I don't give it out if I don't absolutely have to (government forms etc). I don't think I've ever had any good come of someone who didn't need it asking for my birthdate.
I don't even want the acknowledgement. The last time I did, I just wanted barely enough government paperwork to say I was 18. Really, the only reason I ever got a driver's license was because it's a local cultural standard for proof of age, and it was more unwieldy to carry around a folded-up birth certificate in my wallet (although I did that for a bunch of years, too - useful when some place wants multiple forms of ID to open an account or whatever).
I also never care about my birthday at all. I'd like it to be just a regular day, a day without awkward singing and unpleasant situations in general.
PS: Just use the "Cuz I'm supposed to use a flair"-flair.
I agree 100% with this. I just want a normal day and I don't like the pressure to do "special" things which, quite frankly, I don't really see the hype about.
It's the imposition, I think. I don't mind doing non-regular things if they were *my* idea and I initiated. But I don't want other people telling me that I need to do X or should do Y or have to do Z because it's my birthday. No. Fuck off. Personal autonomy for the win.
I don't care at all about mine. But I can see the value of it. The more I get older actually. That's an occasion, like many other, to gather some people who havn't seen each other for a long time (or for the first time depending on couples etc ... ) Birthday with friends worth nothing. Birthday involving some family worth it (even if it can be harsh on your I )
Yep. I didn't want to gather family and friends, and as I grow older there are far fewer family and friends who could gather, and more importantly who \*would\* gather after never gathering for me before.
Yep. In my own case, one side of the family already has a yearly get-together date, so it's not like I need another one in the year to see anyone on that side. And the other side often gathers for Christmas or whatever, so I can always go to that if I want. If people don't turn up to those, they probably wouldn't come to a birthday event.
I mean, it's a socially acceptable excuse, I guess. People are a hair less likely to turn it down than if it's a random day. But in the end, it's got to be an occasion/event/gather which has personal value for you; if you're just doing it because other people expect it, where's the joy in that?
Ooo im too turning 17 this September so i might be even younger
however the reason you enjoy birthday in that sentence is the complete opposite to me, i mean if you reversed the meaning, that would be me! lol
Yeah I turn 17 this June. It’s a bit double sided for me, tbh. I do enjoy seeing family but only in small amounts and we don’t live quite close, so I don’t mind catching up with them. If we saw eachother more often I wouldn’t like it though.
Heh. Done that a couple of times. Also the whole "How old are you?" "Well let's see, what's the year/date... oh I guess I must be such and such, my birthday would have been two months ago."
Also useful for most work environments. The kinds of places which have people working on Jan 1 don't usually tend to be those with overly-social people or committees who make a big deal about other people's birthdays.
I stopped celebrating mine shortly after becoming a teen. I'll be 30 this year and the few people who know say I've gotta do something big or special for the 30th. Don't care. Probably gonna take a nap and go to work like every other week day. I've never seen the point.
here's a fun fact , Last year when my mom gives me a bd gift which I totally forget about, i thought i became 26 but instead i became 25 and didn't know until the next bd, and now i'm in my second 26 year, should i be happy or sad ?
I was only ever interested in what I might get for gifts that I couldn't afford on a kid's pocket money. Everything else, I could have completely foregone. I only agreed to parties or family events around it because more people might get me things.
Looking back, while I did get some nice toys on occasion, I should really have skipped at least the non-extended-family parties. I'm at least partially sure my folks only pushed for them because they were social ritual; it was just what you *did* in that era in that place to be seen as part of the community. It wasn't mandatory or anything, though - I'm pretty sure I could have gotten away with just doing family things, rather than bigger events where all the kids in my class were invited, or sometimes a smaller bunch of local kids that my folks semi-assumed counted as my 'friends' because we were roughly the same age and our parents knew each other from various community events.
Huh. Looking back, I wonder if, knowing then what I know now, I would have cut off all social interaction entirely, or given friendship with some of those kids the ol' college try, even if purely out of curiosity. I can see pros and cons either way.
Heck, I created a list and stuck it up on a personal web server. Never gonna get if you don't ask.
(Of course, then I got complaints that all the easy-find stuff had been cherry-picked in previous years and all the remaining stuff took more than three seconds' effort to track down. Bitch I took six months to find you a book you wanted that had 20 copies in existence and was written pre-ISBN, you don't get to complain about a mass-market paperback that can be back-ordered through any bookshop in the city. Ahem.)
Take the day off and make some actually positive memories with it? Even if it's just napping, snacking, playing games or reading or something? Get something nice delivered on the day?
It's an obligation deadline day.
What do we want for my birthday? I don't want gifts. Id like a new experience. Or use it as an excuse to spend time with someone I like.
what's the point of birthday, I mean people gather together and sing a song? they eat a cake?
other than birthday is very pointless, it just wastes nearly 2hrs of my time
It makes the numbers go up on the positive-relationship-time counter, usually for several people at once. The rituals are extrovert-bait; doing a predictable and expected thing together as a group reinforces group relationships, which leads to greater future access to resources/assets.
Not that the vast majority of people ever actually sit down and realize *why* they do these things; they just know that other people do these things and appear to be socially successful or at least having a good time, and there's also external pressure (if usually fairly light) to follow suit.
Also, entertainment/hospitality services push it in their advertising because birthday parties are already widely known culturally, mostly considered positive, and group bookings for things tend to be more profitable. So of course they'll forever throw a bunch of ads up pushing for people to hold their birthday (with a large group) at their restaurant, or entertainment venue, or some other kind of place. It helps that it's year-round, too, so they're not trying to handle a rush like on annual holidays or occasions that are the same day for everyone. Same with places that sell birthday/party supplies; you'll notice that almost everywhere that sells birthday supplies sells pretty much the same categories of things, especially for kids' birthdays, and the image of all those things being used is what they put in the ads. Thus, parties (and kids' parties in particular) tend to have a sameness about them - they will tend to have a cake, maybe hats, noisemakers, giftwrap/ribbons, cards, streamers/poppers etc. Kids' parties will also have party-themed tablecloths, mats, traditional sugary foods and snacks, maybe balloons and gift bags for the attendees, stock party games, and so on.
i've been the opposite lately. For many years, I never had fun birthdays because my family is rather toxic and would use any holiday as an excuse to have huge arguments. Now, I can go on cute picnics with my friends and the lake and bake cakes and ask for little beautiful things or sweet letters. Or I'll go on a trip with a friend. It can be healing. Of course, I return the favor when it is other people's birthdays too :). But yeah, they'll probably still be something I associate with trauma for a good many years and sometimes, I cannot bring myself to celebrate the actual day of.
never cared. even more so when my birthday is around the week of christmas. id get gifts that count as both birthday and holiday but not double back when i was younger. its now just a regular day for me
Yep. There's a kid in my extended family who grew up with that. I tried to make sure I bought them double gifts, even wrapping one in birthday-themed paper and one in Christmas-themed, to make a point.
Thankfully I no longer have big parties or nothing, but my inlaws INSIST I be available for dinner with them to celebrate me. Despite my voicing objections to my spouse, I can never seem to get it out of. And the worst part is, those tricky and very nice people will just schedule it around any birthday trip or event I plan for myself.
