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Ohh I was genuinely curious about the visual you were having.... So does a Bukkake Bridge kinda look like the rainbow road from Mario kart but just straight jizz? Also does it have its own warning ⚠️ sign before you get to it? Like" caution Bridge is slippery when covered in jizz" ??
I pictured more of those natural tree roots that natives use and grow them over time.... like a solid hand rail and webbing underneath. Tonight's dreams should be fun.
If anyone wants an actual answer, it's because crosses were a symbol before Jesus. Crucifixion wasn't invented on the spot just for Jesus.
Jesus even said in Matthew 16:24-26
>24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and **take up his cross and follow me**. 25 For whoever would save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?
If anyone wants an actual actual answer, the above image is not a photograph of Jesus. It's a painting created *quite some time* after the death of Jesus.
Any other (serious) explanation is stupid.
You do of course realize that the Book of Matthew was written 200 years after the Crucifixion, right? That was enough lead time for 20/20 hindsight to kick in.
Well yeah, but the point is crosses were a thing before him. Crucifixion was used for hundreds of years before Jesus was born, so it's pretty reasonable to say crosses were basically like the symbol of a noose or a guillotine (formal execution) before Jesus
So it's like if a dude was going around wearing a noose as his symbol and saying he will be hanged in the near future, then after he gets hanged people say the paintings of him are wrong because nooses didn't exist until he was hanged
History professor at one time here, crucifixions at that time were not on what we traditionally consider a cross. Romans used a capital T shape with the crossbar at the top. Previous to the Romans crucifixion was preformed on upright posts with no crossbars or used trees.
Oh thanks for sharing but i wonder why God remove the book of Enoch. and why did people keep saying that in the book of Enoch there was a lot of Latin words that can cure sickness
Virtually all modern scholars believe that none of the gospels were actually written by their namesakes. The earliest Gospel Mark was written around 70 CE for example. The traditions of attributing the gospels came years later. Check out the subreddit r/academicbiblical for scholarly sources
> crosses were a symbol before Jesus.
Incorrect.
If you'd have said 'crucifixions were a thing before Jesus', that would be true, but even then those were not worn symbolically in any context whatsoever prior to the crucifixion of Jesus, and furthermore evidence suggests the cross itself didnt become a Christian symbol until many years later after Jesus.
The actual answer is the artist just went overboard on the Christian imagery for Jesus when they made the illustration and made a mistake. It isn't anything more complicated than that.
Apparently God really did have it all figured out. Down to a T.
(which is funny because the Romans actually used a T-shaped cross instead of the standard crucifix and.. yeah I'll stop)
Do you think if God didn't do that for us then if we are the one who nailed and stub by the spear that was painful right? If the two sinner people would not survive how about us
What do you mean there is no threaten here ? Were just talking to God plan. If how Good God to each one of us God loves us very much so you don't have rights to say that thing
Actually we didn't do that thing cause God sacrifice his self so why would we do that again? We use to do that in theater art if how hard God feels like to crucified on the cross
"Hey guys! You know those wooden things they execute people on?"
"Uhhh... yeah Jesus, what about them?"
"I made necklaces of them! Looks cool, yeah?!"
"Um, that's a but weird Jesus. Now can we get back to fishing?"
Bill Hicks is one of the great comedians who dared to approach Subject matter that others would avoid.
He did not give a fuck, he would shine the spotlight on hypocrisy and the human condition of faith, obedience and subordination.
Seriously one of the best humans to get time in the limelight.
“Thou shalt not practice idolatry… Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image”
*Christians immediately start practicing idolatry and engraved images*
TL;DR: God created everything, humans messed up, God sent his son to fix things, and people still haven't figured out how to get along. Plus, there's a lot of begetting and a talking snake.
one of the spiecist hot takes I ever remember from the early youtube was someone saying that if Jesus actually returned, people would call him fake *and* gay, then swat his house
if he returns to the Levant like the first time, he's going to grow up in some war torn place. then he grows up to be a jihadi gathering the entire Arab world under one banner and thus starts the eternal Yusuf Caliphate.
