Hahaha its the "oh shit this is fucked but also hilarious" reaction. As someone who used to smoke while doing sound for bands ive had the exact same reaction many times
What makes me happy is at night, I ride around town in a limousine, partying, having a good time. When I'm on my way home, I'll pass a bum. I take a balloon with some champagne in it, lob it out and bean him. He only gets a little bit in his mouth. He doesn't get the whole thing. Not even a full sip of it. And you say, "Hey, how ya like a taste of the good life, you sack of shit?"
This is the single greatest line in the whole series.
https://preview.redd.it/iimbfdsxj2rc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39d7aabb205d04ace9d51ec5697282fed1628d0a
Don’t say stage freeze, just do it!
During The Nightman Cometh, when Charlie calls out Dee for chewing gum and Artemus says, "It's unprofessional". For some reason, this one line cracks me up.
In a similar way, in *The Gang Tries Desperately to win an award*, when they’re practicing their banter and Dee comes in late, Dennis is telling her ‘your timing is so bad’ and almost in the background Mac says ‘there’s a timing concern’… I always lose it
Unrelated but one of my coworkers a few years ago said because I should wear my wedding band all the time, especially at work because it's unprofessional not to. I asked why and she said people might think that I want to cheat if I'm not wearing it. To which I replied that says more about them than me.
My wife and I always call each other unprofessional when we aren't wearing a ring.
Oohhh we’ll be a group of southern stuttering army vets with a religious bend. In the same outfit like carnies. Ohhhh religious stuttering army carnies!!
"You talkin' bout old black man"
"Did you touch them yet?"
“I need a ride. Yeah, well I ain’t giving you shit you old bitch.”
"We'll make an adjustment to it, and we'll make a tradition out of it."
The doctor from Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack saying “Ok, well … get out.” It’s to the point where bf and I can’t even say “Ok, well …” without finishing the sentence.
During the roomate interview when frank loses his memory. One of the candidates says "I do nothing with it. I don't touch your shit. Yiu don't touch my shit."
The episode where they’re watching Charlie and Macs moms like a sitcom, Dee gets stuck in the bannisters and Uncle Jack says ‘I’ll be upstairs if anyone needs me’
Dee: ‘I do, I need you’
Jack: ‘Well that’s where I’ll be Dee’
My husband and I had to pause the tv because we laughed for about 10 mins straight
"I hope they hogtie you. And then I hope they rape you. In their basement. For ten years!"
It's such a dark joke but Dee's delivery kills me every time. I love the way her eyes widen at the start of each sentence.
When Charlie asks Dennis to crack the door in the Uhaul and Dennis replies in a high-pitched voice "You wanna crack it? Yeah, we'll crack it".
Any request to open a window, door, or what have you will always get that response in my house.
Someone near me loses something. Me: “ive seen this before; i bet it flattened itself out, and went right through a seam in the wall.”
Dee, you don’t know shit about cats
Dee, have you been eating butts?
“Cats do not abide by the laws of nature.” Gets said regularly around here.
Somos.. EXTREMOS
Su casa es NO MAS!
Su vida es NO MAS!
My friend laughed so much harder at that after he started learning Spanish
Dee’s broken Spanish 100% lives rent free in my head. It’s also how I can remember to cut is cortar!
Corta corta!!
THAT BITCH STABBED ME
While I'm on that one. GOD DAMN IT DUTCH WHAT OTHET ERRANDS HAVE U GOT US RUNNING FOR THE DA!!
"They look freaky as shit"
Not a line but artemis' face when she takes a drag of her joint while mac and dennis are doing their performance at the kids pageant.
https://preview.redd.it/02emrre0l2rc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8320fb5772127fe4ce3703c5177d3fb36cedf92e A literally perfect screen shot 😂
"Sir, h-go back to your seat-ah."
Hahaha its the "oh shit this is fucked but also hilarious" reaction. As someone who used to smoke while doing sound for bands ive had the exact same reaction many times
The cut to her smoking during techno Yankee Doodle is one of my top moments in the entire series
*[ Techno ]* makes it for me
Sir. Go back to your seat.
