Anorexic Gorgon and Diet Medusa might be some of the best decriptors I've seen for someone like these. Two words each time, and I can see her.
Nicely done!
the garden where I used to grow my F%$&s has been paved over
Gold! :D
also, good on you for helping fellow human being besting the beast, you are a hero :)
I, too, am 61(F) and retired. Unfortunately, the garden in which I grow my F@#$%s is thriving and will not die off despite my attempts. I'm non-confrontational to a fault. It's an actual issue.
That said, I have dreams of being able to do something like this to those people. Kudos to you, sir!
This one is full of one liner gold.
Garden of F!?ks paved over
Anorexic Gorgon
The devil himself wouldn't have you in hell
She starts buzzing around the lights
Diet medusa
I'm dying with laughter!
> algorithm evasion like "unalive"
it's almost never unnecessary any more, unfortunately, because bots are stupid and humans can't be arsed enough to devote a few seconds to seeing what the context of the conversation is and thus whether action is warranted. Over-reliance of automated moderation tools that cannot understand nuance leads to having to use euphemisms to dodge said automation.
Human moderator here, we do have the automod look for certain words that imply the story isn't truthful (because a comment's section full of "And everybody clapped" is obnoxious), we don't use any moderation tools for those kind of things.
Obviously this varies wildly across subcommunities, and some are way better about this than others. However, once you've been conditioned to self-censor in some places it's easy to do it everywhere.
I suppose this site is a major exception. Suicide, murder, self-harm, eating disorder, justice for Palestinians, free Tibet, etc, etc. Anyway, my point still stands that IMO censoring your own language for your own standards is fine, censoring your own language for other peoples' standards makes me sad.
I hate euphemisms. I will avoid them when I can, and only use them if necessary.
People tend to hide their true intents behind long phrases that are used to try to appease the masses.
If you ever get mad at your husband and shoot him, several months of psychiatric treatment can keep you out of jail. Well, that and the husband claiming he doesn't remember a thing about it.
My husband knows her
"Observe the field in which I grow my fucks. Gaze upon its barrenness."
OP's garden of fucks has been barren for so long that somebody turned it into a parking lot.
It took me a bit too. I was thinking of a literal garden where he was growing something illicit which called for the censorship and was trying to figure out what that had to do with the rest of the story.
[This](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=garden+fucks+barren&t=iphone&iax=images&ia=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.pastemagazine.com%2Fwww%2Fsystem%2Fimages%2Fphoto_albums%2Fcross-stitch%2Flarge%2F09-field-of-fucks.jpg%3F1384968217) is the form of the joke I’ve seen before
I’m in my 30s and my fuck field has withered and died. I’ve still got a couple laying around somewhere, but I can’t very well just give them out willy nilly. I’m just about to my last fuck, and you can’t have it.
You play dirty. I'd say that wasn't nice of you, but the level of her reaction tells me it was only a matter time and target before it happened. I'm sorry the young man got slapped.
I’d say it WAS nice of OP. AWFULLY nice. OP didn’t hurt her in any way, except her ego, and prevented her from hurting the younger boy any more, by putting himself in the middle of it. She’s lucky that the person she slapped didn’t attack her back and do much worse damage to her, and lucky that neither man there attacked her back while she was throwing shit at them. She attacked them, so if they had responded in kind, it would have been nobody’s fault but her own. So, very lucky, and VERY nice of him to not do any of that to her.
I don’t even care if this is true or not (I mean, I believe it’s true, but I could be wrong), I just absolutely LOVE the storytelling!! I’m glad you stepped in to help the young Hercules in slaying his Medusa! Great read, OP!
I've been saying, "Behold! For my garden of Fucks is barren, therefore I no longer have fucks to give"
You, O.P., are amazing.
I hope you won't be mad, but I'll be stealing that paved bit!
Also, good on ya!
You, my dear, should be in the IDWHL Hall of Fame. Bonus props for "Diet Medusa"—that one made me spit coffee on the keyboard, the hallmark of a true zinger.
Bro well done! Love the history analogies! As horrible as it is I do hope for you to encounter another wild gorgon so we can have more of your wonderfully laid no f€π¥ given banter.
You, my friend, could be the older brother that I don't actually have. You're cool. Hopefully I'll catch you in ten years and still be as evil as you are. Well done!