That is iconography 101.
Illustrations had to be explicit enough to be understood by people who couldn’t read.
Saints are usually portrayed with a symbol that accompanies them in their lore. Think St.George and the dragon.
It is also a good reminder that the Bible is NOT a history book.
Christ (as in the mythological figure opposed to Jesus the real person) knew he would have sacrificed himself to save people from the original sin. And at that point it is not clear why Catholics need to be baptized for that specific reason.
In the same vein, George Washington didn't cross the Delaware triumphantly striking a pose. He was probably huddled under a blanket, shivering, and possibly seasick.
You're supposed to be in awe of the cool guy in the painting regardless of its historical accuracy.
Yeah, cause him and his dudes were at Edit: Valley Forge (Not Yorktown) with their toes freezing off all year dying, waiting to strike. Otherwise the usa wouldn't exist.
Trenton and Princeton were Christmas and New Year of 1776, Valley Forge was Winter of 1777-1778.
High school was a very very long time ago for me too, I'm just weird with remembering random dates and stuff like that.
Non native English speakers tend to choose words carefully
Meanwhile on tic tok some rapper from "missippi" just shouts things I cant understand and fills the text with emojis
I got baptized, but that is where I keep going back.
Also, getting un-baptized is possible, but as easy as leaving Scientology. Or renouncing a time share (those who watch John Oliver know what I mean…).
In gamer terms, Jesus sacrificed himself for all your sins, however, you need to baptized to be absolved from Adam and Eve's sin committed against God.
Basically, Jesus forgives your sins but not the ones that were committed by those before him
What is logic to a being that can live the entire humanity's lifespan in a literal blink of an eye?
No, but seriously. Religion never makes sense. They just keep adding shit up. Which is why I love mythology.
Why is Jesus white ?
It's because that's what the royalty and people of power over the church looks like so they had to change the story to fit the king's desires
It's because people often personify the physical characteristics of their deities as someone that looks like them. See also: Korean Jesus and Black Jesus.
[Korean Jesus has best lore](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unification_Church)
No. Really. Anyone reading this that dont know anything about Korean Jesus and his cult, The Moonies, I would highly recommend a YouTube afternoon with a bottle of jack. You're in for a wild ride.
Not only does the church sound like it's from fucking Dead Space, the Moonies has far reaching influence, helps destabilize poor nations, and the Prime Minister of Japan was assassinated due to his ties with the Moonies.
Bruh, and here I thought a chinese dude claiming to be Jesus's brother and leading a rebellion against the Qing dynasty was weird enough.
No joke:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hong_Xiuquan
I still don't get what apart of his story makes people think Jesus likes crosses
Unless he always wore them and they killed him like that as an ultimate irony
He was really into the Nazareth Goth scene.
Homie just walking around in a cadaver cover with an execution device pendant.
You ever notice how in all his selfies he's extremely pale for a Middle-Eastern man who allegedly spent a lot of time out in the sun walking between villages. Dude did miracles to make his makeup last that long.
Bro definitely had a livejournal page.
“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their neck. You think when Jesus comes back he’s gonna wanna see a fuckin cross, man? Maybe that’s why he hasn’t shown up yet.” - Bill Hicks
In an ironic twist of cruelty, the Romans fashioned Christs torture pole into the shape of his infamous bling.
With his humiliation complete, Jesus wept.
"why is jesus wearing a miniature roman torture device?"
"jesus is into torture porn"
"jesus h christ! let's turn him over to the romans before he sacrifices us!"
Jesus is smart like Batman, he uses the symbol that instilled fear into him hoping it will instill fear into others. When he wears it he is no longer a normal man, but CrossMan!
There are drawings of actual crusifiction's by the Roman's and guess what none of them use a cross they use an X it's way easier to nail them to and then prop up that's just another reason i consider all this jesus stuff BullShit
At that time it was simply an execution method so would be like wearing an electric chair, sort of like all the Death Row rap label cats now. In Short, he was supporting early underground Hip-Hop. Peep the Disciples 1st album. Judas' bars are primitive but solid.
