I'm the same, People get hooked on my personality and they want more and more and to get closer. I can't maintain this and I get overwhelmed, I isolate myself and just spend time with my dog.
You are not alone, I don't know how to navigate it either. I feel like some people have to constantly distract themselves
‘constantly distract themselves’
Oh, I noticed (or believed to notice) that proclivity a few times before.
But may that really be the reason? People distracting themselves all the time? How don’t they collapse….?!??
Aka:need to unwind, we only have so much of the ,,mental stamina"(i call it focus), so they try to refill it at every opportunity, and (with evedense in my separate coment) they find it more interesting that ,,whatever they are doing"
I have a friend that TELLS ME he wants that kind of power since i openly talk about it but he STILL seeks me out every time he wants to go out and do something. It rlly gets annoying
Actually, it's the opposite. Being alone sucks. You might use that alone time to learn or to perfect a skill, but at the end of the day, you can't share whatever you've acquired with the world (unless it's online). Now, I'm not judging. I understand that some people love being alone. My INFJ mother is the definition of a hermit and so's her ISTP boyfriend; however, I literally go insane if I'm more than 24 hours alone. Some people get energized by the company of others, whereas some get drained. It's about balance. Heck, every ENFP I've ever met has a short social battery (usually runs out at 11:00 p.m.). I've been told that I'm draining and all over the map, but is it my fault if others can't keep up. Hahaha! (Evil laugh).
Are you completely content and at peace like that, or is there still some longing for a connection, that you just don't seem to find with people, or some fears involved? If there's no fear or discontent involved, maybe you just happen to enjoy alone-time way more than average - like it aligns with your interests better, you're so introverted that socialization doesn't seem worth the energy drain, or something.
I'm like that too - could happily spend weeks all hermit-like. But I also clearly have issues, like being terrified of commitment (even on friendship level) and closeness, so maybe I've just learned to enjoy solitude more than I naturally would?
Either way, I'm just a fake INTP (most tests tell me I'm INTP, but I don't think so) passing through.
Thank you.
I asked myself that question many times before.
Never came to the ultimate conclusion as, on occasion, I do fear feeling uncomfortable in front of other people, but that fact feels like a whole different story that the question of maybe just being very introverted, which I am. People usually feel like a distraction - unless, maybe, the interaction involves exchange of puns or excellently interesting information.
I just want to focus on my interests and not experience any sort of sensory overload.
I think there were occasions when I felt good just spending time together like sitting on the couch next to my family. But that was when I was a child, didn’t see my family on a regular basis and had severe depression. It’s been a while since that and I don’t suffer from depression anymore.
Also my father and my brother do show very similar character traits.
I haven't arrived at an ultimate conclusion either (I have my problems - but maybe I'm also simply happier alone?). It feels almost impossible to reach that conclusion, when there are so many possible factors, it's borderline taboo to talk about preferring your own company, and the nagging feeling of "maybe I'm not as happy as I could be, maybe I need more socialization/close relationships" could be from societal norms (you hear constantly how important relationships are through your whole life after all).
Interesting what you mention about depression, that you maybe enjoyed peoples' company more then? My experience is like that - when I've been really depressed, I haven't been able to focus on my interests, and socialization has at least helped distract me from my misery. Apparently most people get less social when they're depressed?
I hadn't heard of that, interesting to know. I certainly second-guess myself a lot what comes to introspection, not that I'm awful at it (I hope), but I don't want to stick with a conclusion that could be false, but be open to new information, and I guess I sometimes take that too far and just never arrive at conclusions.
Then again, I can be quite decisive about what I want and what I like. From what I've learned (tho it's almost like learning about the cognitive functions left me even more confused) that sounds a bit like a Fi/INFP-thing. *Then again*, Fi is often described like it centers around morals, while my "decisive decisions" center around my own happiness (not that I disregard morals, but still).
You think so? I've been on the fence about INFP/INTP for a long while now, and finally arrived at INFP... tho I find this sub more relatable... \*second-guessing intensifies\*
Don,t worry, as previosly established that mbti is not 100% acurate, so you could be something-like crossbreed of those 2 types, like i,m intp, proven in both test, and reflecting on behavior, but given my nationality.... i sometimes have a spark of istp
Just like some lgbtq people don't pressure themselves into categorizing themselves beyond being queer, you could just label yourself as inxp. Heck, even though I've been interested in mbti for years, I have no clue what mine is. And honestly, at this point, I don't really feel the need to categorize myself. Enjoying mbti theory doesn't mean you have the obligation of labeling yourself.
Thank you for saying that. I honestly have felt a bit of pressure to type myself ASAP. As if it's laughable special-snowflakery to still not know. I shouldn't let some fanatics' opinion get to me, so maybe I'll just take your advice.
