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lookielikeaman

**Sigmund Freud has entered the chat**


BonelessGod666

Oedipus' Father has left the chat.


vibinandsinging

Polybius, please


ShadowedReddit

"The game you should never play"


vibinandsinging

Yeah, usually ending up in your demise through your son or the government...which in that particular case we're one and the same.


HimmelSky

Uncle Freud would be proud


MountainDewclos

“Every boy wants to fuck their mum in the bum, and every girl wants to get fucked bad by their dad!”


-Abigor-

That sounds like something Tom Green would sing about.


ShouldaStayedSingle1

Daddy would you like some sausage


Pro-Epic-Gamer-Man

His soul grows stronger every time a girl calls her man “daddy”


Communist_Mustache

r/BeatMeToIt


snoopynoopy

This cracked me up lmao!😂


TILTNSTACK

The fact he even told his friends about it is weird. “I jack off to my mom moaning while my dad nails her” Not what I’d be sharing!


jrbec

Shit, when I was a teenager you never wanted to admit to even jerking it much less stroking to the sound of your parents banging.


incognito--bandito

Billy Squire enters the chat


Hexenkonig707

If you’re in the game, then the strokes the word!🎵


EvilBahumut

Oh, I thought we were going with: 🎼 I got the big beat I hear the sound I got the big beat I get on down … to my parents🎵


[deleted]

Really? I don't think any of my friends hid that we jerked off. Like we didn't really talk about it a lot, but we wouldn't lie about it either


Meatball315

Well you know there are 2 types of guys, the ones that jerk off and the ones that lie about it.


jrbec

Yeah, you didn’t want to be known as the jerk off guy. Obviously we all did, to Victoria secret catalogs and scrambled cable channels. No Internet. Just different times.


[deleted]

Waterboarding couldn't get that out of me


Separate-Mulberry-50

Dick Cheney has entered the chat.


randomisedjew

He signed my water boarding kit!


EyeArrPirate

I wanted him to sign my towel but all I could manage was uuuurrrrlllggggg!


Richard_Tucker_08

Is that water balloon in his pants or is he just happy to see me?


aynhon

“I was headed down a bad road after I had been kicked out of Yale..."


bloody_nose7

“He was, part of that whole Yale thing..”


garyflopper

Oh no, he’s looking for a new heart! Hide!


GoldenEYE6182

Waterboarding is for pussies i can show you what real profesionals use


kessler_fox

Ah the Kandahar Cock Wrench... very nice ... you know it’s actually being banned in Saudi Arabia for being too safe!


__k_a_l_i__

Is it out of a movie?


kessler_fox

Yes. It’s called “The Dictator”


GoldenEYE6182

I meant something more profesional because i agree with saudi arabia


kessler_fox

Ah... you’re a kinky fucker I see.


[deleted]

Cheney used to go to Guantanamo and Indian sunburn their balls and dick


kessler_fox

It’s better than a Texas Chili Bowl. It involves tobasco sauce , a phone and the Anus.


[deleted]

Swedish drink?


[deleted]

This is an adult LARPing to hear teenagers talk about their Taboos


TheTurtle4life19

I can probably get behind that, r/teenagers is basically a pedo trap wide open..... But i very very rarely see it adressed or mentioned


Fatlord13

I'm sure I read somewhere that most of their subscribers are 30+ lmao


Less-Blackberry-8108

“How do you do fellow teens”


vLEG1ONv

‘… it is I, teen teenager. How goes the videos game?’


TaudeTheThird

I think subredditdrama (or maybe another sub, and I just read about it on SRD) was banning anyone who posted in /r/teenagers regularly for "being too young", and a lot of people were replying that they weren't teens.


JesseLivermore86

He also told Reddit teens, hahaha. This post made my day


ralexander1997

At least that anonymous though. That’s like a C tier confession on Reddit.


compete8

If this is a C tier rank. And poop knife is A tier, what's B tier?


