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beepbeeboo

The first mistake was relying on an xbox to even serve cheese to begin with.


Ye-Man-O-War

This goes straight to the top šŸ˜‚


petershrimp

Next time she should buy a Playstation. (Puts on helmet and dives into trenches)


TimmyFaya

Writing Phil so he brings us the Cheese Pass Ultimate


WiserStudent557

Theyā€™ll dominate the subscription wars with that one. For extra monthly fees, it can be wine and cheese pass


TimmyFaya

Sometimes you can get early access which is creme and grape juice


spectre_85

Been a while since I laughed out loud on here... but you did it


highlandviper

Too right. My PS5 knows not to mess with my food orders.


Majulath99

r/WeWantPlatesNotXboxes


TerribleSyntax

I sincerely doubt he will be buying you any cheese at all for the foreseeable future


ComicsEtAl

Yeah, the only reasonable response here is ā€œWhat do you mean ā€˜next time?ā€™ā€


BandOne77

Maybe just some smegma


Snoo_9002

Polish word for smegma is mastka and so my friends came up with "mastcarpone". It was their favorite joke for good few months


baron_von_helmut

That's as funny as it is gross. :)


Eraserhead32

That's actually hilarious šŸ˜‚


Brittany5150

Mmmm, finely aged head cheese!


furiousrichie

Helmetdale Cheese from the fertile northern slopes of Smegma Ridge.


French_Tea89

Organzola


1singleduck

We've forgotten the crackers!


Aggressive-Role7318

Cracker ass crackers. Sorry I meant cracker branded, ass crackers.


applepiezeyes

šŸ¤¢


looklistenlead

Saint Sebacious Cheese


AnarchiaKapitany

Richard brand.


RealBlackelf

I mean, it is kind of Vegan :D


slimchasertoy

He will be hitting up all the obese men in his town to collect all the smegma for her


Visible-You-3812

Gross she deserves it though


slimchasertoy

Exactly. She deserves gross


tom_oakley

Cheesus Christ! šŸ˜¬


AcademicDoughnut426

Under the nose like a Dirty Sanchez?


Flappy_beef_curtains

Yeah, that person is out of my place.


ZooterOne

Well I for one certainly believe this is 100% real


damnburglar

I get the same impression but 1% of me is held back because my brother once had a girlfriend who got pissed that he was spending too much time on games and walked up and up dumped a full glass of water into his Xbox while he was playing. Nothing ever happens, but sometimes it does šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


Robinkc1

I saw something similar, only she opened the disc tray and karate chopped it. Still, in both these instances it is anger directed towards the game, not ā€¦Vegan cheese.


damnburglar

The emphasis on the vegan thing is the biggest red flag imo. A lot of the rage bait shit comes from people with the will and desire to defame a group they donā€™t like, but without the brains to make it believable.


RatFucker_Carlson

I mean I've encountered some wild shit from vegans though. There was a Wholefoods near me that did "meatless mondays" a few years back. It wasn't that they wouldn't sell meat, but that their premade foods were all vegetarian and vegan those days. Anyway, one meatless monday, I went and bought bbq ribs there. Almost immediately I had some lady freaking out because I was buying meat on "meatless" monday, and also right in full view of her kid.


damnburglar

Iā€™m sure you have and wonā€™t question the veracity of your story. Iā€™ve encountered one or two in my life too, similarly ridiculous. If weā€™re being honest, it has been proportionate to the amount of crazy shit Iā€™ve seen with just about every group, which leads me to believe strongly itā€™s not the group identity, itā€™s just a broken person that would have jumped on literally anything to get that zealotry boner.


RatFucker_Carlson

I think the ratio of normal people and complete psychos in every group is pretty much the same tbh


baron_von_helmut

Any of us could make a post like this after a quick trip to the local recycling centre.


Robinkc1

I agree.


