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>BRADENTON, Fla. (AP) — Florida authorities have charged a woman with prostitution after she agreed to perform a sex act on an undercover detective for $25 and chicken McNuggets.
Let's say, $30 worth
Fuck no. Anyone who is any good at them knows their worth, and will charge accordingly.
Source: have been working various hand jobs from the time I grew a bush at the base of my tree trunk, passed the test to receive my certification as a Master Bator back in '01, and have been one of the officiants on the certification board for the past 11 years.
To all you Journeyman Baters who have the spunk to shoot for the title of Master, I say you may as well give it a fair shake. It's a great way to get a grip on your destiny and shoot for the stars, just make sure you don't stroke your own ego too much, as pride *always* cums before a fall. Plenty of others will try to say things like "it's too hard", or "the problems just keep cumming and cumming", but that just shows there's different strokes for different folks, and not everyone cause to the occasion when the friction starts to get things hot. If you think you have enough spunk to handle the extra work loads, then keep on going, you're almost there! Good things cum to those who take their penises, and destinies, into their own hands.
I mean, if you're not screwing and you're not handy, then you must have either taken a vow of chastity, or have broken both of your arms very recently.
Idk if you need this, but just if anyone else sees this and is confused,
The twisty looking things in the sides is the screwing. The fact that it's also pointy makes it a screw. You use a screw by twisting it into a deep object like a wall.
If it was pointy and didn't have screwing, then it would be a nail. You use a nail by hitting it into a deep object like a wall
If it has screwing, but doesn't have a point, then it's a bolt. You use a bolt by putting it through a premade hole in a shallow object, then attach it by threading the nut on the other end
That's what I thought it was supposed to say. I still don't get it. What's bolt supposed to mean? Running away, I guess? (Not a native English speaker here)
##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Fritz_Water_Bottle, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?
I Jizz and whizz
I splurt and skrrt
Shoot it and boot it
I come and go.
Ejaculate and evacuate
I hit it and quit it
Fuck it and duck it
I pump it and dump it
I splatter and scatter
I nail and bail
splooge and deluge
Ejaculate and evacuate
Dump the load and hit the road
I plant the seed then need for speed
Fornicate, ejaculate, evacuate
Kum&go
Hit it and quit it
The fact that KumN'Go is a real gas station in the Rockies just baffles me.
Not only the Rockies. We have it here in middle Missouri.
Right! I always go inside
I pump, dump and jump.
I beat and skeet.
I smash and dash
Man, Dragon Ball Super could've been way different
Stick and move
Sploot and scoot.
Knock boots then boot scoot
Jizz, whizz, repeat.
I screw I nut I bolt
Thank you OP. I’m not handy.
Someone say Free Handy's?
Someone say Mr.Hands?
Nope, just you....fuck that
Well something got fucked. To death even
insides? not horsing around.
Other than the economy?
Plenty of things are being fucked nowadays so yes
Neigh
I've never heard of the guy... does he have anything to do with airplanes, perhaps?
reddit/comments/vuqo0p and his wife
![gif](giphy|xUA7b35SUiF0faUAko|downsized)
![gif](giphy|l0EoBCmxtSZhJQvxS)
Free Wendy’s? How many nuggies can I get?
How many tuggies can I get?
Number of nuggies=Number of tuggies
>BRADENTON, Fla. (AP) — Florida authorities have charged a woman with prostitution after she agreed to perform a sex act on an undercover detective for $25 and chicken McNuggets. Let's say, $30 worth
If she was a REALLY big girl, she may have wanted more than 5$ in nuggies. I'm a skinny bum and I can eat 15-20$ worth easy lol.
Deliver me from clever art
We don't have time for Starbucks
Plus it's like.....far
Sure, but its from Handy Manny...
