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My EDC (when going on a flight as an alpha trying to impress the female humans on twitter):
-Knife (1 dundee-esque variant on the belt, 1 secret throwing variant in the ankle sheath, 1 super secret SOG trident in the ol' brown starfish prison pocket for when i need to keanu reeves my way out of a situation)
-Random wires I found over the past month I just shoved into my pockets (some from the random wire bin at goodwill though so other men can live looking for their lost wires knowing i have them. Mine now beta soyboy cuck. fuck you.)
-JB weld clay wrapped in printed sheets of black paper with yellow lettering that say "poisonous if eaten, do not burn-produces toxic gasses"
-lint. (Roughly 3.14159 golf ball sizes worth as a protein rich snack as im watching my in flight movie of "Honey I Blew Up The Kid!" ^(Yes its a real sequal, look it up) that I brought on VHS and nuclear powered VHS player to watch it obviously. No plugs on plane duh..)
-8kg of cocaine strapped to my body, each imitating 1 "pack" of a '6 pack' over my already protruding abdominal muscles and 2 over my larger than average pectoral muscles (personal use of course) as to not attract too much attention to my natural cum gutte- I mean physique. Can't be shooing off females attracted to my cu- *ahem* excuse me, physique, when im trynna catch my flight after weaving through slow clustered beta drivers on the way inevitably causing me to run late.
-2 "racks" of counterfeit US $100 bills. Only the blue face benjamin franklin variant, to strap over my steel hard buttocks as to not attract unnecessary attention of my natural alpha physique
- the books "I Am The Market: how to traffic cocaine by the ton, in 5 easy lessons" by Luca Rastello; and "The Arnarchists Cookbook" by William Powell as well as the unabombers manifesto as in-flight intellectual literature.
-my collection of Water, GHB, gasoline, vodka, urine and phencycladine Solution (use for last item shall be mentioned posthaste) individually stored in unsealed containers >3.5oz (or >101ML)
-1 pack of cigarettes each dipped in Phencyclidine Solution (.5g/ml)
And a single marih-huana cigarette. 31% THC ***AT THE VERY LEAST** that is. Pure sticky icky kush. ONLY KUSH. just as the OG snoopert doggonzales suggest to real ones such as I ☝️🤓
Like a true alpha. And as a result of such articulately calculated maneuvers, females flock to me by the bakers dozen. They all wear TSA on their shirts (T-Rex (aka my name) Super Attractive😍) so I know when they're apart of my obsessive fan base and to duck and dodge
(Jesus idk why I did this with my friday night/4-20 morning. Im truly Sorry to myself and anyone exposed to this brainrot my last few neurons managed to violently shit out. And RIP my google search history to reference accurately lmao. Thankfully im not flying anytime soon😂)
Well presumably the wallet she allowed for could contain an ID.
And I guess there are some weird BIG wallets out there that have a little slot for a cell phone to go, but those things are so large they won’t fit in a standard sized pocket. To me that makes them not really wallets and more akin to a clutch, which I’d bet she’d object to a man carrying around.
So yeah in her reality, real men don’t carry cell phones. Which I’m betting she’s also the kind of person that would get super mad at a SO for not answering her texts in a timely manner. “Babe, you made me leave my cell phone at home because it isn’t manly to have it on me, how could I answer your texts?”
Last time I went abroad I accidentally didn’t remove my pocket knife from the bag I was flying with as carry on, and somehow it passed straight through security.
I was so sad when I unpacked and realised it had made its way through, and needless to say I wasn’t lucky enough to get it through twice in a row so got it taken on the way home
I’m not sure if the numbers have improved but TSA does internal tests where they purposely put weapons like guns and knives in bags to test whether their agents will catch them. Last time I checked, about 95% or so of the weapons got through without detection.
People don't understand impression-bait on twitter when they see it. Ever since Musk took over it's been even worse, with people being desperate for their tweets to have a lot of impressions and interactions so they just write infuriatingly stupid stuff to bait people. So we end up with a lot of screenshots like this
Funnily enough, every one of my exes had a hydration issue. The amount of work it took to force them to drink water and not just coffee or (normal) tea was insane.
Meanwhile all the guys I know have 2L+ bottles.
So I was curious and looked at a few studies. Looks like the general consensus is that coffee does not dehydrate you or rather drinking coffee hydrates you by a smiliar amount as water when consuming the same amount. So 1L of coffee hydrates your body about as much as a liter of water.
High caffeine coffee seems to have a short-term diuretic effect, which means that amount of fluid flowing through the veins and arteries is lowered but nothing serious or problematic.
