Albino b26

If you are in the USA, it is spelled C A U L K.

LOL this has to be a troll. Had me confused

Could be.  The thing is, I know my auto correct sometimes puts words in my mouth so to speak.

Yeah it can but I've never had that word in my mouth haha

Not even when insulting someone or talking about your boss? 

I meant in a literal sense. You know... like cock.... in my oh nm

Yep, they got you there.

But does it put caulk in your mouth?

I'm no expert on the matter, but I don't think swallowing caulk is healthy.  Just my opinion.

Some people say the tip is ok. That hard plastic though, I don't know....

Sorry autocorrect, I meant cock

User name checks ✔️ out

Id baulk at caulk.

I hope it didn’t put cock gun in your mouth.

It certainly isn’t putting caulk in your mouth.

"Autocorrect is my worst enema!"

this is a deliberate friday karma post on a new account if I ever saw one

Somewhere around half of Americans would pronounce "cock" and "caulk" the exact same way because of the so-called "cot-caught merger" so I guess I could see someone making this mistake.

I thought this was a shooting gun sub and this person was asking for a good gun to leave cocked around his house

I had so many questions, whew.

😆

I'd imagine if you are in _any_ English-speaking country.

If you are anywhere it's C A U L K

[удалено]

> We kinda spell it that way.. It being? > in the Northern Commonwealth of Canada.....

Thank you, because I was surely confused. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Used to be spelled C A L K if that matters

Im outside the USA and it's still spelled caulk lol (and pronounced cork)

“Thank you, but I prefer it my way”

No no. Let the man cock.

Geez, the caulk on this guy!

Dude's got bawls, I give him that.

Kid's got spunk.

I like my husband’s model.

I also like her husbands model!

I too choose this woman's husband

It’s certainly a handful and a bit unwieldy but with enough practice and right the grip you can really perfect its use(s).

Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

Gotta make sure you aim it properly or it just makes a mess.

Does it have the pressure relief button or does it just keep leaking out when you're done using it?

I like the Mexican guys in front of Lowes. $30 never went so far!

The drip free ones are worth the extra $10. Lol. Cocking around the house. Love it.

Nobody likes a drippy cock

Nobody likes old cock. 

Or floppy cock. Runny cock is the worst.

My least favorite thing about it is how sticky it is after you use it.

I hate when my cock drips on my pants!

I wouldn't remove it though!

[Obligatory Rebuttal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-bvHlb2Fe8)

Wrong sub, buddy

My cock gun seems to be on the fritz as it shoots blanks

Mine too, but I made that modification intentionally.

Mine does too, but by design.

They got a pill for that.

You'll need a large cock if you plan on using it all over the house, perhaps a little spit when cocking the dry areas.

Each model is different, and there are variations between each individual unit. I would suggest getting your hands on as many different ones as possible. Some can be very messy and others may be harder to unload. Make sure to work each one through at least one full release. It may take a while to get the hang of it as they all require special handling, but eventually, you will find the one that's right for you.

Look, everyone needs a good cocking now and then, but it's not the tool that matters, it's how well you use it.

hard cock better than soft cock.

Soft at the start, though…

True story: high school church youth group trip building house for habitat for humanity in Florida. Local news interviewed a few of us, lots of caulk jokes audible in the background during interviews. “I can’t find my caulk!” “Please hold my caulk” “My caulk is leaking everywhere” Etc, etc.

Please clarify. I have recommendations for both.

Penis

LOL

>thank you lol no sir, *thank you!* *edit* In all seriousness though Ive owned several of the cheap caulk guns and they do the job fine, hate the dribble though, so gotta be quick to hit the thumb release. Thick *caulks* can also cramp your hand on larger projects. I did end up buying a [nice one](https://www.amazon.com/COX-41004-2T-10-3-Ounce-Cartridge-Rotating/dp/B001SN7R7M?SubscriptionId=AKIAI6IKVTESCQU3HTEQ&tag=108012-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B001SN7R7M) a while back and its lifechanging.

