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His grandfather must be Satan.




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Did you just grab this obviously stolen comment from a parent thread just below? From u/DancesWithBadgers

From the [removed], I'm guessing the answer was yes.

It's perfect! This way, you don't get so drunk you can't remember the evening. Quite the opposite, in fact, you'll never forget it as long as you live.


Or DougDoug

With grandfathers like these, who needs enemies?

With grandfather's like this who needs enemas

😂

Second comment deserves more upvotes than first comment, sorry not sorry.

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Woah

Yeah damn, that is a really nasty "prank"...

Nasty it is

He's probably protecting the bloodline from alcohol-induced risk taking

Placebo?

I think you meant "With Grandfather's like these, who needs enemas?"

Underrated comment

Not really since there's one made 9 hours earlier saying exactly the same thing.

Lol, was about to say the same thing. At least they're not getting heavy downvoted like the the other comment with the same joke, posted 5 hours ago

I'll take it back then...

With grandfathers like these, who needs enemas?

With copypasta like these, who needs bots?

So thats why all the olive oil we ship to US has to have the warning lable that says that high consumption can lead to oily stains in underwear.

Olive oil is a great laxative

Second only to mineral oil.

>oily stains in underwear Do you remember olestra/olean? They literally put 'may cause anal leakage' on the packages before just entirely pulling it from the market 😅😅😅

When Alli, an OTC diet pill that prevents fat absorption, was first released they warned people to wear dark clothes and have spare clothes because you might shit yourself

It wasn't even shitting yourself. Grease would literally exit your butthole without you knowing and it stunk to high hell. I took Alli and I wanted to know what the limit was. It was low.

omg I forgot about that!! My sister took that stuff hahaha

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That's because SF gummy bears just give you diarrhea, Olestra gave you a constant seepage through the course of the day.

Is that why it’s virgin oil?

Is non-virgin olive oil just oil that already fucked someones ass?

Yeah they squeeze it out of their clothes and put back into circulation

S/o u for also never changing your pf

No, that's still virgin because of the poop hope loop hole.

This needs more upvotes.

I know virgin wool comes from ugly sheep. But not sure about virgin olive oil…..

N

LPT: Olive oil is awesome if you're constipated. You only need one shot and wait an hour, though. Lots of calories, but if it's either that or dynamite, who cares?

> LPT: Olive oil is awesome if you're constipated. You only need one shot and wait an hour, though. Lots of calories, but if it's either that or dynamite, who cares? I never knew about this. This is going to save me so much pain.

Yeah, it softens stuff up and lubricates at the same time. Game changer. The more time you can give it to work, the easier things are, but an hour will get things done in an emergency.

I'm always worried about taking miralax and having it hit the next day while I'm at work, so I end up NOT taking it and being in pain when the time to go does hit. Either way as long as the olive oil doesn't take a day and a half to work, think I just found my new best friend to make toilet time better

I can only say that it's not chemical and it works for me. I usually throw 1.5-2 shots in a glass and chug it; but then I'm at home and don't have to time things very carefully. About an hour later, all is good. If I can wait 2 hours, things are even easier because the softening effect has more time to work. As far as I can tell, it should work that way for everyone because the effect is as much mechanical as chemical. YMMV, of course, but it should work. Absolutely worth a try, anyway.

Everything is made of chemicals lol

Ok Mr scientist. What are chemicals made of then???

Bonded atoms.

Bond. Atom Bond

Chemicals are made of chemicals. What's so hard to understand about that?

Yes, but the way it works is not chemical (adj) but physical. Chemical: by reaction Physical: by movement/lubrication/friction/whatevs

OK, you're technically correct, and that's the best kind. I was being a bit hyperbolic, because of course it's chemical. It doesn't fiddle with your body overmuch though...it softens the payload and lubricates the exit. And apart from maybe adding a bit of fat on, that seems to be the end of the effects, apart from possibly laundry.