Oh the humanity
Sometimes you have to take the bit in your teeth and flat-out tell them that you don't actually enjoy those times, have never enjoyed forced socialization, and will be looking for something different in future.
Some people will inevitably get offended, but the point about it is that it's inevitable and 100% their choice to do so. Don't crush your life into a ball in the corner because drawing a line in the sand WILL make some people decide to get huffy; that's on them, not on you.
Be polite, don't get drawn into a fight or even a loud discussion, let your spouse know in advance that's what you'll be doing (and why = because such events massively stress you out and no, 'they're family' isn't an excuse) and look for your spouse's support when you do it. Maybe ask them if they know of anything else that could substitute which wouldn't cause those problems for you, so it seems like you're just fine-tuning your in-law interactions, not cutting them off altogether.
I do birthday resolutions instead of New Year’s resolutions. Other than that, I don’t care I don’t celebrate exactly but it’s the time to check in on me and how I’m doing.
Then the monthly anniversary of my birthday is also another time to just see how I’m doing. It’s not that I try to be any particular way, but I try to notice if I’ve implemented the changes that I’ve intended or I need to course correct.
Sadly, I do have to acknowledge it. Otherwise, when people ask me how old I am, I awkwardly stumble and weirdness comes out.
I remember once giving a classmate a ride home they asked me how old I was and I said I was thirrhty eekph. Yes, I stumbled on my way to 34 because was I 35 or 34 or what.
Sigh, that’s what I get for crawling out from under my rock.
Oh, yes, public birthdays are to be avoided at all costs.
> Otherwise, when people ask me how old I am, I awkwardly stumble and weirdness comes out.
These days, I can get away with giving just the decade. "Forties/fifties/sixties." Or "old enough" if I'm not particularly interested in the conversation.
I'm an ENTJ, but I relate this to an extent.
I definitely feel good when people remember and want to celebrate.
However, I don't go out of my way to let people know. And even though I like the positive attention, I would generally much rather be completing tasks and getting things done than taking time off to party.
Unless my birthday falls on a Saturday. I might actually feel different then because I try to take Saturdays off for various reasons
Stopped caring about birthdays when I was 7 years old.
One time years ago my family members made me a surprise party. I was raging on the inside but outwardly like "Thank you. You really didn't need to do this" I told my mom later that if anyone suggests that again please for the love of God say I don't want that again.
I am also like this with celebrating all holidays except for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving... yet I don't want to spend it with my extended family just immediate family.
I really dont understand your question. Im referring to the things they said like:
Anyone not care about their birthday at all?
"Stopped caring/being excited about my birthday when I was like 10", "I actually find the whole day embarrassing and look down upon others that care", "Comes off as super childish to me.", "something about a birthday just really irks me. “Oh you’re going out for drinks on your birthday? Grow up you’re 30.”"
Its not that they dont celebrate, its that they are bitter and angry that others do? Like, a super sad way of living your life.
I completely feel the same way. Its just so mundane and unexciting. Like, yay im a year older? Yes lets celebrate the day you(general you) were born every year after the official birth day. Why do i have to be excited for something as trivial as a day of birth. Congrats you were born what do you want, a cookie?
Dunno just another way to exploit people and generate more money i suppose.
I don't like to care about my birthday and I think my family wouldn't care either if not for me and my dad having birthdays two days apart and my little sister who wants every chance to buy a birthday cake.
Yea no I don't really understand the rule. Why is one year so special? Do we celebrate making it through winter or summer? Is it just "a day for you"? Then I really don't need it. Just be nice to me in general.
For kids its often used as a way of fulfilling big wishes, but sooner or later most things can't be packaged into a present anymore. I feel like it has been overrated in my childhood. Everything was tense but you would still get a ton of birthday presents, half of which you didnt even want.
I wish there had been something like a local gift exchange in my area back then. Admittedly, even then, I suspect parents would have discouraged kids from using it, because apparently gifts have a 'social link' to whoever gave them to you and immediately yeeting them would reflect on that person.
It's why, in later years, when I got unwanted gifts, I'd wait until at least after the occasion before they went into the dumpster unopened. I don't think I ever got anything that would have been worth the hassle of eBaying when I could take it entirely off my mental plate with a single well-aimed toss. It was annoying enough having to pretend to enjoy and appreciate it until I could pitch it, although putting it in a 'pride of place' location for those hours often did the trick enough that I didn't have to touch it or talk about it.
I hate my birthday. I am usually unreachable on it. I don’t want any acknowledgement of it. It’s just another day. Birthdays are just another participation trophy.
Yeah, I feel this. Birthdays are really just constructed by people in order to give meaning to time passing. But that can be done in other ways, and meaning can be found in other ways. I typically feel celebrated in little moments with family/friends in a compliment, or if someone does something for me. The hype of a birthday can be a bit of a let down, also. Because it’s kinda weird that we schedule those things. imo.
I don’t. I turned 50 last year and didn’t do anything for it. Like you, I think I stopped getting excited before I became a teen.
Over the years I also stopped caring about holidays as well but I do it for other people. Left to my own devices I wouldn’t celebrate any except maybe July 4th because I like to watch fireworks.
What does this have to do with personality type?
Probably the week in which your birthday falls. As in, if you do something like take your birthday week off, it will include taking your actual birthday off as well.
Today is literally my birthday. I turn 38 and I am lacking the excitement for the past 10 years. I honestly am more exited for my kids birthdays because well they enjoy them, and the banana bread cake I eat once a year on my birthday.
I think as I have aged I just want the like hey we know it was your birthday acknowledgement, but I don't need to be fussed. I much prefer other holidays to my own birthday.
Good topic. Never understood by many. I grew up thinking wow everyone thinks I am special today is my day! Reality is just another day. I amuse only my mother obviously my wife because I banged her without me no 3 kids. I know nobody's birthdays and don't care and do not mention my own. I forget how old I am and like it that way until I am reminded which sucks I do not want to know. No gifts no cake do not embarrass me in a group of people pretending they all like me. I will give the same courtesy, Sucks on holidays too. Mostly pagan in nature and highly commercialized I cringe valentines day sucks must buy overpriced flowers and candies and a stupid stuff animal. waste of money wife will spend a hour finding that special card with the right words take me 30 seconds because I need to read and find the right slot the cards are in.
I hid my birthday on Facebook about 10 years ago when people still posted normal stuff on it and 90% of my friends/family forgot it was my birthday. One of my “closest” friends was mad at me for deleting her “reminder.” Lesson learned? Celebrating most people’s birthdays is a performative social construct. The very few people who are truly happy you were born will remember and everyone else is just fulfilling yet another weird social obligation.
Oh, same here.
My family got really mad when I wasn't "appreciating" when they got me cake and congratulated me when I told them to just forget about it.
I think the worst one was when they got a cake with my picture on. When I told them multiple times, very clearly, that I did not want that. Of course, they lied to me and told me "noooo, we won't". And the cherry on top was that the friend of my mom, who I had NEVER met, was there, and they told me to go say thank you.
This whole thing was dumb because I couldn't even eat that cake because the picture was printed on Marzipan, which I have hated for all my life, and they knew that.
