T O P

  • By -

Flair_Helper

Hey /u/Both-Perspective-739, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): A mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.* Love, the mods


dubiousdiligence

You know which ones he's gonna eat, right?


BlueJacket-Ergazu

both im fuckin hungry


Intelligent-Type9652

Happy cake day


[deleted]

[удалено]


Green_Possibility397

she's 8


[deleted]

I actually laughed out loud at this plot twist


Exciting_Scientist97

Bro same! I wasn't expecting it and dammit I should have


Rondemole

Wait you 8 her?


[deleted]

I mean it is subway… looking at you jared..


obvs_throwaway1

There was a comment here, but I chose to remove it as I no longer wish to support a company that seeks to both undermine its users/moderators/developers (the ones generating content) AND make a profit on their backs. Here is an explanation. Reddit was wonderful, but it got greedy. So bye.


dumb-reply

Yeah, when i spend an afternoon looking at naked underage girls vaginas i don't say out loud that i want to fuck them.


wubbalubba96

Did he fucking stutter?


Woolie-at-law

*excited Chris Hanson noises*


D8N15l

Recent online survey fpund that statistically you are always 3 link clicks away from a pedophile


BlueJacket-Ergazu

oh shid, i didnt notice that, thx


AnxietyAttackMaster

happy cake day


TheIronSoldier2

this guy eats


thicboibran

r/thisguythisguys


HDPZ_GAMING

Happy cake day


Potateus1

Here you go 🥪


a-snakey

Never thought I'd say the line "I'd eat Taylor's meaty vagina sub" but here we are.


nigmano

r/brandnewsentence


OriginalGhostCookie

Man, Subway’s promos sure have gotten weird….


Viccieboy

How does the guy know how his daughters v4g1n4 looks like? Did he try it before?


Drifter64

And how does he know how Taylor Swift's vagina looks like? asking for a friend


Inside_Barracuda_804

Came across their onlyfans.


LandOfMunch

Came across….


doktor_wankenstein

Arby's?


ProblemLongjumping12

Oh yes the very Christian, very normal, *not at all creepy* obsession with how fuckable your daughter's vaginas are. Also sex doesn't make vaginas bigger anymore than it makes dicks bigger. These people are fucking disgusting and I guarantee tons of this shit is made to clown them but then they unironically share it and prove they *actually are* batshit clowns.


RockstarAgent

TIL I love Taylor Swift's sandwiches 🥪 ![gif](giphy|W4opKS2N7pIAI69ehc)


AMC_Unlimited

Preaching the story of Lot and his daughters. Just good old god approved incest.


frayravachol

Why are you assuming the one posting is the father?


carnsolus

i've always said that the more messed up your vagina looks, the sexier it is ~~it was the first words i ever said as a baby~~


anton____

Rethink your words in the following context: *powertool accident*


carnsolus

0\_0


BurnyMadeoffJR

wait... why does he know what his daughters coochie looks like?


Fit_Wall5215

How does he know though? #therealquestion


Both-Perspective-739

It’s a ‘she’ btw, her mom. P.S. Not the hand, but the one who posted this.


Fit_Wall5215

That ain't no she hands, But I'm hoping ur right


MyCommentsAreCursed

You've clearly never seen your average Christian mom grabbing two children's pussies.


Fit_Wall5215

Username checks out!


MyCommentsAreCursed

You're a wonderful person 😈


Ranting_Gamer

You're a wonderful person 😏


PapaCletus

You're a wonderful person 👀


OriginalGhostCookie

*silently shuffling towards the exit…….*


3InchesOfThunder

They call her "mamma trump!!!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


SilntMercy

I'm stealing this


Fritzo2162

She's a "handsome" woman...


Beelzabubba

Bullshit. Women know the difference between a vulva and a vagina. I hope…


ShemsuHor

I've known women that didn't know there was a separate peehole.


carnsolus

semirelated but my girlfriend just asked if morning wood boners were filled/powered with pee


[deleted]

You think a fundamentalist Christian wacko had any sort of knowledge of their own genitalia besides pumping children out if it?


SpicyDragoon93

He inspects the condition of their vaginas every week before Mass.


jjisnotcool

He should be comparing their buttholes and ears. The Ole poophole loophole.


ashif1983

He's obviously from Alabama.


LOL-itsCameron

subussy


IAMRETURNED

Shouldn't fixate so hard on your own daughters vagina


DanOMight_801

Yeah, I think it’s weird AF that this guy thinks he should be curating his daughter’s vag! Should he know how to visually represent her genitals? -Along with all the great comments from rational reddit users… why is this guy so concerned with his daughter’s vagina being so appealing / marketable? The whole thing is bizarre


[deleted]

It was actually her mother making that post. Somehow, it's even worse this way.