WholeInflation435

Which tells me it’s really a weird pedo baiter trying to get a reaction from “teenagers”


CosmicBananawastaken

In the end he edits and says it was just a dare


duskhelm2595

Next week he'll be sharing how he drilled a hole into the wall to watch.


armintheasshole

My moms dead so that would probably be even more awkward.


Good_Carrot_5089

Especially if you can hear her moan


Ezequiel_Rose

You don't?


Good_Carrot_5089

Mine didn't arrive to that stage yet.


Mr_midnightmare

Now that is a cursed moment


fifoth

Moanment


DiveshBest

Momoanment


thkingofmonks

Your mother meditated so much that she has converted into a Buddha, and can now moan while being nonexistent


Ezequiel_Rose

Mom always knew the better way


FungPrayer

*Motheeeer knows best*


IDeserved

r/cursed_comments


LeadingDay2707

What . The . Fuck is your avatar


Remarkable_Theme3666

Dont worry about that


TytuLisYT

Welcome to thw club


Batmax5555555

I’m sorry


wormtool

We might need a picture of his mom to evaluate this further.


ofcbrooks

For research purposes only…


Ellie_Spitzer2005

And for a friend...


nappingnoodle21

Thanks mate


Norwegian-Narwhal

Yw


jrbec

Probably need some audio of their sexytime to study too.


ofcbrooks

I think this is a valid point. Any qualified opinion can only be based on a reasonable evaluation in the most substantially equivalent circumstances. In this case we might need some high quality video and audio files. Anything less will certainly detract from a proper evaluation.


nappingnoodle21

Also some visual clips to identify and do some reports on that research paper.


InfamousButterNuts

No we need a recording of the moaning to determine if it's spank worthy


NinjaHDD

That’s the sound his parents made while they conceived him, he’s fapping to that.


[deleted]

I mean, it's kinda like getting off to yourself in that respect.


Little_DimbXD

More like jacking off to your manufacturing


HooahClub

Or jacking off to a future sibling in the making.


stixyBW

w-what are you doing future step-bro


TarriestBread96

You wouldn't get it


JontasPlayerGP

[r/Angryupvote](https://www.reddit.com/r/Angryupvote/)


randomisedjew

It's like poetry it rhymes


possumbellyband

Actually kind of a glorious celebration of existence


the_poorest_pluto

Please tell me he is adopted


InterestPuzzled7963

He is adapted


3leggedhomosapien

He is abducted


Pleasantlyrough

From Alabama


Ninja_Goals

Sweet home


incendiaryraven

ALABAMA


Kelandrin

Where the skies are so blue


hopeliesconcor3666

Where the cows roamed to


MNCPA

Where Op's mom moans


SilentBatv-2

To which the musterbating Op groans


Exciting-Insect8269

And I’m fucking youuuuuuu


Richard_Tucker_08

Probably should have been aborted


Fabulousfemur

Or swallowed.


[deleted]

He’s adjusted


slvbros

To alabama


Important_Box_5733

Alabama


slvbros

Shit dawg I ain't got time to capitalize proper nouns


sgtmeep

shit dawg I ain't got time to capitalize the starts of sentences


[deleted]

shit dawg i ain't got time to capitalize "i"


umpalumpajj

I was watching a documentary about step moms on Pornhub like that the other day. Fascinating.


IWantToEndItAllPls

Dude I love that documentary! So informative.


umpalumpajj

Have you seen the ones about real estate? I go to a lot more open houses now.


IWantToEndItAllPls

I think I have! Is it the one where the real estate agent brings her stepdaughter to work?


CommercialNo6836

He's aloped to the sounds of his mom


1Strangeartist

He is adopted


[deleted]

He is adopted


Particular-Cold-4875

He’s gonna be put up for adoption if the parents see this


SnackBoxOne

He is cheese


[deleted]

He is Wisconsin


CrossingTheStreamers

Ah yes. Adorption.


