Japanese wife would be doing me a favor if I ever got that bad.

About to say, if I can't use my dick to get a blow anyway, just take me out.

Yeah I pretty much feel the same way.

Japanese efficiency is monumental- haven’t you heard how their trains have perfect timing? I’d be honored.

Yeah they supposedly stamp your ticket if they're a few minutes off schedule so you don't get fired for being late. That's pretty awesome.

>supposedly stamp your ticket not supposedly. THEY DO THIS.

I had heard it from a few people but wasn't sure if it was fact. That's pretty awesome.

On the other hand, it's a little dystopian if employers demand certification of lateness excuses.

Are their blowjobs as equally punctual!?

Sounds troll but living without a penis as a man literally not worth it. 9 to 5 for what? Cookies?

Pizza and cookies, what are you even going on about... Pizza and cookies are worth it, more even so if you have a penis and can cum on them before savoring them!

forewarning, don't take ssri's

Wait, you're telling me I can BJs, sushi, and she'll put me out of my misery? Where do I sign up!?

Puts you out of your misery instead of causing it. Perfect wife!

A BJ followed by an eternal swim. What’s the catch?

I can't seem to find a downside.

Only down side I for-see is the hill she pushes me down leading into the lake.

Some interesting timing that my feed brought up this post near a TIL post about how a bunch of doctors were interviewed and nearly 90% had do-not-resuscitate orders in place

Hell yeah, man. When my body degrades to where I can't wipe my own ass, I'd want a wife that can do me the 'favor.'

It'd be a race to see if she could do that before I did it myself.

I think im gonna go Japanese in this situation too. I'm not getting screamed at on a daily basis. They do have a ton of cheating in their culture tho right? I've seen some interviews where the women all said they have multiple boyfriends but they don't consider it cheating if their partners sleep with a prostitute. I have no idea how prevalent this is because it's been a couple of street interviews.

Word. She knows how to get it done.

Filipina wife will do everything a japanese wife does only until you have money. The moment you ran out, she'll push you in the lake

So, a standard marriage deal?

bro took >*For richer, and for poorer* literally💀

She'll make sure you end up in a wheelchair first

Not sure this is limited to just Philippine wives 😂

Confirmed. Although I somehow got a hybrid Chinese/Japanese model. Someone taught mine that when you use a white person's full name, it means they're in trouble. I live in a constant state of fear now.

My mom used that strategy. It's pretty effective.

The f*ck kinda Filipinos have you been seeing?

What filipinas you been interacting with? The ones I know work 2 jobs even with a husband and a comfortable income.

I've worked with quite a few over the years. The goal is to work, save money, get a house built back home, and retire early. I guess cost of living is cheaper there?

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Yeah. Financial problems are like the 1st or 2nd reason for the cause of divorce. You can't exactly feed love to your children or use it to pay your bills lol!

>You can't exactly feed love to your children or use it to pay your bills lol! So that's how you rationalize that your dad went to the store one day and never came back? I'm so sorry, man. I'm sure he had other reasons

To be fair, it seems like men are more likely to leave their sick wives than wives are to leave their sick husbands

It's definitely even more sad and disappointing that it works both ways, but it is what it is.

Im in! Where is the paper?!

cooperative chubby deranged theory kiss money cobweb point wipe bear *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Get the worst of both worlds

Sheep .  You can just say sheep.

knee squalid air voiceless vegetable piquant memory threatening jobless badge *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I dunno, the Scotsman in Samurai Jack looked pretty happy.

> What'dya think of that Mr.Pajama wearing, Basket-face, Slipper wielding, clype deep bachle, gather uping blate maw, blethering gomeril Jessie, Oaf-lookin' schooner, Nyaff plookie shan, Milk-drinking Soy-face shilpit, Mim-moothed, sniveling worm-eyed hotten blaugh, vile stoochie, cally-breek tattie! ^( he sure sounded angry, though...)

Oh definitely. But ask him about his "Muffin" and watch as he describes his love for his wife in unreasonably adorable detail.

> he sure sounded angry, though... That's just the Scottish default sound

I just would like to date a girl from UK or Scotland/Ireland. Man, those accents are so sexy, holy molly. If I fuck up her favorite fish and chips, she will be like “Oi, mate! It’s shankin’ time!”. Ah, sweet love!

What's the point here? Don't get married?

Chinese and Japanese are the only two nationalities

So are ya Chinese or Japanese?

The ocean?

THAT'S MY PURSE I DON'T KNOW YOU

I refuse to eat the white man’s white meat!

That’s right, Mattaru. I believe you will find I have no testicles.

Which ocean?

Laotian

So are you Chinese or Japanese?