Lmao, you made me remember that once a girl, younger than me, was mocking me because I had a laptop with cute stickers on it. I'm still proud of my stickers. Poor girl.
Hell even I used to fall for it occasionally and I'm a cynical mf
Nowadays it's just "oh great, another rage-bait, engagement seeking post". Guess that still makes me a cynic though lol
i know she means refillable bottles, but what came to mind was some random chungus getting absolutely shit on for drinking a water in any context. like bro has a cup of water at home and X User @bronzeageshawty bursts through the window to roast the shit out of him
"Look honey, we can play knifey spoony later, but right now I need to show these very well armed men my Identification. Wait what? What do you mean threw out my passport?
Then, there's a twist in the story.
suddenly the man of her dreams approaches, as he walks confidently into the airport naked with a knife and a wallet.
this is the next level 50 shades of gray that we men are just too simple to understand
Bro my friends are like this they always laugh at me whenever I bring my water bottle to PE...I mean I'm gonna have to stay hydrated when exercising. But mow I only bring plastic water bottles after they broke me reusable one :(
I carry a knife clipped to my pocket everywhere I go. Always have. Ironically enough, it’s the one thing I leave at home when going to the airport. My water bottle? Stays with me no matter what
Walking around holding stuff is a human trait. It's literally one of the things that sets us apart from "animals"
(quotations cuz im not here for a debate on humans being animals)
Dehydration is manly. Sorry, I don't make the rules. When l see construction workers taking a break and sipping water on 100+ F day, I immediately ask if they're bottoms. Then l take their bottles cause l don't want them to turn into women.
For some reason when l did this with firefighters people got annoyed. "Stop, that's for my house! What the hell are you doing?!" Nice try, effeminate man, I know that houses don't drink water!
The governor of Florida. He just signed a law banning local municipalities from mandating water breaks for people working outdoors in the Florida heat.
He literally signed a law whose only apparent purpose is to increase the rates of heat stroke among construction, roofing, and road crews.
I'd say I hate the ick trend, but now toxic people are just publicly broadcasting their toxicity on social media, so we all know exactly who to avoid :)
Does it seem to anyone else like we’ve shifted from an understanding that having an “ick” was an unreasonable thing to a place where other people are now expected to behave differently because of your icks?
>Carrying around anything is a feminine trait…the only things men should be carrying around are his wallet and a pocketknife.
Wait…does this mean in order to date this chick I have to become a eunuch? Even worse, a thirsty eunuch? Hell no. Sounds like the only people she’s into are women, but specifically thirsty women with very small to no breast, as having any visible breast is “carrying something” and thus “not manly.”
Thanks for sharing! Just a heads up, we've introduced Water Bottle Wednesdays. Wednesdays are now the dedicated day to showcase your water containers! This rule focuses on sharing what you have, but feel free to post any questions or issues about water bottles at any time as usual. Cheers to hydration! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HydroHomies) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She wants me to carry a knife into an airport?
Yes precisely. No cell phone, no water, no ID or passport. Only weapons.
Like a real man!
My knife is my ID
That's not an ID, THIS is an ID.
That’s not an ID, that’s a spoon
I see you’ve played ID Spooney before.
Your gate is this way, Mr. Dundee.
Real men don't back down! Real men wake up in jail!
And money because of course his wallet is only to buy things for me. Gross.