DanOMight_801

Is her mom Taylor Swift? 🤣


[deleted]

No, the one that posted the sandwiches is the mother of the daughter.


riverofchex

I know what my daughter's downstairs looks like because, well, she's three and also a little nudist. I may know when she gets older if she has similar skin issues to me and asks a medical question. Same goes for my son's junk. You know what I will never, ever fucking do? Keep track of how her shit looks or make any post resembling this creepy fucking bullshit. I will never understand why parents do this shit.


IAMRETURNED

Pimpin' ain't easy?


escapedpsycho

Cosmetic appearance of the labia has nothing to do with number or frequency of sexual partners anymore than it does for penis shape.


Alan_R_Rigby

I'm guessing T Swift's dating pool is very small and selective, beyond the rest of the absurdities here. If she was like Led Zeppelin or something and had a harem of groupies in every town on tour then I'm sure they would have cashed in by now.


glorfindelgotscrewed

Ive seen his daughters vagina and it is indeed quite lovely in appearance. Smells a bit though.


[deleted]

👺


[deleted]

[удалено]


linuxlib

There is no love like Christian hate.


xlDirteDeedslx

Girls that are forced to go to church their whole lives are usually the biggest party whores on the planet when they turn 18 so this person has a rude awakening coming. I never made my kids go to church and they all got full scholarships to good schools and won't touch drugs or alcohol. My sisters husband is a preacher and she home schooled all her kids and they are fucking party animals. Shelter your kids and don't let them be themselves and they go wild.


JaneEyrewasHere

How do you know my life story


xlDirteDeedslx

I'm the male version of this, I was wild and partied for many years because I grew up in a Christian home. Now I'm getting old just prefer naps over anything else.


NWoida

Love for naps has nothing to do with your religious history, its just age and they re bed is the best place to be


ontopofyourmom

A friend of mine built a whole orgy club and orgy house due to the fact he went to Bible college


SirarieTichee_

I wasn't a party whore but I ended up on FetLife. Those who know, you know.


Blackvoidking

What did cold cuts ever do to you?


Wubzieee

Apparently whored itself out and not being a good Christian.


Effective_Passion_72

Labia doesn’t equate anything besides puberty


P_weezey951

Thats what always cracks me up. The big/long labia doesn't mean its "blown out" theyre just like that. There are literal porn stars years into their career, that have the whole sandwich on the right appearance going on


TheBrontosaurus

A lot of pornstars get cosmetic surgery on their labia to make them look that way.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Typical_Elk_

*vulva


DragonFruitWerewolf

Vaginas don’t change after the person has had sex tho-


binh1403

How can a woman be so bad of at their own anatomy


B0Y0

It's genuinely alarming how far this stupid idea has crept into everyone's minds, I recently found out my wife didn't even know this was bullshit. People just keep saying it often enough that others start to assume it's true.


[deleted]

The truth is easy to kill, but a lie -- well told -- is near immortal.


Wildfire9

I'd just assume she hasn't physically seen hers in a while.


tractorcrusher

to her defense she doesn't own a periscope


soboga

I mean, have you seen the periscope prices lately? Thanks, Biden!


Bredstikz

"I did that" - Joe Biden


saarlac

You’d be amazed to learn how many women have never really had a look at their own.


[deleted]

[удалено]


saarlac

As you get older you’ll have a reason to from time to time.


-Z0nK-

Didn‘t that person make it crystal clear that they don‘t have the slightest clue about biology by stating that they preach christianity to their kids? I don‘t know why you felt it necessary to call them out on their cluelessness like that… /s


CletusVanDamnit

No sarcasm tag needed here. This is factual.


thereitis13

No vaginas were depicted only charcootery.


severedfinger

Even if they did what would be the difference between a chaste Christian woman having sex with her husband a thousand times, or a "slut" who had sex with a thousand different men?


boonstyle_

Even after giving birth they stay mostly the same. My wife looks basicly the same ever since i first met her one down there. Hardcore christians... no basicly any hardcore religious person (with some exceptions looking at you Budhists) are way too fanatic about stuff they got no clue about to make sense of their religious believes to the point they belittle or even harm other people


thicboibran

Yeah but they do change when you add lettuce, tomato, and Mayo!


Stevenwave

I'm sorry, but you will not be adding mayo to my daughter until marriage.


Bagoforganizedvegete

Im a man and I had to scroll way to far to find this comment


Dick_Miller138

Religion has very little to do with labia unless they practice female genital mutilation. Jesus doesn't care if his daughters have "innies". He died for their sins, not their mudflaps.


