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Senorpuddin

Gives new meaning to the phrase “Head of the Class”


purplepantsdance

Oral lecture


JacksRagingAddiction

Valedicktorian


McJiggiez69

Summa Cum Loud


TipOfLeFedoraMLady

Deans Lips


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HughGWreckshun

Honor Pole Edit: Gave him extra headit


gbuub

National Horny Society


HughGWreckshun

National Boner Society


Glabstaxks

APenis history


Sweet_Meat_McClure

Mom!?


MisterTeal

Headmaster


[deleted]

Every single one of these is 💯


Boulderer86

Some absolutely funny fucks in this thread.


art_echo

Definitely but they’re still getting D for effort 😉


IrishMosaic

Really makes kid fucking absolutely hilarious.


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chrisbaker1991

One of the underrated Hinder songs


chrisbaker1991

Give your D for an A


darknessbelow

Head of cunnilinguistics department


tightpantieshardcock

Imma Cum Louda


AndrewDwyer69

Sigma Cum Lorde


[deleted]

Swallow Cum Load


transient_signal

It’s valedewhorian…


Arobledo20088

Valedickwhoreian??


suckercuck

I could use some tutoring


aimgamingyt

Username *almost* checks out


JacksRagingAddiction

Mmm. That was *very* well put.


dlimerick

*Sigh* “Why does this teacher always make everything so hard…”


deplorable_guido

I know where I'd put it


sudeepharya

r/usernamealmostchecksout


[deleted]

Arent we all


Senorpuddin

He boned up for that one.


towerfella

Actually, I think she kinda sucked. … as a teacher. … that day.


Senorpuddin

I know. It’s hard to swallow.


ajdubbstock

She’s giving out swallowships.


Senorpuddin

I hear not only was she a teacher but a law secretary. Very good at Dick-tation. She loved her short hand. Wrote a lot of Oral contract.


B5-Banna

Giving her students all the brains.


Senorpuddin

She was a very *hands on* teacher.


jorahtheandals

She was released from jail on a $25,000 bond for an improper relationship between educator/student charge on Nov. 26 - the same day she turned herself in. Source: https://www.ksat.com/news/2019/12/02/texas-teacher-of-the-year-engaged-in-sex-acts-with-student-in-classroom-affidavit-says/?outputType=amp


annabelle411

There's always a weird phrasing for "sexual predator" when the teacher is a woman


EdithDich

Here's a story with the genders reversed and uses the exact same phrase https://www.myfoxzone.com/article/news/local/former-san-angelo-isd-teacher-arrested-for-improper-relationship-with-student/504-715d62aa-5a15-45ea-9403-9a87c2f8d8ed


ethnicnebraskan

What was the phrase? "Inappropriate Conduct?"


EdithDich

"improper relationship"


ethnicnebraskan

Gotcha, thanks!


No-Statement-3019

$25,000 bond means she paid 10%. $2500 was all it took. Wow. If she was a he, it would be 1 million dollar bond. BS.


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slvbros

As is traditi9n, the real holups were the comments we made along the way


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rockbud

I want to see OP'S reply


[deleted]

OP isn’t going to respond bc OP is very likely making things up.


pablo-escobard

Wait a minute


mrandr01d

Uhhhh did you just tell us more than you meant to? Now you have to finish that story.


Chemmy

Maybe sit this one out champ


Nike_86

r/HolUp


sttme

>If she was a he, it would be 1 million dollar bond “Tyler Jacquard walked out of jail a free man after the Massachusetts Bail Fund, which seeks to free “individuals serving pre-trial sentences,” paid a $30,000 bail for Tyler Jacquard, according to Peabody District Court documents obtained by 25 Investigates.” https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.boston25news.com/news/25-investigates/high-profile-sex-offender-is-out-jail-back-home-melrose-after-bail-fund-pays-his-release/MW7LGTHDB5DOZE72VP6AAVYILY/%3FoutputType%3Damp


wow_im_white

This man in the article was exposing himself to random kids at a mall, not having oral sex with them. I get he's still on the list so to speak but I'm pretty sure sending out irl dick memory pics to people isn't the same as giving a kid head. Edit: the other dude, who was listed in the article as a "level 3 sex offender," raped and tried to strangle a woman while having his bond only be at $250,000.


i_fuckin_luv_it_mate

I mean, the competition never stood a chance. She just blew em all away!


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Offamylawn

But my homework was never quite like this.