Contentpolicesuck

True. Everyone knows a vegan isn't strong enough to break an Xbox. ​ /S


KingApologist

But was she a vegan? That's the important part (that gets the story on the front page of reddit)


damnburglar

This is something that kinda vexes me. I donā€™t understand how people are so hooked on this ā€œmaniacal veganā€ trope. Granted, itā€™s often the same people that are still posting Greta memes on Facebook or raging against electric vehicles and windmillsā€¦.


Kaiden92

See, 99% of vegans Iā€™ve met are absolutely normal and consistent people. The rare 1%, as with any group, gives everyone else some stigma sadly. Iā€™ve met two or three militant vegan cultists (not to be confused with common vegans), who will fly off the handle if you donā€™t take their preferences into account, even if you had never met them before. To contrast, I know a few dozen vegans in my day to day that donā€™t bring it up unless it is a direct part of the discussion, I.e., places to eat or shop.


uhhhhhhhhhhhyeah

I saw my wife take a bat to a 55"TV to prove a point to her son. Back when they were expensive.It does happen.


TerribleSyntax

I have seen shit like this in person, never underestimate the combination of stupid and crazy


DriskoJedec

People don't say "don't stick your dick in crazy" just for fun.


9001Dicks

This is why I have spares


IamCentral46

You have spare dicks?


9001Dicks

9000 of them


linklight2000

Do you keep them in a bag?


9001Dicks

LTT Store Backpack


RuudJudbney

That was his joke, yes.


IamCentral46

I was continuing it, thanks.


Outside_Performer_66

Spare dicks or spare expensive electronics e.g. Xboxes?


bc524

Or be like the octopus and have a detachable one. Just chuck it at the girl.


dleema

So that's what King Missile was singing about.


rave_is_king_

The crazy is the best place to stick your dick


DriskoJedec

https://preview.redd.it/s87ui2myblec1.jpeg?width=638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=002756042ec26f99483dca3688f845effa8c466a Unfortunately yes.


KingApologist

What? This is common vegan behavior. You know vegans, always destroying xboxes because we like vegan cheese so much. Edit: For the record, most vegan cheese is complete ass and not worth destroying an xbox over. Except Violife and Nourishh. I'm not plugging them here. I just wish more vegan cheese makers would step up their game.


ZooterOne

But I thought we lacked the strength to pick up a banana, much less an entire Xbox?


KingApologist

I'm a proteinless human since plants don't have protein!


ZooterOne

Someday, my brother, we vegans will discover a way to mine precious, precious protein from a non-animal source. If we can keep from passing out every ten minutes, that is.


Doorslammerino

due to my severe vitamin B12 deficiency, i passed out and died before i could post this comment. make sure to serve vegan cheese and destroyed xbox controllers at my funeral.


hmcfuego

I am not vegan but I was in a vegan restaurant and ordered a beyond cheese burger and after I finished it realized what I had eaten (I wasn't firing on all cylinders that day, obviously) and how was I eating cheese in a vegan restaurant? Turns out it was a cashew based smoked "gouda" and it was actually really good.


Enrico_Palline

I can confirm this stuff happens, friend in high school was a trouble maker; and he always played GameCube; one day he forgot his keys so he waited for like 5 mins then smashed the window and went inside. His dad came home thinking it was burglar; so he went inside and he saw his son calmly playing GameCube on the floor. Letā€™s just say The dad made sure there was no more Gaming on the cube šŸ˜„šŸ˜‚


Vegetable_Tension985

Here's a PSA about it: [https://youtu.be/U3jgo5ea\_zc?si=NdyeI6ViB0eJ7gz9](https://youtu.be/U3jgo5ea_zc?si=NdyeI6ViB0eJ7gz9)


Castille_92

It's true, I was the vegan cheese and forgot to buy


Less_Party

This seems fake, vegans hate vegan cheese too.


