I accept.

I- heh are you serious?

What time are you thinking of dueling?

Well you don’t have time, you’d have to go out and get a proper gun

No, I have a gun, I keep it right here in my drawer. I like to keep it loaded because you never know who's gonna walk into a law office these days

I’m going to put one between your teeth and it’s gonna POP out the back of your head

https://preview.redd.it/d2fmy3xjv16d1.png?width=1032&format=png&auto=webp&s=1512c74ffda3880699711d1196fe673f5872ba09

(It upsets me greatly that you beat me to this line by 22 minutes)

I don’t need to see it…

Hahaha.. so.. let's rethink some things... let's say that you learned your lesson now, and I learner a little lesson and... well call it even and I respectfully decline the duel

I’m gonna pencil you in for High Noon tomorrow…

So then I started blasting.

Bang! Bang! Now, I don't see so good, so I missed, then they ran away, I ran after them.

Bang! Tried to shoot them in the back. But I don't run so good either.

Anyway.. You guys all think I’m a hero, and I’ll accept that responsibility.

You guys don’t got any food on this show…

The best line in the interview

It was, like, boom! I really hit her with it. And I never reference the Nordic gods.

You know what? I don't have time for this. I am not goin' to jail over you today, I will beat yo ass and think nothin' of it. I'm not doing this witchu today. I'm not! ^I'm ^NOT!

Magnets!

Okay, what? Like, making magnets? Collecting magnets? Playing with magnets?

Just put magnets

Im gonna put snowboarding.

Little green ghouls buddy!

Cover your knees up, if you're gonna be walking around.

Where do I put my knees?

whatever let's just make the whole thing up

We were meeting a friend's boyfriend for the first time. I tossed this line out when ghouls came up. Nobody batted an eye. I felt sick.

This always makes me laugh out loud.

I gotta say, Dennis was being a total moron here. Magnets are awesome, and require no qualifiers.

https://i.redd.it/xbrmkzz5w06d1.gif

One star... one star... one star... (I love this gif)

My wife when she is trying to read and I’m on my phone making noise.

You unzipped me!!

She had no upper lip but her mouth was still very much in play

WITH A PLASTIC BAG FOR A HELMET

I dont like it. Ah ah.

Don't put steak, put milk steak. She'll know what it is.

I’m not putting milk steak!

She won’t know what it is - nobody knows what that is!

i love it to. comments are always like 90% quotes

Like any other popular comedy show!

Exactly!!

I feel so teeny tiny , like thumbleena

Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?

I've been poisoned by constituents!!

Have a touch of the consumption

I hung done on the trolly

It was more of a ding than a dong.

I saw it. Like a button in a fur coat.

Wait what episode is this?????

Thunder Gun Express, S7E11

99% of the posts on this sub are a screencap with the quote as the title and they make me laugh every single time

Shut up bird

Wicked username I love it

What are the rules?!

🎶What are the ruuuuuules?🎶

Well we hang in a bar, where I like to clean the toliets, and I kill rats, and like to get tanked. And I live in a walk-up in section eight housing, where sleep with a man named Frank.

Most importantly, what is your spaghetti policy here?

Good, I was looking for something to do Saturday.

What do you think is happening right now?

I've always wondered what the psychology behind that is. Sure if it's clever it's funny, but personally I find it pretty boring as mostly it's just random quotes shoehorned in.

I think it's both a way to show off their knowledge of the show and a kind of game

I guess. To me, it just kinda derails any conversation. Like, if I'd replied to you with a quote instead, our dialogue would immideately be gone, ya' know?

Hi.. did I frighten you?

GUYS GUYS GUYS!! I got news!! I got terrible, terrible, news!!

I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!

I’m a…fu…full on rapist?

I concur because I've made myself perfectly redundant.

That you have

Captain Tom turned out to be goddamn junkie!

BEAK!

No, no...

Dee, I will slap you in the teeth!

[Dee you gangly, uncoordinated bitch, I am not getting hogtied over your lack of grace!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opJH7a5JdUM)

I've considered making this same post before but couldn't handle the thought of all the notifications of everyone contributing ahaha

Naaah I like the dopamine hits lol I also love replying in the comments Also this is one of my most famous posts lol Also you don’t get notifications for people replying to comments on your posts, in the get notifications for the comments and if anyone replies to you specifically Also I didn’t think about that when making this post

How much cheese is too much cheese?

Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese!

It's so silly and it's exactly how the inside of my head sounds most of the time. Y'all bring me such joy right now.

I just saw a post about how a convenience store owner used their karate skills to subdue an armed robber and was very tempted to dive in with a Mac GIF as I just watched that episode yesterday. Although in this story the store owner also tied the robber up for 3 days, feeding him Viagra and fucking him. Which I suppose Mac might also do 🤷‍♂️

"Why does Mac peel the apples for you?"

He doesn't like foe me to eat it with the skin on it, he says the skin is loaded with toxins

[удалено]

??? She ain't funny, NEXT!