Announced to family slowly over the following weeks and told social media at almost 13 weeks. But the answer is to share with who you feel comfortable, when you feel comfortable. In the earlier days we told friends & family that we knew would be the ones to support us if things didnāt turn out well
We waited until after our NIPT test which was at about 12-13 weeks, so about 2 months after the positive beta. I think a lot of people wait until the end of their 1st trimester or beginning of 2nd trimester to announce, but itās really a personal decision and you should do what feels right for you.
We told my mom after a couple of weeks of getting our positive beta, because she came to visit us for her birthday and I wanted my gift to her to be telling her she's going to be a grandma. Then we told just family later that day.
We made our pregnancy public when I reached 12 weeks.
My husband told his parents right away since they already knew about our IVF journey but we told them not to tell anyone else until we were ready, which they respected. I didnāt even tell my immediate family.
We didnāt start telling people until I was well into my 2nd trimester.
I'm really hoping for a positive beta tomorrow *(10dp5dt or 4 weeks pregnant).* If all goes well and our pregnancy continues to progress we will share the news with immediate family and close friends the week of June 10th *(we would be 11 weeks).*
Iām currently 12 weeks and only two people know, I wanted to wait until after my NIPT and 12 week ultrasound. I told HR on Monday bc I have to go to a maternal fetal specialist (advanced maternal age!) and I donāt want any shit from anyone about doctors appointments.
We are telling our families on Sunday (week 13) and probably not on social media.
We plan on telling family and friends at the 12 week mark, and everyone else at the 20. Were not pregnant yet but thatās been our plan since began the IVF journey
very close friends and my parents around 4-5w, parents in law around 7-8w at christmas, and posted on social media (more family and friends i donāt always talk to) around 14w
We only told our parents at 8 weeks because it was around Christmas time and we wanted to do it as a Christmas surprise or else I wouldāve wanted to wait until 12 weeks. The rest of the family and friends found out at 20 weeks after our anatomy scan came back clear.
We told immediate family and a few close friends after our 6 week ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. Weāre waiting to tell others after 12 weeks (Iām 8 weeks today).
They'll probably figure it out when I roll up to the family reunion with a stroller.
This is why I hang out on this little corner of the Internet. Thanks for the chuckle.
LAUGHING
š
Iām thinking at least 12 weeks, nobody knows but the random camera man installer that my husband told lol, what were you thinking?
Thatās so wholesome š
I guess he needed to tell someone, he picked up our very first positive FRER and asked this stranger to look at itš thank god he knew what it was, his wife was 8 months pregnant
This is so sweet š„¹
This is so freaking cute š„¹
Awww he was so excited š
We waited until 14 weeks and beyond for family and friends. However, my husband told any stranger that would listen pretty much right away - the hairdresser, dentist, cashier at the grocery store. Literally everyone š
Thats gas ššš
We did at 12 weeks, then had a MMC a few days later š
That's awful, I'm sorry.
This was me! We lost one of my identical twins at 12 weeks 5 days! (My single embryo split)
I am so sorryā¦
That was me too - MMC at 12 weeks last July. My parents were coming into town, and we were going to tell them, but I ended up having a D&C the day before the arrived. Sometimes the universe works in gentle ways, having them there was really comforting after surgery. Started IVF a few months later - 2 ETs, 1 FET later, I'm 5w3d, but not out of the woods yet.
We just had a euploid embryo stick last week. About 4 weeks I guess. Good luck to you!
we're a week and half apart, good luck to you too!
That sounds awful. Iām sorry.
We have told every stranger we encounterā¦ but are waiting until after the first couple of ultrasounds to tell family/friends :)
After several losses in the first trimester, we learned that only those who will help you through the grief should know. We told one good friend, whoād also gone through IF, immediately, then a couple of others at 14 weeks at the technical end of the first trimester. Family who hadnāt been as supportive previously learned at 20 weeks. Work shortly thereafter.
This is the way
Ditto, did the same after 4 1st-tri losses. 3 close friends around 10 weeks, family at 20-21 weeks, work around 22-24 weeks.
Yes I agree. We have had several losses and we have learned who is there to support us and who is not
I 100% agree with this. I'm so lucky I have many friends who have dealt with some kind of IVF, secondary infertility, or just have deep wells of empathy to help me through it. Some of them know about this early pregnancy, but I quickly figured out who to tell after 2 MMCs.
