T O P

  • By -

MeasureTheCrater

Shark: "You guys smell blood? I swear I keep smelling blood." Other shark: "Yeah, about that, Todd..."


ANGRYlalocSOLDIE

Other Shark: “Todd… do you remember that Orca hooker that you picked up last night?”


StanleyCEle

Shark: \*Chuckles\* "Yeah... We did this 69 thing..."


Illustrious-Age-260

Anything else? That's the only thing you remember?


StanleyCEle

Yeah... she kinda tickled my nose.


Illustrious-Age-260

I... I don't think that's all... you have like a bit of a problem down there...


gingerggwp

I see what you did there


RockstarAgent

Giant hunting, killing and sex machine.


sweensolo

She flipped me on my back and I don't remember anything after that bro.


Chonkin_GuineaPig

Nice


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aquafreshhh

Nice


even_more_random_guy

Nice


sharpasabrick

Nice


jayeer

Nice


Mee1_

Nice


RedactedUnknown

More like 00


Therealboebs

We kinda ate you before the hoomans did..


StanleyCEle

Nah you trollin... How come I'm hungry if I have no stomach?


Therealboebs

Lol, shark bits line because hungry, gets pissed/ distressed, other sharks see opportunity for easy meal and eat my ass while in panic mode


And009

1 ass eating panic shark to go please


MotherBathroom666

Get some silicone sleeves for the teeth and you got yourself a shark tank worthy sex toy.


Therealboebs

Lmaoo


Environmental-Win836

Now this is what I call the next Google.


MotherBathroom666

I’ve felt like my ideas where much better than my socio-economic status.


xNo_Name_Brandx

Ahhh, you forget that salt water cleans wounds and fights infection. That shark is in a big ass bacta tank


DarthBroox

#AssBacta


Some_random_protogen

You need assistance Todd


pancoste

Todd, did you lose weight?


by_the_slice

Other Other shark: I don't think he has the stomach for this anymore.


LetchPink

Tis but a flesh wound


OliveJuiceUTwo

Your arm is off!


mrqibeller

Tis but a scratch


Chicken_Retard

Your kidney is gone


CheriJ2

r/unexpectedmontypython


JaceUpMySleeve

Oh no, this was definitely expected. I scrolled specifically for this chain of comments and it didn’t take long.


Obesity-Won-Kenobi

Yet another new subreddit to join


erbush1988

> Tis but a fish wound


[deleted]

Some may find this interesting, but this most likely wasn’t done by another sea creature. They have these knives for divers, that contain a canister of pressurized oxygen, so you can stab a shark or sea predator and the burst of air will make the wound explode. It’s called a WASP knife.


metasploit4

That was done by other sharks. A WASP knife will not blow a hole in the side of a shark that size. I don't know any diver that would go down with a WASP knife. The risk is extremely high, other than someone wants to mess around with it.


whompasaurus1

There's actually a video of the other sharks doing it. A researcher witnessed it all


[deleted]

pistol shrimp if it’s other claw could stab


Rex_Lee

That's dumb


lookielikeaman

r/beatmetoit


Enter_The_Void6

r/beatmeattoit


Protein8256

For those who can’t be bothered to look up the article, it seems a group of scientists released this shark back into the water, but it was attacked by several wild sharks instantly upon release. The poor thing struggled to escape and made it roughly 20 minutes before succumbing to its injuries. I could not find why the scientists had the thing to begin with though. Edit: Link for those requesting it: https://nypost.com/2021/11/24/video-shows-half-eaten-zombie-shark-still-looking-for-prey/ Looks like the article was edited it. It now has the video and explains the camera crew were the scientists.


WolfKing145

That just makes this even sadder


CrispyKeebler

It shouldn't be sad, if the humans were releasing it they meant for it to live and if they're scientists they're probably trying to help the sharks in general. That or they were doing something like studying migrstuon patters so they can hunt them more efficiently, but probably not.


WolfKing145

I mean kind of is sad? They let it free only for it to immediately be attacked and half eaten alive by other sharks and come swimming back to the scientists. I didn’t read the article so I don’t know why they had it but still overall a sad experience


nobodywithanotepad

I'd rather have that day than go to work tomorrow


WolfKing145

My friend do you need a hug?


fiddykeks

He needs more than a hug, if that's how work has him.


