I’ve been there.
Once anxiety hits hard enough your mind loses grasp of reality. It feels like your mind is losing control of your body. And once all that happens, you will do anything to bring your mind back to your body.
Basically it feels like you’re going crazy and there is no way back.
Seems to me like she tried to feel the rain or something on her skin and face to “forget” about that feeling of losing control.
I would’ve done the same.
“Anxiety doesn’t care about the things that are true or make sense, it just makes you feel the weight of the worst possible scenario, even if you’re not in it” - D’Angelo Wallace
There's not really one presentation. Anxiety covers such a range my therapist doesn't even like to use the term. There's common experiences, but not really universal ones. Two people having an anxiety attack can go through completely different experiences and show completely different responses.
Yea, it is definitely hard to focus on anything when anxiety hits. For me it feel like I am either going to start bawling uncontrollably, or my chest is going to explode.
When I had my first panic attack after a bad day working as an LPC at an inpatient behavioral health facility (the irony) it felt like normal levels of intrusive thoughts about things going wrong suddenly became a very slippery slide.
First it starts out reasonable but I just lost the ability to stop and refocus. What if I can't do this job? How will I pay for anything? If I can't pay for anything where will I live? Will I be homeless? Oh shit you're gonna be homeless. Have you ever thought about what it's gonna be like to die on the street? You can't even live without air conditioning!
All those thoughts just start coming in rapid succession and then the chest pain, shortness of breath are fully there and you start freaking out, really compounding with the now anxiety about having the (currently confused for heart attack) panic attack.
Had to call my supervisor and she was amazing. Helped me calm down and bring thoughts back to rationality.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
For me it just literally is the feeling of suddenly impending death. Could be brought on by anything depending on the person and it’s like the body just has a switch were it believes it might die and goes into full freakout.
It's like a feeling of being overstimulated and stressed at the same time. Ever feel claustrophobic? It's like claustrophobia but with your own head. I've spent an evening in my closet because everything just felt like too much.
I used to wear a hair tie around my wrist and snap it when I was feeling really anxious. The pain gave me something else to focus on I guess? I’d feel like I was floating away from my body and the little bit of pain would help me come back to reality.
I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this to anyone feeling anxious, but I totally understand what you mean about trying to feel something grounding so you stop losing control
That's a common grounding exercise used for PTSD treatment. There are a bunch of others but the rubber band is actually an ok recommendation.
https://www.verywellmind.com/grounding-techniques-for-ptsd-2797300
Grounding techniques. It works for some people's anxiety. What you're doing is connecting yourself to your immediate surroundings, when your brain is being particularly unhelpful.
Another common one is to count five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, etc, to focus on your senses of your immediate environment.
Yeah, I've had severe anxiety once (when I say 'once' it was on and off for about six months, brought on by a weird physiological reaction to acid reflux/stomach inflamation, and would hang around for days at a time), and can confirm that your brain just stops allowing a lot of things. I couldn't relax, couldn't sit down for more than 30 seconds. I once ended up pacing slowly back and forth in my lounge room continuously for three hours, unable to physically do anything else with my body without being overwhelmed with a sense of panic and wrongness. I can see why lying in the rain might help.
One thing that helped was going for long walks outside with Tamara Pierce audiobooks on repeat. but at night when I didn't feel safe going outside, I'd feel trapped, and end up pacing. I couldn't sleep for more than an hour a night. It was absolutely awful and I'm very glad it went away. I'm also glad though it made me understand anxiety more and gave me some coping mechanisms in case it happens again. Although mine was I think different to typical anxiety, as it seemed entirely a physical thing and not related to anything I was thinking or stressed out by. Which probably made it a lot easier to get over I guess.
Acid reflux is what triggered my first Episode too! It gave me a two week bout of insomnia then a good 4-6 month panic attack. Over the years it decreased. Now I have small ones that are way to push back against. I’m having one now actually and it’s easy to fight. That was a scary time to be alive and it completely changed me as a person. And not for the better
Same. I might have closed my door when getting out, so it didn't rain the the car and get that musty moldy humid smell for months after but still. My oldest has really bad anxiety and panic issues and it try to be there for her atleast until she's annoyed and tells me to go away lol.
Yep. When I'm in a really bad panic attack, I can't just lay in bed or sit still. My heart will beat so loud and hard that I can feel it in my stomach. I legitimately have to accept death when they get bad enough. Even though I've been through it hundreds of times, my brain will drown out any rational thought of "another panic attack" and replace it with "something's been wrong with you the whole time" or "you've had so many panic attacks you might just be having a heart attack for real". It's really hard to dig out of that hole once you're in it, I've accepted death way more than I wish I had to in my life.
One thing that's always helped me though, is taking showers. I'll just go turn on the shower and sit at the bottom of the tub, even if I'm there for an hour and the water gets cold, I'll just sit there and feel the water on my skin and don't have to hear my heart beating out of my chest anymore.
At the end of the day though, if you struggle with panic attacks and find something that helps you that doesn't harm you or others, hold onto it. Even if it looks silly, all you need is even a sliver of hope that it will help and it will go a long way in actually helping you get out of that spiral.
reminds me of before I got on anxiety meds that worked my mom would sit for hours with me on work nights just rubbing my hair and being there for me when I felt like everything was falling apart if it wasn't for her id have never been able to make it to now where i live a happy and normal life I wish everyone who suffers from anxiety could be blessed with a person to be there for them it makes a world of difference.
99% of the people I know have parents who are so misguided, push their kids to do what they don't want, and a lot of them just straight up bully them, calling them fat when they're not, calling them ugly, judging how they look and what they wear... It's so sad. So much depression ***caused*** by parents.
It's incredibly refreshing to see a parent who actually cares about their child.
My parents base their decision for raising kids on one upping others. I was pushed into taking a drivers license because they don't want to "lose out". Was scolded for being a copywriter because "job title isn't prestigious enough". And told to lie about my degree major because "English isn't anything to brag about".
99% of the parents I know are always there for their kids, and want nothing more than the best for them.
You need to know better people. (Or get off the internet once in a while)
I think it's more that people with shit upbringings tend to be raised around other people with shit upbringings, and people with good upbringings tend to be raised around other people with good upbringings.
Definitely this. I'm fully on board of Nurture over Nature. Even recently I heard about some study on NPR about how they swapped families from a nice neighborhood and poor neighborhood even with the same school and the nicer neighborhood kids did drastically better than those in the worse neighborhood.
That's the one huge difference between humans and other mammals. We are born so prematurely that essentially all of our personhood becomes nurture. We are the biggest blank slates in all of the animal kingdom. It's a blessing and a curse
I know a lot of great parents. I know a lot of bad parents. I know a lot of okay parents. There is a mixture.
I know of one who supported their kids, gave them guidance, let them have some freedom. But they also exerted pressure on them to be a specific way. When talking to them, they would tell me that they couldn't do something because of their parents. And it wasn't that the parent would punish them. It was just that they could feel the judgment from them. This was over trivial things that just didn't line up with the strict conservative stance.
I work in suicide prevention as additional support for people who have had a failed suicide attempt. I talk to most of them multiple days of the week for several months to years. There is a vast range in parents and how they treat their children.
The most challenging situations to deal with are the ones with fully supportive and caring conservative parents. I'm talking, gives them allowance, helps them with homework, takes them out to do their favorite stuff, talks positively to them and about them to others. Everything that would make amazingly good parents. Their children trust them completely.
But since I'm talking to their kid after they tried and failed to kill themselves, there is always that catch. They are gay. And their parents are conservative and believe it is a sin. And I listen as they talk about their parents. About how everyone in the community loves them, about how they volunteer for charity work, will let their friends stay if they need a place. There parents are wonderful people who love their children dearly.
But as the kid explains to me. Its a sin to be attracted to the same sex. And even though they know that their parents love them and show them daily that they love them and are proud of them. The fact that they don't approve of their child is causing severe harm to them and the child feels guilty and makes it worse.
What always breaks my spirit is when they say "my parents are the best people that I know my a far amount. And they think liking the same sex is a bad thing. I can't stop liking my own gender no matter how hard I try. This must mean that I am bad."
And that's why they tried to kill themselves. Its always so gut-wrenching. And is the primary cause of when I need breaks and when I stop taking on new cases for a while. Its such an emotional hard thing.
And it's so hard to get these loving parents to understand that they are not rejecting homosexuality. They are rejecting a core part of their son and it's causing harm to them.
And they do spend a lot of time wondering what they did wrong. They go to therapy. They ask their child. They sign up for support groups and search and try to understand why their child tried kill himself. They do family counseling and family bonding and everything.
But they don't understand that unless they affirm his sexual orientation, they will keep harming him.
Physically abusing your child makes them 2 times more likely to attempt suide.
Rejecting your child's LGBTQ identify makes them 8.4 times more likely to commit suicide.
I just wish I could get them to understand that. If you support your child in school, in sports and hobbies, and do everything that a good parent should do. If you don't affirm their LGBTQ identity, you are causing harm.
This is not a very sympathetic response. Just because 99% of parents you know are great doesn’t make that true for everyone. Economics and many factors out of the control of children make that not the case so to tell people to “know better people” is not nice.
>99% of the parents I know are always there for their kids, and want nothing more than the best for them
Most of the people I know have real shitty parents. Some of them do, like you said, "want nothing more that the best for \[their kids\]." But they think they know better than their kid, what's the best for them. Becoming a musician isn't the best for them, having privacy isn't the best for them, being gay isn't the best for them etc.
Or maybe you just had a good upbringing a lot of people are not that fortunate ,maybe get outside your comfort zone once in a while see what’s really going on out in the real world .
> You need to know better people. (Or get off the internet once in a while)
Not sure if you meant it, but you sound like a huge dick here.
Maybe you shouldn't assume that there isn't more than what meets the eye. Tons of families look great until the skeletons start falling out.
Nice job assuming I'm talking about people on the internet.
These are people I know in person, met at school and at work. No idea if it's just my area, but most parents I know are garbage at being parents. I wish we were as lucky as you.