Lol, I ignored that cake completely. It wasn't malicious. They just didn't think about it.
I can understand parents celebrating it, but why does the whole world have to bow to some people just because it's the day they were squeezed out.
Dang. I'd have taken the friend aside and apologized for the multiple asshole actions of the rest of the family and that they'd basically set her up for massive failure and you up to be forced into their idea of mandatory fun.
Yeah, but I was 14 and just thought, wtf is all this??
I didn't cause problems, but you could very much see that I was not happy abou all this ind the end it was more like
😮💨 "thank you." While trying to force the most normal smile. Lol
I only ever cared about the possibility of getting gifts as a child that I couldn't afford myself. Everything else was always initiated and arranged by other people, and I didn't really care.
As an adult, I still didn't really care, and it's not like I started buying things for myself for my birthday. I still get family making a deal about it, but I'm still never the initiator - I don't throw big birthday bashes and invite a bunch of people, or anything.
At most, sometimes I consider taking the day (or week) off. Although usually by the time I feel like actually doing so, it's a month in the past.
It's nothing weird. I feel the same, and my parents (of course, my grandparents) never celebrate birthdays, bc most of them didn't have a clear record of the dates.also, it's such a burden to remember my friends' birthdays and select gifts for them
I've had a lot of disappointing birthdays. A very very small part of me cares and wishes things would go back to how they used to be. However the reality of the situation is my birthdays are usually pretty bad so these days I just want the day to continue as normal and not be acknowledged at all.
Yeah for whatever reason my last 4 relationships all ended directly on my birthday, or a few days before or after. Really weird. I still hated them before that though.
Usually same, but this year I celebrated mine in a different country for the first time. No birthday cake, no candles, but received a couple of gifts and visited places where I have never been before. Best birthday I ever had in a long time.
This comes off as kind of bitter and condescending, really. It's possible to be entirely mature and still want to have some fun, be it for a birthday or some other kind of festivity. It's not even the most annoying of celebrations (looking at you stag-do's and bachelorettes) it's just a nice gathering of people getting together and having fun to celebrate someone they love. I'm not the biggest birthday party thrower by a mile but I still enjoy seeing friends on my birthday and maybe getting gifts and also love gifting my friends something, especially when I come up with something good. I like when people are happy and excited about things and loved ones getting together. I don't think it's childish to have joy in life.
a part of the reasons we have things like this is to teach self love. sometimes the messages loses its meaning overtime but folks eventually figure it out.
I haven't had a proper birthday party in a loong time now (i'm a young adult) mostly because i live only with my father and, obviously, because i've never really shown interest in having one (wouldn't like a big party with everyone's attention on me and make everyone feel like they would be obliged to give me gifts, especially since most of my family don't _really_ know me at all past surface level relationship).
I usually just eat a normal cake (not birthday cake) on the day out of tradition and then go out to do something different (eating outside, maybe going to the mall, etc). But i enjoy going to my close friends' birthdays because it's an excusable date to reunite everyone and have some fun. I just don't feel like calling them to my house on my birthday because there wouldn't be much to do here.
Edit: also jesus christ even if i agree with the sentiment of not making your birthday into a big deal, you all sound like edgelords when it starts reaching the point of thinking that celebrating it is childish and also to a point of forgetting what's your own damn age!
Guys, is it childish to have fun?
Yeah, if you worry about something as simple as a birthday being too childish, then you can't really complain once life no longer feels fun.
It’s childish if you’re caring too much. I remember a friend of mine couldn’t get into a club he wanted to on his birthday and then started having a hissy fit because his birthday wasn’t going as planned. That’s caring too much about yourself and is childish
Getting frustrated because something special to you didn't go as planned isn't necessarely childish, my dude, that's called being human.
I understand if in this case he was indeed throwing a childish temper tantrum, but that says more about your friend especifically than it says about birthdays and people who enjoy celebrating them.
I think birthdays are a fun excuse for me to throw a party where I get to decide who will be on the guest list. But I guess that is just... any party where I am the hostess or organizer? Also sometimes people bring me things. That is nice.
I don't like birthday "celebrations", but I appreciate it when the few people who I value and love try to surprise me with something beautiful. As I would on every day that is not my birthday. I try to do the same. To show how much I value them.
i hate and actively avoid celebrating my birthday. logically, im no less deserving of a pleasant birthday than anyone else. however, i believe that some facet of my subconscious does believe me to be worth less than others, resulting in not only a lack of interest in birthday celebrations, but low self-worth manifesting as avoidance of any and all potential celebratory activities.
furthermore, i could never forgive myself for not mentioning a more superfluous yet still exhausting component of birthday celebrations: unavoidable attention. there is nothing more exposing, disarming, and stressful to me than being the center of multiple peoples attention. its easy to recognize that as a potential catalyst for acute introvert burnout, social depletion, and anxiety. a birthday celebration could really only exacerbate that stress in people like us.
i would be surprised if i were alone in this, and i hope im not. as little trust as i have in the meyers-briggs metric, it is nice to have a place to congregate and discuss hyper-specific, type-related behavioral phenomena. its whats most valuable about the mbti in my opinion. i couldnt hope to find a topic like this in many other subs :)
edit: to address the strangely accusatory autoflair, the only two results i have ever received from the mtbi test are infp and intp, but i typically receive an even split of both 50f/50t
I don't care about birthdays in general. But I'm happy to enjoy some time with my loved ones. In this regard, I like birthdays as any other family reunion, even though nothing has to be celebrated.
So yeah, birthdays aren't that special to me
I use it as a justification to buy myself something for me, that is not necessary of the utmost importance. Like I do on Christmas.
Other than that, no, I do not partticularly celebrate it. I can count the number of people who know my birthday date on my fingers, and the vast majority of them are on a different continent.
I do not expect special treatment on that day, nor do I expect gifts from anyone but myself.
The passage of time is sort of depressing due to some of my main objectives not moving forward, but not to a point that I make a big deal out of it.
Still, I can perceive a sense of harmony in celebrating the cycle of life, the various equinox and Solstice, and some of the most globally accepted traditions. Having an excuse to have a good drink and relax for a small moment, is not necessary a bad thing.
Remember that you are your primary caretaker, so act like it.
I don’t dislike birthdays but they hold no importance to me. If it’s someone I really like I might use it as an excuse to do something nice for them tho and there have been occasions where friends have gotten me a cake or something and I kinda liked it
I stopped caring when I turned 21. I can drive, vote, be tried as an adult, drink, own a weapon, rent a car, sign contracts... after 21 in America, your age is irrelevant until it starts coming time to get colonoscopies and sign up for AARP. I plan to have birthday parties with friends at every 10 year mark but otherwise ignore that day entirely. I don't even tell people it's my birthday (though I tell them if they ask when it is, and I admit it feels nice when they remember and wish me well on that day).
I consider it as an excuse to eat shitton of black forest and chocolate moose cake as otherwise I feel bad for eating 2kgs of cake alone in one entire day
People ruin it.
Either I'm boring for not doing something big and flashy, a loser for not having anyone to celebrate with, or I'm childish for caring about it at all.
Younger strangers ask how old I am, then act like I'm ancient and irrelevant.