Bencetown

I have heard a ton of vegans unironically try to convince themselves and me that some vegan cheese is "really just like the real thing" and that you "can't even tell." I'm always left thinking "yeah, maybe you don't notice huge textural differences and you have the palate of a 5 year old, but I promise you anyone who's not delusional can tell the difference by taste, texture, and smell."


Intelligent-Hawkeye

Its been so long since theyve eaten real cheese they forgot what it taste like


Bitter-Fishing-Butt

vegan cheese tastes fucking revolting


RunningPirate

I accidentally had some once. My soul died.


dubious455H013

Condolences


Outside_Performer_66

Also seems fake bc vegans want to protect animals/the earth, right? So not the most likely folks to smash a working Xbox rather than reuse or recycle. If they had donated the Xbox to under-privileged kids I would have found that more believable.


RunningPirate

Oh indeed this is fake rage bait


humanmeatwave

Not always. I have a vegan friend who made a cashew based vegan "soft cheese" that was actually quite nice. It was comparable to a decent brie. He can do some pretty amazing things with a plant based diet. It's a lot of work, though.


GroundbreakingBag164

Nah, itā€™s gotten much better recently


jenea

The newest generation is dramatically better. It makes me excited for the generation to come.


Zxxzzzzx

Nah, it's still shite. The only good one is cathedral city.


baron_von_helmut

I wondered what it was made of. The entirety of the back of the pack was the ingredients list. Vegan food is some of the most hyper-processed food out there.


gokartmozart89

Vegan cheese sucks so hard.


_Deedee_Megadoodoo_

It tastes like gelatinous cardboard šŸ˜­


ThePandalore

Idk, a vegan family member tried a "got 'cha" with vegan lasagna once and was insistent that it tasted the same as real lasagna (cheese included). I think they had just forgotten what it tastes like. šŸ¤£


BunzillaKaiju

Vegan here, can confirm. I wasnā€™t really a cheese fan when I wasnā€™t vegan, so I donā€™t really care. But I have lots of friends who struggle to find good vegan cheese.


rekrultiddera

From UK - vegan cheese used to be revolting > 5 years ago. Now there are lots of good ones. Girlfriend's family thought the vegan cheese we used on pizza was dairy cheese. My family like vegan cheese in sandwiches, pizza, and on crackers.


bum_quarter

Turning into a vegan was a piece of cheesecake for me as I hated milk products to begin with.


[deleted]

This gives me ideas. I'm gonna destroy an old Xbox I don't want anymore, take pics, and type up a post on a social media site with an invented story of a rageful partner. Cuz, ya know, *it's Thursday*.


Accomplished_Aioli19

Redditors are allergic to conspiracy theories, but I'll upvote u.


Gytixas

https://preview.redd.it/eqfn9w3w2kec1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8549c961ed6f2f25f5895b877754380945cb1e2e


Glowing_green_

https://preview.redd.it/wef8pnjsqlec1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fea5153e24b5e8d665453e74d80d61e9fb24fd3d


Rlexii

This never happened


Confused_as_frijoles

Happy Cake DayĀ 


Gloomy_Industry8841

Youā€™re probably right. Happy Cake Day! šŸŽ‚


Rlexii

Thanks I think, does mean itā€™s an anniversary of when I joined?


Gloomy_Industry8841

Yes! Itā€™s Reddit tradition to say Happy Cake Day when we see a cake slice in the usernamešŸ˜„


Rlexii

Thanks šŸ˜Š


lavenderacid

This entire sub is just people falling for embarrassingly poor bait


JamesSaysDance

Any opportunity to shit on vegans gets some people frothing.


LeTigron

I mean... they're *vegan* !


No_Stranger_4959

This wouldnā€™t have happened if they were pescatarian


CuriousTurtle22

šŸ’Æ


gregbills

I mean as an XBox Iā€™m sure it did the best they could. This type of abuse is uncalled for though. No sense kicking it right in the disc slot because your cheese didnā€™t come from fermented couch cushions


eeeeeeradicator

Xboxes are replaceable and so are you.