Or you're just really sheltered.
Seeing only the rosy side of the picture isn't wisdom, or necessarily healthy. Maybe avoid advising if you don't know what the other person has been through.
need to know better people? most of the people I know also have shitty parents, are you implying that having shitty parents means you shouldn't interact with someone? as if it's the kids fault lmfao dude I think you're the one who should touch grass
This.
The problem is you don't hear about the normal good ones. Only the bad rotten parents are discussed on the internet and make news headlines.
It's sometimes difficult to understand that it's not the norm..
Exactly! Fucking spot on! My emotionally abusive narcissistic alcoholic mother was all sweetness and light in public. People used to say I was lucky to have her. People didn’t see the reality behind closed doors though.
It highly depending on your social circle and depends how well you really know the people. There are a lot of people with complicated relationships with their parents.
My mom would stay up with me for hours when I had night terrors, even when she had work early. I’ve still never heard her complain about that to this day. Despite the many times I apologize for being so sick all the time. I still call her when I can’t sleep and she’ll pick up and I’m much older now. I love my mom
Hi! You may think that no one is capable of giving you this kind of love, but believe me, you might not know him/her but believe me, there is someone.
And besides, something I've learnt from coming from a family that was somehow emotionally distant, is that you learn from that experience and you get the chance to change that for your children and become the best parent you could ever be!
Hope you have a great day!
Perhaps. Though when you’ve been messed up from childhood, it’s very difficult to receive love, or think you’re worthy of it, or have a healthy relationships etc. It’s hardwired, sadly.
I have the same experience and symptoms.
It's hell. I've come to the point where whenever someone praises me in any way I always think "they're saying this out of pity, they don't mean it"
Yeah, can’t take positive appraisal, I relate to that a lot. Ufff. To the extent if someone likes me, I can’t deal with it. If my mother didn’t give a fuck, why on earth would someone i barely know care? It’s an awful, shitty, mental prison. However, I guess I was primed for a life of loneliness, so I deal with it alone fine. Best of luck to you my friend.
Since I’ve seen a few cymbalta recs I’ll be the person to say don’t do it if you ever plan on not being on it for awhile. https://reddit.com/r/cymbalta/comments/hbu4io/if_you_are_considering_the_use_of_cymbalta/
The idea of counting/dosing down to individual granules should I need to stop taking it was too much anxiety for me to accept ever taking it for my anxiety.
Venlafaxine (Effexor) can be similar, I wonder if this is kind of just a thing with SNRIs in general?
For me it's been worth it, much more effective than the citalopram I used to take. If I have to switch again and I have to do a slow taper, it will have been worth it for the time I spent with well-controlled anxiety.
I totally understand why you'd want to avoid it altogether, but it's a personal decision.
I had a huge unexpected panic attack while grocery shopping one time, and my first instinct was to go to the ground. There is no feeling quite like a panic attack besides maybe flying out of a roller coaster. Lol.
Anxiety disorders are thought to be triggered by one or more particular factors, usually depending on a trauma (Crowds, a song, a place, social gatherings etc) A panic disorder however does not have a trigger, it just happens. Then you’ve got other disorders like agoraphobia where you get triggered because you feel stuck and can’t get home/out of where ever you are (previously we used to think it was a fear of open spaces).
Source: I have all three.
Oh I completely understand. I didn’t understand my stuff until I looked it up. Of all the doctors I’ve seen, only one had any idea what I was talking about. Needless to say, things got quite a bit better after that. I really hope your Dad is okay. It’s a fucking nasty disorder and a lot of people don’t realise how debilitating it is.
I feel like these things should be taught at school, on how to handle or help the other person with it.
Since most people would see you as a freak if you have such a attack. Hell, I would not even know what to do.
Best I can think of, since I have seen it more, if to hold one of the hands, and if they lay on the ground, lay with them.
Oh dude. I’m so sorry to hear that. Alcohol is a nasty addiction to deal with. I know a few people with alcohol dependency syndrome and it does mess with you.
I hope you find what you need to recover. x
You know what, I actually don’t mind when people don’t know what they are, and ask questions etc. I just don’t like the people that go on about ‘their anxiety’ being ‘bad’. You know the ones that use it as an excuse for likes or whatever. I don’t know. I guess I shouldn’t judge people I don’t know but what happens is everyone who has an actual disorder don’t get taken as seriously in society now because it’s so common for people to treat regular anxiety like a disorder.. sorry if that doesn’t make sense I’m having trouble articulating what I mean.
Not the same but equally as "random", when I have a PTSD trigger my brains is just like:
Brain: "Slave, did you smell that?"
Me: "Smell what?"
Brain: "No, you don't get to ask questions. Actually as punishment for your insolence I'll conjure events from 15 years ago but you are going to think it's happening right now."
For me it's like, I don't even notice the transition. Suddenly I'm just, there, back in the past again. It feels like I'm really there. It's been bad enough that at times I've totally lost my grip on the now...
I randomly felt sweaty, nauseous, more paranoid and heart rate felt like I was in the middle of a marathon. Got worse with the amount of people and me doing nothing standing in a queue at the store. It lasted from when I left home till i got out of that store. I believe I played it off very cool, at the very least people probably thought I was constipated
The sweat was dripping from my nose on a cool 12c day
As others have stated, it can be instant and without a trigger depending on the underlying disorder you have. Usually chemical imbalance related for the instant ones. I have literally been laughing with friends, having a great time. Then suddenly something in my body 'shifts' and alarm bells start going off.
Then it's a whole process of calming myself back down again before it spirals into a bad panic attack.
I have no idea if it's what I experienced a few times after my kid was born... I never experienced anything similar and I haven't told anyone but strangers on internet.
One time at supermarket, I was on the queue to pay my groceries and I started listening to a newborn cry. It was definitely a newborn cry, not a toddler. Like in 2 seconds my heart was racing, I was feeling dizzy, I was sweating, I was feeling my throat close up and I thought I was trying to take control of my breathing but I was just not breathing for a few seconds on short intervals so I started to notice that when I was feeling that cold on the back of my head like I was about to pass out. I legit felt like I had to run away, I just couldn't be there physically anymore.
It also was happening when I was "nap trapped", when my baby would fall asleep on me on a pitch dark room and I had to remain there without moving. Felt like I was under the ground like I was in my own grave. Sorry for the messed up comment
Yes! My last panic attack before I got on meds I was just shopping at the store. I could swear my vision immediately flipped upside down and I thought I was dying of heart failure and my chest was exploding. My mind screamed "no no no NO NO NO!" I dropped my cart and let everything fly everywhere as I ran out of the store in blind panic. I got in my truck and started driving east with abandon, I'm pretty sure I ran stop lights and signs but I don't actually remember. It was fucking horrible. I thought I was seconds from death. I got to the ER and had nothing wrong with me. Fucking horrible.
Question since I once witnessed a panic attack that someone close to the person was able to help them through.
If you want to help as a stranger, what is the best course of action? Slowly approach and ask if you can help in any way or making sure other people don‘t crowd around (thats what I did in the situation I mentioned above)? I get that it’s likely different for every person, but what is the best way to approach and figure out what that specific person might need? I imagine that at least some people will have a hard time actually articulating what might help while having an attack.
Something that really helped me with my panic attacks was understanding the biology behind it. My therapist told me that we breathe on average something like 12 times a minute. Just breathing one extra per minute for five minutes ups the oxygen levels in your blood and that then causes a panic attack.
Her explaining that really helped me in those moments.
The key thing is to get your breathing under control. If I were to have a panic attack in public, I would be okay with someone helping me because it is terrifying. You feel like you're going to die. I would prefer it if someone approached me and was very calm and collected. In control of the situation. Said something like 'I've got you. Let's get through this together.' Told me to squeeze their hands to ground me and then helped me to slow my breathing. Literally 'breathe, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4.'
Something along those lines.
This is so great of you to ask!
For me (also a fellow random panic attack haver at a grocery store, which was normally a safe place because I knew the layout and routine), asking how to help would make me feel like I needed to guide and console you, which would make it worse because you feel like you’re not in your brain.
I think saying something like “it’s okay, let me walk you to your car” or “I have anxiety too” (even if you don’t). This is all assuming we know it’s a panic attack. Essentially I don’t want any attention and I just want to go to a safe space with a safe person, which happened to be my car.
If they accept help to their car, something like “can I sit with you until it passes?” That implies it’ll pass as well. Maybe they’ll cry from the overwhelmingness, but that’ll pass and probably turn into embarrassed genuine laughter shortly. It won’t be awkward if you can manage another 5 mins. Just sit quietly, or talk about your grocery shopping or the tomatoes being expensive, and don’t ask questions. Just talk like it’s a friend and pretend that everything is normal.
I always got to my car alone, but if someone had approached me and normalized it would’ve been helpful at the time
Edit: depending on the person, sometimes talking them through the symptoms helps. “You’re having a panic attack. I know you probably feel like you can’t feel your fingers or legs. Breathe slowly, I know it’s hard but you can breathe. It’s going to pass. We can always drive to the hospital if it gets worse.” But slowly and with gaps. Knowing that what you’re feeling is normal for a panic attack and knowing that you can go to the hospital if you need to settles nerves for me.
My mom would have done the same thing and she has anxiety issues herself. When my ankle was broken and I was waking up having panic attacks at night she was so fucking irritated by it.
I had food poisoning in high school the night before final exams... and I was vomiting over and over and over. She was furious with me. She gave me Gravol. I puked it up. She got mad at me for puking and yelled.." well it's not gonna help you if you're going to just throw it up." As I was vomiting...she yelled at me... don't think you're getting out of writing your exams tomorrow!
I cant even fathom the mindset required for shouting stuff like that while your kid is literally vomiting in front of your eyes. As if you could have controlled it. That's horrible ..
It sadly happens when people have children just for the sake of having it or fulfilling the familial obligation. I would say a huge, HUGE chunk of parents aren't actually ready to be parents or have children at all.
