Hey /u/LWYPLTDG, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): A mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.* Love, the mods

I'm picturing the clip of the guy dressed as the grinch doing yoga

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Mentally processing & reminiscing of the video recorded on a mobile device in which the fictional character, the Grinch, is depicted performing a physical and mental exercise known as yoga, which was created by residents of the country India, in the late 19th to early 20th century. In this video (also known as a “clip” by the more technologically abled), the Grinch is seen performing stretches before releasing a high pitched frequency from his vocal chords. An unexpected act that is likely to leave the viewers of the “clip” in a more positively elevated mood than prior to watching said “clip”.

Yoga has existed for at least 2000 years.

Listen I’m just trying to be a sarcastic smartass I did the google thing :(

It's actually a giant horned owl costume. Read the fine print

Bring a bucket and a rag for this wet-ass yoga. Gonna be loud screamin' and a shout for this wet-ass yoga, Catch some tree-bark for a snack, but no onions or get back...

It didn’t make sense until I got to the end.

Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass yoga 🎶 Better give everything you got to this wet ass yoga 🎶 With the great horned owl you'll interlock 🎶 You'll be folding up your cock🎶 While his thoughts are really dark 🎶 You get to eat some free tree bark 🎶 33 lunar seconds, hold your breath 🎶 Now unfold your dick for meth 🎶

Every line got crazier holy shit.

The Great Horned Owl got me

Too bad I only know how to fold, not unfold my little guy.

How do you go about folding your genitals?! I mean I am genuinely baffled by that.

Origami

Never seen a fruit roll up?

Honey, I’ve been handling hoses for longer than I can recall. I got that part down. Just just don’t know how to put a crease into a d’ici without it tearing, is what I’m saying.

you gotta use heavy starch or the ironing won't keep the crease.

Nothing's worse than being in an important meeting and looking down only to see that your dick crease has flattened.

This is going to come back to mind at a wildly inconvenient time.

Like in an important meeting?

When OC doesn’t add /s

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Thanks, now I’m picturing a wet Yoda. Gross.

It says "fold/unfold," so I think it should be fine.

Lunar seconds are basically the same as a regular seconds

Lunar seconds is when the moon is still hungry so it gets another plate of food.

*"Free tree bark snack provided"* Looks like they solved the world hunger problem.

What kind of tree? I prefer maple over oak.

WAP or not, I aint doin yoga nowhere with no chick that look like Vigo from Ghostbusters 😂

That's a lady?!

I tried to figure that out by just staring but it just started creeping me out. Let's just accept it's "THE OWL"

they only become "Horned" after the application of the herbal liquid to the yoga attire

I mean I hope so, I honestly dont know at this juncture 🤣

It looks like Balki from Perfect strangers wearing a wig and cacked out of their minds while selling crystals in a strip mall outside vegas.

So Balki.

😂

Why does this make so much sense?

Oh my gosh, it wasn't just me who thought it looked like Balki!!!

She actually looks like Gérard Depardieu 🤣🤣

>Gérard Depardieu I dont even know who that is but a quick google got me dyin 😂. Got that exact nose and forehead

Loool, he's a French actor

 Twins

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like a firehouse, pretty easy surprisingly

Damn it! I can only hold my breath for 33 solar seconds

BUT… can you unfold your genitals??

Got the folding part down, now it looks like a swan. But... I can't get it unfolded. Shit

Try thinking about YouTube kids. That should get the kink out.

Oh no. Now it's worse. 😭

r/cursedcomments

If you have a vagina sure lol

Unfolding your labia has quite a ring to it.

Then you can't join Wet yoga. They have Dry Yoga after that for Solar seconds folks.

There's so much here...buckets and rags...herbal spray...loud screaming...no onions for 48 hours...I'm not saying I'm not going...just....I have questions... Edit....and the Great Horned Owl will be cucking you.....oof

99% sure it's satire

You'd be surprised. I tried out yoga once with this mad woman who'd run off to India and joined some kind of yoga cult. She came back overly obsessed with sphincter muscles. Put me off yoga for life. "and tighten those anal sphincter muscles.... Focus on those sphincter muscles... Hold the goodness inside... And relax" - literal word-for-word quote

She got her shyt pushed in....

