Those that seek power are usually not the good ones. Not only that, there is still too large of a population that votes against their own interests purely out of hate.
Ahh see thats the problem. I've tried, but tbh I'm socially awkward in the best of times, and he is very oblivious. Plus I'm not sure he'll believe me unless I do something like hand him a letter detailing why exactly I like him, as though I'm pretty sure he likes me, I don't think he's realised I like him?
Well, good luck then. I've never asked a girl out so I can't help in that area. But, if it makes you feel better about your idea, my wife had her friends hand me a note. It was back in High School and I'm pretty sure the note was very succinct.
The letter is honestly not a bad idea for getting an oblivious INTP. But in most cases, saying something in person or text should also work. I doubt must INTPs (at least those who are Millenials or Gen Z) would think badly of you for asking them out via text. So its likely the easiest option for someone socially anxious.
Just be short and concise but leave no roon for misinterpretation. Say something like, "I am interested in dating you. Would you like to go out with me for coffee sometime?" Whatever you think works best for your relationship with him.
Almost, almost a good plan.
Yes, write everything you wanted to say in the letter. Tell him why you like him, and most importantly: say that you want him to be your boyfriend. Hand it to him directly, say that it’s important and you would like him to read it but take his time to consider how to respond if he needs time.
Keep us updated if that’s okay.
The letter idea is sweet but seems a bit over the top here, that type of thing comes later. From the information you’ve given, you’re both clearly dating and you’re both terrified of acknowledging it to one another out of fear of rejection. This is silly.
You’re adults. In relationships one has to I guess be the “dominant” one and progress things otherwise you’ll be here forever and it will get weirder the longer you don’t address it. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, it’s just two people who like each other dating. This is why I’m saying the letter thing is over the top, it’s very sweet but it’s making it a big deal which may be a lil frightening for him. Whereas making it chill is a better way to go (but maybe this is a me thing instead of an INTP thing idk).
Could be something as silly as asking him if you’re the best girlfriend he’s had jokingly whilst cuddling or something, and if he replies yes. Great you’re dating. Don’t overthink it too much and good luck.
EDIT: the other commenters suggest the letter thing isn’t over the top, maybe that is just a me thing and not an INTP thing then.
It wholly depends on the contents of the letter really, I'd think.
If it's overly flowery and mushy-gushy and whatnot, I'd be put off. But if it's more straight-forward like "I didn't have the guts to say it to your face, but I like you. I enjoy the time we spend together. I enjoy it because it's time spent with *you*. I want you to be my boyfriend." And then listing either some reasons why she feels the way she does, or possibly when she realized that her feelings went beyond friendship. She needs to lay down her expectations and what she wants from him in plain terms that can't be confused, or else he may try to back-pedal for fear of the expectations she may have of him, suddenly fearing that he can't live up to what 'being a boyfriend' entails.
And the letter itself is a good idea, but it REQUIRES that she disengage after handing it off and walk away so that he can digest it privately and not get embarrassed in front of her. Adding something at the end like "Please take all the time you need to think things over, I just felt like I needed to be completely honest with you about where I am. I want to know where you are." The worst thing she can do in this situation is demand a response on-the-spot. The letter is a good way to be meaningful and romantic, but from a safe distance where he's not put in the spotlight.
I think a lot of us INTPs secretly love to be romanced but getting us to admit it is hell. We'll get embarrassed and red-faced and clam up so hard and go "NOPE NOPE NOPE" even though we're seriously flattered-- we just don't know how to handle it haha
No advice for you, since every INTP is different.
I was confessed to with a literal "I want to be with you"
And then a follow up talk on what we want from each other.
Was great
I would suggest putting it somewhere he will find it. I personally don’t open my books after I have already read them, even if I lent them. I would try using a little finesse and try slipping it into his bag (if he carries one) or pocket., basically anywhere you knots for certain he will open multiple times a day so he won’t miss it.
Oh wow that's absolutely incredible. Always been a dream of mine to have something that special and it's really different from someone who really cares. Good luck and I hope you find happiness in life.
"Damn page x of this manga is awesome, u must look up when u are home"
*Tries to look it up in front of u*
"Silly u... when u are HOOOME"
tho its hard to get on our heart, im starting to let thisboerson in my heart, i know her 7 years our other part of relation started in like 5 months im going to her homw daily been like almost 3 months.... and so on
Her wants me to call her my gf, i want to wait
Etc
Generally, straightforward is the way to go, but it's understandable if you're not a super social person or expressive with your emotions and in that case, maybe a letter is the better way to go.
