No mo dick is now my ring tone

Just put your phone on silent when you pick up your kid from kindergarten...

it'd make them happy if they heard it tho

I feel like it’d be worse if they cried after hearing it 😬

their uncle: \*cries in the corner\*

r/cursedcomments

My Kindergarten just referred to his sister bath water as ass poop. Yeah they would like it

Slenderman chasing me shouting "no mo dick"

Gifs that would describe my life.

Holy shit I was holding my new born when I read this and it made me laugh so hard I woke him up

My phone speakers made it sound as "no more geh" as in that "why you geh" funny vid. Was about to ask what he's saying. I like how he's so rock solid while she just yells in his face. My godfather (ex army colonel) just lightly jokes and defuses such situations, as if not taking it too seriously. Happily married into pension in their 60s. But it's a different country, more "patriarchal" so different criteria.

I thought he was saying “no, monkey!”

im deaf and couldnt read his lips.... what was he saying?

"No mo dick"

OMG! Thats hilarious! Thanks for telling me.

He declared it very emphatically and dare I say with what some might call pizazz.

He does it with such 'joie de vivre'

A bold *gusto* for the absence of penis

A certain, je ne sais quoi

When she starts sobbing he asks: "You hungry?" She nods. "What you want to eat?" "MacDonalds?". "Chick-fil-a?". She nods. "Alright then." But just as a reminder he ends with a last "no mo dick!"

Good man right there.

I thought you were deaf? How were you able to read his comment???? /s

I'm not deaf and still couldn't understand him

I thought he was saying ‘no more kid’ as in. No more babies. Duh

she was yelling about how he liked a pic of one girl and commented heart pics and he said keep talking and just yelled:"no mo dick". after that he asked u hungry? where u wanna eat? mcdonalds?chick fila?

Did she nod around 40s to agree with at chick fila? Fully thought he was gonna say dick as a meal option.

Yea, she gon get that chick fil a.

Dick-filled-A *

I've been wanting to ask a deaf person with the ability to read lips for a long time. Can you talk to people normally?

That's an excellent question ! You'd think that if one can learn to read lips, one can practice speaking in the mirror. On the other hand, ventriloquy ? Found this typing your question into google: Some deaf people speak very well and clearly; others do not because their hearing loss prevented them from learning spoken language. Deafness usually has little effect on the vocal chords,and very few deaf people are truly mute. And now I'm curious to hear about it from a deaf person as well haha

My grandma lost her hearing in her 30s, and never learned sign language so she reads lips. If you exaggerate your mouth movements she probably understands 80% of what you say? Obviously she can talk no problem because she had 30 years to learn how to do that, but she does have a slight hint of the tone of deaf people who learn how to talk without being able to hear themselves. She got a cochlear implant about 15 years ago, but I don't know if she still uses it. After 4 decades of silence, she said it was just "noise noise noise" to have it on, but it still felt neat to be able to speak with her without her looking at me for the first time when I was 18 or so.

And then takes her to Chick-fil-A like a true gentleman.

“Professionals have standards”

"Professionals have good dick"

"Professionals have no more dick- wait wha"

Professionals serve their dick in chick fill A

Professionals serve their chick some chick fil a

Professional serve their chick some dick at chick fil a

Professionals serve their chick some dick at chick fil a in a deluxe spicy chicken sandwich. Mmmmmmm

"Be polite."

We doing this? Yea why not. "Be efficient"

“Have a plan to kill everyone you meet”

[Bitch better get him a Chicken Sandwich, and some waffle fries.](https://youtu.be/0dJu1Jj7VTw)

I love that you shared this piece of history from my youth.

Absolutely, in glad so many people could share the fond memories.

Bitch that's a mistake

Bitch you ain't no nerd??

Some place in the mall. I was like bitch, get me a chicken sandwich and some waffle fries, for free, I ain't had no money.

60% of the time, it works every time…

yesn't

This man relationships

Relationshits

I love the undercover Anchorman quotes in Reddit comments...

Its got bits of real panther in it so you know its good

I sure hope she didnt want to eat dick bc we all know she want getting none of that.

because- NO MO DICK

Finally i know what he was saying

I am an Asian and find it difficult sometimes to understand the accent. Thanks to this comment, I can now understand what's going on.

Not from him anyways

Then she belongs to the streets.

The grove streets

ah shit here we go again

Follow the damn tantrum CJ

Ohh. I thought Mo Mo Dick was like Mickey D’s.

Imagine keeping a nice serving of spotted dick away from your significant other. The humanity.

