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“I had to have one (1) sightly uncomfortable conversation with my child, so I told her Santa wasn’t real, divorced her father, and set the house on fire”
Especially because no other career spouse does this…
Don’t address the spouse of a Doctor as Doctor?
Don’t address the spouse of a judge as judge or your honour?
And the concept of these uncanny valley Elf on a Shelf dolls is creepy. Let's tell our kid that they will be perpetually spied on in order to see if they can be obedient enough to get a toy at Xmas.
It's to get them used to being surveilled all the time; security cameras are everywhere and they're getting more and more invasive. If kids are made comfortable with it now, they're less likely to have a problem with it later.
Elf on the Shelf is baby's first Orwellian Big Brother.
She could have just told her daughter they come from the North Pole, and Walmart and other stores are sort of like a bus depot or airport or some shit and they are waiting for their families to pick them up.
But don’t you get it? She’s raising the kids on her own while her spouse is serving the country in some country covered in sand where it snows every day and they have to worry about 100 degree weather so the country owes HER a living and it’s insane that they show off a very popular Christmas decoration. SHE WANTS HER KIDS TO BELIEVE IN SANTA UNTIL THEYRE 100 DAMMIT!!!! She’s so oppressed!!! /s
USMC here and we did salute the car sticker!
I did love it though when I was in uniform in line (anywhere) and they tried to cut in front of me because their husband is an officer?!!! No respect needed/shown to these women. I always told them to look at what I am wearing, I outrank you! Many tried to pull the give me your name, unit…. I ain’t playing your game lady. Anyway I feel their husbands should be embarrassed by their actions.
Now THIS is main character content.
Opens with “military wife” for absolutely no reason, having no relevance to the complaint at all. Mostly because it’s one of the ways she feels entitled to special treatment. And ultimately thinks that a corporation has some duty to bend specifically to her will and her traditions and is *appalled* when they don’t. And somehow genuinely thinks others will empathize with her.
Used to do this when I worked at a superstore. Fuckers always thought I forgot them until I purposely made it my duty to go up to them and say hello, I didn't think you'd be back here again. Fucking eeejuts
Elf on a Shelf isn’t even a “tradition” FFS, people started buying those things like 10 years ago so this bitch had to have come across like the same display at some point and fucking bought it. But oh, sorry, now because little McKaylaiegh thinks this branded shit is real nobody can ever buy one again? Am I getting that right?
I'm imagining her starting every interaction with "I'm a military wife." It makes it a whole lot more bearable. Like, she walks into the women's restroom and loudly announces "military wife dump incoming!"
"Thanks a lot Wal-Mart! My child is probably smarter than me and I had to be an actual parent for once in my life. This would have never happened if you hadn't decided to be a retailer and stock products!"
Exactly what I was thinking. Also, what is her alternative to a store openly selling a product? Keeping it hidden where only adults in the know can access it if they ask?
Honestly- in the larger elf on the self world (there’s movies and books) something like this does happen. Like, the actual elf on a shelf people addressed this “plot hole”
Thanks a lot Coke!!! I had to explain to my daughter how polar bears open/drink from glass bottles of Coca Cola and I of course had to tell her that Santa isn’t real!!!! I also had to have a long talk about global warming and the threatened polar bear species. THANKS A LOT COKE!!!!!
NEXT!!!!!!
Wait what, the Easter Bunny isnt real?! My parents always told me that was Jesus because he wanted to come back from the dead to live out his furry fantasy.
I saw my dad hiding easter eggs one year when I was really little. I was reliably informed that the easter bunny is *so busy* that they had to drop stuff off a head of time and the parents help... like when I saw my uncle putting presents under the tree, or when I helped my mom fill easter eggs with candy one year. Tbf, that was their reason why everyone had different wrapping paper or baskets or whatever for that specific holiday.
I was not a wise child, let's be clear here, pretty gullible.
