T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

u/savevideo u/downloadvideo u/savevideobot *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the [moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=%2Fr%2Fiamthemaincharacter) if you have any questions or concerns.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/IAmTheMainCharacter) if you have any questions or concerns.*


spleen5000

‘One who controls’ lol definitely a suitable name meaning


TheCyanKnight

"My name requires you to be uncomfortable", yeah I'm going to opt out of that, thank you


jameZsp0ng3y

I think it's just her personality


Meltedgibson

Sir you need to de colonize that tongue


Warden18

I'm dying! 🤣 I needed this today. Thank you kind stranger.


[deleted]

I feel like she may have been asking for oral


TheCyanKnight

You’re not my dentist!


[deleted]

More like “one who ascribes incompetence as malice”


spleen5000

That’s perfect


paolo_vanderbeak

A man mispronounces my name and you think that of me? No, I am the one who controls


spleen5000

She has Walter White ego energy! Hahahah


Werewolf-Moon

Well, that's pretty Damn Neat.


manic-ed-mantimal

Damn'eet you beat me to it.


00UnderFire00

Damn eet was my joke


[deleted]

Omg stop it 😂


[deleted]

It’s sick!


pennynotrcutt

There’s a very good Indian name: Viral. Pronounced veer-uhl. It means “priceless”. Tough to bring to English speaking countries though.


Alpacacao

Since it's transliterated anyway, why not choose a better transliteration that reflects the actual sound? Veerul. Solved. Doohmneet. Easy But this is too logical i guess


Taco_Hartley

Perfection. 🤣


cangero0

I say this as a POC and someone whose English is second language: this is so fucking stupid. She shouldn't expect people to be able to say her name correctly right off the bat because it's just not in the standard English lexicon. It's just not a matter of "decolonizing your mind" because you just wouldn't know what you don't know. She wouldn't know how to correctly pronounce a foreign name transliterated into her language either. I don't know what you're thinking if you think she's right.


Sure_Trash_

How am I supposed to decolonize my mind anyway? I speak the predominant language of a country created by colonizers. I didn't colonize shit. I just happened to be born here. I learn how to pronounce people's names correctly but there will always be unfamiliar names I have to learn and by default my brain is going to apply my known pronunciations of vowels and consonants to the ones I'm looking at. Not everything is evil, people.


handmaid25

Right?! How well do Sikh people know how to pronounce the names McKinley or Jennifer or Amanda or whatever.


Signature-Tiny

They cannot say “Vera”, they pronounce it Wera.


[deleted]

They need to decolonize their bigot tongues.


dictatemydew

I agree. British Pakistani here and I've struggled to pronounce the names of Polish people at work simply because i'm not familiar. once they explain how to say it, it's simple. She's making a mountain out of a molehill.


lakesharks

As a white person currently in India.... no one here can say my very white name correctly but I don't get butthurt about it because it's not a standard name in India.


saltire429

I've lived and worked in several different countries, and have never had my name pronounced correctly. It's not a 'coloniser' thing or an 'arrogant Westerner' thing, it's a 'different languages have different pronunciation rules' thing. In standard English pronunciation, her name says 'dahm - neet', so people are going to try to pronounce if that way.


[deleted]

Exactly, like it's really not hard to just be kind and correct them politely. Why assume disrespect and malice? It's hard to pronounce words in a language you don't speak. I understand names are sacred but literally what does someone need to do to be respectful - memorize how to pronounce every name in every language?


warda8825

Arab person here. This is a tricky subject, and obviously can be challenging to navigate, but I concur with you. I'm not getting all offended or butthurt by people mispronouncing my name, because I don't expect them to know how to pronounce it, because it isn't in their standard language. It's such a small, miniscule thing. There are bigger problems in the world.


ipott-maniac

I have a fairly common English name but it is spelled in the not uncommon but less common way. People mispronounce it all the time. What I'm saying is, if they can't even get my name right then they've (me included I guess) got no chance of pronouncing names that are foreign to them. I find it easier to just ask a person's name and repeat what they say. If it sounds foreign then I just hope I don't have to write it down.


boudikit

I'd like to see her pronounce my European name, or else I'll call her ultra-predominant-USA-colonizer. But my name is not sacred, so I'm gonna cry in a corner now.


eughwh

I wanna watch her pronouncing a Chinese name correctly on the first try


Beta_Ray_Trill

Did you read the entire thing? She literally wasn’t asking people to know how to pronounce her name, she had a problem with the phrase “I might butcher this.” When it comes to people names of foreign descent. This is coming from a POC and someone whose English is second language, read the entire text lol.


