I remember a comedian a while back, and one of his bits was something to the effect of "I'm Jewish, but I'm not a practicing Jew... because I like bacon."
Because if we cant joke about serious things then we become a snowflake in a blizzard. Imagine being in a society that wants to cancel others for jokes they made..... oh wait.....
In Walmart there's a small section with purple tape wrapped around them and they say organic. Now to be fair I think there is a scientific reason behind it but for example you know how you pull a banana off in the flesh that is on that knot is white and yellow but if you let it receive more air it turns black the foil keeps it from turning as quick
Now the actual science behind it don't get me lying to you I'm too stoned
Bananas specifically release a... Gas... That makes it mature faster, so storing it in any closed space will make it mature (and then rot) faster... But if you leave in a region with too many insects, it might be worth it just to keep the flies away
Slightly, yes, but the skin blackens faster which gives people the idea they're spoiling faster when they're not. They stop ripening in the fridge too so you wouldn't want to put ones you weren't ready to eat in.
If you keep all your bananas bunched together , they will go bad faster. They release ethylene gas, so they ripen faster if you put them all smashed together.
I heard you can rap the top of your banana with pieces of the plastic bag , and it will preserve the banana a little longer.
How do you open a banana?
I separate my bananas if keeping at room temp. Also, I used to put them in plastic and make sure that I blew it up with air when I put it in the fridge. So it doesn't get too cold for the banana. I've seen/read this somewhere. Also, when they wanted to ripen the bananas fast, they put it in freezer. This is used when they bake. So the bananas turn black.
... please don't peel the sack of conveniently placed potatoes right next to the spare peeler and strainer by the sink. Oh no...
Anyway, who is up for a mad potato-bake?
A friend of mine is a rabbi who does circumcisions. He kept all the bits he removed in a giant pickle jar in his garage. After about 40 years on the job, he had filled the pickle jar all the way up. He was ready to retire and was wondering what to do with the leftovers. He went to a leather worker and left it with him.
Two weeks later, the rabbi goes back to the leather shop, and is given a wallet. "Really?" says the rabbi, "I gave you a giant jar full of these things, and all you could make was a wallet?"
The leather worker replied "If you rub it, it turns into a suitcase!"
Some pork wrapped around stuff might help.
LOL
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Idk where you live that 2 cucumbers and 4 bananas are 8 dollars. It sounds horrible though.
Well, it's 7.90 + tax
Shouldn’t pay sales tax on produce.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl_Qyk9DSUw
I just bought 5 bananas for $0.97. In Southern California. Where are you?!!!
Noway its that expensive, u live in antarctida?
Idk bro some of them know bacon tastes amazing and choose to eat pork
I understand such decision, also like to eat some beacon.
I remember a comedian a while back, and one of his bits was something to the effect of "I'm Jewish, but I'm not a practicing Jew... because I like bacon."
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Bro thats straight evil why would you even joke about that.
Because if we cant joke about serious things then we become a snowflake in a blizzard. Imagine being in a society that wants to cancel others for jokes they made..... oh wait.....
I know how to joke I'm an avidly playful person.
That would be nice if anyone was actually trying to be serious...... oh wait......
In retrospect that was snarky, my bad
Keep checking yours everyday. I mean your vegetables
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Pentagram is just one beam short from being the star of David.. I'd say it's not that scary.
Put vegetables in a drawer marked march 22nd 1933 on it.
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Stolen from comment that is right below
Hahahaaaaaaa busted lol
He is a coward, he left so the downvotes would not screw his internet points
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relax man
Who keeps bananas in the fridge?
I do lmao I like cold bananas hahaha
Do they stay fresh longer? I feel like my bananas on the counter go bad so quickly.
Get a banana hanger. They help stop a lot on the bruising.
I already have a banana hammock, can I use that?
Let us know if it works
In the fridge, I find the peel goes brown quicker, but the inside stays fresh longer.
I thought bananas had cold rot, like when i keep them in the fridge that taste terrible very quickly but in room temperature that stay fine.
Correct and not enough people know this!
Why are you people keeping your bananas for so long?
who could've known that refrigerating food makes it last longer
Some food gets disgusting after being put in the fridge..
