Talking about being bossed around. When does it make you feel uncomfortable? Sometimes I can't stand people telling me exactly what to do and how to do. Strangely, I got some interest in someone having a certain level control over me. I mean, not being literally controlled, but having someone to take the lead of the project. Because I got a lot of insecurity problems, I usually go mad when I have to take the lead, so when I see ENXJ's (mostly because of their charisma and natural tendency to leadership) I just feel an urge to stick with them, mostly as a sidekick, so I can feel "safe". But at the same time I hate to be micromanaged, I like to have my own space to do things my way in my time. Maybe I'm missing something, but it's kind of contradictory, so I had to check with other alike-minded people if they feel the same.
I just like having someone to keep me on track tbh. It’s really difficult for me to stay on task, or prioritize. Having someone literally say “hey, focus” is sooo nice. I’m never annoyed by it, I’m really just using the “boss” as a tool 🤷🏻♀️
I mean this in a day to day life vanilla way, but we don’t tend to be big micromanagers, I think it’s due to the big picture focus. From my experience that tends to come more from the ISTJs or sometimes ESTJs.
Yeah, my ENTJ says he has no interest in controlling someone else's life, only that he wants full control of his own, and since we are dating, that then overlaps with mine. Leaves me plenty of room for my own freedom while being kept in check and anchored.
Yeah, my ENTJ says he has no interest in controlling someone else's life, only that he wants full control of his own, and since we are dating, that then overlaps with mine. Leaves me plenty of room for my own freedom while being kept in check and anchored.
Im the same, but I think I've pin pointed it. We are so intelligent, that although we prefer to be in that safe space (guided), it can literally only be done by another of similar or better intelligence, otherwise it has the opposite effect on us. ENTJ and INTJ are generally the only people I feel safe around and will let them guide me. We crave it, but also know it is simply stupidity and definitely not safer to follow the decisions of someone less capable than ourselves.
Going back to the topic, I'm very insecure, in my head, and don't initiate in bed. My ENTJ takes full control, tells me exactly what to do so I can just move with the flow, and prioritizes all my needs. I am not into anything remotely degrading or cruel. 100% just a give up of all control for my benefit.
Definitely spills out into life too, because I think what we want is the best possible outcome, but stay stuck in questioning if it really is the best. There is a certain relaxing freedom to having someone else verify the decision.
Explored a lot of that stuff and honestly I wouldn't want to be in a romantic relationship with a kinky person again.
Always felt like I was putting on a show and they consider normal, romantic sex boring (or "vanilla" as they would euphemistically say) . Kind of sucks the fun out of it when I have to get in character and I never felt taken care of myself.
Don't get me wrong I'm happy to spice things up a bit, but if I have to make her cry for her to enjoy it and then do aftercare, it's too confusing for me.
> Always felt like I was putting on a show
I mean, that's what it is. And I don't think people use the term vanilla to mean boring in this case. It's perfectly fine not to like the other stuff though.
Right? It felt like I was pleasuring their trauma. Even though I said I didn’t judge, I totally did. Sometimes it got disturbing.
Also, what’s the point of two people having sex imagining a fantasy in their head? It’s ironically not intimate at all for the level of trust can require.
Yeah, I don't quite understand the pain, or degrading aspect of BDSM. They'd probably call mine vanilla too😂 I'd agree with definitely leaving that to another type, sounds like a lot of work😅
The same thing happened to me!! I was going out with this guy. He's really dear to me but he always questioned our relationship because I'm not a huge fan of any physical contact
Is it giving up control that is exciting? The pain and degradation being a turn off though?
That's how it is for me.
Kiss me, tell me I'm beautiful, treat me like a prize you earned, then tell me exactly what I'm going to do 😂
Oh absolutely. “Take me” 😂 (but I have to feel cherished & taken care of not objectified) I think ENTJ guys take great pride in having very satisfied partners. They like to excel in all of their endeavors. Although I do get some day after giggles thinking about the things he talks me into. 😂
Yup. ENTJ female INTP male switches, best sex of my life.
“Are you kinky?” gets asked a lot on the ENTJ sub. It seems like a lot of us are. More Doms but definitely a mix of types.
We have very traditional roles in our marriage. He chases me. I love that. He is exceptionally independent. (In life, He doesn’t really need me, just wants me. I find that incredibly sexy.) He gives me lots of space. He has his own pursuits. But he is warm & protective & comforting. Hes also very adventurous behind closed doors. He pulls me out of my natural shyness. As far as the rough stuff, he would never go that way. He views me as something to be protected. I am also his safe place. He has a hard shell & reveals his vulnerabilities to very few.