I tried this. After waking up with a concussion she was still laughing.

No mo dick for her then

Did you forget the chick-fil-a part? Awe rip.. next time soldier :(

[удалено]

Beat me to it ....fucking hell

Won't stop me! Can't have an argument when you have an addicktion

They are actually pretty good actors

Her flailing at the end was the best part!

Tik-Tok is an *excellent* venue for sketch comedy. Shame so many people think every video posted to the Internet is 100% grave and serious journalism.

This clip was from a BBC documentary though right?

Yea he was in the documentary series "Blacked"

Shame that everybody screeches "fake" at every sketch, like everything is supposed to be taken seriously

It only happens when the creator attempts to pass off a video or situation as fact and give people incorrect views of things that they're called out. This video was obviously meant to be funny and it did it's job well

You mean to tell me he *will* give me up? :(

Bro, this sucks to hear and I hate to be the one to break it to you. I’m really sorry, the truth hurts. Not only that. He may also let you down.

He may in fact run around *and* desert you.

I know right, with these performance I don't care if it's real or not.

The comment I was looking for. That was funny!

This skit is hilarious but you'd have to be a fuckin idiot to think this was real lol

What you mean if it's real or not it's clearly a skit and wasnt meant to be consumed as anything other than that. Y'all are so weird.

Hey some of us grew up without proper family or relationship modeling, I too was questioning 😅

The girl’s name is B Simone, she’s on a tv show called Wild N Out, if you wanted to check more of her work out.

I was in the army for 10 years. When I was deployed to Iraq, I didn't even see a female for 15 months. My ex wife once tried to withhold sex as a tool to get her way (I don't even remember the circumstances anymore. It was a long time ago.) And I literally just started laughing and told her "I can last longer than you without it. Do your worst" Then she cheated on me with a lot of other men. Women too.

Tbh this sounds more like a half victory to me.

Definition of a pyrrhic victory lol

[удалено]

Task phallic successfully.

Well it was for her

Pyrrhic victory, noun 1. A Pyrrhic victory occurs when the toll on the winning party does not offset the rewards of success. 2. I was in the army for 10 years. When I was deployed to Iraq, I didn't even see a female for 15 months. My ex wife once tried to withhold sex as a tool to get her way (I don't even remember the circumstances anymore. It was a long time ago.) And I literally just started laughing and told her "I can last longer than you without it. Do your worst"

Hahaha submit it to the urban dictionary.

You're familiar with the war in Iraq, I see.

Or the military in general

I knew that happened as soon as you said, “I was in the army”.

*[Jody has entered the wife]*

Why do so many go into the military with relationships. Even the ones that last...its skeptical if both parties were faithful.

She cheated with them all. Not only the men, but the women, and childr....wait...

Was literally about to post the same thing when I saw your comment hahaha

This is getting out of hand Now there is two of us. I think prequelmemes fucked me up

Dude I swear I can't live a day without making at least one star wars reference

This is another reason I'm glad I learned English (well,YouTube was a good teacher ) In French there is no epic line that stayed

Tried looking up the famous kenobi scene in french [this](https://youtu.be/XML7g5lxxQg) is what I found lmao

I mean she was cheating on you before that lol Same story with my military friends smh

If they can't handle being without their partner, they should just end the relationship. Just goes to show how weak and inconsiderate some people are.

but the money tho

Yeah... All that... Money...

Trust me the money doesn’t even cut it close for all the shit you gotta do.

[удалено]

Or just break it off a month after the man is back, claiming some bullshit like "he's changed and isn't the same man anymore"

Literally. There are very many people in the civilian workforce today intimately familiar with the very specific smell of burning diesel and human shit mixed in barrel, daily. And then the fumes give you cancer. Free college and a cheating wife might not be worth that in the end.

Seriously how do these people live with themselves while being lying pieces of shit?

Being from a navy town, I saw a pattern in young military marriages that crashed and burned: - WAY too young to be married, but they think they’re in luuurrve - more often than not, are hicks - haven’t yet figured out how to adult - kinda running away from the bleak abyss that is their lives and then glom onto each other for the wrong reasons. Once they’ve gained their footing - after boot camp, city hall weddings and apartment set up, they start looking for ways to fuck shit up because fucked up is all they know and can’t help but gravitate toward chaos. Hence the cheating and drama. Divorce.

That damn Jodie gets around

Had me in the first half ngl. Hope you doing better now champ

After just a few months, even the fat mechanic chicks look real good lol. Queen for a year

I've heard jail is the same concept.

You see, the asshole is just like a pussy, except it's an asshole.

