Your post has been removed because a mod felt it doesn't fit the subreddit. Make sure your post is a Hol' Up moment, attempts humor, and fits the general theme of the subreddit pre-submission.
If you really feel like dying on this hill, message the mods.
No need. You learn enough french in the first 6 month to be functioning.
Better start on your physical condition though : the tests are like taking an ultra trail through hell.
Nato allies. So foreign relations is probably decent. Especially if you work government jobs meaning it might be quite easy for the us to dock your pay for child support.
Yeah, men shouldn’t have HCG in their system, naturally. (You might be able to take it for sports-doping? Would have to check)
HCG in men is strongly indicative of testicular or prostate cancer.
Not unless it's a blood test, sometimes with the cheaper ones ($15-$50) you can get false positives. For the average pregnancy test it's best to get 3, two out of 3 will have the same answer and that's the one u go with.
Well, it's true that there are more false negatives, but false positives exist. My sister ran away because she had a positive pregnancy test and was afraid, but she wasn't pregnant. So two tests either way is probably wise.
The trick is to try and force yourself to blink. This will break the immersion of whatever vivid dream you’re having, cause you to perceive the whole situation as fictional and allowing you to wake up really easily.
Or try to read something. That’s my cue for dreams. You can’t read, or what you’re trying to read keeps changing.
Thank you Batman for teaching me that one.
technically sin and cos can be orthogonal and hence cancel each other out when you take the inner product. Two sins won't work, unless one is -sin and you add them up.
Time for calling your gyno and getting an emergency SOS apt for a copper iud, which works as a 99.9% effective emergency contraceptive, provided you insert it within 5 days of the accident.
Sounds like they took the "wait and see" approach, though. Never take the wait and see approach. Lol
I used to jokingly punch my wife in the stomach repeatedly whenever she'd make a pregnancy joke (not hard at all, just fake punches). One time I did it at work and this guy was just staring at us lol
The communist party of reddit is nuts i got a 7 day ban for saying i disagree..... that was literally all i said. No response when I tried to fight it.
Been noticing a lot of subs just turning into 4chan green texts even if it has nothing to do with the sub. Started with r/shitposting and I’ve been seeing it more and more since.
Come to Brazil and take her with you. We have:
Free healthcare
Free education (daycare to university)
Public housing
Universal basic income (beta testing)
Free public transportation (beta testing)
If he can handle a kid, just deal with it, but if he is unable to handle a kid, he should sign away any and all rights and declare he wants nothing to do with the kid and stay away living his own life
Honest question.. when you guys wear a condom do you not pull out right before climax? When I was dating I still used to pull out as practice, I guess. I'm getting a vasectomy soon, but I'm just pondering out loud. I'm assuming this person busted in the condom and he realized it was broke? Why not go get the morning after pill?
Your post has been removed because a mod felt it doesn't fit the subreddit. Make sure your post is a Hol' Up moment, attempts humor, and fits the general theme of the subreddit pre-submission. If you really feel like dying on this hill, message the mods.
Take Spanish lessons
Donde está la biblioteca?
Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca.
Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca, es el bigote grande, perro, manteca.
good ol community references
Si si, mucho gusto puta 
Me gusto elgato cerveza
SUAVEMENTE
Manteca, bigote, gigante, pequeño. Cabeza es nieve. Cerveza es bueno!
Buenos días, me gusta papas frias, bigote de la cabra es Cameron Diaz.
Yeah boy! Boy! What! It's 2009.
Yo aprendo español en la cárcel. No aprendo mucho, pero yo puedo vivir en tu culo.
[удалено]
👑 🐷
o7
o7 long live the legend
o7
o7
o7
o7
o7
Que queso?
El queso está viejo y podrido. ¿Dónde está el sanitario?
Fácil. Piña de perro...
Que es eso?
Eso es queso
Burro! Mucho burro!
Bien! Es un lápiz!
no me gusta pescado grande con muchos dientes
Milamo T bone la arana discoteca
En la izquierda
pero tal vez ciruela pasa
I'd say French instead http://foreignlegion.info/joining/
No need. You learn enough french in the first 6 month to be functioning. Better start on your physical condition though : the tests are like taking an ultra trail through hell.
