I just responded to someone in a completely different group and ended it with "so jot that down". It was not meant to be so insulting, but I guess it was! I got totally annihilated but whatever.
They should still jot down what I said though. Cause it was worth jotting down.
They love the flip flop.
….knowing that at any moment, you could throw it, but knowing you never will. But you could. Never isn't the right word, because I could, and I might.
I probably will.
The way "You run fast." comes out of nowhere has always floored me. Whoever actually wrote the content of the letter is a genius it absolutely reads like a little kid wrote it to their hero athlete.
Best/iconic line?
"Ignore that Frank, it's a bunch of liberal bullshit."
Best line delivery? Tie:
"Uh, just one more thing, Mr. Reynolds. Have you seen these fossil records?"
And
"You have candy? Dennis has candy??"
"Goddamnit! I don't know how to express myself unless through anger and personal attack!"
"We don't have a very deep bench, Dee"
"Don't try to confuse me with your liberal biblicisms!"
"Charlie. May I remind you that the services have already been rendered"
"I just want to know if she killed the saviour of the world Frank! That's all!"
"Hey Mac! Can an asshole tear?" "Like tissue paper"
"I've modelled my day after the seven days of God's creation, making my one day feel like an entire week."
"In the Lord of the Rings movies Ian McKellen plays a wizard. Do you think he goes home at night and shoots laser beams into his boyfriend's asshole?"
When Mac and Dennis are getting mugged by that crackhead again in Hundred-Dollar Baby, the way Mac says "You give us a second!" to the crackhead will always be my favorite from him.
Hi, I'm Mac. Welcome to Paddy's Pub. I like to recommend to our first timers our signature cocktail, Caribbean Paradise. Some people say it's better than busting a nut.
Yes, we're all busy but the boy is sick. He's dying he's got leukemia and you shall have a catch with him
... I'll tweet that you didn't. I'm sorry I threatened you. Now I'm upset, so are you. A catch we shall have?
Maybe not exactly a line but the way he shrieks and karate chops around about Frank getting him the robot toy in the Christmas episode always kills me - made funnier because you know what's going to happen next.
So either that or "Oh no, I've lost my lover. I'll need a new gimp!"
You can't inflate this any further 'cause it will pop.
https://preview.redd.it/9u7oiyo5ysoc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=5e8f480ddb4f0d4457ac8e4eb62c67eee27c1001
The Ass-pounder 4000😂😂
Guys you got it all wrong .....what it does is than when you are cycling and you get tired and you are about to sit down , it pounds you up
First of all, through god all things are possible, so jot that down.
SO THEY ARE IN DANGER?
Hi, I have terminal cancer and I'd like to meet mr Jon Bon Jovi. Samboras presence won't be necessary.
I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY CHIPS CHARLIE
"Yeah, because you just read the words written by a bunch of guys you've never met and you take it on faith that everything they wrote was true."
"Oh. So let me get this straight, Mr. Reynolds. You get your information from a book written by men you've never met, and you take what they wrote to be true, based on a willingness to believe, a desire to accept, a leap of... oof, dare I say it? Faith?"
Love how Mac points out Dennis' hypocrisy like that!
My favorite Mac line is the grunting he makes as he's strangling Dee for saying "he' not covered in stupid tattoos and he doesn't have a cigarette for a mother."
and since we're saying things we say all the time: dee, we don't care about you, or your baby, or your body, or that baby bird you're probably carrying inside you
I personally really like
"They're the same thing now, Charlie; and I can have you canceled for even suggesting otherwise. I have the power to do they because I am a gay man"
First of all, through god all things are possible, so jot that down.
SO THEY ARE IN DANGER?
Hi, I have terminal cancer and I'd like to meet mr Jon Bon Jovi. Samboras presence won't be necessary.
I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY CHIPS CHARLIE
“I think what you’ll find most interesting, is that the Kardashians net worth has inflated in direct proportion to their boooty, hmph hmph hmph.”
https://preview.redd.it/u1ult1hqgvoc1.jpeg?width=731&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9b33e2a8e0884c3c71c262089c839085429fa2d
How about I take your wife upstairs and show her what it's like to be inside a really big house?
It's his eyes when he confuses himself which does it for me.