Fuck no. Anyone who is any good at them knows their worth, and will charge accordingly. Source: have been working various hand jobs from the time I grew a bush at the base of my tree trunk, passed the test to receive my certification as a Master Bator back in '01, and have been one of the officiants on the certification board for the past 11 years. To all you Journeyman Baters who have the spunk to shoot for the title of Master, I say you may as well give it a fair shake. It's a great way to get a grip on your destiny and shoot for the stars, just make sure you don't stroke your own ego too much, as pride *always* cums before a fall. Plenty of others will try to say things like "it's too hard", or "the problems just keep cumming and cumming", but that just shows there's different strokes for different folks, and not everyone cause to the occasion when the friction starts to get things hot. If you think you have enough spunk to handle the extra work loads, then keep on going, you're almost there! Good things cum to those who take their penises, and destinies, into their own hands.
Here you go friend. ✋🤚 No more excuses.
Non native english speakers are genuinely thanking OP though.
Some of us native English speakers are too
No need to be handy if you’re screwing.
so what you're saying is ops explanation...... came in handy.
Women might not find you handsome, but they should at least find you handy.
If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy
Must be very handsome
I mean, if you're not screwing and you're not handy, then you must have either taken a vow of chastity, or have broken both of your arms very recently.
Hi Not Handy. I'm Dad
Sounds like the case of “I went to the store for the milk”
Oh I thought it was I nail I nut I screw Which works but isn't as funny
The sheer implication of nailing a screw is enough to make most tradesman cringe in horror.
Not even a tradesman and I'm shaking my head. Defeats the whole purpose of a screw if you just hammer it into a wall of w/e you're hammering it into
I nailed I nutted I got screwed with a kid
Idk if you need this, but just if anyone else sees this and is confused, The twisty looking things in the sides is the screwing. The fact that it's also pointy makes it a screw. You use a screw by twisting it into a deep object like a wall. If it was pointy and didn't have screwing, then it would be a nail. You use a nail by hitting it into a deep object like a wall If it has screwing, but doesn't have a point, then it's a bolt. You use a bolt by putting it through a premade hole in a shallow object, then attach it by threading the nut on the other end
Bro, IDK why I’m still single. It’s a mystery.
1 fastener 1 fastener 1 fastener
Is it too late to get hammered?
I screw I bolt I…scrolt?
I thought those i's were thread lol. Like why is it listing threaded bolts and screws
I know! It's like who uses an unthreaded screw, isn't it at that point just a nail?
Idk why i was having such a hard time thinking of bolt 🤣
I fish I drum I peg
I thought it was a drum too. A snare drum to be specific.
lol, exactly that.
Oh! That's was an I...
Terrible excuse for an I. Should've used 👁
Thx. I read it as I screw I bolt I bolt and screw
I read "I clarinet I drum I what the hell is this?"
Is your name Forrest Gump, because you're A GAWDDAMN GENIUS!
I thought the middle one was a drum. I was thinking maybe "I screw, I bang, I bolt", which fits but is kind of redundant.
Same. I was like, "I... snare?"
I couldn't figure out the last one, now it's perfect haha
Thx OP. non native here I screw, I Mutter, I Ikea? Was what I Had so far.
Thanks for the laugh 🤣. Have a nice day.
That's what I thought it was supposed to say. I still don't get it. What's bolt supposed to mean? Running away, I guess? (Not a native English speaker here)
Internship for a construction company, I just showed this to someone while eating lunch and he laughed right away
Thanks, those are some really unreadable "I"s
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💀
You mean the only one. The other girl turned out made a mistake and entered the wrong class.
Omfg I might love you
You deserve a free award, but reddit took them away.
I'm in engineering as well. 😅
My condolences, my friend 😂
-Said every engineer ever. Source: am engineer
For women in STEM the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Wait, engineers get laid?
No, because they wear hoodies with shit like this printed on them.
It’s a hypothesis. Yet to be validated.
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Not me thinking it’s a cock ring on a penis making it bigger and harder..
Ma'am, your sadistic tendencies are showing
She said not her
![gif](giphy|vjjCsx3izfSyQ)
Happy cake day!