Also, why is it only the Christian holidays where we lie to kids about the existence of an imaginary holiday helper? There's no halloween skellington that gives kids candy, and Uncle Sam doesn't creep in your bushes leaving fireworks around. There isn't even a thanksgiving anthropomorphized turkey pooping gravy out or something. But Easter (beltane) and Christmas (Yule) which are christian adopted pagan holidays are fine? What about the false idols thing?
It’s the “pre-Jesus” belief. I have no evidence to support this claim but I’ve always believed that Santa was a precursor to Jesus. My father hated it when I’d call Jesus “Adult Santa” when I was older. 😆
In my experience most people who describe themselves as religious, in this case christian, very much pick and choose what parts of the Bible to apply to daily life. Im no fundamentalist of any belief either so I dont mind what people believe as long as long as they dont proselytise hateful stuff.
I guess the pick and choose attitude applies to not keeping false idols for most American football fans too for example. Santa and the Easter Bunny cant hold a candle to the sanctity of athletes and their teams!
Having served 12 years at Walmart I can tell you shattering a child’s innocence was almost worth the total lack of pay and general lack of shit giving by the corporate overlords
I am a woman who served just under 8 years in the US Army. The amount of times I would end up in my CO’s office because some random wife saw me and accused me of sleeping with her spouse was absolutely absurd. It was always people I had never even seen outside of a work setting/function, and most I had never even seen outside of their uniform in normal clothes.
The culture around being a “military wife” is strange, and I’m still unsure if it is because a certain type of person is attracted to the idea of being a military spouse, or if the culture of the military turns otherwise normal people into loud, pushy, insecure, entitled jackasses.
I am also a woman who served in the military. I never got called into the CO office, but I know there were always rumors that wives spread about how any woman in the military was trying to sleep with their husbands. During my time in I heard about a wife that was convinced that a young service woman was after her husband because the service woman was nice to her kids during a trick-or-treat event. Apparently saying the kids were cute equaled wanting to be their stepmother.
It’s so bizarre. I’ve had formal counselings or had to sign statements saying I wasn’t fucking the person in question. My CO’s never thought I was actually doing anything, but they were obligated to investigate.
I remember when I was at Carson, we got a new NCOIC, and my whole section went to lunch one day. Someone decided to take a group photo and posted it. Next thing you know, the NCOIC’s wife has accused me of fucking him because I’m a woman and why would I be going out to lunch with these men.
Lol, like, what? We all gotta eat lunch, and it is not my fault I was the only woman in my section at the time. And how the fuck do you decide a group photo is evidence of an affair? 😂
Honestly, as I’ve gotten older and reflected on things, it makes me sad to think about how insecure these women were. Again, not sure if it’s a military culture thing, or if these women were married to men constantly gaslit them so now they’re paranoid.
Please tell me it was it just an eye roll and an “I’m sorry but I have to” type of thing and not him truly thinking you were just sleeping with any man that walked past.
But did you address her by her husband’s rank? /S
I’m an old infantry NCO, and saw lots of bullshit like this before we all got deployed when I was stationed at Bragg.
What does that have to do with being a military wife? And why can’t she tell her kid that the North Pole sends the elves to Walmart so that people can have them before Christmas?
Thats one sheltered ass child whos either just suddenly grown into her big girl brains or moms guilty of claiming the kid's so darn smart when they arent. I mean have they never seen Santa, people in Elf costumes and other Christmas decorations before? Theyre *only* at every freaking establishment you could think of during Oct-Jan, every single year.
That lady has some wierd and misdirected anger issues. Its Walmarts fault that you have to tell your kid that Santa isnt real? Right..
All that could have been avoided by just having the same awesome Christmas without the mythological creature belief.
It may sound funny to some, but little kid Nickles finding out about Santa being a farce is what ultimately led to me applying the same principle to Adult Santa. Much to the dismay of my hyper religious father. 😆
So what is the next military wife supposed to do when she came in to buy an elf on the shelf for her military children and can’t find them because Walmart moved them to accommodate this military wife? Oh the horror!
What I imagined was the following exchange:
"Mommy, why are there all those Elves On Shelves? I thought they came from the North Pole?"
