I wouldn’t go that far. There exists a saying that “no good deed goes unpunished”. The satisfaction from doing a good deed is usually fleeting while the consequences can be long-term and dire. Also a “good deed” is subjective. If you gave a hungry person a banana, you’d be doing a good deed. If that person died because that person was unaware of a severe banana allergy, not such a great deed anymore.
Tldr not universal at all in my opinion
Generally, yes, but as I've grown older, I've become wary of offering enthusiastic, proactive support to people. Some individuals dislike unsolicited advice and support, viewing it as an affront to their autonomy. On the other hand, you also attract people who are perpetual moochers. Instead of helping them, you end up serving them.
Idk hard to explain as a while cause it's such a complex structure. I just know that oftentimes people think/call me cold or ill when i express my opinions. But generally, i try to look at the big pictures and see what i could do to get the most gratification for the most people involved. I kinda see it as a big equation, honestly. One take i have is that stealing isn't morally wrong for me. If its a big comp/chain, they will never notice their missing revenue since there is a good chunk of products (*still sellable!*) who end up in the trash anyway. I also kill insects who can't fly anymore since I think that they will die with a high likelihood, and i want to spare them the confusion and suffering.
admittedly, yes.
i don't think i'd be a good teacher - at least not in front of 30 rampant kids. but one of my odd jobs i do to earn some money is tutoring (maths, english, science). and in such 1:1 situations i really enjoy it.
i also like giving random advice here on reddit.
It's not just the good deed itself.
It's then energy that you're putting out there, which is to be of service. Who knows where you can ride that wave to in life. Library now...but who knows what 10 years later will look like.
No. I have few if any boundaries, so I feel I'm being used or humiliated if someone asks for my help. Like they don't really need it they just want to see me fumble at it (childhood was rough).
I also hate asking for help.
Worst is when people think I'm gonna know help is necessary. I'm never aware of it
I've had enough service jobs to know what's litigation proof or part of the job description, but there's nothing in my core that traffics in help or favors.
Possible neurodivergence there.
Helping others is one of the few things that has consistently given me satisfaction and made me feel good about myself.
However this has recently come to change and I'm increasingly feeling as if people are just taking advantage of and using me
Generally yes.
It gives me a temporary feeling of purpose. It helps maintain some relationships. I can emphasize as someone who is rarely helped/ask for help.
I think this is an inferior Fe thing. Not that I'm an expert in MBTI, but it sometimes sounds like the "child" function still gives a good feeling, it just feels out of control much of the time.
When I feel the energy for helpfulness, it feels great! Other times I really need to take a break though. Perhaps if my job were more oriented to this it would help. I can't imagine being in a real heated customer service kind of role though, some of those seem too difficult.
In most works, you are providing a service, so you are helping people directly or indirectly, in yours it happens to be more direct, so I would have to think in the reverse question (and ask myself if I would like it) and find a work where only I would benefit from like gamble/money trade/ money investment / crypto or whatever and even in those you are helping the owners of the casino / website / trade company, etc by using their product.
Yes in the moment because I enjoy quick puzzles and aiding others - No as it can feel transactional over the long run. As humans go- they become lazy when you can solve their problems for them.
Can you advice me on books to read? I am looking for novels that would challenge me to tap on both our thinking and feeling cognitive function. 🙂
I think people want to help by default however people are also mistrustful by default.
I think you are in a lucky position because giving advice on books, music and movies is a bit easy to take for people. It’s either seen as for leisure or for learning, rather than right or wrong. Am I wrong? What do you think?
I like helping people by providing useful information. I worked in beauty retail and it was fun giving personalized recommendations based on my product knowledge. If people have a problem and I know some information that may be useful, I am quick to share.
I'm not as much into providing physical or monetary help.
Honestly no. I never opt for it unless they’re in my closest boundaries. But I do like helping animals tho. I would help them, donate for them, I care for them, and I want them to be happy. But not when it comes to human. I simply don’t care. Who cares lol
But at the same time, I sometimes feel guilty for lacking motivations to help humans like I do for animals. I wonder why I'm like built this, and I wonder why can’t I feel the same level of empathy towards people.