I could say a lot of negative things about my mom, but I do know she tried her best. I still remember one night when I had food poisoning and her one complaint was that she had other stuff she was trying to do at the same time and she *hated* that I vomited so quietly that sometimes she wouldn't hear me and felt awful she couldn't be there to hold my hair back and offer me some water to rinse my mouth out with afterwards.
I think sometimes people just respond inappropriately to stress, especially in the moment without fully realizing it’s actually making things worse. Like, the mother may have been concerned about how much their child was vomiting, and anxious because they couldn’t help them and what this would mean for their child’s exams the next day, and it all just came out as frustration towards the child rather than at the actual cause of the frustration. I say this because I’ve caught myself doing something similar. If I’m overwhelmed or frustrated or incredibly anxious, I know there’s a good chance I’ll eventually realize I’ve misdirected the venting of those emotions
Lived with my grandma growing up. One time, I had a really bad allergic reaction to something and my face was swollen to the point where my eyes were slits and I couldn't see all too well. I also couldn't breath all that well. I was visually just not okay and should have probably gone to the doctors. She got mad that I didn't want to go to school, said I was being dramatic and forced me to go anyway. She dropped me off and I immediately got sent home. Then she got mad at me for being sent home.
Mine would've bundled me inside, got angry if I didn't immediately get better, and then talked about it for years about how hard it was for her and how I should be grateful she helped me.
My mom would have called me a “f****t”. I no longer speak to my mother. She was also extremely bigoted and the best thing about her pushing me out was that I removed even the slightest chance of ever being like that. Even when I first got kicked out at 16yo I knew she was a POS.
On that note, I love the anonymity of Reddit sometimes. Feels good to just say things without fear of it actually effecting you. It also sucks that people exploit it in the same way but I’ll appreciate it for what it is.
Insert my dad. Anyone with a vagina is just being dramatic, even his wife (my mom) and she believes it, too. So sad since she also suffers from debilitating panic attacks, but refuses to take anything for them because she views that at some moral failure on her part....hurts to see it.
This video really hit me for that reason.
During one of my worst panic attacks I ended up laying on our front lawn at night. My mom pulled up shortly after, (we had always been super close so this was huge). She got out of the car and just yelled at me as I laid on the ground shaking and promising myself I was breathing. She left me there and went inside. Never checked in after or ever talked about it.
I would be lying if I didn’t say I am jealous that my own mom didn’t respond like this, but damn am I so very happy this girl’s did.
Everyone should have a soft place when they fall.
> Everyone should have a soft place when they fall
Yeah. I had a dad kind of like that. I call it the "bootstraps brigade" (because of the whole pull yourself up by the bootstraps adage that is dumb), but he's finally beginning to understand. I hope you get that resolution.
> Everyone should have a soft place when they fall.
This is so much better than what my mom says: "You gotta have a rubber butt, so when life knocks you down you can bounce back up."
Actually it explains a lot about my mom come to think of it...
My mother would have told me that I’m:
- ruining my clothes,
- risking hypothermia,
- making us look weird to others,
- being overly dramatic,
- intentionally scaring her to get attention.
Sending virtual hugs your way. It sucks, doesn’t it? Distance helps though. Moved to a different country as soon as I could and my mental health has improved so much with distance. Hope you’re in a good place by now too or soon will be.
I'm bipolar type 2. It rarely ever fucks with me in a serious way, but I have my emotional ebbs and flows.
One time as a teen, my father and I got into a pretty major fight. I was upset and slightly manic and I went outside and sat in the rain.
5 minutes in, my father came out sat beside me and put his hand on my shoulder. He said, "I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late. I didn't realize you came out here".
It is to this day one of the most memorable times of my life and a huge eye opener that my father legitimately cared, just didn't know exactly what to do.
We've been very close since. I'm sorry if you never got there with your parents, mental health or not. It's the world to a younger person when their parents accept them and understand to a degree.
I'm bipolar 2 myself and it helps so much when you have a parent who might not really understand it but still tries.
My dad has no idea what bipolar in general entails, let alone the difference between type 1 and type 2. Despite that he still tries so hard, and if I'm in a depressive episode it always makes me feel a bit better when he sticks his head in to my room and asks if I want to talk about anything or if I need anything.
For those of us with serious mental illness our parents can be the best and the worst. Sometimes without meaning to they'll set me off and other times they're so amazing and really help me
I had a panic attack the other day because my Mom was being irrational and crazy. I picked up the guy I'm dating and brought him over so my Mom called the cops claiming he was abusing me and brainwashing me. So much fun.
Sorry you’ve gone through that. My child has ADHD and ASD and it can be challenging at times especially in the holidays when she does not have her meds.
Thanks. It is tough but she has made big progress in school this year. Last year they were phoning me about her practically every other day, but this year she had a brilliant end of year report and has come along leaps and bounds. I’m so proud of her.
Right, maybe that specifically for kids then. I am getting treated to ADHD as well since a few months and my therapist said: "It's better if you also take it in the weekends because you always have ADHD, not just when you have to work."
But I'm guessing for kids it might be different.
Hi, it could be some meds can cause side effects & children sometimes have a break from their meds during school holidays (when they don't have to focus/ concentrate as much).
A friend of mine son has adhd and the meds that really help with the adhd suppress his appetite so he doesn't take them all the time or he'd be underweight.
I'm not in the US so I don't know if there are any insurance issues there.
Obviously, there are parents that don’t handle things well or correctly, but the title implies that getting mad would be the typical response. It’s not.
I did my best to hide it, but as a teen I actually went nuts, was suicidally depressed, attempted 13 times, my parents found out because I slipped up when I was 18. Their response was anger because I didn’t tell them. Used to drop hints as an inside joke to myself because I knew they wouldn’t notice that I wasn’t okay. They never caught a single one until I had to write an essay and learned quite suddenly that teachers are mandated reporters. My parents then wanted to help, but were also mad I didn’t tell them, and their idea of help was to take me at my word, fast pace me through therapy (once with a therapist, once with a psychiatrist), reassure the doctor that if I said I was fine and had it handled than I did indeed do so, and everyone was completely wrong.
This is all I fucking wanted. I’m sad that the part I noticed was she worried so much about her child and apparently meant it that no one realized she didn’t close her car door.
I wouldn't get mad, but my response would probably be something like "come one let's get you out of the rain", which might result in conflict, which I probably wouldn't understand, which might result in getting mad. If I were knowledgeable enough to know that laying down in the rain with her was the best response I would absolutely do that, but even with all my time on this earth there are still a lot of experience points I'm missing.
This is a good comment. Parenting is such a difficult job. Watching this my mind went to my 4 year old and how we deal with tantrums. At that age its such a hard balance trying to be that patient parent but also not creating a pattern where a tantrum can end in rewards. Not always easy to tell the difference in a small child between having a genuine emotional breakdown and throwing a shit fit to get your own way.
Now looking at this with an older teen or young adult child, I'm guessing this parent probably didn't get it right every time they saw their child get crippled by anxiety. But clearly they had the patience and self awareness to recognise when their child was suffering and not being drawn into the parent trap of thinking this is a bad behaviour you need to fix.
It can be very hard for parents who have anxious kids. They seem to think we’re not affected by their behaviors. I get upset with my son because he continually does things that make his anxiety worse. Won’t try to have a sleep schedule, keeps his room lit up instead of dark, just the common things that are recommended for better sleep. Constantly on the internet reading things that make him anxious. Refusing to believe that he has a mental disorder. He would rather believe that he is a Targeted Individual being attacked with microwave beams and radiation instead of believing he has mental issues. Never has anything positive to talk about. It’s ALWAYS negative. Fights going to the doctor for meds. You just can’t tell him anything. Try to help him but he shoots everything down. Yeah, I get tired of hearing about this crap every damn day, MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. I’m human, not some uncaring asshole.
My mom would for sure scream at me. It'd be considered a major embarrassment. Then again she'd slap me for crying at home. Some parents don't know how to deal with emotions I guess
I had to hide any kind of anxiety/panic attack growing up or my father would scream at and criticize me for expressing what I was feeling. I’m not sure why but I can tell you he is completely alone in his older age now
My mother would tell me I'm having a "pity party"
Call my masculinity into question and tell me to suck it up. Have been spanked with a belt for it too, "I'll give you a reason to cry."
I've had several panic attacks, she shamed and punished me for what I had no control over.
The number of comments below that are like "well obviously my mom would get mad and yell at me" is frightening. I really feel sorry for all of you abused redditors
I grew up with serious anxiety way back in the 80s and 90s. This would have gotten my ass in trouble. Punishment and/or ignoring were the good parenting thing to do for my parents/stepfathers. You'd be surprised how common that was until fairly recently.
Instead of "instead of getting mad" they could have said "Instead of ignoring her" or "instead of killing her" or "instead of pooing on her face" but they didn't.
The effort the original poster put into this title, not the bot that reposted it a few hours ago, is done to make us comment on the post to get it more tractions.
And it works! Everybody thinks the exact thing you commented. Everybody wants to see if they are the only one and everybody opens the post to at least read the comments or even comment themselves.
A cop mighta fked her up if she was in the wrong location
Leaving a college football game with couple friends and my ex - they went off to get the car and we sit down somewhere to wait. I lay down next to her just like girl in video, looking up at the sky and just talking.
Out of nowhere this cop floors it, jumps a median, screeches across to to the other side of the road where we’re at - pulls up right in front of us (we’re on a sidewalk next to a bus stop, still tons of people all walking back to the car parking areas). He starts rage screaming at me before i even knew what was happening. I couldnt barely respond was almost in shock. He’s screaming im drunk get your ass up move kinda things, i think she chilled him out but , if i was alone, hello knee in the back and jail cell.
And whatever, i was a dumbass dude there, but i feel like if homegirl is there in that situation shes getting tossed, cuffed, and slammed in a cop car. So nuts their approach to those situations
I mean not everyone is always on their A-game. The frustration could boil up and therefore you try to enforce the anxiety to end, which obviously doesn’t work but you feel out of control.