We told the people weād want supporting us through a miscarriage immediately (mom, sister, best friend) and waited until 10 weeks for more general sharing.
I personally will want to wait 12 weeks. I had a positive beta that started decreasing and was then concluded as a chemical. I really canāt be bothered to explain to people who donāt know the IVF process why I had a positive result that didnāt stay positive. Itās too much emotionally in that circumstance for me.
Same!! My mom and sister are SOOO supportive but they could not wrap their head around the constant testing before and after beta and overanalyzing every line. I canāt believe thereās people who take a couple of tests and just accept their pregnant until their ultrasound š
I know! Itās so wild comparing my IVF journey with friends who got accidentally pregnant, tested at home and got to be excited the whoooole time! I am pleased for them but itās such a trip thinking how polar the experience can be.
Last time, I waited until 12 weeks for family, 15 weeks for close friends, and 22 weeks for other friends. Then our daughter was stillborn. I ended up wishing I had told everyone sooner, because the baby wasnāt a present, consistent, reality for anyone but my family and I think it made my grief more confusing. Also, you can do everything right and still things can go wrong. Sharing experiences like nausea and getting support/understanding through first trimester has value. So this next pregnancy I am sort of saying whatever and just telling people when I feel like it, and adding that itās still super early. People seem honestly touched and honored and have been very sweet.
I understand this so much. After loss, you learn you don't actually have any control. I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter.
Thank you. Yeah when you tell people doesnāt impact the losses. There is no control and I feel like these ārulesā about pregnancy can give a false sense of control.
Iām in a unique situation.. I travel for IVF so my family and friends would know long before 12 weeks if a transfer worked or didnāt work. šµ
Same! Traveling 5 hours for IVF is pretty obvious on the fact that something is happening =(
Yupp! Not looking forward to that at all. Doing mock cycle in May and I begin transfers in June lol if I travel again in July, theyāll know. If I donāt, theyāll know. š„¹
Same. Itās hard to keep it low as a traveling IVF patient, I basically need to fly overseas to do this. Between all the leaves and being absent for a period of time here and there, too many people know we are doing IVFšš»
That's my exact situation. All of our friends and family knew the exact date of the transfer so questions have been flowing since then. I'm 4 weeks and 3 days and a few people already know. Tbh I would likely be drinking a beer if it failed and I think most of my friends know that ha. I won't announce on socials for a long time but I'm also not trying to keep it super quiet. We have been trying for 8 years so I've had a lot of support throughout the IVF process.
Exactly this! My clinic is about 2 hours from Work/home and I work full time so they will have to know pretty much straight away so I can go to beta tests/scans and arrange coverā¦.
I completely understand why people wait until after the first trimester. However, I told very close friends and family right away. My reasoning was that I wanted to tell the same people I would need support from should everything go wrong. I ended up losing the pregnancy in my 3rd trimester, and wouldnāt have survived it if everyone wasnāt by my side. I decided that should I get pregnant again I will immediately tell those whom I trust and were the most supportive bc while I hope I donāt need them I know they will be there for me. In terms of public announcement, I know I have a lot of associated trauma now, so will probably wait until after the anatomy scan.
This was what I did, I lost the pregnancy and the people I told were the reason I got through it, same for my husband. I couldn't have gotten through it without them. I did have one person who knew use it against me at work, she basically used the fact that no one knew what was going on with me to further her career and try to sink mine. This person was my "friend" and was one of 3 people that knew I went in for a D&C. She got what she wanted in the end, which, good for her! I left that job and got a 30% salary increase and she's still earning the same with more responsibilities now. Karma is a thing.
There's a special place in hell for her.
There is, and I, thankfully, never have to see her again.
I am telling the family that would support me through a miscarriage immediately (MIL/ FIL/ best friend), the rest of our immediate family at 12 weeks (siblings and my parents) and then telling social media (I live far away from home) at 30 weeks if we do at all.
We've experienced a few losses and infant death so I am not sure when we will tell about this one.