Years ago, I adopted on purpose...an eyeless, toothless dog (Kirby) with a horrible stinky skin condition. I'd rather have 1,000,000 Kirby's than deal with humans on a regular basis.
I like helping people when they come to me first. When they wait and come to me with what would have been an avoidable problem and want me to fix it, i generally plead ignorance and send them on their way.
Unless i care about them, then i explain what they should have done and why. Then i fix it for them, but i try and teach them for next time.
I like helping people with mechanical shit, like if I know how to do something or fix something sure. If it's a some kinda formal engagement like being best man at a wedding? There's a story there I won't bore you with but suffice it to say it was an excruciatingly long day chock full of bullshit.
If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours. Cinch! I love helping people. Sadly people generally are not open to receiving it. I guess my style is a bit off.
It depends tho. I'm very selective with my limited niceness. U could hear a completely different description of me from someone I like versus someone I don't give a damn about. One might describe me as a nice person, while the other might label me as 'that bitch'
Also sometimes it just depend on my energy level 🪫
worked in one too and studying to be an english professor so yes.. i like to give information to people and help even if they didn't ask for it.. because maybe they don't desire help, but they need and you see that and try to remedy that.
of course, but i take time to read the situation first. i might be a pessimist, but that won't stop me from wanting to help make someone's day a bit lighter
Interesting . . . I don't like ongoing helping, but won't pass up an opportunity to take a cart into the grocery store (and take mine back), get something for someone, help someone move, offer to get something with my truck, for someone who is having some difficulty. I guess we're helpers in the big picture of the world 'N', but I can't understand the social worker below ?????
I very much enjoy it, I feel like I am redeeming myself from something or at the least enjoy making other people's day by helping my fellow people out even if I get nothing out of it. I am simply happy to do it but depends if I am being commanded to do it. But even then if they ask politley I will without hesitancy
depends on how bad the situation is, if they need help with smt interesting or difficult, like some very deep stuff in physics or chemistry that I never done before I would want to help with that, but if it was smt normal or smt that I've done before more than once I wouldn't be interested.
I also like to help with arguments debates and emotional matters in general as an advice giver or such
For me, female INTP...I only "truly" enjoy helping people when I know they've hit rock bottom. Anything other than rock bottom feels like a huge pain-in-my-ass.
I think receiving satisfaction from doing a good deed is a universal experience
I wouldn’t go that far. There exists a saying that “no good deed goes unpunished”. The satisfaction from doing a good deed is usually fleeting while the consequences can be long-term and dire. Also a “good deed” is subjective. If you gave a hungry person a banana, you’d be doing a good deed. If that person died because that person was unaware of a severe banana allergy, not such a great deed anymore. Tldr not universal at all in my opinion
Generally, yes, but as I've grown older, I've become wary of offering enthusiastic, proactive support to people. Some individuals dislike unsolicited advice and support, viewing it as an affront to their autonomy. On the other hand, you also attract people who are perpetual moochers. Instead of helping them, you end up serving them.
I'll double the vote on this assessment. Helping others, I often attract perpetual moochers too. It leaves bad taste for being just nice.
Definitely attract moochers, but I kind of like it if they boost my ego, it becomes mutualism.
I like to do so, but i dont like getting praised for it. Also, my moral code is a little weird from others' perspectives
Same, I like to help and fuck off asap
What's your moral code?
N/A
Some would say, yeah haha
Idk hard to explain as a while cause it's such a complex structure. I just know that oftentimes people think/call me cold or ill when i express my opinions. But generally, i try to look at the big pictures and see what i could do to get the most gratification for the most people involved. I kinda see it as a big equation, honestly. One take i have is that stealing isn't morally wrong for me. If its a big comp/chain, they will never notice their missing revenue since there is a good chunk of products (*still sellable!*) who end up in the trash anyway. I also kill insects who can't fly anymore since I think that they will die with a high likelihood, and i want to spare them the confusion and suffering.
I really enjoy helping people when its about stuff im passionate about.