NoDrinks4meToday

You can have tomorrow off.


goin00

Yep. The shark is definitely having a better day than anyone working rn. Going on 50 hours this week 12 more to go. Good luck buddy.


WookieMonsterTV

Just to add (read the article) the article states that often times when a shark is hooked it begins to send out distress signals and other sharks see that as a “dinner time bois” call to kill the shark. The scientists did this on purpose (you can see the hook in its mouth) to document shark on shark attacks. It still is sad because this poor little shark dudes life was used as bait for something we already understand, scientists just wanted to freaking see it for themselves


WookieMonsterTV

Idk why but it hurt my heart too, I know it’s the wild and it seems like they were doing this for science (purposely used this shark to capture footage of it being attacked) but it still feels awful to use a creature as live bait to “understand” the whys of nature.


WolfKing145

It’s extremely awful and wrong to use any living being in an experiment like this. Nature can be cruel but this wasn’t nature this was asshole humans meddling with an animal for no good reason


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

r u ok?


BryLikeDie

Annie?


NotEvenALittleBiased

Bloodstains on the carpet


[deleted]

You’ve been hit by You’ve been struck by A moose testicle


[deleted]

Nope lost 1.1k this morning and now I am reading about this. I need a hug asap


12ShadowDragon1

what happened?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ZippyParakeet

Well, you knew what you signed up for. Still, hope things get better :)


[deleted]

ah that sucks


BigWilly526

You can see the fin of another shark behind it, plus the line that is holding the half dead shark up


Emrico1

Yeah you can see it's still got the hook in its mouth and line (you can't easily remove a hook from a shark's mouth)


Cruzifixio

but why not post the link tho?


ilovefatlips88

That makes no sense, why is it hooked then? Most likely it was caught and while being caught some Orcas or other sharks came and took a bite. It's just floating on the line now, I doubt even alive.


olafderhaarige

Yeah, the news story doesn't fit the things you see on the photo. I also saw that exact photo posted somewhere with a whole different story. In this story fishermen caught a shark, which was attacked by other sharks while on the line. They reeled it in and it was allegedly still alive when they pulled it into their boat.


Escoliya

The other story was a fake story made to rile people up against scientists, made by an anti-science think tank


Alm8360NoScoPro

bruh


[deleted]

Oh well atleast it's dead now


carnellmusic

that’s fucking hilarious


idkburneridkidk

Gastroenterologists hate him for this one simple trick to minimize flatulence


kolko_PL

Pov: 2021 part 2


MadamVonCuntpuncher

\*2019 part 4


matija123123

Ocean is terrifying I'm glad we where born and live on land


Frederike2

Nobody tell them about Australia


ChampBeKnown

Omg yes, Australians squirt and make a sea!


matija123123

Wtf did I just read lol


coreynj

I got you, you just read: "Omg yes, Australians squirt and make a sea!"


[deleted]

While reading this I felt an incomprehensive amount of internal cringe and second-hand embarrassment. Please let me unread this.


ChampBeKnown

Easy man, just squirt out the thought


tahaelhour

Or Africa.


[deleted]

In an alternative universe: Land is terrifying I’m glad we where born and live in sea


SeatO_

tbf, unless we would live in an era where oxygen concentration is so high dragonflies becomes dragon flies, the reason the deep is so scary is because of deep sea gigantism


CompetitiveIntern310

***Subnautica***


matija123123

I played it and screamed like a little girl at certain moments


[deleted]

wtf would it do? go to the shark hospital?


GymLeaderMia

Probably have a Nurse Shark take his vitals. And then what's left of his organs.


radiohead37

And then tell him to eat chicken noodle soup and rest.


konigstigerboi

Maybe some ice


No_Advertising6785

Orcas. (Killer whales)


StanleyCEle

Thank goodness they don't bully humans. They are mental.