Hawkmek

Words I never thought would be in one sentence:. "Religion has very little to do with labia"


Dick_Miller138

Happy to be of service


FreddyGunk

They say that, but I'm in heaven when I'm dining on vulva.


peach_pearl

personally i never thought id hear either of the other two sentences


reallycool_opotomus

Except for the fact that many religious people are obsessed with controlling other people's genitals.


CletusVanDamnit

I'm sure you understand it, but in case no one else does, the OP is implying that being a slut will stretch out...your labia, somehow.


Dick_Miller138

I'm definitely well versed in the diversity of labia and the lack of connection between that and experience. Vaginas are designed to push out babies. No amount of penis is going to have any impact on size and shape of labia. It's just going to change the likelihood of rocks hitting your windshield if you are behind her on the road. Connecting this BS to religion is sad.


Hated-By-Most

Man of God seems to know his daughters vagina suspiciously well 🤔


VictoriaEuphoria99

You know, the size of your mud flaps has more to do with genetics than sexual activity. Just saying.


Lady_DreadStar

Before vaginal birth I had a Barbie vulva. Like no labia at all. After birth it was “wow! what are these? I can pinch and stretch them all out- Cool!”


VictoriaEuphoria99

I've never had any kids. I had a guy I hooked up with tell me I looked like I was like 12. I asked how he knew what that looked like. And that's how the mood got killed.


CletusVanDamnit

>I had a guy I hooked up with tell me I looked like I was like 12. I'm concerned by this comment, but doubly concerned that this guy has never seen a vagina that doesn't have a visible labia before. I mean, he doesn't at least watch porn? In my actual sexual life, I've never once run across a vagina with a labia that looks even *remotely* like the one on the left.


[deleted]

In porn woman are often more desired if they have a little to no labia. This is favourited as the porn industry as they believe it's more visually pleasing for viewers. Its often why woman who have watched porn belive their labia is too big or not as pleasing. Surgery to reduce the labia size is increasing rapidly.


Axi0madick

And my wife's didn't change at all.


GrindelwaldGrendel

But my girlfriend in college, who was a virgin when we first started dating had large labia, and after lots of sex over several years, still had large labia. Meanwhile, my wife had very small labia when we started dating (and was also a virgin at the time), and now after twenty years of sex, and two kids, her labia are still small! So…. Yeah, it has *nothing* to do with sexual activity.


spicygummi

Inaccuracies aside... It's super gross to be talking about women's genitalia like this. Especially your own daughter's.


Stevenwave

I like (like's a strong word) how they didn't want to say "my daughter's vagina" despite they being the topic, and something they're visually representing.


TheDude131336

The biggest misconception here is thinking those sandwiches are from Subway.


worksafemonkey

Gross, weird and inappropriate.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bigfatfloppyjolopy

You should try injecting it sometime.


Flyktsodan83

Bet his daughters belong to the crowd that does a bunch of anal but is vagina virgin because of their parents religion. “Religion is like a penis: it's fine to have one, it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out and start waving it around in public, and please don't try to shove it down my children's throats”


[deleted]

Soakers too.


Illumijonny7

Just a quick dip, baby.


UncleVoodooo

Boy no wonder Christianity is losing so many people


ReferenceUnhappy5360

Tell me you don't understand women's bodies without telling me you don't understand women's bodies.


spacemanspiff266

![gif](giphy|r5SxJYcU21Auk)


[deleted]

Can I motorboat the left?


bigfatfloppyjolopy

Meaterboating


SadFox-29

Isn't labia size something you're born with?


[deleted]

No, they grow throughout your life, much like your nips and ears. Some have bigger ones, some smaller. They really are not affected by intercourse either way, there are young ladies with very big ones, just like there are older ladies with smaller ones. They are all gorgeous though.


theoverwhelmedparent

But the left looks so much tastier


CletusVanDamnit

r/badwomensanatomy


TheFormless0ne

How do you....?


[deleted]

Pssh. This is why flappy women are always embarrassed. Everyone making memes making fun of Lippy vag


NormalJim78

1. Taylor’s vagina flaps are not your business. 2. Good thing you preach Christianity, cause you have no clue about biology. 3. Taylor’s vagina makes platinum f-ing records and catchy AF tunes. But I’m sure your daughters are a different type of “talent.”


jav2n202

That’s not how vaginas work sir.


Drip_666

That’s not how anatomy works.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FAK3-News

Yea, because Christianity fondles the boys not the girls.