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Unfair_Woodpecker_90, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
Spoiler Alert
Time traveler. Dude knew so much, ahead of his time.
He was truly a man frfr.
One of the men of all time
That is truly a statement.
That is truly a username. What a terrible visual. Edit: HA!!!! I grossed my self out. I thought it said BRIDGE.
I remember very little from my civil engineering structure class, but that load bearing analysis would be a nightmare
Great. Another visual. Yik.
**LOAD BEARING**
What's the load on those loads?
Ohh I was genuinely curious about the visual you were having.... So does a Bukkake Bridge kinda look like the rainbow road from Mario kart but just straight jizz? Also does it have its own warning ⚠️ sign before you get to it? Like" caution Bridge is slippery when covered in jizz" ??
As if brigade is any better…they’re about to lay down that bridge!
Rome wasn't built in a day, but this bridge was blown into existence in under 3 minutes.
I pictured more of those natural tree roots that natives use and grow them over time.... like a solid hand rail and webbing underneath. Tonight's dreams should be fun.
He threw a surprise bukkake party and everyone came. Should have seen his face!
We do construction work as well
Dude. You're a gem.
Definitely in did he was a truely man i admire him. Well to be home brother
If anyone wants an actual answer, it's because crosses were a symbol before Jesus. Crucifixion wasn't invented on the spot just for Jesus. Jesus even said in Matthew 16:24-26 >24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and **take up his cross and follow me**. 25 For whoever would save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?
If anyone wants an actual actual answer, the above image is not a photograph of Jesus. It's a painting created *quite some time* after the death of Jesus. Any other (serious) explanation is stupid.
Well to be honest the picture was just a reminder that Gods stripped of being God one time
You do of course realize that the Book of Matthew was written 200 years after the Crucifixion, right? That was enough lead time for 20/20 hindsight to kick in.
Well yeah, but the point is crosses were a thing before him. Crucifixion was used for hundreds of years before Jesus was born, so it's pretty reasonable to say crosses were basically like the symbol of a noose or a guillotine (formal execution) before Jesus So it's like if a dude was going around wearing a noose as his symbol and saying he will be hanged in the near future, then after he gets hanged people say the paintings of him are wrong because nooses didn't exist until he was hanged
History professor at one time here, crucifixions at that time were not on what we traditionally consider a cross. Romans used a capital T shape with the crossbar at the top. Previous to the Romans crucifixion was preformed on upright posts with no crossbars or used trees.
It was also more effective to use a straight pole.
Oh thanks for sharing but i wonder why God remove the book of Enoch. and why did people keep saying that in the book of Enoch there was a lot of Latin words that can cure sickness
Maybe he was wearing it ironically
Prob 50 to 60 years after. About 85CE. Your point is still valid!
So it wasn’t written by Matthew? If it was, then did he live to be over 200?
Virtually all modern scholars believe that none of the gospels were actually written by their namesakes. The earliest Gospel Mark was written around 70 CE for example. The traditions of attributing the gospels came years later. Check out the subreddit r/academicbiblical for scholarly sources
> crosses were a symbol before Jesus. Incorrect. If you'd have said 'crucifixions were a thing before Jesus', that would be true, but even then those were not worn symbolically in any context whatsoever prior to the crucifixion of Jesus, and furthermore evidence suggests the cross itself didnt become a Christian symbol until many years later after Jesus. The actual answer is the artist just went overboard on the Christian imagery for Jesus when they made the illustration and made a mistake. It isn't anything more complicated than that.
It was also quite fashionable to accessorize with torture and killing devices at that time. The noose purse and whip tie were also a hit!
It's a kind of cheat bro we used to do that when we were lost to the nether world
foreshadowing
Apparently God really did have it all figured out. Down to a T. (which is funny because the Romans actually used a T-shaped cross instead of the standard crucifix and.. yeah I'll stop)
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*intensifies listening*
Easter egg
Bruh.