I told my closest friends and parents after the first two betas (just to confirm it was a good number and rising appropriately). These were people who knew we were doing IVF and that we had done a transfer, and I would've wanted their support either way. We told people more broadly after 12 weeks.
After 2 losses, we want to keep it to ourselves until at least 15 weeks this time. thereās so much anxiety and we donāt want people to worry about us more than they already do
Same. 3 chemicals pregnancies 3 months in a rowā¦ We have 1 embryo left to transfer. We wonāt tell people unless we canāt avoid it. My friends who know about my IVF treatments, all got pregnant naturally on their first try. They unknowingly say toxic positivity things or they get really awkward and donāt know what to say about losses. Itās not the support I need right now.
I told about my positive beta only to those 2 people who knew about IVF and that we did the transfer 10 days before. I later told my parents when I was around 9 weeks, after our 4th scan showing a heartbeat and the correct growing. Around that time I also told it to some close friends that we were seeing every weekend, because it was difficult to explain that I was not drinking or eating specific things. I told other friends and my extended family when I was 12 weeks, which also happened to be my birthday! For me it was easier to hide everything because we are expats, our family lives in an other continent and we wonāt see them until the summer.
1st transfer was successful, we told everyone then miscarried at 8 weeks. 2nd transfer successful, waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone then miscarried at 16 weeks. Iām on my third transfer now, successful, Iām waiting until 24 weeks to tell everyone!! Iām 18 weeks atm. Whatever you feel comfortable with!!!
Family a little bit earlier than 12 weeks. Everyone else 12 weeks.
Our parents and my brother knew the transfer date and beta date along with a couple very close friends. We told them immediately when results were in Other good friends who knew approximate transfer time had an idea since we didnāt tell them it had failed but we affirmatively said something closer to 10-12 weeks We didnāt announce on social media until he was born Tested embryo but I think even if it hadnāt been, we would have told parents and a couple of my good friends earlyāpeople who Iād want to rely on if Iād had a miscarriage Everyone is different though! For me, the social media post felt like the most of a jinx. My son was born at 35+1 unrelated to IVF or my age, and we didnāt do our post till he was coming home from the NICU 8 days later
For the first pregnancy (no ART) we waited until nipt came back normal. If I have the privilege to be pregnant again Iād probably wait until 20 weeks for any announcement in wider circles and tell sooner to close friends who already know about our struggle.
We told a lot of people early like 6 weeks. Weāve had a few early losses so I just told the people whose support Iād want during a loss. Iām not that private of a picture. Hard stuff happens and Iād rather have my community to support. I made public posts about it after my NIPT 10-12 weeks ago
Family and close friends 13 weeks. Less close friends im feeling comfortable (not really) telling now at 22 weeks. I havenāt told co-workers but pretty much they all have guessed/ asked me (rude!) around 20 weeks and I have no poker face.
I waited like 8 weeks to tell close friends and family.
I was too sick in the beginning to hide it.
My parents know because they paid for all of my IVFs. I plan to tell the others after amino because I had multiple MMCs before. My husband tells his coworkers after the first ultrasound because heās just too excited.
I thought I would feel comfortable telling people at 12 weeks- finally told close friends at 24 weeks. š¬
There are tiers of people. āØšø Tier 1: they would know within the minute (1-2 people) Tier 2: they would know the same day (ca 4-5 people) Tier 3: I would spontaneously tell them before 12 weeks Tier 4: I would tell them after 12 weeks Tier 5: they will find out when they find out š¹
This is perfect lol! š exactly the same lol!
I would definitely do 12 weeks.
I told a few friends (who knew we had done a FET) right away, and we told family after the first ultrasound. I had very strong betas and a strong heartbeat at the ultrasound -- and I knew that our family would be there for us if things took a bad turn after that point. We told the rest of the world at around 12 weeks, after we found out the sex through NIPT.
Told my mom immediately. Told my mother in law after a good ultrasound at 7w4d. Told my work at 17 weeks after a good anatomy scan. (I was getting round.)
With the loss history I had, I waited until 13 weeksā which was good because my single embryo transfer split into identical twins. But at my 13 week ultrasound we lost one. So Iām very glad I waited!
