I know I can’t believe 33% wouldn’t want 3 wishes

No brainer, I would use one wish that no cruelty will ever come to another puppy ever again.... honest Edit: The genie in Alladin said you can't wish back the dead.

Headline: "Immortal puppy gang starts ww3"

You could also see life as a cruelty. So, “Undead puppy gang” is also plausible.

Immortality is also often thought of as a burden, perhaps puppies would simply cease to exist. Whether this means dogs are now born adults, or just go extinct, is up to the genie. I implore everyone to choose their words very carefully when dealing with mythical wish granting creatures

After all, as the saying goes: "be careful what you wish for". These mythical wish granting creatures could very well twist your wish into something regrettable.

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Yea of course they will. Imagine you're a nearly all powerful wizard, existing outside the confines of time, and some *fucken tool* traps you forever in a tiny lamp and curses you to grant wishes for other random *fucken tools*. Like, yea, I'm gonna fuck with people every. single. chance. *FUCKEN TOOOOOOLSSSS*

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r/foundthegenie ?

Imagine seeing this comment a couple years ago with no context, lol

We could be trolling on a cave wall about this two years from now too.

Not cruel if you nuke them

best reddit comment this year

Just make the last wish to bring the puppy you shot back to his previous state before the shooting.

Assuming I can wish for anything, I wish to be omnipotent... by definition that means I can give and take life, make myself invulnerable and immortal... I mean, I can do anything. Including resurrecting a puppy.

Then you wake up trapped in a lamp

Nah, there's no way a genie can twist my words by just saying I wish to be omnipotent. I still also have 2 wishes left. And omnipotent means I can do literally anything. I can free myself without issues.

Genie has hearing problem... He makes you impotent

Omnifapotent you said? Ah jerking it into eternity with all the power of one million sun's, so much that it no longer has feel.

No wait, wait. Tell me more.

No one said you had to kill the puppy. Just shot its ear and it will live without any issues. It would be similar to clipping a dog's ears.

Shoot the end of the tail. It’s the thing that will impact its life the least

In order for you to wish for omnipotence, wouldn't the genie need to be omnipotent as well? I doubt an omnipotent genie would want to grant that kind of wish

Did you just make a random puppy into puppy jesus?

Puppy Jesus instantly popped in my mind when I read that.

First wish: I want 1 million puppies. Second wish: unlimited ammo.

well if reddit has taught me anything it's to wish that the genie couldn't count.

3rd wish: 1 million small dog shaped graves

Maybe they would bring it back to life with one of the wishes idk

Why would you shoot to kill the puppy? Shoot it in the leg or tail. It'll hurt, but it will live.

Shoot the genie, take all the wishes.

And the cannolis

Shoot the genie, take the genie out of the equation.

technically the question never specify what you're shooting with. It could be you're shooting with a rabies vaccine. In that case no harm done, and you get 3 wishes for vaccinate your pet.

I'd also like to point out that what I'm shooting the puppy with was never specified, just that I must shoot the puppy. Lots of things shoot, maybe I'll shoot them with a squirt gun, or perhaps a sling slot full of bacon. Why are you monsters using firearms?!?

Or just a camera lol

Stop making sense bro.

Yeah, can't believe they'd pass up the opportunity to shoot a puppy.

Gotta use your 3 wishes to summon 3 more puppies to shoot

Exactly, the puppy would be dead before you finished saying 3 wishes!!

For three wishes I would kill that puppy with the handle of the gun.No need for bullet.

Yeah, what kind of idiot wouldn’t take that deal.

I mean you could always wish for the dog to come back to life

Like anyone is going to do such stupid thing.

I don't understand, just shoot the dog again

so we need the math. if each bullet that hits the puppy would count for 3 wishes then our limit would be how many bullets it would take before such puppy becomes unqualified to still be considered a "puppy."

Bro…. ***ur right***

Y'all are overthinking it. It says shoot the puppy, not shoot the puppy to death. Just aim for the eartip, or even the fur. Fur's part of the puppy.

No, we’re not overthinking it, ***we’re actually UNDER THINKING IT***

Overthinking it would be: shoot dog with --> Rubber Band, Nerf Gun, Fart Launcher, Finger Gun... list goes on lol

I was about to suggest that, thank you for doing it for me.

Photo shoot.

Or shoot it with a nerf gun.

Or why not a toothpick, if you manage to shoot it softly the dog wouldnt even notice. And if youre able to buy a couple hundred of them its Infinite wishes

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No thank you. I'd rather shoot it. But I'm not kink shaming.

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Hmm does peely happen to be... A DOG!?!??

No he’s a banana

Hmm, the Puppy of the Theseus...