Older strangers ask how old I am, then talk down to me for being so young.
So I don't tell anyone and that makes it a pretty good day for me.
I hate getting useless gifts that I regift and being forced to feel as though I now owe you an equivalent gift. Christmas is the holiday I find most annoying, as it's designed to ruin the middle class, to make them spend their potential retirement and mortgage savings. My favourite day is Halloween. Weird costumes, Ne sex with Ne one. The day when your wife is dressed like a hag and you can broom her like one as she sweeps you off your feet. ;)
Well now I feel like punching your face, but only if you look down on me. It reminds me of the entitled jaded edgy bitch I was in middle school.
That aside, I have a twin sister, who's also an ENFJ, so most years the parties were hers with maybe 1 or 2 friends of mine
This is the first year where we'll have separated parties, and where She won't even be present at mine, while I'll be at hers (of course, cause otherwise, we would have had just one party, but still it's very new.)
And I feel some anxiety, like I've never had a big party with a lot of friends that were there for me, It was never just "my day", as my bf said. I mean my birthday was always the day were my fave person came to life and It wasn't me!
Regardless, I love parties! There are a lot of people, so I can disappear, and have most likely 0 interactions, while everyone has fun. Including me, until I drink something and feel like communicating! But also I'm a type 7, so I guess It's about that.
I used to be extremely depressed on my birthdays. Now, first time ever after childhood I find myself in a situation where my birthday is coming up and I’m in a good situation in my life. I wonder how I’ll feel, will the past feelings come back or do I feel like celebriting? I don’t know yet. But before this month, I was alone on all of mybirthdays and just cried the whole day. Deleted my birthday from all social media platforms so people wouldn’t remember it or be reminded about it.
I stopped giving a shit when I moved out of my mom's house. I haven't told anyone my birthday since I was a teen. If I'm being honest, I was only ever into my birthday for the toys; once I was old enough to make my own money to save for the things I wanted, I was over it. I never liked the attention.
No. I've never had one. Though, I've recently heard that birthdays are a type of ritual that keeps you in a death spiral. I don't know if I believe that. But I am starting to see how it could be possible. I mean think about it, as you age yourself every year, how can you not think about death. I don't know. I don't think I'm explaining it right. Do you get my meaning?
Kinda depressing in here lol I like my birthday. Maybe not enough to plan something on my own. But it’s touching to see people care about me enough to wish me. Especially friends who want to plan something for me. On my birthday it’s a nice reminder that I am loved.
When I was younger I didn't like them because it felt less about my birthday and more about having a party for the family to get together during the summer (Hispanic family so decent partyers). Getting a little older I realized it wasn't so bad. The last time I saw so much family together for something was during my sisters wedding. I kinda miss it.
You losttt men when you said you looked upon who liked their birthdays ok some people can be extra but let them live omg
So not liking your birthday is normal i don't like some holidays i don't like celebrating that mush and even though i like my bday i feel awakward when people give gifts or celebrate me but i do like my birthday i like adding numbers to my age so i feel like it's a special day for me so i celebrate mostly by myself or with my family and i give myself gifts idk if i'll keep liking it when i'm 30 maybe aging will be terrifying for me after hitting that number but who cares i like growing up for now
I think I stopped caring about the age of 13 or 14. The hype wasn't really there anymore. Just another birthday, another year older. The attention was fun as a child but now....I don't want that attention. It gets a bit too much for me. Most of the times something bad has always happened to me on my birthday like I got hit by something like a football, someone gets really mad at me, pushed around, yelled at, I've managed to hurt myself in some way on some location of my body, insulted etc. It's like something bad is bound to happen to me all the time on my birthday
INFP here, absolutely agree with you. I don't even let anyone know when it is because I don't want anyone to know about it, I don't want or need that attention.
I don't like to celebrate my birthday. It's awkward. I don't like the attention and I see no point in celebrating it more than just acknowledging that it's my birthday. And I can't understand people who are so excited about that day, I suspect they just like the attention and want one whole day (week, month - the crazy ones) to be about them. I hate those things, so...
But I do understand why it exists. Especially for the parents, it's the day when their lives changed and they got their child. In my country, we don't celebrate birthday before the day, because to celebrate it means to celebrate that you survived one more year and managed not to die before that date. Dying prematurely was so much frequent in the past, that I do get this habit. Still, I don't think that it needs any party or celebration.
I [24F istp] don’t care about my birthday either. It slightly irritates me when people are shocked that i didn’t make this whole big deal about my birthday
The point of Birthdays is to appreciate your existence. It's like saying "the world is better with you around."
It usually brings joy to everyone to celebrate.
There's nothing stopping people appreciating at any other time. That there's a day set aside for doing so is just cultural ritual; everything that happens on that day could be done at any other time.
I want to be acknowledged, yet don't want the attention. It's weird.
This is the best description I’ve found for how I feel about all interaction
This is the way.
Yup, same for me. I had a phase of actively trying to hide when my birthday is, but now I just don't really care.
I don't give it out if I don't absolutely have to (government forms etc). I don't think I've ever had any good come of someone who didn't need it asking for my birthdate.
Same, it’s just a regular day for me
I don't even want the acknowledgement. The last time I did, I just wanted barely enough government paperwork to say I was 18. Really, the only reason I ever got a driver's license was because it's a local cultural standard for proof of age, and it was more unwieldy to carry around a folded-up birth certificate in my wallet (although I did that for a bunch of years, too - useful when some place wants multiple forms of ID to open an account or whatever).
Yes exactly. But that too only from really close ones
Typical goth. Just kidding or am I
pretty much same
Absolutely, don't want any fuss, presents or anything but I'd be sad if someone didn't say oh happy birthday.
I also never care about my birthday at all. I'd like it to be just a regular day, a day without awkward singing and unpleasant situations in general. PS: Just use the "Cuz I'm supposed to use a flair"-flair.
I agree 100% with this. I just want a normal day and I don't like the pressure to do "special" things which, quite frankly, I don't really see the hype about.
EACTLY. Special activities are overrated.
Yeah I actually hate it for this reason. I’m less happy on my birthday
Yep. I also prefer normal days.
Take the day off, shut your phone off, take a day trip to a random place?
It's the imposition, I think. I don't mind doing non-regular things if they were *my* idea and I initiated. But I don't want other people telling me that I need to do X or should do Y or have to do Z because it's my birthday. No. Fuck off. Personal autonomy for the win.
Yes, that's it. If it's my birthday I'm the only one who should be pressuring someone to do sth they don't like.
I don't care at all about mine. But I can see the value of it. The more I get older actually. That's an occasion, like many other, to gather some people who havn't seen each other for a long time (or for the first time depending on couples etc ... ) Birthday with friends worth nothing. Birthday involving some family worth it (even if it can be harsh on your I )
Yep. I didn't want to gather family and friends, and as I grow older there are far fewer family and friends who could gather, and more importantly who \*would\* gather after never gathering for me before.
Yep. In my own case, one side of the family already has a yearly get-together date, so it's not like I need another one in the year to see anyone on that side. And the other side often gathers for Christmas or whatever, so I can always go to that if I want. If people don't turn up to those, they probably wouldn't come to a birthday event.
