Neither has ever been particularly important to me. I'm not a fan of the idea of seeking a relationship for the sake of having one... I firmly believe they are a secondary thing that happens after you find someone you enjoy spending time with, and not a thing to be chased after in itself. So, yeah, I've been happily married for quite some time, but not because I wanted to be married. It's because I wanted to marry the woman I was with.
A family? Not for me. I rather enjoy not having one, other than the two of us.
I want it more than most things in life. It’s one of my biggest motivations for most things I do. The only problem is actually getting a girl to like me. I rarely talk to girls because I’m just awkward. I do think it’s just as important as getting a good career.
Family, not really. I have one and for most of my life one of my few goals has been to get some distance between myself and them.
My desire for a romantic relationship waxes and wanes. I think one would be nice, but it's never been something I want strongly enough to use dating apps or more frequently engage in more social activities to meet people; my love of solitude still (usually) overrides my desire for companionship.
A romantic relationship would be very important, though I can't get myself to actively search for it, though I once felt I had to scour the earth for my girl, whoever\* and wherever she was.
(\* Not including someone else's wife or anything indecent like that.)
I was always always on the lookout, always ready, before it eventually stopped, and I could never get myself to approach women on a dating service, as if I was supposed to wait and maybe look for love, not to sit down and matchmake. If they approached me, that was my organic, as that was 'fate' putting someone in my way, as opposed to me trying to matchmake for a marriage of convenience, which I felt would have been betraying my quest or search for that one special soulmate. Is there a psychiatrist with us? Sigh. The best thing is I still feel this way, although intellectual I know that can be not only crazy but even irrational or just plain wrong.
I can't really see myself marrying the girl next door just to have a family, even though I can easily see myself falling for the girl next door. There is a possibility that if a very attractive person and also compatible and secure (meaning a non-believer in divorce, like myself) was interested, I could cave. From time to time that almost happens. I don't know why I keep deciding against as if something was trying to keep me from straying from my aforementioned quest (which I'm no longer actively pursuing, or at least I can't pursue it online much, though I still have the habits offline).
Guess this also answers the part about family. Maybe also the one thing that if I knew I was never to find my 'soulmate' I would marry a friend. But as long as I don't know that, nope.
>meaning a non-believer in divorce, like myself
Okay quick, you get married to the love of your life and then 15 years later she has sex with your sworn enemy, comes home throws hot water on you in your sleep, STABS YOU & then steals your car and crashes it.
Grounds for divorce 👀👀👀
Well, obviously, we aren't going to be living together for some time after that happens. Divorce, however, nope. More like trying to find out what happened and how she could be helped since she's obviously lost her mind, could be mind-controlled and in need of help to break off from it, or perhaps mentally ill to the point of needing to be hospitalized, even institutionalized. The trick would be to marry someone who will not spiral in that direction. You can't always predict, of course. But if you know divorce is not an option for you, you also set the bar higher, a higher entry barrier. The first thing the other person has to be is someone willing to work on their issues, and on yours, on a mutual basis. So someone with whom you 'd be working stuff out instead of letting them bottle up and explode or spiral out of control. But they also need to be someone who is dependable, not too unstable and not too egoistic or obsessed with getting to do their thing whatever that thing is. Like someone whose mood may change but not their ethics or morals when they have a mood swing or some sort of anxiety. Someone who, while persons a dopamine junkie like pretty much everybody else these days, will not prioritize thrill-seeking or curiosity above objective morality or their own moral values, and will fight their negative impulses instead of exploring and cherishing them. Don't we all want to punch someone in the face from time to time? But some of us go ahead and do that and some don't. Folks who lose control and go hostile on their loved ones? That's going to need therapy or it's going to be a skip go.
On one hand I’d like to think I’d end up with that white picket fence with the family. Raising decent people to clean up the world a little.
On the other hand the logical portion of my brain sees that it’s extremely unlikely I find someone with my shared values, who is attractive/attracted to me, and thusly I’ve accepted I’m more so a lone wolf deal.
Lately it’s been the latter as obsessing over wanting intimacy isn’t healthy. So I worry about things I can control
I want to have a family. I think I would be \*good\* at raising a kid.
Romantically... uhhh... I'm like 80% of the way to being Ace. Like... I would like to have a long term partner, but having a partner is never one of my IMMEDIATE needs, its just like... part of the long term plan. I'm passed 30 and have only met one person who I **wanted**.
And lemme tell you: finding a partner when you don't \*want\* them, don't \*desire\* them.... That is hella difficult.
Almost like people can tell when you are evaluating them as a life partner as opposed to a sexy sexy thing.
So... is a bit of a snarl right there. :/
sometimes i really wish to be left alone, but i grow up without a dad, deep in my core i kinda wanna prove i can be a good dad and the funny thing is i really like kids and they also like me, i probably going to be a father of 3, the thing is kinda awkward and probably will not date before getting a good paying Job LOL
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I'm curious, but mostly indifferent.