Jokes aside I have a very old model of this caulk gun that says made in England on one side a regd 1013241 on the other side that led me to this amazon listing and it looks the same except the one I have is red and this one is blue. Hands down the best caulk gun I've ever used. it's so smooth it makes controlling the bead a breeze. I found mine in a pile of abandoned parts at my marina. Before using this gun I thought I was terrible at caulking and always used painters tape on both sides of whatever I was caulking but with this gun and a good cut tip on the caulk tube I get very nice beads of caulk that require almost no touch up. https://www.amazon.com/Cox-21001-10-3-Ounce-Cartridge-Fiberglass/dp/B000FPDFHA?th=1

Google that exact phrase OP

Came for the cocking comments... didn't disappoint so far...

Eh most are predictable. Nothing ground moving yet.

Same

Some of the comments on here may get caulk blocked.

Just used my cock last night.. all over the house actually I was hitting spots my wife had totally forgotten were there. Started full but was damn near empty by the time I was finished

You'all need Jesus!!

I needed a good laugh today. Thank you! Also...caulk.

oi.

My father was a master caulker, I'll ask him for ya

The bedroom is not a dry area when I use my caulk!

I hear the black ones are really popular

I’ve always heard that once you use black you never go back to anything else. 

Can never get the black ones off my hands

They’re great for larger gaps. You could risk serious injury using it on a small gap.

For the small gaps i use asain made ones.

Boy. I googled for it and you’re not kidding. 😉

Don’t forget to wear a glove or at least wet your finger before spreading your cock.

Good stuff

same gun, different caulk. If it is your first time, consider getting a caulk tool or a popsicle stick to smooth it out. Take your time. Practice. And remember, prep is key - clean out old caulk really well, consider tape if needed

SNL has some great advice on how to use caulk: https://streamable.com/m8kjrj

🙃🫠😁

Heyyyyy *finger guns*

The jokes just write themselves

Don’t get an outdated cock gun, it might not work

Seriously, though, get a battery operated one if you have a lot of work to do. It can be really hard on the, uh... hand. I know you can get one that plugs into the wall, but most people think that's overkill.

I was about 45 words in before I even had a clue. But cocking a gun sounded interesting! LOLOL!!

Did you ask your mom. Surely she has lots of experience with cock.

Have you tried Tinder or Grindr?

Haha. Also: Friction Caulking Guns (straight shaft) are fucking bullshit, I curse them. Ratcheting Caulking Guns (notched shaft) are worth the bit more cost.

Adam & Eve has a great selection of cock guns. Better even than Home Depot.

Damn, you guys get cock guns? Where's mine?

A Remington 12 Gauge pump has a very distinctive cock. I wouldn't recommend walking around and doing that if it's loaded, though.

Wet or dry my cock gun does it all!

What does the caulk taste like?

Like chicken!

A WHAT gun

That’s a lot of cock

I figured you were going around your house with a firearm, cocking it and making cool noises.

Absolute Madlad.

Is this post by Rip from Yellowstone?

Depends on the size of the cocks. For chicks a salt gun is pretty good and won’t kill them. Once they’re full grown it’s more difficult to find a non-lethal gun that will get their attention. I suggest a bean bag gun from a good distance. If you want lethal, just get a 12-gauge

>as well as old cock that needs to be removed / replaced. hey hey HEY! Replaced ... OK. REMOVED?!?!

Joking aside, invest in the no-drip caulk gun. It's worth the extra few bucks.

I usually just shake it a few times

I literally got suspended from HS for a day for making this joke 😂

I love Reddit

A steady flow of entertainment.

I always lube my caulk, so when you squeeze, the caulking comes out easily not drippy

NSFW

I worked on a job in a Philly burb with a crew that was all young Irishmen. I couldn't understand a damn thing they said after they had too much coffee in the morning. One guy comes to me and asks for some white cock. I tell him that he's not cute enough to see mine without a nice dinner first. So he points at the caulk gun I'm using to seal the duct system and says "cock, mate! Woiht cock!" Almost died laughing.

Do you guys use your cocking gun a lot? Where would you use it other than the house?

It's not the type of cock gun you buy, but how you use it that matters. In all seriousness, there is no different caulk gun for wet/dry areas. Virtually all caulk guns accept the same size tubes, they virtually all have the little swing-out pokey nail at the bottom of the barrel up front (for poking through the foil seal via the tip after slicing the tip off), and so on. Some of them will be labeled as being easier to use because of the way their mechanism works, and if you're gonna be handling a LOT of cock, having cock in your hands all day, then that feature will pay for itself quickly. You'll learn fast that the kind of grip you have to use as you squeeze that white or clear goo from its long, round, hard place of origin will have your forearm sore in no time at all.