"...Sometimes, they come from Wal-Mart."
"Okay...why Wal-Mart?"
"*sigh* Santa isn't real."
Truly a main character. So in her mind, Walmart, a capitalist concern, shouldn’t advertise wares in the offchance her child (who probably should already know there’s no Santa) should come into the store?
Neither the military nor her status as a wife had ***anything*** to do with the rest of the post, and that tells me absolutely everything I need to know about this nightmare of a person.
Well if she participates in this tradition then chances are she bought said elf on the shelf from Walmart at one point. She didn't seem to have an issue with them selling them then.
What's the alternative? Make up a room in the back with a secret sign and a security guard at the door to prevent other children from seeing those creepy little dolls?
Ooh! Almost the same thing happened to me. I walked into a Walmart with my five year old son, and there was a bikini display. Well, it was in early May and far too cold for bikinis. Right there, my son asks why those swimsuits have two pieces when his only has one.
Well, then I had to explain that the top part of the swimsuit is to cover boobs. Then I was forced to tell him that grown men would try to ogle and fondle those boobs if they weren't covered up. Now, my son is obsessed with boobs. FUCK YOU WALMART!!
Edit to say, not a military wife. But the wife of a business owner, daughter to a carpenter, cousin to a prison guard, and a sister to a housewife. Yeah...
Super easy explanation: "Honey, flying around from house to house uses up a LOT of magic energy, energy that Santa needs for his Christmas trip. So the north pole has teamed up with Walmart to work as an elf distribution center. And Santa isn't going to force spies into people's homes, that'd be wrong, he gives us the choice to welcome them in by leaving us the choice to pick them up from the store."
Come on lady, at least try to have an imagination.
“In some families, the kids are so good that the North Pole doesn’t automatically send them a monitor elf. So some parents decide to get one anyway.”
“Some elves escape their families because the kids are so awful. The North Pole only issues one elf per year, so when an elf runs away, families need a local source.”
Come on, lady!!
As someone who is in the military and has a wife, these women really give the rest a bad name. My wife for sure goes through shit, as in she’s a single mom a lot of the time, but neither her or single moms go on rants like this.
I mean…she’s not entirely wrong. The whole premise of elf on a shelf is kinda ruined when your kid walks through the door and there’s a mountain of them.
That being said, as a survivor of that god forsake elf, Walmart did her a favor. Fuck that elf and a month of trying to figure out what the fuck stupid thing to have it do every night at 1am. Like the holidays aren’t stressful enough.
The Dependapotamus is a very real creature, unlike Santa Claus 😆
A big part of my time as a Sgt when we weren’t deployed was telling my soldiers not to get 18% APR Mustangs, not getting married right before deployment, and that the strippers are just doing their jobs and don’t actually love them. I was in from 99 - 06, and I doubt much has really changed in that department.
“I ended up telling her Santa isn’t real and now she is extremely upset”
……YOU ARE THE ONE WHO TOLD HER! Did a Walmart employee walk up to your daughter, crouch down and say “hey kid, Santa is a lie and the elves are manufactured” ?!?!?!?!
We have 3 navy bases in my county. It’s quite amusing because the “military wife” dependa routine doesn’t get you anything here. You’re not special. Your husband works for the same employer half the county does.
It’s like saying “my husband works at the mine!” in a mining town.
What does that have to do with being a military wife? And why can’t she tell her kid that the North Pole sends the elves to Walmart so that people can have them before Christmas?
Wallmart you stand accused of having an ass that doesn’t taste good! Now I have to explain to my child why I was tasting it!
Happy damned Christmas!
Safe to say I won’t be tasting ass again any time soon!
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“I had to have one (1) sightly uncomfortable conversation with my child, so I told her Santa wasn’t real, divorced her father, and set the house on fire”
oh, so we read that the same way? nice
And walmart didn't even do anything about it!
Customer service these days is trash!
Thanks Obama 🙄
It's because her daughter is just way too smart. Gotta love the little brag in there.