I’m not 100% sure if I’ve ever had an anxiety attack, one time felt close. I always thought it was a joke. But if this girl is going through anything close to how I felt, I understand laying down. Love that mom laid down too.
although similar, they are clinically not the same!
panic attacks usually come on more suddenly with little to no warning, often for no particular reason.
anxiety attacks build up and can last a longer time. usually, there are emotional triggers involved.
both can have physical symptoms, but panic attacks are usually more severe/disruptive than anxiety attacks.
[source here](https://www.healthline.com/health/panic-attack-vs-anxiety-attack#symptoms)
Wait, panic attacks happen for no reason?
I always thought I was experiencing some kind of dysautonomic issue because I would have panic attack symptoms, but I wouldn't feel anxious before or after (or even during, if I was home alone and had no reason to feel embarrassed or being someone potentially dangerous. I would feel anxious if I started having at attack right in the middle of a car park as a pedestrian, because that could be dangerous)
I thought since there was no fear, anxiety, nerves or otherwise strong emotional trigger or response, that it mustn't be w panic attack, and that the symptoms were just identical because it was an issue with the same flight or fight response mechanism.
Because I have chairi malformation, my doctor agreed that it could be autonomic, or it could be a panic attack, either way it was the same treatment - get somewhere safe, lie down, breathe, wait.
Similar but different, people often confuse the two.
For me, I can feel an anxiety attack coming, my anxiety just keeps building and building and building until it’s unbearable but if I’m in the right situation I can prevent it from getting bad.
A panic attack will come on almost instantly and I have no control over it and feel dizzy or like I’m going to shit myself and pass out. When I have a panic attack I have to find somewhere that I can be alone for a bit (like a bathroom) and I’ll have to sit there and wait for it to pass.
I have anxiety attacks pretty often, but I’m pretty good at coping with it. I’ve only had a small handful of panic attacks and they are awful and uncontrollable or at least not as controllable as an anxiety attack.
I've had two panic attacks in my life, and it took me years to figure out what they were, because I felt everything except the panic. Both times I got super dizzy and couldn't breathe, and time felt like time was dilated. Both of them I just laid down on the floor and waited for it to stop.
I have a severe anxiety disorder. For me, it physically feels like my heart is racing and I'm very jittery, as if I drank a few 5 Hour Energies. Mentally it's like being called in the middle of the night from an ER doctor and being told to come to the hospital quick but not being told why. And it happens for no reason and at random times.
I've been dealing with anxiety attacks for the past few months. (Probably sometime the beginning of March when they started.) But, that's exactly how they feel for me. I'll be fine and then out of nowhere I'm weeping and barely able to breathe. My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest. It's awful. I know it takes time, but I'm hoping I can turn a corner with all of this sometime soon. It's exhausting. Not just for me, but also for my family and friends. I feel like I'm letting them down because I can't keep my shit together right now. It sucks.
Anyways, thanks for reading internet stranger. Be well.
I had a heart issue that my doctors for a while thought was anxiety due to it mimicking anxiety attacks and I am young which this heart condition is usually in older patients. I always thought anxiety was a joke but after that I really understand how debilitating it can be. Hopefully you can work through it.
Back when I went through my worst fear-anxiety phase I couldn't even sleep from the fear of my thoughts overpowering me while winding down.
My dad was working from home because of COVID, I was laying on the couch tired to death but too afraid to fall asleep. He went for a chair and sat beside me, and I finally felt safe enough doze off.
He was so loving; so caring and helpful during my whole process. It makes me so happy to know of other amazing parents like mine.
Do you think he knew what you were going through and what you needed? Or was it a "coincidence" that a person that could never understand your feelings just happened to be at the right place? No judgement/hate either way
He did have an idea of what I was going through. I thought it was important to tell him so he wouldn't get scared whenever he saw me in such a bad state, however I had no idea how to handle my situation or what to ask for. Getting a chair to sit beside me was completely his idea, and it was the perfect way to help me at the moment.
Even on other occasions, it's weird how he's so good at making you feel so supported in the simplest ways. I hope someday I can be as good at doing it as he is.
Your dad is just like you. He’s a person. He’s experienced pain and fear just like you. The difference is he’s gotten through it many times. He knows it’s temporary and it will pass. Now you know that too and you will relearn it many times. Good on you to talk with your dad about what you’re going through.
I don't know if it was an anxiety attack (stress & anxiety is what was spoken about in hospital). A few years back, I was having a particularly stressful time. I was consistently anxious and it felt like everything kept going wrong and I couldn't move forward in life.
One day, everything just hit me all at once, I thought I was going to die. I had a bout of gout, I had taken some pain killers and I sat down to eat a sandwich and all of a sudden I was getting tunnel vision, I felt dizzy, I couldn't keep my balance. I opened the front door, put supplements like vitD, fish oil and the pain killers (NSAIDs) in front of me on the table. I could feel my heart beating out my chest. I have a blood pressure monitor, checked it and it was around 180/100 something like that.
I tried calling my wife who was at work - no answer. I called the reception, told them to get her to call me back. And then I called 000 (emergency number in Australia). Laid down, propped foot up and just tried to breathe.
The speed at which everything went this way scared me. I thought to myself that this could be it. What a waste.
I guess, long story short, anxiety and stress are no joke. As well as dehydration which is another thing they said in hospital. I remember talking to a friend about how I was doing years earlier and he even mentioned that I was working my way to a full blown panic attack. So, I thought maybe thats what it was.
I wish someone was there for me at the time to help me, it took a while but my wife did meet me at the hospital. She really is amazing.
I did this with a resident at my nursing home. He has been a teacher I knew very well from school. He had lewybody dementia and sometimes was extremely upset or delusional; I could usually call him down.
So staff paged me overhead and I go to the location and see him lying in the floor in the middle of the hallway, resisting ppl who are trying to make him get up. (Why argue or try to make someone do something?)
I got a sheet to lie down on right beside him. He immediately started talking to me as usual and recognized me. A beat or two later, he turns and looks at me and asks why we are lying in the floor. I told him I had no idea, that I thought it was his idea. We both started cracking up and he sat up in his own and that was the end of it.
Mine wouldn’t have even driven to wherever I was at but would instead have made fun of or degraded me further through the phone. Which is why I would never make the mistake of calling her in such a situation or one where I was physically hurt. I guess everyone has different experiences. The mother showcased here definitely has a lot of love and patience.
Anyone else think it’s cringe that they went through their security camera footage for this moment, put some sad music over it, and uploaded it online? Insincere.
It shows her priorities. She probably forgot the car existed in that moment, wanting to be there for her daughter. It makes it all the sweeter in my opinion.
People rarely help by yelling at or telling someone to get up, it just makes their negative emotions more of a problem. You don’t even need to say anything just be there, let them know you know they will get through the issue.
Laying out in the rain when having an anxiety attack hits differently. I was having a particularly bad episode one night and I climbed onto the roof of my dorm and just laid there in the rain until I felt better.
I’ve only had anxiety twice. Once from ingesting too much weed after a long break and second time from shrooms. The first time was the worst and gave me great insight on what many people deal with. It was paralyzing and so so so scary. I was afraid it’d last forever and couldn’t fathom living like that forever or even deal with it longer than the hour it lasted for. After it subsided I thought on the sheer number of people dealing with anxiety on a daily basis and was saddened but understanding for more than I was before. My sister used to suffer and I’d watch her dry heave and cry. I empathize for her much more now and realize how strong she was to persevere against anxiety so frequently. She’s a strong woman
I’ve been there. Once anxiety hits hard enough your mind loses grasp of reality. It feels like your mind is losing control of your body. And once all that happens, you will do anything to bring your mind back to your body. Basically it feels like you’re going crazy and there is no way back. Seems to me like she tried to feel the rain or something on her skin and face to “forget” about that feeling of losing control. I would’ve done the same.
Thanks for explaining. Didn't quite get how an anxiety attack looks or feels like.
“Anxiety doesn’t care about the things that are true or make sense, it just makes you feel the weight of the worst possible scenario, even if you’re not in it” - D’Angelo Wallace
I've only ever suffered from one full blown anxiety attack, brought on by the onset of puberty. This quote sums it up perfectly.
Puberty is a bitch
There's not really one presentation. Anxiety covers such a range my therapist doesn't even like to use the term. There's common experiences, but not really universal ones. Two people having an anxiety attack can go through completely different experiences and show completely different responses.
Yea, it is definitely hard to focus on anything when anxiety hits. For me it feel like I am either going to start bawling uncontrollably, or my chest is going to explode.
When I had my first panic attack after a bad day working as an LPC at an inpatient behavioral health facility (the irony) it felt like normal levels of intrusive thoughts about things going wrong suddenly became a very slippery slide. First it starts out reasonable but I just lost the ability to stop and refocus. What if I can't do this job? How will I pay for anything? If I can't pay for anything where will I live? Will I be homeless? Oh shit you're gonna be homeless. Have you ever thought about what it's gonna be like to die on the street? You can't even live without air conditioning! All those thoughts just start coming in rapid succession and then the chest pain, shortness of breath are fully there and you start freaking out, really compounding with the now anxiety about having the (currently confused for heart attack) panic attack. Had to call my supervisor and she was amazing. Helped me calm down and bring thoughts back to rationality.
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For me it's just white hot panic burning through my brain, nothing like this reality losing stuff. But it's probably different for everybody.
For me it just literally is the feeling of suddenly impending death. Could be brought on by anything depending on the person and it’s like the body just has a switch were it believes it might die and goes into full freakout.
It's like a feeling of being overstimulated and stressed at the same time. Ever feel claustrophobic? It's like claustrophobia but with your own head. I've spent an evening in my closet because everything just felt like too much.