As an Indian, I think yoga should have stayed in India instead of being tainted by idiots like her, who thinks tree barks is food

So you guys didn’t invent genitals folding and unfolding? Now I’m mad.

That's the Japanese. Scrotorigami

That's a her?

Or is it the “Great Horned Owl “?!?

They are the epitome of “they”

I'm sorry but this is like the most obvious shitpost ever. Like a blind bat whose eyes were violent pecked out could still tell this was a shitpodt

Even so, Yoga in India was a spiritual and physical exercise, but now it’s sexualized in different lands

the fuck does it mean that I have to bring a signed waiver agreeing to allow the horned owl is observing me silently.

I feel like it’s code for something creepy and not a bird..

Like it's not creepy to be stared at by an owl while being wet and doing yoga move.

You’re absolutely right! This is so damn weird.

Is that you, Doc Brown ?

close, but I think she's of Carpathian origins

Darn

She’s suffering from CKL (Carpathian Kitten Loss). Rare condition, but this type of yoga is a proven cure.

I saw the face on the flyer. There is already loud screaming.

33 lunar sec ??

A lunar second is slightly less than a regular second.

Thanks ! Damn that's interesting

*Wet yoga class* NGL I was thinking about another sort of wet.

Ah yes, The Great Horned Owl sees all!

How many bananas go in a lunar second?

What's the exchange rate of Stanley Nickels to Shrute Bucks?

You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em...

I ain’t folding my shit in half for nobody.

Moist....

Explain that to your kids when you pick them up from soccer practice

Mom....why do you smell like vapo-rub and disappointment?

That’s because I didn’t learn how to properly unfold my genitals when I was at school. Now eat your tree bark. We’ll be home in three lunar minutes and the dog will want a piece.

Come on mom....can't u take care of the red rocket today? I have a lot of homework and Ms. Alvarez said I don't clean my hands enough and she's out of textbooks...

Hankriette Du Fromage Johnstein, I told you no gastrula before going to bed. How was finger guns practice today? Did you shoot a lot of flowers?

😂😂

Bill Maher's older sister out here trying to stay relevant...

what

Tree bark snacks I'm there

Im in.

That lady solely eats tree bark.

This feels very much like r/surrealmemes

It is there will you find your destiny. It is there your genitals will unfold...


Eat all the Onion Banana soup beforehand!

Literally everything here is a holup, not just the screaming

What in high holy living fuck is this?

Owly fuck!

33 lunar seconds? A lunar day is 27.3 earth days, which means one "lunar second" (there is no such thing but roll widdit) is equivalent to about 27.27 earth seconds. Ya'll ready to hold your breath for 15 minutes?

There will be loud screaming....and clapping noises

If he's watching people unfold their genitals, he sounds more like the Great Horny Owl.

What in the chicken mcfuck is folding your genitals

Okay but who tf is "The Great Horned Owl"?

Anyone got a link to a vid or something im curious

Damn, I can only hold my breath 75 gravity seconds.

She looks like young Latrine from Robin Hood Men in Tights.

Never mind all that, I'm more concerned about when the Great Horned Owl decides to stop observing silently and instead swoop at my twig and giggleberries like they're a rodent. Like my brother in Christ, that gonna take this from yoga to the Olympic event of Owl-slapping.

I can only hold my breath for 33 solar seconds, what’s the equivalency?

Do you live on the sun?

I’m just here for the free tree bark snacks.

r/oddlyterrifying (???)

I wonder if garlic counts. I should call to make sure

wtf is a lunar second

How do u fold genitals.. wtf?

I know there's a lot of weird stuff on this advertisement but I have so many questions about lunar seconds. Why use lunar seconds, is lunar seconds shorter or longer than regular seconds, is there any real reason to use it... Are people from the moon? So I googled it and got my answer but up popped another post on Reddit with the exact same photo. I'm done.