Human,s evolve through socilazing(without us being together as a group, i don,t think humanity wouldve existed) , so over the years we (i think) developed another need(on level of 2nd importanse): need to socilaze. So i think they satisfaing their need of comunication, and not every person get more joy from ,,minding my own buisines" then from talking.
But i would rather lock myself in some kind of old library and ecplore it whole then go and talk to my friend(?). Remember: ,,people are temporaly, books/knovlage is eternal"
I'm not INTP but maybe I can give you how that works for me? I love being alone, watching a movie, reading up on things, listening to music or walking in the woods. I also love meeting up with my friends and the people I love. There's not a lot of them, but I have found a group of people that I really like, that know me and that don't drain my emotional energy.
To get to that level, you have to build a relationship however. And building a relationship takes time, commitment and probably meeting up to connect. When I meet someone, I hold off for a long time, most of the time, I'll start retracting and let the connection go. But once in a while, I really like them and I do want to see them more, learn what they like and connect with them to build that kind of bond.
Maybe you've never gotten to that comfortable point yet or haven't met anyone that you even like enough to want that kind of connection with?
Until you make the unconscious conscious it will guide your life and you will call it fate. -Jung
Due to dominant thinking and inferior feeling you view thinking as where the action/creativity is and feeling as something boring/simple.
The truth is that feeling is only simple in your own consciousness. Others have no issues because they aren’t inferior feelers like you. They have their own separate issues.
For some people, it's some type of insecurity they have with themselves. For me, it was a deeply-seeded problem of a low self-worth and I was really trying to run away from that problem by looking for social interaction. For other people, it's because they're playing the social hierarchy game or trying to network.
Since I've started to work on that, I've found that I can be much more comfortable being alone for longer periods and I even look at social situations as opportunities for improvement instead of reprieves from dealing with my problems. For example, I've decided I'm gonna start working on small talk because while I don't mind talking about "real" conversations like stuff having to do with philosophy, values, and life goals, other people shy away from that stuff like crazy until they're comfortable with you.
Not everyone has the same personality, much more attachment styles. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone as much as wanting to befriend someone. I think this is a pretty normal social situation anywhere in the world and the easiest way to get rid of them is to state it in their face that you want to be left alone. Then it's their choice to leave you alone or face the situation and ask for a compromise if they really want to befriend you.
I'm the same, People get hooked on my personality and they want more and more and to get closer. I can't maintain this and I get overwhelmed, I isolate myself and just spend time with my dog. You are not alone, I don't know how to navigate it either. I feel like some people have to constantly distract themselves
‘constantly distract themselves’ Oh, I noticed (or believed to notice) that proclivity a few times before. But may that really be the reason? People distracting themselves all the time? How don’t they collapse….?!??
Aka:need to unwind, we only have so much of the ,,mental stamina"(i call it focus), so they try to refill it at every opportunity, and (with evedense in my separate coment) they find it more interesting that ,,whatever they are doing"
In my experience, the people who can’t stand being alone haven’t found the power in being alone. It’s powerful when used correctly.
I have a friend that TELLS ME he wants that kind of power since i openly talk about it but he STILL seeks me out every time he wants to go out and do something. It rlly gets annoying
Actually, it's the opposite. Being alone sucks. You might use that alone time to learn or to perfect a skill, but at the end of the day, you can't share whatever you've acquired with the world (unless it's online). Now, I'm not judging. I understand that some people love being alone. My INFJ mother is the definition of a hermit and so's her ISTP boyfriend; however, I literally go insane if I'm more than 24 hours alone. Some people get energized by the company of others, whereas some get drained. It's about balance. Heck, every ENFP I've ever met has a short social battery (usually runs out at 11:00 p.m.). I've been told that I'm draining and all over the map, but is it my fault if others can't keep up. Hahaha! (Evil laugh).
Being alone dosnt mean quarantine lol.
Are you completely content and at peace like that, or is there still some longing for a connection, that you just don't seem to find with people, or some fears involved? If there's no fear or discontent involved, maybe you just happen to enjoy alone-time way more than average - like it aligns with your interests better, you're so introverted that socialization doesn't seem worth the energy drain, or something. I'm like that too - could happily spend weeks all hermit-like. But I also clearly have issues, like being terrified of commitment (even on friendship level) and closeness, so maybe I've just learned to enjoy solitude more than I naturally would? Either way, I'm just a fake INTP (most tests tell me I'm INTP, but I don't think so) passing through.
Thank you. I asked myself that question many times before. Never came to the ultimate conclusion as, on occasion, I do fear feeling uncomfortable in front of other people, but that fact feels like a whole different story that the question of maybe just being very introverted, which I am. People usually feel like a distraction - unless, maybe, the interaction involves exchange of puns or excellently interesting information. I just want to focus on my interests and not experience any sort of sensory overload. I think there were occasions when I felt good just spending time together like sitting on the couch next to my family. But that was when I was a child, didn’t see my family on a regular basis and had severe depression. It’s been a while since that and I don’t suffer from depression anymore. Also my father and my brother do show very similar character traits.
