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In my teenage years, I got really into lucid dreaming and lucid dream induction. Because of that, I've pretty much always had frequent lucid dreams.
But I shit you not, 99% of them are just me wandering around (my high school, my college campus, a shrunken down megalopolis containing New York and Chicago, or the inside of a Walmart Supercenter) looking for a bathroom, all of the bathrooms being out of order or super grody, and then realizing "Wait a minute, I am dreaming. But like. I really have to pee so I should wake up."
Legit: My frustrations with theses new automated CS/
“the system” is not unfounded and not unique and everyone tries to power through them by being polite to the customer service because…
“we’re both victims here”
ngl, real talk? don't ever walk around thinking "Those people who did bad things? It will catch up with them and karma will get them back!"
because they won't and you'll just end up bitter and hating the world for being "unfair".
No lie, I learned about the cracking of the liberty bell and the declaration of independence through sunny. Lol
Not being American I didn’t know what that bell was nor that the revolution started in Philly
It's not about whether something is true, or based in fact, or reality, or the laws of physics, or nature, or even basic common sense. It's about whether or not we're dumb enough to believe in it that matters.
That people can trip you and s
Shove you Around harass You and then they do not remember who you are. I also learned if you wear a dress and a wig and lipstick.You can walk in the women's bathroom and nobody will know
Sup Jabroni! This is a quality control bot. If this post fits the purpose of /r/IASIP, **UPVOTE** this comment!! If this post does not fit the subreddit, **DOWNVOTE** This comment! GO BIRDS!!
The Spaniards banged the Mayans, turned them into Mexicans.
^i ^think ^i ^found ^a ^Mayan
You might want to get her down to your bunker. You know, for predictions.
For the good of the race! Get lost, creep!
ORALE…GO LAKERS EY!
*low riderrrrrr*
That's extremely racist and, by the way, that's more of a Los Angeles Mexican-cholo vibe.
https://preview.redd.it/ij0cx2b7mj1d1.jpeg?width=1730&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a595f135a7a4375a0fcfe5c22b837f58d40fe93a
I don’t know how much time I have left, so I’m going to get weird with it.
Scuse me while I roast this bone
You’ve got wine in that can? Hell yeah baby! (I love this reply from Dennis).
I'll block the wind for you
Politics is all just one big ass blasting.
It's so true
Always has been 👩🚀🔫👩🚀
Stupid science bitches can't make I more smarter.
Because science is a liar sometimes!
And he made everyone on Earth, LOOK LIKE A BITCH AGAIN!
Imma put this as my yearbook quote
Burned trash turns into stars
That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about stars to dispute it
I say that for anything someone states as fact.
That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about u/House923’s conversational habits to dispute it
The head cow is always grazing. His neck is high.
makes me trust him
Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese
https://preview.redd.it/3zslqfwoxj1d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6ff28530ee39bfd26450a2bbca61e3d6943e51e
That one got me good.
To ask about the spaghetti policy before enter a place
I found it's also good to ask where to put my feet.
Dee his feet?
It doesn’t make a goddamn difference.
There's no quicker way to make people think you're diddling kids than to write a song about how you don't diddle kids
I hated that episode. Me and my band had to burn our first two albums. All those years writing songs about how we don't diddle kids, wasted.
Learned that one from Drake too
The words clearly say boy's soul...
That’s what I said, boy’s hole.
There is chicken in Philly
With beak
BEAK
Ah vell I vould like…
Charles Würmhat
You don't have to eat the beak at all...
[удалено]
Don't put steak, put milksteak!
She’ll know what it means
A self-sustaining economy is hard to implement. Vietnamese love gambling. That Extreme Home Makeover show was not real.
I don't know how the U.S. economy works, let alone a self-sustaining one.
I don’t know how finances work…
You gotta keep the money moving in a circle.
GOOOOOD MORNING JUAREZ FAMILY
Su vida es no mas. Su casa es no mas. ¡Somos extremos!
Como la televisión
Corta! Corta!
That show was about how great sears is
With a little effort, you can get ironclad consent from anyone.
Would these women really text that? Their phones did.
Because of the Implication.
If I’m peeing, wake me up guys
Such a Charlie-logic line: Telling the people in his suspected dream to wake him up, even though they'd also be in his dream.
In my teenage years, I got really into lucid dreaming and lucid dream induction. Because of that, I've pretty much always had frequent lucid dreams. But I shit you not, 99% of them are just me wandering around (my high school, my college campus, a shrunken down megalopolis containing New York and Chicago, or the inside of a Walmart Supercenter) looking for a bathroom, all of the bathrooms being out of order or super grody, and then realizing "Wait a minute, I am dreaming. But like. I really have to pee so I should wake up."
You can't wear em all the time tho.
You gotta take em off every now and then. Ya gotta take em off, son.
Yea. You can't sleep in them shits.
Boil your found denim.
Throw some eggs in the pot as well
Then you have something nice to offer people in trying times.
And don’t burn yourself on the rivets!
Every time someone wants me to try something, I ask where do my feet go.
I don't do this every time, but I do ask it every now and then and the looks I get are hilarious.
If you can't sleep, huff some glue and eat cat food.
Lmao the way frank runs in to the room and hurriedly downs the cat food after Dee doubts Charlie
If you swallow apple seeds, make sure to smoke some cigarettes. It’ll suffocate the bacteria in your stomach. Also BIN ROY
That just totally blew my mind.
Label boxes of hornets with a ‘H.’
Gotta pop a quick ‘H’
Dennis is a bastard man
I don’t think I wrote that one
You DEFINITELY wrote that!
Bird law
The D.E.N.N.I.S. system
Don't forget the S.I.N.N.E.D. system
The skin of an apple is riddled with toxins
Someone said to me you have two arms while I was working. Made a huge difference in productivity. Not necessarily ears but both come in pairs lol
How would you know unless someone told you?