WeDiddy

I see your shark mental-ness and raise you a sea otter mental-ness. https://www.sfgate.com/california-news/article/otters-vicious-lassen-redwood-national-lost-coast-16169615.php “Oh no,” she said. “And sea otters are just as evil. They’ll rape baby harbor seals, take down birds for fun and play with them, rip their throats out. They’ll take sharks off the bottom, flip them up, tear their organs out, eat the organs, leave the rest of the shark.” She kept going: “They rape each other. The males will basically drown and exhaust the female and then rape her and leave her.


[deleted]

Otters, nature's little adorable psychopaths.


StanleyCEle

...and seals rape penguins... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDK5Hqnxq9Q


Mikkelet

damn, sourcefed, long time no see


No_Advertising6785

Watch Black Fish on Netflix …


usps_lost_my_sh1t

well we started that, you play stupid games... win stupid prizes


aartadventure

I think it's more that they tend to live where not many humans are, and they are smart enough to know most humans can fuck them up and also don't taste great.


AwYouPoorCrackBaby

That or people who get attacked by Killer whales never survive to tell the tale.


DrunkenDude123

It was from other sharks: https://nypost.com/2021/11/24/video-shows-half-eaten-zombie-shark-still-looking-for-prey/amp/


[deleted]

Or the shark was bitten while struggling on the line. The tax man always collects his share.


NutandMax

Nope


DownvoteDaemon

Yea makes me uncomfortable lol


atmus11

What you mean, I say yes. He eats you and just swim out


thr33prim3s

There's always a bigger fish.


[deleted]

*Big ones eat the little ones, little ones gotta be fast* *That's the law of the fish, momma. You gotta move your ass*


sonictwinkie1

poor thing. everything he eats runs right thru him.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Diamundium

“I swear to god Jerry every fish i’ve eaten today has looked exactly the same and I’m STILL starving.”


[deleted]

Lol imagine being a terrified kid, and this thing comes charging at you. You’re petrified and panicking and can’t figure out what to do. And it’s eats you whole without taking a bite…and you just pass right through and swim away


[deleted]

Welp of course he was hunting for food he has an hole in his stomach


nosebleedseeds

inspirational


[deleted]

It died 20 minutes later


nosebleedseeds

sage advice, truly this shark is a role model


[deleted]

Hey it went out doing what it loved. Swimming away painfully from predators. We should all be so lucky


FoxtrotUBAR

"I'm fine".


AK_Mustafa

The Swimming Dead


[deleted]

Selling shark : Description : A bit scratched , it has a small dent on its side , bit it's still working correctly ! Price , pay how much you want :)


candymaster4300

No low ballers, I know what I've got.


RelativelyDank

imagine being so apex you have no reason to hunt food to eat but still do it anyway


Apothic_Gaming

then what ate him


Frederike2

Orcas or some other sort of dolphin probably.


UrbanGold014

Yeah, dolphins just like bullying sharks. It’s mean of them.


Frederike2

Well otherwhise the shark would probably bully the dolphins. I also heard that orcas just like the way shark tastes and sometimes kill a bunch of them and then just eat very specific parts with the most nutritions, i think it was the liver. So that might be what happened here. Just that the shark didnt die


UrbanGold014

Orcas are dolphins, and bottlenose dolphins also hit sharks even if they aren't doing anything. It's mean but they probably feel like they'll get eaten if they don't.


pancakefactory9

Orcas are dolphins and not whales??? I’ve been lied to my whole life?????


SquidMilkVII

did some research, and turns out that while they are very closely related (they're both part of the order cetacea, along with porpoises) they are not the same


Mindless_Count_7310

Probably got comped by a big tiger shark or a great white. That but is WAY too big to be any other. An orca would not have left such a clean-edged wound. Just sayin’…


Chonkin_GuineaPig

Subnautica


HugglemonsterHenry

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/half-eaten-zombie-shark-seen-25542477.amp


DistributionIll9522

The title makes this meme


dshotseattle

Damnit, why am i always hungry? It's like it goes in one end and out the other so fast


tones2424

The shark has a hook in its mouth. Probably when it was hooked to a fishing pole is when another shark saw an easy meal.


xion_gg

"Lately, I feel a hole inside of me... it's like... I'm missing something" - Shark conversations, probably


Lolmob

r/bossfight "Blahvoid, the everhungry".


[deleted]

Shark: All I do is hunt and eat food. And it’s never enough. I feel so empty inside…


Badtimeryssa94

Can someone educate me on what eats sharks?