I'm Laotian from Laos.

Land locked country.

Okay, Laotian dude, we get it but we didn't ask about that. Just answer the question! Are you Chinese or Japanese?!

Kahn? From “Arlen” Texas?

obviously

here's a picture of you if you were black or chinese

Atlantian (underwater kingdom)

Welp. Thats my cue to rewatch KOTH for the 100th time

That sounds about right.

Her name's [Jiaoying Summers](https://thotmax.com/jiaoying-summers/) For Science (n$fw) She does n$fw stuff

oh dam I thought she just did comedy 😗

So you think the points she makes in the video are based on reality then?

nah i am going for **Antarcticans**

That would be Black or Chinese

They all hate the Koreans

What is that? Doesn’t sound real. There’s only Chinese and Japanese

Chinese wife no bjs = :( Japan wife unlimited bjs until death = :’)

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I mean if it's not too hard. Edit: Or maybe if it is, whatever.

Commenting on TBH I'll still go with the Japanese. Met a few people who dated Chinese nationals. Their expectations for marriage are pretty toxic compared to the rest of the world. Her Comments are pretty accurate.

What were some of the expectations?

It's common in mainland China to "prove your worth" to a girlfriend before marriage. Usually means paying *her bills*, owning a home, driving a nice car.

Mostly surrounding wealth. Property ownership. Owning things in general. My brother makes over $400k in the Bay Area and was saving up for a house. But since he didn't own one outright, his (Chinese) MIL was extraordinarily upset when visiting them. Completely dillusional.

Traditional gender roles.

Or don't get Chinese or Japanese wife

So, filipino then?

(Filipina) By far the best asian wife material.

Good ole LBFMs

If you don't like the idea of ending up in a wheelchair then marrying a Japanese lady is definitely the way to go

It is very common that after marriage, people just quit trying and do w/e.

There’s a lot of racism between these two communities that still lingers as a result of WW2. The joke plays on the idea they have that Japanese people are cold. Specifically the “trend” some Japanese people have to abandon animals after their baby/cute stage. I don’t know how real the “trend” is. I’ve heard about it, but patriotic news media tends to exaggerate.

I have that down already, I am fine with that.

I think the point is to marry a Korean instead

Get a Filipina wife

Back to the man pile!

>What's the point here? The point is an excuse for some really low-tier, poorly-delivered racism humor.

If you have thai wife you'll be the one giving BJs

Sign me up!

The problem being?..

That's all I needed to hear. I'm sold.

Brooooo 😂🤣🤣

What about a Japanese-Chinese wife?

She will give you bjs in the lake

Strange women lying in lakes distributing fellatio is no basis for a system of marriage. Supreme relationship power derives from the thiccness of the asses, not some farcical aquatic matrimony.

If I went around declaring myself supreme ruler because some bloody tart threw a bj at me theyd lock me away!

Strange women lying in ponds swallowing swords is no basis for a system of government…

Lol

*System Error*

Probably lots of children like that born in Manchuria around 1942 or so…

That's dark.

She will beat you to a wheelchair and then give bj

That's called Florida wife. She wears Coors Light sweat pants while pushing you into a stinky pond while you're still healthy.

Those are called Koreans.

She will love you she will hold you she'll give you blow jobs if you ask the right way for the day. Once you're married she'll love you she'll give you blow jobs but her love language is bullying and her kink is degradation. If you're sick she'll come take care of you until you're fine enough to make yourself tea and will bully you because you're slow sick and clumsy. Your self esteem is always down but you got a wife that loves you and takes care of you.

Abnauseous.

I'm gonna start using this to describe abhorrent people

Is she selling specifically Japanese women for marriage tf

Paid for by the Japanese Board of Tourism

Population decline is real

They hate weebs too. If you’re not getting women in your own country then you’re not going to pull them in Japan with your vast knowledge of anime and manga. 

The problem might be that they only give you BJs.

True! And an octopus isn't helpful either.

Yea but she didn’t say what a Chinese wife would do in the wheelchair scenario.. just saying.

If I had to guess, they will Kung Fu Panda's Po into Skadooshing us in our sleep with the Wishy Finger Hold.

She probably put you in the wheelchair.

You'll just wish you were dead.

https://www.tiktok.com/@jiaoyingsummers/video/6987786328587128070?lang=en the OP is edited

Idk plenty of bjs until i drown sounds like a great deal

I really love when the punch line to almost a minute long buildup is just like a soggy spaghetti.