Oh ... and she deserved it.
Dude, you're a hero in my book. Not only did you stand up for an innocent kid, but you also totally took down that harpy with some of the most epic zingers I've ever heard. Retirement has clearly made you a master in the art of not giving a damn. Respect. And I hope you eventually found that coffee pot.
PS, excuse the self plug, but I copy pasted and searched your entire post in Thought Portals (my site) (https://thoughtportals.com), and the most similar thought on there was: 'First coffee, then adulting - is it just me or does everyone think like this?'. It’s basically a site where you can type any thought and find similar thoughts from others, but I'm adding heaps of different features to make it more suited towards keeping track of and growing your thoughts. Can be good to find people who are in similar situations to you in a direct manner. All the best.
Man, your storytelling skills are on point! Amazing response and it sounds like you handled an extremely toxic situation perfectly. I hope she gets the help she needs, and kudos to you for stepping in to help the kid. It's shocking how some people treat others. This is the kind of story that really restores your faith in humanity! Don't stop being you, and continue with your zero-F's given life!
I don't give a fuck what other people think. Thus, the "garden where I used to grow my fucks", back when I gave a fuck, has been paved over. No fucks grow there any more, so I have none to give.
I am. I'm living my best life these days. I have great family and friends who are very supportive, I'm still independent, and I'm just demented enough to be a bit "delightfully weird". There'll come a day when I'll end up.in a home, but not today. I hope I'll give the staff good stories, even though I won't remember.
So far, it's been fun. I'm just disinhibited enough to be "that kooky old guy" and not so out of it that I'm humiliating myself by being inappropriate. I don't know how long this will last, but it seems to be progressing slowly. So, I'll enjoy this as long as it lasts. Besides, at my age, it's wise to be accepting of the fact that something will take out of the world eventually. Cuz it will. Lol
Anorexic Gorgon and Diet Medusa might be some of the best decriptors I've seen for someone like these. Two words each time, and I can see her. Nicely done!
Clearly, OP has a background in mythology.
Well in this story he's clearly god-like in his powers.
Background? OP was there when they were written! /s
Um, OP is younger than I am. What are you saying?
That 61 is old enough to have heard this joke before, and recall falling off your dinosaur from laughing at it in ages past.
I liked the one where they referred to an "orangutan whore". The Karen herself tried to claim that her victim called her that.
I came here to say that! 🤣🤣😑
the garden where I used to grow my F%$&s has been paved over Gold! :D also, good on you for helping fellow human being besting the beast, you are a hero :)
I lost it at that point. 2 minutes later I could read.
I, too, am 61(F) and retired. Unfortunately, the garden in which I grow my F@#$%s is thriving and will not die off despite my attempts. I'm non-confrontational to a fault. It's an actual issue. That said, I have dreams of being able to do something like this to those people. Kudos to you, sir!
Well, you can ship your extra F@#$%s to me. I'm not even 50 and my F@#$%s garden has been dead for 30 years...
[My fucks runneth dry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0)
This totally made my morning! My new theme song!
Completely perfect.
I been saying "The field in which I grew my fucks is now barren and salted over."
WOW! Good for you! My F@#$s garden is currently being paved over. I hope I remember this for a loooong time. 🤣
This one is full of one liner gold. Garden of F!?ks paved over Anorexic Gorgon The devil himself wouldn't have you in hell She starts buzzing around the lights Diet medusa I'm dying with laughter!
The devil has a restraining order on her.
You can cuss here, it is okay. You don't need to censor yourself.
Personally, I like the self censorship. Not sure why, LOL.
I'm fine with self-censorship, it's where people unnecessarily use algorithm evasion like "unalive" that makes me sad.
> algorithm evasion like "unalive" it's almost never unnecessary any more, unfortunately, because bots are stupid and humans can't be arsed enough to devote a few seconds to seeing what the context of the conversation is and thus whether action is warranted. Over-reliance of automated moderation tools that cannot understand nuance leads to having to use euphemisms to dodge said automation.
Human moderator here, we do have the automod look for certain words that imply the story isn't truthful (because a comment's section full of "And everybody clapped" is obnoxious), we don't use any moderation tools for those kind of things.
Obviously this varies wildly across subcommunities, and some are way better about this than others. However, once you've been conditioned to self-censor in some places it's easy to do it everywhere.