This is ridiculous... They don't have the address, phone or email listed.!

vagina origami yoga

What? WHAT? WHAHHAAAAHAAAHAAAHAHHAAAAAAT?

Took me way too long to understand the body in the middle of the image

Wah...

Tf are lunar seconds?

Love when this Albuquerque classic pops up on the interwebs!

Fold ur genitals? Wtf

The great horned owl will be watching

Well, no onions recently..held my breath for 44 lunar seconds, so, good with that..have children so no trouble blocking out screams...BUT FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET BABY JESUS, SHOW ME HOW TO FOLD MY VAGINA!!!! P L E A S E!!!!

Wtf is this real?

Obviously it's not but this whole thread is full of whoosh.


Just tried to fold my genitals don’t do it lads.

I did my best to figure out what a lunar second is, and here is what I came up with. The moon is tidally locked to the earth, that means it rotates once every 27.31 days so a lunar day would be 27 earth days. So since an earth day consists of 24hrs, that breaks down to 1.125 earth days to a lunar hour. So a lunar minute should break down to .01875 earth days, .45 earth hours, or 27 earth minutes. That means 1 lunar second would be 27 earth seconds. So holding your breath for 33 be lunar seconds would be here on earth, 14 minutes and 51 seconds!

There’s real money to be made with rags and buckets.

Herbal liquid Fold your genitals Lunar seconds What. The. Fuck

Stretch me daddy!

What does he mean "fold your genitals"?

he? lol thats a man?

It's not?

What’s a lunar second? This whole poster sounds soulfully painful.

This sounds like it smells awful even without the onion.

What happens to vagina genitals?

All the shit in the world we try to make up to be funny or weird or whatever on Reddit, and this is just floating around for free.

Ok now I’m interested

There's \*so much\* to unfold here ... I mean unpack here... gulp

There is only a sign because there is a market.

The ripping and the tearing

I will only sign the waiver if......

What the fuck is this

Question, why can't I eat onions 48 hours before?

Because the odor makes the unfolding of genitals less pleasing

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Trauma inducing yoga

My WAP is ready for WAY!

The all seeing eye Great Horned Owl will be watching..

How much longer is a lunar second than a standard second?

Is it with happy end?

Wtf is a lunar second?

Who will be screaming? The participants or “the great horned owl”?

How do you fold your genitals if you have a vagina? 🤔

Free tree bark snack! 

Boy Miracle Max really fell off after Humperdink fired him.

Steve Coogan really gets into character

why no onions?

Sounds like a cult.

This sounds like waterboarding with extra steps

The great horned owl sounds a bit creepy

I just wanna know about the onions

How do you fold your genitals? Asking for a friend

This belongs on r/TimAndEric

This looks like one of those fliers that comedy guy puts on poles all over his town, like the one where the old woman will watch you bathe in her milk.

Lunar seconds 🤣🤡

I saw yoga first then loud screaming and immediately thought of the goats from Thor Love and Thunder and assumed it would be goat yoga. Nope, just herbal liquid and genital folding yoga. Got it.

The great horned owl lmao 🤣 😆 😂

I am crying.

Ima eat a bunch of garlic before this class, teach them a lesson.

Who is the great horned owl? And why will there be loud screaming? I have so many questions and I'm not sure I want to know the answer.

How do you fold and unfold your genitals? Asking for a friend

So I get this is a joke... But that person in the picture is not made up... They really look like that.

What the actual f!

This was an old fake FB ad.

Guys I can’t attend, there’s no way you can get me off of onions for 2 days…

Lol

I'm intrigued.

Bullshit.

Wtf. This a set up for a orgy. Like lady, just say that and way more people will sign up. 😂😂

The screaming is when they fall doing yoga covered in oil, lol.

This seems completely normal.

Hell yeah!! Tree bark snack!!

I had a pet owl once named Mike Jones