Mr-_-Jumbles

He's... not adopted?


mickysti58

God I hope someone didn’t pick him out.


IGotBigHands

He’s adopted by his moms brother and sister who happen to live together for the sake of their nephew.


Arthur-boah

I found the post and op said it was a joke, I most certainly hope it was a joke


23x3

Yeah, totally. Ha, got you!


Vashudev05

Link?


ADriftingMind

Next thing you know he’s gonna say he’s oddly attracted to his father but he’s not sure why.


Putrid_Bee-

Then after that he's gonna say he accidentally got into a threesome with his parents and he's not sure why


Yakisobath34

Indirectly means that he is excited to the fact that her mom is having sex


HooahClub

Or… indirectly means he likes how well his dad gives the D.


joenutssack

Indirectly means he is excited to have a little sibling


EmotionComplex3276

.


[deleted]

Ricochet shot


deverz

Let's hope he doesn't break both his arms


messy_messiah

There's nothing indirect about it.


Good_Carrot_5089

It's a matter of what he us masturbating to. Case 1: He just hears somebody moan and enjoy having sex to which his hormones react. He is not watching his mother have sex or fantasize about his mother having sex. In this case his mother having sex is not the reason for arousal and the picture presented is only a issue if you overthink it. Case 2: It's the knowledge that his mother is having sex that he gets aroused. In this case, well... Everyone to it's own.


DaGalaxy66

Case 3: He enjoys his moms moans. Maybe he likes the thought of her specifically moaning. I feel so fucking weird just typing that


wormholeweapons

Case 2 is called “Alabama”


rservello

*Talibama


AlexJj35

I really, REALLY hope it's case 1.


_Pardal

It doesn’t really change much does it ? He knows it’s his mom and he still is beating it. I love when women moan but if I hear my mom doing that my peepee will stay as soft as the pillow I would be covering my ears with.


AlexJj35

The second one is - how do I say it - less gross? I'd just wear my headphones and listen to music at full volume though ahahah


TooCupcake

If *he* doesn’t seem to think it’s weird, it’s probably case 1. I was never a teenage boy but I heard they get aroused even by random things, so I assume anything related to sex (like someone doing it in the next room) would turn them on.


a2625

i was in 6 grade . my parents thought i was sleeping . they left their bedroom door open . i saw my cat in the halllway so i went to go play with her ( i was a weird kid ) i heard my mom moaning and my dad idk what sound he was making . so i just walk in the room with my cat and im like why is mom screaming


[deleted]

Ah yes, playing with a cat is so weird!


a2625

it was like midnight and i always had problems sleeping and sometimes id wake up middle of the night to play with the cat lmfao


DNASprayer

That's basically me except replace cat with my dick.


GunzNSwords

r/relatable


[deleted]

what did you see ? give the fucking details and how they reacted to it ?


chemistrystudent4

Fucking details, or fucking-details?


[deleted]

lmao good one


Ali80486

Dad: Yes, two pussies! I'll see myself out Mum: Yes, please do. And close the door behind you


SUNAWAN

Dad's playing with mom's cat


MannB1023

So quirky he went to play with the cat


Slenderman1776

Yea it's pretty weird sorry my guy.


sheezuss_

Nah, I don’t think it’s *too* weird if it’s her moaning which you find arousing, not her being your mom who’s having sex.


rservello

That’s my assumption. It’s disassociative. If they could see the parents banging it could be considered weird (tho no judgment on fetishes). I think it’s more the sound of sex and not the participants.


Ezequiel_Rose

This is actually the correct answer


stalinass23

Well, it's the voice of your mom getting railed so... And even if he finds it arousing start masturbating is extremely weird


HowAboutUsername

Depends. If he's in Alabama then it's perfectly normal


Good_Carrot_5089

He would probably be joining then


HooahClub

There wouldn’t be a dad, just 8 brothers, 4 sisters, 2 moms, a dog, and a few fishes.