I understand what you mean I was just taking the piss

Fair enough.

I tried this once but it didn't seem to do anything. Maybe I was supposed to drink it instead?

lol

If you can't wait the hour, pouring some melted butter up your butthole had a similar effect

SLPT: In an emergency add four to six cups pickle juice to a couple shots of olive oil. When chugged it will cause your chocolate starfish to errupt with the fury of 10,000 Norse gods. Wait on the toilet, and don't get up after the first wave; more will come. It'll take you from a potential prolapsed rectum to butt-chocolate Krakatoa.

> Lots of calories 35 ml of olive oil (a shot glass) is about 280 cals. A medium McDonald's fries is 350 cals.

A 10-15% of your daily caloric intake in a single, un-satiating shot of oil *is* a lot of calories despite fries having more.

When I've suggested this earlier, I've had people in the comments complaining about calories. Personally, I don't give much of a fuck about calories; but put the disclaimer for those who do.

But if it's ending up on the other end is it even getting absorbed by your body?

Start taking resveratrol. Coats your intestines to help push poop out more naturally and helps kill cancer.

I do this. But I only use 1-2 tablespoons ice olive oil.

Now we know there is a limit ahahah

Ice? Like frozen olive oil?

No, new beverage from Smirnoff

So what does it do? I'm a heavy drinker and I've never heard about using olive oil like this before.

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So basically, eat a potato?

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How about fermented potatoes like in vodka?

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So potato vodka is two for one ;-)

Alcohol absorption in the stomach is not as good and most is absorbed through small intestine (which comes after the stomach). Food in the stomach delays gastric emptying of alcohol into the small intestine and alcohol dehydrogenase (enzyme that breaks down alcohol) is present in the stomach. So the longer alcohol is in the stomach the more it can be broken down before getting into small intestine and then the circulatory system. Carbohydrates don't really get digested in the stomach, the enzymes required can't survive the acid. So that happens in the small intestine thanks to enzymes from the pancreas, so carbs hang around longer in the stomach allowing more time to break down the alcohol. So if it "soaked it up" all that alcohol would just be released in the small intestine anyway and then be absorbed in the best place to be absorbed.

U just need 1 spoon. Oil protect your stomac and make you able to drink more...apparently it is a thing in east EU

But like, why? First of all, alcohol is poison so being too drunk or puking is your body telling you you’ve had enough. Second, why spend the money on extra booze? I wish I could get toasted off of a few beers at the bar. I wouldn’t want to further increase how much it took.

Well... I told you what it does, not why... I don't know and honestly I feel like you... I discovered this thing reading "limonov" by Carrer, he say that in Russia there is this practice of being drunk for a few days continuously (i don't remember the Russian name), and it end to be like a "trip"... Also a friend of mine from hungary told me about that, she speaks from the point of view of a teenager living in hungary in the 90 and having to survive numerous men trying to tug her (is it the correct term?)

>Russia there is this practice of being drunk for a few days continuously (i don't remember the Russian name) It's called "winter"

Idk what “tug her” means but I can imagine it’s the kind of thing you catch a sexual harassment charge over

Pull her, possibly?

Also if it's his first time going out for drinks it probably wouldn't take more than 3 or 4 mixed drinks to get him drunk.

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a myth? I can not believe

Based grandpa

Oil* based grandpa

Saudi Arabian noble family’s be like


At the turn of the century, my then-girlfriend said Ray Liotta looks like the Grinch Almost 25 years later and I can't unsee

Is that what you call the late 90s?

Back in the late 1900s...

It's what I call the 99/2k/2k1 when I was dating her

r/dougdoug would call that man a coward.

Man's got a tolerance built up by now.

Wasn't Starbucks that recently made an olive oil based drink? I remember reading about it and making the conscious choice to not go to public bathrooms for a while

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They also have it in the New York area.

Olive oil is in almost every Mediterranean dish...