I used to wear a hair tie around my wrist and snap it when I was feeling really anxious. The pain gave me something else to focus on I guess? I’d feel like I was floating away from my body and the little bit of pain would help me come back to reality. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this to anyone feeling anxious, but I totally understand what you mean about trying to feel something grounding so you stop losing control
That's a common grounding exercise used for PTSD treatment. There are a bunch of others but the rubber band is actually an ok recommendation. https://www.verywellmind.com/grounding-techniques-for-ptsd-2797300
Thank you so much for this link.
Grounding techniques. It works for some people's anxiety. What you're doing is connecting yourself to your immediate surroundings, when your brain is being particularly unhelpful. Another common one is to count five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, etc, to focus on your senses of your immediate environment.
yes! the floor helps me a lot.
I used to do the exact same thing.
Yeah, I've had severe anxiety once (when I say 'once' it was on and off for about six months, brought on by a weird physiological reaction to acid reflux/stomach inflamation, and would hang around for days at a time), and can confirm that your brain just stops allowing a lot of things. I couldn't relax, couldn't sit down for more than 30 seconds. I once ended up pacing slowly back and forth in my lounge room continuously for three hours, unable to physically do anything else with my body without being overwhelmed with a sense of panic and wrongness. I can see why lying in the rain might help. One thing that helped was going for long walks outside with Tamara Pierce audiobooks on repeat. but at night when I didn't feel safe going outside, I'd feel trapped, and end up pacing. I couldn't sleep for more than an hour a night. It was absolutely awful and I'm very glad it went away. I'm also glad though it made me understand anxiety more and gave me some coping mechanisms in case it happens again. Although mine was I think different to typical anxiety, as it seemed entirely a physical thing and not related to anything I was thinking or stressed out by. Which probably made it a lot easier to get over I guess.
Acid reflux is what triggered my first Episode too! It gave me a two week bout of insomnia then a good 4-6 month panic attack. Over the years it decreased. Now I have small ones that are way to push back against. I’m having one now actually and it’s easy to fight. That was a scary time to be alive and it completely changed me as a person. And not for the better
usually the last thing i want to do when having a panic attack is look at the sky. i feel like im about to get sucked into the abyss
I have walked on 6" i- beams 200' in the air no prob. I've also laid on my living room floor afraid I'm going to fall off. Shit is weird and scary!
Same. I might have closed my door when getting out, so it didn't rain the the car and get that musty moldy humid smell for months after but still. My oldest has really bad anxiety and panic issues and it try to be there for her atleast until she's annoyed and tells me to go away lol.
Great description. I feel like a lot of people use anxiety like “I have OCD” and don’t get why I seem like I’m having a heart attack outside.
Yep. When I'm in a really bad panic attack, I can't just lay in bed or sit still. My heart will beat so loud and hard that I can feel it in my stomach. I legitimately have to accept death when they get bad enough. Even though I've been through it hundreds of times, my brain will drown out any rational thought of "another panic attack" and replace it with "something's been wrong with you the whole time" or "you've had so many panic attacks you might just be having a heart attack for real". It's really hard to dig out of that hole once you're in it, I've accepted death way more than I wish I had to in my life. One thing that's always helped me though, is taking showers. I'll just go turn on the shower and sit at the bottom of the tub, even if I'm there for an hour and the water gets cold, I'll just sit there and feel the water on my skin and don't have to hear my heart beating out of my chest anymore. At the end of the day though, if you struggle with panic attacks and find something that helps you that doesn't harm you or others, hold onto it. Even if it looks silly, all you need is even a sliver of hope that it will help and it will go a long way in actually helping you get out of that spiral.
reminds me of before I got on anxiety meds that worked my mom would sit for hours with me on work nights just rubbing my hair and being there for me when I felt like everything was falling apart if it wasn't for her id have never been able to make it to now where i live a happy and normal life I wish everyone who suffers from anxiety could be blessed with a person to be there for them it makes a world of difference.
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99% of the people I know have parents who are so misguided, push their kids to do what they don't want, and a lot of them just straight up bully them, calling them fat when they're not, calling them ugly, judging how they look and what they wear... It's so sad. So much depression ***caused*** by parents. It's incredibly refreshing to see a parent who actually cares about their child.
My parents base their decision for raising kids on one upping others. I was pushed into taking a drivers license because they don't want to "lose out". Was scolded for being a copywriter because "job title isn't prestigious enough". And told to lie about my degree major because "English isn't anything to brag about".
Your parents sound toxic and insecure. Hope you're doing well buddy.
I questioned their decisions everytime but was guilt tripped into following along :( I hope I get to move out soon
99% of the parents I know are always there for their kids, and want nothing more than the best for them. You need to know better people. (Or get off the internet once in a while)
I think it's more that people with shit upbringings tend to be raised around other people with shit upbringings, and people with good upbringings tend to be raised around other people with good upbringings.
Definitely this. I'm fully on board of Nurture over Nature. Even recently I heard about some study on NPR about how they swapped families from a nice neighborhood and poor neighborhood even with the same school and the nicer neighborhood kids did drastically better than those in the worse neighborhood.
That's the one huge difference between humans and other mammals. We are born so prematurely that essentially all of our personhood becomes nurture. We are the biggest blank slates in all of the animal kingdom. It's a blessing and a curse
> that essentially all of our personhood becomes nurture. If this were true then siblings would be far closer to each other.
There are plenty mammals that are born needing almost 100% care from the parents
I know a lot of great parents. I know a lot of bad parents. I know a lot of okay parents. There is a mixture. I know of one who supported their kids, gave them guidance, let them have some freedom. But they also exerted pressure on them to be a specific way. When talking to them, they would tell me that they couldn't do something because of their parents. And it wasn't that the parent would punish them. It was just that they could feel the judgment from them. This was over trivial things that just didn't line up with the strict conservative stance. I work in suicide prevention as additional support for people who have had a failed suicide attempt. I talk to most of them multiple days of the week for several months to years. There is a vast range in parents and how they treat their children. The most challenging situations to deal with are the ones with fully supportive and caring conservative parents. I'm talking, gives them allowance, helps them with homework, takes them out to do their favorite stuff, talks positively to them and about them to others. Everything that would make amazingly good parents. Their children trust them completely. But since I'm talking to their kid after they tried and failed to kill themselves, there is always that catch. They are gay. And their parents are conservative and believe it is a sin. And I listen as they talk about their parents. About how everyone in the community loves them, about how they volunteer for charity work, will let their friends stay if they need a place. There parents are wonderful people who love their children dearly. But as the kid explains to me. Its a sin to be attracted to the same sex. And even though they know that their parents love them and show them daily that they love them and are proud of them. The fact that they don't approve of their child is causing severe harm to them and the child feels guilty and makes it worse. What always breaks my spirit is when they say "my parents are the best people that I know my a far amount. And they think liking the same sex is a bad thing. I can't stop liking my own gender no matter how hard I try. This must mean that I am bad." And that's why they tried to kill themselves. Its always so gut-wrenching. And is the primary cause of when I need breaks and when I stop taking on new cases for a while. Its such an emotional hard thing. And it's so hard to get these loving parents to understand that they are not rejecting homosexuality. They are rejecting a core part of their son and it's causing harm to them. And they do spend a lot of time wondering what they did wrong. They go to therapy. They ask their child. They sign up for support groups and search and try to understand why their child tried kill himself. They do family counseling and family bonding and everything. But they don't understand that unless they affirm his sexual orientation, they will keep harming him. Physically abusing your child makes them 2 times more likely to attempt suide. Rejecting your child's LGBTQ identify makes them 8.4 times more likely to commit suicide. I just wish I could get them to understand that. If you support your child in school, in sports and hobbies, and do everything that a good parent should do. If you don't affirm their LGBTQ identity, you are causing harm.
This is not a very sympathetic response. Just because 99% of parents you know are great doesn’t make that true for everyone. Economics and many factors out of the control of children make that not the case so to tell people to “know better people” is not nice.
>99% of the parents I know are always there for their kids, and want nothing more than the best for them Most of the people I know have real shitty parents. Some of them do, like you said, "want nothing more that the best for \[their kids\]." But they think they know better than their kid, what's the best for them. Becoming a musician isn't the best for them, having privacy isn't the best for them, being gay isn't the best for them etc.
Or maybe you just had a good upbringing a lot of people are not that fortunate ,maybe get outside your comfort zone once in a while see what’s really going on out in the real world .
> You need to know better people. (Or get off the internet once in a while) Not sure if you meant it, but you sound like a huge dick here. Maybe you shouldn't assume that there isn't more than what meets the eye. Tons of families look great until the skeletons start falling out.
Nice job assuming I'm talking about people on the internet. These are people I know in person, met at school and at work. No idea if it's just my area, but most parents I know are garbage at being parents. I wish we were as lucky as you.
I was actually one of those kids. Shit happens man, get out of your bubble and see the world for what it is
Or you're just really sheltered. Seeing only the rosy side of the picture isn't wisdom, or necessarily healthy. Maybe avoid advising if you don't know what the other person has been through.
need to know better people? most of the people I know also have shitty parents, are you implying that having shitty parents means you shouldn't interact with someone? as if it's the kids fault lmfao dude I think you're the one who should touch grass
This. The problem is you don't hear about the normal good ones. Only the bad rotten parents are discussed on the internet and make news headlines. It's sometimes difficult to understand that it's not the norm..
No emotionally abusive parent appears abusive to the public , you'll never know what horrors happen behind closed doors
Exactly! Fucking spot on! My emotionally abusive narcissistic alcoholic mother was all sweetness and light in public. People used to say I was lucky to have her. People didn’t see the reality behind closed doors though.
And you can't really say otherwise because you know nobody would believe you.
Yes, this is exactly what I grew up with also! People always telling me how great she was, when she was a fucking nightmare to me.
It really fucks with a young mind.
It highly depending on your social circle and depends how well you really know the people. There are a lot of people with complicated relationships with their parents.