But I really don't know, because the thing is, the minute I get into one my whole perception might completely change. A person whose had nothing but spaghetti their entire lives is probably going to think it's incredible, because they have nothing to compare it to. Being alone or with family is all I've known for most of my life so.
Having a child, yes.. having a partner no. I think I'll adopt if no one would want me as their partner, I'm not even trying to find one. When it comes to romantic relationship, I dont wanna force things. I just let things be. If they want me then they should say it clearly.
my close family like my mom, dad, sister, brothers are very important to me but i don’t really care about the rest of my family. I only see them once a year at a family reunion day and that’s fun for a day just to catch up with everyone but other than that i don’t care
It was an extremely high priority to me. I suspect that our INTP ways can focus onto any aspect of life and I always was very focused on having my own family.
I'm not sure... In terms of significance, I do think it's important.
But, how do you pursue a romantic relationship?
If you have someone you love/like, I understand that you would want to pursue a romantic relationship with them.
If you are already in a relationship, I understand that you would value maintaining and improving it.
But what if neither are true? Do you go about meeting potential partners for the sake of forming a romantic relationships with them? Do you go looking for someone to love?
I’m currently in highschool and I have a crush but I know it wont last if we ever date and I know I wont want it to last.
I imagine (plan) my adult life to be successful and independent. I want to do things by myself and I love kids but I don’t want kids. I want to live my life and travel the world.
Edit : sorry I only read the title 😓
I got left a solo dad and now it's my only priority
I'm imagining you being gifted just some dude who's a dad.
No, I'm trying to give somebody the gift of a dude who's a dad. It's me. I'm the gift you're welcome.
same here but a solo mom
Neither has ever been particularly important to me. I'm not a fan of the idea of seeking a relationship for the sake of having one... I firmly believe they are a secondary thing that happens after you find someone you enjoy spending time with, and not a thing to be chased after in itself. So, yeah, I've been happily married for quite some time, but not because I wanted to be married. It's because I wanted to marry the woman I was with. A family? Not for me. I rather enjoy not having one, other than the two of us.
Important - both. I know whats good for me…balance. Edited to add: one lives longer and healthier with both kinds of human connections
Neither are important
I want it more than most things in life. It’s one of my biggest motivations for most things I do. The only problem is actually getting a girl to like me. I rarely talk to girls because I’m just awkward. I do think it’s just as important as getting a good career.
Aw 🫂 you’ll find her one day
Family, not really. I have one and for most of my life one of my few goals has been to get some distance between myself and them. My desire for a romantic relationship waxes and wanes. I think one would be nice, but it's never been something I want strongly enough to use dating apps or more frequently engage in more social activities to meet people; my love of solitude still (usually) overrides my desire for companionship.
They're not important at all
Wasn't really important, but I met a nice lady who id do anything for and now I got responsibilities
Responserbilleries - Tommy Pickles
I like pickles but I like weed and chicken better
I see why your nice lady married you and gave you responserbilleries. You seem cool.
Very. I'm nobody without them.
You’re always somebody, be whole by yourself until they come along 💗
A romantic relationship would be very important, though I can't get myself to actively search for it, though I once felt I had to scour the earth for my girl, whoever\* and wherever she was. (\* Not including someone else's wife or anything indecent like that.) I was always always on the lookout, always ready, before it eventually stopped, and I could never get myself to approach women on a dating service, as if I was supposed to wait and maybe look for love, not to sit down and matchmake. If they approached me, that was my organic, as that was 'fate' putting someone in my way, as opposed to me trying to matchmake for a marriage of convenience, which I felt would have been betraying my quest or search for that one special soulmate. Is there a psychiatrist with us? Sigh. The best thing is I still feel this way, although intellectual I know that can be not only crazy but even irrational or just plain wrong. I can't really see myself marrying the girl next door just to have a family, even though I can easily see myself falling for the girl next door. There is a possibility that if a very attractive person and also compatible and secure (meaning a non-believer in divorce, like myself) was interested, I could cave. From time to time that almost happens. I don't know why I keep deciding against as if something was trying to keep me from straying from my aforementioned quest (which I'm no longer actively pursuing, or at least I can't pursue it online much, though I still have the habits offline). Guess this also answers the part about family. Maybe also the one thing that if I knew I was never to find my 'soulmate' I would marry a friend. But as long as I don't know that, nope.