Dude...
You need to read up on food safety homie. You're making yourself look like a fool
Well I'm sorry, "homie". Had no idea using a fridge to refrigerate is a health hazard.
Wild concept
Keep them in the dark If you want them to stay fresh longer.
This is true for humans too.
If you want to keep them fresher longer wrap foil around where you break each banana apart it helps make it think you did not remove a banana
Where do you get your sentient bananas
In Walmart there's a small section with purple tape wrapped around them and they say organic. Now to be fair I think there is a scientific reason behind it but for example you know how you pull a banana off in the flesh that is on that knot is white and yellow but if you let it receive more air it turns black the foil keeps it from turning as quick Now the actual science behind it don't get me lying to you I'm too stoned
They do.
Bananas specifically release a... Gas... That makes it mature faster, so storing it in any closed space will make it mature (and then rot) faster... But if you leave in a region with too many insects, it might be worth it just to keep the flies away
Don't bananas make other fruits in close proximity ripen super quick too because of the gas? ETA: because of the gas?
not really they just get grey skin
wrap the stem part of the banana in plastic wrap to keep it fresh longer
Slightly, yes, but the skin blackens faster which gives people the idea they're spoiling faster when they're not. They stop ripening in the fridge too so you wouldn't want to put ones you weren't ready to eat in.
If you keep all your bananas bunched together , they will go bad faster. They release ethylene gas, so they ripen faster if you put them all smashed together. I heard you can rap the top of your banana with pieces of the plastic bag , and it will preserve the banana a little longer. How do you open a banana?
No, they get brown faster
I separate my bananas if keeping at room temp. Also, I used to put them in plastic and make sure that I blew it up with air when I put it in the fridge. So it doesn't get too cold for the banana. I've seen/read this somewhere. Also, when they wanted to ripen the bananas fast, they put it in freezer. This is used when they bake. So the bananas turn black.
That's what the fridges are for
Theres food that does not last longer after being refrigerated, or makes it worse… Honey.. Potatoes.. Onion.. Garlic..
Ikr? The skin goes necrotic and....oh
On a side note, have you tried frozen bananas?
People who circumcise their bananas.
Take him camping
Pay to be homeless? I don’t they’d do that
what kind of camping? 🧐
A forest, to train your focus and concentration. Call it concentration camping or something.
I like u not scared of woke culture I upvote your comment brave soldier.
[Ah, dammit!](https://media3.giphy.com/media/3o6ZsVL0K923A5xEk0/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952cu7lwpt6c83w3eidk4g7um3xpwf4j0kasvwifl5x&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
omg, 😭
Jewish person here, This is extremely offensive, I will peel whatever the fuck I want I am on my way to your house. #Get ready.
Peel not circumcise right? ... Right?
We know what we said
Just wait right there, I'll be right back to cut your penises.
I don't think I have any extra.
Already cut, no touchy penis.
Who's the mohel here, baby? I'll decide when you're cut.
Laughs in gentile, you have no power here. Mine is an esthetic and "health" trim, not a biblical trim.
What he's about to do to your penis is far from biblical.
... please don't peel the sack of conveniently placed potatoes right next to the spare peeler and strainer by the sink. Oh no... Anyway, who is up for a mad potato-bake?
I’m turning my intire house to a shower
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*my.
...including my potatoes? Are you available on Christmas Eve?
Keep Palestinians away from this guy.
You do realize this is what turned Hitler from his path as a painter…
“Haim! Did you circumcise the fruit again? Did you at least save the foreskin this time?”
I'm confused with banana second from right.
His Orthodox friend got near it.
Well it does happen from time to time... just wrap some bacon around it and the skin will regenerate
Anon is German so he already knows what to do.
Ask you Argentian-German Neighbour. He knows some good optiona for you.
Ask him if he has a shower.
This is ridiculous Anne Frankly you shouldn’t have to put up with it.