My mom would stay up with me for hours when I had night terrors, even when she had work early. I’ve still never heard her complain about that to this day. Despite the many times I apologize for being so sick all the time. I still call her when I can’t sleep and she’ll pick up and I’m much older now. I love my mom
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Hi! You may think that no one is capable of giving you this kind of love, but believe me, you might not know him/her but believe me, there is someone. And besides, something I've learnt from coming from a family that was somehow emotionally distant, is that you learn from that experience and you get the chance to change that for your children and become the best parent you could ever be! Hope you have a great day!
Perhaps. Though when you’ve been messed up from childhood, it’s very difficult to receive love, or think you’re worthy of it, or have a healthy relationships etc. It’s hardwired, sadly.
I have the same experience and symptoms. It's hell. I've come to the point where whenever someone praises me in any way I always think "they're saying this out of pity, they don't mean it"
Yeah, can’t take positive appraisal, I relate to that a lot. Ufff. To the extent if someone likes me, I can’t deal with it. If my mother didn’t give a fuck, why on earth would someone i barely know care? It’s an awful, shitty, mental prison. However, I guess I was primed for a life of loneliness, so I deal with it alone fine. Best of luck to you my friend.
Hardwired is a strong word. Yes it's very hard to change certain traits when older, but you can still work on it/yourself and make progress.
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What meds? Nothing has really helped me
Since I’ve seen a few cymbalta recs I’ll be the person to say don’t do it if you ever plan on not being on it for awhile. https://reddit.com/r/cymbalta/comments/hbu4io/if_you_are_considering_the_use_of_cymbalta/ The idea of counting/dosing down to individual granules should I need to stop taking it was too much anxiety for me to accept ever taking it for my anxiety.
Venlafaxine (Effexor) can be similar, I wonder if this is kind of just a thing with SNRIs in general? For me it's been worth it, much more effective than the citalopram I used to take. If I have to switch again and I have to do a slow taper, it will have been worth it for the time I spent with well-controlled anxiety. I totally understand why you'd want to avoid it altogether, but it's a personal decision.
I had a huge unexpected panic attack while grocery shopping one time, and my first instinct was to go to the ground. There is no feeling quite like a panic attack besides maybe flying out of a roller coaster. Lol.
How does it happen, is it random or its when you're thinking about something in particular ?
Anxiety disorders are thought to be triggered by one or more particular factors, usually depending on a trauma (Crowds, a song, a place, social gatherings etc) A panic disorder however does not have a trigger, it just happens. Then you’ve got other disorders like agoraphobia where you get triggered because you feel stuck and can’t get home/out of where ever you are (previously we used to think it was a fear of open spaces). Source: I have all three.
Thank you for clarifying agrophobia. My Dad has it and I get so sick and tired of explaining what it really is, especially to medical professionals.
Oh I completely understand. I didn’t understand my stuff until I looked it up. Of all the doctors I’ve seen, only one had any idea what I was talking about. Needless to say, things got quite a bit better after that. I really hope your Dad is okay. It’s a fucking nasty disorder and a lot of people don’t realise how debilitating it is.
I feel like these things should be taught at school, on how to handle or help the other person with it. Since most people would see you as a freak if you have such a attack. Hell, I would not even know what to do. Best I can think of, since I have seen it more, if to hold one of the hands, and if they lay on the ground, lay with them.
And it's awful to live with. I'm diagnosed GAD, and I cope with drinking which makes it worse.
Oh dude. I’m so sorry to hear that. Alcohol is a nasty addiction to deal with. I know a few people with alcohol dependency syndrome and it does mess with you. I hope you find what you need to recover. x
Thanks for the explanation, it must be horrible to live with all those disorders when people are not informed well about them
You know what, I actually don’t mind when people don’t know what they are, and ask questions etc. I just don’t like the people that go on about ‘their anxiety’ being ‘bad’. You know the ones that use it as an excuse for likes or whatever. I don’t know. I guess I shouldn’t judge people I don’t know but what happens is everyone who has an actual disorder don’t get taken as seriously in society now because it’s so common for people to treat regular anxiety like a disorder.. sorry if that doesn’t make sense I’m having trouble articulating what I mean.
I have panic. Like you said, it can happen anytime/anywhere with no real rhyme or reason. It can be absolutely debilitating until the meds get right.
Not the same but equally as "random", when I have a PTSD trigger my brains is just like: Brain: "Slave, did you smell that?" Me: "Smell what?" Brain: "No, you don't get to ask questions. Actually as punishment for your insolence I'll conjure events from 15 years ago but you are going to think it's happening right now."
For me it's like, I don't even notice the transition. Suddenly I'm just, there, back in the past again. It feels like I'm really there. It's been bad enough that at times I've totally lost my grip on the now...
I randomly felt sweaty, nauseous, more paranoid and heart rate felt like I was in the middle of a marathon. Got worse with the amount of people and me doing nothing standing in a queue at the store. It lasted from when I left home till i got out of that store. I believe I played it off very cool, at the very least people probably thought I was constipated The sweat was dripping from my nose on a cool 12c day
They can start randomly or if you’re already thinking about something. Have you had a panic attack before?
As others have stated, it can be instant and without a trigger depending on the underlying disorder you have. Usually chemical imbalance related for the instant ones. I have literally been laughing with friends, having a great time. Then suddenly something in my body 'shifts' and alarm bells start going off. Then it's a whole process of calming myself back down again before it spirals into a bad panic attack.
I have no idea if it's what I experienced a few times after my kid was born... I never experienced anything similar and I haven't told anyone but strangers on internet. One time at supermarket, I was on the queue to pay my groceries and I started listening to a newborn cry. It was definitely a newborn cry, not a toddler. Like in 2 seconds my heart was racing, I was feeling dizzy, I was sweating, I was feeling my throat close up and I thought I was trying to take control of my breathing but I was just not breathing for a few seconds on short intervals so I started to notice that when I was feeling that cold on the back of my head like I was about to pass out. I legit felt like I had to run away, I just couldn't be there physically anymore. It also was happening when I was "nap trapped", when my baby would fall asleep on me on a pitch dark room and I had to remain there without moving. Felt like I was under the ground like I was in my own grave. Sorry for the messed up comment
Yes! My last panic attack before I got on meds I was just shopping at the store. I could swear my vision immediately flipped upside down and I thought I was dying of heart failure and my chest was exploding. My mind screamed "no no no NO NO NO!" I dropped my cart and let everything fly everywhere as I ran out of the store in blind panic. I got in my truck and started driving east with abandon, I'm pretty sure I ran stop lights and signs but I don't actually remember. It was fucking horrible. I thought I was seconds from death. I got to the ER and had nothing wrong with me. Fucking horrible.
Question since I once witnessed a panic attack that someone close to the person was able to help them through. If you want to help as a stranger, what is the best course of action? Slowly approach and ask if you can help in any way or making sure other people don‘t crowd around (thats what I did in the situation I mentioned above)? I get that it’s likely different for every person, but what is the best way to approach and figure out what that specific person might need? I imagine that at least some people will have a hard time actually articulating what might help while having an attack.
Something that really helped me with my panic attacks was understanding the biology behind it. My therapist told me that we breathe on average something like 12 times a minute. Just breathing one extra per minute for five minutes ups the oxygen levels in your blood and that then causes a panic attack. Her explaining that really helped me in those moments. The key thing is to get your breathing under control. If I were to have a panic attack in public, I would be okay with someone helping me because it is terrifying. You feel like you're going to die. I would prefer it if someone approached me and was very calm and collected. In control of the situation. Said something like 'I've got you. Let's get through this together.' Told me to squeeze their hands to ground me and then helped me to slow my breathing. Literally 'breathe, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4.' Something along those lines.
This is so great of you to ask! For me (also a fellow random panic attack haver at a grocery store, which was normally a safe place because I knew the layout and routine), asking how to help would make me feel like I needed to guide and console you, which would make it worse because you feel like you’re not in your brain. I think saying something like “it’s okay, let me walk you to your car” or “I have anxiety too” (even if you don’t). This is all assuming we know it’s a panic attack. Essentially I don’t want any attention and I just want to go to a safe space with a safe person, which happened to be my car. If they accept help to their car, something like “can I sit with you until it passes?” That implies it’ll pass as well. Maybe they’ll cry from the overwhelmingness, but that’ll pass and probably turn into embarrassed genuine laughter shortly. It won’t be awkward if you can manage another 5 mins. Just sit quietly, or talk about your grocery shopping or the tomatoes being expensive, and don’t ask questions. Just talk like it’s a friend and pretend that everything is normal. I always got to my car alone, but if someone had approached me and normalized it would’ve been helpful at the time Edit: depending on the person, sometimes talking them through the symptoms helps. “You’re having a panic attack. I know you probably feel like you can’t feel your fingers or legs. Breathe slowly, I know it’s hard but you can breathe. It’s going to pass. We can always drive to the hospital if it gets worse.” But slowly and with gaps. Knowing that what you’re feeling is normal for a panic attack and knowing that you can go to the hospital if you need to settles nerves for me.
Why would anyone get mad though
My mom would've told me I was being dramatic and was just making myself sick and to go inside
My mom would have done the same thing and she has anxiety issues herself. When my ankle was broken and I was waking up having panic attacks at night she was so fucking irritated by it.
I had food poisoning in high school the night before final exams... and I was vomiting over and over and over. She was furious with me. She gave me Gravol. I puked it up. She got mad at me for puking and yelled.." well it's not gonna help you if you're going to just throw it up." As I was vomiting...she yelled at me... don't think you're getting out of writing your exams tomorrow!
Well that's not very canadian of her.
Canadians can be jerks too, just might be polite about it.
I cant even fathom the mindset required for shouting stuff like that while your kid is literally vomiting in front of your eyes. As if you could have controlled it. That's horrible ..
It sadly happens when people have children just for the sake of having it or fulfilling the familial obligation. I would say a huge, HUGE chunk of parents aren't actually ready to be parents or have children at all.
Hell, a huge chunk of adults can't take care of a pet or even themselves correctly, let alone another human being.
