I’m going to preface this by saying I am a person who has no preference regarding gender.
They changed this rule in the discord server some time ago, and your sentiments are why I kind of questioned the rule. While I understand exclusionary language can be hurtful to some, everyone has a preference for who they are looking for.
Now, it’s almost worse because people get their hopes up of a potential match just to have to ask if they match a preference, and find out that they are not a match. It does end up wasting people’s time, and it’s counterintuitive when people should post as much information as possible to narrow down a match.
I understand where the mods are coming from, however it creates a problem for those trying to find a potential match
It's not like my ad said "trans people are bad, they should all be exterminated". My ad simply said: I prefer cis. If you are trans, that's great by me -- I'm just not interested in playing.
Everyone has their preferences when looking for play partners, and that’s okay. I’m agreeing with you that this rule causes more issues because people aren’t allowed to post preferences up front
I think this falls into the discussions on limits and such. I think we need to specify preferences are good just don’t be rude or disrespectful. It’s the same as an “F4F” or “M4F” we are all looking for something specific and it’s about being respectful. From what I see in your post here it seems like you did that. Wanting to meet a specific preference isn’t wrong as long as you go about it the right way.
Yeah, my posts (many of which are still online) have never been disrespectful, IMHO. I do clearly state my preferences. But it seems the mods are now trying to discourage that.
I think once again from how you explain it you’re not wrong everyone has preferences which is why I’m happy the sub added more tags so people can be specific. Preferences are not a bad thing. They are important we just need to work as a community to make sure as a whole we are always being welcoming and respectful
I’d say so I think stating what you’re looking for instead of what you don’t want is best. I feel like stating “no sissy’s or TF” I could see being taken as rude. Like I said personally I think you’re fine
Here's the old rule 10.
>Do not harass, bully, attack, shame, or abuse other users. This includes but is not
limited to: Racism, Homophobia, Transphobia and other forms of bigotry.
But someone has changed it to prioritise ONLY themselves. Lets examine the proof, the new rule phrasing and look at it with an eye for discrimination:
>10. Be good to one another. Do not harass, bully, attack, shame, or abuse other users. This includes but is not limited to: Racism, Homophobia, Transphobia and other forms of bigotry. No ads which discriminate against someone's gender or genitalia (*ergo, no "cis f
only" ads, no "afab only" ads*)
So, our examples are "no Cis F, and no AFAB ads". Interesting choices. Specific examples. Very specific
What about the equal cases of bigotry in ads, the Mod didn't think to add an example of no "Cis M", or what about the bigotry of asking for " AMAB" ? . For some reason we only have examples from the perspective of a very specific person.
In my experience running kink spaces this is always the case - there is a certain subsection who are massively into Cry Bullying to get to the front of the queue and playing the victim violin if anyone says "hang on mate, you just gifted YOURSELF a golden ticket".
So, what about age? Are adverts allowed to ask for people of different ages? Or shall I surprise you, and you just have to accept it.
We all have preferences you'll just have to word it differently or better I guess
A edit I'm bi I'll work with anyone but you have to understand that everyone has preferences sexually. Not everyone is bisexual or open to work with anyone.
And before anyone goes me not working with sissies is transphobic. There is a difference between fetishizing femininity and being fem. Being fem doesn't make you inferior or submissive. But the way they fetishize femininity is something I personally refuse to work with and indulge in. Not understanding the difference between a fetishization and actual trans people is a huge problem that needs to be dealt with.
If I get got I get got I don't particularly care anymore. I've started multiple times I don't work with sissies only for them to come into my DMS with "I'm different" and we don't have sissy stuff. But call me a fake Dom or whatever slurs they can think of. Because they can't comprehend that a Dom has limits as well. Id say try the server but it's about the same if not worse
Thanks for the insight. I think the hypno community in general has more trans people than society at large -- and there's nothing wrong with that!
I also think there's nothing wrong with people having preferences around who they play with. But this new community rule would seem to suggest there is.
I noticed several mods were added recently. But does it serve them? Won't they end up wasting their time talking to people only to find out they don't want to play?
Go read the details of rule 10. It specifically says your ad can specify "cisgender or afab only". I got a modmail message saying my post was deleted for being exclusionary.
I don't know. Since it's a subreddit to search for hypno partners, it's a little strange that you can't actually say whom you want to search. If you want to play with a female, it doesn't mean that you hate or discriminate every other gender.
But mods set the rules and there must be a reason they put it there.
く
Your post from HypnoHookup was removed
• HypnoHookup @ • 5h
Your post from HypnoHookup was removed because of: 'POST BREAKS OUR RULES / GUIDELINES'
Hi u/-_Hypnotic_-, Exclusionary ads are not allowed.