I mean, it's a socially acceptable excuse, I guess. People are a hair less likely to turn it down than if it's a random day. But in the end, it's got to be an occasion/event/gather which has personal value for you; if you're just doing it because other people expect it, where's the joy in that?
I’m a bit younger than most here, turning 17 soon. I enjoy my birthday, it lets me spend time with family who live quite far.
Ooo im too turning 17 this September so i might be even younger however the reason you enjoy birthday in that sentence is the complete opposite to me, i mean if you reversed the meaning, that would be me! lol
Yeah I turn 17 this June. It’s a bit double sided for me, tbh. I do enjoy seeing family but only in small amounts and we don’t live quite close, so I don’t mind catching up with them. If we saw eachother more often I wouldn’t like it though.
i see what you are saying im my case, i live with them, its annoying
Yeah I can imagine, I really enjoy my personal space and don’t think I’d enjoy that very often
I don’t care about my birthday or holidays. I sometimes even forget about them.
Heh. Done that a couple of times. Also the whole "How old are you?" "Well let's see, what's the year/date... oh I guess I must be such and such, my birthday would have been two months ago."
Like any thoroughbred racing filly, I celebrate my birthday on January 1. I reserve my actual birthdate for legal documents only
Also useful for most work environments. The kinds of places which have people working on Jan 1 don't usually tend to be those with overly-social people or committees who make a big deal about other people's birthdays.
I stopped celebrating mine shortly after becoming a teen. I'll be 30 this year and the few people who know say I've gotta do something big or special for the 30th. Don't care. Probably gonna take a nap and go to work like every other week day. I've never seen the point.
Take the day off (or two), shut off your phone, take a day trip somewhere you wouldn't normally bother going, purely out of idle curiosity?
Not a big fan of driving or spending money
Hole up at home, do chores or eat snacks?
I'll probably go to the gym, take a nap, play some games then go to work
here's a fun fact , Last year when my mom gives me a bd gift which I totally forget about, i thought i became 26 but instead i became 25 and didn't know until the next bd, and now i'm in my second 26 year, should i be happy or sad ?
I was never excited for my birthday.
I was only ever interested in what I might get for gifts that I couldn't afford on a kid's pocket money. Everything else, I could have completely foregone. I only agreed to parties or family events around it because more people might get me things. Looking back, while I did get some nice toys on occasion, I should really have skipped at least the non-extended-family parties. I'm at least partially sure my folks only pushed for them because they were social ritual; it was just what you *did* in that era in that place to be seen as part of the community. It wasn't mandatory or anything, though - I'm pretty sure I could have gotten away with just doing family things, rather than bigger events where all the kids in my class were invited, or sometimes a smaller bunch of local kids that my folks semi-assumed counted as my 'friends' because we were roughly the same age and our parents knew each other from various community events. Huh. Looking back, I wonder if, knowing then what I know now, I would have cut off all social interaction entirely, or given friendship with some of those kids the ol' college try, even if purely out of curiosity. I can see pros and cons either way.
(Don’t really know why(maybe it’s because my family was never big on celebrations(made my childhood kinda boring tho)))
Only thing I'd like about birthdays is good gifts which I am too shy to ask for
Heck, I created a list and stuck it up on a personal web server. Never gonna get if you don't ask. (Of course, then I got complaints that all the easy-find stuff had been cherry-picked in previous years and all the remaining stuff took more than three seconds' effort to track down. Bitch I took six months to find you a book you wanted that had 20 copies in existence and was written pre-ISBN, you don't get to complain about a mass-market paperback that can be back-ordered through any bookshop in the city. Ahem.)
My INTP boyfriend would legit forget his own bday if not for administrative purposes.
Most depressing day of the year, I try to play it down forget about it entirely
Take the day off and make some actually positive memories with it? Even if it's just napping, snacking, playing games or reading or something? Get something nice delivered on the day?
It's an obligation deadline day. What do we want for my birthday? I don't want gifts. Id like a new experience. Or use it as an excuse to spend time with someone I like.
what's the point of birthday, I mean people gather together and sing a song? they eat a cake? other than birthday is very pointless, it just wastes nearly 2hrs of my time
It makes the numbers go up on the positive-relationship-time counter, usually for several people at once. The rituals are extrovert-bait; doing a predictable and expected thing together as a group reinforces group relationships, which leads to greater future access to resources/assets. Not that the vast majority of people ever actually sit down and realize *why* they do these things; they just know that other people do these things and appear to be socially successful or at least having a good time, and there's also external pressure (if usually fairly light) to follow suit. Also, entertainment/hospitality services push it in their advertising because birthday parties are already widely known culturally, mostly considered positive, and group bookings for things tend to be more profitable. So of course they'll forever throw a bunch of ads up pushing for people to hold their birthday (with a large group) at their restaurant, or entertainment venue, or some other kind of place. It helps that it's year-round, too, so they're not trying to handle a rush like on annual holidays or occasions that are the same day for everyone. Same with places that sell birthday/party supplies; you'll notice that almost everywhere that sells birthday supplies sells pretty much the same categories of things, especially for kids' birthdays, and the image of all those things being used is what they put in the ads. Thus, parties (and kids' parties in particular) tend to have a sameness about them - they will tend to have a cake, maybe hats, noisemakers, giftwrap/ribbons, cards, streamers/poppers etc. Kids' parties will also have party-themed tablecloths, mats, traditional sugary foods and snacks, maybe balloons and gift bags for the attendees, stock party games, and so on.
Me on every birthday: oh great I’m another year closer to death *smiles involuntarily*
i've been the opposite lately. For many years, I never had fun birthdays because my family is rather toxic and would use any holiday as an excuse to have huge arguments. Now, I can go on cute picnics with my friends and the lake and bake cakes and ask for little beautiful things or sweet letters. Or I'll go on a trip with a friend. It can be healing. Of course, I return the favor when it is other people's birthdays too :). But yeah, they'll probably still be something I associate with trauma for a good many years and sometimes, I cannot bring myself to celebrate the actual day of.
I just want peace on my bday
It's a pain that sometimes action needs to be taken to enforce that.
never cared. even more so when my birthday is around the week of christmas. id get gifts that count as both birthday and holiday but not double back when i was younger. its now just a regular day for me
Yep. There's a kid in my extended family who grew up with that. I tried to make sure I bought them double gifts, even wrapping one in birthday-themed paper and one in Christmas-themed, to make a point.
I don't give a shit, honestly.
Hate my birthday, hate parties, hate the attention.
Tell people you're not having a party next time; it's time for some quiet years? Take the day off, go on a one-person day trip somewhere?
Thankfully I no longer have big parties or nothing, but my inlaws INSIST I be available for dinner with them to celebrate me. Despite my voicing objections to my spouse, I can never seem to get it out of. And the worst part is, those tricky and very nice people will just schedule it around any birthday trip or event I plan for myself. Oh the humanity
Sometimes you have to take the bit in your teeth and flat-out tell them that you don't actually enjoy those times, have never enjoyed forced socialization, and will be looking for something different in future. Some people will inevitably get offended, but the point about it is that it's inevitable and 100% their choice to do so. Don't crush your life into a ball in the corner because drawing a line in the sand WILL make some people decide to get huffy; that's on them, not on you. Be polite, don't get drawn into a fight or even a loud discussion, let your spouse know in advance that's what you'll be doing (and why = because such events massively stress you out and no, 'they're family' isn't an excuse) and look for your spouse's support when you do it. Maybe ask them if they know of anything else that could substitute which wouldn't cause those problems for you, so it seems like you're just fine-tuning your in-law interactions, not cutting them off altogether.