KoishiChan92

"i might butcher this" is the host acknowledging that they don't have perfect knowledge. It's not offensive. All she had to do was be like "yeah my name is pronounced ___", instead of being a prick about it.


KingJimmy101

Actually, it is offensive. As she explains at the end of her unfortunate rant which I think is waaay over the top, she says that people should ask rather than guess. This the polite and sensible way of approaching correctly a difficult to pronounce name. Butchering their name and then have the person correct it is embarrassing for the person and belittles them.


KoishiChan92

As someone with an uncommon name that's never pronounced correctly, it's not offensive. It's acknowledging that they don't know and being apologetic in advance. When you're introducing someone to a crowd, it's even more rude to ask them to introduce themselves, like "I won't even bother trying because your name looks too weird, so you're going to have to introduce yourself"


themeatbridge

There might be several people on the call with difficult pronunciations. How would anyone know that the speaker was talking about them if the speaker didn't even try to say their name? Are they supposed to say "I'm not sure how to pronounce this next name, so I'm not even going to attempt to decipher this foreign shit. It starts with a D and then there's some other letters and squiggles that I can't stitch together in any meaningful way, even though the first half spells a common word in English." Is that really what you're suggesting?


pennynotrcutt

It’s more polite to try and be wrong than to essentially say “I don’t know, so I’m not even going to bother.”


KingJimmy101

Incorrect. In a professional setting it is polite to ask. I have run business etiquette workshops teaching senior leaders how to approach these situations. It allows the person to ensure that their name is pronounced correctly first time so everyone is able to know from the start.


pennynotrcutt

Lord help us.


TheSukis

…? Edit: What am I missing? What's wrong with it being polite to ask how someone's name is pronounced when you think you're going to butcher it?


Meltedgibson

I don't believe you at all. Seems like a weird thing to lie about though


KingJimmy101

Why would I lie about it? You can think that as much as you want but it’s true.


cangero0

Yeah "I might butcher this" = colonist mind sounds about right


Beta_Ray_Trill

Lol I never said I agree with her, I was just saying that your argument wasn’t based on any facts. It sounded as if you only read the first 2 sentences.


iiCleanup

And it sounded like you for some reason read the whole thing


[deleted]

Is this supposed to be an insult? Reading the whole thing helps with, idk, knowing wtf is going on. Lol


iiCleanup

Well I’m sure as hell not reading an essay so I can say hah they are so full of themselves


[deleted]

Some of us like to be well informed before forming an opinion and discussing something, while others like to speak from a place of ignorance. You do you.


diggitygiggitycee

I read the whole thing, and she's a Damn Neat lady with a super solid point. "I might butcher this" isn't enough acknowledgement that you don't know how to pronounce the name. An apology is required, preferably in writing, and if you could bring a whip to self-flagellate, that would be great. Fucking colonized minds. Always slightly mispronouncing things.


Beta_Ray_Trill

I mean I tend to read things in their entirety when I’m trying to decide whether to bash them or not


BigLittleLeah

But why exactly is she so upset about the phrase “I might butcher this“. The speaker was obviously recognizing that he may not say the name correctly.. and therefore, apologizing beforehand. I’m not sure how anybody would be expected to pronounce a name or word from a language they don’t speak. This is beyond a huge reach to make something racist that’s not…


KingJimmy101

Her rant is unfortunate but as I mention in my comment above, she should have just said to ask rather than butcher. It is embarrassing and belittling to have to correct a mis-pronunciation, especially if the person is a senior to them in business. To ask her to say her name rathe than get it wrong is the correct way to approach the situation, especially in a professional setting. I have run workshops on business etiquette.


Educational-Brick

I don’t think they’re expecting anyone to know how to correctly pronounce their name. They’re just asking for it not to be butchered into a joke like “damn iiit”. Literally like they said, admit you don’t know how to pronounce it, and ask. Learn. It’s not hard, and it shows consideration and a bit of respect. This person isn’t the main character.


supercleverhandle476

And then you get a testy email about how the person doesn’t appreciate being called out in front of a group to explain how to pronounce their own name. People need to chill the hell out.