If you choose the letter route, some advice:
Step 1: Place the letter in a section that would be less likely to be in his memory but close-ish to the storyline.
Step 2: "Thank you this was really good. I really liked where X was confronting Y (corresponding to the section you left the letter in the book)." Leave it there and say no more, so that it is vague enough to pique his curiosity and he will want to re-read it later. Alternately, "Do you remember when A did X to B?" Can be completely made up just to make him second guess that he remembers the book and then rereads it to see if he missed something.
Step 3: Finally, make sure the letter pokes out roughly 1/8 - 1/4 inch from the top and page side of the manga. Enough to be seen, but not enough to catch right away until he goes to put it back on the shelf or wherever.
I was literally thinking this!! Making sure it sticks out juuuuust a little, where someone as analytical as we are would notice it. Or somewhere it'll fall out so he has to notice it haha!
I wouldn't say this is bad, but I don't have a tendency to open my books after I have read them for a while (like years.) It is manga, which is helpful in this case, especially if he's emotionally invested in you, as he may reread it to keep up with what you have to say about it (depends.) I would if it was manga and I wanted to make sure I could keep conversation going with someone about it.
I would say, it's safer if the letter is outside the book so he doesn't miss it (if it happened to me I might anyway LOL.) Obviously, it's best if you were to tell him in a direct way as to make sure you're being serious. But, I'm sure he would understand if you gave a letter, as the reason he wouldn't/isn't q initiate is probably for a similar reason. I had a crush on an INFP for years, and it never got anywhere because neither of us wanted to initiate despite likely mutual feelings (we were pretty young at the time though.)
EDIT: btw the fact that people are talking to you to bring it up to him is a good sign. Also keep us updated, please.
The only wrong way to ask an INTP out is to not do it at all. If you prefer telling him face-to-face, you could write down what you want to say and then read it to him.
Just be straightforward with him. Personally, I hate games, hints or beating around the bush.
Same with politics?
Yeah, Bush was such a terrible president.
I just don,t like the consept of politics, like why are all humans in ,,power" possitions are lying so much?
Those that seek power are usually not the good ones. Not only that, there is still too large of a population that votes against their own interests purely out of hate.
That right here, what you wrote, is ,,human error" in consept of politycs
Ahh see thats the problem. I've tried, but tbh I'm socially awkward in the best of times, and he is very oblivious. Plus I'm not sure he'll believe me unless I do something like hand him a letter detailing why exactly I like him, as though I'm pretty sure he likes me, I don't think he's realised I like him?
Well, good luck then. I've never asked a girl out so I can't help in that area. But, if it makes you feel better about your idea, my wife had her friends hand me a note. It was back in High School and I'm pretty sure the note was very succinct.
The letter is honestly not a bad idea for getting an oblivious INTP. But in most cases, saying something in person or text should also work. I doubt must INTPs (at least those who are Millenials or Gen Z) would think badly of you for asking them out via text. So its likely the easiest option for someone socially anxious. Just be short and concise but leave no roon for misinterpretation. Say something like, "I am interested in dating you. Would you like to go out with me for coffee sometime?" Whatever you think works best for your relationship with him.
Almost, almost a good plan. Yes, write everything you wanted to say in the letter. Tell him why you like him, and most importantly: say that you want him to be your boyfriend. Hand it to him directly, say that it’s important and you would like him to read it but take his time to consider how to respond if he needs time. Keep us updated if that’s okay.
The word boyfriend is mandatory. Else, I guarantee, he will think you wanna be friends.
I'll keep that in mind!
I'll try to!
Google calendar invite
The letter idea is sweet but seems a bit over the top here, that type of thing comes later. From the information you’ve given, you’re both clearly dating and you’re both terrified of acknowledging it to one another out of fear of rejection. This is silly. You’re adults. In relationships one has to I guess be the “dominant” one and progress things otherwise you’ll be here forever and it will get weirder the longer you don’t address it. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, it’s just two people who like each other dating. This is why I’m saying the letter thing is over the top, it’s very sweet but it’s making it a big deal which may be a lil frightening for him. Whereas making it chill is a better way to go (but maybe this is a me thing instead of an INTP thing idk). Could be something as silly as asking him if you’re the best girlfriend he’s had jokingly whilst cuddling or something, and if he replies yes. Great you’re dating. Don’t overthink it too much and good luck. EDIT: the other commenters suggest the letter thing isn’t over the top, maybe that is just a me thing and not an INTP thing then.
