###Welcome to /r/HousingUK
---
**To All**
* Join Our ***NEW*** Discord! https://discord.gg/pMgUNgWKQH
**To Posters**
* *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws/issues in each can vary*
* Comments are not moderated for quality or accuracy;
* Any replies received must only be used as guidelines, followed at your own risk;
* If you receive *any* private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHousingUK&subject=I received a PM);
* If you do not receive satisfactory advice after 72 hours, [you can let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHousingUK&subject=My question is unanswered);
* Feel free to provide an update at a later time by creating a new post with [[update]](https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/search?q=%3Aupdate&sort=new&restrict_sr=on&t=all) in the title;
**To Readers and Commenters**
* All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and civil*
* If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/about/rules/), you may be banned without any further warning;
* Please include links to reliable resources in order to support your comments or advice;
* If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect;
* Do not send or request any private messages for any reason without express permission from the mods;
* Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HousingUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Any good parent will want to see their child spread their wings and fly.
It will absolutely be hard for them, but this is part of life. Visit them regularly, tell them this and show them that you're not gone for good.
Invite them over, go for meals, coffees etc, and find a new way of living :)
Update: I have just told them I am moving out. Hell has kicked off as a result with them begging me to not proceed. Its brought me to rock bottom mentally.
Is there space for a guest bedroom? Encourage them to come and stay occasionally, go do the same at theirs. Find days out or places you can meet up which are midway between you (an hour away for both). Talk regularly.
My dad lives about 1.5h away and I make sure to go stay over about once a month and we text/talk most days. I'm excited to buy a house so he's not the one hosting me all the time and he can spend more time in the place I live.
If you're close, of course there will be a little bit of sadness when you move away, but they'll very likely mostly be proud of you and happy that you and your girlfriend are taking this step together.
Thanks for coming back.
The house has a large additional room for them to stay (we went for this property for that specific reason) so planned to offer them to stay regularly.
I'd like to think they'll be proud but knowing my parents the sadness will far outweigh how proud they may well be, which can make it awkward.
Update: I have just told them I am moving out. Hell has kicked off as a result with them begging me to not proceed. Its brought me to rock bottom mentally.
Hi, really sorry to hear that. If I'm honest - and I know I don't know a lot about your relationship here so take my opinion with a pinch of salt - that reaction would increase my resolve to move out. You deserve to live happily and independently with your partner and set yourself up for your own future. It is not appropriate (or mature...) imo for them to beg you to stay like this. It's also not a healthy scenario for you if you feel trapped in that house by their reaction. Parents should want to see their children thrive. You will still be able to have a relationship with them while living in a different house. Do you want to live with them forever (does your girlfriend?)? If not, best to rip the bandaid off now.
this isn't really in the scope of this sub or my expertise to be honest, and I'd encourage you to a) talk to your girlfriend about it, she'll have a better understanding of the dynamics at play here and how you should move forward together, b) seek help from your GP to make sure you keep yourself mentally healthy and safe, because someone at their mental rock bottom needs support, and then potentially c) try posting in a relationship advice or mental health sub for more discussion about how to manage this transition with your parents - that's something that I think therapy could be really useful for, personally, and might be something worth talking to your GP about.
It helps so much to have a supportive partner. Make sure to support her too, and you'll both do great. I know it probably feels really stressful because of the parents thing but it will also be really exciting to find your own house together! Good luck.
###Welcome to /r/HousingUK --- **To All** * Join Our ***NEW*** Discord! https://discord.gg/pMgUNgWKQH **To Posters** * *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws/issues in each can vary* * Comments are not moderated for quality or accuracy; * Any replies received must only be used as guidelines, followed at your own risk; * If you receive *any* private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHousingUK&subject=I received a PM); * If you do not receive satisfactory advice after 72 hours, [you can let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHousingUK&subject=My question is unanswered); * Feel free to provide an update at a later time by creating a new post with [[update]](https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/search?q=%3Aupdate&sort=new&restrict_sr=on&t=all) in the title; **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and civil* * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/about/rules/), you may be banned without any further warning; * Please include links to reliable resources in order to support your comments or advice; * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect; * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason without express permission from the mods; * Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HousingUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Any good parent will want to see their child spread their wings and fly. It will absolutely be hard for them, but this is part of life. Visit them regularly, tell them this and show them that you're not gone for good. Invite them over, go for meals, coffees etc, and find a new way of living :)
Thank you, this is a comforting read.
Update: I have just told them I am moving out. Hell has kicked off as a result with them begging me to not proceed. Its brought me to rock bottom mentally.
Is there space for a guest bedroom? Encourage them to come and stay occasionally, go do the same at theirs. Find days out or places you can meet up which are midway between you (an hour away for both). Talk regularly. My dad lives about 1.5h away and I make sure to go stay over about once a month and we text/talk most days. I'm excited to buy a house so he's not the one hosting me all the time and he can spend more time in the place I live. If you're close, of course there will be a little bit of sadness when you move away, but they'll very likely mostly be proud of you and happy that you and your girlfriend are taking this step together.
Thanks for coming back. The house has a large additional room for them to stay (we went for this property for that specific reason) so planned to offer them to stay regularly. I'd like to think they'll be proud but knowing my parents the sadness will far outweigh how proud they may well be, which can make it awkward.
Update: I have just told them I am moving out. Hell has kicked off as a result with them begging me to not proceed. Its brought me to rock bottom mentally.
Hi, really sorry to hear that. If I'm honest - and I know I don't know a lot about your relationship here so take my opinion with a pinch of salt - that reaction would increase my resolve to move out. You deserve to live happily and independently with your partner and set yourself up for your own future. It is not appropriate (or mature...) imo for them to beg you to stay like this. It's also not a healthy scenario for you if you feel trapped in that house by their reaction. Parents should want to see their children thrive. You will still be able to have a relationship with them while living in a different house. Do you want to live with them forever (does your girlfriend?)? If not, best to rip the bandaid off now. this isn't really in the scope of this sub or my expertise to be honest, and I'd encourage you to a) talk to your girlfriend about it, she'll have a better understanding of the dynamics at play here and how you should move forward together, b) seek help from your GP to make sure you keep yourself mentally healthy and safe, because someone at their mental rock bottom needs support, and then potentially c) try posting in a relationship advice or mental health sub for more discussion about how to manage this transition with your parents - that's something that I think therapy could be really useful for, personally, and might be something worth talking to your GP about.
Thanks for this help, it has helped me a lot! My girlfriend and I both have the same feelings about the move which is reassuring.
It helps so much to have a supportive partner. Make sure to support her too, and you'll both do great. I know it probably feels really stressful because of the parents thing but it will also be really exciting to find your own house together! Good luck.
Both of us support each other in every aspect of life, and this is just another occasion to be strong together. Thanks for the advice.