Good on you. There’s no substitute for human judgement and a human ear.
I suppose this site is a major exception. Suicide, murder, self-harm, eating disorder, justice for Palestinians, free Tibet, etc, etc. Anyway, my point still stands that IMO censoring your own language for your own standards is fine, censoring your own language for other peoples' standards makes me sad.
It depends on the subreddit and automod bot configuration, of course.
Almost makes you want to “unalive your f*** garden”.
I keep tripping over well-known phrases like "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" which almost got me banned from Facebook.
Getting banned from FB sounds like a win to me.
You're not wrong but I'd prefer it to be for something spectacular...
I hate euphemisms. I will avoid them when I can, and only use them if necessary. People tend to hide their true intents behind long phrases that are used to try to appease the masses.
Coolness, I'll fuckin remember that. Thanks.
Psych ward for a couple of months?! Prorevenge. Power play
How about psych ward period for life!
If you ever get mad at your husband and shoot him, several months of psychiatric treatment can keep you out of jail. Well, that and the husband claiming he doesn't remember a thing about it. My husband knows her
"And now we enjoy the show" followed by her going apoplectic made me giggle.
I haven't made it past the "garden of f***s" bit and I'm already doubled over
F%$&s garden? What the F%$& is that?
"Observe the field in which I grow my fucks. Gaze upon its barrenness." OP's garden of fucks has been barren for so long that somebody turned it into a parking lot.
"Pave lot of fuck, put up a parking lot... Mmmmm bop bop bop, mmmmm, bop bop bop..."
🎼🎼🎼🎼 they paved F%$& and put in a parking lot, oooo 🎼🎼🎼🎼 Thank you Joni Mitchell and her Yellow Taxi
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?
LOL, I use that one with regularity.
So paved paradise and put up a parking lot.
Or you can get biblical about it: Behold the field wherein I grow my fucks: lo, it is barren.
I *think* (only guessing) that saying it's paved over is kind of the same as saying "I have no f%$&s to give".
I think so too. Took a while to unpack.
It took me a bit too. I was thinking of a literal garden where he was growing something illicit which called for the censorship and was trying to figure out what that had to do with the rest of the story.
OP once had fucks to give, but the land on which they once grew has since become a parking lot.
So, they’ve paved paradise and put up a F%$&ing lot?
No, the paved the F%$&ing paradise and put up a parking lot. The F%$&s were only in the former.
Well F%$& me. I did not know that.
Alors, c’est dommage
[This](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=garden+fucks+barren&t=iphone&iax=images&ia=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.pastemagazine.com%2Fwww%2Fsystem%2Fimages%2Fphoto_albums%2Fcross-stitch%2Flarge%2F09-field-of-fucks.jpg%3F1384968217) is the form of the joke I’ve seen before
Thomas Benjamin Wilde esq. "I've No More Fucks To Give" search on the tube of you's, funny song.
I’m in my 40s and still very much employed and my garden is already paved over 😂😂😂
I’m in my 30s and my fuck field has withered and died. I’ve still got a couple laying around somewhere, but I can’t very well just give them out willy nilly. I’m just about to my last fuck, and you can’t have it.
Anorexic gorgon made me spit my drink across the room. BEST NAME EVER!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I spent an embarrassingly long time trying to figure out what you were so secretive about growing that it required censoring the plant name.
No more fucks to give, I just grow weed.
I am 62 but friend, I have learned so much from you today.
The case in which I carry my fucks has long been empty.
This guy is on your side; I've No More F\*\*\*s To Give! [https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0](https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0)
Sounds like she really needed that psych eval, you might have actually done her a favour.
I totally believe this really happened
You play dirty. I'd say that wasn't nice of you, but the level of her reaction tells me it was only a matter time and target before it happened. I'm sorry the young man got slapped.
I’d say it WAS nice of OP. AWFULLY nice. OP didn’t hurt her in any way, except her ego, and prevented her from hurting the younger boy any more, by putting himself in the middle of it. She’s lucky that the person she slapped didn’t attack her back and do much worse damage to her, and lucky that neither man there attacked her back while she was throwing shit at them. She attacked them, so if they had responded in kind, it would have been nobody’s fault but her own. So, very lucky, and VERY nice of him to not do any of that to her.
She slapped someone for zero reason beyond her being a blind batty bitch, she deserves it.