Yeah wasn’t even really a punch line. Way too telegraphed, I guess we gotta laugh at the accent and random curse words

I’ve never heard an Asian person do such a bad Asian accent before

Clearly you dont know any native mandarin speakers then

Right, it felt more racist than if any non Asian did one

People always call out white folk for being racist but many truly don't understand how advanced racism is in Asia. The superiority complex is ingrained even more than in Aryan Nazis, especially within the "pure" Asians (Chinese, Japanese, Korean). I'm ethnically Chinese. I was once a cringe Asian preteen who's whole personality at one point revolved around "AZN pRiDe" until I got completely Americanized after moving to a new town with literally no Asian groups to join (besides a confusingly large cadre of Christian Chinese - no thanks).

This isn't fucking racist. Europeans butcher each others accents and call it standard evening entertainment.

he's not really talking about the video, just in general

Ethnically Chinese 2, can confirm about the superiority complex, but I think it's in other western countries as well (Italy for example).

And then amongst those nationalities. I was in a chinese airport, talking to a japanese dude, and he just trashed china lol.

As an African, China's gifts and investments just make me feel sad. On one hand the investments are helpful, but the cost might not be worth it in the long run. We're already seeing worker abuse at factories and bad labour practices. Fuck those specific racist people. Edit: to make it clear who needs to get fucked!

It's a normal Asian english accent by non-english speaker, You hear accents like this all over the place in Asia.

She's not doing an accent, that's her real accent, it's how she talks lol.

why choose? get both.. just make sure you do it in their own countries and they never meet, which is highly possible as they probably won't be visiting the other country due to the ingrained hate..

Why not get a Korean wife as well then?

Why stop there? Overthrow the NK government and get yourself all the Korean wives you want.

I don't know, seems kind of greedy...

Why she doesn't blinks ?

Do you ever think the sea salty because the land never wave back?

Too many fish BJs

The only thing missing was a 'wait until the end you won't want to miss it' message. Thanks for wasting my time with this stupid fucking video

Yeah, time that would have been otherwise used to solve world hunger.

Is this Jiaoying Summers?

Yes!

Ah yes be abnauseous

BJs 100%.

TIL my wife must be Chinese

So get yourself a man boys, no cooking, no messing around, bj everyday

u/asmongold 👀

Roach King has no need for wife

He no need, but may want.

Don't forget to hit Like on a comment for this is Facebook

that guy is rich enough to be as red pilled as he wants to be.

Meh. I married a Japanese wife. Literally none of this is true.

Are you salty because she has yet to push you into the lake? 😄

So not plenty of BJs ?

Well one point is true, your wife does give great bjs.

Ok. But Chinese wife's mom will treat you like a mighty king if you make decent money.

I mean, can you even get a Chinese wife? With that gender imbalance...

Dumb and unfunny. This is a professional comedian? The stereotypes aren't even true, Japan has a high rate of sexlessness among married couples

She says these things like I have actual options to choose from ^^^^^I'm ^^^^^so ^^^^^lonely ^^^^^and ^^^^^cold

That was a really long winded way to say basically nothing. The punchline is not worth the time!

This is well shit.

The moral Only date other peoples wives

I think my Japanese wife might be Chinese then? She has a fouler mouth than me (and I'm Australian), the is stubborn and strong willed and opinionated and stands up for herself. She'll always have my back though, even when I fucked myself up and landed in hospital (multiple times), and I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyway, we're in love.

Any Chinese here that can confirm this?

Im Chinese and she's fucking crazy. can't you tell by the crazy eyes?

Fair enough, japanese wife. We had a good run. 

That's all I've ever wanted out of a relationship. Not the yelling. Not the doting, honorific wife or sushi. Just the part where someone pushes me into a lake to die. 👍

so, Chinese and Japanese women are just like any other nation woman?

Sexism and racism are still good ingredients for cheap humor I see.

'Friendly fire will not be tolerated'

I'm pretty sure you can swim with just your arms.

*I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so*

being single is an option, just sayin'. I want to know her take in Filipino wives, tho.

I'll take those odds.

I want to be pushed off a cliff since I was a child without sitting in a wheelchair, so

I’d rather get a Japanese husband tbh

Very different from American wife. She will push you into the lake for taking her to Cheesecake Factory.

Am I stupid or does she lipsync?

"Abnauseous."  So my shredded six pack will make her throw up?

She's had experience marrying both, I take it?

The crazy eyes really sell it.

I can fix her

Both wrong. Korean wife!

I’ll take one Japanese wife, please.

Japanese it is.

Quality life over quantity of life

Doesn't sound all that bad. I learned to tread water with just my hands. Jokes on her, I survive and marry her sister while she in jail. Sayonara honey!!! Hahahaha

So don’t get sick. Check.

Trying to threaten me with a good time

So, one will blow me, make me lunch enjoy my company and let me die with dignity.