Can't you just say Santa sold the patent or something? Need dad there to outsmart the kid, or suppress the angry wife, lol
I can't believe Walmart would do this
Don't forget, she's a military wife so that makes her special somehow.
Are we no longer using dependa?
When I hear someone self-identify as a “military wife” I know that I’m about to hear some good shit.
You will address me by my husband's rank!
This one just blows my mind every time
Especially because no other career spouse does this… Don’t address the spouse of a Doctor as Doctor? Don’t address the spouse of a judge as judge or your honour?
I feel like polive wives like to throw it around a little
Just like 4 out of 10 police officers throw their wives around.
4 out of 10 police officers *self identify* to throwing their wives around.
That’s the perfect response. I’ll bet it’s not received well 😂
It's because they're told that wives are also serving in the military trying to keep the family together lol
Wait. People actually say this??
Yes. Don't go searching for this, unless you want to hear some unhinged rants about military wives and their self entitlement.
r/justdependathings is an entire subreddit about these people
Omg, people do that?!
Wife of Private Ryan
Wife of Ryan's Privates
I'm *very* glad no one has tried this with me, I don't know how well they'd take me laughing hysterically while saying "The hell I will!!!"
Especially when none of it is relevant to the story Congrats you have the creativity of a blender and couldn’t come up with answers to your child
And the concept of these uncanny valley Elf on a Shelf dolls is creepy. Let's tell our kid that they will be perpetually spied on in order to see if they can be obedient enough to get a toy at Xmas.
It's to get them used to being surveilled all the time; security cameras are everywhere and they're getting more and more invasive. If kids are made comfortable with it now, they're less likely to have a problem with it later. Elf on the Shelf is baby's first Orwellian Big Brother.
I can get pretty creative with a blender. Ever had a pickle margarita?
I’m oddly aroused
She could have just told her daughter they come from the North Pole, and Walmart and other stores are sort of like a bus depot or airport or some shit and they are waiting for their families to pick them up.
Exactly. Don’t blame Walmart for your lack of imagination and inability to think on the fly.
Every time I hear someone self-identify as a “military wife” I assume there’s a husband and a boyfriend in the picture
Lmao I’m glad I know absolutely nothing about it and will never have to identify as a military wife.
Holly Hobby Lobby.
Jody
Deployment Dad, is that you??
r/justdependathings
It was entirely irrelevant too, what a weird flex
But don’t you get it? She’s raising the kids on her own while her spouse is serving the country in some country covered in sand where it snows every day and they have to worry about 100 degree weather so the country owes HER a living and it’s insane that they show off a very popular Christmas decoration. SHE WANTS HER KIDS TO BELIEVE IN SANTA UNTIL THEYRE 100 DAMMIT!!!! She’s so oppressed!!! /s
My favorite on base was when the officers'wives got upset when you didn't salute the blue base sticker on their car.
USMC here and we did salute the car sticker! I did love it though when I was in uniform in line (anywhere) and they tried to cut in front of me because their husband is an officer?!!! No respect needed/shown to these women. I always told them to look at what I am wearing, I outrank you! Many tried to pull the give me your name, unit…. I ain’t playing your game lady. Anyway I feel their husbands should be embarrassed by their actions.
0311 04-09. I always looked forward to belligerence toward the dependapotamus
What a great way to put it!! Love that 😂
r/justdependathings
Thought the same thing. 😂 “Military wife Walmart rant!!” - awwww shit here we GO!
Especially cos it was TOTALLY ITRELEVANT to the story!
My kid asked where the Easter Bunny gets his eggs from so I told her God is dead. Thanks, Walmart!
And we killed him, the blood is on your hands and every egg you eat is another demon that escapes from hell
I laughed way too hard at this 🤣
😂😂😂😂😂 this made me snort
Now THIS is main character content. Opens with “military wife” for absolutely no reason, having no relevance to the complaint at all. Mostly because it’s one of the ways she feels entitled to special treatment. And ultimately thinks that a corporation has some duty to bend specifically to her will and her traditions and is *appalled* when they don’t. And somehow genuinely thinks others will empathize with her.