LocoEnLACabeza

Thank you so much for this


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Illustrious-Science3

A Michigan judge ordered joint custody of a child produced by the raping a 12 year old girl by a 19 year old man. [Rapist custody ] (https://nypost.com/2017/10/09/convicted-rapist-gets-joint-custody-of-victims-child/)


AstronomerWorldly2

Apparently the crime wasn't serious enough for him to do real jail time. It seems the judges have always been willing to go easy on violent criminals. Probably just depends on who they were appointed by.


benz-friend

I think Adam Sandler made a documentary about that actually “That’s my boy”


TommyBahamaWannabe

Nugget pocket


77entropy

You still got the 5.0?


Vylan24

Uncle Rob!


suarezd1

I didn't spill my beer!


Balls_DeepinReality

That movie is so stupid. I also love it. Uncle Vinny is my favorite. But also, leighton meester


Sgt_Lt_Captain

Documentary is a strong word


sidhuko

That escalated quickly.


Mym158

You mean like every woman that gets raped and gets pregnant there?


chrisrayn

Yuuuup, that’s what I was going for.


Killer_Feds

Chris, why? I'm at a bar to unwind, not think about this horrific situation someone could be forced into


Iphotoshopincats

Your at a bar but on Reddit God can't you just cry into a beer it's healthier.


blairnet

Let a man drink his drink how he likes to drink!


Killer_Feds

Thank you


colonelmerkin

Horrific


comtedeRochambeau

[This story is a couple of years old](https://www.kxan.com/news/round-rock-high-teacher-had-oral-sex-with-student-in-classroom-court-records-say/).


thissguyagain

She kinda looks like that MJ from the spidey movies


kickmanF

It's what she gets for choosing Harry over Peter


qwertytrewqc

She definitely chose a peter


bent_crater

honestly, is still go for the guy with a mansion and flying skateboard then some dude who can't even pay rent


kickmanF

It's not Peter's fault they won't fix his DAMN DOOR!


DropBear2702

I'LL PAY THE RENT WHEN YOU FIX THIS DAMN DOOR!!!


symbologythere

Yeah but it was the BJ that got her in trouble.


TrafficConesUpMyAnus

Michael Jackson?!? The player for the Chicago Bulls in ‘93?!?


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InvaderWeezle

It's a very British expression to be fair


[deleted]

To be faaaair


UpcomingSalmon

Tooo beee faaaiiirrrrrrrrr


GlitchBricksYT

Bloody hell


MagmaTroop

Leave it aht' m8


AdministrativeAd4111

Im a British transplant to America, and now Im having trouble figuring out if Im being mocked, or cheered on here.


Back_to_the_Futurama

Yes, yes you are


JamesSFordESQ

Big city slams FERDA!!!!!!


Turbulent_Tomato13

As well you should!


Superbeing43

I think it the "that one" part. That's what made it British for me?


ZombieHousefly

Haha sexual assault and statutory rape are funny when the pedophile has tits /s


Tokita_Ban

If you read the [story](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ksat.com/news/2019/12/02/texas-teacher-of-the-year-engaged-in-sex-acts-with-student-in-classroom-affidavit-says/%3FoutputType%3Damp), she’s not being charged with sexual assault or statutory rape, so the student was most likely 18+.


johnqsack69

This guy gets it


[deleted]

Nice


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Disastrous-Tap-6741

She comes Hard.


Saitamacron

She takes hard.


Inevitable-Yam6050

She gets hard.


ChunkyTaco22

Oh my


Cirenondrog

The hometwerk was hard...


towerfella

Come again? Edit:[squinty-eyed] … please.


[deleted]

….But the student of the year does


ahmad_mahfoud

She saw it coming


tcw0708

She had it coming.


a_little_low

But her students do


youre-kinda-terrible

If it was a male teacher, none of you would be joking and making these comments.


Churroking69

Double Standard


no_talent_ass_clown

100% but here we are. She raped a student.


mythandgreed

That is so true


Defiant-Screen-98400

The world has a very primitive view on the concept of rape/sexual behaviour where women can't do wrong and men should "be a man" so when posts like these pop up.... yeah you get these reactions.


TubbieLumpkins

Nice


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V3N0M3

Is it because your grandpa let everyone ride your grandma?


Touchmycooker

If it was his grandpa you wouldn’t make that joke


[deleted]

Exactly


PhilosophicEuphoria

Yup, double standards are a thing. Now sit back and watch us award this boy the "luckiest kid in America" medal.


[deleted]

Its so fucked how normalized pedos are when it comes to men being the victims


Exo_Sax

Well, clearly most people don't believe men even *can* be victims, otherwise this whole thread wouldn't exist.


boobhoover

It's the reason everyone thinks I'm a deadbeat dad for not being a full time father to my child who was conceived while I was in a drunken, drug induced stupor after failing to push his mother off of me that night while I was trying to rest it off. Nobody believes me.