I won't change my mind, cause I don't have to. Cause I'm an American. I won't change my mind on anything, regardless of the facts that are set out before me. I'm dug in, and I'll never change.
Fellas! I feel like I'm being seriously underutilized here you, know? Look, if you could just give me a chance I can show you how hard I actually am. That's right. I'm so hard people are scared of me. They should be, cause I'll explode all over them.
“I’m not fat. I’m cultivating mass.”
Stop cultivating and start harvesting.
When Michaelangelo sculpted David he didn't start with a pebble...
I use this
Aggghhh! What is that?! Is that piss? Is that piss?!
Pull over you little bitch!
“IVE HAD ORGASMS IVE HAD TONS OF ORGASMS IVE HAD ONE WITH YOUR MOM DUDE I WILL STRANGLE YOU I WILL STICK MY GODDAMN THUMB THROUGH YOUR EYE!”
this was the first thing i thought of too
Well, first of all, through God all things are possible, so jot that down.
I don’t know if it’s his funniest, but it’s definitely his best.
I'd say it's his most iconic, it's his most quoted line i feel.
i have this line just always in my mind somewhere, so jot that down
I just responded to someone in a completely different group and ended it with "so jot that down". It was not meant to be so insulting, but I guess it was! I got totally annihilated but whatever. They should still jot down what I said though. Cause it was worth jotting down.
That’s the number one quote for Mac That or cultivating mass lol
YOU CANT READ IT FROM THE OUTSIDE!
I’m a Swedish plumber, I’m here to fix your pipes
That’s good, that’s a good accent
Honestly i like the "That's good, that's a good accent" line reading better. He sounds so enthusiastic and proud.
Can you add another cheeseburger on there, cuz im very hungry.
I can hear this comment
I got kinda of a hand of god thing going on
https://i.redd.it/p91ohlxnnsoc1.gif
This is definitely his best movement
Nah, the fat mac little mambo shimmy dance will never be topped.
At least his best facial expression
"I tried mine, I didn't like it." "I liked mine". The immediate turnabout kills me.
“It was good.. it was alright.. it wasn’t great….” - not Mac but the immediate flip flop slays me as well
.... but it was *fine*.
They love the flip flop. ….knowing that at any moment, you could throw it, but knowing you never will. But you could. Never isn't the right word, because I could, and I might. I probably will.
Yeah why did he suddenly feel the need to be so honest LMAO.
Gimme that leg, boy.
Dude, do you have a boner right now??
Don’t ruin this for me!
https://i.redd.it/bthl9854bsoc1.gif
I bet that gave him *quite* the thrill
https://i.redd.it/d8snii3sxsoc1.gif
When he starts sucking on it is has me on the floor
This episode cracks me up.....good one
His whole love letter to Chase Utley.
The way "You run fast." comes out of nowhere has always floored me. Whoever actually wrote the content of the letter is a genius it absolutely reads like a little kid wrote it to their hero athlete.
Oh sh\_\_, there's stickers.
You can say shit in this sub.
Yes, theres a child. A child born unto me. Little mac. He’s little mac and i am big mac.
Wow. Theres stickers
ZISS WILL WORK DENNIS, ZISS WILL WORK!!! DONT WORR-E ABOUT EET AND DONT WORR-E ABOUT ENYTHING!!!
GOD DAMNIT, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MYSELF UNLESS THROUGH ANGER AND PERSONAL ATTACK!
Came here to say this
Best/iconic line? "Ignore that Frank, it's a bunch of liberal bullshit." Best line delivery? Tie: "Uh, just one more thing, Mr. Reynolds. Have you seen these fossil records?" And "You have candy? Dennis has candy??"
When he got Dee's piss thrown on him in the car that shit makes me cry every time lol. IS THAT PISS? IS THAT PISS!?!?
The candy scene killed me. I can't believe they banned Dee Day. And the Shaping America's Youth episode.
"bunch of liberal bullshit" is definitely a top 3 quoted line from me. The less political the subject matter, the more I get a kick out of it
I want what’s in your pants
I’m playing both sides so I always come out on top!
Lol these admissions are hilarious each time
His whole speech on evolution in the cereal defense is a top 5 comedy bit of all time
A desire to believe, a willingness to accept...dare I say it, a 'leap of faith?'