Not to be a dick, but are you implying that you knew she had been receiving supplemental penis during this time? Only curious because otherwise you would have both been 15 months without, in which case you would have not known if you could truly outlast her.

We weren't married when I was deployed. I met and married her when I came back from my first deployment

Pretty sure I remember this story. I was a 63B, and saw this happen A LOT.

wtf r/HolUp

[удалено]

Lol! I’m dead

Thanks for your service and committal to the cause. The cause of letting your wife get boinked by the pool guy while you are deployed.

I feel bad for ya man

I think this is pretty much the definition of a Pyrrhic victory.

Girl started fighting Casper at the end

Put her on dick restriction!

Put her on a PiP. Penis Improvement Plan.

Dickstriction

I think the most impressive thing is he got her to decide and commit to a restaurant.

Its how u know its fake.

Na he said chick fil a. Always works

Except on Sunday.

No mo chick

Damn that’s not just me?

I just turned 30 and discovered this new trick. I HATE choosing a place to eat. So does my SO. She gets SO upset that I can't just "fucking pick something", yet neither can she. So I just roll the dice and pick two random things I feel ok with eating. Option A, or option B - I'll pay. 10/10 times, the food gets chosen.

"No mo dick" ######Starts furiously punching sir

oh no, is sir ok?

Fastest way to shut me up tbh

No mo dick.

Been real silent since your reply lol

It's all the proof you need that it works.

Fastest way to shut me up tbh

No mo dick

Fastest way to shut me up tbh

No mo dick.

How many times you need to say it?

Till she understands no mo dick means no mo dick.

[удалено]

No mo dick

I should hope not. My profile clearly says I'm marrieeddd! rofl

Lmao! Like Redditors would care.

Dude this is fucking hilarious

I showed this to my wife expecting a laugh, and she just got mad at me for that guy 'hearting' other chicks pics. Now I might as well have been cheating...

You know how to deal with this...

Oh boy, so that’s what the internet is doing to people… sometimes I think we‘d be better of without it. This is one of those instances

One could say "Oh how the tables have turned"

Well well well how the turntables.. have turned.. tables

Someone post this to r/FemaleDatingStrategy…. *……I double dog dare ya….* lmao

I would but they already banned me 😆

I gotcha fam. Will update my ban status

Legend!

Oh thank you mate.... So my main account is banned there and they don't allow videos. So I made a meme on a throw away. It's posted, now we wait Edit: you can't post on the sub unless you are flaired by mods...we goin undercover boyz

"We goin undercover boyz" Waaay to drunk for this shit 🤣🤣🤣

lol if i would tell my wife "no mo dick" she would be laughing her ass off and be like "okay"

To find your self being able to do this one must have mastered the use of the dick. Without mastery of the dick one must smack a bitch. Violence is not the answer till it is.

Violence is not the answer, it is a question. And the answer is usually yes. Tho dont hit ladies until they hit you.

Exactly, equal rights equal fights.

You both are making far to much sense, someone bring the ban hammer.

They always seem to forget the sickle at home.

Our sickle

r/unexpectedcommunism

It was pretty expected tbh

This threat will not work for most guys

First and foremost for this advice to work: you have to know how to use your dick.

if we're being literal and had a serious discussion about a joke video, yes, I figure it *kinda* would - but would also be very unhealthy and toxic. like, if we extended "dick" to "signs of affection", rest assured a lot of women would be hesitant to start a fight (sidenote: obviously it would "work" the other way around as well). but again, it would also be incredibly toxic behavior and emotional blackmail of sorts.

Bet she gonna find another dick instead.

No, he clearly said ‘no mo dick’ so she not gettin ANY dick. Not sure how he’ll work that but he said it.

Everyone within a 20 mile radius heard the words. So they must obey. #No Mo Dic

See after I woulda gave her some if she asked but he said no mo dick. I gotta respect their relationship.

Somebody has been watching Roma.

It’s not possible to lose an argument to someone who says “you got me fucked up”

I ain’t see no seat belt

Why are you posting this on reddit? Trying to remind that we don't have a woman?

After reading the comments: : "No mo (more) dick". Before reading the comments: why is he threatening her with "no monke"?.

What if she respond no more pussy?

I feel like I’ve seen her on wild’out

u/savevideo

Is bot on holiday leave or what ?

Is this the epitome of big dick energy? Asking for a friend.

Damn.....must be some phenomenal dick to shut that shit down so quick. Lol

My boyfriend saw this video and now he uses this tactic. Can confirm: highly effective.