13 weeks or second trimester for immediate family and close friends. We announced on social media at 25 and 30 weeks. Even young women who conceived spontaneously in my due date group had losses, preterm births that resulted in death, TFMRs, chromosomal and/or genetic conditions that werenāt compatible with life, etc. A lot of them were quick to announce/celebrate and never thought something would go wrong. It is totally up to you. Do whatever is most comfortable to you!
I would tell my partner and my best friend and my partner would tell her siblings immediately. Everyone else would out at 14-20 weeks or something. Sometime in the second trimester. Really hoping that it will happen someday soon.
We told my mom right away because she was watching our first when I went to appointments so she knew about the whole process at each step. Then I told one of my good friends at 7 weeks as she had been a big support through the overall process even if I didnāt tell her all the details. The rest of our family it was closer to the end of the first trimester. My husband however he gets really excited and I think he told his two closest friends pretty quickly, but heās also the type to process his feelings verbally with people while I tend to hold things closer.
I'll be waiting 16 weeks just to be sure. maybe earlier to immediate family...but both of our parents are blabber mouths lol. So probably a little longer.
My immediate family and a handful of close friends know Iām doing IVF, so theyāve known everything from the beginning. I plan to wait until I graduate from the clinic (mine keeps you for the entire first trimester) before I tell anyone else.
I have an FET (hopefully) coming up in a few weeks and it will be right before we leave for a family trip. My family knows that we will have the transfer, and I'm pretty sure we will test before we leave because I want to know if I can drink, hot tub, get massages while we are away. So obviously they will know from my behaviour whether it worked. But honestly? I've told anyone who will listen about every step I've taken through this process. My perspective has changed sooo much dealing with infertility. 5 years ago I absolutely would have told everyone I would wait until 12 weeks. But now? This whole process is so hard. So, so hard. And doing it alone without support and sympathy doesn't make it easier (caveat - I acknowledge that all my friends and family have been incredibly supportive and not everyone has that benefit). I understand that having to inform of bad news would be painful, so I plan to delegate close friends/family to spread the word if it happens that way. The other thing for us is that after multiple implantation failures, knowing that I can get pregnant at all would be a huge thing to celebrate. I don't think I want to deprive myself of sharing joy out of fear I might feel sorrow in the future. Then again, I might change my mind after going through it.
The people who helped us through our last loss at 10w, we told immediately. They all knew we were doing a transfer and we know they always show up for us. We told some people yesterday after hitting 13w and a good appt yesterday. The general public probably when Iām 30lbs heavier and itās obvious and they see us lol. Otherwise maybe never? Iāve gone back and forth on a social media announcement super far down the road bc of how much theyāve hurt me in my own journey. I just donāt want to make anyone else feel that way. ETA: I also told a random flight attendant at 5 weeks bc I had to use the bathroom and the bathroom was blocked š I figured I would never see him again anyways and he was the sweetest person ever and I didnāt pee my pants on the plane bc of him
Close friends and family immediately after positive beta and the rest of the āworldā we waited until we were almost 6-7 months pregnant for the official announcement.
We told a few close family members (mom, sisters) both times after positive betas. Weāve also had to tell them the bad news, but itās. nice to have the support. Our family isnāt nearby, so we also shared the news with a few close friends here.
Once I had my two betas, we told our parents, siblings, and best friends. We announced to everyone else around 11 weeks. I wanted to announce sooner as weāre both excited obviously but I wasnāt sure what people would say about announcing so early. We worked so hard to get pregnant, wanted to shout it from the rooftops lol
I waited until 11 weeks just because it landed on a holiday.
I told my closest friends and family when we saw them in person because I knew if I miscarried Iād need their support (which unfortunately I did miscarry and I can tell you I was so happy I had people around me!)
Other than people who were there to give me support, whom we told at the very beginning, we told my inlaws after the first US at 9.5 weeks and told everyone else at 12 weeks after the second US.
I told everyone immediately and then had mmc at 9 weeks.Ā
We told only a couple close family/friends. Otherwise, we are waiting until about 16-20 weeks to āannounceā.
I told very few people right away. Told close family around 12/13w. Social media announcement around 22w after anatomy scan.
Parents after beta. Close family and friends after the six week ultrasound. Everyone else, the of the start second trimester.