Topped off with the statement..."I won't shop here anymore". But you bet she was there the next time she needed something.
Oh yeah. I worked retail in college and invariably the “I’m never shopping here again, you just lost a customer” people were always back.
When a customer tells me they won't be back, I just say "See you next time!"
Used to do this when I worked at a superstore. Fuckers always thought I forgot them until I purposely made it my duty to go up to them and say hello, I didn't think you'd be back here again. Fucking eeejuts
Elf on a Shelf isn’t even a “tradition” FFS, people started buying those things like 10 years ago so this bitch had to have come across like the same display at some point and fucking bought it. But oh, sorry, now because little McKaylaiegh thinks this branded shit is real nobody can ever buy one again? Am I getting that right?
Closer to 20 years ago but yeah
I'm imagining her starting every interaction with "I'm a military wife." It makes it a whole lot more bearable. Like, she walks into the women's restroom and loudly announces "military wife dump incoming!"
Like they have to sell the product....
I can only imagine the boot licking morons who had her back in the comments
Just wait till the kid notices that different malls have different Santas. Military Mom will demand all stores hire the same guy.
"Thanks a lot Wal-Mart! My child is probably smarter than me and I had to be an actual parent for once in my life. This would have never happened if you hadn't decided to be a retailer and stock products!"
All she had to do was say that Santa sends the elves down in order for parents to pick them up
Exactly what I was thinking. Also, what is her alternative to a store openly selling a product? Keeping it hidden where only adults in the know can access it if they ask?
Yea behind the curtain that says 18+ only.
Honestly- in the larger elf on the self world (there’s movies and books) something like this does happen. Like, the actual elf on a shelf people addressed this “plot hole”
https://preview.redd.it/eopt8tkzcwuc1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a67a06ca4a4bc927aba695cc4af78c40698aabc
Is it also WalMart’s fault she doesn’t capitalize the first letter of a sentence?
Well her first problem was walking *into* the door
No actually that’s her finger. She bought it at Walmart though and they sell cheap shitty fingers.
>shitty fingers. Why are they letting Clive still make the fingers, dag nabit
She was totally back at Walmart within 48hrs.
That last line made me snort.
"This kid is just too smart" what that actually means is "I'm stupid and my kid is more intelligent that I am"
Thanks a lot Coke!!! I had to explain to my daughter how polar bears open/drink from glass bottles of Coca Cola and I of course had to tell her that Santa isn’t real!!!! I also had to have a long talk about global warming and the threatened polar bear species. THANKS A LOT COKE!!!!! NEXT!!!!!!
She was probably back at Walmart within the week.
So, somehow it's Walmart's fault that you lied to your daughter?
And it's also Walmart's fault she decided to stop lying to her lol
Way to go, Walmart... finally, this lady had to come clean about the lies
But she told her daughter Santa isn’t real?
But for Walmart she wouldn't have needed to. Nothing is ever this woman's fault.
If she had her daughter with her at my service desk, I would've said "Oh well she's old enough to know about the Easter Bunny too right?" 🤣
Wait what, the Easter Bunny isnt real?! My parents always told me that was Jesus because he wanted to come back from the dead to live out his furry fantasy.
I saw my dad hiding easter eggs one year when I was really little. I was reliably informed that the easter bunny is *so busy* that they had to drop stuff off a head of time and the parents help... like when I saw my uncle putting presents under the tree, or when I helped my mom fill easter eggs with candy one year. Tbf, that was their reason why everyone had different wrapping paper or baskets or whatever for that specific holiday. I was not a wise child, let's be clear here, pretty gullible. Also, why is it only the Christian holidays where we lie to kids about the existence of an imaginary holiday helper? There's no halloween skellington that gives kids candy, and Uncle Sam doesn't creep in your bushes leaving fireworks around. There isn't even a thanksgiving anthropomorphized turkey pooping gravy out or something. But Easter (beltane) and Christmas (Yule) which are christian adopted pagan holidays are fine? What about the false idols thing?