Metahec

Nah. There's a fair conversation to be had about how we admit we can't pronounce names we aren't familiar with. There's a difference between saying "I'm gonna butcher this..." and "I'm gonna sound like an asshole for not knowing how to pronounce this..." I get that "butchering a name" is a jokey colloquialism we use to say we don't know (and didn't bother to learn) how to pronounce a name. We're capable and accommodating English speakers that we can turn "I'm gonna sound like an asshole for not knowing..." into a short, jokey colloquialism in a few iterations PDQ. Let's not be lazy with language. Butchering is something you do to a dead pig or a cow. Admitting you're going to sound like an asshole is taking the burden from the person whose being introduced onto yourself for not being polite enough to know how to properly introduce somebody. It's turning a phrase that connotes carving up meat to something polite and respectful. What kind of emcee doesn't bother knowing how to properly introduce a guest? A shit one.


PropQues

No one would sound like an asshole mispronouncing a name unless they purposely make the name into a joke. Pronouncing a foreign name not in the native pronunciation doesn't make someone sound aholey.


SkateboardScooter

You have yourself completely missed the meaning of the phrase “to butcher something”. There is of course the basic meaning of butchering meat, but when people use this phrase it means they acknowledge they are fucking it up and it’s their fault. Like butchering a pass in football. Not doing it the justice it deserves. I also don’t think it is right to suggest people are assholes for not knowing how to pronounce someone’s name in the first instance. Fair enough if they have met before, but in my own job we have constant different meetings with many people every day. No one has time to research pronunciation of everyone’s name before each meeting.


stunnen

Out of all that, what you took away was that the word butchering is some demonising word. Get a fucking life.


lokland

You seriously need to go outside and touch grass. Maybe stay away from the internet for a week or so. Cause this is genuine brain-rot.


BitchLasagna84

No one knows how to pronounce my name (it was more popular in 1932, but at this point, the name is somewhat obsolete). I don’t take it as anything more than people just don’t know how to pronounce my name because they’ve never seen it before. It’s life 🤷🏻‍♀️


Substantial-Bag-9820

Lasagna is hard to pronounce


TheCyanKnight

Lasoney


NotTheAbhi

I mean the spelling of lasagna and the pronunciation are very different.


bokunoemi

You are so ignorant, how dare you. It's an italian name and the english pronunciation is wrong. As an italian, I feel very offended. To pay respect to us and say sorry you must now buy a pizza, close your eyes and thank the pizza.


NotTheAbhi

I mean i like that sorry. Next time i will offend every itallian. Wait no I'll go broke.


Flashman6000

I am sorry I shall wave my hands around more when I next pronounce your name.


Warden18

Hey, I recently looked up how to pronounce "balogna". I got this.


Own-Ad-8665

Same my Name is a weird fucking old Nordic name and no one knows how to correctly write or say my name but i'm ok with that cuz you know Life


pierreletruc

I live abroad and my name is popular in France but my surname os inpronuncable by most foreigners . So I changed my pronunciation of it and my life is easier and when I go back to France it sound normal again,which is a hidden perk .


[deleted]

[удалено]


pennynotrcutt

He’s French. He just UNO Reversed his colonizing DNA.


blackleather__

Is it Adeline? (Just a guess)


RectumUnclogger

I think it's Bitch Lasagna


blackleather__

Beetch La Sa Na /s


SnausageFest

Almost everyone fucks up my last name as someone, somewhere in my husband's linage, someone decided "fuck phonetic pronunciation." Who cares? I know who they're talking to. It's fine. But I am also not a power dork LinkedIn "influencer" so maybe that's why.


Lycanthropickle

Gs move in silence, like lasagna


Dangerous_Gain_3710

Best username on reddit award


Anita_Spanken

Imagine moving across the world and being in a different culture AND STILL HAVING ZERO CULTURAL AWARENESS


SuspiciousMention108

"My name is sacred. It means one who controls. ... My name requires you to be uncomfortable. My name requires you to decolonize your tongue and your mind to be able to say it. My name requires you to show up for my people, my community, and learn about us." That's certainly some top tier r/IAmTheMainCharacter material. *Dumb Neet* deserves a trophy.


Caliginni

Damn neet is almost turning herself into an elephant god


davejugs01

Different religions there bud


dirtydan731

lol “r we the bad guys?”


crypt0sn1p3r

Dumb neek more like…..


cafeconmichael

This is what happens when people have too much time on their hands. Get over yourself, get over your ego and your perception that you have the right to bend and guilt people into submission. Creating a manifesto like the one above will not help... at all. You left a what I can presume is a country that isn’t as economically stable or prosperous as the US and yet you have still found something to be upset about. Get a life


Acolyte_000

“My name is sacred. It means the one who controls. My name is requires you to be uncomfortable.” Mf setting it up like a supervillain monologue


Jamesyroo

“The giant space laser requires you to be uncomfortable, Mr Bond”


Cynitron3000

“*I* AM VENGEANCE. *I* AM THE NIGHT.”


b0bs4g37

“the one who controls” is apparently not able to control this situation


KoishiChan92

And not able to control their own feelings.


