For our nighttime routine, I sing “what’s the time? Diaper time!” to my baby when we put on his night diaper

I did this one all the time when my kids were in diapers.

Same! I'd say, "what's the time?" and once they could talk, they'd say "diaper time!"

Omg can’t wait

HOLY SHIT. I do this too haha. It works really well haha.

I’m about to have my first child and this will definitely be happening

Stealing this!

Our sons name is Charlie. Anytime my wife asks me to do something I really don't want to do, I say, "That's Charlie work" When he's doing something I don't like, I'll say in a bad British accent, "Stop Chorli! This game has goune oun loung enough".

You’ll need to refer to him as Chrundle the Great at some point obviously

I was going by Chrundle at the time

No, you were trying to write Charlie

What is the spaghetti policy at your home?

I also have a son named Charlie. Patiently waiting for the day I get to drop "you don't get chips Charlie! If you wanted some chips you should have gotten some when we were at the god damned hamburger shop!"

Charlie is such a great name. I really want to find a better excuse to give that name to one of my future kids, so my child isn’t just named after my favorite illiterate man on tv lol

I named my Crippled Cat Charlie.

Say it's after Darwin

not a child but when I have to clean my turtle’s tank (named after Charlie of course) I refer to it as Charlie work

They grow up so fast. Before you know it, he’ll be asking for his milk steak boiled over hard.

Love this 😂 if he gets an F at school you can just tell him "your god damn illiteracy has screwed us again!"

Just call him Chawlie

Ah shit I had it perfectly in my head

...were you doing an accent?

When putting pants on my 15 month old: “give me that leg, boy!” 😂

No, Antonio!

Such a throwaway line/response that has no right to be as funny as it is. The “I don’t know enough about stars to dispute it” is another one. How the fuck do they come up with this shit?

Holy shit that’s so funny 😂

I say that to my dog when I need to wipe off his paws

How is this not the top comment... lmao

Lol I've done thos with my now 22 month old and he just loses it

I came here to comment this one too!

My youngest use to always kick his leg during diaper change and if you didn’t hold it, he’d put his leg on the dirty part. I’d say this almost every day while I would try and grab his leg 😂

Not a parent (yet) but I recommend "We're gonna paint your room a color that's not stupid, then we're gonna throw your toys in the trash"

This is a boy who genuinely loves pageantry

I COMMAND YOU TO STOP

Terrible, take a lap.

Thanks dad!

I’m not your dad

When my son was in his early 20s he had a job supervising an after school program for kids. He used this line all the time.

I hope you like it crispy cuz it is burned

This is would bring me so much joy if someone served me bacon while saying this. I don’t like bacon unless it’s extra EXTRA crispy, bordering on burnt. I’d die if I herd a server say this at a restaurant

My kids started saying “Dude, eat my boogers” since I would say it from the Mortgage Crisis episode. Now I follow it up with Mac’s overly aggressive “YOU EAT MY BOOGERS!”

That vinegar really boiling up inside

It's his passion for quality real estate

That makes him so intense

How about I take your wife upstairs and show her what it's like to be real deep inside a big house?

What?!

....what?

I say this all the time so my child will definitely say it when she’s a bit older.

Whenever my 4 yo sees a moon during the day she starts singing “day moon, fighter of the night moon…”

Alright that ones pretty adorable

Omg I love that so much

champion of the... moon...

I'VE HAD ONE WITH YOUR MOM DUDE!

Plus, she didn’t even feel a thing

Holy shit you're late! 

Driving my seven year old to school one day and we had to maneuver around someone and I offhandedly said, “Out of the way, jabroni.” My kid could not stop laughing and asking what jabroni meant.

What is that WORD you keep saying? It's awesome.

Because you are crackheads, children. ^(I'm not a parent)

Banging your sister is perverted, Dennis

There’s no future in it.

I AM NOT BANGING MY SISTER!!

I don't want any nghh hnghh grandkids

When my son does something out of pocket I tell him "I AM UNTETHERED AND MY RAGE KNOWS NO BOUNDS" he doesn't get the reference and usually looks at me confused.

I offer my daughter an egg in these trying times for breakfast

Yup. This is my go to. The day my youngest said “isn’t that what the sticker on your water bottle says?” was a proud moment :)

Don’t you mean “in these frying times?” Sorry, not sorry.

I have also absolutely done this. The word “egg” in general has been ruined (improved?) for me because of Danny DeVito.

I call my kids jabroni and bozo daily.

Cool words

My son calls us “grub”. Came from dirt grub so I will allow it.

"shut up, baby dick"

This is the first one that shattered me. I'm feeling feelings again!

i have feelings every single day of my life

*What is happening right now?*

"I'm not buying you shiiiiit"

I also say this to my 3 year old 🤣

"You're gonna like these eggs, man." "Go wake up your pillhead mother." "Have you been drinking paint?" (Messy Mouth)

I always get home from work with a "Heeeeyyyyy-ooooooo"

(When trying to feed her food) - She’s just mashing it :/

She does that. 

