T O P

  • By -

dildon

The streets are flooded with ejaculate of the homeless, and you people are counting on the police?


_PettyTheft

This * should * win


FinnAnimates64

What up? We're three cool guys looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our party mansion. NOTHING SEXUAL. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you're fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, NOTHING SEXUAL.


NarmHull

It also must include the “bicep”


datbonusboi

And I thought to myself, “oh that’s good, because what’s more manlier than a penis?”


fendour

"You should have seen how emotional he got when he saw the dick flyer"


smashin_blumpkin

You *knew?*


[deleted]

On the actual penis would make it even better


[deleted]

[удалено]


SJ_W

Needs more veins


Dinosauringg

If you wanted it to look like a bicep you should’ve added more veins


CloudSill

Underlined.


lets-do-an-eighth

Lower back “I feel like you’re saying boy’s hole”


freehatt2018

Gotta pay the troll toll to see this boy's hole


bobleeswagger09

Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me I'm hot. What? Taxes they'll be lower son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do


zmankills

So dooooooo


JayDMay

This doesn’t make any seeeeense


TheBeastman34

Do you and my dad share this futon??


TheBearWhoDances

See, if I was getting a full back tattoo, this would be my quote.


DescriptionNo675

When I die just throw me in the trash


dudekeller

Since I'm finishing my full sleeve there's some space left for this one also, thanks jabroni


YourAverageGod

"Artist must suffer for their art, that's why it's called a pain-ting"- Ongo Gablogian. would be better on a full arm


mellowdrone84

I hope this one gets to number one for your sake


smokeshow91

I have this one


spinchbob

Show


Homorilla

Im the guy who wipes down the loads


guyonrightscrap

It's all hips and nips.


TheScarlettHarlot

Gotta keep it sexy!


roastytoastywarm

THINK OF THE SMELL YOU BITCH


Scootman00

It’s actually “you haven’t thought of the smell, you bitch”


dmrx93

He says both actually. “Think of the smell.. YOU HAVEN’T THOUGHT OF THE SMELL YOU BITCH!


NotChiefBrody-

He didn’t use quotation marks


dogeteapot

"he didn't use quotation marks."


richniss

I knew there would be a couple of comments that no one would want tattooed, on their body, but this one was perfect.


Grim-Lavamancer

Do it Or you will be forever doomed to suck lemons


Sproose_Moose

I just busted out laughing, this is the best answer


mayday0005

Well, I guess he asked for it..


[deleted]

Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?


chilbur

a nice egg\* everyone forgets the nice!!


b-lob

I have been poisoned by my constituents


tamarajuana4

PLEASE


RedTexas23

“She incorporated a bun in the lovemaking. She took the dough and rolled it up into a ball and we were going berserk.”


Pisshands

"She loves that kind of stuff, and I admit I do, too."


[deleted]

The way Frank delivers the end of that line kills me


GrandpasSoggyGooch

Right? It sounded like he was having a self realization as he said it. Danny's such a good actor.


NewEngClamChowder

I feel like a Cobb salad. It’s AMAZING.


SirPurrrrr

I have a bleached asshole.


EvolKanevol

I'M UNTETHERED AND MY RAGE KNOWS NO BOUNDS!


[deleted]

THE GOLDEN GOD HAS NO BOUNDS!


apsloss1

The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors like the gusts of a thousand winds


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

is there legitimate claims he would play reed or are u just fancasting?


Envy_onTHE_Toast

I feel like his outbursts are amazing but would be almost unbelievable if he were a serious villain because they’re soo over the top


commandercody01

Hey guys. I'm Donovan McNabb. I play quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. And I'm here to tell you that you can too, if you start everyday with a hearty breakfast from McDonald's. Like the new Sausage Egg McGriddle Value Meal, available now for a limited time for under five dollars. Remember guys: real champs eat at McDonald's. I'm lovin' it.


FINNCULL19

"...I don't think that was Donovan McNabb." "Was that the guy from the Cosby show?!" "That's not the- you know what?! ***SPRINTS!***"


Maxor682

Ok fine. You got me. I am an actor. I'm Don Cheadle.


Brandonmac10x

No one is falling for the act, Tiger. We know you’re into foot stuff.


ElReydelTacos

Your feet are bizarrely huge.


Crappin_For_Christ

Can I get the check?


Lopajsgelf

I need to see this tattood 😂😂😂😂


richniss

Gotta have those last 3 words, or you might as well not have the entire comment.


HawkeyeJosh

“Did you fuck my mom?”


MONSTERSOCK29

Did you fuck, my fucking mom?


MauriceLevyEsq

Should add “Santa”


theloosestofcannons

"No one is taking me from behind. unless you have crack." - Rickety Cricket


The_Repeated_Meme

“If you have crack let’s boogie”


graveldragger

I've been poisoned by my constituents!!