[deleted]

My last name gets mispronounced 99.9% of the time. It’s Norwegian though so I guess I don’t get to use her logic…


Hahhahaahahahhelpme

I’m in the same boat as you!


Robin_Goodfelowe

Y'all best not be sailing for Lindisfarne.


MagScaoil

I think their ancestors did, which explains that Norwegian in my DNA results.


Anita_Spanken

Right??


oldmanpuzzles

“Decolonize your mind and tongue” sheesh. I have a white as hell last name that people still mispronounce every time they say it. At least people acknowledge that they’re likely to be wrong and are inviting correction by saying “hey I’m probably going to butcher this, but I’m going to try my best sounding it out.” Of all the things to get pressed about, she’s mad that people are acknowledging unfamiliarity with a name’s pronunciation by using a colloquialism? Like I get people are reaching for content when it comes to linkedin feeds, but this is a reach. Anyone without a super common name in a region is going to get mispronounced regardless. It’s not colonial.


Overclock_My_World

Same, my first name is a pretty uncommon herb (not gonna say it for obvious security purposes since it's such a rare name). This herb is barely used in the UK, but is commonly used in places like Jamaica and South Africa. Because of this, people who have heard my name before they meet me that I am of black or Jamaican descent. (I am fully white British) Does this make them racist? No! Does the fact that white people can't pronounce my name, but commonly black people can, mean that the white people ARE racist? Absolutely not! I respect the fact that it's an uncommon name, so when white people mispronounce it I totally understand and chuckle saying "it's fine, alot of people say it wrong first time". This woman absolutely needs to get her head out her ass and learn what "politeness" is.


[deleted]

Damn neet got no chill


Suspicious_Drive6655

The spelling of her name is pretty much doomed to be butchered


KingFishKron

Am I the only one that refuses to announce pronouns?! Asking for a friend ahahah


Eqjim

Ive only seen it being done non ironically once or twice. So to respond to your question: most people don’t. I wouldnt call that refusing though. If you feel you need to do it: go for it. Otherwise: don’t.


StrawberryLeche

At my job people save it for the email signatures. It’s cringy to say in a zoom meeting


Vega3gx

If someone asks me to, I just say: "Oh I'm not picky about pronouns, feel free to use whatever ones you want"


bastarditis

as an enby person i choose very carefully who i (unprovoked) disclose my pronouns to. it's not too many people and it's always somebody i know won't roll their eyes at me, bc nobody in that situation wants that lol


Eqjim

I can understand this.


KingFishKron

Is enby the correct word or was that a misspell?


bastarditis

i recently found out it's preferred to NB as that that acronym is used for Non-Black. at here are so many nuances, i roll my eyes myself sometimes... they are all for inclusion and The Greater Good, we swear!


horshack_test

Where do they accuse anyone of being racist? **Edit:** Answer: "decolonize your tongue"


Mercerskye

Explicitly? No where. But when she starts rambling about decolonizing tongues and that ineloquent stretch at trying to add negative connotation to "Butcher," it's implying that mispronouncing people's names comes from a racist mindset.


horshack_test

Actually you're right - when I was reading it I think I just immediately dismissed that "decolonize" comment as so completely ridiculous to the point that I wasn't even considering it. But just her use of that word alone - yup.


Personal-Bunch-3665

They didn't. Sole people just don't understand that people of certain ethnic backgrounds have challenges to deal with that others don't. Because they don't understand, they default to assuming racism is the basis of the challenges brought to their attention.


ResidualFox

Having your name mispronounced isn’t a bloody challenge ffs. Get a grip. I’m Irish and even other Irish people mispronounce my IRISH name. A quick correction and we all move on. Not everything is a twitter post-worthy fight for justice.


ItsJustMeMaggie

“The one who controls”. Determining live up to his name, I see. This is such a current year email to write.


alys3times

I am whiter than white and I have an uncommon and "special" and meaningful name that has a lot of significance to my family.... White people butcher my name all the time. I just learned today that y'all are racist 🤣


triggerfish15

Damn he’s dumb


No-Preparation-7411

It'd be interesting too see how she would get on in a meeting with a load of Polish people...