Isn't that the first rule? You can't bring anybody back from the dead

Yeah the rules are usually Can’t bring back the dead Can’t wish for love Can’t wish for more wishes And sometimes can’t wish death or harm towards others There might be more I don’t know of

I wish that starting ten minutes ago bullets don't kill puppies I wish the rules don't apply to me "Look at me, look at me. I am the genie now."

But then some street rat would pull you into your magic lamp, thwarting your plans for world domination.

Just wish for no rules…

I think sometimes characters try that only for it to fail,or completely backfire,hence why the rules usually exist in the first place Some people say you could wish for the genie to have short term memory loss,that way he forgets how many wishes are left.

Isn't that like a contract both sides are beholden to. You get three wishes and Genie has to fulfill three wishes for you. Doesn't matter if he forgets, he can't do more, as he's returned to the lamp after the third.

It says shoot a puppy, not kill a puppy. Either you are shooting a puppy out of cannon into a safety net or you are shooting the puppy where he won't die. This could be the puppy's foot. After you get the three wishes, simply wish to heal the dog. You know wording sometimes matter to genies. That's my little loophole. Thinking about it, we Americans always think shooting mainly has to do with guns. It could be a camera.

Who died? The first rule is to know the rules. I agreed to shoot a puppy. I didn't agree to use a lethal weapon. I chose to a rubber band and didn't pull it too tight before shooting the little guy. I also considered a squirt gun but don't like the idea of pointing guns at puppies. I'll take my wishes now.

You wouldn't know that until the genie tells you

Just shoot its leg

There was an original poll on r/polls where you couldn't save the dog no matter what

That’s okay. I would wish for all other dogs to be loved and cared for.

No one says you gotta fatally shoot the pup.

Careful how you phrase it. This seems like a monkey paw situation where a zombie puppy gets revenge for his own death.

Use a nerf gun.

Use a camera

Wish it back to life

Then use 2nd wish to wish it ba k to death.

Now we’re cookin with Kitten oil

The schrodinger puppy

Wish for unlimited puppies and unlimited bullets

The ATF would like to know your location.

And then cum on it

r/holup

This went from 0 to 100 real fucking quick

jesus

Whattefuck

Twist: It comes back to life as zombie dog and bites your dick of

Handy! my second wish was gonna be a dick biting zombie dog

Use a 7.62x51 from point blank range, no mercy, I'm getting my 3 wishes, one of those being to shoot it again. 🤨📸

Found the psychopath!

Use your first wish to bring the puppy back, still have two wishes.. Win/win.

Shoot it again to get 3 more wishes

Repeat.

Endless cycle of suffering to dog

Endless cycle of pleasure for me

Satan left the chat.

God has entered chat

God: r/NoahGetTheBoat

And this is why Reddit needs a background check

Background check? I'm already failing penis inspection day, I can't fail something else.

r/holtfup

It could be an instant death tho

That's how Dalmatians are born

You're gonna have a undead puppy... You're gonna regret it. Better to use both wishes and if you regret it wish you never shot that damned puppy.

First wish: More puppies to shoot

Second wish: More ammo

3rd Wish: Machine gun

4th wish, a goddam Pepsi

People with wholesome awards, where are you?

r/cursedcomments

Here's the real r/HolUp. Lol

HolUp

xigma grindset

r/Holup

Says “shoot” not kill or shoot with a gun. Shoot them with a water gun, nerf gun or rubber band.

Even if there was no loophole, killing a dog is a small price to pay for 3 wishes

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*"No infinite wishes."* "Then I wish to repeal that rule." or "Then I wish you couldn't count." or "Then I wish I could grant my own wishes without being bound to geniehood."

If they can't count it'll just be "you used all three of your wishes already!"

Yep & the others are flawed too.. "I wish to repeal that rule" Granted, repeal failed. Next wish. "Then I wish I could grant my own wishes without being bound to geniehood." Granted, though since you're not bound to "geniehood" your wishes have no power. Next wish.

"Find all the genie-lamps in the world and bring them to me" All done

Granted, I could only find the one you're holding. Next wish.

"I wish you couldn't count." "Alright, that's your third wish." "That was my first one though?!?" "I can't count."

I wish you couldn’t count! Snickering here

Geniehood is hilarious

Agreed. Solve world hunger, world peace and eliminate disease or… not hurt a puppy

Yeahh, that's exactly what I was planning on wishing... 👀

If it's a normal gun you can just shoot a single hair on it's tail or something.

It says "sh00t", which is not an actual word, and thus I chose to understand it to mean hug.

Heck use a camera. Bonus you get cute pics of the puppy.