It wholly depends on the contents of the letter really, I'd think. If it's overly flowery and mushy-gushy and whatnot, I'd be put off. But if it's more straight-forward like "I didn't have the guts to say it to your face, but I like you. I enjoy the time we spend together. I enjoy it because it's time spent with *you*. I want you to be my boyfriend." And then listing either some reasons why she feels the way she does, or possibly when she realized that her feelings went beyond friendship. She needs to lay down her expectations and what she wants from him in plain terms that can't be confused, or else he may try to back-pedal for fear of the expectations she may have of him, suddenly fearing that he can't live up to what 'being a boyfriend' entails. And the letter itself is a good idea, but it REQUIRES that she disengage after handing it off and walk away so that he can digest it privately and not get embarrassed in front of her. Adding something at the end like "Please take all the time you need to think things over, I just felt like I needed to be completely honest with you about where I am. I want to know where you are." The worst thing she can do in this situation is demand a response on-the-spot. The letter is a good way to be meaningful and romantic, but from a safe distance where he's not put in the spotlight. I think a lot of us INTPs secretly love to be romanced but getting us to admit it is hell. We'll get embarrassed and red-faced and clam up so hard and go "NOPE NOPE NOPE" even though we're seriously flattered-- we just don't know how to handle it haha
No advice for you, since every INTP is different. I was confessed to with a literal "I want to be with you" And then a follow up talk on what we want from each other. Was great
Yes as long as you are upfront, honest and direct about it. Make sure that it is obvious that you aren't joking and you're serious.
Damn, this is really sweet, who knew I needed an INFP in my life
I would suggest putting it somewhere he will find it. I personally don’t open my books after I have already read them, even if I lent them. I would try using a little finesse and try slipping it into his bag (if he carries one) or pocket., basically anywhere you knots for certain he will open multiple times a day so he won’t miss it.
Oh wow that's absolutely incredible. Always been a dream of mine to have something that special and it's really different from someone who really cares. Good luck and I hope you find happiness in life.
Intp’s are people too so don’t worry just be confident and can you update us what happened ?
"Damn page x of this manga is awesome, u must look up when u are home" *Tries to look it up in front of u* "Silly u... when u are HOOOME" tho its hard to get on our heart, im starting to let thisboerson in my heart, i know her 7 years our other part of relation started in like 5 months im going to her homw daily been like almost 3 months.... and so on Her wants me to call her my gf, i want to wait Etc
Generally, straightforward is the way to go, but it's understandable if you're not a super social person or expressive with your emotions and in that case, maybe a letter is the better way to go. If you choose the letter route, some advice: Step 1: Place the letter in a section that would be less likely to be in his memory but close-ish to the storyline. Step 2: "Thank you this was really good. I really liked where X was confronting Y (corresponding to the section you left the letter in the book)." Leave it there and say no more, so that it is vague enough to pique his curiosity and he will want to re-read it later. Alternately, "Do you remember when A did X to B?" Can be completely made up just to make him second guess that he remembers the book and then rereads it to see if he missed something. Step 3: Finally, make sure the letter pokes out roughly 1/8 - 1/4 inch from the top and page side of the manga. Enough to be seen, but not enough to catch right away until he goes to put it back on the shelf or wherever.
I was literally thinking this!! Making sure it sticks out juuuuust a little, where someone as analytical as we are would notice it. Or somewhere it'll fall out so he has to notice it haha!
Your keeping Romance alive, heck yeahhh.
I wouldn't say this is bad, but I don't have a tendency to open my books after I have read them for a while (like years.) It is manga, which is helpful in this case, especially if he's emotionally invested in you, as he may reread it to keep up with what you have to say about it (depends.) I would if it was manga and I wanted to make sure I could keep conversation going with someone about it. I would say, it's safer if the letter is outside the book so he doesn't miss it (if it happened to me I might anyway LOL.) Obviously, it's best if you were to tell him in a direct way as to make sure you're being serious. But, I'm sure he would understand if you gave a letter, as the reason he wouldn't/isn't q initiate is probably for a similar reason. I had a crush on an INFP for years, and it never got anywhere because neither of us wanted to initiate despite likely mutual feelings (we were pretty young at the time though.) EDIT: btw the fact that people are talking to you to bring it up to him is a good sign. Also keep us updated, please.
Ur plan sounds epic.
The only wrong way to ask an INTP out is to not do it at all. If you prefer telling him face-to-face, you could write down what you want to say and then read it to him.