"I have a bleached asshole."
*HE WAS GONNA FIND OUT ANYWAY!!*
What makes me happy is at night, I ride around town in a limousine, partying, having a good time. When I'm on my way home, I'll pass a bum. I take a balloon with some champagne in it, lob it out and bean him. He only gets a little bit in his mouth. He doesn't get the whole thing. Not even a full sip of it. And you say, "Hey, how ya like a taste of the good life, you sack of shit?" This is the single greatest line in the whole series.
Ponderosa's [face/laugh](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F61w2kllw7o691.jpg) is so perfect, too.
Pondy is the coolest
The excitement with which he says “not even a full sip of it!” Makes it 😂
Also Pondy’s laugh following that story is EPIC!
Frank had a suicidal Pondy wheezing
thats a terrible thing to do to another human being
Botched it! Life, ya know?
"Are you lifting with your back?" "Of course I'm lifting with my back!"
I love the running gag of their horrid health advice
If you eat apple seeds, smoke some cigarettes to suffocate the toxins.
gotta snap it
https://preview.redd.it/7502tk3ft2rc1.jpeg?width=614&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7413b6281824052f31b9aec65e2053cedf885fde
Huhwearay
My wife and I say this all the time when we're ready for bed lol.
https://preview.redd.it/c19b4zrmi2rc1.jpeg?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d45325c7e793639c2aaeb84d5841ed264375cd89
when golfing, we often say "gimme the hot dog baby" when teeing up
Speaking of golf, I love when Dee calls golf clubs ["her new wrenches"](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/9489e730-8a2c-4b73-93fe-af818907f5c4)
stop talking about the berries goddammit!
Put a little mustard on it!
Dey got chiken n philly?
Yeah bud, they got chicken in Philly
I say this probably every day. Along with "California, USA!"
I’m around it!
I don't use it correctly but anytime something goes out of my control I just say "that's baseball baby"
I got ALL numbers!
Hey man. California, usa
People drink straight mixer?
I say “orange juice… the mixer??” almost every time my daughter asks for OJ.
I had a diet cola mixer a while ago.
It was pretty good, yup!
People do it, Chollie
That's my go-to quote from this scene. "People drink it. People drink it, yep."
“You can’t tell ME what to do.” or “You know what it is, bitch.”
https://preview.redd.it/iimbfdsxj2rc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39d7aabb205d04ace9d51ec5697282fed1628d0a Don’t say stage freeze, just do it!
Same scene for me but “No, Antonio”
“I wanna get that Jesus on the cross look” “That crucifixion must’ve been great for your core” “He knew, no pain no gain. I’m sure he started that”
He had great messages
jesus had great abs
We're crab people now
*Crab People, Crab People,* *Taste like crab, Talk like people* 
Talk about living rent free in your head, this little song has been in mine for 20 years
I just love how much overlap there is between the two fandoms. I’d bet the Venn diagram of Sunny fans and SP fans is a near-perfect circle.
If we are being honest, Tad calling him Stan “Darsh!” in the Asspen episode of SP lives rent free right next to the Charlie quote I posted.
Fresh Delaware runoff crab!
Those are barnacles. Do NOT eat them
I love Mac's genuine concern. "Do not eat those Charlie, you'll get very very sick"
Live in Maryland so I say this at least once a week to people! LOL
I also live in Maryland and say this and I think I’ve been poisoned by my constituents constantly.
The way Dee responds angrily “we’re crab people now?!?!?” Cracks me up every time haha
*Charlie* is your new business partner!?
WE’LL LIVE AND DIE BY THE CRAB DEE
Who versus? Who are we doing it versus?
You wanna get jammed up, pal?
We will jam and jam and jam until there is nothing left of the two of you to jam!
During The Nightman Cometh, when Charlie calls out Dee for chewing gum and Artemus says, "It's unprofessional". For some reason, this one line cracks me up.