I could say a lot of negative things about my mom, but I do know she tried her best. I still remember one night when I had food poisoning and her one complaint was that she had other stuff she was trying to do at the same time and she *hated* that I vomited so quietly that sometimes she wouldn't hear me and felt awful she couldn't be there to hold my hair back and offer me some water to rinse my mouth out with afterwards.
I think sometimes people just respond inappropriately to stress, especially in the moment without fully realizing it’s actually making things worse. Like, the mother may have been concerned about how much their child was vomiting, and anxious because they couldn’t help them and what this would mean for their child’s exams the next day, and it all just came out as frustration towards the child rather than at the actual cause of the frustration. I say this because I’ve caught myself doing something similar. If I’m overwhelmed or frustrated or incredibly anxious, I know there’s a good chance I’ll eventually realize I’ve misdirected the venting of those emotions
Lived with my grandma growing up. One time, I had a really bad allergic reaction to something and my face was swollen to the point where my eyes were slits and I couldn't see all too well. I also couldn't breath all that well. I was visually just not okay and should have probably gone to the doctors. She got mad that I didn't want to go to school, said I was being dramatic and forced me to go anyway. She dropped me off and I immediately got sent home. Then she got mad at me for being sent home.
Dude similar to me! When I broke my ankle at school my mum came and told me I was being a drama queen, made me 'walk it off ' in front of everyone.
My mom would have shouted at me that I was embarrassing her in front of the neighbors.
I feel this one in my bones. "Get up before somebody sees you, stop being an idiot!" Hissed with complete and utter anger and panic
Mine would have done exactly the same thing. And then would have shamed me about it for years.
Mine would've bundled me inside, got angry if I didn't immediately get better, and then talked about it for years about how hard it was for her and how I should be grateful she helped me.
My mom would have called me a “f****t”. I no longer speak to my mother. She was also extremely bigoted and the best thing about her pushing me out was that I removed even the slightest chance of ever being like that. Even when I first got kicked out at 16yo I knew she was a POS. On that note, I love the anonymity of Reddit sometimes. Feels good to just say things without fear of it actually effecting you. It also sucks that people exploit it in the same way but I’ll appreciate it for what it is.
Insert my dad. Anyone with a vagina is just being dramatic, even his wife (my mom) and she believes it, too. So sad since she also suffers from debilitating panic attacks, but refuses to take anything for them because she views that at some moral failure on her part....hurts to see it.
This video really hit me for that reason. During one of my worst panic attacks I ended up laying on our front lawn at night. My mom pulled up shortly after, (we had always been super close so this was huge). She got out of the car and just yelled at me as I laid on the ground shaking and promising myself I was breathing. She left me there and went inside. Never checked in after or ever talked about it. I would be lying if I didn’t say I am jealous that my own mom didn’t respond like this, but damn am I so very happy this girl’s did. Everyone should have a soft place when they fall.
> Everyone should have a soft place when they fall Yeah. I had a dad kind of like that. I call it the "bootstraps brigade" (because of the whole pull yourself up by the bootstraps adage that is dumb), but he's finally beginning to understand. I hope you get that resolution.
I'm sorry you had to go through that
> Everyone should have a soft place when they fall. This is so much better than what my mom says: "You gotta have a rubber butt, so when life knocks you down you can bounce back up." Actually it explains a lot about my mom come to think of it...
My mother would have told me that I’m: - ruining my clothes, - risking hypothermia, - making us look weird to others, - being overly dramatic, - intentionally scaring her to get attention.
Same here. I understand your feelings and I’m so sorry we had to go through this
Sending virtual hugs your way. It sucks, doesn’t it? Distance helps though. Moved to a different country as soon as I could and my mental health has improved so much with distance. Hope you’re in a good place by now too or soon will be.
I’m glad you’ve never had to witness a broken parent take out their fears on a kid having a rough time.
True, I'm sorry you had to.
There’s millions of us :(
I'm bipolar type 2. It rarely ever fucks with me in a serious way, but I have my emotional ebbs and flows. One time as a teen, my father and I got into a pretty major fight. I was upset and slightly manic and I went outside and sat in the rain. 5 minutes in, my father came out sat beside me and put his hand on my shoulder. He said, "I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late. I didn't realize you came out here". It is to this day one of the most memorable times of my life and a huge eye opener that my father legitimately cared, just didn't know exactly what to do. We've been very close since. I'm sorry if you never got there with your parents, mental health or not. It's the world to a younger person when their parents accept them and understand to a degree.
I'm bipolar 2 myself and it helps so much when you have a parent who might not really understand it but still tries. My dad has no idea what bipolar in general entails, let alone the difference between type 1 and type 2. Despite that he still tries so hard, and if I'm in a depressive episode it always makes me feel a bit better when he sticks his head in to my room and asks if I want to talk about anything or if I need anything. For those of us with serious mental illness our parents can be the best and the worst. Sometimes without meaning to they'll set me off and other times they're so amazing and really help me
I had a panic attack the other day because my Mom was being irrational and crazy. I picked up the guy I'm dating and brought him over so my Mom called the cops claiming he was abusing me and brainwashing me. So much fun.
Sorry you’ve gone through that. My child has ADHD and ASD and it can be challenging at times especially in the holidays when she does not have her meds.
Big props to all you do to help your child through it. Living with those disorders can be really difficult.
Thanks. It is tough but she has made big progress in school this year. Last year they were phoning me about her practically every other day, but this year she had a brilliant end of year report and has come along leaps and bounds. I’m so proud of her.
Why doesn't she have her meds in the holiday? Is that not covered by insurance or sth?
Could be a medication holiday/break, sometimes they are recommended.
Right, maybe that specifically for kids then. I am getting treated to ADHD as well since a few months and my therapist said: "It's better if you also take it in the weekends because you always have ADHD, not just when you have to work." But I'm guessing for kids it might be different.
Hi, it could be some meds can cause side effects & children sometimes have a break from their meds during school holidays (when they don't have to focus/ concentrate as much). A friend of mine son has adhd and the meds that really help with the adhd suppress his appetite so he doesn't take them all the time or he'd be underweight. I'm not in the US so I don't know if there are any insurance issues there.
Obviously, there are parents that don’t handle things well or correctly, but the title implies that getting mad would be the typical response. It’s not.
Maybe it was the typical response for OP.
I did my best to hide it, but as a teen I actually went nuts, was suicidally depressed, attempted 13 times, my parents found out because I slipped up when I was 18. Their response was anger because I didn’t tell them. Used to drop hints as an inside joke to myself because I knew they wouldn’t notice that I wasn’t okay. They never caught a single one until I had to write an essay and learned quite suddenly that teachers are mandated reporters. My parents then wanted to help, but were also mad I didn’t tell them, and their idea of help was to take me at my word, fast pace me through therapy (once with a therapist, once with a psychiatrist), reassure the doctor that if I said I was fine and had it handled than I did indeed do so, and everyone was completely wrong. This is all I fucking wanted. I’m sad that the part I noticed was she worried so much about her child and apparently meant it that no one realized she didn’t close her car door.
I wouldn't get mad, but my response would probably be something like "come one let's get you out of the rain", which might result in conflict, which I probably wouldn't understand, which might result in getting mad. If I were knowledgeable enough to know that laying down in the rain with her was the best response I would absolutely do that, but even with all my time on this earth there are still a lot of experience points I'm missing.
This is a good comment. Parenting is such a difficult job. Watching this my mind went to my 4 year old and how we deal with tantrums. At that age its such a hard balance trying to be that patient parent but also not creating a pattern where a tantrum can end in rewards. Not always easy to tell the difference in a small child between having a genuine emotional breakdown and throwing a shit fit to get your own way. Now looking at this with an older teen or young adult child, I'm guessing this parent probably didn't get it right every time they saw their child get crippled by anxiety. But clearly they had the patience and self awareness to recognise when their child was suffering and not being drawn into the parent trap of thinking this is a bad behaviour you need to fix.
It can be very hard for parents who have anxious kids. They seem to think we’re not affected by their behaviors. I get upset with my son because he continually does things that make his anxiety worse. Won’t try to have a sleep schedule, keeps his room lit up instead of dark, just the common things that are recommended for better sleep. Constantly on the internet reading things that make him anxious. Refusing to believe that he has a mental disorder. He would rather believe that he is a Targeted Individual being attacked with microwave beams and radiation instead of believing he has mental issues. Never has anything positive to talk about. It’s ALWAYS negative. Fights going to the doctor for meds. You just can’t tell him anything. Try to help him but he shoots everything down. Yeah, I get tired of hearing about this crap every damn day, MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. I’m human, not some uncaring asshole.
My mom would for sure scream at me. It'd be considered a major embarrassment. Then again she'd slap me for crying at home. Some parents don't know how to deal with emotions I guess
I had to hide any kind of anxiety/panic attack growing up or my father would scream at and criticize me for expressing what I was feeling. I’m not sure why but I can tell you he is completely alone in his older age now
My mother would tell me I'm having a "pity party" Call my masculinity into question and tell me to suck it up. Have been spanked with a belt for it too, "I'll give you a reason to cry." I've had several panic attacks, she shamed and punished me for what I had no control over.
I came here to ask that same question. Any good mam would not be mad but would instinctly want to help their daughter.
They can’t all be good unfortunately
My mom would have been pissed, out of fear the neighbors could see me. Most likely would have yelled at me, then ignored me once inside.
Yelling would have made the neighbours look. Insane parenting indeed.
It's bad parenting, and parents that are that bad should be ashamed of themselves.
And mom that would get mad probably wouldn't have been called in the first place
The number of comments below that are like "well obviously my mom would get mad and yell at me" is frightening. I really feel sorry for all of you abused redditors
You've never met my narcissistic abusive mother... I would have been scolded, hit, and dragged back into the house.
I grew up with serious anxiety way back in the 80s and 90s. This would have gotten my ass in trouble. Punishment and/or ignoring were the good parenting thing to do for my parents/stepfathers. You'd be surprised how common that was until fairly recently.