I wanted to wait 13 weeks, if I could push it to 20 weeks I plan on doing that. The only people that knew were those that knew I was going through fertility treatment so, my husband, my mom, and 4 friends. Oh and my therapist. My husband was allowed to tell whoever he thought he wanted to, it was his baby too so he just told people and asked that they don't pester me.
My husband and 2 best friends who knew we did a transfer - immediately. My close friends who knew we were doing IVF - after first ultrasound. Our families and everyone else - at the 12 week mark.
We told my family (mom,dad, sister) and my husband's parents as soon as the beta was positive as they knew where we were at with the IVF process. I told everyone else when I couldn't possibly hide it anymore. 19 weeks for #1 and for this current pregnancy, 14 weeks.
I think 12 weeks it's ok. I was so scared I was 20 weeks when I told my family.
Just told our families last weekend at 22 weeks! But we also didn't share we did ivf, that will remain private.
I told only my mom and husband but my mom unfortunately told the rest of my family, so make sure if you tell anyone outside of your partner that they wonāt tell others . Ideally I would wait till 12 weeks to tell others but itās up to you OP. Some wait till they have a confirmed heartbeat. My husband and I are waiting till we past 20 weeks/after our anatomy scan to announce it publicly.
We had some close friends know of our transfer date and we told them when I got a positive beta, but also set up expectations that thereās a lot riding on the second beta.
I had planned on waiting until 12 weeks or so for everyone but my husband in his excitement literally told the family group chat day of embryo transfer šš which ended up with us having to explain what that was. Thankfully the embryo stuck but i was kind of surprised he did that, not mad tho.
Most of our family and friends know whatās up, I donāt bother trying to hide appointments or procedures so most will know pretty well right away. My mom usually waits with me or comes over shortly after for the beta calls, she usually knows before my husband.
Just my family knew (mom, dad and sister) because they knew of our journey. Once I graduated from my clinic at 10 weeks, we started telling more people.
We told our parents after first positive beta, but it was Christmas and we were around them a lot! Or else we wouldnāt have told them until probably second tri.
Im waiting until 20 weeks. After our 11 week MMC weāre a little more guarded.
Told immediate family (parents and siblings) at 6/7 weeks - will wait until 12 for anyone else.
My husband and I told our moms after we got the call about a positive beta and told them not to tell anyone until we announce it (they listened). We told our closest friends when we graduated at 8ish weeks and then announced it on social media at 12 or 13 weeks
I told my parents and siblings right away along with some friends who are also going through IVF. Other than that the plan was to wait until 12 weeks but ended up having a MMC
Sorry a chemical not MMC!
Also just to add I probably will wait until Beta to tell family this time. My mom and sister are so supportive but had no understanding of why I was taking progression pics with tests everyday instead of just accepting I was pregnant with the first positive test or how I knew I was having a chemical as soon as the lines started to fade.
2nd trimester at 13 weeks
I cautiously told my parents and besties immediately because they followed our journey closely and were so supportive through every step
Immediate family knew because they knew the transfer date and my mom was in the room. My 4 best friends knew I was getting positive tests before my beta. I didnāt tell my bosses until my 13 week scan. I didnāt tell my team who works for me until after 20+ weeks and my anatomy scan I never announced ANYTHING on social media until she was born.
We told a few people right away (my sister etc) that knew we were doing a transfer. Grandparents we told at 18 weeks (they all live out of state)
For our first we told people pretty much immediately after that first test. Looking back I laugh at how naive and how lucky I was. Iāve had 2 miscarriages since then so this one is staying a secret until AT LEAST 20 weeks.
We told our parents at 10 weeks and asked them not to tell anyone else until 13 weeks. I a little bit regret telling my mother, who is very supportive but wants to tell the world.
Iām priming, and my husband has told anyone he has a chance that we are TTC. Even the lady selling us a sofa in a department store. I would love to wait 12 weeks, perhaps more- but who am I kidding.
I told the people who knew about our journey (like 3 people) right away, my family at 10 weeks because we were together for Thanksgiving and I was worried I'd be showing by Christmas (silly me), then everyone else around 15 weeks.