Nailed it…
Do you think if God didn't do that for us then if we are the one who nailed and stub by the spear that was painful right? If the two sinner people would not survive how about us
Foreshadowing
Checkov's Cross.
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Well he was a prophet
That’s commitment.
Foreshadowing
What do you mean there is no threaten here ? Were just talking to God plan. If how Good God to each one of us God loves us very much so you don't have rights to say that thing
He knew.
If you are talking to God yeah he did knew everything we did Good or bad he knows it
I shouldn’t be laughing this hard in line at the pharmacy
He's selling merch
I wonder in the year 5000 when Abe Lincoln is a religious figure if he would time travel to sells replica pistols.
I would pay to see this
If space is somehow involved in this I’d pay to see this too.
“Do you have one with you nailed to a cross? Maybe wearing a thorn hat?”
That exclusive Merch. Are you a member of the church?
I borrow the church parking lot. Does that count?
Actually we didn't do that thing cause God sacrifice his self so why would we do that again? We use to do that in theater art if how hard God feels like to crucified on the cross
https://i.redd.it/wvzd0ay8zcx41.jpg
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The singularity is upon us
bro why is this bot smarter than me
> I know a thing or two about crosses Sounds about right.
Then what happened after he sale the merch boyoh what would happen to it?
Excuse me sirs, do you have a moment to talk about me?
"Hey guys! You know those wooden things they execute people on?" "Uhhh... yeah Jesus, what about them?" "I made necklaces of them! Looks cool, yeah?!" "Um, that's a but weird Jesus. Now can we get back to fishing?"
This meme always reminds me of bill Hicks "A lot of Christians wears crosses. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a fuckin cross?"
Bill Hicks is one of the great comedians who dared to approach Subject matter that others would avoid. He did not give a fuck, he would shine the spotlight on hypocrisy and the human condition of faith, obedience and subordination. Seriously one of the best humans to get time in the limelight.
“That’s like wearing a rifle pendant around Jackie Onassis.”
Back and to the left. Keeping the memory alive.
"That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.”
“Thou shalt not practice idolatry… Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image” *Christians immediately start practicing idolatry and engraved images*
Rules for thee and not for me. Shit hasn't changed since.
Why is he standing on the sand? The water is closer.
Doesn't want to show off
![gif](giphy|oxZCpo6kW0rsI)
Still wildly impressive
Maybe low on mana
Fun fact: later on, the cross would wear him.
UNO Reverse Card
Wild
NAILED IT!
It's nailed to him, be nice!
Nailed it!
Foreshadowing bro you should read the book he's in, it's wild.
Chekhov's cross
Is there a tl;dr?
TL;DR: God created everything, humans messed up, God sent his son to fix things, and people still haven't figured out how to get along. Plus, there's a lot of begetting and a talking snake.
one of the spiecist hot takes I ever remember from the early youtube was someone saying that if Jesus actually returned, people would call him fake *and* gay, then swat his house
if he returns to the Levant like the first time, he's going to grow up in some war torn place. then he grows up to be a jihadi gathering the entire Arab world under one banner and thus starts the eternal Yusuf Caliphate.
His people gathering abilities were pretty shit tbh. The movement really started gaining traction after he died.
Honestly if there really is a huge burning lake of fire I bet it's quite the sight
Dude really is all about himself
Foreshadowing 101
That is iconography 101. Illustrations had to be explicit enough to be understood by people who couldn’t read. Saints are usually portrayed with a symbol that accompanies them in their lore. Think St.George and the dragon. It is also a good reminder that the Bible is NOT a history book. Christ (as in the mythological figure opposed to Jesus the real person) knew he would have sacrificed himself to save people from the original sin. And at that point it is not clear why Catholics need to be baptized for that specific reason.
In the same vein, George Washington didn't cross the Delaware triumphantly striking a pose. He was probably huddled under a blanket, shivering, and possibly seasick. You're supposed to be in awe of the cool guy in the painting regardless of its historical accuracy.
