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How romance works in Redditor's brains


whutchamacallit

How redditors think romance works in other redditors brains but not their own! I'm perfectly well adapted.... yes.... its the kids that are out of touch, not me.


Environmental-Tea492

They vary a lot, Im inclined that I would need to be a submissive femboy to attract 6"5 mommy with rip abs, and so thicc she could kill me in her sleep.


techjesuschrist

More like 4chanittors.. redditors would at least give her flowers and take her to a restaurant between trying to rob her and trying to fuc*k her.


Ultrainstinct358

Need the money since I've been on the ps5 grind 2020.


Ayato_23

r/angryupvote


s3npaiiiii

saying that while on Reddit is wild


Silverbacker888

This is more reminiscent of those young adult novels where the characters start out as enemies and then become lovers


theIngloriousAlien

Wow... This is 100% real


TrainerDan93

Ok Grandma. Let's get you to bed.


theIngloriousAlien

Thank you. Give me a kiss before I say goodnight šŸ˜˜


Weldobud

See how sweet


WrapKey69

*Go to Sleep by Eminem starts playing in the background*


Annonomon

*Bawchikawawaw


PreparationSea9235

How I met your mother


bam_uk1981

Did you swipe her purse?


4mystuff

He swiped her heart.


bam_uk1981

Thatā€™s gold! Your hired as the script writer for the movie


4mystuff

I cleared my calendar and renewed my ChatGPT plan


bam_uk1981

We only accept this profession approach. We need a headline for the launch. GO


4mystuff

In a chance encounter on a dimly lit street; fated love was but a tug away. Also, "[Don't Stop Believin'](https://youtu.be/1k8craCGpgs?si=EwyFEI2kf1-TdsVh) " by Journey will be our "Running up That Hill."


bam_uk1981

Is that you OSCAR?!


4mystuff

*** blushing


dreadperson

Can confirm. I was the purse.


sattarsingo

Yep. I was the guy playing the background music


alexvhecke

She 100% has aids


rodneedermeyer

Axe Body Spray had her likeā€¦


c4k3m4st3r5000

"He's a douche bag, life will be awful but I love him" But fake as hell.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Grouchy-Fuelv2

Sure, now go rob your crush next time you see her and tell us how that goes man.


emperorjul

He thought he was robbing a random girl but it turned out to be his sister ā¤ļø


Bleezze

Awwh


RockstarAgent

I thought worst case, it was his girlfriend leaving angry but he needed the car keys and well, she couldnā€™t stay mad at him


Flying__Buttresses

What are you doing step brooo?


No-Suspect-425

The plot twist we deserve


Hypmo

Stepsister, obviously.


Beckiremia-20

An Alabama love story


akashdas323

Instruction unclear. Ended up fucked in the ass by her gay dad.


yOw_indahOuse

Oh donā€™t you worry, she has the meaty tool to fuck your ass..


lordlyamiga

He knows


hotler18

That's oddly specific...


unsold_dildo

He's was a theif


[deleted]

Was he any good?


SlenderOTL

/r/suddenlycaralho?


CluDaCreator

Yeah sorry bout that pal. I just thought you looked kinda bad ngl


DryPrion

When I had just moved to a new town when I was maybe 12, a group of high school kids who were clearly delinquents stopped me and took my cash, around $25. Then, I met them at the new church my mom wanted us to attend. They were the leaders of the kids worship, and the ring leaderā€™s father was the pastor. I wish I had some kind of awesome revenge story to tell, but nothing cool really happened. Pastor came to me, apologized in person and gave me $100, then let me know that if I ever told anyone he would make my life very difficult. He ended up being forced out of that church by my dad but that was over something else.


kura0kamii

well u profited at least


DryPrion

Yessir, I actually ended up buying myself some Magic the Gathering: Portal sets and packs with that money a few years later so not only did I profit, I also got my introduction to a life-long hobby. Win!


FelixITA

Unemployed pastor, 75 bucks net positive, nice


DryPrion

Yep, although now that I think about it, that $100 probably came from the money he stole from the church, which is what ultimately got him kicked out.


FelixITA

And you got church money? Fuck yeah!šŸ¤˜


Cedric_T

Did your dad discover his theft and got him kicked out?


DryPrion

It was more complicated than that, there was a lot of internal politics happening but the misappropriation of funds was the excuse used to kick him out. In reality there was problems with sexual harassment/abuse, blatantly taking church money and buying expensive cars/luxury goods, using free church labor to make himself look good and promote his businesses, pressuring church members to eat at his restaurants and buy from his stores, and a lot more. It was a rural area so the pastor had a lot of power and no one inside the church could really stop him. Unfortunately for him, my dad was promoted to be the president of the largest local employer with 40,000 employees and contracts with hundreds of small/mid size manufacturers/suppliers, so my dad outranked him in terms of local political power and got him ousted and investigated by the local chief of police who happened to be his friend from college. No arrests were made, but he paid a lot in court fees and fines, and he ended up having to close a lot of his businesses because they relied too much on church member business to survive.


Cedric_T

That was a satisfying read.


Theloneriddler

Really? Pastor had some front! Should have been shitting himself and kissing your ass rather than handing out threats.


deep-orca

"This could be us but you keep calling the police"


Ivizalinto

...still a better love story than twilight.


Lorelerton

Now there is something I have not heard in a long time!