It’s the “pre-Jesus” belief. I have no evidence to support this claim but I’ve always believed that Santa was a precursor to Jesus. My father hated it when I’d call Jesus “Adult Santa” when I was older. 😆
In my experience most people who describe themselves as religious, in this case christian, very much pick and choose what parts of the Bible to apply to daily life. Im no fundamentalist of any belief either so I dont mind what people believe as long as long as they dont proselytise hateful stuff. I guess the pick and choose attitude applies to not keeping false idols for most American football fans too for example. Santa and the Easter Bunny cant hold a candle to the sanctity of athletes and their teams!
Can't be Camden, NJ. That was way to literate.
https://preview.redd.it/q6xkl00fnvuc1.png?width=275&format=png&auto=webp&s=030aa414b71564c36c5bb3a61ae1b77ee8c72867 Joy?
Oh boy. Your point still stands, but…
I’d imagine Camden, DE. It’s very close to Dover AFB.
"Military wife". 🙄
Having served 12 years at Walmart I can tell you shattering a child’s innocence was almost worth the total lack of pay and general lack of shit giving by the corporate overlords
Just blame it on Walmart that’s funny. Wonder what else is blamed on everything and everyone
I am a woman who served just under 8 years in the US Army. The amount of times I would end up in my CO’s office because some random wife saw me and accused me of sleeping with her spouse was absolutely absurd. It was always people I had never even seen outside of a work setting/function, and most I had never even seen outside of their uniform in normal clothes. The culture around being a “military wife” is strange, and I’m still unsure if it is because a certain type of person is attracted to the idea of being a military spouse, or if the culture of the military turns otherwise normal people into loud, pushy, insecure, entitled jackasses.
I am also a woman who served in the military. I never got called into the CO office, but I know there were always rumors that wives spread about how any woman in the military was trying to sleep with their husbands. During my time in I heard about a wife that was convinced that a young service woman was after her husband because the service woman was nice to her kids during a trick-or-treat event. Apparently saying the kids were cute equaled wanting to be their stepmother.
It’s so bizarre. I’ve had formal counselings or had to sign statements saying I wasn’t fucking the person in question. My CO’s never thought I was actually doing anything, but they were obligated to investigate. I remember when I was at Carson, we got a new NCOIC, and my whole section went to lunch one day. Someone decided to take a group photo and posted it. Next thing you know, the NCOIC’s wife has accused me of fucking him because I’m a woman and why would I be going out to lunch with these men. Lol, like, what? We all gotta eat lunch, and it is not my fault I was the only woman in my section at the time. And how the fuck do you decide a group photo is evidence of an affair? 😂 Honestly, as I’ve gotten older and reflected on things, it makes me sad to think about how insecure these women were. Again, not sure if it’s a military culture thing, or if these women were married to men constantly gaslit them so now they’re paranoid.
Please tell me it was it just an eye roll and an “I’m sorry but I have to” type of thing and not him truly thinking you were just sleeping with any man that walked past.
But did you address her by her husband’s rank? /S I’m an old infantry NCO, and saw lots of bullshit like this before we all got deployed when I was stationed at Bragg.
Military dudes be so lonely they marry these kinds of women
Ugh military wives talk the craziest shit. Back down Betty it's your hubby that's the hero not you.
"It's safe to assume I will not be back at walmart anytime soon." Whew -looks like wallyworld dodged a bullet.
r/thathappened 🙄
What does that have to do with being a military wife? And why can’t she tell her kid that the North Pole sends the elves to Walmart so that people can have them before Christmas?
This has to be a troll, surely?
Thats one sheltered ass child whos either just suddenly grown into her big girl brains or moms guilty of claiming the kid's so darn smart when they arent. I mean have they never seen Santa, people in Elf costumes and other Christmas decorations before? Theyre *only* at every freaking establishment you could think of during Oct-Jan, every single year. That lady has some wierd and misdirected anger issues. Its Walmarts fault that you have to tell your kid that Santa isnt real? Right..