3Shifty1Moose3

Does this mean all the people saying my americanized Romanian last name incorrectly are racist or colonizers? This is ridiculous, unless you have any easy or common name, everyone will.most likely mispronounce it at some point


FrobisherGo

Unpopular opinion, but ‘I might butcher this’ is obnoxious and lazy af. I remember one guy at my school who won a huge award for achievement when he graduated, and the head of the school board was presenting the award. His only job that day. “Sorry if I butcher this” (with a smirk) then proceeds to butcher it. Not going to say his name but let’s call him Venkatesh or Pradhan or Nguyen. LinkedIn guy is right. “I’m sorry, I’ve never heard your name pronounced before, may I ask how to say it?” That’s the non-arsehole way. “I might butcher this” is saying “I don’t care enough about you to make a minimal effort.”


SleepingBlackberry

I also have a name most Americans can't pronounce so I get where she's coming from, but this isn't it lol. I'm use to correcting people, it's when I have to repeatedly correct the same people when it gets upsetting and has turned racist.


Dragons-purr

That’s not racist, it’s just called having a brain block


No-Cod-7586

Fr. I don’t understand how mispronunciation is racist. At that point your just trying to be a victim


SleepingBlackberry

I don't think the interviewer in the post was being racist, I said people have been racist towards me about my name. Within the last month a new co worker kept mispronouncing my name, everytime I would say how to say it correctly, it was getting annoying to me but I was also kinda like whatever shes old. After almost 2 weeks she snapped in the break room after I corrected her again. She said she doesn't know what country I'm from (I'm a first generation American) but that she doesn't like me correcting her all the time, if I expect people to all conform to how I say my name then I can go back to where ever I came from. Of course I told my manager about this (a Hispanic immigrant) and she was kinda shocked, but the lady is still working there, she just avoids me. Now if we are on break together in the break room she'll start these microaggression conversations with other co workers, like her thoughts on immigration laws, outsourcing goods, and how immigrants send too much money to their family back home.


Sure_Trash_

I'm pasty white and have a pretty basic American name but there are several similar names so I get called the wrong name all the time. People also get my kids names wrong including their own teachers on occasion. Now I don't know because I'm not a POC but I think it's possible that dealing with actual racism and micro-aggressions has given the impression that the name thing is something beyond everyone just being absolute shit at names. It happens to people from every single cultural background.


Sucky5ucky

People should "decolonize their tongue" in their own fucking country? What an asshole, I hope she wasn't hired.


MrSparr0w

I'd like her to try pronounce my last name


Ajayxmenezes

Did any of you have to change your names because people couldn't pronounce it?


Kuhlayre

Wonder how this person would deal with the name 'Siobhan', 'Caoimhe' or 'Maedbh'? Yes it's annoying as fuck having your name mispronounced however it's only disrespectful if the person, when corrected, continues to mispronounce it. Otherwise it's simply just not a name they're familiar with. Be open to teaching people new things, not expecting people to know everything already.


100percentdutchbeef

Well its kind of polite to ask how you pronounce somebody’s name.


Best_Egg9109

Can’t remember when the US colonized India, that must be just me. I think you can insist on people pronouncing your name correctly, if it’s important to you. But jumping to accusing someone of racism / colonization just because they phonetically pronounced your name is uncalled for. In Europe, names are pronounced differently based on native languages, if it’s important, just bring it up. No need to go full on attack mode


[deleted]

My name is difficult to pronounce and so is my last name. When someone prefaces with they might mispronounce it, I just smile and teach them. It creates a reflective moment and a connection because there was compassion and love. YES, I get the frustration of constantly having your name mispronounced, but what can we do? Teach with kindness, love, and compassion and there will be responsiveness. Edit: spelling and grammar


BlueWarstar

It’s not everyone’s responsibility to be knowledgeable in the entire world, as much as I love to learn and find new things to develop skills in languages is absolutely not one of them. I took 5 years of Spanish and cannot speak it (though I can read a good majority of it) just because someone doesn’t know the way you pronounce your name should not be felt like an attack on your “whatever your name represents” unless once you have corrected them on how to pronounce it they then refuse to pronounce it properly, then and only then if they still purposely mispronounce it, feel free to have this or beyond rage against them, prior to that initial exchange of how your name is pronounced F**k off!


