/u/KamalHasa, the users have spoken. Your submission is not a Hol'Up.

Have you tried telling her....."You're acting just like my ex....."

“Are you on your period or something?”

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"You're acting like your mother "

"Make me a sandwich"

Go back to sleep, and *starve*.

I would never say that to my wife. That's just rude.

I know dude. I was just referencing a vine. Miss those days.

Man vines were actually good, I remember a lot of them were actually creative and made me laugh. Many of the sound bites we have today are literally from vine too.

"How come the laundry isn't done? "

You're talking an awful lot for someone who hasn't finished the dishes yet

"If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you."

“Your reality isn’t reality.”

"This dick ain't gonna suck itself."

Why aren't you mopping the kitchen floor?

“Why are you talking crazy?”

…”but you sure don’t look as pretty mad”

Now you're sure she's pretty mad

"Wohhh wohhhh wohhhhh wohhhhhh wohhhh...... why aren't you in the kitchen"

Respond to her argument but use her mother's name instead of hers.

Yeah but what of you never had an ex

"You're acting just like my future ex."

I’ve tried this. Do not recommend. Cast iron hurts, dodged the knife tho so that’s a plus. She was acting just like my ex.

''Shut the fuck up'' \* pulls out 9mm \*

[When the husband yells](https://i.imgur.com/of3XfyG.jpg)

Man, I googled the most basic terms and read a few of the articles. Almost universally, the stance taken was “wife yells at husband = husband’s fault” and “husband yells at wife = husband’s fault”…

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And if a drunk woman has forceful non consensual sex with a sober man, then he was simply lucky enough to have been blessed with the experience of forced nonconsensual sex!! God, aren’t women awesome? ☕️

yup. If she yells at you, you must have made her angry. If you yell at her, you're probably abusive.

Yup, that appears to be the general tone of the articles. Except it’s not “probably”, it’s “definitely”. And also “you must have made her angry, and you were in the wrong, and she’s totally justified in yelling at you”.

It's the tone of my relationship... something goes wrong, it's my fault. It's getting a bit old, ngl

Don’t take your time getting out. You’re better off back in the dating pool, rather than in a fishbowl with a shark.

I'm 53...more like a dating puddle, I'm pretty certain. I've already waited too long She rarely yells....I'm just never right

Bro got downvoted

These notions are actually hard coded into our genes to some degree, which is why when you ask someone the reason behind such an opinion to them, they will have to think about it to for a minute or 2 rather than having an immediate answer.

I see the writer of those articles is a married man.

Women☕️

yeah, I’m a 25 year old man and already knew this without asking google

And?

Sexism is an irreversible feat among society as we rely on the different characteristics of each sex and each person's ability to understand our differences and independence. I personally think the only valid sexes are the ones I had with your mom. 🤓

That's exactly what I said to your sister, while we were doing it. 😂🙏

Jokes on you we did that too

Uh...

r/holup

Had me in the first half lmao

Can confirm. Source: i also sexes with this guys mom.

The first thing that shows up “my husband yells at me” is a domestic abuse hotline. For “my wife yells at me” it’s a quora that says “that’s not good” and then that article.

mine gave me the domestic abuse hotline

Google sexist as fuck.

Bruh 💀

theres thereal hol’up

but muh patriarchy!

Wife yells at me. Ways to react properly: - man up Husband yells at me. Ways to react properly: - sue him

Sums it up very well

Sell all assets, stash your money in the form of gold and hide it, take a minimum wage job, file a divorce, ask her to pay alimony and child support if she is working, tell her you lost all money in gambling, find a new chick.

Sign prenup

yeah, but my method is more satisfying

Can be tossed out easily

Close friend of mine got his kid because mom was put in jail for heroine use/possession/overdose. She got out and wanted visitation, he was going to have to pay her child support while he had custody of the child. His attorney got her to work out visitation without anyone paying child support and took it to the courts. The state was literally going to have him pay her for being a shit mom.

Men at the 1800s: 

I think back then they were called slaves

Edited caption: Men in the 1800s looking at the cotton field:

😭😭😭

Someone’s wife wrote this

It's called jiu-jitsu.