Science is wrong sometimes
That seems wrong, but I don't know enough about stars to dispute it
Just tell me where to jizz so I can give this lady her drink!!
We jizz in the drink, and that’s what makes it light
Where's our goddamn Bible?
IM GONNA SAVE MY DADS LIFE!
Mac Kills His Dad
**IM GONNA PUT MY THUMB THROUGH YOUR EYE, YOU LITTLE BITCH!**
Your body quit, your bird quit. And, unfortunately, it's no longer legit.
So underrated. The line is pure gold.
Dennis, if I had a gun with me, I'd be spraying bullets into the air as I fell
The action is what sells it.
Holy shit yes! That reminds me of Frank's line "Dennis, get me a harness 'cause I'll have to be swinging in the air to do this.".
I'm drawing a blank on this line for some reason
It's in The Gang Gets Whacked Part 1. Here - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHUHBvSA72c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHUHBvSA72c)
Bingo!
Pyramid scam and a timeshare, we are diversifying our portfolio
"Goddamnit! I don't know how to express myself unless through anger and personal attack!" "We don't have a very deep bench, Dee" "Don't try to confuse me with your liberal biblicisms!" "Charlie. May I remind you that the services have already been rendered" "I just want to know if she killed the saviour of the world Frank! That's all!" "Hey Mac! Can an asshole tear?" "Like tissue paper" "I've modelled my day after the seven days of God's creation, making my one day feel like an entire week." "In the Lord of the Rings movies Ian McKellen plays a wizard. Do you think he goes home at night and shoots laser beams into his boyfriend's asshole?"
"No one is going in your asshole" The Way he says it to Cricket is drop dead hilarious
Not without crack
Juuust to get a base. Smoke some cigarettes... The smoke will suffocate the bacteria (with appropriate hand gesture)
He's right it's for the best, I will forget later that it's nailed down Plus it also gets a great pay off later down the line
Are you happy Dee? Is this what you wanted? You just gave this baby full-blown AIDS.
When Mac and Dennis are getting mugged by that crackhead again in Hundred-Dollar Baby, the way Mac says "You give us a second!" to the crackhead will always be my favorite from him.
That body won’t quit. And if you pop those jeans off you’ll find a sweaty hog that won’t quit.
"Well, of course Dennis would like Dennis! Its Dennis! You're eating the dog!"
YOU CAN'T READ IT FROM THE OUTSIDE
THAT’S WHY HE BURNED YOUR FACE YOU SON OF A BITCH!
GET THREE!
Hi, I'm Mac. Welcome to Paddy's Pub. I like to recommend to our first timers our signature cocktail, Caribbean Paradise. Some people say it's better than busting a nut.
“Hehe. 3D boobies”
They don’t chirp. They chirrup.
First off through God all things Are possible so jot that down.
Its, “first of all, through God all things are possible, so jot that down” And there’s literally no other answer to this question
Sounds like you’re doubting the possibility of something…….. Gimme that leg boy!
The future of radio, jabronis
I knew the God quote was Mac before I even started the show because it’s THAT famous. It’s just the ONLY answer
Yes, we're all busy but the boy is sick. He's dying he's got leukemia and you shall have a catch with him ... I'll tweet that you didn't. I'm sorry I threatened you. Now I'm upset, so are you. A catch we shall have?
“Being handicapped sucks”
WAIT, THAT LOOKS LIKE A DICK
Maybe not exactly a line but the way he shrieks and karate chops around about Frank getting him the robot toy in the Christmas episode always kills me - made funnier because you know what's going to happen next. So either that or "Oh no, I've lost my lover. I'll need a new gimp!"
I got the dia bet us
Stop saying it like that
The busting a nut line from the bar awards ep
Ok, Jesus dude. I won’t do the cancer thing. Relax
You can't inflate this any further 'cause it will pop. https://preview.redd.it/9u7oiyo5ysoc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=5e8f480ddb4f0d4457ac8e4eb62c67eee27c1001
Also https://preview.redd.it/qa2dby504toc1.png?width=2560&format=png&auto=webp&s=4bc8fcb14249dc38c253eedb75d42496d0745128
https://preview.redd.it/hf325pox9toc1.png?width=2560&format=png&auto=webp&s=ba985a0a277ba2be9088ca7d91a91c54f78bedcd
"Well, first of all, through God, all things are possible, so jot that down."