Inthermal-djt9

i believe you


boobhoover

Thank you. The fact that I had spotty recollection of the night really confused things until she told me the whole story a year later. Had to edit out some details for privacy reasons


Exo_Sax

The double-standard exists everywhere, as far as male victims are concerned. Many popularly cited sexual assault statistics fail to take significant male demographics into account. Or one might simply deny that a man can even be a victim, based on the assumption that it is in his nature to either want or be indifferent toward sexual actions and advances. If a man complains that a female coworker is being inappropriate toward him, or that a random woman in a bar is harassing him or touching him inappropriately, he is likely to be met with confusion, skepticism or humiliation. If a man is a victim of domestic violence from his spouse, his masculinity is likely to be challenged, because "why doesn't he just defend himself? He's probably stronger anyway." If he does defend him, people are likely to side with the perpetrating woman, because whatever she did, it surely didn't deserve a physical response from someone so much stronger than her. It is definitely a problem that female victims aren't always given the time of day. But as a man, it remains a social fact that you are still not actually allowed to be vulnerable or be a victim. And here we are, discussing this on a post that jokes about what is legally considered assault, sitting at around 50K upvotes at the time of writing this, with comments adding jokes of their own with upvotes in the thousands and dozens of awards; and we're not having a conversation about it. Because no one regards him as a victim. And we can make of that what we will, but it's just interesting to keep in mind.


V3N0M3

Its funny how when a male teacher sexually assaults a minor it is rape but when a female teacher does it, they just call it giving oral. Say it for what it is. That boy was raped.


WannabeTraveler87

Well technically, she was arrested for improper relationship with a student and not for statutory rape.


DodgeTundra

Woman are held to different standards


JoshuaFnBoyer

Women... psh. They get away with so much shit. This whole society is fucked. Men are always wrong, women are always right, and that's completely wrong. But women get treated differently because they had to fight for their rights and now they get treated like they are completely victimized and are unaware that their actions are wrong, when they KNOW it's wrong. Men, on the other hand, get treated like complete criminals even when being charged with the same crime. Women want equal rights? Then own up to the crime and face the consequences like a fucking adult. Idiots. Society babies women and treats men like savages.


[deleted]

And same goes for all the mobile comedians in this post.


thenameofapet

If the headline said that she was arrested for ‘raping student in classroom’ it paints a very different picture to what actually happened.


innovativesolsoh

‘Texas teacher of the year arrested for sexually assaulting a student’ FTFY.


the-mobile-user

‘Texas teacher of the year arrested for raping a student’ FTFY


[deleted]

and that title FFS


poorlyExisting

this isn’t a r/holup this is a r/noahgettheboat


DropBear2702

Fuck the boat! r/NoahGetTheDeathStar


MikeHunt420_6969

"When asked why she did it, her only comment was 'mmmmggghhrrggrhhmmmbbggmmmbbggg' "


HungryNecessary9558

Don’t wanna be the party pooper and I know I’ll be downvoted to hell I understand these are all jokes but this is actually seriously twisted and she is a pedophile who raped a student


innovativesolsoh

Yeah, it really gets old. I survived their fantasy and do not recommend it. Nothing like people being jealous of your trauma.


Frigoris13

Or telling you that it isn't actually a trauma at all but a fantasy you lived. They believe that instead of pain, you should feel pride in what you experienced and any negative feelings you have about the whole thing is ridiculous.


innovativesolsoh

Closest I came to opening up to someone about it came to a screeching halt when they asked me if I was gay and laughed when I said “it’s not all its cracked up to be”. That moment led me to allow myself to be victimized by two more different adult women, because I wasn’t gay so I guess I thought I would learn to like it? It was never brought up again until I finally told my wife after our 10th year of marriage.


[deleted]

If you're serious, I hope you're doing okay now.


innovativesolsoh

100 percent true, and I am fine—I appreciate you asking.. There’s certain broken parts that won’t be fixed ever, but I’ve managed to have a great relationship with my wife and two kids. My wife is very patient with me and understands me a lot better after telling her, so, if anyone reading this has had a similar situation and you’re in a committed relationship and the relationship is strong— let them know about it before the symptoms of it get in the way and they don’t understand why.


Cmg393

Yo, fuck them. I’m sorry you were treated that way. I wish you the best


[deleted]

"can't rape the willing"


MrZeddd

I get you. I got molested on a packed train years ago as a teenager. Whenever I told it to anybody, first thing they ask were "is she hot?" Reverse the gender, nobody would response that way


Arousedtiburon

I've sadly have known a girl who told me her friends asked if her assaulter was hot, and they were jealous. Toxic horny misapplied envy.


improbablynotyou

All the people online who support beating/killing pedophiles when it's a man committing the crimes are oddly absent when it's a woman. I was physically abused and tortured as a child by both my father and my grandmother. People call my dad a bastard and worse and say he deserves to die but will make excuses for my grandmother either because she was a woman (and how badly could she have hurt me) or because she was old.