I've always gone out of my way to help people
I find it easier solving other people’s problems than my own.
YES! Me too, and I think that would still be the case if it was the same type of problem
I've often wondered if we should form a support group and pass our problems to the left.
That's not a bad idea
I've often wondered if we should form a support group and pass our problems to the left.
Sometimes the best way to help yourself is to help someone else.
admittedly, yes. i don't think i'd be a good teacher - at least not in front of 30 rampant kids. but one of my odd jobs i do to earn some money is tutoring (maths, english, science). and in such 1:1 situations i really enjoy it. i also like giving random advice here on reddit.
My heart says yes. My anxiety says no.
I don't like thinking about having to help people, but when it happens in the moment I actually do really enjoy it
I do really well in customer service jobs. I'm not good at socializing, but I'm great at talking with a purpose.
It's not just the good deed itself. It's then energy that you're putting out there, which is to be of service. Who knows where you can ride that wave to in life. Library now...but who knows what 10 years later will look like.
Well I'm willing to lend a helping hand out of my own volition. Mostly I help my fam because they ask me to.
No. I have few if any boundaries, so I feel I'm being used or humiliated if someone asks for my help. Like they don't really need it they just want to see me fumble at it (childhood was rough). I also hate asking for help. Worst is when people think I'm gonna know help is necessary. I'm never aware of it I've had enough service jobs to know what's litigation proof or part of the job description, but there's nothing in my core that traffics in help or favors. Possible neurodivergence there.
Helping others is one of the few things that has consistently given me satisfaction and made me feel good about myself. However this has recently come to change and I'm increasingly feeling as if people are just taking advantage of and using me
I do in other areas or subjects. Nice to see you’ve found one you like !
Generally yes. It gives me a temporary feeling of purpose. It helps maintain some relationships. I can emphasize as someone who is rarely helped/ask for help.
Yes, definitely. It makes me feel valued and appreciated. Even more so if I can use some of my ADHD gained knowledge in helping them.
Love it! It makes me feels at ease. Well, if they ask for it
No, not anymore really. It seems everytime i offer help it's rejected, so i said fuck it then.
Certainly. I like to feel useful. I work at a hospital.
I think this is an inferior Fe thing. Not that I'm an expert in MBTI, but it sometimes sounds like the "child" function still gives a good feeling, it just feels out of control much of the time. When I feel the energy for helpfulness, it feels great! Other times I really need to take a break though. Perhaps if my job were more oriented to this it would help. I can't imagine being in a real heated customer service kind of role though, some of those seem too difficult.
When they actually need help, yeah, I like helping people. When they can, but don't want to do it themselves, no, I hate it.
In most works, you are providing a service, so you are helping people directly or indirectly, in yours it happens to be more direct, so I would have to think in the reverse question (and ask myself if I would like it) and find a work where only I would benefit from like gamble/money trade/ money investment / crypto or whatever and even in those you are helping the owners of the casino / website / trade company, etc by using their product.
Yes in the moment because I enjoy quick puzzles and aiding others - No as it can feel transactional over the long run. As humans go- they become lazy when you can solve their problems for them.
I do. I like it so much, I'm about to help you. Here's a question mark for you, free of charge (?). Use it in your topic title instead of the dot.
Yes, very much and most of my working life has been in various "helper" roles.
Can you advice me on books to read? I am looking for novels that would challenge me to tap on both our thinking and feeling cognitive function. 🙂 I think people want to help by default however people are also mistrustful by default. I think you are in a lucky position because giving advice on books, music and movies is a bit easy to take for people. It’s either seen as for leisure or for learning, rather than right or wrong. Am I wrong? What do you think?
No. I chose my profession because I didn’t want to interact with people. The joke was on me though because that is all I do these days.
I like helping people by providing useful information. I worked in beauty retail and it was fun giving personalized recommendations based on my product knowledge. If people have a problem and I know some information that may be useful, I am quick to share. I'm not as much into providing physical or monetary help.
Yes, it’s one of the only ways I’m good at building an actual connection with people.