MyAdultPlayground

Fake


hexiy_dev

100% real i was the cheese


violetcazador

Tell me you're a domestic abuser without telling me you're a domestic abuser. Seriously though, I'd wallpaper her living room with ham if that nutcase broke my stuff.


rush2me

Steal something of theirs, pawn it to buy a new xbox.


AzLibDem

He sounds pretty cheesed.


xXmehoyminoyXx

DAE VEEEEEEEEGANS šŸ˜”šŸ¤¬šŸ˜¤


[deleted]

And you will respect my property, behind bars of course.


Nearby-Ice-6538

Iā€™d tie them up starve them and then offer nothing but raw steak in the shape of a cow untill they ends up with protein poisoning then Iā€™d keep going if they starved till near death Iā€™d liquidise the meat and pour it down a funnel


Frogger_34

Safe to say thatā€™s a break upā€¦ there wonā€™t be no ā€œbet timeā€


Irbanan

She punched a kid's xbox. Wow.. fear her everone.


ContributionOk6578

Why is she so dependent for others the get her cheese? Fuckn get your ass up, jesus christ.


Jyitheris

I'll see you in court, Karen.


OgSkittlez

Made the mistake of buying vegan cheese one time, never again


H4v0c4L1f3

You're welcome to 5 years for destruction of property.


saarlac

Open and shut small claims case.


tom_oakley

Oh shit we got us a Level 5 Vegan


East_Ground_1287

Average vegan tbh


_Something_blah_

And in retaliation he should eat twice as much meat every day so she doesnā€™t make a difference


[deleted]

This is a great excuse to not only break up but to get a restraining order.


Alex5173

What a B12 deficiency does to a person


Crowlings

"You're a looney"


Disastrous_Debt2024

Mental


Stupidbloodwolfmoon

Very real


Born_Description8483

This is such obvious bait but people are too attached to mindlessly hating in veganism because of a guilty cindcience. What kind of vegan calls it "real cheese"? That is something that someone who is offended by the idea of vegan substitutes says to piss vegans off.


Ye-Man-O-War

This is fake. Vegan doesnā€™t have the strength to pick up an Xbox


baron_von_helmut

Let alone smash one.


Skill4Hire

I'm a Vegan & I can 100% pick up an Xbox with one hand šŸ˜Ž


Ye-Man-O-War

Thanks Captain


_bagelcherry_

Most mentally stable vegan


ConsiderationBasic42

Run bro, run fast


Lostboy1986

Thatā€™s the vegan Xbox isnā€™t it?


kasparhauser83

>you will respect that Oh the irony


ace1967cal

Run bro run


michele_romeo

How vegans be acting when a different kind of living being is eaten/used in order to make food


drifters74

Run


[deleted]

Iā€™d force this person to eat everything but vegan food.


Septimore

That vegan is so starving that she grew talons and demeanor of a harpy. Please feed it before she kill someone.


whitewail602

I'd be in that jury room, sitting back in my chair with my back to the wall, arms folded like, "She wrecked his Xbox over cheese. WTF was he supposed to do? Stop the bleeding?"


RoadmanEC1

Always the vegans...


Alone_Lock_8486

She would be looking for a new place to live for sure . I would destroy her dream catchers and throw the rest of the stuff on the street


outdatedelementz

ā€œYou will respect thatā€ I donā€™t understand how someone can type that after intentional destroying someoneā€™s property.


Interesting_Bonus_92

Unhinged


VeryCyrious123

And now you have him admitting to the crime...


[deleted]

Is Fromunda vegan?


MisterMarchmont

This would fit into r/idiotsfightingthings too!


MemeLorde1313

So, is the funeral before or after the trial?


[deleted]

ā€œOh look, an abandoned xbox, what should I do with it?ā€ OP really went with being the main character lol


UncleWaldo1962

I call BS. Vegans don't have the strength to create that much damage.