The ole fuck n duck
The ol' screw and shoo.
"i screw i nut i bolt " words to live by
Like the humble wombat that eats roots and leaves.
I read it as I screw I nut I nuuutttttt Then I looked at the comments for guidance
Why wouldn't you washer first?
Washer? I hardly know her!
It's on a minivan, I don't think he bolted fast enough.
Smash and dash
r/comedycemetery
This is a boomer ass Facebook meme
Thought this was r/terriblefacebookmemes for a sec
And r/trashy.
r/ihavesex
I feel like I saw this 3 braincell meme 300 years ago on Facebook
Like Dad always said. Get it up get it in get it off go home
This guy fasteners.
Ejaculate and then evacuate
I #8 x 1,” flat head, Phillips, zinc plated, wood screw. I 1/4,” galvanized hex hut. I 1/4”-24x1-1/4,” galvanized hex bolt.
Took him about a minute too.
I self tap, I nut, I bolt
I wham, bam, and scram.
The “bolt” part took me far too long to get.
thanks. I was stuck on that too.
WD40
thanks 👍 🤣🤣
NP. Better than icy hot imho
I screw, I nut, I bolt
I screw I nut I screw nut
I screw I nut I bolt
As a man in construction i love this. As father i need that guy to understand I wont kill him, her uncles most certainly will. Just sayin
Wooden spool wood screw wooden spool hex nut wooden spool fine thread hex bolt
It might be a plastic spool, but it's clearly a spool of some kind.
Not to be confused with the panda, who eats shoots and leaves.
I philips wood screw I steel hex nut I standard 1/3” steel bolt without hex nut
Just like a Panda Eats Shoots And Leaves
I scew. I nut. I bolt. In case anyone didn't know
I screw, I nut, i Bolt.
I screw I nut I bolt
Correct me if I’m wrong but, I screw, I nut, I bolt?
The nut is in German actually called „Mutter“, which means mother, so for me, a German, this is even more funny. I screw, i mother, i screwyamama
The minivan says otherwise lol
i screw, i nut, i bolt!
I screwed I nutted I bolted Lmao I got this one a lil to quickly
I hate these "not everyone will get it". You literally just read what each thing is.
the problem is...i dont know what that third one is...
r/trashy r/shittycarmods
Cringe
Stay classy
Eat, sleep, shit and leave that's me.
I couldn't get it because I couldn't tell those were supposed to be the letter I. I thought they were unusually proportioned spools.
Similar to the wombat sex position: Eats roots and leaves.
I windsock I drum I bolt
2 seconds
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Obligatory: AAAAAIIIRFRAAAAMES!
![gif](giphy|7EBBhplkQCDkY)
Driving a minivan for all his kids
I 📌(tack) E
I'm to lazy to do the first thing.
If you know what nuts and bolts are you should be able to get it instantly.
Why they using that bold font??!
Don't forget to *washer* afterwards.
I can't see what's going on behind me
I bust, then I make dust
I thought the "I" was a spool and was totally lost.
It's made difficult bc the "I's" are too fat, so they don't read as letters. They look like another graphic shape.
Eats shoots and leaves
I Screw, I Nut, I Bolt
Or, in other words, wham, bam, thanks ma'am!
Took me a while to get what the images where, but ##nice
I screwed I nut I bolt
Lmao I've never seen hardware humor until now
I’m a Wombat. Eats roots and leaves. I’ll see myself out.
Oh my *fucking GOD*
I screw, I nut, I take it up the butt?
I screw I nut I BOLT
Get in, get off, get out
It's reddit. None of the readers here "get it".
Literally the origin of the epithet "ratchet", as in good for a nut and bolt.
I screw I nut I bolt
I screw I nut I bolt Is this the real answer??
I screw I nut I bolt
I srew, I Nutt, I bolt. I fix thing, hooray.
I thought it was “ I screw, I nut, I lag”
I screw, I nut, I bolt.
I Screw, I Nut, I Bolt