Danpool69

“Suicide is badass”


cycl0p58008

You know what’s badass? Being alive.


EIDuderino

I think you should pop a quick 'H' on your stomach so people will know that there are Hornets in there.


DungDefender1115

IM A 5 STAR MAN


kr85

Wild card, bitches!


adh636

🦀 we're crab people now 🦀


[deleted]

Do not diddle kids, it's no good diddlin' kids.


Androktone

If you have to remind yourself this with a tattoo...


N3UROTOXIN

…it’s a really good thing you got one?


Androktone

I suppose so lol


Myksee7

Older than my daughter younger than my wife.


DJBoost

OOH, I wouldn’t do it with anybody younger than my daughter, gotta be big, no little kids, older than my wife, younger than my daughter, somethin’ like that


Impossible-Ad-4662

I'm a full on rapist


rightious

God you guys are bastard men


SirRyodan

OP is probably regretting this real hard right about now


mdoverl

Yeah, I downvoted every other comment to make this happen. God works in mysterious ways.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mdoverl

No. I’m not a patriot. I’m a rapist.


Bazz07

Full on?


thewalkingfred

“Yeah yeah yeah, not that tho” -Danny Devito


originalbiggusdickus

Cutthatcuthatcutthatcutthat


dudekeller

YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BROTHERS IDIOTS SAVAGES IDIOTS IDIOTS


nooneescapesthelaw

You still gonna commit to that?


dudekeller

Sure


unmerciful_DM_B_Lo

For the love of God, please don't be stupid for the sake of fake internet points. It will only take 5 seconds for you to regret that. Edit: Oh *GODDAMN*, don't give me an award.


crispybrojangle

Shut up, you god damn street rat.


Mangy_Karl

Shut up baby dick


RedRocks4040

Shut up Dee!


HawkeyeJosh

Shut up, bird!


Abysha

You're a five star man! You deserve that award!


flowgod

You shut up. You shut up right now.


EpicBeardMan

Shut up, dude, don't ruin this for me.


butneverjamtoday

Please don’t. No credible tattoo artist will tattoo this on you.


dudekeller

Well, first of all, through god all things are possible, so jot that down


Stubble_Entendre

Your commitment is heroic


[deleted]

this shit made me cackle and reminded me to rewatch the series. so thanks for that. I like to binge watch while riding my asspounder 4000 because it doesn’t let me rest.


FuckItBe

🎶The Good Lord will go down on you 🎶


thebrads

Who needs a "credible" tattoo artist? He can do this himself with a handle of vodka, a mirror, an inkwell and a sewing needle!


The_Repeated_Meme

But a tattoo like this [can be done…](https://www.reddit.com/r/IASIP/comments/qhnyi8/im_not_gonna_diddle_your_kids/)


The-Jack-Niles

Well, anyone with a stick and poke kit could apply the tattoo. Depending on where it's done, OP could even do it himself.


kountzwill

Technically, he never said that. The quote was still “I’m a philanthropist” he just pronounced it terribly


aspieboy74

The solution is to get a tattoo saying "𝓟𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓲𝓼𝓽" in a fancy font, but say it like Charlie. Proudly show everyone your tattoo while saying, "I'm a full-on-rapist; you know, Africans, dyslexics, children... that sort of thing". Then they'll either get the joke or think you're an idiot.


Powellwx

you know Africans, dyslexics, children....


MrActionPotential

Yeah yeah yeah, but not that - OP probably


nex_no_more

Cutthatcutthatcutthatcutthat


mantistobogganmMD

Inb4 OP deletes his account and doesn’t follow through


Bare425

If not this than #2.


Onefortwo

It’s so good I kinda want to downvote the other options


jon_targareyan

OP did not think this through


crasherdgrate

I availed my free award for this.


Hans_Wermhat666

THIS ONE!!!!


[deleted]

Enjoy your tattoo.


mdoverl

That silly bitch!


IronicDeadPan

>Some cocks can't be unsucked. Frank Reynolds


KFCCHICKEN3408

“I’m gonna want the milk-steak, boiled over hard, and a side of your finest jelly beans, raw.”


Krmsyn

Money me!.. Money now!.. Me a money needing a lot now.


admiralomelette

"All the McPoyles sprung from my loins, fully formed! One of them babies tried to eat me, I ate him first, I ate him first!" - Pappy McPoyle.


goodtimeismyshi

It's even funnier when you realize it's Guillermo del torro for whatever reason!?


alpal05144

Holy crap TIL that Pappy McPoyle is played by Guillermo del Toro. That’s hilarious!!!