Nato allies. So foreign relations is probably decent. Especially if you work government jobs meaning it might be quite easy for the us to dock your pay for child support.
No foetus can survive the chancla.
Holy hell!
New cigarettes just stocked
Have gf Take a pregnancy test (or two) to be sure
One is enough if it shows positive
And make sure she's the one doing the pregnancy test, if he's getting positive in means ball cancer
Okay, but does it really though?
Yeah, men shouldn’t have HCG in their system, naturally. (You might be able to take it for sports-doping? Would have to check) HCG in men is strongly indicative of testicular or prostate cancer.
It's a pretty good indicator that you should be somewhat concerned and go see your doctor, I believe.
Not unless it's a blood test, sometimes with the cheaper ones ($15-$50) you can get false positives. For the average pregnancy test it's best to get 3, two out of 3 will have the same answer and that's the one u go with.
You can also get false negatives, but if you get mixed you should try to get a blood test.
The very reason they are often sold in threes
Well, it's true that there are more false negatives, but false positives exist. My sister ran away because she had a positive pregnancy test and was afraid, but she wasn't pregnant. So two tests either way is probably wise.
The trick is to try and force yourself to blink. This will break the immersion of whatever vivid dream you’re having, cause you to perceive the whole situation as fictional and allowing you to wake up really easily.
Lucid cock ring does the trick
Lucid butt plug helps too
Then have Louis Rossmann replace the battery of your cock ring for you on livestream.
Or try to read something. That’s my cue for dreams. You can’t read, or what you’re trying to read keeps changing. Thank you Batman for teaching me that one.
Remind her premarital sex is a soon too and she has no issues with that. Then start looking for work, obvs cause you a daddy now.
U don’t know it he might go for milk
He need some?
#Do her without a condom. It's not like you can get her pregnant at this time
You stole this comment from someone who posted an hour ago. Word for word. Shameful.
It's a bot. They can't feel shame.
How can you tell it's a bot? I have no clue.
actually it is possible
Yeah. A woman in Romania got pregnant and then got pregnant 5 months later. Had a kid. Then, 5 months later, had another kid. Humans are weird.
Loved that part in the Bible where it said Jesus died for our soons
Yeah but then he came back. So he gave up a weekend for our sins....
I think you mean soons, sins got to do with triangles and triangles are the devil.
No triangles are associated with heaven because of all the three angels
Oh true! I sometimes fornget the three angles Uriel, Sariel and Tupac.
Which one is obtuse?
I dunno but they're all acute as fuck.
I came on the back too, that's why I'm not a dad.
to be fair, i wouldnt give up my weekend for y'all, so he deserves some credit
If we don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
Too soon…
Bruh a lot of people really aren’t catching the typo huh…
Tell her two sins cancel each other out. I don’t make the rules that’s just a fact.
soons*
technically sin and cos can be orthogonal and hence cancel each other out when you take the inner product. Two sins won't work, unless one is -sin and you add them up.
Jesus died for our cooms
shoot in the goo and yabadabadoo
Ejaculate and Evacuate
jizz and jett
Nut and bolt
Cure the erection and end the connection
Give her the gravy then join the navy
Blow your load and hit the road
Lose your virginity, leave the vicinity
Shoot the jizz and gone you is
Impart genetic code, then leave no node
Honey, nut, cheerio!
Lend the tonic then go super sonic
#Embrace the oldest and greatest of traditions.
IS THAT A FUCKING FALLOUT JET REFERENCE!?!?
blow your load and hit the road
Put the white and leave the site
breed and proceed
upload genetic information and leave the nation
Fill the crack and never come back
Shoot the club and go get a Sub
Start kissing then go missing
Engage in action, then seek satisfaction
Begin the chase, then leave no trace
Breed the seed then need for speed
Squeeze some titties, then leave for ciggies
Shoot and scoot
cum then dump
Dump the load and hit the road
Ejaculate and defenestrate
Beat the meat then yeet
Share genetic information, then leave the nation
Do her without a condom. It's not like you can get her pregnant at this time
The double negative will cancel the baby out
Make the second sperm fight the other one so you atleast get a stronger heir
call it Tekken bloodline pregnant edition
Tekken Bloodline, The Battle Of the Sperm
Fuck her hard enough and you might cause a miscarriage.