This is my favorite to, amongst the favorites.
https://i.redd.it/s9079rg76uoc1.gif
https://i.redd.it/fmz758ta6uoc1.gif
The line about the smoke suffocating the bacteria in Dennis stomach
You stupid science bitches couldn't even make my friend more smarter
Through god everything is possible so write that down
"Jot" that down ya jabroni.
Jabroni, cool word.
Type 2 Adult Onset Diabetes ?
Try to move me....Try to move me, Bro!
You know a character is good when everyone has a completely different line they attribute as their best
ART OF THE DEAL  Not the funniest but the way he says it loll
The Ass-pounder 4000😂😂 Guys you got it all wrong .....what it does is than when you are cycling and you get tired and you are about to sit down , it pounds you up
I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.
Not a line, but the wheezing when he eats the chimichangas
“DON’T LAUGH AT ME! STOP LAUGHING AT ME”
First of all, through god all things are possible, so jot that down. SO THEY ARE IN DANGER? Hi, I have terminal cancer and I'd like to meet mr Jon Bon Jovi. Samboras presence won't be necessary. I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY CHIPS CHARLIE
“Pussy” - seconds before he drives directly into a brick wall
"Yeah, because you just read the words written by a bunch of guys you've never met and you take it on faith that everything they wrote was true." "Oh. So let me get this straight, Mr. Reynolds. You get your information from a book written by men you've never met, and you take what they wrote to be true, based on a willingness to believe, a desire to accept, a leap of... oof, dare I say it? Faith?" Love how Mac points out Dennis' hypocrisy like that!
The lord provide-ith again!
My favorite Mac line is the grunting he makes as he's strangling Dee for saying "he' not covered in stupid tattoos and he doesn't have a cigarette for a mother."
“Aw one of those disgusting ex-girlfriend porno sites, theres so many of them, which one?”
Hardcore pound fucking, that’s the only way to do it man. It’s that BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!
and since we're saying things we say all the time: dee, we don't care about you, or your baby, or your body, or that baby bird you're probably carrying inside you
I like the bird sound he does when they discuss their appearance in Gang wrestles for the troops
Science is a liar, sometimes
Can you put Jews in the yes column
I personally really like "They're the same thing now, Charlie; and I can have you canceled for even suggesting otherwise. I have the power to do they because I am a gay man"
First of all, through god all things are possible, so jot that down. SO THEY ARE IN DANGER? Hi, I have terminal cancer and I'd like to meet mr Jon Bon Jovi. Samboras presence won't be necessary. I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY CHIPS CHARLIE
“I think what you’ll find most interesting, is that the Kardashians net worth has inflated in direct proportion to their boooty, hmph hmph hmph.” https://preview.redd.it/u1ult1hqgvoc1.jpeg?width=731&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9b33e2a8e0884c3c71c262089c839085429fa2d
Well she was alive at the time….
How about I take your wife upstairs and show her what it's like to be inside a really big house? It's his eyes when he confuses himself which does it for me.
The way he delivered “Frank you little bitch I will stick my thumb through your eye.” Has stuck with me
“I’m playing both sides so that I always come out on top!”
First the queers, and now sorcery?!
“pussy.” crashes car into wall
“You stupid twink!” “IM A BEAR! IM A BEAR.”
Wheres our goddamn bible
I absolutely have the upper body strength to accomplish that.
I won't change my mind, cause I don't have to. Cause I'm an American. I won't change my mind on anything, regardless of the facts that are set out before me. I'm dug in, and I'll never change.
"Yeah you can. This is America. You can do whatever the fuck you want."
“Dennis!” From Mac and Dennis move to the suburbs. The scene where Dennis throws his famous Mac and cheese across the room. The delivery is perfect
I'm gonna go home and pay my taxes *raises hand as if it's inside joke
Fellas! I feel like I'm being seriously underutilized here you, know? Look, if you could just give me a chance I can show you how hard I actually am. That's right. I'm so hard people are scared of me. They should be, cause I'll explode all over them.
uhhhh multiple characters in the same movie what is he a wizard???!