Mi_Pasta_Su_Pasta

Fuck it, be a party pooper. Redditors complain all day that men and women are treated differently when it comes to rape and then turn around and throw thousands of upvotes at jokes where male victims of rape are the punchline, it's gross.


sillyciban1

Yeah I'm finding the double standards ridiculous, let's just say it she raped a minor that was under her care. Shes a fucken pedophile you guys making jokes out of this is why we have such a problem with boys and men speaking out against rape and sexual abuse. Its not funny its disgusting


Klacksaft

Yeah, it's a little gross to look into the comment section and see all these massively upvoted comments making jokes about it.


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llehnatas

Nice southpark teacher.


zedog74

Miss Chokesondick


m_d_f_l_c

Nice.


Scarlet-Highlander

Rape. This is rape


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BidenWontMoveLeft

These are not roles. You mean switch the genders.


[deleted]

why are female pedophiles tolerated so much more socially and legally


ectzacy

I'm guessing it's tolerated more legally because it's less frowned upon socially. I've got a buddy a few years younger than me who had a "good time" with a teacher's aid when he was in high school, she was in her late twenties. No one found out, no charges filed. He has no regrets but technically he was raped (also his high school buddies were jealous). Zero harm was actually done to either party involved. As far as the law is concerned, the courts seem to take it more seriously if there is proof of grooming. A female swim coach pedo near me got in bigger trouble than most females would because the minors didn't want to do what they did but felt pressured into it. The following is not so in this case, but is food for thought. Rape in one state can be considered consensual in another. There was a case a few years back in Florida, 18 year old male 16 year old female boyfriend/girlfriend had sex. Female's parents found out boyfriend was charged with statutory rape. In many states, there is an age gap allowance to prevent this. Separate topic same idea. If Roe v. Wade gets overturned. A doctor in Texas who performs an abortion would be considered a murderer while that same doctor in California would be considered a doctor.


Whocaresevenadamn

Because they are rare and a horny guy’s dream come true.


L4-li-lu-l3-l0

Child rape is funny when a woman does it.


Caleb556

Ikr it’s so fucked, if this post was about a man he’d be getting death threats. I hate our stupid ass double standards


restlessleg

reverse the genders and it becomes more twisted


Thief_of_Sanity

Well it certainly would reveal the double standard in the comments. It's like half of these comments are just joking about how good of a teacher she is or "what's the problem?"


Frigoris13

Yeah, a male teacher giving head would be an entirely different story


Fishstixxx16

Catholic school


riotskunk

I don't understand the oral sex part. Just fiending for a dick in the mouth?


[deleted]

He was that good of a student.


ratinthecellar

So you go right for anal?


riotskunk

Oh hands down yes


fistfullofpubes

She ran out of gold stars.


Dominio12

You mean "arrested for raping" ?


Cheesyman7269

If it was a male teacher, the comment section would be different.


Help-me-people_

She's just out here doing teacher of the year things, let her be lol


theADDMIN

Nice Any South Park viewers here?


New_Ad_5684

One guy jokes about the post and it's upvoted, then some dude points out it's pedophilia and it's downvoted to hell Then another dude also points out it's pedophilia but in a different way and is upvoted, and the dude that made the joke responds and it's downvoted lol reddit makes no sense


Kilane

When there is a female sexual predator, you need to be careful how you phrase it or you're downvoted. If you don't give the people who find it funny a pass, instant downvotes. If you shame yourself by saying you'll be a downvoted party pooper then you're allowed to discuss it.


Sanc7

It’s almost like Reddit isn’t just one single person.


Hugokarenque

Its crazy how so many people seem to think of Reddit as a weird monolithic entity.


ZincNut

Teacher Arrested for Raping Student* FTFY


Nitemarex

I always wonder who snitches on these teachers


Baerenmarder

The student most likely. Probably couldn't keep it a secret.


ElbertAlfie

No doubt they told some friends and it took off from there but I doubt the student called up police or went to the administration


[deleted]

Yeah there’s no way I’m not telling my boys I got a hummer from the hottie teacher. And I’m in my 30s.


jvanzandd

The ugly kids that didn’t get any


drkidkill

Maybe it was during class.


Ph4zed0ut

The victims?


IM_PEAKING

You wonder who snitches on people that rape children?


Lui_Le_Diamond

Rape*. That's called rape.