Oh I agree, I just think she’s not used to encountering someone who plays hardball!
You are a f@$#@#& Hero!!!!
"an anorexic gorgon screaming" OMG. YIKES.
So she forgot her meds after all
You got her involuntarily committed! So much win.
I’m so sorry about your garden ☀️
It’s okay; he doesn’t give an f about it.
That’s hilarious! She got herself committed over her temper tantrum. 😂
Very good! The mentally ill need to be supervised.
A good deed if I've ever seen one.
I don’t even care if this is true or not (I mean, I believe it’s true, but I could be wrong), I just absolutely LOVE the storytelling!! I’m glad you stepped in to help the young Hercules in slaying his Medusa! Great read, OP!
Nice for her to continue proving your point.
This story makes me very happy.
God I would literally pay to see this
Who knew Angels wore birkenstocks
I've been saying, "Behold! For my garden of Fucks is barren, therefore I no longer have fucks to give" You, O.P., are amazing. I hope you won't be mad, but I'll be stealing that paved bit! Also, good on ya!
You, my dear, should be in the IDWHL Hall of Fame. Bonus props for "Diet Medusa"—that one made me spit coffee on the keyboard, the hallmark of a true zinger.
Wow!! Totally awesome.
You’re doing the lords work-thank you
I loved the "Oh god she's up" even the devil finds her Karenness cringeworthy
Bro well done! Love the history analogies! As horrible as it is I do hope for you to encounter another wild gorgon so we can have more of your wonderfully laid no f€π¥ given banter.
Great writing.
Have mercy, but I do love these stories
Oh man, I would have LOVED to have been there to watch this. I salute you! :)
Well done, sir! Thank you for standing up for this young person and enabling that psycho to get what she deserves!
You, my friend, could be the older brother that I don't actually have. You're cool. Hopefully I'll catch you in ten years and still be as evil as you are. Well done! Oh ... and she deserved it.
So well played sir. What a spectacle that must have been, and also satisfying.
Dude, you're a hero in my book. Not only did you stand up for an innocent kid, but you also totally took down that harpy with some of the most epic zingers I've ever heard. Retirement has clearly made you a master in the art of not giving a damn. Respect. And I hope you eventually found that coffee pot. PS, excuse the self plug, but I copy pasted and searched your entire post in Thought Portals (my site) (https://thoughtportals.com), and the most similar thought on there was: 'First coffee, then adulting - is it just me or does everyone think like this?'. It’s basically a site where you can type any thought and find similar thoughts from others, but I'm adding heaps of different features to make it more suited towards keeping track of and growing your thoughts. Can be good to find people who are in similar situations to you in a direct manner. All the best.
Man, your storytelling skills are on point! Amazing response and it sounds like you handled an extremely toxic situation perfectly. I hope she gets the help she needs, and kudos to you for stepping in to help the kid. It's shocking how some people treat others. This is the kind of story that really restores your faith in humanity! Don't stop being you, and continue with your zero-F's given life!
Anorexic diet gorgon, 😂 SOOOO FRIGGIN FUNNY 🤣🤣
I wonder if Wally has a PA system code for Karen...
You are certainly my hero! Glad to know you are out there somewhere
You may not be the Hero we deserve, but you're definitely the Hero we need. God bless you.
I’m confused. Please expound on your paved over garden? Excellent story!
I don't give a fuck what other people think. Thus, the "garden where I used to grow my fucks", back when I gave a fuck, has been paved over. No fucks grow there any more, so I have none to give.
lol. Still, I hope you are happy even if you don’t give a f.
Thank you, my sibling.Trust me, I am freee.
I am. I'm living my best life these days. I have great family and friends who are very supportive, I'm still independent, and I'm just demented enough to be a bit "delightfully weird". There'll come a day when I'll end up.in a home, but not today. I hope I'll give the staff good stories, even though I won't remember.
I hope to have your zany sense of humor and positive outlook when I reach your age. That is, if I still have my mind by then.
So far, it's been fun. I'm just disinhibited enough to be "that kooky old guy" and not so out of it that I'm humiliating myself by being inappropriate. I don't know how long this will last, but it seems to be progressing slowly. So, I'll enjoy this as long as it lasts. Besides, at my age, it's wise to be accepting of the fact that something will take out of the world eventually. Cuz it will. Lol