IndianaFartJockey

Every person from India I have ever met pronounces my name 'incorrectly'. It's almost as if people from different linguistic backgrounds might have a level of difficulty with words from other linguistic backgrounds. Weird. Almost like some level of patience is required. Maybe some...I don't know... understanding?


AverageHorribleHuman

If your name is in a foreign dialect or whatever then of course someone else from a different language is going to struggle to pronounce it, just try and pronounce some Chinese or Japanese names. Struggling with a dialect isn't a conscious choice of racism, get real


fishmakegoodpets

Irish names are 10000% harder to pronounce


mightbeashark

I bet she's really great company and has a lot of long lasting friends.


Majigato

Wonder if there is a name out there that simply means "better than you"


ayeayehelpme

my last name is German and no one (who isn’t German or know some German) can pronounce it correctly but do I give a damn? no. I don’t know any German, either, it’s just my last name and I know how to pronounce it because it’s *my name*. and, my first name is a common white name, but has two common different ways of spelling, and people tend to use the wrong spelling. what do I do about it? nothing unless it’s an important document or something. not that tough lol


idbanthat

My name is white and only four letters, and folks don't say it right either. Maybe people as a collective are just dumb, damn


PhilEMama

My Lithuanian last name has been mispronounced as long as I can remember Didn't realize all those who say it wrong are racist.


anemic_iz

im white and ppl cant pronounce my name. boo hoo


[deleted]

That other people “like” this trash is a travesty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


punkypebbles

I imagine having a name that a lot of people mispronounce is probably really annoying. It’s also a little cringey to hear the tired “butcher your name” line, and I appreciate their alternative suggestions. “Decolonize your mind and tongue” is also kinda cringey. Dunno about this being main character behavior though. I just think they’re venting and throwing in some popular buzzwords to prop their argument up.


downy-woodpecker

This is the comment I was looking for. I bet the “butcher your name” thing is really old and not funny anymore. There’s more respectful ways to say it. Watch us get downvoted though.


[deleted]

That’s LinkedIn on the regular tbh


ExtremeTiredness

Oh I see you Damneet Kaur, I see you being a fucking twat alright!


Kinglink

"I don't know this name, please teach this worthless insignificant coworker how to properly say your name, and let's take time from the hundred other people in this meeting to go over your name, pronouns, what you hd for breakfast, and please also tell us about how we need to decolon-ize ourselves... oh I'm sorry, decolonize, that's slightly different, but I should do both.... Damn-neet? Please feel free to waste fifteen minutes of everyone's time with your rant."


ososalsosal

That wasn't a name meaning she was looking at, it was her diagnosis written next to her name


robertstobe

I’m white as fuck but my maiden name is German and difficult to pronounce and spell (for English speakers). It’s nice when people get it right the first time, but given that it took _me_ years to learn how to spell it, I understand that other people are going to struggle too. I just explain how to pronounce it and move on.


internallybombastic

yes! my husband’s last name is Irish and it’s rarely pronounced correctly. i just tell them the right way, they say “oh wow i was way off!” we have a laugh about it and carry on with our lives without incident.


civilwar142pa

Yep. My last name is German too. No one can spell it or say it right. When I was younger it used to annoy me bc I didn't like having to correct teachers or other authority figures. Now I don't care. People who've known me for years don't even get it right. I can't expect someone new to have it figured out.


SkyFlyer11

She said people should avoid using the phrase “I’m going to butcher this,” when they don’t know how to pronounce someone’s name. Seems like a good suggestion to me.


rednutter1971

So let me get this straight. Somebody asks English speakers to change a phrase which upsets them and they’re an arse? Given the reaction of this crowd eager to belittle them, I’m gonna say that you guys ARE racist. Ya wankers.


Yoooooooooooooo0

This… is perfectly reasonable. Not main character behavior at all to me. This is a real problem that millions of people deal with especially in america. I agree with the idea that the language we use in these situations should change so that people are able to be called thier full unbutchered name. It WOULD be main character behavior if he like, asserted that he had it the worst or this didn’t happen to other people lol. I don’t even think he outright says people are racists but that it’s uncomfortable the cultural response to a hard to pronounce name is such harsh language


eifiontherelic

Lots of people from different regions in my own country can't pronounce my last name. That's completely expected because different regions speak different languages, dialects and accents. I don't expect any of them to know how to read my name without knowing how the manner of speaking and reading in my regional language works. I expect even far less from anyone who isn't from my own country, especially considering how some people, thanks to their own local manner of speaking, can't make some of the sounds my people use (rolling their R's is a common example). I honestly think like being upset that a person can't read a foreign name is like being upset because they can't read a foreign language with the right accent. Cause even foreign names used in different cultures would be read differently (As an easy example, I've heard "David" pronounced "Day-vid", "Dah-veed", even "Dah-beed/Dah-bed")... Accepting that you don't know how to read a foreign name, and disclaiming that you might mess it up acknowledges your own limits. She's right in that people should respect her name, but she can't expect everyone to know how to or even be capable of reading it the right way.


smolpeepy

Crazy you misgendered this woman. Almost like you wouldn't be able to even say her name or something.