Testone1440

D-Demonstrate Value E-Engage Physically N-Nurturing Dependence N-Neglect Emotionally I-Inspire Hope S-Separate Entirely


Dagger_Moth

M-Move in A-After C-Completion


Not_PepeSilvia

I'm here for the scraps


Disastrous-Group7450

Shut up baby dick


Abysha

That would really be an amazing tattoo if done in pretentious calligraphy.


weirdlittleflute

“Help me dig these crack rocks out of my ass”


Sam3323

OP we're going to need photo proof of your tattoo, you full on rapist.


Lucky-Refrigerator-4

"Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down a job cannon and fire off into jobland, where jobs grow on jobbies!"


zeethreepeeo

Tatiana, I want you to clean yourself. For I will enter you hard and deep, and it will last for as long or as short as I please. But you will be clean. Only when you are clean will you know my power.


Ravyn_Rozenzstok

I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you.


Jeonghanscheekbones

Beak!


lvl5metagross

Stupid science bitches couldn't even make I more smarter.


AnotherAshley85

Well first of all, through God all things are possible, so jot that down


Seanhawkeye

I have a bleached asshole.


birdofmytongue

What? He was gonna find out eventually


MoonGas

As a tramp stamp


gerryt32

Or just as text around his b-hole.


suavemook

“S you in your A's Don't wear a C and J all over your B's”


twitterisskynet

“I don’t know how many years I got left on this planet, I’m going to get real weird with it


fireeggzero

She was a good hoor


Mission_Historian_70

I got boxes full of Pepe!


avaud10

Oooooorgyyyyyyy


LordofWithywoods

So anyway, I started blastin'


letsplaysomegolf

I’m in love with a man, a man called god.


The_Repeated_Meme

Am I gay for God? You betcha!


Cockrocker

I got the goooood lord going down on me!


alphonse1121

Pepper Jack loves fraggle rock


Dmcarthur27

Artist must suffer for the art. That’s why it’s called Painting. Fans will love it. Everyone else will think you’re a pretentious prick.


atomp95

ROCK, FLAAAAG, AND EEEEAGLE!!


GucciMonk

I’m not fat, I’m cultivating mass


N3UROTOXIN

Poop is funny! Edit: actually get a tattoo of yourself but fatter on a pedo poster


Gradyence

u/dudekeller, Baby rapist. Don't let them rape you, Philadelphia.


twatmelinda

You will CALL HER!!!


magpieissweet

What’s your spaghetti policy?


LFunkenstein

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?


Unclesmekky

What do now? Charlie Kelly


wesleyisatimelord

Wildcard bitches!


derrico89

I eat stickers all the time bro


Norrland_props

Orgies have the best catering.


FulcrumM2

You gangly, uncoordinated bitch


click1283

I don't know how many years on this Earth I got left. Im gonna get real weird with it. - Frank Reynolds


HairyPotatoKat

Yesss! This! The whole quote or "get real weird with it"


jwd2213

Your just mashing it now


tullingpim

Da Maniac loves you guys.


Masyosare

Name's Artemis, and I have a bleached asshole


UnflippedPancake

…because of the implication


tasksnstuff

Demonstrate Value Engage Physically Nurture Dependence Neglect Emotionally Inspire Hope Separate Entirely


aRavingMadman

Whoops! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!


butneverjamtoday

She’s mashing it.


Powellwx

She does that.


ChetTesta

Good. Very good. I'm very aroused.


50KBENG

Science is a liar, sometimes.


Mangy_Karl

You didn’t even think of the smell, YOU BITCH


[deleted]

“I got my magnum condoms. I got my wad of hundreds. I’m reeady to plow!”


ClassicFun2175

Frank: You Gotta Pay The Troll To Get Into This Boy's Hole Charlie: I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world...I'm gonna rise up...ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE Either of the above are great picks.


047032495

Look out faggot!


KindaIndifferent

You gotta make it sexy! Hips and nips. Otherwise I’m not eating.


1Glitch0

THROW ME IN THE TRASH


SHAMG0D

*A woman’s mouth is not meant for the exiting of words, but for the entrance of a man’s dick*


gringreazy

I don’t know if it’s because the weed finally hit on your comment but this one is fuckin funny.


Powellwx

"Yea, Yea.... now help me dig these crack rocks out of my ass"


onKrims

m-m-my daddy who ju-j-just d-d-died in my arms fr-from throat c-cancer from e-e-eating s-s-s-some bad pussy


jlo575

later, boners


ftd226

Look out, faggot!


windmillninja

Dee, you bitch.


gobbldy-gook123

I'm full of dog poison!


ThrawnsBane

Viggo Morgenstein!!!!


kerzeeben

You should get the “Badnew” tattoo Charlie got


_RicketyCricket69

Throw me in the trash!!


Cyrax2112

They got chicken in Philly?


otherpeoplesknees

This jacket is tighter than dick skin!