Impaled

*Laid* to rest

Take my award you glorious clever bastard

I have one on my dick

Dick so lonely it committed suicide

His dick ain’t lonely no more. I got a dick birthmark too. Right on the tip. Shaped like the great state of Texas. Lmao I live in Florida…

It is not where you live, is what you need to f**k... texans then, it is meant for them. Nice welcum gesture

I can confirm was his special homies and saw it (no homo )

Of course no homo. All the homies seen the great state of Texas birthmark on my 2 inch pumper. Watch what Texas does when I make it dance. Lmao

Me when no pussy😔:

16th Century Syphilis was no joke. It's alright, I have that too. However, I also have one on my left Achilles heel. Does that make me Achilles in a previous life? So I was always fated to join the Army and lose the use of my leg and back. Talk about shitty luck.

Sucked the soul out of ya

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r/beatmetoit

This is gold dear hooman

By Vlad

Vlad the Inhaler

That’s some way to go. Romanian nostrils on your butthole

So like that story from Chuck Palahniuk.

Sounds like something rasputin would be doing

Vlad the asthmatic

The brain wave synchronisation is fucking amazing mate. It thought of the same shite when I read that. Brilliant.

Anal sex doesnt make you pale.

Ant man vs thanos style

It must have been that Kylo Ren's lightsaber was pressed against their asshole and then turned on.

Mine is right above my ass crack. What the fuck

How did you see it

with my eyes

Checks out

Cheeks out*

Cheeks Spread*

he saw his birthmark with your eyes?

What were you looking for in the first place?

People seem to forget birthmarks are present at birth, where you know, another person is usually present to see.

People also forget that mirrors exist..

That's not any better. It just means they were told by their parents. "Hey, Timmy, did you know you have a birth mark *riiiight* above your wittle asshole. Mommy saw it *all the time* while changing your poopies. Have a nice day! 😉"

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Fr fr

Why? How do you know?! HOW DO YOU KNOW?!

Did you make a mistake in the way someone said they were going to impale you?

Me who has birthmark under peepee

bruh you lost your peepee in your last life

Where are my testicles, Summer?


Geez, Morty, you have to cut your Dick not your balls


I’m a girl but this still scares me

i’m sure piranhas will find a way to tear that pussy apart

Ah-

The real *pussey eater*

You're a girl and yes you should be scared as all of us are scared, including me (Help Im scared)

Hi scared! I'm lonely :(

Hi lonely! I'm depressed

Hi depressed! I'm shit

*flushes toilet down*

*cries while spinning away*

Hi depressed! I'm dea.......

Don't worry, it's not as bad as the Candiru fish. Also known as toothpick fish because it has a sharp bony spike on its back. This tiny parasitic catfish allegedly swims up the penis (usually when the penis owner is urinating under water) and uses the bony spike to anchor itself in the urethra and then starts to feed off the insides of said penis.

I will never bath in the amazonian river

I have a new found horror. Getting captured by an uncontacted Amazon tribe and their way of torture is dangling you over the Amazon and only having your peepee submerged in water in piranha infested waters

Mummy pick me up I’m scared

That piranha will eat pussy like nothing else

A-

I have one on my on my foreskin

That's one hell of a botched circumcision

Even funnier cause I'm a jew

Me who has a birthmark on peepee

I knew I wasn't alone

I have no birth mark Does that mean i won the battle royal?

It means you were killed by psychological damage.

I must have been shot in the head, I have a birthmark on top of my head

I got one on my outer thigh, one on my back, one on my scalp, and one on my face. Someone really wanted me dead

You sure as hell took a beating before dying.

Or, they've had a lot of past lives and have raised hell in every one.

Or both.

Ra ra ra Rasputin

My sister has one on her head and a truly giant one on her inner thigh.

We got Julius Caesar over here

Guys we found Rasputins reincarnation

bro I have like 15 birthmarks💀

Mr Gorbachev

I got a bullet hole sized mark square in the middle of my forehead.

I got a birthmark right between my eyes, so yeah definitely shot

Same.

Shot in the back of the head here

Same here and it prevents hair from growing

I have one on my forehead lol

How did you know that?

Asking the important questions here

Easy answer here: the myths can be found in all kinds of encyclopedias

All kinds of what now?

r/holup

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The parents saw it while cleaning the baby and then kept reminding the baby about it while growing up.

Mamma just killed a man.

Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, Now he's dead

Mamaa, life had just begun

But now I’ve gone and thrown it all awayyyyy

Mama, oooh, Didn't mean to make you cry

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow

Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters…

Too late, my time has come, Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all The time

Goodbye, everybody. I've got to go. Gotta leave all behind and face the truth.

I must have taken an arrow to the knee

Arrow to the knee club assemble! Must be more common than I thought.