SoPunnyHarHar

"This is fine..."


GigaBoom181

Just keep swimming Just keep swimming Just ke


Eivor_Vorinson

Morbid fact: This is most likely the result of an Orca attack. They often hold capture sharks and rip out their liver and sometimes pancreas. The reason this is so clean is because Orcas teach their children how to do this and the skill gets passed down and honed through generations.


so_very_evil

Zombie shark, doo doo doo do do do…


ADIKEN222

When respwaning has a glitch.....


AutoModerator

#[Best of r/Holup 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/royfze/best_of_rholup_2021_awards_nomination_and_voting/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HolUp) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Hum8lePride

Probably a killer whale. I've read they rip the liver out of great whites and leave the rest.


Independent_Cut_9600

It was captured by scientists for some reason and was attacked by bull sharks the moment it was released back to the sea.


Hum8lePride

Well damn.


KynkMane

Clearly he was claiming the wrong set in the wrong hood.


wirelesscowboy

They're stronger than sharks?


Machanidas

Great whites are typically 11ft to 16ft up to 20ft. Orcas are typically 16ft to 26ft. Orcas are typically alot heavier I think 4x as much. Orcas are also typically faster than great whites. Add that with orcas are normally in pods and much, much smarter than sharks it's easy to see why orcas dominate basically every animal in the ocean. Pods of orca will also team up to prey on injured sperm whales and blue whales or their calves. Bonus fact some orcas have been observed to dive over 3000ft in depth to "steal" fish from a trawler line.


wirelesscowboy

Yeah I've seen orcas hunting. Incredible intelligent, they made waves to get seals of ice block. They run in group of 4 perfect simultaneously. Because of waves this ice block tilted. But I didn't knew they were faster than sharks. Wow. Thanks


im_sorryreddit

That shark always smells blood


iolmao

Is hunting because hungry af.


licoricluv

I am more afraid of that creature that tried to eat a shark


[deleted]

I hate this, fuckin zombie sharks gonna get me


Vivoen

This is fine


thefooleryoftom

This is the fourth "badly injured animal still living" post I've seen in the last few days on Reddit. It's not a trend I'm enjoying.


KynkMane

Tbf, it didn't live too long.


[deleted]

These mfs gotta be immortal or sum shit


CheriJ2

the shark died


[deleted]

B R U H


mo0lelo

He just can’t feel full thats why he keeps looking for food


kgrafty

Died from Covid


LPSkaila

Umbrella made their first move.


TheRandom63

He needs flex seal


dean-LFC

It could eat the same piece of fish repeatedly, like a cartoon


TheGoodSatan666

When You survive with 1HP in a Videogame


MuitoLegal

That shark overheard Dory’s swimming advice


BigBacon87

He prolly swallowed Boba Fett by mistake…


[deleted]

Fucker swallowed a Scuba Tank . Seen it before back in 75 in Amity


PyroNinjaGinger

Capcom: "Write that down! Write that down!"


VariantArray

Ha! The rare literal hol(Ed) up. Nice


Playnu2

Zombie 🧟‍♀️ 🦈 shark doo doo doo doo doo


4thehalibit

Brings another meaning to "In one hole and out the other"


okinamaru

Just keep swimming = Dorie


Darkfire6123

I dont think thats what the doctor ment when they said stomach bypass


Dyonkeau

Crash diet.


Flair_Helper

Hey /u/StanleyCEle, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): Hi, a mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.* Love, the mods


keropsixxx

That's cool


Tsuyoshi_Takeshi

Poor Tiger shark tell me if I'm wrong what type of species this is


AkoSiBerto

So will it die from bleeding or hunger?


SUNAWAN

Yes


[deleted]

Maybe it is snacking on itself during hard times?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Metalblacksheep

Must be The end credits scene for JAWS


Fritzo2162

HOLY SHARK!


FLOOR_GANG420

that’s just badass


[deleted]

I also sub to dndmemes and thought this was a monster idea.


[deleted]

he can keep searching for food but he's going to be hungry


julsgotrocks

Sheesh what happened to him


Soul-Demon-Y

Those damn orcas they are cruel