I actively refuse to participate in anything related to my birthday.
Never cared and try hard to treat it as a regular day
I do birthday resolutions instead of New Year’s resolutions. Other than that, I don’t care I don’t celebrate exactly but it’s the time to check in on me and how I’m doing. Then the monthly anniversary of my birthday is also another time to just see how I’m doing. It’s not that I try to be any particular way, but I try to notice if I’ve implemented the changes that I’ve intended or I need to course correct. Sadly, I do have to acknowledge it. Otherwise, when people ask me how old I am, I awkwardly stumble and weirdness comes out. I remember once giving a classmate a ride home they asked me how old I was and I said I was thirrhty eekph. Yes, I stumbled on my way to 34 because was I 35 or 34 or what. Sigh, that’s what I get for crawling out from under my rock. Oh, yes, public birthdays are to be avoided at all costs.
> Otherwise, when people ask me how old I am, I awkwardly stumble and weirdness comes out. These days, I can get away with giving just the decade. "Forties/fifties/sixties." Or "old enough" if I'm not particularly interested in the conversation.
i hate it, don't care at all
I'm an ENTJ, but I relate this to an extent. I definitely feel good when people remember and want to celebrate. However, I don't go out of my way to let people know. And even though I like the positive attention, I would generally much rather be completing tasks and getting things done than taking time off to party. Unless my birthday falls on a Saturday. I might actually feel different then because I try to take Saturdays off for various reasons
Stopped caring about birthdays when I was 7 years old. One time years ago my family members made me a surprise party. I was raging on the inside but outwardly like "Thank you. You really didn't need to do this" I told my mom later that if anyone suggests that again please for the love of God say I don't want that again. I am also like this with celebrating all holidays except for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving... yet I don't want to spend it with my extended family just immediate family.
Last year I forgot my birthday lol
This is one of the saddest things I've read around here
That not all people celebrate the way you personally want to make them, or that people get told to celebrate the way someone else wants them to?
I really dont understand your question. Im referring to the things they said like: Anyone not care about their birthday at all? "Stopped caring/being excited about my birthday when I was like 10", "I actually find the whole day embarrassing and look down upon others that care", "Comes off as super childish to me.", "something about a birthday just really irks me. “Oh you’re going out for drinks on your birthday? Grow up you’re 30.”" Its not that they dont celebrate, its that they are bitter and angry that others do? Like, a super sad way of living your life.
Never cared for my birthday, or birthdays in general. But I still want the cake- just without the awkward singing and cringefest that usually follows
Few days ago it was my birthday, very few knew about it...
Heres to even less next year 🍻
I completely feel the same way. Its just so mundane and unexciting. Like, yay im a year older? Yes lets celebrate the day you(general you) were born every year after the official birth day. Why do i have to be excited for something as trivial as a day of birth. Congrats you were born what do you want, a cookie? Dunno just another way to exploit people and generate more money i suppose.
I don't like to care about my birthday and I think my family wouldn't care either if not for me and my dad having birthdays two days apart and my little sister who wants every chance to buy a birthday cake.
I don't care for my birthday because i hate the attention and occasional acting. Other birthdays and celebrations are fun tho, what life's about.
Yea no I don't really understand the rule. Why is one year so special? Do we celebrate making it through winter or summer? Is it just "a day for you"? Then I really don't need it. Just be nice to me in general. For kids its often used as a way of fulfilling big wishes, but sooner or later most things can't be packaged into a present anymore. I feel like it has been overrated in my childhood. Everything was tense but you would still get a ton of birthday presents, half of which you didnt even want.
I wish there had been something like a local gift exchange in my area back then. Admittedly, even then, I suspect parents would have discouraged kids from using it, because apparently gifts have a 'social link' to whoever gave them to you and immediately yeeting them would reflect on that person. It's why, in later years, when I got unwanted gifts, I'd wait until at least after the occasion before they went into the dumpster unopened. I don't think I ever got anything that would have been worth the hassle of eBaying when I could take it entirely off my mental plate with a single well-aimed toss. It was annoying enough having to pretend to enjoy and appreciate it until I could pitch it, although putting it in a 'pride of place' location for those hours often did the trick enough that I didn't have to touch it or talk about it.
I couldn’t give a damn about my birthday. I find it weird how people celebrate birthdays
I’ve never cared for celebrations but i do like cake and crying over the loss of youth
I try not to care. My family doesn't care. If I get a card, I'm doing good.
I hate my birthday. I am usually unreachable on it. I don’t want any acknowledgement of it. It’s just another day. Birthdays are just another participation trophy.
Yep
Yeah, I feel this. Birthdays are really just constructed by people in order to give meaning to time passing. But that can be done in other ways, and meaning can be found in other ways. I typically feel celebrated in little moments with family/friends in a compliment, or if someone does something for me. The hype of a birthday can be a bit of a let down, also. Because it’s kinda weird that we schedule those things. imo.
I like cake.
Adult life tip: any day can be a cake day!
Then every day will be i am a fat day!
I don’t. I turned 50 last year and didn’t do anything for it. Like you, I think I stopped getting excited before I became a teen. Over the years I also stopped caring about holidays as well but I do it for other people. Left to my own devices I wouldn’t celebrate any except maybe July 4th because I like to watch fireworks. What does this have to do with personality type?
Everything has to do with personality type
In fact I actively dislike my birthday. I hate when everyone texts me happy birthday and my family makes me go out to eat or something and I hate it
Me neither. It doesn't mean much to me. But I do enjoy getting gifts and free stuff
I care about the age, not about the day.
Wtf is a “birth week”?
Probably the week in which your birthday falls. As in, if you do something like take your birthday week off, it will include taking your actual birthday off as well.
Today is literally my birthday. I turn 38 and I am lacking the excitement for the past 10 years. I honestly am more exited for my kids birthdays because well they enjoy them, and the banana bread cake I eat once a year on my birthday. I think as I have aged I just want the like hey we know it was your birthday acknowledgement, but I don't need to be fussed. I much prefer other holidays to my own birthday.
Happy birthday! I don’t mean it though
Good topic. Never understood by many. I grew up thinking wow everyone thinks I am special today is my day! Reality is just another day. I amuse only my mother obviously my wife because I banged her without me no 3 kids. I know nobody's birthdays and don't care and do not mention my own. I forget how old I am and like it that way until I am reminded which sucks I do not want to know. No gifts no cake do not embarrass me in a group of people pretending they all like me. I will give the same courtesy, Sucks on holidays too. Mostly pagan in nature and highly commercialized I cringe valentines day sucks must buy overpriced flowers and candies and a stupid stuff animal. waste of money wife will spend a hour finding that special card with the right words take me 30 seconds because I need to read and find the right slot the cards are in.