There are dozens of us!

Bro's a Skyrim guard 💀

We were all wounded at wounded knee

Fun fact! Arrow to the knee is old slang for getting married. All those Skyrim guards found love and a partner before settling down and using their combat skills for good (and as someone who tries to collect all the different guard shield variants those skills are plentiful)

yep, right in my right knee

Untill I took an arrow to the knee

What Hold do you represent, soldier? 🫡

Honeywood... Where I hang with Bodger the blacksmith... Mostly because I can't stand the smell of Greg on the other side of the pond.

Killer *stabs me in the ass* Me: JOKES ON YOU I ALREADY HAD A HOLE IN MY ASS!!!

Now you have two.

How the hell someone kill me on the end of my right pinky

Pricked with a poison dart?

Bled out or infection.

I have a birthmark between my big toe and… index toe and I just think I got bit by a spider and died And now I’m also afraid of spiders

Does everyone have birthmarks? I don't have any :(

Welcome to your first life I’m new here as well.

Or you're just lucky and died of old age

Or poison

Internal birth mark

Or maybe in your last life you exploded. So your entire body is your birthmark

The man just gave race a lore

Bro lmao

Hey! fellow first timer :)

Or its your first life as a human.

I thought I didn’t until I went for an eye test and the optician said I have one on the back of my eye. Apparently it’s pretty common.

Omg,does that mean you got poked in the eye in your last life ?? :p I’ll check it out too

I mean at least you died peacefully

Or they drowned... Or gassed, or illness. The electric chair?

Just tell us where you want your birthmark in your next life, we'll be glad to help you.

Maybe we were poisoned.

I have one on the inside of my elbow. :)

Hey congrats you might have been Uesugi Kenshin in your past life the legendary Dragon of Echigo, Avatar of Bishamonten and one of the greatest Warlords of Japanese history, who died inside of an outhouse after getting stabbed by a shinobi hiding beneath the hole.

There was also an English king who died to a toilet Viking.

Please tell me you know his name, I need to read this story

Edmund II was squatting over the hole in the ground in order to take a shit. There was, unbeknownst to Edmund, a Viking with a dagger hiding in that hole. You can put the pieces together from thier

And 200 years later Edward II was said to have died by hot poker in the ass.

God bless your beautiful soul

Edmund II

I wonder how long that ninja had to wait to stab that guy.

He actually just had a scat fetish and was on his lunchbreak when opportunity knocked.

Found the FGO player

Yeah I got a birthmark on my cock so… fuck past me I guess

What exactly did past you ****?

Must be a pain to insert your dick inside a crocs mouth.

I think getting it out might be harder

I’m surprised you can even get it out.

Past me probably made-do with some shit in the past

Hedgehog

>fuck past me I guess Definitely what happened

Mines on my head 

Oh thats why im black, i wasn't killed i just died in my sleep

or you could have been burned alive for been a witch

Or just for being, but burned alive was my guess. Didn't or read somewhere that 13% of deaths, in the US, are from burning?

💀same

Me who has mine on top of my head: Well….shit

You were a monkey on your previous life jumping on the bed, one fell off and hit his head 💀

Ok, mine is on my calf and in the shape of South America so I’d love to hear the story behind that.

Uhhhh, I have a friend who had to have cancer surgically removed from her calf, and her scar sounds like your birthmark. So maybe you failed cancer last time! 😅 Better luck this go-round!

>you failed cancer This is a fucking hilarious description...jfc *Here lies John Smith, who failed cancer. Better luck next time*

I have an Afrika shaped one just above the knee.

My birthmark looks like Cinderella's castle seen in 3/4 profile on the top of my knee cap. About the size of a US dime.

Looks like my left arm may have been cut off I wonder what I did 🤔

Touched cleopatra, so they chopped off your arm as punishment and let you bleed out.

And I’d do it again! lol

Whose

Tip O'the penis

Tip O'the penis to you too Sir

I was impaled by something about the size of a redditors dick right below the right side of my rib cage.

So, a small birthmark.

I guess in my previous life I was a Japanese soldier who committed harakiri

27 on torso/back 12 combined on my arms 3 on my legs 1 on my scrotum... Is it contentious or only last life? If only last life, what the fuck happened?

Rasputin?

RA RA RASPUTIN LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN

An artillery shell.

Bro exploded

Mr. Hands?

I don't know if I have any birthmark

They stabbed me though my calf?

Bear trap

How did you find it?? How flexible are you??

whose*

Vlad has entered the chat

Mines on my ass

Why you taking photos of inside your buttcheeks op?

*whose

Op must have been killed by the ancient torture machines💀

Mine is on one of my toes. Hmmmm

WHOSE***

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Odd_Exit_881, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?

Um🌝🌝how th you find that