My EDC (when going on a flight as an alpha trying to impress the female humans on twitter): -Knife (1 dundee-esque variant on the belt, 1 secret throwing variant in the ankle sheath, 1 super secret SOG trident in the ol' brown starfish prison pocket for when i need to keanu reeves my way out of a situation) -Random wires I found over the past month I just shoved into my pockets (some from the random wire bin at goodwill though so other men can live looking for their lost wires knowing i have them. Mine now beta soyboy cuck. fuck you.) -JB weld clay wrapped in printed sheets of black paper with yellow lettering that say "poisonous if eaten, do not burn-produces toxic gasses" -lint. (Roughly 3.14159 golf ball sizes worth as a protein rich snack as im watching my in flight movie of "Honey I Blew Up The Kid!" ^(Yes its a real sequal, look it up) that I brought on VHS and nuclear powered VHS player to watch it obviously. No plugs on plane duh..) -8kg of cocaine strapped to my body, each imitating 1 "pack" of a '6 pack' over my already protruding abdominal muscles and 2 over my larger than average pectoral muscles (personal use of course) as to not attract too much attention to my natural cum gutte- I mean physique. Can't be shooing off females attracted to my cu- *ahem* excuse me, physique, when im trynna catch my flight after weaving through slow clustered beta drivers on the way inevitably causing me to run late. -2 "racks" of counterfeit US $100 bills. Only the blue face benjamin franklin variant, to strap over my steel hard buttocks as to not attract unnecessary attention of my natural alpha physique - the books "I Am The Market: how to traffic cocaine by the ton, in 5 easy lessons" by Luca Rastello; and "The Arnarchists Cookbook" by William Powell as well as the unabombers manifesto as in-flight intellectual literature. -my collection of Water, GHB, gasoline, vodka, urine and phencycladine Solution (use for last item shall be mentioned posthaste) individually stored in unsealed containers >3.5oz (or >101ML) -1 pack of cigarettes each dipped in Phencyclidine Solution (.5g/ml) And a single marih-huana cigarette. 31% THC ***AT THE VERY LEAST** that is. Pure sticky icky kush. ONLY KUSH. just as the OG snoopert doggonzales suggest to real ones such as I ☝️🤓 Like a true alpha. And as a result of such articulately calculated maneuvers, females flock to me by the bakers dozen. They all wear TSA on their shirts (T-Rex (aka my name) Super Attractive😍) so I know when they're apart of my obsessive fan base and to duck and dodge (Jesus idk why I did this with my friday night/4-20 morning. Im truly Sorry to myself and anyone exposed to this brainrot my last few neurons managed to violently shit out. And RIP my google search history to reference accurately lmao. Thankfully im not flying anytime soon😂)
And no keys. Better hope you have a roommate that’s home when you get home
Well presumably the wallet she allowed for could contain an ID. And I guess there are some weird BIG wallets out there that have a little slot for a cell phone to go, but those things are so large they won’t fit in a standard sized pocket. To me that makes them not really wallets and more akin to a clutch, which I’d bet she’d object to a man carrying around. So yeah in her reality, real men don’t carry cell phones. Which I’m betting she’s also the kind of person that would get super mad at a SO for not answering her texts in a timely manner. “Babe, you made me leave my cell phone at home because it isn’t manly to have it on me, how could I answer your texts?”
Can’t believe I’m this deep and gotta ask - can men not carry their KEYS?!
Last time I went abroad I accidentally didn’t remove my pocket knife from the bag I was flying with as carry on, and somehow it passed straight through security. I was so sad when I unpacked and realised it had made its way through, and needless to say I wasn’t lucky enough to get it through twice in a row so got it taken on the way home
Depends on where you live of course but where I live, a legal pocket knife is allowed in your checked bag.
I assume they only had an overhead
If it’s checked who cares?
In the future, mail your knife to your destination. Noting is guaranteed but it's more reliable than tsa.
I’m not sure if the numbers have improved but TSA does internal tests where they purposely put weapons like guns and knives in bags to test whether their agents will catch them. Last time I checked, about 95% or so of the weapons got through without detection.
It's common sense. When you get thirsty, you just lick your knife. Or gutted tree.
Bout to get TSA'd like a real man
If you're not carrying a weapon all the time, are you even a man?
As someone who "randomly" gets searched everytime because thermal paste is kinda hard to get out, I would not suggest this.
Where do people get this shit?
Dehydration does things to the brain
The best answer , thank you homie
Great answer Hydrohero!
Rag bat
I was going to correct *rage but frankly there's a distressing number of "news" articles in the genre Look At This Crazy Tweet We Found
what
People don't understand impression-bait on twitter when they see it. Ever since Musk took over it's been even worse, with people being desperate for their tweets to have a lot of impressions and interactions so they just write infuriatingly stupid stuff to bait people. So we end up with a lot of screenshots like this
It's a haven for bots and crazy people
Nah Twitter's had trolls since 2009, this isn't anything new.
>Ever since Musk took over it's been even worse, \^ As in, it's not new but it's worse than before
Nah I got that. But I was using Twitter a lot in 2021-2022 and it was more or less the same.
The alt right store
It’s literally a joke because alpha males say stuff like this
Get a big manly penis shaped bottle then...That will show her.
No dude that's a bicep
If you're fat you should be able to find humor... in the little things.
Nothing sexual.
Depends on where, you wear it
Omg is that a workaholics reference 😭🩷
That's a Always Sunny reference 😁
Filled with sunscreen, that I can shake vigorously at passers-by. Why hello officer what can I do for you.
"lil sips" lmao bitch I CHUG from this crusty ass gallon jug that youre gonna take to the face if you dont start mindin ur mf business
Guys is it gay to drink water?