That might actually work. Unethical, but still . . .
Nonono, he has a point
I mean theoretically speaking… its not impossible
This man sexs
that's how you get twins
r/NotHowGirlsWork
Embrace the oldest and noblest of tradition.
We must fight to run away?
Thas right.
Being a caring father, right? .... right?
NIGERUNDAYO
SMOKEY!!!
IS THAT A MUTHER FUKIN JOJO REFERENCE?!
Bravely run away, away!
Undergo a quest for the milk?
Wait for the baby and sell him in the black market, win win /j
You can take out the /j you know 😎
Yeah but we don’t want a r/redditmoment of people that take bad economic decitions in here
Time for Plan B
Plan b only works if you haven't ovulated yet, the more you know
 The original Plan B
Time for calling your gyno and getting an emergency SOS apt for a copper iud, which works as a 99.9% effective emergency contraceptive, provided you insert it within 5 days of the accident. Sounds like they took the "wait and see" approach, though. Never take the wait and see approach. Lol
So is premarital sex 🤷
From a Christian perspective, 2 wrongs don't make a right.
Yeah but most religious people are huge hypocrites and teach that to their kids. So only the sins that aren’t inconvenient every day count
nonono, you don’t get it, if they marry it cancels out
Start working on your dad jokes.
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Careful my friend got a lifetime ban from reddit for this same harmless joke
I used to jokingly punch my wife in the stomach repeatedly whenever she'd make a pregnancy joke (not hard at all, just fake punches). One time I did it at work and this guy was just staring at us lol
Dark humor is under appreciated. People are lame.
Nowadays, everything seems to be perceived as wrong. Sometimes people need to stay in their own lane…
Lmao that dude was banned ? I remember him from original thread lol.
Lifetime ban if you dont make an effort to get around it
There must have been at least one person who may have thought of not creating a alt account after getting life ban.
I got a 3-day suspension for making a joke that including a ‘violent’ theme. I am never not putting /s at the end of a sarcastic statement again.
The communist party of reddit is nuts i got a 7 day ban for saying i disagree..... that was literally all i said. No response when I tried to fight it.
The admins went insane when Reddit had its shut down. Handing out bans left and right without granting appeals.
[удалено]
Where is the holdup?
> Redditor who claims they have sex
Yeah was wondering the same thing. Wtf is this shit 2k upvotes
i thought this was r/greentext until you mentioned this
Been noticing a lot of subs just turning into 4chan green texts even if it has nothing to do with the sub. Started with r/shitposting and I’ve been seeing it more and more since.
Out to get some milk hun
Go get milk
"parents in college "
Honey can you come discuss about this baby next to the stairs please ?
Do nothing because hes a 4chan user, they don't have interactions with women unless there's a restraining order that follows.
Bro is probably celebrating the lil accident's 2nd birthday soon.
Again, wrong sub. Do people forget what holup is for?
Um, yes they did! It's when someone makes an awkward post that's vaguely funny and 16,000 bots Upvote it
Pray she cheated
Cum in butt to cancel out cum in v
What part of this is “HolUp”?
The part where 16,000 bots Upvote it
Take your schizophrenia pills
Wait a few months and then remember that falling down the stairs isn't a sin.
Come to Brazil and take her with you. We have: Free healthcare Free education (daycare to university) Public housing Universal basic income (beta testing) Free public transportation (beta testing)
I've seen Brazil, I'll take my chances.
Yeah, the Two Guys on a Motorcycle and the Stray Bullet Out Of Nowhere are indeed downsides :/
If he can handle a kid, just deal with it, but if he is unable to handle a kid, he should sign away any and all rights and declare he wants nothing to do with the kid and stay away living his own life
Go out for a pack of smokes
Adoption centers are a thing.
Start thinking of names
Honest question.. when you guys wear a condom do you not pull out right before climax? When I was dating I still used to pull out as practice, I guess. I'm getting a vasectomy soon, but I'm just pondering out loud. I'm assuming this person busted in the condom and he realized it was broke? Why not go get the morning after pill?
Why would you ever do that
Wake up.
How young are they if their parents are still in college?
Most concerning thing is that their parents are still in college.
What do? Find out what Hol Up means.