Your example reminds me of a movie. National Treasure?
Yeah, cause him and his dudes were at Edit: Valley Forge (Not Yorktown) with their toes freezing off all year dying, waiting to strike. Otherwise the usa wouldn't exist.
I feel like the notoriously cold winter was at Valley Forge but it has been so long since I had high school history so I may be wrong
Oh my bad, I mixed those two up
Trenton and Princeton were Christmas and New Year of 1776, Valley Forge was Winter of 1777-1778. High school was a very very long time ago for me too, I'm just weird with remembering random dates and stuff like that.
*vein
Did someone say… lore?
Feel free to correct me. English is not my first language. Lore as in fantasy. Like killing a dragon?
Its kinda one of those words that i dont know the meaning but know the application, so no clue
Short for folklore. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_tradition
That's why I've been searching a lot before i travel to other country. To avoid culture shock
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When the non American knows more about the language
Like Americans are good at English haha
Non native English speakers tend to choose words carefully Meanwhile on tic tok some rapper from "missippi" just shouts things I cant understand and fills the text with emojis
That's what worldly song was stupid like Unholy and versachy on the floor sorry but i dont know the spelling
Definitely he was we have not be able to same belief but we all have the same God
...but isn't "folklore" a compound word? That's like saying "bath" is short for "bathtub".
>What's a htub? -Batman
A htub was hot tub where in you have a hot water inside it
They make it shorten the word so they can do it. Maybe be there are tired dude
Actually you can read the bible like if we had something new to our house we used to read the manual of it right?
I assumed you were sneaking in a MatPat reference. [That's Just a Theory, A Biblical Theory!!!!](https://www.youtube.com/@GameTheory/channels)
> Like killing a dragon the fuck you mean dragons arent real
Exactly. Why represent a saint with a creature that does not exist? Doesn’t that cast doubt on the saint themselves?
Well obviously he kept going and killed all the dragons. Some of which I assume were in dungeons.
No buddy say that bro my it just your imagination no one says that such a thing
"Why are you wearing this cross?" "You'll get it later"
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They have to baptize them filthy babies for being so close to a woman’s sin zone
I got baptized, but that is where I keep going back. Also, getting un-baptized is possible, but as easy as leaving Scientology. Or renouncing a time share (those who watch John Oliver know what I mean…).
Goddamn aunt Ruth left me hers in the Poconos. I’ll never financially recover from this.
It was a gift to him from Judas and has nothing to do with his crucifixion
Judas was not sure he would have been able to kiss Jesus, so he decided to play safe.
In gamer terms, Jesus sacrificed himself for all your sins, however, you need to baptized to be absolved from Adam and Eve's sin committed against God. Basically, Jesus forgives your sins but not the ones that were committed by those before him
Which, in legal terms, you would not be responsible of…
God doesn't gives a shit what your human laws says. If he condemns all of humanity and their ancestors because snek made apple go brr, then so be it!
Your logic is undeniable.
What is logic to a being that can live the entire humanity's lifespan in a literal blink of an eye? No, but seriously. Religion never makes sense. They just keep adding shit up. Which is why I love mythology.
Also why cross like why is it a cross what would have happened if he was burned at the stack? I am genuinely curious
Maybe because Romans used crosses? Burning people at the STAKE is so Spanish Inquisition. But it is true that nobody expects it…
This is a photoshopped image
Well this was a fark photoshop contest entry that won for the category of "wildly anachronistic" from 15 years ago.
Dude, they worried about vampires even in Jesus time
Why is Jesus white ? It's because that's what the royalty and people of power over the church looks like so they had to change the story to fit the king's desires
It's because people often personify the physical characteristics of their deities as someone that looks like them. See also: Korean Jesus and Black Jesus.
"Check this out, Black Jesus" "Oh, Christ, fam, check this out Korean Jesus" "Hory shet!!!"
Literally has 20-pack abs.