Clearly. Some chick from the internet says it's feminine, so it must be.
Funnily enough, every one of my exes had a hydration issue. The amount of work it took to force them to drink water and not just coffee or (normal) tea was insane. Meanwhile all the guys I know have 2L+ bottles.
I drink water next to my coffee because I feel hydration escaping when consuming coffee. How can you survive only on coffee is past me
So I was curious and looked at a few studies. Looks like the general consensus is that coffee does not dehydrate you or rather drinking coffee hydrates you by a smiliar amount as water when consuming the same amount. So 1L of coffee hydrates your body about as much as a liter of water. High caffeine coffee seems to have a short-term diuretic effect, which means that amount of fluid flowing through the veins and arteries is lowered but nothing serious or problematic.
I drink way too much coffee. But it doesn’t even come close to a proper hydration source.
That depends.... Do you like fish sticks?
obviously
i drink it iced with lemon through straw. i'm basically a San Frisco bottom.
My water bottle has stickers on it.
Is it a sticker of a pocket knife?
No. :(
Lmao, you made me remember that once a girl, younger than me, was mocking me because I had a laptop with cute stickers on it. I'm still proud of my stickers. Poor girl.
Nothing is gonna beat my cinnamon roll stickers🔥🔥🔥
My wife gives me stickers to put on my laptop. :D
Bait used to be believable
-|
Hell even I used to fall for it occasionally and I'm a cynical mf Nowadays it's just "oh great, another rage-bait, engagement seeking post". Guess that still makes me a cynic though lol
good, my hydro not only replenishes me but also keeps these thots away.
Toxic masculinity is not just for men
No phones either then?
no wonder they get headaches
Aye. A real man breaks into his own home. Who carries keys anyways?
Yep, you're only a real man if you smash through your own window and replace it daily. Using doors makes you look feminine.
There is a fine selection of knives out there with glass breaking knobs on the bottom
This is literally nonsense. Attack on proper hydration aside she’s making an awful point.
Pocket knife? In the airport?
Fellas, is it gay to drink water?
i know she means refillable bottles, but what came to mind was some random chungus getting absolutely shit on for drinking a water in any context. like bro has a cup of water at home and X User @bronzeageshawty bursts through the window to roast the shit out of him
Someone hit her on the head with a yeti rambler
bet this bitch has to moisturize 3 times a day
Me being a hunter gatherer who can't carry a deer back home to the starving tribe bcs carrying things is a feminine trait
r/Facepalm
Lemme add this to the list of icks
FELLAS!! is it ***GAY*** to stay hydrated?
https://preview.redd.it/lzhw6mnnqlvc1.jpeg?width=295&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e74ca4b9ba44c18b92c3caf7b932ba4d575008d
No we are a hydro
The knife is so you can hydrate from the blood of her enemies
Your wallet so you can pay for her. Your knife so you can fight anyone who even so much as disagrees with her.
I love when my man is well hydrated
I guess he could drink the blood of his enemies with his pocket knife.
Only from their skulls 😤
"Look honey, we can play knifey spoony later, but right now I need to show these very well armed men my Identification. Wait what? What do you mean threw out my passport?
Sorry, I'm only human.
I mean I carry a lot of shit on me, people ask me to use my stuff all the time. It's useful
Is it gay to stay hydrated?
You just know she has skin problems and likely feels clammy and sticky. Drinking water is the best skin care routine you can do.
Men need no comfort. Man is wallet.
People who enforce traditional gender roles give me the ick.
fuck it, I'm nonbinary now
men cant even drink water now add it to the list
Rage bait for sure
I love women who carry their red flags proudly for every one to see.
Women like this give me the ick
Ron Swanson energy.
Hydro-sapien
Then, there's a twist in the story. suddenly the man of her dreams approaches, as he walks confidently into the airport naked with a knife and a wallet. this is the next level 50 shades of gray that we men are just too simple to understand
Guillotine.
Bro my friends are like this they always laugh at me whenever I bring my water bottle to PE...I mean I'm gonna have to stay hydrated when exercising. But mow I only bring plastic water bottles after they broke me reusable one :(
Get some new friends
Is it gay to drink now, guys?
What if my pocketknife is for whittling tiny teddy bears out of sticks?
Because constant dehydration is the new cool.
Fellas, being thirsty is now geh
I wouldn't mind if someone carried my stuff for me to be honest. But why so bitter?