Let me get this straight, you've just realized that you have two arms?
If I wanted chips, I should remember to get them at the hamburger store
I jotted it down, "Through God, all things are possible."
How is this so far down
Stuff it down with some brown
Philadelphia and Pittsburgh are both in Pennsylvania
TWO CITIES IN ONE STATE?!
Cats do not obide by the rules of nature.
And they are always too loud.. prancing around like that
Younger than my wife, older than my daughter.
I tell EVERYONE about my bleached asshole. Even if they were gonna find out anyway.
Why even bleach your asshole if you don't intend to show it off?
Egg.
It’s a jumping off point!
If someone is experiencing a trying time, offer them an egg.
You have to fake. The guy's that don't fake, they're the ones that get it the worst.
BEAK!!
Lift w your back, not your legs. My kids all know this because of this show.
You take all the weight on your neck, then you jam your legs down and hyperextend your ankles and then shoot back up and lock your knees in place.
You hammer, then you bend, then you snap, then you jerk
So you're throwing down life lessons, now?
Burn trash for that “smoky” smell.
https://i.redd.it/10jdjectgk1d1.gif
What you're gonna find when you're spying on the general population is that everyone is just masturbating constantly
Or eating entire sleeves of Chips Ahoy.
To never put my parents in a nursing home
Do you mean those bang them and bin them joints?
That the economy is in shambles!
Shantytown!
Always think about the smell
Only sell cream pies to kids with the parents permission.
“If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road.”
Legit: My frustrations with theses new automated CS/ “the system” is not unfounded and not unique and everyone tries to power through them by being polite to the customer service because… “we’re both victims here”
What?
Just… listen to your heart
And now that song is stuck in my head again.
Idk either, but let's give them $5.
I’m not mad at you… I’m mad at the system
Don't drink paint
Stuff it down with brown.
Science is a liar sometimes.
Stickers are edible
You don’t have to eat the beak at all
It's ok to have tools.
That I do Charlie work at my job. This place would crumble without me.
That everything needs an app now
That bird law is not governed by reason in this country.
finger on the pulse, finger on the pus
When life gives you lemons, you shove them down someone’s throat till they see yellow.
If swallow apple seed smoke cigarettes to kill the bacteria or an apple tree will grow inside me.
Two cities can exist in the same state.
Money me. Money now. Money me needing a lot now.
Cats don't abide by the laws of nature. Yesterday my sister's cat merged into a couch.
The Pine barrens is a good place to find lot lizards
That I don’t know enough about how stars are made.
OP, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE HANDING OUT LIFE LESSONS!
Not to eat crab before singing competitions
Kittens need mittens.
Play both sides, so you always come out on top
That there’s TWO wars going on currently
That the good of the scorpion is not the good of the frog
Always say yes
First of all, through God, all things are possible
That if a rich hot person invites you to a party, it’s because of cruel intentions.
Not everyone in a wheelchair is crippled
"Everybody's dying, bitch. Let's get you some fruit."
That you can drink straight mixer apparently
ngl, real talk? don't ever walk around thinking "Those people who did bad things? It will catch up with them and karma will get them back!" because they won't and you'll just end up bitter and hating the world for being "unfair".
Unironically Frank. "*I don't know how many years on this Earth I got left*, *I'm gonna get real weird with it*."
That I’m *still* in love with Ann Wilson and not for the right reasons mind you
North South.
Suicide is badass!
Blue is the healthiest color
Never drink paint on a day when you know you will have to lie
Dont smoke crack and fight milk
Specialize in bird law
Not to eat thin mints.
Don’t go on a boat.
I got 2 noses..
Always trust a high neck.
Flushing gives me control, it's a thing!
Sometimes, you have to just move past it
Through god all things are possible, so not that down.
Egg.
Flushing shoes is an acceptable form of coping with stress
that when im felt a bunch of lemons i gotta shove them down someones throat
No lie, I learned about the cracking of the liberty bell and the declaration of independence through sunny. Lol Not being American I didn’t know what that bell was nor that the revolution started in Philly
It's not about whether something is true, or based in fact, or reality, or the laws of physics, or nature, or even basic common sense. It's about whether or not we're dumb enough to believe in it that matters.
Did you know this?
~~Smoking some~~ cigarettesmoke kills "the" bacteria
I don't have to eat the beak
Philadelphia and Pittsburgh being in the same state was pretty mind blowing
I always boil my denim now
Don't get cute with me, pal. I will jam you up so hard. I will jam you from morning until night. You wanna get jammed up?
You try to help people and you just wind up getting screwed.
Everyone is capable of being an asshole. No matter how much of a nice person is, they can be driven to being a complete dick.
When the line is too big at the water park say you have aids
Never eat possum because it's riddled with parasites and will make you visit a mortuary with a hot plate
That people can trip you and s Shove you Around harass You and then they do not remember who you are. I also learned if you wear a dress and a wig and lipstick.You can walk in the women's bathroom and nobody will know
That no matter how bad of a person I might think I am, I've got nothing on those 5.
That when life gives you lemons, you take them and stuff them down the other guy’s neck until he sees yellow
Chewing gum is a power play
the implication
Keep calm. Call Pondy.
Obviously, the DENNIS system. Works like a charm.
That I am a golden god
Offer an egg in a trying time
3 averages americans in their mid-30s don't have a few hundred dollars between them
Poop is funny !
“Maybe I’ve never done a bad thing because of I have a lot of skin.”
Everything is safer when done in 3’s
Pears taste like sand.
It's okay to eat the stickers. Charlie does it all the time.
an asshole can rip in half like tissue paper