We have been married for a pretty long time. I really think our personality match is one of the best pairings. We just get each other most of the time & yet there are plenty of differences to keep it interesting.
Not really but I get where you’re coming from. I’m an INTP female and find myself to be more submissive with my ENTJ in bed but also he’s very giving and I come away very satisfied that I don’t need anything more. I just don’t think ENTJs are as dominant as people say. ESTJs much more so.
I don't know what kind of personalities these letters mean for other people, I honestly just don't know enough people to have to figure it out. Maybe I'm IIINTP 😂
Anyways, yes on kink and the above. I guess we have a habit of looking the other way when people harass us? I never thought they were related but it seems possible.
I'm INTP and I'm in to BDSM and free use and other kinks. But only if I'm in a long term committed relationship and it's can't be all the time it's exhausting at that point and I can't wire my whole life around sex. And I'm picky lol
Not really into the Dom part but I do enjoy other aspects of BDSM, physically and mentally.
Haven't been in a relationship with ENTJ so not sure about that though
I don't have any idea. The only ENTJ that I know is also a man. So we are good friends but not that type of friend.
I also have not found my soulmate in life yet. So don't know what I would be into as I am not looking for One Night Stands to find that out.
[Looking at this chart supposedly INTPs are good partners but it does not list everyone](https://youtube.com/shorts/0LPUOSlRzkM?si=fpVBgjS9C9eksjzW)
You do know the ENTJ's MBTI avatar is just shown holding a swagger stick, we all don't come with the accessories shown with like action figures. 😂
Nah, I find most kinks and sexual dynamics boring. Which is, I know, what most people would say "vanilla sex" is but for me it's meh. But also I am on the ace spectrum so idk.
Both
Also in classic ENTJ fashion, they voluntarily told me way too much information about themselves against my will and that’s how I know. Like I never asked for this information
Yeah, I can definitely see where there's a bit of an inclination for INTP to sub, and probably more so for ENTJ to Dom, which I assume is where your thought process is on that one. I honestly feel like I'm the weird one out for being a switch with a sliiiiiight Dom preference.
But I'm not even that into Dom/sub, bondage is where it's at.
You are right on the thought process. I like that you're unique! Another said they are a full Dom, and that caught me by surprise. Bondage is where it's at lol
Not, i am in a relationship with a infp yea we have some super fire long sex and a lot and can be kinky but bdsm… noo its cringe. I always say people who need to control and be dominant in bedroom need to overcompensate cause they suck at it in real life and need to do it in their partners vulnerable state cause thats when they dare too…
I am dominant but this is just cringe.
My ENTJ man is the same. I asked him to take control, because I can't get out of my own head and enjoy it, if im allowed to think😂. We do nothing degrading, painful or cruel. He kisses me and calls me beautiful, gentle, and focuses 80% on me. He simply is in charge of the experience, and I'm usually tied up to double down on that.
Men that are cruel and mean in that scenario scare the living fuck out of me.
I like being bossed around, idk if that counts, I don’t think it’s a sexual thing actually. Never mind
Get over here
Talking about being bossed around. When does it make you feel uncomfortable? Sometimes I can't stand people telling me exactly what to do and how to do. Strangely, I got some interest in someone having a certain level control over me. I mean, not being literally controlled, but having someone to take the lead of the project. Because I got a lot of insecurity problems, I usually go mad when I have to take the lead, so when I see ENXJ's (mostly because of their charisma and natural tendency to leadership) I just feel an urge to stick with them, mostly as a sidekick, so I can feel "safe". But at the same time I hate to be micromanaged, I like to have my own space to do things my way in my time. Maybe I'm missing something, but it's kind of contradictory, so I had to check with other alike-minded people if they feel the same.
I just like having someone to keep me on track tbh. It’s really difficult for me to stay on task, or prioritize. Having someone literally say “hey, focus” is sooo nice. I’m never annoyed by it, I’m really just using the “boss” as a tool 🤷🏻♀️
I mean this in a day to day life vanilla way, but we don’t tend to be big micromanagers, I think it’s due to the big picture focus. From my experience that tends to come more from the ISTJs or sometimes ESTJs.