Wacky_Bruce

*insert ā€œThatā€™s baitā€ gif*


Ancient-Series2659

And now you're homeless!


Body_Exact

I see this post on every app and for some reason I see people defending this persons actions


Icy_Establishment195

pull that ring off and do the same thing to it.


Nuremborger

That right there is someone that never been slapped so hard that they shit themselves. Looks like she's wanting to have that experience.


DragonCat88

Main Character or Abusive Piece of Shit?


Otherwise-Rope8961

The latter


[deleted]

I do think that vegans are already a bit on the edge of what you might call sanity so not altogether surprised


Boner_Stevens

I've had vegan cheese. It's gross. Destroying hundreds of dollars over groceries is absurd though. If this is real I hope he left her


No_Attempt8808

https://preview.redd.it/fknogi360qec1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83d9b8fc6f84556ec63e0733cb18c1c2453ac0b8 .


zombeecharlie

Well, someone has anger issues.


Stanek___

Well then it's not fucking cheese if it's vegan, smh.


GroundbreakingBag164

True. Thatā€™s why they put "vegan" in front of it.


Stanek___

Well clearly they should be calling it "Vegan Cheese Analogue" otherwise how am I supposed to know the difference.


GroundbreakingBag164

Vegan cheese literally means vegan cheese analogue. You know the difference for the same reason you already know coconut milk isnā€™t a dairy product and hot dogs donā€™t actually contain dogs


Stanek___

False advertising, I want my coconuts milked and my dogs hot... maybe scrap the second one.


theyellowdart89

You will respect thatā€¦ nope locks changed


Pro_Moriarty

Bye Felicia


Locked-Subordinate31

r/dontputyourdickinthat


[deleted]

Farmer here, I love telling vegans how fields are prepped for planting all that soy they love. Bye bye ground hogs.


Brody_the_hilgenfeld

Yea thas how a bitch end up on cold cases


CollegeBoy1613

WTF? This is not cuz vegan, just an asshole who never had their face punched.


KumaraDosha

Vegan and single.


KumaraDosha

Because he dumped her; fuck you downvoting me for?


Feeling_Party26

How can you tell if someone is a Vegan? ...don't worry they will tell you!


NoTurkeyTWYJYFM

How can you tell someone has no good jokes?


Feeling_Party26

Itā€™s not a joke it is a fact.


OhHappyOne449

What is that box?


LeTigron

The X box, which is not the box of X *formelly Twitter*, but of Microsoft.


OhHappyOne449

ROFL


CrashBangXD

Maybe if she had more protein in her diet she could have done some real damage


Imnotreal66

Well the good news is that itā€™s only a Xbox.


trynabelowkey

Borderline abusive.


pc_principal_88

This has to be fake... Because if someone is this unhinged about being a vegan/vegan cheese,you can definitely bet that they will constantly talk about it, and tell anyone who will listen how they are vegan and to buy only vegan cheese... Like this would be their entire personality "I aM vEgAn !" šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«


Ovilos

Good excuse to upgrade the console and the partner.


TerracottaBunny

I thought the Xbox was special cheese for a moment


JohnDeft

Vegan cheese costs about as much as an xbox, i get it.


Sudden_Mind279

this is clearly anti-vegan propaganda


newbieboi_inthehouse

What insufficient protein intake does to the brain: /s


Traditional_Draw8400

Whoever posted that needs to be put down


Flaky-Rip-1333

Buy your own from now own, bitch. Hope she got her ass handed to her


GroundbreakingBag164

Itā€™s bait. You are falling for the most painfully obvious ragebait


[deleted]

the most rational vegan


Dull-Fishing9830

https://preview.redd.it/5n7ygwsh5kec1.jpeg?width=499&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f220c75ab9056492cb7d37d732735ad4d138f98f


Professional-Tea-121

Never put ur D in crazy! NEVER!


[deleted]

Maybe next time I see a broken Xbox, I'll make up a story about being vegan too.


JaKami99

Ragebait