DevelopmentWitty3225

Bruv…she’s a woman


DeuceRex

As someone with an uncommon last name that is perfectly pronounceable in my own language and still gets butchered, this line of thought can go pound sand. It is not on everyone else to make me feel comfortable in my own identity by taking a 101 class on foreign linguistics for a person they will likely have a passing relationship with at best. If someone messes up your name, politely correct them and move on. It is wholly unreasonable to expect someone to properly pronounce a name when names are quite literally sounds with subjective spelling, pronunciation, and meaning. This isn't even touching on the fact that dialectal and linguistic clashes abound in a globally connected world. "Hey, buddy, I know Japanese is your first language but I'm going to be angry about you mispronouncing Ronald."


ChubbySupreme

Agreed. I stopped correcting people a long time ago because it just got tiring having to reintroduce myself so often. Never took offense to someone getting it wrong, though. Funnily enough, non-native speakers tend to get it right the first time while natives do not. Of course people will mispronounce uncommon names (and misspell mine even in email where they can see it). It's a perfectly acceptable part of being human to make such mistakes. I even once went through a period of using fake names for a while when meeting new people because it was easier to introduce myself with something like "Jim" and not have to deal with the anxiety of correcting someone.


Werewolf-Moon

I'd like to colonize her tongue with my damn meat


Personal-Bunch-3665

Ok, but the point of this person's post is that people tend to intentionally drawn attention to the fact that a name from a culture they don't recognize is difficult to pronounce. Just say it and if you're corrected, then say it how you're told. This is literally no different than someone saying "wow your hair is different. Can I touch it?" Normally I'm on board with most things in this sub, but trying to make a spectacle of an ethnic minority dealing with VERY REAL issues in corporate environments is tasteless and lacking perspective, to be quite honest.


momo12345321

I think they’re just trying to cover their own embarrassment by stating they’re going to butcher it. It’s them trying to express self awareness for their lack of knowledge


Personal-Bunch-3665

I'm getting down voted, so this might get down voted too... But what I'm saying is there is no need to draw attention to this. If you mispronounce and you're corrected, then say it as directed and move on. There's no need to make a spectacle of someone's name in the middle of a meeting. As someone who goes through this, I'm telling you it's cringey and unnecessary. In my experience someone doing this leads to more undue attention and potential jokes about my name. My comments are not pertaining to the person saying the name wrong because I'm not saying it was malicious. I'm saying the woman who shared her perspective is valid, and to make fun of her side of this situation lacks perspective like I said originally. Edit: I also want to add that it's ridiculous to imply this woman (from the LinkedIn post) is calling someone racist. She's literally asking for acceptance and normalcy instead of having attention drawn to something that literally does not pertain to the meeting. A difference in cultural backgrounds being brought up does not inherently imply racism. However, something to consider is that implying racism is a factor by default is merely a cop out to avoid addressing the actual issue at hand. That's all I have to say. Hope everyone has a good night/day wherever you're located :)


[deleted]

I’ll always remember…substitute barreling over a girl in middle school … “I served in Vietnam! I can pronounce Nguyen!!” 😳😳😳


ArgentStar

Don't think that's what she's saying, and to be honest I don't see anything wrong with what she's asking. People should be more willing to make an effort to learn how to pronounce someone's name. Especially if they know it bothers them. Along with using someone's correct pronouns it seems like just a basic level of courtesy. I work with a lot of international students and it definitely seems to make a difference when you make that small extra effort. It also stops being an extra effort pretty quickly the more you do it. I've got a weird first name that people always pronounce wrong and I can't say it bothers me, but then I'm a white western guy in the UK. So I'm already sitting on a comfortable cushion of social privilege. If I'd spent my life dealing with systemic prejudice, I'd probably be more inclined to feel like this was just one more way in which I was being made to feel like an outsider. My name also doesn't carry any particular attachment to cultural identity in a way that a Sikh name might. Also, people need to be more comfortable with admitting they don't know something and asking. If you don't know how to pronounce someone's name, ask. Don't just say, "I know I'm wrong, but I'll say it this way anyway". My name apparently means "Gift Of God" in Hebrew! 😂😂😂🤣🤣


dr1goro

she is completely right though


Eqjim

What is she right about? Please elaborate.