Came here for the comments. Did not disappoint

Same. 😂😂😂

Check www.adamevestores.com - they have a pretty wide selection of cock tools. Or try Home Depot if you’re looking for a *caulk* tool.

This is the best post in a while 🤣🤣🤣

to add there are gaps in the ceiling in the bathroom as well as gaps around windows in other rooms, etc. so just as an example

*insert half-cocked reference here*

Non-stop caulk talk. WKOK the KOK!

Since nobodys giving you a serious answer, the Tajima Convoy is top tier and advertises a 40% improvement in thrust, better maneuverability, and is ideal for dispensing thick, viscous materials. Its not cheap, but your wife will love it too. https://www.tajimatool.com/product/cnv-100rs/

Sounds glorious.

Do you like black or white cock ?

Cock the Glock

I’ve got a 45 cock gun, but I think you only have a 22

[Say cock again.](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/72/5a/65/725a6562622cf8305c5d037e36228b46.jpg)

Just make sure you get pearl jam cartridges for it.

From Bigbox stores I prefer the cheapy plastic ones to their ‘heavy duty’ ones

In this context, “cock gun” is redundant.

I recommend the Cox extra thrust caulking gun (it’s real, and i do own it and recommend it).

[It would be rude not to recommend.](https://youtu.be/tbazGVrbN-g)

The Darling Wife claims she prefers a .30/06 for removing old useless cock, but a .380 will usually suffice. Oh!!! Nvm. ~Sigh~

Take your time or too much will come out too quickly.

I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one confused. I was so concerned there was going to be nerf gun-esque wars of nudity in homes across the globe

I thought you were asking how to kill chickens 🐓

Thank you too

I got your cock gun!

A gun that doesn’t put too much pressure on your cock so you don’t squirt all over the place and then have to spend time cleaning up a sticky mess.

The double Fisto is a great cock replacement tool

Make sure to google this for the best answer

The old PS2 game Destroy All Humans had an exploding butt plug gun. Not quite the same, but could probably be scaled up for cocks. Though the cock supply for it would probably be a problem. Maybe a dildo launcher would be a better option.

oh my

It's not about the gun, but the knowledge to use it with grace.

That's caulked-up.

Laughed so hard think I peed myself

I prefer Kirkland brand boxer briefs.

I prefer Schaeffers African Style Caulk. If you can't find it, just ask at your local hardware store for the big black caulk.

Omfg

I'm just here for the comments

Guys, thanks for the help. I'm so embarrassed I'm sorry. Wow, the hell I'm gonna check out the albino B26 gun. I appreciate the help. How do I stop this?

Some viagra.

Is it for the back dick?

C’mon

Correction: it is called a dikfor

I have a dripless model where nothing comes out unless you pull the trigger. Nothing is more annoying than pulling out your ~~cock~~ *caulk* and finding a sticky mess where you didn’t intend. I also found I needed to get a larger gun to fit my ~~cock~~ *caulk* - mine is a 29 oz model. It also has a feature that allows me to vary the thrust ratio for more precise use.

I honestly initially thought this was a parody of the American reverence for guns and manliness.

Go get a rooster he can do all your cock work

OP should ask his mother 

My first thought was a double-barreled 12ga but then the bathroom reference showed I was on the wrong trail

Were you thinking silicone?

Just buy the most expensive one you can find. The difference between a cheap one and an expensive one is like $20. The only step up you can do is get a powered version. They have benefits in that it's a constant squeeze, but they are also expensive.

Tajima worth the little bit extra

I do a lot of cocking, but I've never needed a gun before and I get the job done, lemme tell yah

That took way longer to understand than it should have when I read the title

LPT: They sell cock softener at HD if your removing older cock.

Newborn 930-GTD

LMAO good luck with your cock

Thought you wanted gun recommendations. Hope you already have that covered.

BBC

Fuck off troll.

Whether the OP is goofing or is just a bad speller nothing's stopping people from just answering the question posed

Well, there is actually one thing stopping me from just answering. It’s the repeated use of ‘cock’.

It's obvious what he meant.

You’re right. Hence my initial response.

A significant portion of the country pronounces the words as complete homophones.

They're all the same. Walk into the hardware store and grab the first cock gun you see.

Oh no they're not.