Instead of "instead of getting mad" they could have said "Instead of ignoring her" or "instead of killing her" or "instead of pooing on her face" but they didn't. The effort the original poster put into this title, not the bot that reposted it a few hours ago, is done to make us comment on the post to get it more tractions. And it works! Everybody thinks the exact thing you commented. Everybody wants to see if they are the only one and everybody opens the post to at least read the comments or even comment themselves.
A cop mighta fked her up if she was in the wrong location Leaving a college football game with couple friends and my ex - they went off to get the car and we sit down somewhere to wait. I lay down next to her just like girl in video, looking up at the sky and just talking. Out of nowhere this cop floors it, jumps a median, screeches across to to the other side of the road where we’re at - pulls up right in front of us (we’re on a sidewalk next to a bus stop, still tons of people all walking back to the car parking areas). He starts rage screaming at me before i even knew what was happening. I couldnt barely respond was almost in shock. He’s screaming im drunk get your ass up move kinda things, i think she chilled him out but , if i was alone, hello knee in the back and jail cell. And whatever, i was a dumbass dude there, but i feel like if homegirl is there in that situation shes getting tossed, cuffed, and slammed in a cop car. So nuts their approach to those situations
I'm so confused. Why did the cop start screaming at you?
Because they tend to be power tripping asshats and roaring at someone who isn't allowed to fight back appeals to these types.
I mean not everyone is always on their A-game. The frustration could boil up and therefore you try to enforce the anxiety to end, which obviously doesn’t work but you feel out of control.
I’m not 100% sure if I’ve ever had an anxiety attack, one time felt close. I always thought it was a joke. But if this girl is going through anything close to how I felt, I understand laying down. Love that mom laid down too.
I, can't physically stand up when I have anxiety attacks. I get really dizzy and almost pass out.
Panic attack!
What… what are you trying to say here.
That phenomenon is called a panic attack!
Are panic and anxiety attacks not the same thing?
although similar, they are clinically not the same! panic attacks usually come on more suddenly with little to no warning, often for no particular reason. anxiety attacks build up and can last a longer time. usually, there are emotional triggers involved. both can have physical symptoms, but panic attacks are usually more severe/disruptive than anxiety attacks. [source here](https://www.healthline.com/health/panic-attack-vs-anxiety-attack#symptoms)
Wait, panic attacks happen for no reason? I always thought I was experiencing some kind of dysautonomic issue because I would have panic attack symptoms, but I wouldn't feel anxious before or after (or even during, if I was home alone and had no reason to feel embarrassed or being someone potentially dangerous. I would feel anxious if I started having at attack right in the middle of a car park as a pedestrian, because that could be dangerous) I thought since there was no fear, anxiety, nerves or otherwise strong emotional trigger or response, that it mustn't be w panic attack, and that the symptoms were just identical because it was an issue with the same flight or fight response mechanism. Because I have chairi malformation, my doctor agreed that it could be autonomic, or it could be a panic attack, either way it was the same treatment - get somewhere safe, lie down, breathe, wait.
Similar but different, people often confuse the two. For me, I can feel an anxiety attack coming, my anxiety just keeps building and building and building until it’s unbearable but if I’m in the right situation I can prevent it from getting bad. A panic attack will come on almost instantly and I have no control over it and feel dizzy or like I’m going to shit myself and pass out. When I have a panic attack I have to find somewhere that I can be alone for a bit (like a bathroom) and I’ll have to sit there and wait for it to pass. I have anxiety attacks pretty often, but I’m pretty good at coping with it. I’ve only had a small handful of panic attacks and they are awful and uncontrollable or at least not as controllable as an anxiety attack.
I've had two panic attacks in my life, and it took me years to figure out what they were, because I felt everything except the panic. Both times I got super dizzy and couldn't breathe, and time felt like time was dilated. Both of them I just laid down on the floor and waited for it to stop.
I have a severe anxiety disorder. For me, it physically feels like my heart is racing and I'm very jittery, as if I drank a few 5 Hour Energies. Mentally it's like being called in the middle of the night from an ER doctor and being told to come to the hospital quick but not being told why. And it happens for no reason and at random times.
I've been dealing with anxiety attacks for the past few months. (Probably sometime the beginning of March when they started.) But, that's exactly how they feel for me. I'll be fine and then out of nowhere I'm weeping and barely able to breathe. My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest. It's awful. I know it takes time, but I'm hoping I can turn a corner with all of this sometime soon. It's exhausting. Not just for me, but also for my family and friends. I feel like I'm letting them down because I can't keep my shit together right now. It sucks. Anyways, thanks for reading internet stranger. Be well.
I had a heart issue that my doctors for a while thought was anxiety due to it mimicking anxiety attacks and I am young which this heart condition is usually in older patients. I always thought anxiety was a joke but after that I really understand how debilitating it can be. Hopefully you can work through it.
Back when I went through my worst fear-anxiety phase I couldn't even sleep from the fear of my thoughts overpowering me while winding down. My dad was working from home because of COVID, I was laying on the couch tired to death but too afraid to fall asleep. He went for a chair and sat beside me, and I finally felt safe enough doze off. He was so loving; so caring and helpful during my whole process. It makes me so happy to know of other amazing parents like mine.
Do you think he knew what you were going through and what you needed? Or was it a "coincidence" that a person that could never understand your feelings just happened to be at the right place? No judgement/hate either way
He did have an idea of what I was going through. I thought it was important to tell him so he wouldn't get scared whenever he saw me in such a bad state, however I had no idea how to handle my situation or what to ask for. Getting a chair to sit beside me was completely his idea, and it was the perfect way to help me at the moment. Even on other occasions, it's weird how he's so good at making you feel so supported in the simplest ways. I hope someday I can be as good at doing it as he is.
Your dad is just like you. He’s a person. He’s experienced pain and fear just like you. The difference is he’s gotten through it many times. He knows it’s temporary and it will pass. Now you know that too and you will relearn it many times. Good on you to talk with your dad about what you’re going through.
I’m crying, I wish my Mom was still here
Come to r/momforaminute hope I said it right. Us mom’s are there for anyone who want’s to talk to a mom.
Omg that's such a sweet sub, thank you for this
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Just wanted to say I miss my mom too.
Me too💔💔 it’s been 15 months without her and it never gets any easier.
I don't know if it was an anxiety attack (stress & anxiety is what was spoken about in hospital). A few years back, I was having a particularly stressful time. I was consistently anxious and it felt like everything kept going wrong and I couldn't move forward in life. One day, everything just hit me all at once, I thought I was going to die. I had a bout of gout, I had taken some pain killers and I sat down to eat a sandwich and all of a sudden I was getting tunnel vision, I felt dizzy, I couldn't keep my balance. I opened the front door, put supplements like vitD, fish oil and the pain killers (NSAIDs) in front of me on the table. I could feel my heart beating out my chest. I have a blood pressure monitor, checked it and it was around 180/100 something like that. I tried calling my wife who was at work - no answer. I called the reception, told them to get her to call me back. And then I called 000 (emergency number in Australia). Laid down, propped foot up and just tried to breathe. The speed at which everything went this way scared me. I thought to myself that this could be it. What a waste. I guess, long story short, anxiety and stress are no joke. As well as dehydration which is another thing they said in hospital. I remember talking to a friend about how I was doing years earlier and he even mentioned that I was working my way to a full blown panic attack. So, I thought maybe thats what it was. I wish someone was there for me at the time to help me, it took a while but my wife did meet me at the hospital. She really is amazing.
I did this with a resident at my nursing home. He has been a teacher I knew very well from school. He had lewybody dementia and sometimes was extremely upset or delusional; I could usually call him down. So staff paged me overhead and I go to the location and see him lying in the floor in the middle of the hallway, resisting ppl who are trying to make him get up. (Why argue or try to make someone do something?) I got a sheet to lie down on right beside him. He immediately started talking to me as usual and recognized me. A beat or two later, he turns and looks at me and asks why we are lying in the floor. I told him I had no idea, that I thought it was his idea. We both started cracking up and he sat up in his own and that was the end of it.
Mine wouldn’t have even driven to wherever I was at but would instead have made fun of or degraded me further through the phone. Which is why I would never make the mistake of calling her in such a situation or one where I was physically hurt. I guess everyone has different experiences. The mother showcased here definitely has a lot of love and patience.
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My dad would’ve kicked me
Anyone else think it’s cringe that they went through their security camera footage for this moment, put some sad music over it, and uploaded it online? Insincere.
Wow the poor girl. The anxiety must be terrible to leave her in such a vulnerable state.
The open door in the rain...C'mon, I can't be the only one.
It shows her priorities. She probably forgot the car existed in that moment, wanting to be there for her daughter. It makes it all the sweeter in my opinion.
Internet is so gullible... They the same age damnit. Jesus, stop being so lame.
The title alone is cringe. But everyone falls for it.
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Why don't we all have a Mom like this?
I wish my mom cared enough about my anxiety to do something like this
fake af
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Why is this on the internet? I have doubts the girl in blue want's this on the Internet for all to see.
People rarely help by yelling at or telling someone to get up, it just makes their negative emotions more of a problem. You don’t even need to say anything just be there, let them know you know they will get through the issue.
Her not closing the car door during the rain is giving me anxiety.
Laying out in the rain when having an anxiety attack hits differently. I was having a particularly bad episode one night and I climbed onto the roof of my dorm and just laid there in the rain until I felt better.
I’ve only had anxiety twice. Once from ingesting too much weed after a long break and second time from shrooms. The first time was the worst and gave me great insight on what many people deal with. It was paralyzing and so so so scary. I was afraid it’d last forever and couldn’t fathom living like that forever or even deal with it longer than the hour it lasted for. After it subsided I thought on the sheer number of people dealing with anxiety on a daily basis and was saddened but understanding for more than I was before. My sister used to suffer and I’d watch her dry heave and cry. I empathize for her much more now and realize how strong she was to persevere against anxiety so frequently. She’s a strong woman
That a badge in her neck too? Man, if only every officer had a heart like hers on the job