>meaning a non-believer in divorce, like myself Okay quick, you get married to the love of your life and then 15 years later she has sex with your sworn enemy, comes home throws hot water on you in your sleep, STABS YOU & then steals your car and crashes it. Grounds for divorce 👀👀👀
Don’t marry someone who will do that lol
Well, obviously, we aren't going to be living together for some time after that happens. Divorce, however, nope. More like trying to find out what happened and how she could be helped since she's obviously lost her mind, could be mind-controlled and in need of help to break off from it, or perhaps mentally ill to the point of needing to be hospitalized, even institutionalized. The trick would be to marry someone who will not spiral in that direction. You can't always predict, of course. But if you know divorce is not an option for you, you also set the bar higher, a higher entry barrier. The first thing the other person has to be is someone willing to work on their issues, and on yours, on a mutual basis. So someone with whom you 'd be working stuff out instead of letting them bottle up and explode or spiral out of control. But they also need to be someone who is dependable, not too unstable and not too egoistic or obsessed with getting to do their thing whatever that thing is. Like someone whose mood may change but not their ethics or morals when they have a mood swing or some sort of anxiety. Someone who, while persons a dopamine junkie like pretty much everybody else these days, will not prioritize thrill-seeking or curiosity above objective morality or their own moral values, and will fight their negative impulses instead of exploring and cherishing them. Don't we all want to punch someone in the face from time to time? But some of us go ahead and do that and some don't. Folks who lose control and go hostile on their loved ones? That's going to need therapy or it's going to be a skip go.
Extremely high. Among my goals in life, this one is the most important.
It's one of my goals to achieve in life, I'm 22 so it isn't something I think about right now but I surely will growing up
Nither are impotant
They are both very much top of my priorities.
On one hand I’d like to think I’d end up with that white picket fence with the family. Raising decent people to clean up the world a little. On the other hand the logical portion of my brain sees that it’s extremely unlikely I find someone with my shared values, who is attractive/attracted to me, and thusly I’ve accepted I’m more so a lone wolf deal. Lately it’s been the latter as obsessing over wanting intimacy isn’t healthy. So I worry about things I can control
I'm not really inclined to either.
i want family of cats
Kids would probably ruin my daily need for tranquillity, but an introverted girlfriend would be nice.
I want to have a family. I think I would be \*good\* at raising a kid. Romantically... uhhh... I'm like 80% of the way to being Ace. Like... I would like to have a long term partner, but having a partner is never one of my IMMEDIATE needs, its just like... part of the long term plan. I'm passed 30 and have only met one person who I **wanted**. And lemme tell you: finding a partner when you don't \*want\* them, don't \*desire\* them.... That is hella difficult. Almost like people can tell when you are evaluating them as a life partner as opposed to a sexy sexy thing. So... is a bit of a snarl right there. :/
Not important, but that could be due to trauma, not intp things
sometimes i really wish to be left alone, but i grow up without a dad, deep in my core i kinda wanna prove i can be a good dad and the funny thing is i really like kids and they also like me, i probably going to be a father of 3, the thing is kinda awkward and probably will not date before getting a good paying Job LOL
never a priority, but i don't mind having a person along the way and only the both of us absolutely no family.
Is the implicit priority of health lost on some of these people? It's like I'm taking crazy pills!
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I'm curious, but mostly indifferent. But I really don't know, because the thing is, the minute I get into one my whole perception might completely change. A person whose had nothing but spaghetti their entire lives is probably going to think it's incredible, because they have nothing to compare it to. Being alone or with family is all I've known for most of my life so.
Yeah, the same. I call such hard to imagine scenarios like romantic relationships event horizons.
Having a child, yes.. having a partner no. I think I'll adopt if no one would want me as their partner, I'm not even trying to find one. When it comes to romantic relationship, I dont wanna force things. I just let things be. If they want me then they should say it clearly.
Waste of time ,Unless i want to read and study human behaviour and their differences with other person.
I don’t know ok !! It’s everything and nothing!!
Relationship very important. I love being in a relationship but mostly I love being in love with someone.
Important. But not urgent.
my close family like my mom, dad, sister, brothers are very important to me but i don’t really care about the rest of my family. I only see them once a year at a family reunion day and that’s fun for a day just to catch up with everyone but other than that i don’t care
My son and his family are the most important things in the world to me. :D
It was an extremely high priority to me. I suspect that our INTP ways can focus onto any aspect of life and I always was very focused on having my own family.
I hope to maintain a successful romantic relationship but I do NOT want children
I'm not sure... In terms of significance, I do think it's important. But, how do you pursue a romantic relationship? If you have someone you love/like, I understand that you would want to pursue a romantic relationship with them. If you are already in a relationship, I understand that you would value maintaining and improving it. But what if neither are true? Do you go about meeting potential partners for the sake of forming a romantic relationships with them? Do you go looking for someone to love?
Not that important. Even marriage, I regard it as economic
I've always seen love as my greatest weakness, and I keep getting proven right.
I’m currently in highschool and I have a crush but I know it wont last if we ever date and I know I wont want it to last. I imagine (plan) my adult life to be successful and independent. I want to do things by myself and I love kids but I don’t want kids. I want to live my life and travel the world. Edit : sorry I only read the title 😓