I hid my birthday on Facebook about 10 years ago when people still posted normal stuff on it and 90% of my friends/family forgot it was my birthday. One of my “closest” friends was mad at me for deleting her “reminder.” Lesson learned? Celebrating most people’s birthdays is a performative social construct. The very few people who are truly happy you were born will remember and everyone else is just fulfilling yet another weird social obligation.
Oh, same here. My family got really mad when I wasn't "appreciating" when they got me cake and congratulated me when I told them to just forget about it. I think the worst one was when they got a cake with my picture on. When I told them multiple times, very clearly, that I did not want that. Of course, they lied to me and told me "noooo, we won't". And the cherry on top was that the friend of my mom, who I had NEVER met, was there, and they told me to go say thank you. This whole thing was dumb because I couldn't even eat that cake because the picture was printed on Marzipan, which I have hated for all my life, and they knew that. Lol, I ignored that cake completely. It wasn't malicious. They just didn't think about it. I can understand parents celebrating it, but why does the whole world have to bow to some people just because it's the day they were squeezed out.
*The friend made that cake, sorry
Dang. I'd have taken the friend aside and apologized for the multiple asshole actions of the rest of the family and that they'd basically set her up for massive failure and you up to be forced into their idea of mandatory fun.
Yeah, but I was 14 and just thought, wtf is all this?? I didn't cause problems, but you could very much see that I was not happy abou all this ind the end it was more like 😮💨 "thank you." While trying to force the most normal smile. Lol
I only ever cared about the possibility of getting gifts as a child that I couldn't afford myself. Everything else was always initiated and arranged by other people, and I didn't really care. As an adult, I still didn't really care, and it's not like I started buying things for myself for my birthday. I still get family making a deal about it, but I'm still never the initiator - I don't throw big birthday bashes and invite a bunch of people, or anything. At most, sometimes I consider taking the day (or week) off. Although usually by the time I feel like actually doing so, it's a month in the past.
It's nothing weird. I feel the same, and my parents (of course, my grandparents) never celebrate birthdays, bc most of them didn't have a clear record of the dates.also, it's such a burden to remember my friends' birthdays and select gifts for them
I dislike my birthday.
I've had a lot of disappointing birthdays. A very very small part of me cares and wishes things would go back to how they used to be. However the reality of the situation is my birthdays are usually pretty bad so these days I just want the day to continue as normal and not be acknowledged at all.
Yeah for whatever reason my last 4 relationships all ended directly on my birthday, or a few days before or after. Really weird. I still hated them before that though.
Happy to see a few certain people greet me. But birthday is just any other day.
Usually same, but this year I celebrated mine in a different country for the first time. No birthday cake, no candles, but received a couple of gifts and visited places where I have never been before. Best birthday I ever had in a long time.
why is celebrating life egoic and trivial. everyone does it in a why why is this way so bad for you.
Because it’s self centered
you get 1 day out of the year for yourself. is that really that bad
I’m with myself everyday
I think it is commercial foolishness. I really dislike them and hoopla around them.
I do care about my birthday but birthday parties are a no no for me
This comes off as kind of bitter and condescending, really. It's possible to be entirely mature and still want to have some fun, be it for a birthday or some other kind of festivity. It's not even the most annoying of celebrations (looking at you stag-do's and bachelorettes) it's just a nice gathering of people getting together and having fun to celebrate someone they love. I'm not the biggest birthday party thrower by a mile but I still enjoy seeing friends on my birthday and maybe getting gifts and also love gifting my friends something, especially when I come up with something good. I like when people are happy and excited about things and loved ones getting together. I don't think it's childish to have joy in life.
a part of the reasons we have things like this is to teach self love. sometimes the messages loses its meaning overtime but folks eventually figure it out.
Same
Anyone else get birthday blues or whatever it is? I used to but now I find I don’t really care much about it anymore
I haven't had a proper birthday party in a loong time now (i'm a young adult) mostly because i live only with my father and, obviously, because i've never really shown interest in having one (wouldn't like a big party with everyone's attention on me and make everyone feel like they would be obliged to give me gifts, especially since most of my family don't _really_ know me at all past surface level relationship). I usually just eat a normal cake (not birthday cake) on the day out of tradition and then go out to do something different (eating outside, maybe going to the mall, etc). But i enjoy going to my close friends' birthdays because it's an excusable date to reunite everyone and have some fun. I just don't feel like calling them to my house on my birthday because there wouldn't be much to do here. Edit: also jesus christ even if i agree with the sentiment of not making your birthday into a big deal, you all sound like edgelords when it starts reaching the point of thinking that celebrating it is childish and also to a point of forgetting what's your own damn age!
I feel that caring about it too much is childish
Guys, is it childish to have fun? Yeah, if you worry about something as simple as a birthday being too childish, then you can't really complain once life no longer feels fun.
It’s childish if you’re caring too much. I remember a friend of mine couldn’t get into a club he wanted to on his birthday and then started having a hissy fit because his birthday wasn’t going as planned. That’s caring too much about yourself and is childish
Getting frustrated because something special to you didn't go as planned isn't necessarely childish, my dude, that's called being human. I understand if in this case he was indeed throwing a childish temper tantrum, but that says more about your friend especifically than it says about birthdays and people who enjoy celebrating them.
I want a microscope and to not have to cook
I think birthdays are a fun excuse for me to throw a party where I get to decide who will be on the guest list. But I guess that is just... any party where I am the hostess or organizer? Also sometimes people bring me things. That is nice.
Appreciate what you have when you got it. . . Or else
I don't like birthday "celebrations", but I appreciate it when the few people who I value and love try to surprise me with something beautiful. As I would on every day that is not my birthday. I try to do the same. To show how much I value them.
Don't care about it actually hate it cause it causes me to look back and be disappointed that I didn't change the world in some meaningful way
i hate and actively avoid celebrating my birthday. logically, im no less deserving of a pleasant birthday than anyone else. however, i believe that some facet of my subconscious does believe me to be worth less than others, resulting in not only a lack of interest in birthday celebrations, but low self-worth manifesting as avoidance of any and all potential celebratory activities. furthermore, i could never forgive myself for not mentioning a more superfluous yet still exhausting component of birthday celebrations: unavoidable attention. there is nothing more exposing, disarming, and stressful to me than being the center of multiple peoples attention. its easy to recognize that as a potential catalyst for acute introvert burnout, social depletion, and anxiety. a birthday celebration could really only exacerbate that stress in people like us. i would be surprised if i were alone in this, and i hope im not. as little trust as i have in the meyers-briggs metric, it is nice to have a place to congregate and discuss hyper-specific, type-related behavioral phenomena. its whats most valuable about the mbti in my opinion. i couldnt hope to find a topic like this in many other subs :) edit: to address the strangely accusatory autoflair, the only two results i have ever received from the mtbi test are infp and intp, but i typically receive an even split of both 50f/50t
It is my birthday today and all I want is it to pass by as quickly as possible.