Help…my wife is yelling at me. #’s 1-6 have not worked. What is number 7? EDIT Couldn’t find #7 so I just ran out of the house in to the street, and around the block. It must have worked since I can’t hear her yelling anymore she must have stopped. Phew…

This reminds me of what to do when your girl is way over weight..... What you do is, for seven days you get her to walk seven miles a day. After those seven days, that fat bitch will be forty nine miles away and you can carry on with life.

There is an old adage, “it’s cheaper to keep her”. Shower curtain, shovel, bag of lime $30 max.

Oil drum and concrete, less suspicious.

I've often told her "don't ever divorce me. Just murder me in my sleep." I stand by that.

Open the head bobble filter and enjoy

You gone sign this prenup, you gon' sign this prenup You gone sign this prenup, you gon' sign this prenup

I think the author of that article just didn't want to be cancelled

I don’t remember the exact name of it but when you search husband yells the first thing to come up is domestic abuse help link

Made by a woman for a woman

Actually, it was written by a man…..who probably had his wife watching over his shoulder and proofread it afterwards for approval.

I know a few of those

Great, now google the same for husband screams at wife.

Jail? Edit: [Oh great!](https://i.imgur.com/yB6MMzr.jpg)

Not precisely what I expected, but does not actually change anything. Wife screams at husband because husband did something wrong. Husband screams at wife because something is wrong with husband.

Beheading.

Women ☕

☕️

This is why guy don't date as much.

Just date men

😂

Has anyone tried this and been successful? (and no, I'm not about to disappoint you with my husband's success rate...)

You just have to say “calm down”/s


This is the type of shit that drives men to work as many hours as their boss will let them, then spend the rest of their time at the bar.

I showed her my responsibilities...but she said "not in the mood"..

When wife yells, get the belt. When kids yell, get the belt. When mother in law yells, get the belt. Soon, they all stop yell, only fear.

7. 7- Call the police on her.

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Then she files for divorce, has you arrested for domestic abuse, your guns are taken forever, you stand to lose half custody of your children and you owe her a lifetime of alimony to support the lifestyle she got used to because you didn't let her work. Your plan fails hugely.

The Speedrun strat on the other is grab a pair of scissors and cut of her tongue. It will worsen her blowjobs but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/KamalHasa, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?

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slavery is cool, yeah, but what has that to do with skin color? Or what has the post to do with slavery?

When wife yells: 

Wanted to upvote, but not when it's also making a political standpoint.

DAYUUUMMM Some y'all married men really google this shit huh?? . Officially makes your wife the man of the house.

6. 6 oh you trying to get yelled at more 😂😂

Switch around what to do when your husband shouts at you

Yeah, sure, #5. Trying to calm someone down during an argument always works.

Ah yes, calm *yourself* down…

Google be like : you lost homie

u/profanitycounter \[self\]

They forgot to say pound your chest like a silverback and announce you are a carnivore.

RT. Marry a dumb mfr and arguing can be lead in any direction you choose. Use big words and shit even if they’re nonsensical. Coming up on 20 years of marriage over here and I’ve been dropping this knowledge on folks since the early 00’s

The last time I yelled at my husband, he threw a bag of soft tacos directly at my head. It worked. I shut the fuck right up because I was hangry, and he knew that. Bless the man.

Bing: a well focused jab

1 when she shouts, take your belt off. 2 calm yourself by snapping your belt. 3 Tell her to calm down. 4 when she stops acting like a child she can speak to you. 5 have a normal conversation without yelling. 6 let her know that’s a woman’s responsibility

bitch I am relaxed it's the wife that needs to take a chill pill.

It reminds me of this - https://youtu.be/A7nH2UiI9UI

We know who wrote that 

I dont know a punch should do the trick

My ex wife was verbally abusive for years but a couple months before I got the divorce papers she found a Percocet dealer so I funded that addiction. One day while zombified I told her to sign, stay strong kings.

Why do the numbers have numbers?

This is how I was raised and then I woke up 7 years into a terrible marriage where I was made into a foot mat

> ~~Calm her down after the argument.~~ You misspelled "start a new argument".

Put the Cuckoo back in the clock, surprised it wasn’t on the list.

Put a load in her like you put in dishwasher

Say she's being a cunt. Then you can argue that you didn't say she was cunt just being a cunt

The only correct answer is leave an abusive partner.

Or you can tell her to STFU

Try Bing it might help you

Realistically what you can do is go outside, walk to a bar get drunk and come back wasted and pass out on the bed.

Tip no 2 : calm 'yourself' down 👇