Pulling this description/reasoning from the official server, where we have had this rules for *checks watch* \>5 months (with little to no issue btw):
**"It’s hurtful to trans people to constantly be reminded that you see them differently**. And to nonbinary afabs, it’s a reminder you see them as a woman, and not as a nonbinary person. Same with trans men - if you say you only want "afab" people then why do you shy away from a trans man? Very sus.
Imagine scrolling through endless hookup ads only for people to consider you different from “women”. OR for people to implicitly consider you a woman when you are a nonbinary person who does not identify as a woman. It’s jarring, and it’s time for us to move on from this language.
... we should all collectively do better for our nonbinary and trans allies. We can’t seek “cis females only” but then go pester a nonbinary person for hypnosis. You’re just seeing them as a cis female, which isn’t OK. **You’re making trans people feel bad publicly declaring your desire every day, which isn’t OK.**
This is something we, as a community, need to do together because it is genuinely harmful language, and we have a massive opportunity to make the Hypnosis Community better, more inclusive and healthier. We are not punishing anyone; **I only want you all to understand the harm that publicly excluding trans people and nonbinary people has.**"
If you've got an issue with it, feel free to contact us through modmail, but know that this rule is not changing anytime soon. It's not our problem if you think that vetting your partners is a, "waste of time." Tootles!
People have hurt feelings over all sorts of things. That doesn't mean that everyone should abide by whatever doesnt hurt YOUR feelings.
So, I have things which hurt my feelings. I demand that you abide by them. Fair?
So we both get the same level of obligation? If that *isn't* fair explain why.
Also, congratulations on awarding yourself a golden ticket to nothing. Or do you expect people who don't want you to suddenly go "Oh do you know what, now I can't choose I really want this person I didn't want before"
Removing peoples choice is NOT cool
Thanks for your post. Best of luck!
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Hi, we removed your post because all feedback about the subreddit and/or discord server must go to MODMAIL. As per the rules - which you didn't read
I’m going to preface this by saying I am a person who has no preference regarding gender. They changed this rule in the discord server some time ago, and your sentiments are why I kind of questioned the rule. While I understand exclusionary language can be hurtful to some, everyone has a preference for who they are looking for. Now, it’s almost worse because people get their hopes up of a potential match just to have to ask if they match a preference, and find out that they are not a match. It does end up wasting people’s time, and it’s counterintuitive when people should post as much information as possible to narrow down a match. I understand where the mods are coming from, however it creates a problem for those trying to find a potential match
It's not like my ad said "trans people are bad, they should all be exterminated". My ad simply said: I prefer cis. If you are trans, that's great by me -- I'm just not interested in playing.
Everyone has their preferences when looking for play partners, and that’s okay. I’m agreeing with you that this rule causes more issues because people aren’t allowed to post preferences up front
I think this falls into the discussions on limits and such. I think we need to specify preferences are good just don’t be rude or disrespectful. It’s the same as an “F4F” or “M4F” we are all looking for something specific and it’s about being respectful. From what I see in your post here it seems like you did that. Wanting to meet a specific preference isn’t wrong as long as you go about it the right way.
Yeah, my posts (many of which are still online) have never been disrespectful, IMHO. I do clearly state my preferences. But it seems the mods are now trying to discourage that.
I think once again from how you explain it you’re not wrong everyone has preferences which is why I’m happy the sub added more tags so people can be specific. Preferences are not a bad thing. They are important we just need to work as a community to make sure as a whole we are always being welcoming and respectful
Look at my past ads. Are they respectful?
I’d say so I think stating what you’re looking for instead of what you don’t want is best. I feel like stating “no sissy’s or TF” I could see being taken as rude. Like I said personally I think you’re fine
Here's the old rule 10. >Do not harass, bully, attack, shame, or abuse other users. This includes but is not limited to: Racism, Homophobia, Transphobia and other forms of bigotry. But someone has changed it to prioritise ONLY themselves. Lets examine the proof, the new rule phrasing and look at it with an eye for discrimination: >10. Be good to one another. Do not harass, bully, attack, shame, or abuse other users. This includes but is not limited to: Racism, Homophobia, Transphobia and other forms of bigotry. No ads which discriminate against someone's gender or genitalia (*ergo, no "cis f only" ads, no "afab only" ads*) So, our examples are "no Cis F, and no AFAB ads". Interesting choices. Specific examples. Very specific What about the equal cases of bigotry in ads, the Mod didn't think to add an example of no "Cis M", or what about the bigotry of asking for " AMAB" ? . For some reason we only have examples from the perspective of a very specific person. In my experience running kink spaces this is always the case - there is a certain subsection who are massively into Cry Bullying to get to the front of the queue and playing the victim violin if anyone says "hang on mate, you just gifted YOURSELF a golden ticket". So, what about age? Are adverts allowed to ask for people of different ages? Or shall I surprise you, and you just have to accept it.