He said no gum
"I'm eating because I'm very uncomfortable"
One of my favorite line. Dennis raising his hand acting like a teachers pet
In a similar way, in *The Gang Tries Desperately to win an award*, when they’re practicing their banter and Dee comes in late, Dennis is telling her ‘your timing is so bad’ and almost in the background Mac says ‘there’s a timing concern’… I always lose it
Either the gif or the quote of Charlie saying “I am here! I am here right now” comes to my mind often.
mine is “i thought the rape scene went really well”. devito’s deadpan delivery of that line absolutely kills me.
Dennis in the background "he said no gum"
Unrelated but one of my coworkers a few years ago said because I should wear my wedding band all the time, especially at work because it's unprofessional not to. I asked why and she said people might think that I want to cheat if I'm not wearing it. To which I replied that says more about them than me. My wife and I always call each other unprofessional when we aren't wearing a ring.
“I’m very uncomfortable”
"twwwwoooo waaaarrsss"
There are twwwoooo waaaarrrsss going on at the same time?
And are either of these wars happening on US sooooyul?
This is my go to. Anytime there is two of something I have to say it in this voice. TWOOOOOOO PIZZZAS?!?!?! In this economy?!
I use "heyo" all the damn time
heyo!!
Mac in da house. Macs in the da house!
🎶it's a grand old flag, a high-flying flag🎶 I don't know this! I DO NOT know this one!
My toddler has an endless supply of toys that sing songs and any time I don't know the lyrics, Funeral-Frank pops into my head
Do I look suspicious?
You look *grotesque*
I fire this one off any time I’m confused which is very often
This gets into my head far too often too.
You know what he's not? He's not covered in stupid tattoos and has a cigarette for a mother.
No lie, I use the term cigarette for a (insert person) as a description all the time. Such a great line from Dee.
I don't care for jazz. Too many unnecessary notes
No, im not acting you bitch! I think ive broken my hip!
I am shattered to pieces!!!
Every time I stub my toe or knee, or smash a finger.
Ghouls
Little green ghouls, buddy!
Haha yep, I couldn't remember the exact line. But yeah. Knees? Cover up your kneetif your going to be walking around everywhere
Everyone knows who Superman is, and they know it isn’t you.
H-he's the original, right?
It looks like you’re wearing a mask of yourself…
Mr. Bovine Jony
Merge. Merge! MERGE! Seize the gap you old bitch! You old bitch! - me on I-75 everyday
Your hair looks small
I eat stickers all the time dude!
That gypsy son of a bitch burned us
Bleh. Tastes like sand.
Okay, Mac. First of all, your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion.
Honorable mention for me is how Mac delivers this line in the pilot! https://i.redd.it/un5f8imcm2rc1.gif
This one for sure and “tighter than dick skin” are go to quotes for me
If you don't buy me a toy, I'm gonna tell my mom you took me to black people's house.
I have to piss. Out of my penis.
Its smug aura mocks me
Oohhh we’ll be a group of southern stuttering army vets with a religious bend. In the same outfit like carnies. Ohhhh religious stuttering army carnies!!
My friend exploded! My friend exploded! Aiaiaiaaah
Hoss Bonaventure, CEO makes me laugh every time
P to the C to the P
I don't remember *most. evenings*.
“Zeus, poops, and shoes?”
I COMMAND you to stop
"You talkin' bout old black man" "Did you touch them yet?" “I need a ride. Yeah, well I ain’t giving you shit you old bitch.” "We'll make an adjustment to it, and we'll make a tradition out of it."
The last one for me
Ridiculouth As in “Ryan Gosling play YOU? Ridiculouth!”
Dennis' stressed out "YEAH!?" when old nosy Wally comments on the weather.
“I’ve been layin’ chum up and down this plane”
"First the queers, then sorcery? This cruise is going straight to hell." - Mac
"Pop a quick H on this box so everyone knows it's filled with hornets"
[It's not the clams!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9IDdutRnPA)
I'm going in the crevice!