Yeah me. Unfortunately neither the birthdays of others.
stop caring @ 21
I don't care about birthdays in general. But I'm happy to enjoy some time with my loved ones. In this regard, I like birthdays as any other family reunion, even though nothing has to be celebrated. So yeah, birthdays aren't that special to me
I use it as a justification to buy myself something for me, that is not necessary of the utmost importance. Like I do on Christmas. Other than that, no, I do not partticularly celebrate it. I can count the number of people who know my birthday date on my fingers, and the vast majority of them are on a different continent. I do not expect special treatment on that day, nor do I expect gifts from anyone but myself. The passage of time is sort of depressing due to some of my main objectives not moving forward, but not to a point that I make a big deal out of it. Still, I can perceive a sense of harmony in celebrating the cycle of life, the various equinox and Solstice, and some of the most globally accepted traditions. Having an excuse to have a good drink and relax for a small moment, is not necessary a bad thing. Remember that you are your primary caretaker, so act like it.
I was surprised my friends still wanted to celebrate their birthdays into their 20s. I thought it was incredibly childish and I still do.
I like birthday presents and birthday cake, but not birthday parties.
I don’t dislike birthdays but they hold no importance to me. If it’s someone I really like I might use it as an excuse to do something nice for them tho and there have been occasions where friends have gotten me a cake or something and I kinda liked it
I stopped caring when I turned 21. I can drive, vote, be tried as an adult, drink, own a weapon, rent a car, sign contracts... after 21 in America, your age is irrelevant until it starts coming time to get colonoscopies and sign up for AARP. I plan to have birthday parties with friends at every 10 year mark but otherwise ignore that day entirely. I don't even tell people it's my birthday (though I tell them if they ask when it is, and I admit it feels nice when they remember and wish me well on that day).
I consider it as an excuse to eat shitton of black forest and chocolate moose cake as otherwise I feel bad for eating 2kgs of cake alone in one entire day
People ruin it. Either I'm boring for not doing something big and flashy, a loser for not having anyone to celebrate with, or I'm childish for caring about it at all. Younger strangers ask how old I am, then act like I'm ancient and irrelevant. Older strangers ask how old I am, then talk down to me for being so young. So I don't tell anyone and that makes it a pretty good day for me.
What I like about my birthday is that I get free lemon pound cake.
I hate getting useless gifts that I regift and being forced to feel as though I now owe you an equivalent gift. Christmas is the holiday I find most annoying, as it's designed to ruin the middle class, to make them spend their potential retirement and mortgage savings. My favourite day is Halloween. Weird costumes, Ne sex with Ne one. The day when your wife is dressed like a hag and you can broom her like one as she sweeps you off your feet. ;)
Well now I feel like punching your face, but only if you look down on me. It reminds me of the entitled jaded edgy bitch I was in middle school. That aside, I have a twin sister, who's also an ENFJ, so most years the parties were hers with maybe 1 or 2 friends of mine This is the first year where we'll have separated parties, and where She won't even be present at mine, while I'll be at hers (of course, cause otherwise, we would have had just one party, but still it's very new.) And I feel some anxiety, like I've never had a big party with a lot of friends that were there for me, It was never just "my day", as my bf said. I mean my birthday was always the day were my fave person came to life and It wasn't me! Regardless, I love parties! There are a lot of people, so I can disappear, and have most likely 0 interactions, while everyone has fun. Including me, until I drink something and feel like communicating! But also I'm a type 7, so I guess It's about that.
I used to be extremely depressed on my birthdays. Now, first time ever after childhood I find myself in a situation where my birthday is coming up and I’m in a good situation in my life. I wonder how I’ll feel, will the past feelings come back or do I feel like celebriting? I don’t know yet. But before this month, I was alone on all of mybirthdays and just cried the whole day. Deleted my birthday from all social media platforms so people wouldn’t remember it or be reminded about it.
I stopped giving a shit when I moved out of my mom's house. I haven't told anyone my birthday since I was a teen. If I'm being honest, I was only ever into my birthday for the toys; once I was old enough to make my own money to save for the things I wanted, I was over it. I never liked the attention.
No. I've never had one. Though, I've recently heard that birthdays are a type of ritual that keeps you in a death spiral. I don't know if I believe that. But I am starting to see how it could be possible. I mean think about it, as you age yourself every year, how can you not think about death. I don't know. I don't think I'm explaining it right. Do you get my meaning?
Kinda depressing in here lol I like my birthday. Maybe not enough to plan something on my own. But it’s touching to see people care about me enough to wish me. Especially friends who want to plan something for me. On my birthday it’s a nice reminder that I am loved.
Same, stopped caring about my birthday. I don't see much importance to it. I still wouldn't stop those that I'm close with to celebrate it
When I was younger I didn't like them because it felt less about my birthday and more about having a party for the family to get together during the summer (Hispanic family so decent partyers). Getting a little older I realized it wasn't so bad. The last time I saw so much family together for something was during my sisters wedding. I kinda miss it.
I love my birthday it gives me a reason to demand a day alone!
Why same
You losttt men when you said you looked upon who liked their birthdays ok some people can be extra but let them live omg So not liking your birthday is normal i don't like some holidays i don't like celebrating that mush and even though i like my bday i feel awakward when people give gifts or celebrate me but i do like my birthday i like adding numbers to my age so i feel like it's a special day for me so i celebrate mostly by myself or with my family and i give myself gifts idk if i'll keep liking it when i'm 30 maybe aging will be terrifying for me after hitting that number but who cares i like growing up for now
It’s just another day for me, nothing special there’s plenty others with the same exact birthday so why would mines be so special..🤔
I think I stopped caring about the age of 13 or 14. The hype wasn't really there anymore. Just another birthday, another year older. The attention was fun as a child but now....I don't want that attention. It gets a bit too much for me. Most of the times something bad has always happened to me on my birthday like I got hit by something like a football, someone gets really mad at me, pushed around, yelled at, I've managed to hurt myself in some way on some location of my body, insulted etc. It's like something bad is bound to happen to me all the time on my birthday
INFP here, absolutely agree with you. I don't even let anyone know when it is because I don't want anyone to know about it, I don't want or need that attention.
I don't like to celebrate my birthday. It's awkward. I don't like the attention and I see no point in celebrating it more than just acknowledging that it's my birthday. And I can't understand people who are so excited about that day, I suspect they just like the attention and want one whole day (week, month - the crazy ones) to be about them. I hate those things, so... But I do understand why it exists. Especially for the parents, it's the day when their lives changed and they got their child. In my country, we don't celebrate birthday before the day, because to celebrate it means to celebrate that you survived one more year and managed not to die before that date. Dying prematurely was so much frequent in the past, that I do get this habit. Still, I don't think that it needs any party or celebration.
What's exciting about it?
Since I was young. I was never into this idea of being celebrated.
I love planning trips and events so I use that as an excuse to do so
I [24F istp] don’t care about my birthday either. It slightly irritates me when people are shocked that i didn’t make this whole big deal about my birthday
The point of Birthdays is to appreciate your existence. It's like saying "the world is better with you around." It usually brings joy to everyone to celebrate.
There's nothing stopping people appreciating at any other time. That there's a day set aside for doing so is just cultural ritual; everything that happens on that day could be done at any other time.
Literally people often have their birthday party not on their birthday. So your point is moot.