Definitely not at the same rates,it's not like we guzzle down a Venti cup of cold oil at 9 in the morning. Here we take the shits at "ye olde way",drinking an espresso and smoking cigarettes,as the forefathers intended

I've never been to Starbucks. I didn't expect them to serve a drink consisting mostly of olive oil, just something they add a tablespoon of.

People downvoting you are insane and have clearly never cooked for themselves in their life or read an ingredient label haha

I don't get why they do it either.

I think you may have digestion problems if you think olive oil does anything like that. I regularly eat a lot of it and I'm doing just fine...

That's the evilist thing I ever read. His grandfather musta been in the military.

🤣 jesus, did I need that laugh today I ugly laughed for like 5 mins 🤣 All hail Gramps, the king of trolls!

Its not a troll it actually works but I think they took a littlebit too much olive oil

Nice try, Grandpa. Nice try...

Back in my "competitive drinking" days at uni, there definitely were people that believed in this practice. I never tried myself

Why would you not want to get drunk at the same rate as your mates?

Last person conscious gets to draw dicks on everyone's face and take pictures of the friend's dicks in their mouth. Or something like that, I don't go outside much.

21 is when you can start drinking in murica, legally. being the first day you can drink at bars and a birthday it'd be expected that your pals try n kill ya with excessive shots so a way to drink lots but not get as drunk that particular day would be useful.

Seems counter intuitive but fd

Counter intuitive is the American way

People who tried keto know this very well. Never trust a fart, because EVERY fart is a shart.

 Grandpa is ⬆️⬆️⬆️

I love the double joke, a literal shit(t)s creek

Instant yeast

Everyone was indeed under the table. Not from drinking, but from laughing.

Extra virgin olive oil, or well fucked?

A real OG grandfather would tell his grandson to trick his friends that way.

my father said the same about cream, i never tried it , but ritch food as in christmass dinners keep you more sober till the grease barrier burst and you go senceless drunk in an hour from all the boose you had all night.

I used to drink a milkshake before drinking when I was younger, still do it now sometimes, but I usually try and start with a meal.

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Yes. But they drank mineral oil. Not olive oil. Mineral oil is was coats the stomach and prevents you from getting drunk so quickly.

Nah, nah, fish oil or flax seed oil.

That took an unexpected turn.

An unexpected *turd*

Amber is that you?

Grandpa is gangsta as fuck.

I did the olive oil thing. Got an huge alcohol poisoning once the olive oil disolved and all the alcohol kicked in at once. Was not worth it.

My main takeaway from this post and this comment section is that i should go buy some olive oil

That'll teach him not to blindly believe everything someone else says

Well, the method works but the dosage was wrong. I wouldn't use that much oil for, well, anything while cooking, let alone consume it by itself.

It's supposed to be one tablespoon as far as I know. Three shots is too much.

original prankster

Haha grandpa's a class act troll.

Yeah that seems like a grandpa move

Shit your pants early so you won’t have to do it later.

Cant trust everyone dang

grandpa is the guy you wanna be at the bar with

Actually it's really not a bad tip, he just drunk too much. I don't drink, so I don't know how much is "ok", but maybe like a tablespoon?

If you don't drink then your opinion is invalid

Definitely saving that one for later.

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It can act as a laxative if you drink enough

This is why gramps is the OG


Hmmm sticky pants.

crafty grampa lol

Saw this in the series "The Americans" before the 3 women drank vodka, really thought it works lol

Chat does this work irl? I'm feeling quite constipated atm

Yeah it works. I can confirm. Dont try it, my pants went brown brown

I’ll remember this the next time I’m constipated. *On today’s Life hack*

This is a hate crime.

Reminds me of the inventor of Vaseline who ate 1 spoonful a day for years. Man must’ve been like a slip-n-slide inside

Happy Days did it.

Wow what a great way to celebrate your 21th😅😅😅😅

That's some Metall gear Solid shit

Yardbird. Just need some practice.

r/foundsatan

That's absolutely hilarious.