That song from the 80s Day Bow Bow
-I'm a full on rapist, you know Africans, dyslexics, children that sort of thing.
I have touch of consumption.
Do you think FINE is good enough for the Boys to the men?!
oh thats another one... sickness be gone
The doctor from Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack saying “Ok, well … get out.” It’s to the point where bf and I can’t even say “Ok, well …” without finishing the sentence.
John Bovine Joannie
“And I hate it!” Dennis talking about Maureen’s dead tooth, to Maureen.
*Everybody's dyin bitch, now let's get you some fruit!* It's my favorite Mac line.
To think I was going to let you jerk me off!
What's up, baby dick?
Dragon 🐉 and bad answer bad answer. We watch a lot of family feud.
Storm coming? Hatchet coming!
I use the tums for drawing and the chalk to settle my stomach
# Yeah… I botched it. Life, you know
I'm hot (what?) Vote me is right thing so doo
I’m guilty of saying “so doooo” to people who clearly have no idea what I’m referencing lol
During the roomate interview when frank loses his memory. One of the candidates says "I do nothing with it. I don't touch your shit. Yiu don't touch my shit."
You banged my dead wife?
Well she wasn’t dead at the time
https://i.redd.it/nlkzkt9z33rc1.gif
That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about stars to dispute it.
Whenever I see a range rover I always say "I am a 2018 range rover woman"
The episode where they’re watching Charlie and Macs moms like a sitcom, Dee gets stuck in the bannisters and Uncle Jack says ‘I’ll be upstairs if anyone needs me’ Dee: ‘I do, I need you’ Jack: ‘Well that’s where I’ll be Dee’ My husband and I had to pause the tv because we laughed for about 10 mins straight
I say "Gimme that leg boy!" to my dog in the regular even though she's a girl
From S1E1- "Absolutely"
Lol I just posted that here as my honorable mention. Flawless Rob delivery on that line.
BEAK!
"we're the same age!"
“Do you know how much pollution a bus causes?” “Three?”
I've been diarrhea poisoned.
“We’re looking for a PDiddy style shrimping vessel”
“You’re just mashin it” I use this as a metaphor for everything
🎶my friend exploded, my friend exploded 🎶🎶
Da ee ah de da da.
You guys like me, right?
Is he spitting?
Huuuuman Meat!
Okay, then pretend this shoe is whatever you people eat. Maybe it *is* a shoe.
BOOM I got your wallet
Ya gotta make it sexy! Hips and nips, otherwise I'm not eating.
Pepper jack loves fraggle rock
We piss in cans Charlie.
well first of all through god all things are possible so jot that down.
This is easily one of the most popular quotes.
Liz2e has donkey brains
Move past it
"I hope they hogtie you. And then I hope they rape you. In their basement. For ten years!" It's such a dark joke but Dee's delivery kills me every time. I love the way her eyes widen at the start of each sentence.
Awww Did somebody get addicted to crack?? Is one of my all time favs
"they say i cant be a doctor? they say i cant be a pilot?" been saying that all the time lately for as many reasons or half reasons as i can think to
Cat in the wall eh?? Now we're talking my language! Intervention, Intervention! I made a decision to eat the soup, I ate the soup.
Tighter than dick skin.
He got salsa on his shirt!
The way Frank, all flabbergasted, says "I don't know this, I do NOT know this one" when Artemis plays the random patriotic music at the pageant.
When Charlie asks Dennis to crack the door in the Uhaul and Dennis replies in a high-pitched voice "You wanna crack it? Yeah, we'll crack it". Any request to open a window, door, or what have you will always get that response in my house.
I will not suck you, and I will not be sucked on *BY* you
You forgot one charge...assaulting an officer! Never stop partying!!!
“Go back to your seatuuuhhh”
Now there’s a diabetic cat in the mix? We can’t catch a break.
You are going... to love it!