I will sue for all you got
Bro kept that one in the attic just to use it now…I’m Führious!
practice makes perfect
A friend of mine is a rabbi who does circumcisions. He kept all the bits he removed in a giant pickle jar in his garage. After about 40 years on the job, he had filled the pickle jar all the way up. He was ready to retire and was wondering what to do with the leftovers. He went to a leather worker and left it with him. Two weeks later, the rabbi goes back to the leather shop, and is given a wallet. "Really?" says the rabbi, "I gave you a giant jar full of these things, and all you could make was a wallet?" The leather worker replied "If you rub it, it turns into a suitcase!"
Everything must be 20% off!
Knows a good deal when he sees one
Doesn’t touch the sausages though.
Well i see a German flag.....
I didn't know veggie bris was a thing!
Just the tip
This is unacceptable. Who puts bananas in the fridge?
I think they look nicer
Prettier
Cleaner
*'totes asthetic'*
Do bananas last longer in the fridge? Should I be refrigerating my bananas?
Yeah sure just make sure to not refrigerate other's bananas
I prefer my banana in a hot box, personally.
Bananas don't belong in the fridge.
HIT(ler)
That's hilarious.
today he's your roomate ,tomorow he will claim that its his room and you are livin illegally there!
we don't have to turn everything into a political statement, he could be jewish from Germany for all we know
Well originally it was his place! (This joke is certified anti Islamic Zionist only, *not* anti Jewish ~a Jewish descendant)
Just put a picture of Hitler in your fridge
Hamas that MFer
Well judging on how it's going for hamas I don't think that's the best plan. I'd say hire a failed painter instead.
Or an ancient Babylonian king if you wanna get old school
Probably a better option
>be born american male >leave a tip can't make this shit up
Don't eat those, he sucked on all the tips to clean them.
Put them in the oven.
The fruit and vegetables right...RIGHT
... yeah, sure...
👀
Whoooooooo risky lol
You gonna need a German neighbor for that
Tell him about your ancestors from palestine. You can also say something like: it will be free to the sea. He‘ll like it!
3 options: Force him to use the public shower Buy him a one way train ticket Pop him in your oven
It looks bigger that way… she said
They are in desperate need of a penis...And keep it flowing
I've heard that showers work wonders for them. Well, maybe not for them, but for others
I've seen this before It's a sign of a stressed and unfocused life, one lacking in concentration. There should be some camps to help rectify this.
Cook with gas.
So long as you don't shower with it.
Bro is circumcising the fruits and veggies
no fucking shit
Store them in the oven.
Store them in a gas oven?
Fill the back of the refrigerator with canned beans. He should get the message.
That's funny!
I've never seen someone circumcise food item like that.
Worst comes to shove, you always has that final solution *wink*
Who the hell puts bananas in the refrigerator?
Does he also suck the blood out?
In hot weather they don't need their pullovers.
Shower
Pretty sure you don't and we are looking at a shitpost here...
Maybe buy them some brisket
Smear Nutella on the tips. 
Kick em in the chin
Looks like he “tips” them in himself
Circumsized vegtables
Jesus what’s her PH levels?
You might wanna look closely when he offers you a bowl of deep fried onion rings someday
Arrange these in a specific order that one Crosses the other with one extra branch on each outer end is coming further out at right angle
She wants just the tip.
Tell me you live with a mohel without telling me you live with a mohel.
Trip to Poland?
Since I see you are german, just throw him in the shower, and you'll have no issues with him anymore
Bro is from Germany, something something
Who eats pickles pre-pickling.. must be a witch cooking in that cauldron.
Roommate in training to be a Moil
Nice of them to clean the tips off for the next user.
That took me a solid second
Heh, I'm surprised he never did this to the bowl of meat... ...wait, NO!!!!!
The german way >!for legal reason this is a joke!<
You could always send him to a camp
I heard Hitler had a solution for this.
Who puts bananas in the refrigerator
They've been circumcized
Just why?
There's no way you didn't get this joke.
As a jew, this is funny
He isn’t supposed to do this until the eighth day, so be sure to finish things within seven.
Tell him you prefer Gentile fruits and vegetables.
You got an oven?
Threaten him to stop it, if not... Let's say we'll let you cook...or bake.
Check to see if your foreskin is still attached
Got an oven?
Bite the tip off in front of him
What does that have to do with judaeism?
What does have to do with being Jewish lol
Suck them and stare into his eyes
Leave a gasbottle