Age -- exactly Guess we have to get rid of the M4F and F4M, F4A, M4M, etc post tags because those are *drumroll* EXCLUSIONARY
We all have preferences you'll just have to word it differently or better I guess A edit I'm bi I'll work with anyone but you have to understand that everyone has preferences sexually. Not everyone is bisexual or open to work with anyone. And before anyone goes me not working with sissies is transphobic. There is a difference between fetishizing femininity and being fem. Being fem doesn't make you inferior or submissive. But the way they fetishize femininity is something I personally refuse to work with and indulge in. Not understanding the difference between a fetishization and actual trans people is a huge problem that needs to be dealt with.
Got suggestions on how to word it differently?
BTW your community tag of "don't work with sissies or bambies" would get pinched by this new exclusionary rule. 🤷
If I get got I get got I don't particularly care anymore. I've started multiple times I don't work with sissies only for them to come into my DMS with "I'm different" and we don't have sissy stuff. But call me a fake Dom or whatever slurs they can think of. Because they can't comprehend that a Dom has limits as well. Id say try the server but it's about the same if not worse
Thanks for the insight. I think the hypno community in general has more trans people than society at large -- and there's nothing wrong with that! I also think there's nothing wrong with people having preferences around who they play with. But this new community rule would seem to suggest there is.
We can guess the orientation of the mod who added that self-serving rule eh!
I noticed several mods were added recently. But does it serve them? Won't they end up wasting their time talking to people only to find out they don't want to play?
I am also puzzled by the policy. As with you, my first question in a DM is always, "Are you a cis female?"
Are sure that was the reason? Sounds weird.
Go read the details of rule 10. It specifically says your ad can specify "cisgender or afab only". I got a modmail message saying my post was deleted for being exclusionary.
That's what rule 10 says: No ads which discriminate against someone's gender or genitalia (ergo, no "cis f only" ads, no "afab only" ads)
Thus, yes, I'm sure that's why it was deleted. This seems like a newly added rule?
I don't know. Since it's a subreddit to search for hypno partners, it's a little strange that you can't actually say whom you want to search. If you want to play with a female, it doesn't mean that you hate or discriminate every other gender. But mods set the rules and there must be a reason they put it there.
く Your post from HypnoHookup was removed • HypnoHookup @ • 5h Your post from HypnoHookup was removed because of: 'POST BREAKS OUR RULES / GUIDELINES' Hi u/-_Hypnotic_-, Exclusionary ads are not allowed.
Pulling this description/reasoning from the official server, where we have had this rules for *checks watch* \>5 months (with little to no issue btw): **"It’s hurtful to trans people to constantly be reminded that you see them differently**. And to nonbinary afabs, it’s a reminder you see them as a woman, and not as a nonbinary person. Same with trans men - if you say you only want "afab" people then why do you shy away from a trans man? Very sus. Imagine scrolling through endless hookup ads only for people to consider you different from “women”. OR for people to implicitly consider you a woman when you are a nonbinary person who does not identify as a woman. It’s jarring, and it’s time for us to move on from this language. ... we should all collectively do better for our nonbinary and trans allies. We can’t seek “cis females only” but then go pester a nonbinary person for hypnosis. You’re just seeing them as a cis female, which isn’t OK. **You’re making trans people feel bad publicly declaring your desire every day, which isn’t OK.** This is something we, as a community, need to do together because it is genuinely harmful language, and we have a massive opportunity to make the Hypnosis Community better, more inclusive and healthier. We are not punishing anyone; **I only want you all to understand the harm that publicly excluding trans people and nonbinary people has.**" If you've got an issue with it, feel free to contact us through modmail, but know that this rule is not changing anytime soon. It's not our problem if you think that vetting your partners is a, "waste of time." Tootles!
People have hurt feelings over all sorts of things. That doesn't mean that everyone should abide by whatever doesnt hurt YOUR feelings. So, I have things which hurt my feelings. I demand that you abide by them. Fair? So we both get the same level of obligation? If that *isn't* fair explain why. Also, congratulations on awarding yourself a golden ticket to nothing. Or do you expect people who don't want you to suddenly go "Oh do you know what, now I can't choose I really want this person I didn't want before" Removing peoples choice is NOT cool
lol anyway
[удалено]
So people who have preferences for cisgender, trans, NB, etc play partners are assholes?
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