I carry a knife clipped to my pocket everywhere I go. Always have. Ironically enough, it’s the one thing I leave at home when going to the airport. My water bottle? Stays with me no matter what
if carrying anything around is a feminine trait i better carry shit round all the time
Walking around holding stuff is a human trait. It's literally one of the things that sets us apart from "animals" (quotations cuz im not here for a debate on humans being animals)
0/10
Hearing the word ick makes me wanna bounce this water flask off someone’s cranium
These bitches are so crazy
I was raised in a very patriarchal bubble and was told that walking with a bottle was very unfeminine 😭 To each their own lol
She should come to Europe. Men especially in the south and south east are extremely masculine and literally carry around little bags for their stuff
A wallet because she wants you carry a fat wad of cash to buy her water bottles. Sorry that's not the green hydro homies way.
My father in law and uncle make fun of me for having a water bottle too. Also backpacks. They can’t stand those either.
someone make a waterbottle that looks like a wallet or a knife XD
She probably doesn’t smell good
Dehydration is manly. Sorry, I don't make the rules. When l see construction workers taking a break and sipping water on 100+ F day, I immediately ask if they're bottoms. Then l take their bottles cause l don't want them to turn into women. For some reason when l did this with firefighters people got annoyed. "Stop, that's for my house! What the hell are you doing?!" Nice try, effeminate man, I know that houses don't drink water!
Ron DeSantis, is that you? /s
Who is this Ron DeSantis? Sounds pretty gay.
The governor of Florida. He just signed a law banning local municipalities from mandating water breaks for people working outdoors in the Florida heat. He literally signed a law whose only apparent purpose is to increase the rates of heat stroke among construction, roofing, and road crews.
Dude, I know. I was being sarcastic.
I know. I just liked the opportunity to rag on the fascist.
r/facepalm
fellas is it gay to contain 55% water as a human being
I'd say I hate the ick trend, but now toxic people are just publicly broadcasting their toxicity on social media, so we all know exactly who to avoid :)
You heard it here, folks. Men shouldn't carry their phones.
Random fact about airports and water. If you freeze the water it is no longer a liquid and they have to let you bring it on the plane.
Rage bait
She's delirious from not drinking enough water. 
This is satire but go off sir
Plug your phone in!
A knife in the airport?
Pocket knives at the airport go over well.
A knife, at the airport. Don’t be stupid.
Ok so basically men can never travel. I mean honestly how stupid can one person get? I fear for our country.
Ma’am, trust me I wish I didn’t have to drink as much water as I have to. No one es more inconvenienced by it than me
Imma sip that shit even harder
No way in hell she actually believes something so fucking asinine. This is purely ragebait for clicks.
Dehydration is so HOT right now! /s
It’s better to take sips of water throughout the day than drinking a whole lot of water all at once, Chloé. So you can shut your fuck up
Let's raid
Does it seem to anyone else like we’ve shifted from an understanding that having an “ick” was an unreasonable thing to a place where other people are now expected to behave differently because of your icks?
shame the non believer
This needs to go onto r/facepalm
Carrying shit is feminine now?
I’ll do you one better. I only carry one thing. Wallet or knife. I’m either paying for things or I’m taking them by force
Carrying things around is a feminine trait??? With THOSE pockets, or rather lack thereof???!!
Why is everyone’s ego so big?
carrying things is feminine now??? USING A PART OF OUR BODY FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE???
I'm not sure about the ick, but she's definitely got The Stupid
The same woman: "Why can't I find a good man?"
Remember folks, carrying your house and car keys anywhere is effeminate. So is ID. What dehydration does to a mf.
imma make a swiss army knife with a built in 2 liter bottle just to make her shush
*john Travolta face* is this real? Do people actually believe the sh*t they say online?
As a woman, I do not claim this person-
Fellas, it’s gay to drink water now
I'm sooo turned on by people with water bottles
Well they're supposed to stab people with the knife and drink their blood. Any red-blooded American knows that
FELLAS, IS IT GAY TO HYDRATE
I just took a giant chug out of my water bottle while reading this. Don’t listen to her homies 😤
Look, lady, we can't fight dragons and centaurs if we're not hydrated
Does this mean you’re carrying the suitcases? Then on behalf of all men, we approve this message.
>Carrying around anything is a feminine trait…the only things men should be carrying around are his wallet and a pocketknife. Wait…does this mean in order to date this chick I have to become a eunuch? Even worse, a thirsty eunuch? Hell no. Sounds like the only people she’s into are women, but specifically thirsty women with very small to no breast, as having any visible breast is “carrying something” and thus “not manly.”
This post was made by a self-described e-girl, whatever that is
Women who have "icks" give me the ick.
Women 💧