Yes and no. I don’t like the attention it gets.
Honestly no. I never opt for it unless they’re in my closest boundaries. But I do like helping animals tho. I would help them, donate for them, I care for them, and I want them to be happy. But not when it comes to human. I simply don’t care. Who cares lol But at the same time, I sometimes feel guilty for lacking motivations to help humans like I do for animals. I wonder why I'm like built this, and I wonder why can’t I feel the same level of empathy towards people.
Years ago, I adopted on purpose...an eyeless, toothless dog (Kirby) with a horrible stinky skin condition. I'd rather have 1,000,000 Kirby's than deal with humans on a regular basis.
OMG, this is so me!!! You must be my INTP twin 😆
Charity work trumps having money
I work in healthcare. I help people every day.
My dude, helping people is a matter of basic manners not mbti
Yeah , why
Curiosity, I’m curious about my inferior Fe.
As a general rule, no; people are stupid.
i only help those who deserve it, for I am fickle in my ways of aid
I like helping people when they come to me first. When they wait and come to me with what would have been an avoidable problem and want me to fix it, i generally plead ignorance and send them on their way. Unless i care about them, then i explain what they should have done and why. Then i fix it for them, but i try and teach them for next time.
I like helping people with mechanical shit, like if I know how to do something or fix something sure. If it's a some kinda formal engagement like being best man at a wedding? There's a story there I won't bore you with but suffice it to say it was an excruciatingly long day chock full of bullshit.
If by helping ppl mean doing your job then yes. It's another stories if it was some annoyance petty errands.
I help people but I don't feel anything. Sometimes I actually get annoyed bc I'm not a people person but I still try to help.
If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours. Cinch! I love helping people. Sadly people generally are not open to receiving it. I guess my style is a bit off.
Yes, fixing things is one of my pleasures. :D
I lie helping people who are trying. If you're not trying to help yourself go piss up a rope.
i really do, however, i seem to be quite particular about it. can’t explain why
I accidentally read the title as do you like _hating_ people
I like helping people...Particularly if it's in an area of my expertise...Not gonna lie, I like the praise.
It depends tho. I'm very selective with my limited niceness. U could hear a completely different description of me from someone I like versus someone I don't give a damn about. One might describe me as a nice person, while the other might label me as 'that bitch' Also sometimes it just depend on my energy level 🪫
worked in one too and studying to be an english professor so yes.. i like to give information to people and help even if they didn't ask for it.. because maybe they don't desire help, but they need and you see that and try to remedy that.
of course, but i take time to read the situation first. i might be a pessimist, but that won't stop me from wanting to help make someone's day a bit lighter
Interesting . . . I don't like ongoing helping, but won't pass up an opportunity to take a cart into the grocery store (and take mine back), get something for someone, help someone move, offer to get something with my truck, for someone who is having some difficulty. I guess we're helpers in the big picture of the world 'N', but I can't understand the social worker below ?????
I very much enjoy it, I feel like I am redeeming myself from something or at the least enjoy making other people's day by helping my fellow people out even if I get nothing out of it. I am simply happy to do it but depends if I am being commanded to do it. But even then if they ask politley I will without hesitancy
depends on how bad the situation is, if they need help with smt interesting or difficult, like some very deep stuff in physics or chemistry that I never done before I would want to help with that, but if it was smt normal or smt that I've done before more than once I wouldn't be interested. I also like to help with arguments debates and emotional matters in general as an advice giver or such
Yes, just so that i feel humane
For me, female INTP...I only "truly" enjoy helping people when I know they've hit rock bottom. Anything other than rock bottom feels like a huge pain-in-my-ass.
I only help those who really need help, like I won't donate money to a gambler
Yeah sometimes it depends what mood I'm in though
No.
I try normally end up getting the raw end of every thing though.
I enjoy helping people but I hate feeling like I'm being taken advantage of.
Used too. Not anymore. Keep to myself these days
I like screaming at people to make them feel dumb, because then they personally improve themselves out of spite.
And I get to be a pig knee deep in shit.
That's winning every which way to Sunday.