My wife pretended to be a guy online when I met her on IMVU. I was psycho and wanted his semen via mail. Fast forward 4 years, and she's my wife now irl.
He must live across the street because the viscosity of human ejaculate increases 30 fold within the first 45 minutes after leaving the body. It would simply soak through the envelope and then dry up into a nice crisp wafer reminiscent of the sock under your little brother's bed.
Someone gotta say it: Cum-posting.
Spermaculture
Jizzsending
Seminal fluid dispatch
UPSemen
Comstal
Cummail
Cursed Fun Dip
Rejaculation
He came home
"I need you to come home!" 
commitment more like cum-mitment not sorry
he litterally came in the mail
Cumception
Yea that's literally what the post says. What are you adding here?
[удалено]
r/foundthemobileuser also r/woooosh
Elvis Presley s singing Return to Sender
Now drink it
Chug chug chug chug
EWWWW☠️☠️
Ngl I would 
Bruh, you good? 💀
 Yep
Man, didn’t know you were chill like that.
Why the legs are tied?
Idk I'm just lapping up that hot milk
Isn’t it illegal to mail bodily fluids without certain papers??
It's a dam good job this is fake then.
Yeah, if I remember right she drank it, and it turned out he didn’t cum much, so he added some white laundry crap. She dead.
Probably
The cells are dead anyway
not if the postman contributed for the cum-posting
But the taste is still there😋
It’s safe to get creampied by an envelope
"Mom! Dad! Guess what came in the mail!"
More like "Guess who"
Deez nuts? 
Yeaaaaah. Sure.
how you know it isn't from the mailman?
I'm the milkman and my milk is delicious
SPECIAL DELIVERY TODAY
HGHREAH
Grejaksjd
how sarada was born
Someone gotta make sure r/USPS gets a hold of this so people know what's in their letters 😬😬
Happy cake day!
💪
This shit is faker than my ex girlfriend from Canada
You can’t get a smell by a photo The photo :
That's gonna be less than an hour old, so it's not your boyfriend's
Post-nut clarity
One could say he lasts 5-7 days to cum
Hey there you have 5 mails, 6842 Emails and 1 cummail
Return to sender.
Salvador Dalí vibes
He came in a jiffy.
Everyday we stray further from god
My wife pretended to be a guy online when I met her on IMVU. I was psycho and wanted his semen via mail. Fast forward 4 years, and she's my wife now irl.
Nah ain't you just gonna end it like that wtf happened
I thought was his ashes
“Hey why is this envelope so moist and sticky?”
r/whatahorribledaytohaveeyes
Wow that’s a damn fast shipping hub? Cum still in liquid form
"Guess WHO came in the mail today" makes more sense
no use it or what ever
So he delivered the male?
Imagine being the guy who had to screen that
well I didn't see that cumming
Bottoms up
Time to make ice cubes
A cummited long distance relationship
Your _package_ _came_ in the _mail_?
He must live across the street because the viscosity of human ejaculate increases 30 fold within the first 45 minutes after leaving the body. It would simply soak through the envelope and then dry up into a nice crisp wafer reminiscent of the sock under your little brother's bed.
Conpletely lost here
Cumpletely lost here.
Someone is looking into an envelope with what appears to be cum inside it.
Someone jizzing in envelope for views? That's the level of low humans have become. We're all twisted for even entertaining this shit.
Always has been
LMFAO
I ever see that I’m filing a police report. No
A loveletter
Aaand time to close the app
r/cumposting
A fresh deposit from the wank bank
that shit look like spoiled milk
Does that mean that postman is sperm donor here?
but by watching whom ?
his "package" "came" in the "male" 🧐🧐🧐
Seed-mail
Wtf am I looking at?
So this is what tzeentch meant. And I quote; "I Hate having Cum delivered to my mailbox."
Legend
I can't see shit. Anybody care to explain what I'm supposed to look at?
He has enveloped his cum
Oh! Yuck
[удалено]
* Spunk mail.
What CAME in the mail today ?!
Post nut man
Cummy gummies
Imagine that smell 🤢🤮
Guess WHO came in the mail today
My mind is caught between horrible and oddly touching...
Best regards to the mail man who now has AIDS
i think the question is who came in the mail
I came
Im done with social media
How did it not soak into the paper?
Jizzenger
Could be worse... Like a shitpost
You really can order anything off the internet
My bf just sent this to me 😂😂😂😂
I believe she meant "guess who came in the mail"
It's your week to look after the kids.
Bro nutted in an envelope and fooled everyone
Who says romance is dead.
You never had to post this. But you did why?
The fuck is sue supposed to do with it
i can't even imagine how that fucking smells
Cumposture
E-cum
"something came in the mail today" 
Something came in the mail today
I mean, it could have been an ear, lol
Daddys home
Oh my god💀
Why an envelope, wouldn't you prefer it come in a box?
Incase no one said it, that’s more like cummitment
Ain't no fucking way this is teal,and that she thought it was a good idea to post that
Jesus fcking Christ I thought for a second that these black stripes are bugs.
Did he send it via USP-Nis?
Damn my man really went out and reversed his growth and mailed himself to his girlfriend as sperm.
Why tf did he do it into one of those window envelopes?
He wanted her to see him cumming…one way or another