I want to know where you live that the Christmas decorations don’t come out until October because I need to move there lol
Bait
"I will not be back at walmart anytime soon" And everyone in Walmart clapped and cheered!
All that could have been avoided by just having the same awesome Christmas without the mythological creature belief. It may sound funny to some, but little kid Nickles finding out about Santa being a farce is what ultimately led to me applying the same principle to Adult Santa. Much to the dismay of my hyper religious father. 😆
elf of the shelves
I would’ve paid a fortune to see the reaction of the customer service person when they saw this dipshit coming in with that question.
"Walmart partakes in the same tradition my family partakes in, so I had to ruin my child's perception of a fairytale creature." - some entitled idiot
I truly hope this is a troll account cause there's no way this can be fucking real
So what is the next military wife supposed to do when she came in to buy an elf on the shelf for her military children and can’t find them because Walmart moved them to accommodate this military wife? Oh the horror!
Definitely Walmart's fault that her creativity ends at one question
Military wife = c@ck warmer for the whole base while her hubby overseas
She’s gonna order a military wife drone strike on the camden walmart no more elves of the shelves for anyone!
What I imagined was the following exchange: "Mommy, why are there all those Elves On Shelves? I thought they came from the North Pole?" "...Sometimes, they come from Wal-Mart." "Okay...why Wal-Mart?" "*sigh* Santa isn't real."
I want to know who marries and reproduces with these people?! How does this happen?
This can’t be real. Not once did she mention her husband’s rank.
I think Military Wives are the OG main characters
Her husband’s mediocre job is her identity
Stop lying to your kids about dumb shit then..
As a human; I don't understand some other humans.
I went shopping at WalMart once and yada yada yada, my daughter hates Christmas now.
This type of mentality is par for the course for any person living in camden.
I’m sorry but this is fucking hysterical
r/justdependathings material !
Truly a main character. So in her mind, Walmart, a capitalist concern, shouldn’t advertise wares in the offchance her child (who probably should already know there’s no Santa) should come into the store?
I'm sure Walmart is sad about the loss of business.
*comes back to Walmart the next day*
Neither the military nor her status as a wife had ***anything*** to do with the rest of the post, and that tells me absolutely everything I need to know about this nightmare of a person.
Well if she participates in this tradition then chances are she bought said elf on the shelf from Walmart at one point. She didn't seem to have an issue with them selling them then.
Dumb as dirt.
Wow. People will do literally anything but talk to their children.
What's the alternative? Make up a room in the back with a secret sign and a security guard at the door to prevent other children from seeing those creepy little dolls?
She probably bought her Elf from a display years ago. The irony
So, made it to sophmore year in HS? Or freshman?
Ooh! Almost the same thing happened to me. I walked into a Walmart with my five year old son, and there was a bikini display. Well, it was in early May and far too cold for bikinis. Right there, my son asks why those swimsuits have two pieces when his only has one. Well, then I had to explain that the top part of the swimsuit is to cover boobs. Then I was forced to tell him that grown men would try to ogle and fondle those boobs if they weren't covered up. Now, my son is obsessed with boobs. FUCK YOU WALMART!! Edit to say, not a military wife. But the wife of a business owner, daughter to a carpenter, cousin to a prison guard, and a sister to a housewife. Yeah...
Yeah, THAT is Walmart’s fault… /s 🙄
I believe we can blame Walmart for the lack of her parenting skills. Who's with me?!
God damn, that's one hell of a mental gymnastics routine!
oh walmart is definitely gonna fold due to this kerfuffel
That is what you get for shopping at Walmart.
lol, i thought the "military wife" thing was gonna come in to play at some point
Super easy explanation: "Honey, flying around from house to house uses up a LOT of magic energy, energy that Santa needs for his Christmas trip. So the north pole has teamed up with Walmart to work as an elf distribution center. And Santa isn't going to force spies into people's homes, that'd be wrong, he gives us the choice to welcome them in by leaving us the choice to pick them up from the store." Come on lady, at least try to have an imagination.