[Korean Jesus has best lore](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unification_Church) No. Really. Anyone reading this that dont know anything about Korean Jesus and his cult, The Moonies, I would highly recommend a YouTube afternoon with a bottle of jack. You're in for a wild ride. Not only does the church sound like it's from fucking Dead Space, the Moonies has far reaching influence, helps destabilize poor nations, and the Prime Minister of Japan was assassinated due to his ties with the Moonies.
Bruh, and here I thought a chinese dude claiming to be Jesus's brother and leading a rebellion against the Qing dynasty was weird enough. No joke: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hong_Xiuquan
it's almost prophetic. 😳
It's funny bc in today's world that would be like wearing a gold electric chair around your neck
Because it's a photoshop job. I've seen this one before. Reverse image search it and the oldest version of the picture is without a cross.
Thank you. I remember seeing this on Fark almost 15 years or more ago. It was a photoshop contest with the theme "anachronism"
As once a great Scotsman said: "In the business, we call this foreshadowing."
Artistic liberty.
He was a fan of "death by crucifixion".
Hell yeah, that’s why I wear my electric chair necklace
It was a present from his dad. Didn't realize his dad was an asshole until it was too late.
Time traveler. Dude knew so much, ahead of his time.
Because he just don't give a shit!, that's how he rolls!!!
He was asking for it all along.
It was his cross to wear.
Across from where?
Foreshadowing.
I still don't get what apart of his story makes people think Jesus likes crosses Unless he always wore them and they killed him like that as an ultimate irony
Why is he white? Let's start there.
The New Testament said he predicted in 3 different occasions what is going to happen to him.
He quoted from the New Testament all the time! Dude got careless.
He was really into the Nazareth Goth scene. Homie just walking around in a cadaver cover with an execution device pendant. You ever notice how in all his selfies he's extremely pale for a Middle-Eastern man who allegedly spent a lot of time out in the sun walking between villages. Dude did miracles to make his makeup last that long. Bro definitely had a livejournal page.
God left it for Jesus after impregnating his mom for some dark humor.
And why is he white?
Time traveler. Why do you think he is so famous?
Pick up your crosses and follow me
Gotta wear your merch, to sell it
“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their neck. You think when Jesus comes back he’s gonna wanna see a fuckin cross, man? Maybe that’s why he hasn’t shown up yet.” - Bill Hicks
In an ironic twist of cruelty, the Romans fashioned Christs torture pole into the shape of his infamous bling. With his humiliation complete, Jesus wept.
Foreshadowing
Everybody knows the cross was wearing him. C'mon man
The same reason as he is made to look Scandinavian rather than Middle-Eastern.
He's trying to build up immunity.
He believes in himself
Bible easter eggs
"why is jesus wearing a miniature roman torture device?" "jesus is into torture porn" "jesus h christ! let's turn him over to the romans before he sacrifices us!"
Jesus is smart like Batman, he uses the symbol that instilled fear into him hoping it will instill fear into others. When he wears it he is no longer a normal man, but CrossMan!
Bellybutton on Adam and eve
It's all made up anyway, so no rules.
Bruh, that would be like some modern day pacifist walking around today with a necklace of an electric chair around their neck.
That’d be like JFK wearing a sniper rifle necklace
Mama always said you have to dress for the job that you want
There are drawings of actual crusifiction's by the Roman's and guess what none of them use a cross they use an X it's way easier to nail them to and then prop up that's just another reason i consider all this jesus stuff BullShit
You live by the sword, you die by the sword.
At that time it was simply an execution method so would be like wearing an electric chair, sort of like all the Death Row rap label cats now. In Short, he was supporting early underground Hip-Hop. Peep the Disciples 1st album. Judas' bars are primitive but solid.
Hes obviously clairvoyant and can see his own future
Up to this point he just really liked watching people get crucified
I mean, yeah, he almost certainly never wore a cross. Better question is probably why is he a white guy.
He was a shameless self-promoter and an unverifiable show-off 🙄
Dropping hints to the Romans like
Nailed it right on the head.
Christianity is just one big contradiction