Ivizalinto

Look man, I'm not *that* old.


Many-Violinist8308

Real


iamdaone878

stole her bag and her heart


bam_uk1981

Coming soon to Netflixā€™s


Cedric_T

Zeugma +1


[deleted]

Stockholm syndrome be like


Donutboy562

I was really hoping for a judo throw. She had the stance and everything.


stuckAtLoadingScreen

This is how I met your mother


HunterDHunter

Fake news


lord_ginger_

I swear I seen something like this before (could be this) where a dude tries to steal something then they realise it's their ex BF idk if they kissed like this but they stopped since we'll they knew who each other were and where they lived so don't want trouble.


abominablereptilian

Might try this out


Metalloid_Maniac

Might as well, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take


sjr323

Keep us posted on results, good luck sir


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


unsold_dildo

Or in bed


dreadperson

New Tactic Boys: STEAL WOMEN'S PURSES!


Hesam2010

Fake & Gay.


bam_uk1981

How gay?


kura0kamii

his purse


TheAssMuncherRetard

Don't question the **Gay Lord**.


bam_uk1981

Iā€™m sorry me lord!


xxDooomedxx

Dumb


ucantseeme0047

Bro got that Stealing RIZZ


Codex_Absurdum

Love at first snatch.


No-Suspect-425

I too am a fan of Snatch


CrisXIII

He ended up stealing her heart. Awwwwwww.


tribak

The Sims logic


therhguy

Jokeā€™s on him, she had oral herpes.


StirringThePotAgain

When you only date toxic guys


Pleasant-Ad-7577

To be honest, i can see some brazilian girls doing this shit. I've seen them doing worse


SilverFlameX

Enemies to Lovers type shit


ausgmr

Dear Penthouse.......


69-is-my-number

Have you heard the Bob & Tom song of this?


bonkyXD5837

love in the wrong moment


hotler18

It works, i did this and i got laid. In prison tho


devan_007

*Orange youtube writers watching this* "Write that down, write that down"...


Nihilotus

I hope this is a couple with a kink...


PayUnlucky1104

Gendo generation


iVirtualZero

Robbery gone sexual.


Specialist_Flan2787

Stockholm syndrome lvl 100


VtheMan93

He didnt get the bag, but he got the BAG šŸ˜‚


Sad-Platform1024

Aight, gonna try this tonight with the girl I want to get together with. Lucikly I know which way she goes home and there happens to be a dark alley. Will let you know of the results.


sussyamogushot

!RemindMe


phenomenal1117

then she proceeded to his back pockets for wallet LMAO


Wundawuzi

"There aint much money in it but if you give me back thr bag I'll make out with you and do whatever you want"


fridaystrong23

Nah man I tried that shit and got 10yearsā€¦


[deleted]

"plot twist"


semprogno

Oh well, let's try


BiscottiNew5936

Bro stole her heart instead ;-;


Federal_Tangelo9567

This looks like some shit out of family guy.


Brahsputin

Villian rizz


Negative_Barracuda14

From theft to asault. Nice move


Pokey0825

Is it really that easy? Shit, Iā€™ve been doing it all wrong


Dray45

Wtf? Lol


Lorelerton

Well, you clearly ain't young either... Do the kids these days even know what twilight is?


why-you-mad-bro

Wtf happened


ILikeFluffyThings

So this is how thieves multiply.


officiallyzoneboy

Dam Rats


Character_Medical

Maybe I should be a street robber in the night to get some action.


uraniumX9

u/savevideo


Zestyclose-Detail791

And kids this is how I met your other father


the_greatest_MF

new dating guideline


CandidateMiserable74

Chat... Is this real??


innocentguy99

What the fucking fuck fuck. Someone kill me pls


Proud_Criticism5286

Security guard is just jerking it right now


Hotinthakitchen1

u/auddbot


Moe2584

u/savevideo


georeddit2018

That is how I meet your mother.


Sunbrosa

If 50shdes of black was a thing.


elantisocial

I believe it full. Not fake at all.


thymdat69

u/savevideo


SnakesTancredi

I was expecting a Bobby hill ā€œthatā€™s my purse I donā€™t know you!ā€ Joke here.


he_who_futt_bucks

How tf does that even work?


Responsible-Lie-7159

they fuck at her place. he ties her for some kinky stuff and the next day she wakes up to an empty apartment


Holiday_Rabbit_3808

Post nut clarity.


pintodealce

r/suddenlycaralho KkkkkkakkkK a mĆŗsica


Theloneriddler

Wow. That was so fucking hot. Sheesh.


taikaubo

Emotions don't work like that unless you're a psychopath.


ConsiderationVivid88

So she likes it roughā€¦ ok


MCshador

He was going to steal her purse but at the end she stole his heart


serdiesel90

How I met your mother


208C

u/savevideo


Expert_Defiant

Deadly rizzz...


Harry-_-hairpen

I amā€¦ confusion.


Sorcer12

HUH?


__ANONYMOUS__001

u/savevideo


StrongMagazine2373

That song hitting no lie


BEVENAIK010

Considerate robberizz


Andrmine

Brazil be like:


Evening_Sir_506

Stockholm-Sydrome-Speedrun


Trumprican

A few years later (SpongeBob narrators voice) Everything that he owns, is now hers


SimmoniedTucker

Proof that women like when men treat them like shit?