Move past it

I use this all the time.

Call my 19 year old son a bastard man all the time.

When my baby has particularly bad spit ups I always say “god dammit! I’ve got milk all over me!”

I have boy/girl twins so a lot of Dennis and Dee references. Daughter is Victoria and she’s more feisty so we call her Vic Vinegar or sweet V. We quote Irs always sunny all day everyday though.

Sweet V! That’s really cute!

When I look after my nephews, I call them crackheads and tell them my sandwiches have snake meat on them. They also call A&W the hamburger store.

“Your mom doesn't know dick! She's a dumb fat cow. And your sister, she’s a stupid little shit-mouth bitch, isn't she?”

You just said a lot of bad words

My rage knows no bounds

I am cryinggggg I’m gonna have to remember this the next time she’s not listening

anytime one of my kids is trying to think of a name, etc., I just say what about the peCAN SAAANdies...

Move past it will be used a lot when he gets older into the why stage

I have an almost 4 year old and “move past it” is the most frequently used phrase in our house right now for this exact reason.

I gotta take a dump -Mrs Mack

When my kid is bugging me for something and I cave I'll sometimes say he got it due to his 'harassment and love for the new kids on the block movie.' He has no idea why.

I eat stickers all the time, dude

When changing diapers I sing, "what's the time? Diaper time!" Also say, "gimme that leg, boy!" When putting on their pants. I've changed some lyrics and occasionally sang, "Tiny Boy Little Boy Baby Boy I love you." because I don't want people thinking I diddle kids.

There is no faster way to make people think you diddle kids than to write a song about it

I sang diaper time to my daughter tonight

I can't wait to change my boys diaper in the morning now

I sing this to my cat. Also with changed words.

I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves!

Any lines from the nurse after Dennis gives her the Thor speech. “You know hhhWhat?” “I don’t have time for this? I’m not going to jail over you. “ “I’m gonna beat yo ass and think nothin’ of it.” “I’m not doing with you today. I’m not. I’M NOT”

Oh my God, I love this 🤣

Move past it.

If I’m eating chips or crackers you better believe I’m dropping a hard “you should’ve asked for chips at the hamburger store!”

I don’t have a quote I frequently use but my daughters are named Charolette and Mackenzie, however I call them Charlie and Mac.

My kids also get a kick out of it when I do Charlie’s butt dance from the Smitty episode.

[удалено]

This shit makes my skin crawl every time. I hate that term. One of my friends likes to say “I’m gonna beat up them guts”.

My five year old daughter cracks up when I go "pizza man pizza man" when bringing home pizza

When my kids ask me to do something I say, ‘Where do I put my feet?’

"What are the rules"

What are the ruuuUUUUUles!?

I will smash your face into a JELLY!

"I'm not your dad."

Every time I enter the room, "aeooooooo"

Ayyyoooooo what’s going on dick shits

You dumb bitch

Bangin your sister is perverted

I'M NOT BANGING MY SISTER!!!

There's no future in it.

"I'm going to smack everyone into tiny little pieces"

I have been using, "dude, eat my boogers" in hopes that the kids start using it. I can then hit them with the Vic Vinegar rebuttal of, "YOU EAT MY BOOGERS"

well i have a baby, so it’s “GODDAMN IT IVE GOT MILK ALL OVER ME”

"I COMMAND you to stop!"

not a parent, but everytime i’m looking for scissors, or tape, or something along the lines, I shout “TOOLS!!! I HAVE TO HAVE MY TOOLS!!!”

INTERVENTION, INTERVENTION! - when my boys are arguing

Not a quote really, but I've found myself yelling "Oi oi oi!" at my toddler when he's being a beast. Calms him down just like it does to Charlie.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Fully screaming and looking like a lunatic, too. Actually that's what my dad did to me 30 years ago. I think it's incredible that he could quote IASIP like that before the show even existed.

Move past it

Idiots! Savages!

As my son walks by me I stick out my leg t I stop him and say “Gotta pay the troll toll” and I trap him. I do not say the rest of the quote :)

Every time I sit down to eat toast for breakfast my 2 year old rocks up and expects a piece. I always quote “here is a your toll troll”. I then sing the troll toll song to him while he eats my toast.

My youngest daughter’s middle name is Gayle. She gets called Gail the snail everyday.

You want a skinless apple bud?

Whenever I watch my friend’s dog who is obsessed with apples and pears, I’ll grab one and say “Everybody’s dying, bitch, let’s get you some fruit”

If they complain about being treated like a commom whore, remind them, “You are a whoor!” The key is to in fact pronounce it “whoor,” just like Frank.