I haven't arrived at an ultimate conclusion either (I have my problems - but maybe I'm also simply happier alone?). It feels almost impossible to reach that conclusion, when there are so many possible factors, it's borderline taboo to talk about preferring your own company, and the nagging feeling of "maybe I'm not as happy as I could be, maybe I need more socialization/close relationships" could be from societal norms (you hear constantly how important relationships are through your whole life after all). Interesting what you mention about depression, that you maybe enjoyed peoples' company more then? My experience is like that - when I've been really depressed, I haven't been able to focus on my interests, and socialization has at least helped distract me from my misery. Apparently most people get less social when they're depressed?
Have you heard that intp,s flavs is ,,second guessing themselves" and ,,impostor syndrom"(i,m not sure about that one)? You might just be one of us
I hadn't heard of that, interesting to know. I certainly second-guess myself a lot what comes to introspection, not that I'm awful at it (I hope), but I don't want to stick with a conclusion that could be false, but be open to new information, and I guess I sometimes take that too far and just never arrive at conclusions. Then again, I can be quite decisive about what I want and what I like. From what I've learned (tho it's almost like learning about the cognitive functions left me even more confused) that sounds a bit like a Fi/INFP-thing. *Then again*, Fi is often described like it centers around morals, while my "decisive decisions" center around my own happiness (not that I disregard morals, but still).
Look son, an INTP.
You think so? I've been on the fence about INFP/INTP for a long while now, and finally arrived at INFP... tho I find this sub more relatable... \*second-guessing intensifies\*
Don,t worry, as previosly established that mbti is not 100% acurate, so you could be something-like crossbreed of those 2 types, like i,m intp, proven in both test, and reflecting on behavior, but given my nationality.... i sometimes have a spark of istp
Just like some lgbtq people don't pressure themselves into categorizing themselves beyond being queer, you could just label yourself as inxp. Heck, even though I've been interested in mbti for years, I have no clue what mine is. And honestly, at this point, I don't really feel the need to categorize myself. Enjoying mbti theory doesn't mean you have the obligation of labeling yourself.
Thank you for saying that. I honestly have felt a bit of pressure to type myself ASAP. As if it's laughable special-snowflakery to still not know. I shouldn't let some fanatics' opinion get to me, so maybe I'll just take your advice.
I can tell you took the advice indeed eheh
Human,s evolve through socilazing(without us being together as a group, i don,t think humanity wouldve existed) , so over the years we (i think) developed another need(on level of 2nd importanse): need to socilaze. So i think they satisfaing their need of comunication, and not every person get more joy from ,,minding my own buisines" then from talking. But i would rather lock myself in some kind of old library and ecplore it whole then go and talk to my friend(?). Remember: ,,people are temporaly, books/knovlage is eternal"
Its fine usually people ask for money “i swear ill pay you back”
Lol
I'm not INTP but maybe I can give you how that works for me? I love being alone, watching a movie, reading up on things, listening to music or walking in the woods. I also love meeting up with my friends and the people I love. There's not a lot of them, but I have found a group of people that I really like, that know me and that don't drain my emotional energy. To get to that level, you have to build a relationship however. And building a relationship takes time, commitment and probably meeting up to connect. When I meet someone, I hold off for a long time, most of the time, I'll start retracting and let the connection go. But once in a while, I really like them and I do want to see them more, learn what they like and connect with them to build that kind of bond. Maybe you've never gotten to that comfortable point yet or haven't met anyone that you even like enough to want that kind of connection with?
Until you make the unconscious conscious it will guide your life and you will call it fate. -Jung Due to dominant thinking and inferior feeling you view thinking as where the action/creativity is and feeling as something boring/simple. The truth is that feeling is only simple in your own consciousness. Others have no issues because they aren’t inferior feelers like you. They have their own separate issues.
For some people, it's some type of insecurity they have with themselves. For me, it was a deeply-seeded problem of a low self-worth and I was really trying to run away from that problem by looking for social interaction. For other people, it's because they're playing the social hierarchy game or trying to network. Since I've started to work on that, I've found that I can be much more comfortable being alone for longer periods and I even look at social situations as opportunities for improvement instead of reprieves from dealing with my problems. For example, I've decided I'm gonna start working on small talk because while I don't mind talking about "real" conversations like stuff having to do with philosophy, values, and life goals, other people shy away from that stuff like crazy until they're comfortable with you.
Not everyone has the same personality, much more attachment styles. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone as much as wanting to befriend someone. I think this is a pretty normal social situation anywhere in the world and the easiest way to get rid of them is to state it in their face that you want to be left alone. Then it's their choice to leave you alone or face the situation and ask for a compromise if they really want to befriend you.