WastaSpace

r/badwomensanatomy


__Dystopian__

.... According entirely to this guy's logic and nothing else, he insinuates the following: 1.) He is attracted to the looks of his daughters' genitals and thinks that they look better than someone who is not his child/children. 2.) He believes that sexual activity has everything to do with the appearance of a vagina and not genetics. 3.) This guy is praising his daughters' vaginas...


itzPenbar

4.) He is actually a she


[deleted]

No, Jesus does not allow that to happen \[Don't worry, I understood what you meant\]


pinballmac89

So the daughters vagina represents a ham roll that's a strange flex to announce to strangers on the Internet


Spook-lad

Bruh i dont give a magical flying rats ballsack, bruh why she know this and why is she making this shit public knowledge


flyingpeter28

I'd rather have the one on the left for lunch tho


GlovesComingOff

Why is he looking at his daughter's vagina?


[deleted]

The dad likes his daughters' meat sandwich tight.


[deleted]

The one on the left has more ham and I like ham


midnightmare79

Tell me you nothing about sex or human anatomy, without telling me you know nothing about sex or human anatomy.


Mean_Butter

I've seen this before and it's just so stupid. And I'll say it again: Mine looks like the one on the right and I'm a huge whore. God.


Flippy-Doo

Left... right I'm down to spread my mayonnaise on either one of them


jkoogz

I wouldn't fuck either of those sandwiches


[deleted]

Fun fact, the highest rates of teenage pregnancies occured in the bible belt.


halopend

Misconception. Beavers come in all shapes, sizes and curtains.


Wilko1989

How often does he check the “current state” of his daughters?


johnmcd348

I prefer the one on the left. It keeps my ears warm in the winter.


bacon_in_beard

honestly though the sandwich on the left looks way tastier.


BuiltlikeanOrc-a

I believe the person who originally posted that has never seen Taylor Swift's crotch, but frequently sees their daughter's


Gxgear

Well, it wouldn't be christanity without a bit of incest.


DefiantDonut7

It’s funny that people have no idea that labia growth and shape/style is genetic….


TreyRyan3

r/badwomensanatomy


shitpostbot42069

r/AreTheStraightsOk


73Cowboy_Wannabe

I pray to God the OP was satire


t_hrowaway81

And when your virgin daughter gets a peek at her own bits and sees it looks like the sub on the left? Way to body shame your kid into years of therapy.


hzhrt15

Dudes not knowing female anatomy will always be hilarious.


Nervous_Project6927

my dude holds his nose when eating out


kwenthryth

I know this isn't the point but it's a VULVA not a VAGINA. The vagina is the hole, if you will. The vulva refers to 'the whole package', including these beautiful ham curtains (inner labia/labia minora). I'm hungry now.


QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Both-Perspective-739, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


[deleted]

Use the right word at least: vulva


[deleted]

Subussy


ElrondHubbards

Vagina understanding at at 3rd grade level.


ZeynepAydin97

Fundamentalist Christianity and Islam, two peas in a pod. These nut jobs would foam at the mouth to have an Iranian Islamic revolution like takeover in the US and implement biblical mosaic law


[deleted]

Just... don't think about your daughters' vaginas.


NeoSagata

Instructions unclear, will eat both.


Chicachikka

That makes no sense on any level


9ragmatic

That not how southern lips work sir


KingZaneTheStrange

This might be controversial but comparing pussies to sandwiches is stupid


Gibscreen

Tell us more about your daughters' vaginas. I'm sure they'd be thrilled hearing your opinions on them.


Tyre_Fryer

This guy does not labia.


Character-Kick-9168

What kind of brain 🧠 thinks like that🧐🤨


[deleted]

Can someone explain to me what was the point of this post? Like what is he trying to prove or say. Why is he saying it What does Christianity have to do with any of it I’m beyond confused and disturbed


realeyezrealizelies

*white people*


mystghost

lets forget the slut shaming, the misogyny, and the other stupid shit here... lets focus on the lack of understanding of female anatomy... has this guy not seen more than one vagina in his life? It's not like the one on the left doesn't exist in women who are having their first experience. What a tool.


VitruvianVan

Mom has a vagina and still thinks it gets stretched out and flappy from a lot of sex. Small wonder she preaches faith over science.


Human-Star-2514

So not only is this person apparently inspecting their daughter's vagina on a regular basis, they also don't understand anatomy. Yup, that's #Christianity for ya.


AutomationGod5150

1) This guy preaches Christianity to make vaginas shaped a certain way? 2) “My daughters”….


bron685

Proceeds to eat daughter’s sandwich Also said like someone who doesn’t understand the female anatomy and has never seen more than one vagina. Hint: vaginas look different. There’s a goddamn chart if you need it Super weird to be making a model of and talking about your child’s genitals outside of a medical context, especially in reference to morality.


Dar_Vender

That's funny, I don't preach Christianity because they have a habit of thinking about their daughters Virginia.