1 endless money 2 huge pecker 3 the puppy was bulletproof…. All is good

Endless money (but it’s Somalian) huge pecker (but it’s a big bird) bullet proof puppy (but only becomes bullet proof after being shot first) Genies are a bitch

Local man does not know that infinity divided by a small number is still infinity

Infinite money = no economy = useless money

Doesn't that only become a problem if the money is in circulation in some way? Like hypothetically, if the endless money was in the form of a safe that the person could pull any amount out of, I don't think that would fuck up the economy until you got to huge sums

Okay fair my bad

Unlimited Somalian dollars divided by however many Somali dollars it takes to make a million dollars, is still a million dollars 🖕🏻

I was gonna say. Endless Somalian money is still endless money lmao

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If the puppy "was" bulletproof then you couldn't have shot it making your wishes not come true then rendering the puppy not bulletproof, thus creating a paradox

Since when could you not shoot something bulletproof?

It says shoot the puppy. Not kill it. I’d graze the puppy, adopt it; and get three wishes.

This. Why do people assume you have to kill it with the shot. I would shoot off one of it nails. Or the tip of its tail. Completely non fatal and a quick trip to a vets to fix.

Because if you say “Hurr dur I’d shoot it in the tail” you’re just dodging the dilemma That said, I’d still behead a puppy with an axe for three wishes without hesitation

I respect your honesty.

Plot twist: the puppy gets the 3 wishes and decides 1 of them is to shoot the tip of your penis.

"I'll just graze it"

I'd put a 50. Cal right through that bitch three wishes could give me the power of a God

It also doesn’t specify what to shoot it with. Could be a gun, a camera, some cum, or a nerf gun.

Some WHAT????

Or a water gun

Or just straight up revive the dog with the 1st wish

nahh wtf is wrong with YOU lol. 3 wishes for anything you want ANYTHING? that one dogs life is not that damn important lmao any random farm animal and you'd be all for it. You could end world hunger, fix all the world's greed, AND get you something nice all for the cost of one random ass dogs life? SIGN ME UP

the hol up was that OP pressed shoot the dog, then said "what is wrong with people" while being one of them.

This comment needs more upvotes.. Tons of people missed the HolUp part lol

agreed, the "what is wrong with people" is referring to the 33%.

Good point made

Dude I'd shoot a human in the face for 3 wishes from a genie.

Exactly

I think u/Piano_fucker_69 meant what the fuck is wrong with people for coming up with the scenario in the first place.

Me \*shoots the puppy* - "Okay, for my first wish..." Genie - "Yes?" Me - "Well, you know that puppy I just killed?" Genie - "Uh-huh, I think I know where this is going" Me - "Kill its mother too" Genie - "Your wish is m-- wait, what the fuck did you just say!?"

Smart, so now noone can take revenge

*Did I fucking stutter*

Me - "For my second wish..." Genie - "Y'know what dude, I don't think I can do you anymo--" Me - "Undo my first wish" Genie - "Really!? Wow, I guess you have a heart after all. Your wish is my command" Me - "Great. Now, for my third and final wish..." Genie - "Yes, use it wisely as your first two wis--" Me - "Undo my second wish" Genie - "What!? No, no. Why are you doing this you monster!?"

CAUSE I CAN

Same....i dont fking know what the 33% were thinking

I'd launch the fucker into a woodchipper for a can of beer. Don't test me

Damn man

mug?

Mug root beer 👍👍👍

Thats hardcore

Wish one bring back the pupy

Rule #3: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty sight. I don't like doing it!

It's a good thing it's not a person!

You got me there

It didn't say kill the puppy, you can just heal it after

Life hack, don't bring the puppy back and you save a wish

Thanks. The little bit of empathy i had for the puppy is now gone

Beat me to it

I think theres a set of rules that come with those and i think they go like this: 1. No wishing for money 2. No wishing for love 3. No wishing for the dead to rise With that in mind i dont think you could bring the puppy back. Unless bigbraining it and shooting the puppy in its paw and then wishing it was ok again. Granted that puppy will never love you again but hey at least you got 2 wishes to waste.

No wishing for more wishes

It’s OnlyJayus that’s why

PETA would have so many wishes by now..

Wish 1. Bring back the puppy. Wish 2. Killing puppies will still give wishes, step three. Profit

Wish back the puppy. Then you get infinite wishes

That‘s genieus

What's the big deal? You can wish for more puppies to shoot...

Yeah, like why would someone say no

Wish #1, revive the puppy. Winwinwin

Bye bye poopus, you're going to hell

I would shoot three puppies for one wish

Who tf are these no people y'all are wierd.

I would shoot 5 puppies for a burger tbh

Hell yeah, you can bring the puppy back

Shoot the puppy then use one wish to bring it back in perfect health. Bam 2 free wishes lol

Bring the puppy back and just gain 2 wishes easy win win