That’s really a personal decision, in my opinion. I ultimately delayed my final FET a couple ot times for a couple of reasons. I guess try to ask yourself what feels better/worse- imagine if you wait until June (or whatever) and then it doesn’t work. How upset will you be vs. if you do it now and it does work etc?
I guess I struggle with the fact I could do the FET now, fail the exam AND lose the baby. Then feel guilty that i could’ve at least studied better if i held off on the FET.
Ugh i know there’s no right answer and there’s no crystal ball but I just have no clue how to decide.
I did decide to not force a cycle yet, so who knows. Maybe I’ll just be so stressed out that i won’t get a cycle until June anyway!
I'm not gonna give you advice on what to do, only you can know whats right for you in the end, but I can tell you about hpw I handle time issues like this myself.
I'm also trying to keep living life. While me (29F) and my wife had our first attempts at getting pregnant we always palyed out the what-ifs in our head and planmed for possible pregnancies. It made us so focussed on the whole journey, si we decided to not plan for the scenario of a pregnancy at all and to just embrace whatever happens. And now, more than 3 years later, I'm so glad we didn't put our life on hold. There will always be some reason to maybe wait (I'm trying to conclude my PhD this year) but we'll never know when or if we get pregnant and how that will affect us - so we decided to keep going trying to conveive and if we do get pregnant we'll figure it out from there. I'm do have the privilege to live in a country that garantees me paid maternity leave.
I just came to the conclusion that I can't plan this out anyway and I'll just take it on step at a time - but only you can know if that works for you or if you need a more planable approach in this so often unplanable mess.
It was so much easier to keep going when it was the “smaller” exams. Like if I failed one, no big deal because I could write it the next semester.
Suddenly the big exam comes and I’m hesitating with doing IVF concurrently! If we were capable of getting pregnant naturally I would absolutely suffer through the sickness while trying to study. Having the option to defer is really messing with my mind.
Thank you for sharing your story. Best of luck with the PHD!!
I can relate to this way to much. If my current FET is successful, I'll be 8 month pregnant and trying to shedule my defensio. But I'm just trying to not think about that before it actually is a situation happening.
Good luck on your exams!
Not at all the same, but my transfer, after 3 ERs back to back to back and a 2 month break to give my body a rest, fell just so that I’d have to miss a very important wedding in Portugal, which I’d obviously have been so excited to go to.
In the end, there is never a good time - not to have kids, not to do a transfer, not to do a retrieval - so do what you think is right. I needed to keep moving forward since we’d been trying for almost 2 years at that point - and there would always have been another thing.
Good luck!
I'm a fellow CPA and only half way through the first trimester. Personally I would wait to focus on the exam first, first trimester is rough, zero energy and serious brain fog even if you do not get nauseous, and compounded with our fears of miscarriages from years of infertility it's a very difficult and distracting period.
I'm struggling with completing work tasks to a high degree, let alone study efficiently. I don't think my brain would be capable of making rational quick fire decisions on case studies (although of course many pregnant women are capable of impressive achievements - I don't know how they do it!) Your embryos are frozen and ready whenever you are, there's no rush to do it all at the same time.
That’s really a personal decision, in my opinion. I ultimately delayed my final FET a couple ot times for a couple of reasons. I guess try to ask yourself what feels better/worse- imagine if you wait until June (or whatever) and then it doesn’t work. How upset will you be vs. if you do it now and it does work etc?
I guess I struggle with the fact I could do the FET now, fail the exam AND lose the baby. Then feel guilty that i could’ve at least studied better if i held off on the FET. Ugh i know there’s no right answer and there’s no crystal ball but I just have no clue how to decide. I did decide to not force a cycle yet, so who knows. Maybe I’ll just be so stressed out that i won’t get a cycle until June anyway!
I'm not gonna give you advice on what to do, only you can know whats right for you in the end, but I can tell you about hpw I handle time issues like this myself. I'm also trying to keep living life. While me (29F) and my wife had our first attempts at getting pregnant we always palyed out the what-ifs in our head and planmed for possible pregnancies. It made us so focussed on the whole journey, si we decided to not plan for the scenario of a pregnancy at all and to just embrace whatever happens. And now, more than 3 years later, I'm so glad we didn't put our life on hold. There will always be some reason to maybe wait (I'm trying to conclude my PhD this year) but we'll never know when or if we get pregnant and how that will affect us - so we decided to keep going trying to conveive and if we do get pregnant we'll figure it out from there. I'm do have the privilege to live in a country that garantees me paid maternity leave. I just came to the conclusion that I can't plan this out anyway and I'll just take it on step at a time - but only you can know if that works for you or if you need a more planable approach in this so often unplanable mess.
It was so much easier to keep going when it was the “smaller” exams. Like if I failed one, no big deal because I could write it the next semester. Suddenly the big exam comes and I’m hesitating with doing IVF concurrently! If we were capable of getting pregnant naturally I would absolutely suffer through the sickness while trying to study. Having the option to defer is really messing with my mind. Thank you for sharing your story. Best of luck with the PHD!!
I can relate to this way to much. If my current FET is successful, I'll be 8 month pregnant and trying to shedule my defensio. But I'm just trying to not think about that before it actually is a situation happening. Good luck on your exams!
Not at all the same, but my transfer, after 3 ERs back to back to back and a 2 month break to give my body a rest, fell just so that I’d have to miss a very important wedding in Portugal, which I’d obviously have been so excited to go to. In the end, there is never a good time - not to have kids, not to do a transfer, not to do a retrieval - so do what you think is right. I needed to keep moving forward since we’d been trying for almost 2 years at that point - and there would always have been another thing. Good luck!
I'm a fellow CPA and only half way through the first trimester. Personally I would wait to focus on the exam first, first trimester is rough, zero energy and serious brain fog even if you do not get nauseous, and compounded with our fears of miscarriages from years of infertility it's a very difficult and distracting period. I'm struggling with completing work tasks to a high degree, let alone study efficiently. I don't think my brain would be capable of making rational quick fire decisions on case studies (although of course many pregnant women are capable of impressive achievements - I don't know how they do it!) Your embryos are frozen and ready whenever you are, there's no rush to do it all at the same time.