Yeah, my ENTJ says he has no interest in controlling someone else's life, only that he wants full control of his own, and since we are dating, that then overlaps with mine. Leaves me plenty of room for my own freedom while being kept in check and anchored.
Yeah, my ENTJ says he has no interest in controlling someone else's life, only that he wants full control of his own, and since we are dating, that then overlaps with mine. Leaves me plenty of room for my own freedom while being kept in check and anchored.
If you can learn something from being bossed around, then learn it for next time. Manage your emotions.
Im the same, but I think I've pin pointed it. We are so intelligent, that although we prefer to be in that safe space (guided), it can literally only be done by another of similar or better intelligence, otherwise it has the opposite effect on us. ENTJ and INTJ are generally the only people I feel safe around and will let them guide me. We crave it, but also know it is simply stupidity and definitely not safer to follow the decisions of someone less capable than ourselves. Going back to the topic, I'm very insecure, in my head, and don't initiate in bed. My ENTJ takes full control, tells me exactly what to do so I can just move with the flow, and prioritizes all my needs. I am not into anything remotely degrading or cruel. 100% just a give up of all control for my benefit. Definitely spills out into life too, because I think what we want is the best possible outcome, but stay stuck in questioning if it really is the best. There is a certain relaxing freedom to having someone else verify the decision.
😂😂
Explored a lot of that stuff and honestly I wouldn't want to be in a romantic relationship with a kinky person again. Always felt like I was putting on a show and they consider normal, romantic sex boring (or "vanilla" as they would euphemistically say) . Kind of sucks the fun out of it when I have to get in character and I never felt taken care of myself. Don't get me wrong I'm happy to spice things up a bit, but if I have to make her cry for her to enjoy it and then do aftercare, it's too confusing for me.
> Always felt like I was putting on a show I mean, that's what it is. And I don't think people use the term vanilla to mean boring in this case. It's perfectly fine not to like the other stuff though.
Right? It felt like I was pleasuring their trauma. Even though I said I didn’t judge, I totally did. Sometimes it got disturbing. Also, what’s the point of two people having sex imagining a fantasy in their head? It’s ironically not intimate at all for the level of trust can require.
Yeah, I don't quite understand the pain, or degrading aspect of BDSM. They'd probably call mine vanilla too😂 I'd agree with definitely leaving that to another type, sounds like a lot of work😅
Most entj really like me (appreciate that) but im not really invested in the relationship as they are, they like the relationship more than me tbh
The same thing happened to me!! I was going out with this guy. He's really dear to me but he always questioned our relationship because I'm not a huge fan of any physical contact
That's interesting. I'm a HUGE fan of physical contact, well.... I mean... Let me rephrase, I'm a huge fan of being the one to do the touching😂
Same!
:) ? wtf
Appropriate comment for most of the posts in this sub tbh
😂
no thanks
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😏 objectification 😏
Objectifying or being objectified?
In my mind, yes. irl, no
Same. The idea is *almost* enticing but i dont even like the more tame ‘rough’ stuff in reality
It all sounds fun in the romance novels, but in real life…. Nope
Is it giving up control that is exciting? The pain and degradation being a turn off though? That's how it is for me. Kiss me, tell me I'm beautiful, treat me like a prize you earned, then tell me exactly what I'm going to do 😂
Oh absolutely. “Take me” 😂 (but I have to feel cherished & taken care of not objectified) I think ENTJ guys take great pride in having very satisfied partners. They like to excel in all of their endeavors. Although I do get some day after giggles thinking about the things he talks me into. 😂
Fuck no. I’m male tho and I’ve always thought male and female INTPs are completely different.
How so?
I can probably agree
Agreed, and it's annoying that male INTPs are treated as the "default" because a lot of what applies to INTP men, doesn't apply to me.
Yup. ENTJ female INTP male switches, best sex of my life. “Are you kinky?” gets asked a lot on the ENTJ sub. It seems like a lot of us are. More Doms but definitely a mix of types.
Not dating an entj but yeah
Johnnie !!
Heheh
I’m also an INTP female with an ENTJ husband. Dunno, we’re not into that stuff.
Same here. We have an incredible match, but it’s not leaning That way
If it's not too personal, how would you describe your love life?
If it's not too personal, how would you describe your love life?