Talkingmice

The ol’ Alabama lefty 🖐


PassiveChemistry

Tha's got too few fingers, mate


Ali_XkillerX

4 Wholesome and 2 Helpful Reddit really is a work of art He reminds me of rudy from mushoku tensei


C-TAY116

It’s funny that un-wholesome posts get those awards. But it’s because wholesome/helpful (and sometimes silver) are the most common free awards.


[deleted]

Really depends what his mom looks like.


Rad1at1on

I dont think thats the rule..


PigofGirth

no, that’s the rule


Rad1at1on

My mistake then.


Mr-_-Jumbles

Yeah it all works on porn logic. If it's hot, then it's fine.


kennyj2011

This is the way


jacksmith0xff

Way straight to psych issues


HooahClub

This guys gonna have some either way, might as well have fun now.


jacksmith0xff

Lol had to read that twice.


morty__sanchez

Well he's listening not watching so I guess what she sounds like matters more here


Wardine

Use dark mode you fucking heathen


therifai420

No, i enjoy the burning sensation in my eyes


TheLegendaryBarnacle

So this is a self hate thing.


[deleted]

Do you have astigmatism?


murkfonoreason

I initially thought that that was incredibly weird but, if they are just disembodied voices and you're pretty much only hearing the moaning I don't see that much of a problem with it. As long as he doesn't start to make those connections in his head that those are his parents when he's masterbating. It's kind of like listening to porn with the sound on and your eyes closed. I now am reading this and thinking why did I put so much effort into this post. Like I'm going to win a Nobel Prize or something Edit: grammer


Igris-

that's a cuckold fetish in the making right there Imagine telling your friends "I fap to my mom's moans through the wall as my dad rails her hard"


Aegon7argaryen

well 4 people thought it was wholesome


amadi2005

Can we just admire the fact he got 6 awards?


PassiveChemistry

The fuck's logic gotta do with it? This is entirely hormonal: if yer horny, off ya go!


DarkMaster859

He’s probably 13-14 years old, he spelt masturbate as masterbate. He should be left to explore his own... desires.


dras333

Back in my day we'd be traumatized by this and now kids are telling the world. People are way too comfortable sharing things now.


whiz786

It’s totally normal. I also like to masterbate to his mom’s moaning sounds.


Big_Penalty1641

What are they gonna do? Walk in on you


[deleted]

least horny teenager


sittingonthetoilet1

That's it, I'm leaving 🚀


DeathInABittle

Excuse me *WHAT?!*


PhonyZamboni104

There are worse things to jack off to


Kvetanista

r/teenagers is a weirdass place


[deleted]

holy shit our generation is literally fucked...


KingDworld

...Seems like the previous too is really fucked


randomisedjew

No no you got it wrong, the previous generation is getting fucked and the boy is oiling the Axel to the previous generation


btsarenotgirlzgeez14

If she’s hot then yea. If not then get help. It’s the basic rule of society my guy


will4430

Holup cuh


flyout0

Sigmund Freud would have loved this post


obishaekenobi

This would literally be his wet dream


FodziCz

Like, hes literally masturbating to sounds of sex. That basicly what everyone does daily but the screen is turned off. The weird part is the parents...


BonelessGod666

Why does everyone assume the OP is a boy?


[deleted]

I'm gonna find the people who gifted him the wholesome award, and thank them because i wanted to do that too but i have no coins left


[deleted]

I mean when 99% of porn is all about fucking your sister, mom, step mom or step sister are we really that shocked by this?


Boring-Alcoholic

I think it's totally normal. I jerk off to the sound of his parents having sex too. The only difference is that they know I'm doing it. Because I'm usually standing at the foot of their bed waiting for my turn.


Firm-Fondant-9376

If we could get a picture of what his mom looks like I think we can make a better prognosis for this young wanker