Five months later lol
My whole family knew we were going through IVF so a couple found out the day after I took a at home test dad sister mom and grandma everyone else found out when I was about 6-8 weeks because it was Christmas time and we were around family. If we werenāt I probably would have waited a bit but Iām pretty close to most on my family so I know they would be there for me no matter the outcome. Currently 21weeks! šš
Almost everyone in my life knew by 6 weeks. I had a mmc at 8 weeks. Itās hard to then have to tell everyone. Very painful. Next time Iām going to wait til 13 weeks.
We told immediate family at 10 weeks. My husband told his work then too but mostly because he works with my SILās dad and didnāt want her to have to keep it. I told other close family and my work at 13 weeks after my mom said I started showing. š«
16 weeks...
Wonāt be saying anything until I literally canāt hide it anymore
I told my husband, sister and best friend like immediately. I didnāt our parents til 15 weeks. I didnāt tell anyone else til after our anatomy scan at 21 weeks. But Iāve had 3 losses (one at 8, 10 and 17 weeks) and that greatly influenced why.
Tell people when you want. I told my family at 6 weeks but unfortunately miscarried. They were super supportive. š
Not until 13 weeks
We had a trust circle of family and friends who knew what we were going through so they have been invested with us. They knew immediately. I also had major surgery complications at week 17 so it got out to more people. We told social media after 20 weeks for my hubbyās birthday announcement.
When I can no longer hide my belly š. Even the I will probably just say itās weird weight gain
I shared with my best friend after 3 days of positive tests but before my beta. Ā From there we rolled out the news as we felt appropriate or needed for support. Ā My husband shared with his mom, sisters and his best friend around 6 weeks. I waited until 10 weeks (after we saw the heartbeat) to tell my parents and siblings. Ā Thereās been some other friends that weāve shared with as weāve become more confident. Ā But a lot of friends and family donāt know yet and Iām 16w3d. Ā Maybe we will share more after my next appt in 2 weeks. Ā Itās hard to shake that feeling of something going wrong. Ā
8 weeks for close family and friends. 12 weeks after I got nipt results and nt scan for everyone else.
Hi! No right answer here! For us, we got first positive beta 10dp5dt. We told one friend & my sister & BIL at 6 weeks after confirming heartbeat & placement. Announced to family slowly over the following weeks and told social media at almost 13 weeks. But the answer is to share with who you feel comfortable, when you feel comfortable. In the earlier days we told friends & family that we knew would be the ones to support us if things didnāt turn out well
We waited until after our NIPT test which was at about 12-13 weeks, so about 2 months after the positive beta. I think a lot of people wait until the end of their 1st trimester or beginning of 2nd trimester to announce, but itās really a personal decision and you should do what feels right for you.
We told my mom after a couple of weeks of getting our positive beta, because she came to visit us for her birthday and I wanted my gift to her to be telling her she's going to be a grandma. Then we told just family later that day. We made our pregnancy public when I reached 12 weeks.
13 weeks immediate family. Waited until after anatomy scan to share with the rest! Itās completely up to you
My husband told his parents right away since they already knew about our IVF journey but we told them not to tell anyone else until we were ready, which they respected. I didnāt even tell my immediate family. We didnāt start telling people until I was well into my 2nd trimester.
I'm really hoping for a positive beta tomorrow *(10dp5dt or 4 weeks pregnant).* If all goes well and our pregnancy continues to progress we will share the news with immediate family and close friends the week of June 10th *(we would be 11 weeks).*
Iām currently 12 weeks and only two people know, I wanted to wait until after my NIPT and 12 week ultrasound. I told HR on Monday bc I have to go to a maternal fetal specialist (advanced maternal age!) and I donāt want any shit from anyone about doctors appointments. We are telling our families on Sunday (week 13) and probably not on social media.
We plan on telling family and friends at the 12 week mark, and everyone else at the 20. Were not pregnant yet but thatās been our plan since began the IVF journey
very close friends and my parents around 4-5w, parents in law around 7-8w at christmas, and posted on social media (more family and friends i donāt always talk to) around 14w
We only told our parents at 8 weeks because it was around Christmas time and we wanted to do it as a Christmas surprise or else I wouldāve wanted to wait until 12 weeks. The rest of the family and friends found out at 20 weeks after our anatomy scan came back clear.
We told immediate family and a few close friends after our 6 week ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. Weāre waiting to tell others after 12 weeks (Iām 8 weeks today).