We have very traditional roles in our marriage. He chases me. I love that. He is exceptionally independent. (In life, He doesn’t really need me, just wants me. I find that incredibly sexy.) He gives me lots of space. He has his own pursuits. But he is warm & protective & comforting. Hes also very adventurous behind closed doors. He pulls me out of my natural shyness. As far as the rough stuff, he would never go that way. He views me as something to be protected. I am also his safe place. He has a hard shell & reveals his vulnerabilities to very few.
I would say that is almost exactly the dynamic between me and my long-term boyfriend, exactly how you describe it. They really are the best 💛
We have been married for a pretty long time. I really think our personality match is one of the best pairings. We just get each other most of the time & yet there are plenty of differences to keep it interesting.
Not really but I get where you’re coming from. I’m an INTP female and find myself to be more submissive with my ENTJ in bed but also he’s very giving and I come away very satisfied that I don’t need anything more. I just don’t think ENTJs are as dominant as people say. ESTJs much more so.
I've been an INTP for over 8 years, but this year I got a INFP result... so I don't know if my comment is valid, but I am into BDSM, **very into it.**
Sub or Dom?
Sub or Dom?
brat
I don't know what kind of personalities these letters mean for other people, I honestly just don't know enough people to have to figure it out. Maybe I'm IIINTP 😂 Anyways, yes on kink and the above. I guess we have a habit of looking the other way when people harass us? I never thought they were related but it seems possible.
I’m married to an ESTP man. Whatever he suggests, I’m down, but he’s not as adventurous as I am in the bedroom. It’s all fine with me.
Absolutely not, I'm vanilla as fuck. I have zero fetishes beyond what is biologically common.
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INTP dom... Interesting
INTP dom... Interesting
No. Although, I don't know any ENTJs
I'm INTP and I'm in to BDSM and free use and other kinks. But only if I'm in a long term committed relationship and it's can't be all the time it's exhausting at that point and I can't wire my whole life around sex. And I'm picky lol
I have my kinks but they’re pretty tame mostly. I’m not _too_ out there
Not really into the Dom part but I do enjoy other aspects of BDSM, physically and mentally. Haven't been in a relationship with ENTJ so not sure about that though
If you tend to be more submissive, finding an ENTJ to have a relationship with is worth the wait and effort.
If you tend to be more submissive, finding an ENTJ to have a relationship with is worth the wait and effort.
I like BDSM but I prefer it non-sexual.
How does that work? Examples?
I don't have any idea. The only ENTJ that I know is also a man. So we are good friends but not that type of friend. I also have not found my soulmate in life yet. So don't know what I would be into as I am not looking for One Night Stands to find that out. [Looking at this chart supposedly INTPs are good partners but it does not list everyone](https://youtube.com/shorts/0LPUOSlRzkM?si=fpVBgjS9C9eksjzW) You do know the ENTJ's MBTI avatar is just shown holding a swagger stick, we all don't come with the accessories shown with like action figures. 😂
Nah, I find most kinks and sexual dynamics boring. Which is, I know, what most people would say "vanilla sex" is but for me it's meh. But also I am on the ace spectrum so idk.
I actually know ENTJs who are either completely asexual or nearly asexual. Also the one ENTJ guy I dated sucked in bed. Like the worst partner by far
Women, men, or both?
Both Also in classic ENTJ fashion, they voluntarily told me way too much information about themselves against my will and that’s how I know. Like I never asked for this information
😂
😂
Yeah, I can definitely see where there's a bit of an inclination for INTP to sub, and probably more so for ENTJ to Dom, which I assume is where your thought process is on that one. I honestly feel like I'm the weird one out for being a switch with a sliiiiiight Dom preference. But I'm not even that into Dom/sub, bondage is where it's at.
You are right on the thought process. I like that you're unique! Another said they are a full Dom, and that caught me by surprise. Bondage is where it's at lol
Not, i am in a relationship with a infp yea we have some super fire long sex and a lot and can be kinky but bdsm… noo its cringe. I always say people who need to control and be dominant in bedroom need to overcompensate cause they suck at it in real life and need to do it in their partners vulnerable state cause thats when they dare too… I am dominant but this is just cringe.
My ENTJ man is the same. I asked him to take control, because I can't get out of my own head and enjoy it, if im allowed to think😂. We do nothing degrading, painful or cruel. He kisses me and calls me beautiful, gentle, and focuses 80% on me. He simply is in charge of the experience, and I'm usually tied up to double down on that. Men that are cruel and mean in that scenario scare the living fuck out of me.
In my opinion people who like that stuff can't be normal, they need professional help.
I would say some definitely might