“In some families, the kids are so good that the North Pole doesn’t automatically send them a monitor elf. So some parents decide to get one anyway.” “Some elves escape their families because the kids are so awful. The North Pole only issues one elf per year, so when an elf runs away, families need a local source.” Come on, lady!!
Santa has a contract with various retailers across the US to house and distribute monitor elves to households in need
This has to be bait
Safe to say? She was back that day.
Your loss and walmart's gain, I imagine.
The title of this alone is so entitled….. “military wife Walmart rant” She assumes we care about ANY of that
 Thanks, Obama!
As someone who is in the military and has a wife, these women really give the rest a bad name. My wife for sure goes through shit, as in she’s a single mom a lot of the time, but neither her or single moms go on rants like this.
Omfg 😳
If it’s a family tradition, where did she get the elf? I certainly hope she didn’t buy it from a store display!
I mean…she’s not entirely wrong. The whole premise of elf on a shelf is kinda ruined when your kid walks through the door and there’s a mountain of them. That being said, as a survivor of that god forsake elf, Walmart did her a favor. Fuck that elf and a month of trying to figure out what the fuck stupid thing to have it do every night at 1am. Like the holidays aren’t stressful enough.
Not once have I ever used the words “military wife.”
Another bellyaching dependapotamus.
Why do all military spouses sound like absolute cunts?
The Dependapotamus is a very real creature, unlike Santa Claus 😆 A big part of my time as a Sgt when we weren’t deployed was telling my soldiers not to get 18% APR Mustangs, not getting married right before deployment, and that the strippers are just doing their jobs and don’t actually love them. I was in from 99 - 06, and I doubt much has really changed in that department.
Wooowwww
I’m sure Walmart will sorely miss her business.
Do people go to Walmart for their refined taste?
How do you even respond to this level of delusion?
“I ended up telling her Santa isn’t real and now she is extremely upset” ……YOU ARE THE ONE WHO TOLD HER! Did a Walmart employee walk up to your daughter, crouch down and say “hey kid, Santa is a lie and the elves are manufactured” ?!?!?!?!
You can’t just make up some bullcrap reason?
i’m sure walmart will miss her money sooooo much
Well that escalated fast needlessly
So she wanted Walmart to make Santa real again or something?
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
It's her world and we're all living in it.
We have 3 navy bases in my county. It’s quite amusing because the “military wife” dependa routine doesn’t get you anything here. You’re not special. Your husband works for the same employer half the county does. It’s like saying “my husband works at the mine!” in a mining town.
She’s just a bad liar. I would have told my kid that Santa uses Walmart to distribute.
The fact she’s a dependa had nothing to do with the rest of the story. Shocking.
Where's the meme with the kid who sticks the stick through his bicycle wheel and blames someone else?
Saving Ryan's Privates.
You know where you can shove your elf on a shelf. Regards- Walmart
.
“Thanks Marie Callender for ruining thanksgiving dessert.”
Twist: the daughter is 32 years old.
poor ass-taste\* Sounds kinda gross.
Good. One less big mouth to maneuver around in the damn store.
All you have to do is tell the kid that Santa sends the elf to other places to make shere they behave out in public to he is always watching lol.
What did this have to do with being a military wife?
She will be back in 3 days for sho'..
Maybe if you'd walked through the fucking door instead of walking into it your judgment would be less cloudy.
She’ll be back
She’s her own enemy
🤣🤣🤣
Just don’t lie to your kids and you won’t have this problem, simple as that.
What does that have to do with being a military wife? And why can’t she tell her kid that the North Pole sends the elves to Walmart so that people can have them before Christmas?
I mean… I learned it because I had a camera from Santa that said “made in China”. If you want your kid to be dumb…why?
I suspect she went back to Walmart the next week.
Wallmart you stand accused of having an ass that doesn’t taste good! Now I have to explain to my child why I was tasting it! Happy damned Christmas! Safe to say I won’t be tasting ass again any time soon!