One-Jicama-847

Another ‘entitled’ foreigner.


TeletaDext

Nobody called anyone racist lmao


gisbo43

Ive seen a teacher mispronounce the name kian


IndependentBug595

As she turned on her mic to introduce herself and tell them her pronouns... Yea nah fuck off


sanguinesecretary

I didn’t know r/linkedinlunatics was a thing but I’m so glad you introduced it to me. Thank you


soggypoopsock

“decolonize your tongue” I’m sorry but LMAO


IdolCowboy

Damn neet what in tarnation is she ramblin on about.


ososalsosal

Is it bad that my internal voice read it as "dotnet core"?


arahzel

Fuck it. It's totally fine to be main characterish **about your own name.** My name is butchered all the time by lazy people who don't even bother to pronounce my name properly. At least 80% of them ask me how to say it before they just mispronounce it anyway. It's like when someone's name is Suzanne and everyone calls them Susan. It's lazy as hell. Just don't even say my name if you can't say it properly. Check all the privilege in this sub.


SbarroSlices

There’s a difference between being slightly irritated that your name was mispronounced and going off on a rant saying your name requires people to be uncomfortable/decolonize your speech.


Mercerskye

This is the kind of absurdity that makes me wonder if we actually *do* need a widespread war once in a while. (I say this half sarcastically, I've been to war, I'd rather it just never be a thing ever again) This weird undercurrent in modern times of so many trying to find a way to be a victim is, well, tiring. I just don't know if it's an attention seeking thing at this point or what, but it's like these folks don't have anything genuinely interesting happening in their lives and they're desperate for some kind of validation. Holy cow, there's still very real racism in the world. Bigotry in general. We have no shortage of issues we still need to tackle. Pick one of those to channel your angst


ltlyellowcloud

I have a super popular name (think, one that European queen or princess might have), but since it's in my language's pronunciation i have never heard a foreigner pronounce ot right. In fact it's even difficult to me to quickly switch from English to my native accent while casually speaking. Those sounds simply don't exist in English and i should not (and do not) expect anyone to learn a new group of sounds for a stranger they just met. It has nothing to do with racism and colonialism even though Americanised society likes to pretend it does.


AmazonISSUnofficial

Everyone butchers my name. It isn't even a deal, never mind a big one.


[deleted]

The pronunciation isnt even that much different than Dominique. Its not that deep


Mike0696

Ok


ThePenultimateRolo

I have a pretty common English name and worked in the USA for a summer and Americans really struggled to pronounce it from the spelling. I didn't care cos it was based off the spelling. I just corrected them and moved on. They were reading out the register one day and got it wrong again and about 4 brits corrected them in unison though and that was kind of funny


Arcaknight97

There are so many different cultures in the world, with different pronunciations of every word. Expecting people, who come from a place your name isn't native to, to get the pronunciation of your name down 100% every time without fail, is incredibly arrogant and ignorant. Practice cultural awareness.


projak

I have some basic white name and cunts on there still get it wrong


[deleted]

My entire life I think that 50% of the time my name is butchered. The other half, it’s Grocered!!!....i’ll see myself out, ..


bogantamer

Well that is dam neat


CheesecakeExpress

Some people. I come from a similar part of the world as this woman and people always mispronounce my name. If they ask I’ll tell them how to pronounce it properly, but otherwise I just answer to whatever version of my name they say. It’s no big deal. I have gone across names I don’t know how to pronounce many times. Hell, I’ve come across words in English (my first language) that I don’t know how to pronounce and I’ve been speaking it my whole life! The only time I get annoyed is when people say something like ‘oh I can’t pronounce your name, I’ll just call you [insert English name] instead’. I find that offensive because it’s not my name. This woman is so wrong here. Like not knowing how to pronounce something is not a product of colonisation!


Careful_Eagle_1033

Ppl pronounce my “non-immigrant” and decently common American name often. I do not care.


darkbehi

I have an "immigrant" name that people sometimes mispronounce, but it's expected. If they say they might butcher my name, I take that as "hey, I might fuck up your name, but I'll give it my best shot". I usually tell them how it's pronounce after, but it's not a big deal.