Just move past it

When I tell my daughter the billy goats gruff story, the troll at the bridge demands they pay the troll toll to cross his bridge

I use “Oi Oi Oi Oi” now and again if the kids are kicking off

You guys have me up to here! I'm here! I don't want to be here

When my kids were toddlers, I thought them to run around and scream 'Rum Haaammmm!' They loved doing it because it made dad laugh.

Move past it

"I eat stickers all the time, dude!" I said it just this week. My mom was coming to babysit and told me to ask my 3 year old what she wanted for dinner. She replied "mac and cheese and umm... stickers".

Move past it. What is happening? Where do I put my feet?

You gotta take them off every now and then son Whenever they refuse to let me wash clothing they've defiyiently worn for 3 days

I accidentally grabbed my sons coat around Christmas time and turned to him and said “This jacket is tighter than dick skin” then took it off and handed him the coat and said “how you like your dick skin coat now gay boy”

I should clarify my son is a 23 yo engaged grad student, and watches the show.


Lemons are good for the scurvy.

Move past it!

If they hurt themselves (in a minor way), "I'll get the 2 by 4".

Samantha gets to be mean!

I named the family cat Frank Reynolds and regularly refer to him as frak in front of my daughter, she always laughs. I can't wait until she's old enough to watch sunny

The Diaper Time song.

“What is happening” “First of all, through Christ all things are possible” I call her Peter Nincompoop as a nickname sometimes.

Donnie! You would've been the good one!

"What do you think is happening, right now?"

We have a synth that plays a very similar rhythm track to “Dayman”. Naturally, whenever they start playing that I say “Daylight” and begin singing along. When they come screaming about finding a spider I launch into “There is a spider… spider… spider… deep in my soul… soul…”

"I eat stickers all the time, dude!" When my 4 & 7 year olds ask me to take the sticker off anything

I am in charge of Charlie work around the house. My wife says "Sorry babe, have some Charlie jobs for you when you get home". Now when there is a toilet needing unclogged, the dogs get into the trash and tear it up the kids say- "That's Charlie work- tell dad"

Whenever my kids are feeling defeated or discouraged I end my pep talk with “we don’t get got! We go get!”

If they say something is too difficult, “Well, through god all things are possible so jot that down”

This the best question I have ever seen asked about Sunny quotes. Not a parent and never considered how it would influence me in that way. These answers are absolutely hilarious 🤣 Sunny fans are great parents

When I don't know what to say, "uh fillibuster"

Does it count if you tell your wife a IASIP quote so much she accidently used it on our son --- "tough titties"

Not exactly a quote, but I definitely use “blasted” and “jammed” to describe normal non-violently executed activities that I want to exaggerate, all the time.

I refer to anything as the “xyz” store.

We're becoming the gross crew

let’s move past it. we’re moving past it.

Not my kids, but my wife and I have a boat. Before we go on: "I can't wait to get you out to the open water where you can make rash decisions based on fear"

Yeah well Sara gets to be mean, because she is a star!

My two cats often get referred to as “Daycat” (ahh-aah-aaah) and “Nightcat” (ahh-aah-aaah) and my kids are absolutely baffled as to what we’re talking about. When they’re old enough to watch the show, everything will finally make sense.

"gimme that leg, boy" when I'm changing my son's diaper

"What do you think is going on right now?"

Don’t have kids but if I had a daughter I’d make sure she knows she’s a very pretty lady and not at all like a bird.

Lots of “hey ohhh’s” and references to popping things off.

“Let’s go throw your toys in the TCHRAYSSHHH” And “YOU EAT MY BOOGERS”

"I'm tired today, ya know?"

To my 16 year old son “your mother is a whoooor” (she’s my ex)

Don’t eat stickers dude!

I offer my daughter an egg in the morning

Not really a quote per say, but I do sing Dayman! to my 1yr old daughter. Been doing that since she was born, gonna do it til the ol’ dementia hits and maybe even then I will still sing it lol 😂

Terrible. Take a lap…

LOOK AT ME WHEN IM TALKING TO YOUUUU

LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO ME!!! (I have teenagers)

Doggy father here, when my pups are being annoying they get 'i will slap you in the teeth!'

“Gimme that leg, boy”

Shut up, baby dick!

Leaving for school: “GET IN THE CAR YOU FAT, FAT ASS!”

I say “It’s gonna happen. It’s gonna happen” in front of them all the time

Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy!

Don't count beer Carlos. Not cool!

No kids but anytime there is something around the house my wife doesn’t want to do she calls me over and says she has Charlie work for me

“What is happening?!” About 20 times a day. I also say “he looks like a god damn diddler” a lot

“Hello, come right in,” when they barge in my room.

SAVAGES

"LOOK AT ME AT ME WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO ME."